Newbie here, seeking advice on ltr girlfriend becoming more religious. TIA

RPAlternate42 · 2016-10-12T18:20:49+00:00

she can't stay at your place any more.

And that fixes that problem.

She says "we" can't be sexual. You need to frame this as her saying "I" can't be sexual.

If you are not down with a chaste relationship, especially one that previously was, then you can simply say, "it sounds like you have some pretty heavy things to think about and some decisions to make and I hope you figure out what makes you happy." And then give her all of her stuff from your place (since you aren't staying together anyways.)

She takes it as a break-up, or not, but it doesn't stop you, either way, from getting what you want from other women. And don't hide it either, if she comes around knocking again. You are your own man and should not allow her religious jew-guilt to disrupt and dictate how you live your life.

enfier · 2016-10-12T19:19:30+00:00

Hey Man.

I am going to be the resident jew for you here.

Ready?

It doesn't matter that you are Jewish....

You know why??

Because it DIDN'T matter when you were not as religious.

She wants to change the rules of the relationship.

She is being UNILATERAL about it.

If tomorrow she went out and fucked three homeboys from Flatbush, she would also be merely changing the nature of the relationship.

Look, I hear you. You keep hearing from Rabbi how you are supposed to cherish her, and raise her up. How when she is upset, this is merely a reflection of your failures in your covenant with G-d.

Truly , I get it.

But here is the thing. This assumes she is a good, faithful, sexually available woman. They are assuming a true definition of WIFE.

Here is what you have now : a woman, who decided to change the rules without consulting you. This is not the behavior of a good and chaste Jewish woman. If she was fucking you, or close to it, then what ever thoughts she had about it, she did what ever YOU were ok with. If you think about it, these activities were part of the package you were agreeing to when you decided to marry her.

So, lets say you follow this lead. ( First of all, men lead, women follow. That is how the Torah has it. Got it?)

What happens after she has a kid? She says " Dear, beloved Husband, my Moishe, I love you, but now I have decided in the interest of further pursuing my love of G-d, I will study the torah while you figure out how to take care of the kids and also provide for me. Oh , and sex, yes Rabbi says we don't have to do that, so we won't do that. "

What are you going to do then?

InChargeMan · 2016-10-12T20:22:09+00:00

Religious... That's a red flag IMO.

[deleted] · 2016-10-12T20:49:11+00:00

As someone who got married mostly so God would be ok with me having an orgasm, I can tell you it was the worst decision of my life.

The problem is either she or you will get the itch to sow your wild oats in a few years and you'll be miserable. And I can tell you the low n-count thing is bullshit. All the chicks I fucked when I was whoring around had an n-count of 0 before marriage.

Now, if you can become a high value man and keep your body hawt, she probably won't stray.

In any case, I'd figure out if you really want to be orthodox before you get married. My wife was orthodox so I understand some of the angst you feel. Step 1 should be to make a thorough evaluation of your faith. Really consider the possibility that Abraham and Moses weren't real people. After coming to terms with whatever you really, truly believe, step 100 should be marriage.

Chump_No_More · 2016-10-13T17:00:53+00:00

This is a major shit test and a crucial point in the relationship... who's frame will be the dominant one.

It can't be stressed enough that her "unilateral decision making" is a non-negotiable ending of the relationship.

Additionally, the "getting guidance" is a stalling tactic to see if you will fold.

Keep further contact only to the logistics of where and when to resolve the dispute... Otherwise ghost her.

Understand that feminists and the FI are waging a full-out assault on all religious institutions to determine who interprets the will of 'God' and controls the agency of men... Jew, Gentile, does not matter.

Now, I'm not religious (confirmed Pagan) but I frequent Dalrock because he's an excellent statistician and his insights into the FI's invasion of society, most especially with respect to religion, are spot-on.

I can empathize with you poor bastards... religion is just one more point of control that is being used against a man's best interest.

[deleted] · 2016-10-12T17:59:39+00:00

How chaste was she before this revelation?

RuleZeroDAD · 2016-10-12T18:08:56+00:00

We need more. Pre-changes v. post-changes in terms of sexy time. If she went from anal to zero, we need to know. Huge red flag.

If it went from HJ to no HJ due to the wrath of Yahweh, different advice.

Paging Dr. u/Scurvemuch for a Jewish guilt consultation.

enfier · 2016-10-12T18:14:44+00:00

What do you want out of this relationship?

Clearly she wants to get married and she's willing to use sex as a bargaining chip. If it works - what do you think she'll do next time she wants something?

My response would be not to negotiate with a sexual terrorist and break up with her. Don't mention the lack of sex, just cite something vague like "going in different directions" and wish her the best in her life.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2016-10-12T18:17:00+00:00

If she's decided you can't have sex before marriage, that's a huge red flag.

[deleted] · 2016-10-12T18:28:19+00:00

do i stay with her when she can make rapid-fire decisions unilaterally that don't just affect her

A woman can always decide she's not to have sex with you, your relationship status doesn't mean squat.

You are also free to end the relationship rapid-fire and unilaterally.

Where's this relationship going?
Are things getting more serious?

There's not a lot to work with here but my assumption is that it means she's interested in advancing the relationship toward marriage and following her perception of the traditional pathway. At the very least you need to get both of your expectations in line about how you envision marriage and courtship.

Don't just assume "orthodox jewish" means the same lifestyle to each of you. This is part of vetting and compatibility testing. You need to make your self present and active in the process.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-10-13T01:25:31+00:00

I don't know if it is just anger, or her whinny ass is not attractive at all.

Oh HELL NO!

i didn't have a say in the decision making process.

Which means this is a shit test. Nothing more. It may be the mother fucker of all shit tests. You have 3 choices, pass it, fail it, or destroy it.

Hint; Pass= hold frame, stop spending time with her, and get your sexual needs met elsewhere.

Fail = yes dear. It is OK I was not consulted, cuz like, being Jews we don't believe that the man should have any say in a relationship. Right.

Destroy= Bitch, are you serious? This is not even close to acceptable. Try again.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-10-13T01:29:54+00:00

Today is the perfect day for this thread BTW. This woman's got some atoning to do.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-10-13T03:44:02+00:00

Shit test. Stop deering and let her be cute. See other girls.

UEMcGill · 2016-10-13T13:18:47+00:00

Living in the Northeast I've come across my fair share of Orthodox and conservative Jewish girls. I messed around with one and it was always fun when she would suck my cock or let me fuck her in the ass because, "She was saving the rest for her Moshe" she hadn't met yet.

Even religious girls can compartmentalize and hamster their bad behavior. It wasn't really sex because it wasn't my vagina. Meanwhile she would come in gushes when I called her a "dirty whore" Last I heard through the grapevine she met a nice Jewish boy and they are living a traditional life.

No matter what the background, Alpha fucks/Beta Bucks.

In your more conservative lifestyle you need to strive to be the highest level; the alpha provider. I've seen too conservative marriages where the woman still runs the show because the husband delegates his authority to lead away; especially orthodox marriages.

Title	Newbie here, seeking advice on ltr girlfriend becoming more religious. TIA
Author	gottawakeupnow
Upvotes	0
Comments	45
Date	October 12, 2016 5:47 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/575f4r/newbie_here_seeking_advice_on_ltr_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/newbie-here-seeking-advice-on-ltr-girlfriend.207008 https://theredarchive.com/post/207008

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