Have been reading a bit lately, somewhat spurred by some things in my relationship that are frustrating me, and I'm trying to understand and make the best decisions I can, and I happened upon this article: Why Being Asshole Alpha Works For About Six Months which got me thinking:

A few excerpts with some paraphrasing (also FYI the term fitness test is the same as shit test):

[Guys] get all excited about becoming Alpha, getting [some] months of great success from it, then nose diving their relationship into the ground. ... If you go all Alpha and neglect the Beta, eventually you run her Relationship Comfort down far enough to damage the relationship.

Alpha and Beta are two completely different traits. [Men] have to get over this idea that Alpha and Beta are at opposition to each other or [they'll] eventually screw [their] relationship up. [They] can do behaviors that are highly Alpha / Attractive / Dopamine stimulating AND highly Beta / Comforting / Oxytocin stimulating.

The point of critical failure comes [when the man] misreads a Loyalty Test as a Fitness Test. A Loyalty Test is based on her fears he’s not that into her and a Fitness Test is based on her lack of respect for him. Thus if she acts out a little to see if he actually cares about her (Loyalty Test), and he responds to that like she’s rude, spoiled and demanding, (Fitness Test) the results are going to be quite negative. It’s an easy mistake to make because being more Alpha was successfully passing all the Fitness Tests she was throwing at him before now. Once you have an hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Worse still, these critical points of failure can come when he’s bankrupted himself on the Beta front [meaning not enough beta credit built up with his woman]. Which is why suddenly the wife that was hot to trot just a few weeks ago, is suddenly shutting down sexually. If you’re in that position, it’s usually fixable, but you’re sure as hell going to have to offer up some apologies and the worse you bankrupted the Beta, the longer it’s going to take to make her feel comfortable being in a relationship with you. If you confuse being Alpha with being a full-time asshole, you’re going to have to eventually change that if you want to stay happily [in a relationship together]. It’s all about the calibration. Be consistently Alpha to keep attracting her, be consistently Beta to make her feel comfortable [and secure in the relationship].

To add to the above, this article Fitness Testing vs Loyalty Testing goes on to say the following:

Good Alpha (strong dominant = wet panties) Weak Alpha (doormat) Good Beta (looks after you) Weak Beta (doesn't do anything helpful or nice) If the Alpha is high but bad or not enough Beta, it’s a loyalty test.
If the Beta is high but bad and the Alpha is low, it’s a shit test.

[W]hen a wife Loyalty Tests her husband, and he bumps back on her and acts aloof and unaffected by her like it’s a Fitness Test, it makes things significantly worse between them. Playing hard to get when someone is desperate to see loyalty is the completely wrong thing to do.

Fitness Testing and/or ignoring you, act more Alpha Loyalty Testing and/or clinging to you, act more Beta

And, if that's not enough, to add to the above, there was a recent TRP post that resonated a lot of this here: LTR Game Part 8: Leadership and Support

DICHOTOMOUS BALANCE

What essential elements does the usual dichotomy of alpha/beta provide a woman? Survival and happiness.

  • Leader (alpha) is the means to a woman's survival and happiness. It is a set of behaviors that gears a man for success, and inspires others to do more, which includes performing his will.
  • Support (beta) is the security of a woman's survival and happiness. It provides an overall umbrella that makes a woman feel secure, and this makes her comfortable.

Absolutes on each end of the usual alpha/beta spectrums are negative and dysfunctional.

All of these extremes will cause severe anxiety, bridging on insanity:

  • Too much alpha, and she is never secure. Forcing an uncalibrated will on your woman creates a shell of a person.
  • Too much beta, and she comes to resent you. Forcing the need for more agency than a woman is comfortable with makes her feel like she is exposed to too much risk.
  • Too little alpha, and she feels uninspired. Uninspired women become lazy, slothful when it comes to your needs. She suffers without direction, has very little ability to recognize what would please you, and she rarely feels interpersonally accomplished.
  • Too little beta and she feels isolated. Unprovisioned women don't even have a temporary sense of security. She cannot hang on to positive states

So, with all of that above, I was curious what others think of all of this?

Have you had experiences which demonstrate this concept, or have you had a SO react to you as though you are shit testing them, when in reality, its a loyalty test (even if unintentional or only realized after the fact)? Or have you needed more beta behaviors from your high Alpha, low Beta SO, and if so, how did you try to inspire those? Any other thoughts?