Hello! I was just looking for some advice… 2 years ago, my grandma moved in with my Husband and I and for about a year and a half things were really great. For the first couple of months, we had two kids during this time and she would play for a little while with the girls. More recently, she would play for about a half hour or less than more or less live her life. She had space in the basement - the living room, bedroom, bathroom, and kitchenette.

She was very grateful and lucky to live with us, until about May of this year. she started to grow almost resentful. Making rude comments about going to her “hole”, not spending as much time with the girls, etc. right around this time, she made a really rude comment to my husband, he stays home with our girls and she made a deragotorty comment like “oh well, you don’t deserve this because, you are just a stay at home Dad”. He tried to bring this up to her a couple days later about how it hurt his feelings, because he does also work, he is just the primary care giver during the week while I’m at work. Regardless of if he stayed home, he is still providing so much to our family. When he brought it up, she got really defensive and claimed he made it up (which he didn’t), but then from that day on, things got extremely tense and she avoided, ignored, made judgy comments about how our girls were dressed (I.e “oh no socks today?”), how we were raising them, and genuinely made it hard to live in the same house. In July we asked her to move out and she had a place lined up where she was on the waitlist, but we asked she be out sooner as that would be April 2024… so she found an apartment, and has been living there since August. We have had a couple family events and she will speak to me, but won’t talk to my husband at all.

We did not invite her to our house for our annual Halloween Parade and did not invite her to the Christmas Program for our girls daycare. She recently called my husband and left a voicemail this week, basically saying she did not know what she did, but she is sorry. She asked that he call her so they can talk, and that she loves him, me, and the girls. Anytime we have brought up a frustration or issue in the past it is met with extreme defensiveness and never any ownership. Additionally, she has held grudges against people for several years over small comments they have made. I’m worried if we call her back that things will get worse and she will get defensive and blame us again. Additionally, I don’t know if not responding is the issue either. What would you do?