Good evening, ladies! Thank you for helping us continue to grow strong in 2022.

I recently stumbled upon some disturbing news about an actor on the 90 Day Fiance. A very brave woman called "Valerie" joined a well-known podcast to share some allegations. In the episode, Valerie said she endured multiple forms of abuse by Syngin Colchester. Although this seems it has yet to be resolved legally, I personally believe her.

Why is this story relevant to FDS? Valerie's line of thinking is IMO a result of direct and indirect LibFem Pickme conditioning. If you can stomach a listen, I linked the podcast below:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-86-trigger-warning-conversation-with-valerie/id1484406030?i=1000546452185

Let's deconstruct and discuss. For context, Syngin's character was consistently portrayed as LVM/NVM. In the beginning of his appearance on the show, he was portrayed sympathetically due to some nonsense lines and circumstances from his then-wife Tania. An example would be seeing his heart break when she said she loved him and wanted to marry him, but he was not her "soulmate" like her first love. The fan community piled on her, but there were some blazing red flags of alcohol issues and laziness in Syngin at the same time. I am not justifying Tania's actions.

Later in the series, signs of his alcoholism, laziness, and lack of ambition continued. Tania was crying at times over his indecision about children, lack of career direction, and their overall compatibility. Syngin appeared to be the "fun party guy" and had a host of enablers including his friends and family. Syngin seemed to have the "legend in his own mind" syndrome seen in many unambitious "nice guy" LVM/NVM: "maybe I'll be an opera singer or a fireman!" Syngin pooh-poohed his wife's concerns and told her not to worry, as if his life would magically fall into place by the universe (with no work on his part). As his marriage to Tania fell apart, verbal aggression was noted in this season of The Single Life, and he was observed to break a wine glass in anger. Again, this is all information as portrayed on the show, as I do not know him personally.

Enter Valerie's allegations. The pain and genuineness in her story bypass the vocal-distorting mechanism for anonymity. She described love-bombing in a short period of time, a whirlwind romance, and being alone with Syngin in a different state.

As she recounted her line of thinking during the interview, all I could think was she was an obvious product of libfem conditioning, wanting male approval, scarcity mindset, and simply wanting a warm human connection. She asserted she endured abuse (surprise surprise, he liked BDSM allegedly). He is 100% responsible if he did these things to her, 100% to blame for the pain he inflicted if indeed these things did happen.

As for Valerie, she was brainwashed to ignore her intuition, and well-meaning people she said warned her. Rumor has it even Tania reached out to her. Her mind was brainwashed by our society, maybe her home life, maybe her friends, maybe her exes, somehow to be a self-destructive pickme. She was taught to blindly trust a man and prize their connection over all else. To "help" him, to beg for humanity, to believe he was "deeper" and more respectful of her than he acted. She was pressuring herself (likely a result of useless therapists, professors subscribing to libfem acceptance of BDSM, and mainstream prnography) to accept the unacceptable. She offered herself up as a proverbial "lamb to the slaughter" for this man to (allegedly) use and abuse. She sacrificed her humanity as a person and was viewing herself through the male gaze IMO. It was heartbreaking hearing her story.

To make things worse, Valerie has children. Self-destructive pickmeism can indirectly or indirectly affect children via modeling, ditching the kids for a trip with some man, valuing a man's opinion over her own, and generally walking into danger. I hope above and beyond her child(ren) are protected.

Again, I do not blame Valerie for falling for this line of thinking. As Deb Cooper says, even religion can be misused to brainwash women into dating LVM/NVM they do not like/are not compatible with. In religion, the line of thinking is "only God can judge, we are all sinners, and who am I to judge him?"

So many of us may have been in such a situation, if not already. Maybe those of us who avoided it could have been at risk if we did not have the home life/values promoting protective instincts over pleasing men. Some of us did have those home values growing up but become brainwashed out of them at libfem universities or with bad therapists. So many of us were almost her, if our NVM exes were just a little bit more sadistic. So many of us were in an almost a mirror image of her situation, experiencing verbal abuse and more.

Valerie is so brave for sharing her story. We are her. She is us. We need to stick together and lift each other up. Ladies, we need FDS now more than ever. We have "professionals," media, and friends pushing us to push through discomfort/pain to please men.

Although this story is tragic, we have a few takeways for New FDSers and those in need of a reminder.

  1. Never date a man into BDSM

  2. Never go on a trip alone with a man you barely know

  3. Never fly out to see a man you barely know-- let him come to you (not to your actual house)

  4. Never believe love-bombing. It is impossible for your connection to be otherworldly, intergalatically "special" for you to throw caution to the wind

  5. NEVER doubt your gut instinct

  6. Take other womens' warnings into serious consideration

  7. When a man tells/shows you negative things about him, believe him

  8. When a man tells/shows you something positive about him, be skeptical and vet

  9. Anytime a man pushes a boundary or "no," he is gone

  10. Leave at the first sign of disrespect/red flag. It will not get better

  11. Value yourself more than male opinions. Male opinions of you, male attention toward you, male attraction to you, and sex from men is abundant and low value. It means nothing about your self worth

  12. Lift other women up (but ditch friendships with malignant pickmes)

Stay woke, ladies. Your mental and physical health depend on it.