This will be a bit lengthy, feel free to skip over it if it is not of interest to you. I would appreciate any feedback positive or negative. I am simply here to understand and improve.

The Situation:

I've been making great efforts in internalizing the red pill concepts however I'm still struggling with oneitis over a girl I used to date. I was her first everything as far as first kiss, bf, sex, etc. She was pure and we had a good dominate/submissive dynamic going and I had her trained well. I didn't realize what I had at the time and was fucking other chicks on the side. Eventually she found out about me fucking a girl I used to date before her who she despised. She broke it off. A couple years go by and we causal start talking again and when she came back into town we hooked up.

After that night we don't talk for about 6 months until I see her again a couple times when we're catching up with our old friends from high school. She seemed to not care about me at all at this point and like an idiot the morning she leaves town I meet up with her and I put it all on the line with her and tell her how we're supposed to be together and I'm the best she's going to get yada yada ya. She was surprised/intrigued to hear it and didn't flat out reject what I was saying but it was left uncertain where we stood.

Again we break contact for close to a year. I reach the conclusion that nothing will happen between us again due to her lack of trust in me. My solution was to find a way to get her to trust me again. I wrote her a letter and we've begun writing back and forth. I felt this was a way to start establishing a rapport with her again in a way other guys aren't (via text, social media, dating sites, etc.) I'm not trying to fit into some mold of what I think she wants, I'm just continuing to do my own thing but keeping in contact with her and if we get to the point of hanging out again I feel that her just being around me again and seeing how I've developed into a man may drawn her back in.

So my question is: Is this just a big waste of my time? Am I completely delusional to think this could workout? There's just so much about her that is me. You can see it today, her personality, her beliefs, hobbies, etc. are mine. She was molded by me.

I understand I'm more than likely suffering from oneitis with this girl. It's not cause I can't get other girls I haven't had a problem with that, they just aren't appealing to me in any way besides sex. I'm very old school with some of my views regarding women in that my wife is my property, her purpose is to tend the house, help with the livestock/crops, mend clothing and bear children. I plan to be a homesteader and require a women that is capable of living that kind of lifestyle which is not any of the women I come across except for this girl in question.