No, Your Intelligence Isn't the Problem

PhantomDream09 · 2015-01-01T22:46:44+00:00

I always have to laugh when friends try to tell me that men are intimidated by their intelligence, independence, and opinions. No, they aren't intimidated - they simply have no interest in dealing with a woman that is overbearing and uninviting. One of my closest friends is extremely accomplished and intelligent (both in academic and practical ways) - but she never puts anyone off or has difficulty with other people.

She's successful in every aspect of her life because she understands how to evaluate and approach every situation. She can find common ground with everyone by asking questions, being sociable, and listening. She doesn't try to show off, or 'beat' people down with her know-how. Often times, people mistake 'intelligence' with a lack of tact and outright rudeness. Having a opinion, doesn't mean you need to share that opinion with everyone in ear-shot.

It's sometimes a bit dis-orientating, because my online interactions can be very different from my interpersonal ones. I spend a lot of time stating my opinions here, and conversing in a unapologetic-matter-of-fact way....but my approach manifests in a wildly different form when I'm talking to someone in person. Without the added warmth of tone, inflection, body language - a lot can be lost. There are, of course ways to compensate by paying particular attention to wording etc, but that also adds another factor of time investment. So while I will spend a considerable amount of time writing out my thoughts as completely as I can - I'm also attempting to be clear and sometimes 'warmth' becomes a casualty in the process.

Personality is simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing to change. It's easy in that, once you are aware of a particular off-putting tendency, you can be mindful of and control that flaw. Unfortunately, most people are fairly unaware and/or blind when it comes to understanding how other people perceive their behavior. Outward changes are far easier to implement in my opinion than internal changes. Why? Because you could be the most beautiful human in history - but if your personality is comprised of rotting carrion, then you won't find much success and happiness with relationships.

Iva3442 · 2015-01-02T03:35:30+00:00

"He's intimidated by my intelligence" is code for "My ego is too fragile to accept the fact that men aren't attracted to my FUPA and bitchy attitude, so I'm going to attribute it to my intellect so they can seem like the bad guys."

"Men only want stupid bimbos, they aren't attracted to intelligent women like me" is the female equivalent of "Women only go after assholes, they aren't attracted to nice guys like me."

Aerobus · 2015-01-01T21:46:02+00:00

Cliff notes:

The chance that your academic prowess intimidates a guy is rare
More often than not, you're underestimating the importance of your weight, hair length, and posture
If a girl isn't getting sexual attention from men, the hypothesis that her intelligence being threatening is wrong
"Men go for the girls they are physically attracted to, then choose from those the ones they are personally attracted to. Only after that do they take into account things like brains and (much later) salary or professional success. "
Your academic degree or high-paid position is an ego-boosting scapegoat
Your looks and personality, which do matter, are controllable.

Marriedwithkidz · 2015-01-01T21:52:27+00:00

Logically women should know this. The first thing you notice is actually the person physical features, weight, hair, eyes etc... you either will be attracted to the person or not, like it or not first impressions are all about the body, then when you get to know eachother intelligence and personalities. I can still tell you what my husband was wearing when I met him 22 yrs ago along with the way his hair was.

goddessof67 · 2015-01-02T00:28:07+00:00

I suppose women (and men) who hold onto attitudes that men are turned off by intelligence have been led to believe so by a society which generally preaches against the shallowness and superficiality of judging a person by their outward appearance alone. Perhaps this is a cautionary reaction to some very very stupid, dangerous and unwise decisions by powerful men in the course of history, who had allowed their attraction to women to undermine their better judgement, with dire consequences for the people they led.

igotbeatbydre · 2015-01-02T19:31:22+00:00

I got into an argument with a friend about this the other day. She's a feminist and just graduated college making 150k as a coder but she says she never tells guys what she does because they are intimidated that she makes more than them. It was funny how she still spent the whole night trying to get every guy who talked to her to buy her shots.
I had to explain that guys don't find her intimating, just unattractive. There's 2 types of women: career-oriented and family-oriented. Men want the latter option. You can have a great career and still be family oriented but it's easy to tell the kind of woman who is going to be putting herself and her career before her family

Antiteetotaler · 2015-01-04T03:22:23+00:00

Women tend to ignore their own contempt. Many women have mild BPD symptoms and will occasionally call out their man's shortcomings such as being short, earning less, lower IQ (particularly verbal IQ, where women have a very significant 5-10 point advantage), balding, small dick, etc. Most men aren't alphas with outcome independence so these comments hurt and lower his self-esteem. Women conveniently forgets her own nasty comments and projects all agency to man. Textbook female hypoagency and Women are Wonderful effects.

Mr-Ultimate · 2015-01-01T21:50:34+00:00

As a guy, i concur

Title	No, Your Intelligence Isn't the Problem
Author	Aerobus
Upvotes	17
Comments	11
Date	January 1, 2015 9:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2r1ea3/no_your_intelligence_isnt_the_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/no-your-intelligence-isnt-the-problem.196969 https://theredarchive.com/post/196969

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