Having (gay) male friends

JustAnne · 2014-10-16T12:50:41+00:00

I disagree with I guess everyone here. I think boundaries should be maintained. As in dont change in front of him, dont let him touch you where you wouldnt let a girlfriend touch you, dont do anything you wouldnt tell your boyfriend about. but then again i think that goes for female friends also.

but i also dont really see how validation from a gay friend is different from validation from my brother or female friends. maybe some of you can explain?

DrSpaceMan0 · 2014-10-25T23:02:52+00:00

No one should dictate who your friends are. If your mate has too small of an ego for you to have male friends, gay or straight, than dump his neck beardy ass.

2014-10-16T10:42:26+00:00

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gabilromariz · 2014-10-16T13:20:26+00:00

The "couple" part is what jumped out at me. I find it quite ok, as you'd probably only join them in activities would could probably also do with a straight couple, eliminating the risky situations of having a male friend, like:

spending time alone with a man
seeking said man for emotional validation
flirty games between you and the male friend
etc

To avoid most frowned upon scenarios just hang out with the couple (both), as well as adding more straight couples you could learn from, possibly arranging group dates and such

2014-10-16T14:15:33+00:00

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Simpsondimsum · 2014-10-16T11:07:12+00:00

I personally don't want to sound homophobic, but I've noticed most of the girls I know with gay BFFs usually have a hard time accepting blame when relationship ends. I'm talking about gay BFFs who are a bit on the feminine side and also flamboyant and sometimes promiscuous.

There's something damaging about having a friend that always tells you whatever issue your relationship has is not your fault and you're fabulous and you can do better. It's just not the type of friendship that's good for your relationship.

Also, like a previous poster said, there is too much "free" validation.

rumo_itaki · 2014-10-16T10:49:29+00:00

It is inappropriate for a woman in a relationship to hang out with male friends who aren't mutual friends with her SO. It's even worse if they are hanging out when her SO isn't around. Whether those male friends are gay or not it is still free male validation for her which is disrespectful towards her SO. An orbiter does not necessarily have to be attracted to her. An orbiter functions as a validation ATM, whether he is gay or otherwise.

Aerobus · 2014-10-16T21:27:33+00:00

I don't think it's a smart idea. Too easy to get used to/addicted to the excess validation.

2014-10-16T18:45:50+00:00

It depends on your SO's feelings about the situation, really. If those friends aren't toxic and your SO (future SO) doesn't mind you having them as friends, then you're good to go. I know I personally have two male friends (one asexual and one straight in an LTR) but I never hang out with them alone. It's always in groups (or in the case of the one in the LTR, with his girlfriend), which is something C is completely fine with, so long as no lines are crossed (which we have specific rules for boundary-crossing behavior).

All of that being said, you may encounter some difficulty securing an SO when you have male friends, gay or not, because some guys just don't trust other guys around their gal. And some men are uncomfortable being around gay men (concerns that said gay men will become attracted to them), so keep that in mind as well.

Title	Having (gay) male friends
Author	ladylayd
Upvotes	4
Comments	24
Date	October 16, 2014 10:10 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2jem0e/having_gay_male_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/having-gay-male-friends.84955 https://theredarchive.com/post/84955

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