This is another personal post. Ik I promised two analytical posts, but I've been given a good moneymaxxing opportunity which has kept me busy. It's harder to make those data-based posts than one might think since I have to find the studies, review the statistical methods, etc.; it ends up taking a good hour or more of grinding per post.

Nevertheless, the two posts are coming very soon provided that I don't ever get up, keep grinding, keep hustling, shoot for my dreams bro.

But in all seriousness, it's hard to accept that it's over.

For context, I'm 5'7, Asian, and autistic. But I have a good face (about 6.5/10) and a six pack.

When I say "it's over," I don't mean that I'm a literal permavirgin inkwell. I do think that if I played the game right and maybe geomaxxed, I could get a girl in the end after expending effort, especially since I have my own house, and things are looking up in the money department.

But that's exactly it. I can't help but think in the back of my mind she wouldn't be into me for the person that I am. She'd be into the money, the stability afforded by having a house, or maybe even my race if she has an Asian fetish.

And that's exactly why I say it's over.

All I and many men ever wanted is to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Golddigging, racial fetishism, and desiring stability tend to wear off after a while. True acceptance of someone else for who they are is much more resilient.

And as a 5'7 Asian autistic clock nerd, I just don't see that happening.

When I see some 6' tall autistic white guy who has objectively worse facial aesthetics than I do get cold approached and fucked by women and be forgiven for his random screaming and infodumping about Marvel superheroes, it really puts things into perspective since I also get cold approached by women, but they just tell me how creepy I am even though I wasn't looking at or talking to them.

That's the real realitypill here. Even the relationships I've had and the seggs I may still get are based entirely off of golddigging or fetishism, which feel so superficial and shallow to me.

I should write a kpooppill/racepill post sometime since many people seem to have a one-sided view of it. Asian fetishism is really more complicated than one might think.

inb4 "wow, you really see all women that way?"

No, I don't, but those are the experiences with women that I've had. I get to judge my own experiences so long as I remain open-minded to new ones.

I don't literally think AWALT, but when you've been called a ch*nk, j*p, and g**k your whole life, and then suddenly some girl comes onto you pretending to be genuine and then reveals that she just had a kpoop fetish and basically sees you as arm candy, it really doesn't feel good even if you know you could ascend.

From g**k to Asian jester. Ah sho does want me sum mo massa.