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Any advice?

Putrid_Flatworm_2930

November 3, 2024

6 upvotes

Some advice?

Was just looking for some opinions and what to do. My wife and I have been circling the drain of divorce for some time. She has recently become verbally abusive to the point I just don't speak in my own household. I am finally going to take steps and contact a divorce lawyer. I was wondering from personal experience or professional opinions about a few things; 1. Our house is in neither of our names and is currently owned by my mother with no agreement. I've paid all utilities and payments towards her. What ownership does she have towards it? 2. Our finances have always been separate with separate bank accounts. My money has always been used to pay all the bills/car insurance. Hers has been used for groceries and that's about it. She also has made more than me the past 2 years according to our W-2. Any options/opinions on what will be done there? 3. We have no children so there is no issues there, what other things should I ask the lawyer?

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Post Information

Title	Any advice?
Author	Putrid_Flatworm_2930
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	November 3, 2024 1:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gibh5n/any_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-advice.1534498 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534498

Comments

[–]Gattsama 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Putrid_Flatworm_2930[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Gattsama 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Your best outcome is mediation. There are several divorce mediation services. Internet search and call a few in your area. You do NOT need attorneys, but can have them if you choose.

one of you files for divorce
you find a mediation service you both agree upon
you each fill out a full financial declaration
have mediation to divide everything everything
the serive will write it all up so it's legal, submit it to the court, judge signs off. And you're done.

Most services are $500-3000.

If either party is unworkable or unreasonable, you try binding arbitration (same as mediation, but the mediator makes a final decision. Almost the same as a judge, but again, faster and far less expensive.

If not, then it goes to trial. If you guys have no major assets, no kids, and both accept that divorce is the outcome; really try for mediation.

[–]Putrid_Flatworm_2930[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]sludgepress 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

From my experience with divorce, if the house is in neither one of your names then basically you would be considered “renters”. But if it’s your mother’s home, I doubt you even have a lease agreement? So the house is nothing burger.

Having no kids is going to make this so amazingly easy when you get to court. So honestly, I really wouldn’t sweat too much right now.

Since she does make a little bit more than you, you might, and I must stress…. MIGHT be eligible for a bit of spousal support, depending on how much more she makes, and the lifestyle you have lived. But that varies from judge to judge. As far as her being abusive to you verbally or otherwise, I was having a bit of the same issue while going through my divorce. And I purchased two things: I purchased a digital audio recorder (other than my iPhone) and literally recorded every conversation we had once the constant fighting began. I also went to a website that deals in low Tech spy equipment and I got what they call a “pen cam” it’s literally a camera that’s in a functional pen that you can stick in your pocket, and once again I recorded every conversation we ever had. Luckily, none of that was ever needed in my divorce, as it was pretty amicable, but I did have a lawyer. Tell me that if abuse can be proven through video evidence then things could swing desperately one way or the other. But once again, that depends on where you’re state wise, at and the judge you get, Just protect yourself with PROOF. Only give her money with checks. Never cash. Save every receipt for everything you buy from now until the divorce. Especially if you are including her on the purchase. Believe me, she WILL LIE in court if it suits her needs. Get print outs of utility bills…. Just BE READY in court. Just MHO.

[–]Putrid_Flatworm_2930[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link