As my username implies, I'm early in my journey, I've yet to find my way.

I've been going hard on online dating, got over 15 numbers in 3 weeks, set up 12 dates, had 10 of them flake, 1 flake on the second date, and the last is coming over tomorrow to meet my puppy (among other things). My "on paper" SMV is very high, just haven't found my game. Many lessons have been learned. My error SEEMS to be moving to quick towards the meetup before building enough rapport. I at least feel I'm self aware... just not learning as quickly as I'd like.

So met another on OKCupid, exchanged over 10 messages back and forth, her's usually longer, getting into 2-3 paragraph territory. Talked about past terrible dates... she claims some guy wanted her to donate blood on a first date (bullshit), I told her when I was invited to a family dinner on a second date, etc. Mostly banter and rapport building, but not anything sexual in nature... I need work on escalation.

We exchanged numbers and SHE initiates last night. She opened with a question, I answered, a few more back and forth. It's very clear she's putting shit effort into this conversation after a few more messages so I call her out on it. Better assess interest before dealing with another flake.

Me: Are you shy?

Her: No

Her: Don't have a shy bone in my body (shit... probably could have asked for a nude here lol)

Me: OK miss initiate a conversation with me and expect me to lead it (calling her out, but this is fucking weak, I am supposed to lead it and this may sound butthurt... or she's just...)

Her: My conversations usually have more of a flow to them (shit test)

Me: Then show me

Her: I don't think our dichotomy is conducive to that (I think she feels rejection coming and wants to give it first)

Me: And you have the appropriate data to conclude that

(End)

If anything I'll wait 2-3 days and try to open again with something playful.

Considering looks and success, and outsider would put my SMV near twice hers. I'm 6'1" 230 sub 10% making six figures, and she's "curvy" and works in education.

So what lessons to be learned here? I'm guessing one would be scale back and be more aloof, another would be work more towards escalation, only text logistics, and have every message serve to only build attraction. Thoughts?