One-itis help

bankruptedcasino · 2014-07-29T19:04:35+00:00

I took a pretty hit after that and disappeared for long time, focusing on my self with fitness,career, red pill etc.

Good. That's what you're supposed to do: disappear, focus on yourself.

I've had many women since then but didn't keep any around.

If the two of you live in the same city, or have similar friends, this no doubt got back to her somehow.

While were broken up I never reached out to her once , a year or so past and she reached out to me and we met for a casual get together for drinks, nothing ever came out of it.

Well-executed alpha attitude. Ex's get the same treatment as a woman on the street: You don't care, and it shows. She has mountains to climb before you're impressed. You're aloof and indifferent. But you won't turn down the chance to be seen in public in the company of an attractive woman.

What's awesome about your post thus far is the absence of any indication of bitterness or anger. Conveying bitterness or anger to any ex-girlfriend betrays the alpha attitude that will make an ex-girlfriend crawl back to you.

I'm sidetracking here, but basically when you see an ex-girlfriend again (at her invitation or out in public), you should react the same way that you would if you fired an employee for insubordination and saw him/her out in public. Say hi and treat them with dignity and respect, but generally have an attitude that you couldn't care one iota about what they say or do next. Your expression is bland, your body language indifferent. They are as inconsequential to you as a stranger coming up in the grocery aisle and asking where the cucumbers are. Trust me, that level of indifference toward a woman you saw naked and thrust your member into for two years will fry her brain.

She kept sending me texts here and there throughout the months and we talked here and there about meaningless shit. I know she had a boyfriend when she was reaching out to me but I never said anything and always kept it casual.

She's only sending you texts when 1) her current boyfriend and her are fighting, 2) she is not receiving the emotional satisfaction that she requires from her current boyfriend, or 3) her current boyfriend is out of town or gone on vacation or is on business and she's afraid that she's going to be cheated on and so she reaches out to the one person (or persons) that she knows will respond to her right away. These are validation tactics. I would not take them as signs that she wants to get back together.

I miss this woman.

Uh oh. Ex's are ex's for a reason. You've also been broken up for three years. Three

The last text I received from her was saying something along the lines of her missing the movies we used to watch together.

Now I'm thinking her current boyfriend or plate doesn't provide her with emotional satisfaction. He's likely working at the office all day every day or he's pulling random disappearing acts and getting into situations where he can cheat. My guess is that he's started ditching movie night with the gf to go out to bars and clubs with his boys and instructing her to stay home. She then muses wistfully at past relationships where this wasn't a problem.

I was thinking since her birthday is around the corner to drop off a gift bag with these movies with a card.

Do this and I guarantee the following will happen. First, she'll give you a token thank you text or phone call telling you how much she appreciated your gift, how thoughtful it was, how sweet you are, and she may even tell you that she made a mistake in leaving you and that she misses you. (Worst-case scenario: she says any girl would be lucky to have you, which is the kiss of death)

However, even if she says she misses you or that she wants you to get back together, expect radio silence after about three days. That's right, no matter what blabber comes out of her mouth about your gift, she's not going to come crawling back because you not only jumped when she made a slight mention of the movies you used to watch together, but went the additional step of dropping the damn things off at her house. At first, she'll be flattered and honored. Then, she'll brush it off as creepy as she hamsters away that you were waiting for three years to show her that you never forgot about her, that you never stopped missing her, and that you always pined for her. That will be enough for her to be like, "Okay, I've got closure now with him. I can move on to the next guy."

Sorry, bud. I don't make the rules. But that's how girls think.

If she reaches out and something comes out of it great and if it doesn't that's fine as well.

See above. She'll reach out to say thanks, but nothing will come out of it.

I just want to have closure that I've tried.

You should already have closure. You gave two years of your life to this woman. Two out of, what, 75? That's almost 3% of your life. May not sound like a lot when we're talking about investment returns, but 3% of your life is a big fucking deal. You've already tried. You probably tried your guts out. She. Left. You. Whatever you tried, she didn't want.

The closure should have come from the dumping. Instead of "I miss this woman", you should have said to yourself, "This broad doesn't want me anymore?! She just made the biggest mistake of her life. And, aw, I feel bad for her. She doesn't even know it yet! But she will one day. And that's gonna suck for her."

I want some opinions on this situation and perhaps some tips on what to write on the card.

A card?! No.

You have two choices. Go direct, or blow her off. I'd personally blow her off. If any of my ex-girlfriends sent me a text that read, "I miss the movies we used to watch together", I'd ignore it completely or respond with, "lol". No matter what she said after "lol", I'd ignore it.

If you really, really miss this girl, and you think you can beat the 90+% chance that she's going to dump you again, your response should be the following:

"Then come over to my house tomorrow at 9 and watch one."

If she replies with a yes, you're golden. If she replies with anything less than an enthusiastic yes, your response should be silence or, "lol".

