Started wearing the red lenses over a year ago. Progress was slow at first and then proceeded in chunks. I’ve made massive gains in a few areas recently, most important being frame. I’ve adjusted my perspective and started to see myself as the Ace of Spades in my life. I’ve stopped worrying about what other people think. I can certainly consider it but there is never any stress about it. With my LTR I’ve stopped worrying about losing her and her reactions have been noticeable. I’ve also put in a lot of work in the gym and am getting pretty close to my goal, which means it’s time to set new ones.

My question is if some of my actions might undermine my progress without my knowledge. Like, can I do something totally within my own frame but have it come off as a beta move. Second question: does it even matter?

Examples – I’m not really sure if I’m keeping up with the 2/3 effort ratio.

She asks me more often for help than i ask her – getting things stored at heights she can’t reach, helping her carry out the trash, etc. She also will ask me to stop at stores that are on my way home from work. It’s not frequent and it’s always little things. She shows restraint if she thinks it’s burdensome.

Yesterday she called me because she forgot her office keys at home. She works there every Sunday for a year now and this is the first time it happened. Although my initial plan was to stay home for a little while longer, I switched it around so I could bring them to her. I was already going to that same neighborhood anyways, so I just rearranged my plans to go earlier and help her out. I achieved my goals and did someone else a solid in the process.

In the grand scheme of things, I’m pretty damn sure I do more for her overall than she does for me. But I don’t even think about it. It’s a cultural thing. I was raised around a lot of Japanese families (due to my religion). In that culture there’s just a sense of duty and helping others. I don’t go around offering things to people, but if someone asks something of you, you do it if you can. I don’t expect anything in return but I don’t tolerate moochers.

She never asks of me anything outrageous. It never takes much time. We spend basically the same amount of money on each other. I’m not out taking care of her while she’s at home being lazy. I just don’t ask for as much as she does. I’m a self-sufficient person. I don’t find myself asking others for shit very often. But when I do ask, she delivers.

In the other aspects of the ratio I’m pretty much in line with 2/3s effort. I certainly never texted/talked/emoted as much to begin with, but now I do it even less and she’s trying even harder to get my attention.

So, should I even be thinking about this or could this be sending a signal that significantly hurts my efforts?