How to attract LTR-material via online dating

Kittenkajira · 2015-04-12T04:55:21+00:00

I met my boyfriend of 4 years on OKCupid. I liked the site. I filled out my entire profile, and answered a lot of the questions. I liked being able to compare the answered questions with potential partners. I wrote in a way that described what I had to offer, and what kind of person I was, rather than what I wanted in a partner.

I also think it's important to have good pictures. You want clear face shots with smiling, and very light make up if any. Try and make it so that it's a good picture of you, but not your best. You want it so that when you meet, you look better than they expected, but still want a good enough picture to entice. Have at least one picture with your face and body in it.

I was polite when contacted, even if I didn't need to be. If I got a message from someone who I didn't think would fit (or was a really stupid message), I just messaged back "no, thanks". At the time OKCupid would track and show how often you respond to messages. I figured men would be more likely to contact me if they saw that I respond often. I didn't mind getting all the messages from PUA's - it's just part of online dating. Ignore, or respond "no thanks, not interested".

Aerobus · 2015-04-12T00:03:02+00:00

I don't understand why women want to do online dating for serious relationships. Maybe it's a generational thing.

Personally, I have a difficult time considering a woman who uses an online dating service as LTR material. If you were to meet me in person and strike up a conversation, I'm more inclined to think of you as a LTR woman. This is because when you go online, your presence is masked. Even though your name, age, and other information is made visible, you could be fudging certain bits of information. A classic example is when fat girls crop their photos.

If you are in college, my suggestion is for you to attend social events on campus and look for men there. I'm going to be blunt. As a college educated woman, there's a 95% chance you simply will not be happy unless your man is college-educated. Given that you currently attend a college, that is about 50% male (unless you are in an all women's college), you should take advantage of this opportunity and go out and look for a potential husband. Susan Patton, the Princeton Mom, advocates this, and it makes sense. You want a good man right? The first requirement for that is that he be college-educated, so you may as well start looking in the college you go to.

That being said, I will give you some tips on making a profile should you choose to pursue the online route. This advice also applies to meeting someone in person. This advice is given in no particular order, and they have varying degrees of importance.

Refer to yourself as a girl, not a woman. Men like hearing the word girl more than woman. There was a study done, I think by OKCupid, that showed that men were more likely to message women who referred to themselves as a girl in their "about me" section on the profile rather than those that referred to themselves as women. I can't really explain it to you, but I have to agree it sounds nicer when a girl refers to herself as a girl and not as a woman. Probably something to do with the desire to protect her and be the dominant person in the relationship. I don't remember where I saved this study, but if you would like, I'll look it up for you.
Use keywords to highlight your femininity. There are 10 words you should use in your profile and/or try to use in a conversation you have. The words are as follows, listed in order of descending importance: sweet, ambitious, thoughtful, spontaneous, physically fit, funny, outgoing, optimistic, hard-working, passionate. As a man, let me tell you this: the most important word out of those to include in a conversation/on your profile is the word sweet. Men like women that act sweet. It's what most (99%) of us want.
Don't act stupid You are trying to attract a future boyfriend/husband. You want to sound like an adult. Don't act immature. Don't be stupid. Follow the news, check the weather daily, understand what's going on in the world, at least at a basic level. Have something to talk about. This will help you come across as a cultivated woman. In addition to exchanging pleasantries, talk about your hobbies, if the chance comes up. If you don't know what to talk about regarding your hobbies/interests, think about it before time.
Don't act (too) smart. Alternatively, don't act as if you're a know-it-all; no man or woman I have ever met likes interacting with someone who behaves like a know-it-all. You are meeting a man that you want to be your boyfriend/potential husband. This isn't a job interview. You're not trying to impress them with your resume. I imagine it's harsh for women to hear this, but most men don't care that much about your education. Sure, a college-educated woman is definitely a plus, but your looks and personality matters much more. Think of it this way: you'll "pass" the "job interview" with this man by coming across as sweet, feminine, pleasant, and as interesting person. You'll fail by trying to flaunt your GPA and career experience.
Dress appropriately. This applies to meeting someone in person, and for your profile picture. If you wear jean short-shorts that are ripped on the bottom, and a low cut sleeveless shirt, I'm going to make a judgment about you. If you wear a modest dress, I'm going to make a different, much better judgment about you. Go talk to someone like /u/PhantomDream09 who is into women's fashion and get her advice. I know what I like to see, but I have no idea what the different types of clothing are called. One thing I will suggest is that you dress feminine. Wear a skirt. Wear leggings. Wear a dress. Wear a blouse. (Not all at the same time of course). The reason you want to dress feminine is because you'll get more attention from men, which means you'll have more to choose from, which means you'll be able to get a higher-value man.
Smile. I'm going to let you in on a little-secret. Fair warning, it is an incredibly misogynistic piece of advice. Are you ready for it? Ok, here goes--if you smile, men will like you more. Now, I know that this is incredibly hurtful to your feelings; why should you women adhere to the patriarchal standards that you must constantly be happy? Well, simply put, you should do this because it ends up helping you in the long run.

BinarySolar · 2015-04-13T01:22:27+00:00

Don't get bummed out by the junk messages, girls/women are flooded on dating websites... keep reading and you will get a few well thought messages.

Sometimes I look online for LTR material dates and I have a keen sense who is LTR material or not (granted this is subjective and based my own preference). Basically it boils down to if they are in party mode or not, if she has a life direction, if she can convey being sexy without coming off as sluty, if she speaks in correct English and uses correct grammer (shows that she takes herself seriously and 'iz nott a chiald'), and generally speaking, she is well rounded and cultured.

I_am_quite_nervous · 2015-04-12T20:37:01+00:00

I don't think what you put in your profile matters much. Go on lots of dates with many different men who have high SMV and don't sleep with them until you are in a committed relationship.

Littleknownfacts · 2015-04-12T00:11:39+00:00

I met my current so on okcupid, a year and 4 months and going strong! The best thing I can think of is to fill in all of the sections of the profile in a unique way, avoid clichés at all costs. If you need help with that I'd suggest checking out r/okcupid, they do critiques and advice (and they are good for a laugh). I would also suggest not answering any of the sex oriented questions, from personal experience, even if they can't see your answer (because they haven't answered that question or because you set it to private) that still get a certain impression just because you did answer it.

FatHat · 2015-04-12T18:53:36+00:00

As a guy that tries to write something unique when I find a girl I might like, I've run into a lot are profiles that are way too vague to really farm a conversation starter from. There's a lot of "I love to laugh" (who doesn't?) and "my family is super important to me". Those aren't bad things, but.. I can't do anything with that. It's too general, so anything I say is going to sound generic. One rather practical idea that's come out of the pickup community is the idea of having some piece of flair that a person can use to start a conversation. (IE, like a tatoo or an interesting piece of clothing). Same thing applies to a profile.. it doesn't hurt to dangle a few conversational threads that an interested party can grab.

There's a rule in comedy that specific is better than general. I think the same thing applies to profiles. Better to say that you like shakespeare and musicals than that you're into theatre, for instance.

Title	How to attract LTR-material via online dating
Author	MixedBrit205
Upvotes	9
Comments	49
Date	April 11, 2015 9:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/329r6a/how_to_attract_ltrmaterial_via_online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-attract-ltr-material-via-online-dating.85310 https://theredarchive.com/post/85310

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