How do most ex's get back together? Anyone? That's right: fucking. You must lay a path to quick and immediate fucking. No romance, no wine-and-dine, no emotional attachment. In fact, when you're about to throw it in, say this line that's always worked for me when going back to plunder previous snatch, "Hey, no strings attached, right?" She'll agree. Then watch her slave over herself to reacquire commitment from you. When she tries to extract more commitment from you, tell her you're not going to fall for her games this time, and that you need to see real change from when you were last together. She'll acquiesce to whatever demands you put on her then.

For an added bonus, tell her that you're glad the two of you are hanging out again but that you're seeing someone else (though it's not exclusive). When pressed, just duck out the way girls do: "It's complicated. I'm sorry, babe, I just don't know what I want right now. But thanks for being so understanding." Give her a small peck on the lips, tell her you have to get going, and then watch as your phone never goes silent again.

DankPanties · 2014-07-29T19:26:07+00:00

(She left me)

+

I was thinking since her birthday is around the corner to drop off a gift bag with these movies with a card. I wanted to reach out to her this way.

+

I know she had a boyfriend when she was reaching out to me

=

Congratulations you're her bitch ass beta orbiter. Dude, reach down in your pants and grab your balls and say I'm a man damn it and this shit stops today. Do not give this girl a goddamn thing and cut her out of your life pronto. Cold turkey. For fuck's sake.

zendeavor · 2014-07-29T18:48:15+00:00

skip the gift. burn the card. find a new best friend. replace her before her birthday. do not acknowledge and validate her for the occasion. the day after, when you check your messages and see her ask why you didn't wish her a happy day, don't apologize. don't give an excuse. offer belated birthday sex. then call your new girl.

AlphaXpipubs · 2014-07-29T18:04:44+00:00

Old girlfriends that reach out are still testing the water to see if you have become more Alpha, or stayed the same or gotten worse.

I have been with many ex's - they always want to come back, and only one actually became a second relationship - that still crashed and burned.

If you want this girl, stop talking about old times and start being fun - when she text you use cocky & funny responses, mistake things she said for her wanting dirty sex with you and only text her 2 times for every 3 she text you.

I.E. Her: I miss those old movies we use to watch

You: I know, you always came hard

Her: Oh my god - you are so bad

You: you are only allowed to call me god when naked

Enjoy!

ogalvan · 2014-07-29T18:48:11+00:00

She might also be trying to get you to orbit her or to be able to jump ship if her relationship crashes and burns. I suggest you stay out of contact, remember the relationship ended for a reason.

FortunateBum · 2014-07-30T05:00:08+00:00

This is how insidious oneitis is. You fucking know you have oneitis for this girl and yet here you are allowing yourself to be tortured by your illness.

No.

What's the cure for oneitis? Nexting and plates. That's it. Those are the only correct answers.

If she throws herself at you, maybe consider fucking her and then kicking her out. No other contact. That's it. Although since your case is so bad I'd recommend no contact for the rest of your life.

There is never any closure. There is only the slow ebb of pain as the years pass. If you're lucky, after a decade you'll only think about her once a week.

Misteralcala · 2014-07-30T02:49:25+00:00

She was such a good friend that she left you. The happier person in a relationship is the one that has less to lose. I guess she was much happier than you. Funny how that works.

There are over three billion women on the planet. Why would you want to go backwards and try and rehash one you failed with? You seriously need to read the sidebar materials and realize you were a stepping stone for her. She got with you, had fun for a bit and when she was done with you, she discarded you like a candy wrapper and moved on to something she thought was better.

The thing is, women like to have it all. She keeps dangling herself in front of you in hopes of keeping you as an orbiter. A best friend who will give her time and energy and listen to her ramble on about the guy she's fucking and the guys she thinks are cute, because you're such a good friend! Now is that what you really want? To be stuck in hell as a perma-friend to a woman you can't get out of your blood?

I've been there before, as have a great number of us here at TRP, and it never goes well for us men. What I learned to do was sever all ties. Cut out the cancer of oneitis before it eats you alive and leaves you a hollowed out husk. Cut all communication, lose her number, DO NOT answer her texts or calls, delete and block her from social media or better yet, delete that shit altogether. Just tell yourself she got hit by a bus and died instantly on impact, had a closed casket funeral and mourn for a week or two. Then move the fuck on. She had ZERO problem ditching you. Have some dignity and self-respect and do the same.

Realize your friendship will be a constant reminder to what you can't have (and still want) and your stoic willingness to just be friends with her will only lower you to orbiter status in her eyes, without chance of ever climbing out of friendzone hell. You think that by being nice and giving her your time and attention you can earn a place in her heart? Nope. Read the sidebar and unplug, my friend.

Martelll · 2014-07-31T15:16:14+00:00

You guys are fucking awesome, I'm glad I came on here and asked, thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it more than you guys will ever know

Title	One-itis help
Author	Martelll
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	July 29, 2014 5:57 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2c299j/oneitis_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/one-itis-help.18632 https://theredarchive.com/post/18632

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