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[/r/Relationships] Entitled Girl Offered $9.99 WalMart Engagement Ring, 'Shitty' Proposal. Hmmm.

_whistler
December 18, 2013
0 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Title [/r/Relationships] Entitled Girl Offered $9.99 WalMart Engagement Ring, 'Shitty' Proposal. Hmmm.
Author

_whistler
Upvotes 0
Comments 24
Date December 18, 2013 3:11 PM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1t665d/rrelationships_entitled_girl_offered_999_walmart/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/rrelationships-entitled-girl-offered-999-walmart.232033
https://theredarchive.com/post/232033
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Comments

[–]Pink_acetaminophen 20 points21 points22 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm trying to look at both of their sides but this is messed up on the guy's part. This girl is living with him, in love with him, putting up with whatever he does for three years, wants to be with him for the rest of her life and she doesn't even care about getting a ring. The ring is not a measure of love, it's only a status symbol for the girl. It shows all her friends and family that this guy has money to take care of her and all of those self esteem boosting things about how much he loves her and in a way shows how much effort he's symbolically putting into obtaining her. If he proposed to her with no ring and told her that the piece of metal isn't important in their relationship he would be right and I'd be on his side because who cares about a ring when somebody's offering their whole life to you. However giving her the ring throws her in the competition with all the other girls with rings with her gross kids' ring and it's embarrassing. If anybody can find the video of Patrice O'Neal talking about how he gave his fiance her ring you'd see what I'm talking about.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the guy wanted to end it and get away from marriage. It's a bold move Cotton, let's see if it pays off.

[+]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal -32 points-31 points-30 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

What did she buy him?

Oh, that is right...

[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[+]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal -21 points-20 points-19 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If it really was about money

It is not about the money, yet much time is spent discussing cost.

Everything the same, but he spent $100,000 on the ring? Different result, I wager. So it is about the money. If that is her yardstick, okay, she can put whatever conditions on her attachment she wants.

But don't tell me it is not about the money, when so much time is spent talking about money.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

it's "about the money" in the sense that i bet if he spent like $100-$200 bucks he'd be in the clear. that's the difference between buying a piece of plastic VS an actual ring.

I am against showering women with undeserved gifts and also very anti spend lots of money on a wedding. but you should probably put forth more effort then stopping at wal-mart.

[+]_whistler[S] -25 points-24 points-23 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah...I love the smell of a Princess Brigade in the morning...

[+]_whistler[S] -35 points-34 points-33 points 12 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

I generally dislike posting 'examples' of bad behavior like this - it typically engenders a circlejerk of 'what a beta' or 'entitled bitch' comments - but this particular one struck me as a bit interesting.

On the one hand: her TL;DR is

bf proposed in a shitty way, made me feel like shit, and tried to pacify me with a $9 wal-mart engagement ring.

This is a prime example of the subconscious entitlement of the contemporary girl. He suggested marriage in a way that didn't fit her inner fantasy, for which he is guilty of 'making her' feel like shit. She saw the offer of a ring that was below her standards as an attempt to pacify her, rather than the man in the scenario adhering to custom in a way he could accept.

On the other hand: that's a pretty shitty way to treat the girl you (apparently) want to marry. I see no need for elaborate proposals that involve acrobats in the park or anything, but I can't help think it's understandable she'd be a bit offended at this particular execution.

As for the ring: if I should ever decide to propose to a girl, I think I'd select a ring that looks a bit nicer. No need to spend thousands or even hundred of dollars on it, but if you choose to bestow a ring on your prospective wife, perhaps stop to consider that the gifts we give reflect on our own character. A thoughtlessly acquired, shoddily made gift speaks volumes more about the man who gives it than it does about the woman to whom it is given.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I really, really hope all of you have seen her update. This guy was a piece of SHIT. It was NOT about the ring, or any sense of entitlement. I mean, he timed her showers and made her pay extra if she went over - and this is while SHE was paying almost all of their living expenses even though his salary was much higher.

She forgot her wallet for lunch one day so he paid - ONCE - bitched about it the whole way home, then gave her an itemized receipt of what she owed him for lunch with interest.

You guys over here jump to the most ridiculous conclusions. You don't actually read the entire posts, you make zero effort to find out the ACTUAL SITUATION, and you just assume if it's a woman posting, it's her fault. Full stop.

To be fair this is probably one of the most glaring examples of TRP's special brand of stupidity, but still. I mean, Jesus. This one isn't even questionable. The guy was a selfish asshole.

