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[–]PlusGoody5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good post. That divorce risk is highly manageable through wife selection is consistently ignored by many posters.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
OP, that's a great post, but there's no difference between having a 12% chance to lose half your shit and pay alimony for nothing versus a 58% chance to lose half your shit and pay alimony for nothing.
The risk doesn't matter when the reward is zero, children without marriage remains the best option.
[–]Atavisionary[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually agree with you, but I find the blog writers information and perspective interesting.
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Marry a woman with brains and a good job. (Then it isn't just "your shit" or "your money" being spent) Don't let her stop working when children are born. Alimony problem solved.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
"Career" women are typically rotten for several reasons, their old age & high partner count being the foremost.
Marry a woman with brains and a good job.
Marriage only confers tax benefits to low class or predominantly single-income households. If I were to marry a fellow middle class (150K+) earner we would actually end up paying more in taxes upon getting married and filing jointly.
Don't let her stop working when children are born.
Haha, ah, yeah. Right. I can't even count how many times I've heard "equal" marriages where the mother mysteriously ended up "getting fired" or "let go" as soon as she gave birth to a child and being "unable to find a job" afterwards.
Alimony problem solved.
Very few marriages consist of those where the man earns less, and most of those are very short lived.
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The divorce rate goes down with advanced education and age (dropping even lower from mid-20's). You can find a person with a career or a job she is passionate about in her mid-20's and contrary to popular opinion many women aren't out riding the CC. Your woman can make less than you and it will still protect you from huge alimony payments if it were to fail. As for the mysterious quit/firing use dread game to put that to an end.
There is a lot of chatter about alimony being a given, it isn't, especially long-term alimony with a short marriage.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
divorce rate goes down with advanced education and age (dropping even lower from mid-20's)
True, but divorce rate remains lowest when you are her first and only partner (get em young).
contrary to popular opinion many women aren't out riding the CC.
Unless you take a girl's virginity you can't be sure of her partner count.
alimony being a given, it isn't, especially long-term alimony with a short marriage.
Depends on the state. In nazi states like California, higher earner pays lawyer/court fees of both people involved in a divorce - which forces you to either bend over unfavorably or drag out the divorce ...from your own pocket.
You make great points about risk mitigation, but where's the fucking benefit to it?
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Traditional women are not going to have children out of wedlock. So you want a traditional RPW? Most of them are going to want marriage and the benefits that come with it.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's your assumption, I personally know over a dozen examples of the opposite with happy families that are still together with their kids about to go to high school and never got married, which is the route I'll be taking in life.
You can have a loyal, yielding partner and children without marriage. Or you can risk divorce rape. Your choice.
Now that I think about it, I know a lot more happy 10yr+ couples that aren't married than those that are.
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is certainly each couple's choice but there are certain benefits that married couples get that unmarried couples are not entitled to. For instance- FMLA. That has come into play in my short (so far) marriage twice. If we weren't married I'm not sure what we would have done since we wouldn't have been able to take the time off from work for each other and both of us have needed the other to take a month or more off for caregiving. Neither of our jobs had provisions to allow us to take off unpaid time and based on the emergent need of the surgeries we couldn't wait until our vacation accrual regenerated. Neither of us have parents that live nearby or family that could take that kind of time off (and really you want your spouse around rather than your parents).
As far as "divorce rape" that isn't a concern because we make almost identical salaries and we both have good pension/retirement plans.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As far as "divorce rape" that isn't a concern because
...Because [reason X], [Y] and [Z]. And then you get a female, BP or feminist judge. And then you learn.
Marriage 2.0 violates Briffault's law: you make a sacrifice in the present for a promise of ...something. in the future.
Honestly, I get your point. For some people marriage works. But you can only say it's worked out for the better when you are on your death bed, with your loved one by your side. I wish you the best & that it works out, but saying that undertaking a risk as huge as marriage for the ability to take some unpaid leave is debased at best.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was an excellent blog article. One thing I'd point out about the failure of young marriages is that it has less to do with maturity and more to do with SMV. Women between 18 and 25 are at the very peak of their SMV and they know it, so they are more likely to consider "upgrading". This is a factor of modern society, with no-fault divorce. Prior to the ease of female-initiated divorce, humans married (or pair bonded, if you like) young for most of their history, as far as we can tell, without the same threat of divorce.
[–]chronmetron1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My wife is in the lowest percentile on all of these with the exception of religion. I realize now what a raw deal marriage is, but at least the odds are in my favor. Better keep my frame or those favorable odds won't mean shit.
[–]martypete0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Cohabitation (p. 18):
Did not cohabitate: 43% Cohabitated with husband before marriage: ~55%
Can anyone explain this? It seems like it would be the other way around....
[–]aptway1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Rollo explains it pretty well:
http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/06/shacking-up/
[–]MyRedAccount0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
... my main(& currently only) woman is making me a fancy chicken in wine dish. I can't remember the last time I had to clean my abode off of the top of my head(I think it was a few months ago and I had her do most of the work), or the last I had to do the laundry. She does these things for me because she likes serving me, and having me tell her what to do. A lot of women like to be led, if you can't figure out how to do that it's not their fault. In fact, so long as what you're telling them makes sense, and they know you're not an idiot & in their tribe/friendly, most women will generally just obey simple orders.
[–]2mbillion0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would argue that cohabition before marriage really just pisses on what a marriage means. What I am saying is why would you bother getting married if you already had her living in. The other side of this coin is that the female does not have this big cliff associated with her marriage. She is already a live in. Leaving was always an option before marriage and the cohabitation thing only makes it seem more normal to leave after
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[–]PlusGoody5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ6 points7 points8 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atavisionary[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouchu54130 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chronmetron1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]martypete0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]aptway1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MyRedAccount0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2mbillion0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link