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scottishredpill
[–]Thors_Cock 33 points34 points35 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
David Thoreau said it:
Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]rapscallionx -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
lolol you got downvoted.
[–]lepies_pegao 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
haters are gonna hate.. lol
[–]rapscallionx 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's just funny cause your comment wasn't innocuous at all. they were just like "FUCK THAT GUY* /downvote.
[–]pcadrian20 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Everything in this article matches my experience. I used to spend so much time pouting about not being happy, being depressed about not getting any dates, that whole spiel. Then I started working on different goals, improving myself, and all that jazz, and boom - happiness just kinda materialized out of those experiences. I've realized happiness is just a side effect of me working towards my goals. That's the secret.
[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well said. And furthermore, the real irony about being sad or depressed over lack of success with women is that actually being successful with women doesn't cure depression or make you happy.
You have to be a happy and self fulfilled person first. That's the only way to enjoy being with a woman once you find one. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship, regardless of the type of relationship (marriage, ltr, or fuck buddy) you're after.
Ive seen so many guys, just because of my profession, who came into some money and for the first time in their lives they get a girl. They start out the way you described yourself; depressed. But they end up miserable after seemingly getting everything they'd hoped for.
Being happy attracts exactly the kind of women you want - those that you can share your happiness with. It also allows you to avoid the kind that would just use you and suck your happiness away
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pcadrian 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL yes. I'm currently working on improving my game, cause I'm nowhere near the level that some of these guys are at.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Happiness = self-actualization
It can elude us later in life if we misidentify the source of our past happiness as comfort, productivity, approval, lack of responsibility, uncontrollable life circumstances, etc.
[–]orographic 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Edwin Locke did a lot of great work in psychology and pioneered goal setting theory. I recommend you take a look.
[–]gg_s 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you have a specific work to recommend as a starting point?
[–]thewrightstuff88 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Basically it's like a woman saying she wants the nice guy but goes for the opposite. We can't think about happiness and act accordingly, it's really a feeling, that we have to experience in the moment to truly appreciate it. Essentially we're hamstering.
BUT, we should also remember our memories which have a tendency to bring out emotions in us, because that's what we felt when we had the associative experience, such as sadness when someone close passes away, or happiness when we remember a big accomplishment like our first paycheck.
We can and can't think about and experience happiness but it all depends on the context
[–]nathanisfat 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you want to be happier, smile more.
[–]CokedUpArmenian 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
this guy right here.
[–]coreyfs 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is exactly what I needed to read today.
[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it’s achieving a difficult long-term goal that does [make us happy]
I could not agree more. Having something is nice but transitory. Yet pursuing and (hopefully) achieving something seems to be more of a permanent increase in happiness. And it's not necessarily the memory of the process, but rather the comfort in the knowledge that you tried something, and gave it your all. You regret that which you do not try more than that which you try and fail.
Slightly off-topic, but that's why in my opinion I'm much happier spending money on hobbies than objects (except objects to further your hobby!). "Money can't buy happiness" is b.s. to me - if I spend money on something which I can also push and excel at (e.g. a hobby such as cooking or martial arts) I am actually quite happy. This definitely goes back to pursuing something and achieving something.
[–]CokedUpArmenian 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I really disagree with the author. you don't have to just 'live in the moment', you can train yourself to have that emotion. you don't have to wait to become happy, or do things that should make you happy. you know what happiness feels like, so just feel it. just copy it. it feels the same.
you don't need an external stimuli to make you feel, you are not a slave to your emotions. granted I know this is veering on the edge of sociopathy, but seriously; think to what you feel like when you laugh and are truly 'happy'. you can train yourself to do the same thing, as you can with any emotion.
I think you are confusing happiness with attitude.
"True" happiness is a neurochemical response to external stimulus. We cannot control the response but we can control the stimulus, which is the point of the post. We cannot will ourselves into a state of perceived happiness. That's delusion and the death of all motivation.
In terms of training ourselves to decouple attitude and demeanor from emotional state, your post is spot on.
Blog posts about happiness have helped approximately 0 people in the history of the Internet. They give you an ephemeral sense of productivity when you're reading them which evaporates as soon as you close the page.
[–]superangelo64 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This article might be on to something. The more I think about the more I realize that I never think of 'being happy' when setting goals. I just think of shit I want and work towards it.
I'm way more put together than most people I know who quote all that feel-good drivel about 'everyone deserving to be happy!'. The ones who usually say they are 'happy' are complete train wrecks.
Happiness is a byproduct. I wonder if people are actually stupid enough to believe they are entitled to and can achieve some state of constant bliss.
I don't always go around with a constant smile on my face, but it doesn't mean I'm upset. It's kind of funny because a few weeks ago a bunch of coworkers (mostly nosy chicks) wanted to have an 'intervention' because they thought something was 'wrong' with me. No, you hens, I've just been busy doing WORK.
[+]j_arbuckle2012 -14 points-13 points-12 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This isn't red pill. We aren't here to talk about what makes people happy. We're here to discuss mating strategy.
[–]TRP Vanguardscottishredpill[S] 16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
To me, it's part of being Red Pill. You are more than welcome to downvote.
[–]SpecialFester 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I couldn't disagree with him more. The main part of an effective mating strategy seems to be "be confident." This points out the elusiveness of that thing but does offer an actionable mindset to do that difficult thing. Achieve something you care about that requires not caring to achieve it.
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[–]Thors_Cock 33 points34 points35 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]rapscallionx -5 points-4 points-3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]lepies_pegao 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rapscallionx 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pcadrian20 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pcadrian 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]orographic 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gg_s 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thewrightstuff88 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nathanisfat 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CokedUpArmenian 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]coreyfs 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CokedUpArmenian 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gg_s 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]superangelo64 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]j_arbuckle2012 -14 points-13 points-12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP Vanguardscottishredpill[S] 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SpecialFester 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link