ETA: Just switch the genders in this situation. Pretend it was HER who timed HIS showers even though HE was paying the bills. Pretend it was HER who bitched about paying for lunch ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME then handed HIM an itemized bill with interest before the day was out. Would you really still be able to scream about what a materialistic bitch she is? Of course not. You'd be on a rampage to fucking flog her.

[+]redpillshadow -20 points-19 points-18 points 12 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

We are reading her recollection of the event.

That is what she expected

I always daydreamed about the act of the proposal, that we might go to some beautiful location such as a serene lake or something else romantic (what can I say, I'm a sap). Every time I would day-dream about that moment he asks me to to marry him, I get a little teary-eyed and emotional because I love him.

Nothing can live up to that. And it is pretty clear that the man isn't the main part in her fantasy and exchangeable. I wonder what crazy shit is in her mind for the wedding, he is in for a treat if it goes that far.

I don't know if it did happen that way or what his motivation was, but I would really like to hear his side of the story.

[+]_whistler[S] -12 points-11 points-10 points 12 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

I would really like to hear his side of the story.

Agreed.

[+]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal -32 points-31 points-30 points 12 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

Probably sounds something like this:

"I am working 60 hours a week, trying to make something of myself, so I can provide her and our kids a future. Sometimes, when I try to do things I think will make her happy, she goes cold on me and gives me the silent treatment. She tells me nothing is wrong, but I know something is. I am trying so hard, but she just never explains her moodiness to my or what is going on."

Sound familiar, young guys?

[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't worry about these assholes. You have a vagina, therefore every single thing you say will be wrong. It's impossible for these troglodytes to understand that not all women are after their money. It's very, VERY obvious they haven't read most of your posts and it's quite clear they cannot separate the ring from the actual problem.

[+]_whistler[S] -19 points-18 points-17 points 12 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

Oh hey, OP. Since you're here, care to respond to my initial assessment of your part in all this? I'll re-quote it below.

This is a prime example of the subconscious entitlement of the contemporary girl. He suggested marriage in a way that didn't fit her inner fantasy, for which he is guilty of 'making her' feel like shit. She saw the offer of a ring that was below her standards as an attempt to pacify her, rather than the man in the scenario adhering to custom in a way he could accept.

That being said, I agree that this was a pretty shitty proposal. Not having his side of the story, however, it's hard to get an accurate picture.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[+]_whistler[S] -19 points-18 points-17 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're interested - and not merely trolling yourself - I think you may find otherwise. Have a look around at everything here, not just the rage and venting that tends to jump out violently.

I, for one, am always interested in what motivates a person, man or woman.

[+]_whistler[S] -16 points-15 points-14 points 12 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

I have a question that may help clarify to me the reason this was the final straw, as you say.

You've been with this man for about three years. Why was it that you stayed with him this long? As you look back and see that you were the giver and he the taker, could you also look back and tell me what it was about him that drew you to him, to stay with him in this relationship?

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[+]_whistler[S] -28 points-27 points-26 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but that's not really a descriptive answer. You don't, despite what Saint Disney tells us, simply fall in love with people at random. There is always a catalyst (attraction) that sets you up to fall in love, and after that there are the specific traits that inspire that love to continue.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[+]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal -19 points-18 points-17 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Interestingly, people often seem to feel it is perfectly okay to impose upon men expectations of romantic expressions/actions people have seen or read in idealized media creations. Sound oddly familiar, but in a looking glass sort of way?

That is because people will, at the same time, scorn and heap contempt on people who would impose on women expectations of SEXUAL expressions/actions people have seen or read in pornography, which is similarly just an idealized media creation.

[+]_whistler[S] -8 points-7 points-6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Figured I'd post something for anyone showing up here based on the OP's update in r/relationships.

Hey everybody. I appreciate all the messages of concern showing up in my inbox. I realize you all want to make sure I understand that I 'was wrong' in my original assessment, and that I'm 'a piece of shit' and 'stupid' and so on and so forth. That's cool, I'll take it under advisement. Meanwhile, I'd like to direct you to read the original comment I made after posting a link to the RedditLog of the original post. You'll find it somewhere down there, buried beneath the mindless downvoting onslaught of the howling snowflake brigade. If you're interested, you could also find a conversation I had with OP when she put on her big girl pants and came to chat with us over here. I bowed out after I couldn't get a decent answer to my question, but it should still be down there beneath the downvotes, as well.

As far as OP's update, maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe that's what really happened, and maybe that's all that happened. It doesn't really matter; I stand by my initial assessment of her attitude, regardless of her now-ex's behaviors.

Happy brigading, snowflakes!

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