Finding support afterwards

2BlackPeople · 2019-09-24T11:08:53+00:00

I don’t know. We’re all wired differently. I don’t need anyone and enjoy my solitude. My home is completely tricked out, and every month or so my neighbor pops over for a beer or 6 when I’m smoking something on my Traeger. His wife keeps trying to set me up with chicks from her work, so I don’t go over there often. Staying single the rest of my life. I had more than my share of women when I was young. I don’t need the constant “tests” anymore. I’m doing very well and do what I want, when I want. Not giving up my freedom again.

brother_meowzone · 2019-09-24T06:06:21+00:00

Places like this were a good start. Therapy for awhile until I got sick of shelling out $30 for someone to tell me shit I already knew. Meetup groups are great for meeting new friends. Family, if they're around. Finally, never be afraid to reconnect with old friends. If you've lost touch, try reconnecting. No one will say, wow you shouldn't have called, and they'll be happy when you tell them you're consciously trying to reconnect.

JustOkIsOk · 2019-09-24T16:00:37+00:00

Same as you. I moved down to where her and her family live. We got married, bought a house, started a life and had kids. 20 years together. My trips and hour away to see my friends were less and less over time to where I only see them the night before Thanksgiving and a couple of special events (reunions, etc). Reddit has been great for feedback and strangers helping you get through it. I will starting seeing a therapist, but brother_meowzone is correct - my therapist won't help me mourn the loss of the marriage any sooner than I want. Check Facebook (yes, it is good for something else besides seeing how everyone else's life is so much better than yours) and try to find some groups. I was in a couple of singles and dating groups. There are all kinds of groups on there, such as divorce support, etc. Also, try the Meetup app. Try to get out and get your mind off of everything.

While I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit it I saw someone on here mention dealing with the grief and not pushing it off. I did one Saturday night while she was out and about and had a "woe is me" session where I shed a tear and fell asleep. Woke up the next day and felt much better. Still hurting, but not near as much and realize I have to move forward. She is a different person now and I have 2 options - prepare for my new life or sit and feel down.

Like I say to others on here, if you want to message me and just vent then go ahead. I'm on here at least once a day.

delongpike · 2019-09-24T03:39:50+00:00

If you are feeling overly anxious or depressed be sure to see your Doctor or other provider.

As men, we are zero'd out socially and financially after a divorce while women get a TON of support. It may sound a bit lame but I take time out to laugh (movies), be self affirming and focus on the future. Check this cat out when you get some time, he had it far worse than us and has some real coping skills. And get some exercise, it boosts your testosterone and makes you feel better.

Title	Finding support afterwards
Author	nowherecanada
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	September 24, 2019 3:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/d8hgkh/finding_support_afterwards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/finding-support-afterwards.1203945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1203945

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