What was she looking for here?

Kungfukenny1347 · 2017-11-17T19:19:28+00:00

I dunno, I may be over-thinking it. She was a bi-polar bag of >crazy(genuinely diagnosed with BPD, not just hyperbole)

This. Some girls just thrive on drama. ya she probably hamstered it as "he never shows me any passion he doesn't love me enough" but that's because she was a ratchet nutcase who will never be satisfied with any amount of cock in her life (and there will be PLENTY of cock in her life)

Thanks the gods you dodged a bullet, never waste another minute of your mental energy on her

Occams_Stubble · 2017-11-17T20:45:11+00:00

she retorted with 'yes I want you to lose your control sometimes'

Says versus does. If she gets you to lose frame by getting jealous that means she is dominant in the relationship which is momentarily pleasurable and why she thinks she wants you to lose frame. If you do this she then begins looking for a stronger man because in her mind she deserves better.

MattyAnon · 2017-11-17T23:56:04+00:00

'x's BF would be really jealous and confront the guys' etc.

Major red flag. She's trying to get you and someone else to fight so she can fuck the winner. Not necessarily you. You losing is not her concern.

This is a game women play called "Let's you and him fight". Notice that she can't lose, and it's a very enjoyable process for her. Women who think this way are very dangerous to you for obvious reasons.

'yes I want you to lose your control sometimes'

She wants you to get angry and fight for her. Don't fall into her trap, obviously.

Yes, women love you to get a little jealous. I'm on the extreme-non-jealousy end of things, so I sprinkle a little bit of "protective feelings" towards them occasionally which of course they love and are pleasantly surprised by.

She wants to feel protected... which is semi reasonable. But this shouldn't need to escalate into you confronting other guys for just being guys. Fending off suitors is her job, not yours.

'yes I want you to lose your control sometimes' / This is contrary to RP thinking where self-control/frame is King,

No conflict here.

What women want and what men should do are not the same thing. She would also prefer your pay packet to be directly under her control, doesn't mean you should do it.

. She was a bi-polar bag of crazy

Ahhhhhhh ok.

I stand by my analysis above - more sane (less insane) women are not as bad as this one was.

Avoid BPD like the fucking plague. They are damaged, dangerous and not worth it.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-11-18T00:38:19+00:00

'x's BF would be really jealous and confront the guys' etc.

Translation:

A. "Let's you and him fight"

B. "X's bf values her way more than you value me because you don't care that guys send me dick pics."

She was a bi-polar bag of crazy(genuinely diagnosed with BPD, not just hyperbole)

if anybody has any opinion's or thought's on what she was trying to achieve or on how I did/should have acted, I'd be keen to hear.

So you're asking, "Hey, what was the 'right answer' to give the genuinely nutty girl?"

The right answer was to bail as soon as you found out that she was genuinely nutty.

Throwawaysteve123456 · 2017-11-17T20:13:10+00:00

Someone said here recently, if I want to learn how to hunt, I'll ask a hunter, not a deer. I'd follow that advice.

Morphs_ · 2017-11-17T21:59:26+00:00

She is trying dread on you through jealousy. Trying to make you jealous by implying she may have other options.

It's a control mechanism. Getting you jealous will show her that you care and won't walk away. So her trying to make you jealous actually shows she's uncertain about her SMV compared to yours. If you perceive you SMV to be higher than hers, you simply won't care enough to get jealous.

iLLprincipLeS · 2017-11-18T09:27:14+00:00

She was a bi-polar bag of crazy(genuinely diagnosed with BPD, not just hyperbole) so perhaps hamsters just do what they do but if anybody has any opinion's or thought's on what she was trying to achieve or on how I did/should have acted, I'd be keen to hear.

Females hamster is BPD. Doesn't really matter what she says, give her the D.

mallardcove · 2017-11-17T19:24:57+00:00

Who cares? The fact that you took the time out of your day to write all of this shows that you still have oneitis for her

m0rphing · 2017-11-17T21:32:04+00:00

OP, you have been seriously misguided. Whatever you learned about how to deal with women is wrong. How do I know this? Because you are considering what she is saying. A classic beginner mistake.

You're all like.. "hmm.. she told me she wants me to lose my control sometimes.. what does she mean? what does she want? she's so mysterious and confusing.."

But this isn't how you are supposed to deal with women. You are spending mental effort thinking about a woman, trying to get into her head, empathizing with her, putting yourself in her shoes, trying to understand her. That's not what men do.

The only proper way to deal with women is to not consider her at all. You listen to her words only enough to get the tone of her voice to determine whether she is in a good mood (DTF) or not in a good mood (not DTF). You look at her body language just enough to get a hint about whether she's DTF or not DTF. You look at her body overall and how sexy it is in order to get a good idea of how much you are DTF or not DTF with this chick. And that's it. Nothing else.

The moment you actually consider something she is doing or saying, beyond what I just described above, you have gone wrong.

As far as I'm concerned you are far better off responding to whatever a woman says with something completely unrelated, instead of actually seriously considering what she says and providing a logical answer.

Her: "Why aren't you getting jealous?"

You: "Airplanes are so cool..." stares off into the distance dreamily

NJA4242 · 2017-11-18T00:05:44+00:00

How were you treating her at the time? Very lovingly or cold and distant?

Title	What was she looking for here?
Author	KayJay012
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	November 17, 2017 7:05 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7dn6xd/what_was_she_looking_for_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-was-she-looking-for-here.118489 https://theredarchive.com/post/118489

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