Guys I need advice

mazzyuniverse · 2020-06-25T02:18:59+00:00

You have to understand that it’s them who need you more but not you.

I suggest you ask for something in return ( even if you don’t have to) and if they say no you tell them to fuck off, if they are willing to help you too then that shows they respect your help.

Your help isn’t for free, you gotta have some self respect and some boundaries.

It’s when you act like you don’t need them, you don’t need them to like you, people will start respecting you.

user_miki · 2020-06-25T03:06:58+00:00

The best thing a man should learn in his live is to say NO.NO, the word is the quintessence of MGTOW. Saying NO when it matters it is skill that any young man should master.

If nothing is in it for you say NO.You don't even need to explain why.Put yourself first.What is in it for me, if I do that.If nothing, say NO.

jd46249 · 2020-06-25T03:01:22+00:00

Charge them. I used to take tests for idiots in college for $100. Just start demanding compensation for your services.

Goaliej · 2020-06-25T03:26:41+00:00

If you let people use you then they may try to keep using you and use you even more. Women are big users. Women use their phones to use men. They have several men that they use their phones to keep in touch with to do things for them. These men are in her friend zone. They are her orbiters. When I had a girlfriend I had a rule. She would always try to see how much she could use me. My rule was to never do anything for her that she could do for herself. If she truly needed my help then I'd help her, but she was right there working on it with me. I wasn't just doing it for her. I remember once she wanted me to paint her bathroom. We did it together. Another time she wanted me to paint her base molding in her kitchen - this was such a small job that I made her do it herself because she didn't truly need my help. Next time you see a woman on her phone, remember that women's phones are really tools to keep in touch with their simps, orbiters and those in her friend zone to regularly collect free favors like helping her move, changing the oil in her car, etc.

Chakra_Devourer · 2020-06-25T03:51:21+00:00

WTF! You're not obligated to help anyone. They're not entitled to your time. They can all fuck off.

Captain_REEcard · 2020-06-25T04:02:16+00:00

If you're being asked to do something you don't want to do, but don't want to outright tell them no, you can always invent a fake because.

"I can't help because I have something to do."

Anyone worth a damn will respect that.

TheRealDegree · 2020-06-25T04:22:15+00:00

Ive been similar situations at university, though the social dynamics don't really differ that much in hindsight.

im not much of a socialite and usually dont keep regular company of more than 5 guys at any one time. I usually just help one or two guys with the problem (assuming every one has the same problem in your class) and let these guys handle the headache of giving out aid to other people. But don't let others take credit for work that you've done. Let others know, whether through assertiveness or in a joking manner that they owe you, make sure to come off as natural as per your personality.

Whether you ever ask for favours in return in the future is entirely circumstantial to you. Be smart and think about how people can benefit you in the future. Don't be an ass about it but don't be a pushover (or a simp) either when it comes to these sorts of intangible favours.

Oh and don't ever cooperate with/help females directly, let a mutual friend or classmate handle that. Will save loads of drama and pain.

Bokulence · 2020-06-25T05:58:03+00:00

The sooner you learn to say NO and STICK WITH IT the better your life is.

Who cares if they get mad. If they ask why, just say simple i can't.

Don't need to further explain yourself to others. If they keep asking why, just say no, i can't. More simple than this you won't get it.

Don't torture yourself to look for better explanation why you can't and why no.

Keep repeating, no and i can't

SufferableKant · 2020-06-25T06:39:54+00:00

"What's in it for me?" works well until you've managed to get over the initial unnecessary guilt that comes with telling people "No."

asspop1 · 2020-06-25T07:55:12+00:00

Hey buddy, from the looks of it they are using you for your knowledge and to have you do their work. What I suggest is to ghost of of them toxic people from your life. You study and do your thing. Don't help anyone at school, high school is a joke. Move on and try to find a good career. If they get upset at your for not helping them.. tell them to go fuck themselves. Be an asshole to them.. Only be an asshole to those that want to take advantage of you. Live life and be a good human being overall.

GoodMan_Gone · 2020-06-25T08:12:29+00:00

That's not only on high school, OP. People "claiming" help will come throughout your whole life. What I have learned is considering helping people to be a "currency" with a few "rules."

1 first and most important: does helping other people can cause me any kind of harm? Physical, mental or financially. If that risk is remotely present, the answer is "no."

