Hey, I'm fairly new to this sub but I did something and I'm proud of myself and this felt like the appropriate venue to share my story. As a disclaimer: if you're super experienced you won't find this very interesting, I'm writing this for those who can relate to my situation and hopefully find courage in reading it. Saddle up fellas, it's story time. I go into great detail so I apologize if it's too long! I just want to be as clear and as thorough as possible to create every possible learning opportunity for like-minded individuals.

So, I'm one of those shy, nerdy types who becomes very charismatic once I'm comfortable/familiar with you. I used to be super introverted but acting school and extroverted friends has encouraged a lot of growth over the past 7 years (I'm 27). Most of my friends don't even see me as shy at all since I've known them so long and have tons of enthusiastic energy around them, but when I'm by myself in public I become very withdrawn. Almost reverting to my childhood introversion.

I've always struggled with "cute bus girls." Like you know when you see a girl, you're checking her out and you're POSITIVE she's checking you out too and you wish you could just work up the balls to go over to her and say something? Doesn't even have to be on a bus, but that... Situation.

Walking up to random girls on the street has never appealed to me even as a skill I'd want to learn as it just feels unnatural for me personally. But on a bus, when you're both stuck there for 15-40mins anyway... I always felt like I was wasting perfectly good opportunities out of fear of rejection. I'm sure lots of you have seen that comic of the guy and girl on the bus imagining talking to eachother but neither does anything. I relate(d?) to that comic hardcore.

So the last few years a few things happened that acted as a catalyst: I was dumped by the girl who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with, tried to get my shit together but ended up settling for someone and subsequently breaking it off because it wasn't the right fit for either of us. Got my shit together again and told myself I needed to be desirable to attract the kind of girl I desire. On top of that, most of my friends are engaged at this point and I'm still single and I realized love is not going to fall into my lap, that I need to make an effort to find it. So last year I asked a girl out. One of the severs whom I'm friendly with at the bar one of my friends and I regular.

She had a boyfriend, but she was flattered. And I felt amazing. It was the first time I'd ever asked a girl out, let alone someone who I wasn't already friends with. But she wasn't a total stranger, we were on a first name basis already so I knew I still had work to do. Over the next year I made an effort to ask more girls out. I ended up doing this 3 more times over the course of a year (not a lot, but hell of a lot more than 0 over 10 years).

Each time I did it, I got more comfortable with the idea of telling girls how I felt. The idea of rejection seemed less and less like a punishment and more and more like a consolation prize. True rejection is not doing anything about how you feel, wether its a long time friend or a stranger on public transit.

So, with my newfound courage of asking out girls whom I'd gotten to know as acquaintances, the final shove I needed unfolded before my eyes. I started watching a Netflix series called Terrace House. A Japanese reality show about 6 strangers living together and observing how they interact.

Now, bare with me, I know this sounds silly. But I may have never found the courage yesterday to do what I did without this show. I won't go into great detail, but the tl;dr is the aggressively honest way the guys in this show approach girls they like really inspired me. If this post is resonating with you whatsoever, I highly recommend giving this show a watch. You might be surprised. (also its just a neat way to see real, unedited japanese culture if that's your thing)

SO. With all the being said, this brings me to last night. I was bussing home from work and I saw her. The conditons were perfect. I was standing because the bus was fairly full but she was sitting. I had a 40 min ride ahead of me and I noticed her noticing me. And she noticed me noticing her noticing me. Etc. It definitely felt like we were checking eachother out, but that's nothing new for me. That's usually my finish line.

But last night it was just the starting line. As we traveled along, the bus got less and less crowded until the seat next to her eventually freed up. She looked at me, I saw her and she looked away slightly embarrassed, looked at the empty seat next to her and then away again. I took that as a huge hint.

And I STILL didn't do anything. For what seemed like 10 minutes but was probably only 1 I tried desperately to convince myself to just sit beside her and make light conversation all the while my scumbag brain fed me anxieties about how terribly it could all go wrong. And then we stopped, and someone sat beside her. Cue shattering glass sound.

"Another great opportunity wasted" I thought. "It would've been fine. She seemed interested and rejection isn't even bad, you know this now." But instead of wallowing in pity, I decided that if that person also left their seat it would be a sign for me to actual do something and I would no longer have any excuse not to do it.

And then he left. One stop later, after convincing myself that I wasted an opportunity and if the seat became available I'd take it again, he got up and left. I kind of had an "oh shit" moment when I realized what had to be done. I was completely out of excuses, conditions were perfect and I had enough experience to try. So after a few seconds of panic, I pulled my shit together and sat beside her.

"oh god what now" was my first thought. I just sat there awkwardly for like 30 seconds before she (bless her heart) took out her earphone from the ear closest to me. Again I took this as a sign, especially because I knew if I didn't try talking to her at this point I would be in creep territory.

So with all that being said I took out my headphones, turned to her and just said "Excuse, me. Does this go to ____ Terminal?" and she chuckled and said yes. I quickly followed up by asking her name, she obliged, asked mine and said nice to meet you. I said "You're very pretty by the way." and she seemed genuinely flattered, not put off at all. But after she said thank you I didn't know what else to say so I just asked if she was coming home from work and thats when the conversation took off. From that point on my regular conversation skills just took over and it all felt very natural.

After some time of small talk, she started putting her stuff away and said she was getting off in a few stops. I knew at this point it was now or never.

"Do you think I could get your number?" she was super nice about it but said she had a boyfriend. "What? All that and OP got rejected? But the title says success!" Well, it was a success in my mind.

I reacted pretty casually and told her no worries, that this was actually my first time doing anything like this and her reaction was actually very sweet.

She basically said, "Really?! I respect it. I think a lot of people do. It takes a lot of courage." I thanked her, we made a bit more small talk and she got off at her stop. She didn't have to say that at all but it was very nice of her and I definitely appreciated it.

I started doubting wether she was actually checking me out or not afterwatds but I'm positive she was as I'm not completely deluded and all the signs were there, especially during our actual conversation. I think she just didn't expect her eye candy to actually approach her.

Anyway, that's my story. I hope it helps people who are in similar situations, feeling like its impossible or hopeless. Because if I can do it, someone who was terrified of approaching whatsoever, then anyone can. Now that I've done it once, I can already feel how much easier and less stressful the next time will be.

Thank you for taking the time to read!