Fighting a change in the dynamics

theultmatecad · 2015-03-01T18:31:23+00:00

You are on the right track. Power forward with what you have learned and accomplished.

Do not talk with her about any of this. Just keep doing and you will be fine

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-03-01T23:43:23+00:00

she feels that she is being submissive if she doesn't take a stand

Puzzled look: "Honey, you say that like it's a bad thing."

RBuddDwyer · 2015-03-01T17:14:47+00:00

It sounds like you are building up towards this.

Chateau Heartiste also talks a bit about it here.

ivebeencaught · 2015-03-01T20:14:53+00:00

Be aware that what she is fighting may not necessarily be the change in you. She has stated that she is afraid of losing control in your relationship. This is a very scary point for a lot of women, especially ones that have been told their whole lives that they need to be in charge, they are better than men, men are bumbling idiots, men are babies, you are the strong ones, men would die in childbirth... ect. Years and years of having this pounded into their heads and us having acted in a way that reinforced this belief.

Then one day, you start taking control of your shit. She is now experiencing a complete change in her life. Sure she is getting the tingles from you, but this is also confusing, because all the guys that gave her them in the past were complete assholes that pumped and dumped (if not her then at least her friends). How can YOU be causing this to happen to her. She is terrified of the unknown that has entered her life.

You may be the great benevolent leader that will guide you family to a happy, wonderful future but how can she know that? You can only show her this through time and sustained frame. If you are an oak you can bend to absorb the wind she is blowing at you. Smile when you stare into her eyes. Let her stare you down, right up to you approaching her and kissing her passionately and whispering "I love it when you can't take your eyes off me."

This isn't a contest to win, these are complete life changes, that once she realizes are permanent will be the best for the both of you. If not for her, she may leave and that's ok because you didn't do this to make her happy. You mad the changes to better yourself, better your family and if she can't be part of that, well, someone else will.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-01T20:00:26+00:00

Are you tracking her cycle? Women crave domination in mid-cycle but often back off on that just before shark week (aka PMS).

Looking her into the eyes almost feels like a staring match. Feels like she refuses to be the one to break eye contact.

Your feels are on point I think. Feel free to break eye contact- in order to check her out from another angle because I can't imagine the benefit of engaging her on this type of nonverbal Shit Test.

She has said multiple times recently that she is feeling controlled and she feels that she is being submissive if she doesn't take a stand.

Amused Mastery is the ticket.

Big hug: "But you are so cute when you are sweet and submissive, lets see how often you can be like that and see what happens."

Then pat her on the head (don't forget to dodge her counter punch).

Soldier on is all I can suggest because we have known for a very long time: "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." On MRP we recommend improving for an entire year before giving up.

At some point during that year you are going to need to let it all go and realize, internally, that you can do better than your current wife. When you realize that, everything will change quickly for you.

exbp · 2015-03-02T00:14:23+00:00

She is testing you right and left. These are huge because it shows that she's seeing the change and wants to know if it's real or some stuff you'll back off from when cornered. Show her it's real by passing and staying the course. This is good news, not a reason to change anything.

No sex? Or you want to be pissy about the lights and ruin the mood? Okay, I'll find something else to do. After you fake that once or twice you'll find you aren't faking, this is outcome independence.

Nothing wrong with some subtle dread too. Drop some female names into conversation, chat up that cute mom at the kids school, etc. I get a big boost of confidence because this causes my wife to tip her hand and show her dread. And dread makes shit tests lessen and sex get better.

And Daniel-son, always rook eye.

Title	Fighting a change in the dynamics
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	March 1, 2015 5:02 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2xkoa5/fighting_a_change_in_the_dynamics/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/fighting-a-change-in-the-dynamics.202429 https://theredarchive.com/post/202429

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