I notice something interesting with the guys I coach.

And its even something I used to do some 10 odd years ago when I was new to this.

And it's this feeling of finality when you make an approach, this idea that since you approached her, now you have to get her number.

And here's how it usually comes up...

When I'm working with more inexperienced guys, especially the ones who still have nerves around approaching or the ones who can approach but then go blank and can't figure out what to talk about, one of the first things I work on is just getting them approaching consistently.

We're not concerned about the outcome at this point, if they're just approaching whenever there seems to be an opportunity, that's a win in my book.

And then something like this happens - The guy spots a girl and then he hesitates so much that he just misses the chance to approach her.

And its not because of nerves. What he tells me is something like, "I saw her and thought of approaching, but couldn't see her face that clearly, so I wanted to see her better before going for it."

But like the title says, you don't need to get her number.

If you approach someone, and it turns out you're not attracted to them for some reason, you can just have a pleasant conversation with them and leave without even bringing up the number or any contact info. 🤷‍♂️

If you're not someone who is naturally gregarious and you still have some awkwardness to you when approaching, then approaching and having conversations with anyone will help improve that.

I tell my guys all the time, you should also approach women you aren't attracted to, older people, men, etc.

If anything, just getting used to talking to people you don't know in general will make it so that all you need to do to meet someone you're attracted to is to do what you normally do.

Another thing I get slight pushback on is when I say, "When you're talking to a girl you find attractive, you should be setting up a date from the very moment you start the conversation."

Its not what you think. I don't expect someone to immediately say after the opener, "Hey, we should go out some time."

What I actually mean is, everything you talk about should move you at least one step closer towards planning a date with her.

And after telling them that, I might get something like, "What if I talk to her and realize I don't like her that much?"

I just go, "So don't go through with setting up the date and don't get her number. 🤷‍♂️"

Just because you're going in that direction doesn't mean you have to see it through to the end, but it's better to be going in that direction regardless, in case you do end up liking her.

It's like the saying, "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

So if you notice yourself doing these things, avoiding approaches just because you aren't sure she's your type, or being directionless in conversation and talking useless fluff which will make it harder for you to properly get to know her anyway, just know, you always have the option to walk away.

You don't NEED to get her number.

.........

P.S. I am a dating coach but I'm not selling anything, there's no secret technique I left out of this that you have to hit me up for or anything like that.

Feel free to read this post and take whatever you want from it and never contact me. I just wanted to share an insight that's relevant to this subreddit and maybe help some of you guys out.