2 Don't say yes or no immediately after the question. Take some time to think it over.

3 With the "currency" thing: I am not "scaling" the return favor on a mathematical level. But I do remember if those people let me down when I need them over and over. If they do, the door will be closed on my end forever.

4 If the answer is "no." DO NOT EXPLAIN your no. Off all people Oprah said "no is a complete answer."

5 Do not worry about people feeling hurt if you say no: they are the owners of their problem. Not you. And that ownership should always stay with the owner. You fix your own problems too, don't you?

For me an example from my high school times: a friend and I helped each other out with homework. Either I couldn't figure something out and he helped me out and v.v. I'd say that's a healthy help balance.

Of course I'm talking about non emergency situations. In those situations only item 1 is important: own safety first. If my own safety is reasonably guaranteed I'll do whatever I can to help somebody.

theoracleofosiris · 2020-06-25T10:17:37+00:00

Just leave them on read. Learn to love your own solitude.

Draw firm boundaries so you don’t hate yourself for having no self respect. There will be some people who will respect those boundaries and you can let those into your life. The rest? Just ghost them.

ThatBadAssBoi · 2020-06-25T11:21:00+00:00

[deleted]

FindingKeeping · 2020-06-25T12:32:37+00:00

Charge Fees buy Bitcoins

ThatBadAssBoi · 2020-06-25T14:26:58+00:00

[deleted]

isthisthelasttime34 · 2020-06-25T17:11:04+00:00

Just say you are busy and are working on your own things right now. If they continue to bug, say sorry, I can't help you, maybe you can find somebody else. And leave it at that.

Spurius85 · 2020-06-25T20:35:44+00:00

Some guys gain validation by helping others to succeed. I was one of those guys and I got a job tutoring math in College. If this is something that you find to be a chore, then by all means simply say no, as others have pointed out you are allowed to tell people no. However, if a part of you enjoys helping others then I would suggest the following boundaries:

Never help girls for free. If they get angry you simply say that your time has value and if they want to benefit from your knowledge and skill, they need to pay for your time. This is my personal rule because girls in high school and college generally only pass high school and college due to the free help of tutors and men such as yourself. Yet all of them still believe that they did it on their own and belittle the men that helped them. Charge about 5 to 10 times the minimum hourly wage, hourly. For example, Minimum wage in my state is 12 USD per hour. If I tutored, I would charge about $80 per hour.

Whether you want to help guys for free or not is up to you. Some guys are grateful, others are not.

Regardless of whether someone is paying you or not, when you help them you have to have two boundaries:

First, never just give them the answer. Your goal should be to guide them in finding the answer on their own. When they get angry and demand the answers, simply tell them that if you gave them the answers, they will be dependent on people like you through high school and university and you would rather see them be independent.

Second, never work on the homework problems with them. There are always other similar problems that you can work on together, but the homework is their responsibility and it gives them the opportunity to practice on their own. Gaining independence.

The people that just want to use you will stop asking for your help, but the people that genuinely want to learn will be grateful that you are guiding them on how to learn. If no one wants your help after all, then they were all using you to take the easy way in life.

If you are concerned that no one will help you then I would suggest the following:

Find the students that do know the subject and offer lunch in exchange for their knowledge. Once they see that you want to share knowledge and not use them, they may become your friends.

Find out when the teachers are available for questions. Ask them questions, but do not use up too much of their time.

Learn to use all the resources available to you. The internet, youtube, your local library, your textbooks, your family, and so on. You want to become an independent learner. Most university classes are very large and very poorly taught. You will want to have a plan to be successful regardless as to the quality of the education you are receiving in high school and university.

Best of luck. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything here.

Borgmeister · 2020-06-26T11:12:27+00:00

Sell your services 💯

These people don't value you they value your capabilities of production. Invoice for that.

Don't worry about this perception long term. Almost all friends drift away. True friends will expend propellant to remain in your orbit. And you will do so to remain in the orbit of valuable people. The rest is just drift and totally a target for billing.

Title	Guys I need advice
Author	ThatBadAssBoi
Upvotes	16
Comments	36
Date	June 25, 2020 2:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/hfe5g8/guys_i_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/guys-i-need-advice.699354 https://theredarchive.com/post/699354

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