This is a followup to my post in this thread. Some people wanted more details so here they are. My last submition "How I Rebuilt Myself" got positive feedback, so if you like this, that might also be helpful.

The following is rarely talked about because it is hard to define, however often just being aware of it is a fix in itself. Personally this was a huge secret that was blocking me.

Symptoms

  • You know pickup material, but you aren't getting women.
  • You can open like a boss, but conversation never escalates
  • You get numbers, but no solid day2's (this includes flakes)
  • You don't know whether to invite a girl alone or to hang with bunch of friends
  • You need to clarify whether a day2 is a date or "just hanging out"
  • You come here not knowing what to text or say to a girl

To clarify, what follows is not the only cause for these symptoms nor is it a "magic pill" solution. It is often a part of things, and a part that is not generally talked about in pickup material. This was the major difference for me before I was really successful.

The Problem

Guys have a "worldview" before pickup that they hold onto once learning PUA techniques. Things like: "I don't often meet new women", "I don't normally take women home", "Women won't have sex without being in a relationship". They hold onto this worldview when doing pickup, especially "indirect game" which compounds the problem by telling the reader to avoid showing interest in the woman.

The big problem comes when they try to change to a "We are going to sleep together / date" worldview, usually far too late in the interaction. It comes as a surprise to the girl and seems incongruant. If you ever felt like escalating was "out of the blue", this likely applies to you.

First impressions:

Women start building an image of who you are, what your life is like and how they factor in your life from the moment they meet you. If they start building a "friend / boyfriend" image, any attempt to break out from that is difficult. If they start with a "seducer / lover" image, then everything is much easier as they already start imagining you together.

My next post will be "Thinking like a Woman", it will cover all the decisions she goes through to classify you and decide whether to sleep with you and/or date you, and how to build a successful image outside of attraction / comfort / kino and the traditional PUA material.

The Solution

You need to adopt a PUA worldview (examples below) from the start, and keep it the entire interaction. This is not something you add in after you think she is interested or after you have her #. This is there from the start, so they know what to expect every step of the way. Here are some examples:

  • I often meet women, and take them home. This is normal
  • It is common to meet people and meet alone at a later date
  • I am highly valuable and women fight for my time

You need to make it clear from the start that you know and let her know where the relationship is heading. You guide the entire process, so she isn't surprised and doesn't hold any ambiguities about where things are going.

Indirect Game

You don't need to let her know that you are interested in her, but she still needs to know that it is normal for you to seduce women in your life. So if you do decide you like her, it is not a surprise or out of character for you to seduce her.

Techniques

So how do we project this worldview?

In conversation

  • Getting her relationship status early on
  • Guide conversation to relationships / sex / personal relationship histories
  • Make comments implying you two will hookup, get into a relationship, heck get married, etc (all semi-joking)
  • Disqualify yourself from relationships which indirectly implies still hooking up
  • Stories about girls you've hooked up with, exciting ones

Make it clear from the outset where you think this interaction is heading. Tons of standard material apply.

Sub-communication

  • Kino (this is huge, just a hidden squeeze can communicate a lot)
  • Not accepting any frames that don't lead to you hooking up with her

I could go into an entire post about frames, but basically this means if she throws out anything like "You could be my friend", "We should go on a date where you spend money on me", "I don't hook up with strangers", then you don't accept those. That means being unreactive, treating it like she was joking, changing subject like you didn't hear it, or actually calling her out on what she said rather than let it slide.

Timebridging (proper #-close)

Handle every detail:

  • When / How you are going to get in contact with her, how she should answer
  • What you two will be doing together (Paint an image for her)
  • What you expect and she should expect from the day2 (more than friendly conversation)
  • Where the relationship is headed (above, should be covered before the day2)
  • Get her to confirm with enthusiasm your day2 plans

This is huge, because guys will often get a # without doing ANY of this, and wonder why she doesn't pick up or flakes. You need to walk her through the entire mental process of deciding to go on a date with you. Tell her you are going to call her tomorrow at 6pm, and she better answer within 2 rings and say "WOW curveball I am so happy to hear from you!". Tell her you are going to get icecream, talk about the fun conversation you will have and what will happen afterwards. Have her imagine walking with your arm around her licking icecream cones together, getting some on your nose, etc. Get her to agree to it! If she isn't 100% committed then tell her the plans are off.

Secret Tip: Ask her if she thinks she would go out with you if you asked her on a date, before you ask her. Studies have shown once a person cast themselves in a role performing an action, then there is massive cognitive dissidence to later change their mind, because they'd have to re-evaluate their own choices. This can boost your date rate immensely.

What if I don't have time or haven't isolated?

Same thing but abbreviated if you have to get her number quickly without locking her. Even if you are going to invite her and her friends to meet up with your group at a nightlife thing, you should still cover when you are going to contact her, what you guys will be doing together and have her agree to it.