A hard one...

Gtrplyr3838 · 2021-05-17T22:50:02+00:00

I wouldn’t have a Bi GF....plate only. You could blow it all up or you could get lucky. Once you sleep with the friend, you can’t walk it back. Chances are it will come out. Most women can’t keep their mouths shut. But do you want to be a slave to your gf’s business leads forever?

319Skew · 2021-05-17T22:51:20+00:00

Vas would be your best bet on this. Have you read his guide?

MusicgoonV2 · 2021-05-18T00:02:33+00:00

I can see your dilemma. My girlfriend is bi. We have our own set of rules she can explore that side of herself with me involved. And she is involved in some capacity with me and other women. We share well. I don't do double standards. That would make me leave. And she knows with absolute certainty that I would replace her almost immediately.

Now it seems like your girlfriend isn't coming from a place of scarcity and doesn't have that fear of losing you. The thing is when you make a deal on a relationship dynamic. You are keeping the relationship honest. I think that's important. More in that in a bit.

I see that you aren't ecstatic about your relationship as it is right now. If you were more satisfied. You wouldn't think about rocking the boat. I'm not going going to assume how you feel, but for me personally. The fact that a girlfriend is out fucking around would start eating away at me. I've heard the sentiment from bi people that if you are having sex with a different gender than your partner it's not cheating. I call bullshit. They are still giving their sexual and emotional intimacy to another human. Just because you don't have some of those parts doesn't negate it from infidelity.

Could you imagine if I went out and raw dogged some ho and then came home and said. "Hey babe I raw dogged this hot chick today. But don't worry. She was a blond and you're a brunette. Its not cheating because of genetic hair color".😁

It sounds like as far as abundance, you're almost all the way there, but are coming up slightly short. That can be fixed. Now we know that you can and are willing to replace your current girlfriend. You however seem to be coming from a place of scarcity with her hit friend. This is almost oneitis. Tread carefully. You seem to be afraid to lose her and your social connections. You should be able and confident enough to walk away and still create even more contacts without anyone. Never be afraid to walk away or take a loss.

I think you have a few options:

Option A. You continue on and don't rock the boat. This option fucking blows goat. It won't keep you happy, won't give you what you want, will keep you safe, dissatisfied and eventually fill you with regret.

Option B. You shoot your shot with this hot girl. You do this on the DL. You might keep this up for a while. You'll eventually get caught or the guilt will chip away at your frame and will put a dark cloud over your success.

Option C. This is what I call the Musicgoon option. Bold beautiful brutal honesty. Unflinching and unfiltered. You reiterate the arrangement you two had. You tell her this is what I agreed to and it no longer works for me. You tell her you aren't going to lie. This is what you want, this is what you're going to do. You're giving her respect for the current agreement and you have the integrity to not blindside her. You have the balls to inform her of your true wants and intentions. Give her time to react and expect some kind of emotions. Stay strong and logical.

Here's the thing bro, almost no one ever is that fucking bold. To look her in the face speak the truth and deliver it with no sugar coating. It will make her head spin. I've found that staying unemotional and bold will give you surprisingly very good results!

Make sure you repeat this process with the hot friend. Show them you aren't afraid of conflict or speaking your truth. It will also show that you aren't afraid of taking a loss to get what you want.

Option D. (Give her the D.... Hehe) I would repeat most of option C here. The only difference is plant the seed. Who says you can't negotiate a different dynamic? Maybe you two can play with women together? Or maybe you can make an exception to the dynamic? The only gamble with this is she could shoot it all down if she's stubborn.

Life is too short to not go after what you want bro. Shoot your shot and walk away if you have to.

ClickKlakk · 2021-05-17T23:46:01+00:00

It sounds like you know what you want to do. You’re just trying to figure out how to do it. If you’ve been vetting the friend for a long time, then you have a leg up on the risk/reward conversation.

1) The only way you lose the ability to date other girls is if your branch swing works and you commit to the friend. If it blows up you still get to hook up with all the girls you’re hooking up with currently.

2) Like with any girl, you should fuck her for a good amount of time before committing, so this one is no different. You’re not realistically going to branch swing into another relationship.

3) You need to tell your girl that you want to change the arrangement. You need to be willing to walk away and lose both of them to pull it off. If she blows up and you walk away it will make you all the more attractive to the friend. If you guys have a good connection then you will probably get a shot.

4) Make sure you’re not putting this chick on a pedestal. It sounds like you are developing oneitis for her.

Title	A hard one...
Author	mern55
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	May 17, 2021 10:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/neu3pz/a_hard_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/a-hard-one.754681 https://theredarchive.com/post/754681

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