What does assertiveness look like to you?

GoodFaithSockPuppet · 2021-04-09T22:59:30+00:00

To be assertive is to lead.
It is to roll with the punches. It is to react to crisis with counter-measure and planning.
To be in tune with the Protect / Provide / Prosper

When one challenges the dominance hierarchy? You have to win. Simple as. If a person is tied to the belief in the validity of the hierarchy, then all attempts to "overcome" which fail? Are meant with ridicule. Social Defeat compounding Physical/Social Defeat.

Which is why you have to pick your battles and your methods.

An assertive man is able to negotiate from a position of strength/confidence - or he's able to present that he has come to another for help without shame in his inability to deal with it himself. It is to be forward without turning everything into a dominance challenge.

Watch men with men. When men willingly follow another man, and enjoy the act of service/following/being led? Odds are the man is being Assertive. They are invited to follow.

That's what I think on being Assertive. It's a positive experience.

Yesm3can · 2021-04-12T07:19:10+00:00

I can describe assertiveness in a romantical relationship according to my personal experience. Assertiveness does make relationship a thousand times simpler and easier, so it is great if it comes from both partners and ideally happens in all kinds of relationships.

It is all about enforcing and respecting boundaries imo.

My husband, even since we were just started dating, was always clear about what he likes and what he does not like and never compromised on it. For things he has not yet tried, he gave genuined attempt and made up his mind about it after, but for things he knew already that he does not like, he would not make exception on it. That kind of thing brings a lot of trusts and comfort. Makes you feel that you know this person well and that words and acts match.

In the past, I have had friends and others trying to guilt trip me after making an exception to their boundaries and I saw that as manipulative/totally not assertive. And this has to do with my original statement too of assrtiveness is enforcing but also respecting boundaries.

There are people who hate driving in the rain for example, but some of them drives in the rain anyway, but with a hope to get some tails/some interactions as reward for breaking their own boundaries...and inevitably getting upset later when the person their interact with does not give them what they wanted.

Is assertiveness similar to uncompromising then? Well, for me, yes, yes it is. And does that mean cutting off or being cut off by people who thinks that you should have made exception for them (because they are oh so special and other bull)? Yes, yes it does. Is it egoistical then? Yes it is. And being egoistical/looking out for your own interest, is fine to be done to some degree as long as you are not actively harming others by it.

TheDrWinston · 2021-04-19T16:32:50+00:00

Assertiveness is overrated, just don't be a doormat and have boundaries. You dont have to be and dominance minded individual.

2021-05-06T13:01:51+00:00

Forget movies. Everything you see in entertainment is a lie. Observe real people, real happy couples, and watch how they interact.

Make friends with girls. Stop putting them on a pedestal. They're just people like you.

And stop worrying what women think about you. Work on being happy with yourself and enjoying your ride on this planet, that's all that matters.

Title	What does assertiveness look like to you?
Author	defo18
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	April 9, 2021 9:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/mnra45/what_does_assertiveness_look_like_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-does-assertiveness-look-like-to-you.1187205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187205

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