So, long time lurker but this is my first post ever. And its going to be fucking huge, so strap yourself in fellas.

Basically my story is probably much like alot of yours. I'm 23, grew up half overseas in Indonesia (I'm Australian) and went to (some)schools where I couldnt talk to anyone/make any friends due to a language barrier. I was also diagnosed with mild aspergers so that didnt help, and then when I moved back to Australia when I was 16 I just did a shitload of drugs with the one friend I did have and brought out my extreme anxiety disorder, which I have been dealing with ever since. So maybe not exactly like yours, but I'm basically a weirdo social reject. Or was.

I've been in and out of relationships (but mostly in) since I was 16, with 3 major ones, the last one ended 2 weeks ago after being together a year and living together for 4 months, and I was the dumpee so I was pretty cut (and still am, but I'll manage). The issue was all these girls were girls I had been friends with for a while before dating, and as far as 'game' goes I basically had zero.

So I was sitting around on saturday night with nothing to do, just thinking about how my ex would be going out and partying and having a great time, so I got the idea to go out. But no-one wanted to go out so I thought fuck it, jumped on seddit and looked at peoples experiences clubbing alone, thought I could do it, and committed to it and went out.

Now I guess you could say I'm a metalhead, I have a nose ring and long hair and I would say I'm reasonably attractive, so as such I chose an alternative club I used to go to when I was ~18-19, it plays mostly post hardcore (which I am very over at this point) and is about 80% male due to the scene, although there are some very attractive alternative girls, which personally is my thing. Everyone there is also for the major part 18-21, so it makes me a bit older, but I dont really look it and even so being 23 isnt too bad.

I should probably mention at this point I wasnt going out looking for a hookup or a root or to meet some women, I was going out just because I wanted to get fucking wasted in a social environment, mostly, and make some connections a lot of which I lost when I was in my unhealthy relationship over the past years. This was my mentality and according to this reddit that should be the mentality you want when going out- if girls wanted to hook up or bang I wouldnt say no, but if they didnt, no real loss.

So anyway I ended up actually going in there with 2 friends, a friend I went to a TAFE class (trade school?) with and hadnt seen for 3 years, and his girlfriend whom I'd never met. So it wasnt entirely solo to begin with, but they knew no-one there and the guy in the relationship is one of the biggest betas I have ever met, so I had to lead the way and plan out what we were doing. We had some drinks on the way in cause I find I really need that for confidence and the ability just to constantly talk, so we got in at about 10.30 and I was moderately tipsy.

I hung out with this guy and his girlfriend and chatted about a bunch of stuff, caught up on old times, went inside watched some of the terrible bands, and basically did nothing really social (they didnt know anyone else there either) but I just kept having drinks, a beer every half hour, to maintain a good level of the liquid courage, and keep being social up, and it was a nice catch up and we had a good chat but nothing really happened until they left at 12.30ish.

At that point I was on my own in a club, knowing no-one. I made a few runs through the various rooms, got a beer or two, just hung out and moped around the dance floor, and couldnt find the courage or groups of people to approach. So I went outside for a smoke in the enclosed smoking room, and stood at a tree looking around to appear as if I was waiting for someone. At this point some dude came up and stood next to me at the tree also having a smoke. He was a well dressed and groomed attractive dude, so I said 'so man whats your story, did your mates ditch you too?'

He told me he had just moved home from living in dubai for a few years, and didnt really know anyone, but wanted to go out on a saturday night so he'd come solo just to watch some bands to chill. I was like, dude me too! and we had a sweet chat, turns out we were both pretty similar dudes and both had anxiety disorders and stuff.

So anyway then I pitched the idea to him about walking round and meeting some people, seeing if we could pick up some ladies, etc. Keep in mind there were very few single girls there in such an environment. We agreed to say we were good mates who knew eachother from high school and we were both 20 (cause even though I'm 23 I look younger and he's 18 and he looks older).

So we walked around inside and danced, I had a conversation with a chick at the bar when we were waiting for beers, and told the bartender 'she's next, because she's much prettier than I am' (long hair joke) and she had a laugh but then we went our separate ways (I wasnt really interested in trying to tune her conventional blonde girls are not my type) but it did wonders for my confidence in talking to people.

So then we went back outside to have a smoke and a chat, and some chick was looking around on the ground for something. I was like, hey you cool? watcha looking for? and we kicked off a conversation with her and her friends. I realised my buddy Matt at this point had no game whatsoever, he was shy and making little eye contact and had his arms up between them as a defensive posture. Naturally this really cute chick was not impressed with him at all and went straight for me and being intoxicated I just naturally got in really close to her as we were talking into eachothers ears (because of the loud club music) so our cheeks were pressing together. At this point I kinda had my hands on her hips because she was in really close and it just kinda came naturally. She said she wanted to get a drink, so I told her 'Well go get it and you know where to find us' which I thought was a really good play for 2 reasons: it made me appear as if I didnt give a fuck about hooking up with her, (which I honestly didnt) and that if she DID come back I could be almost certainly sure she was interested.

So we chatted to some other people for about 3-4 minutes and then she came back. We got into talking again and got really close and then I said: 'LOOK. Heres the thing. I think you're really cute and I wanna kiss you.' I have long hair and I was looking down, so she said 'oh' and brushed my hair back from her face, and we kissed for about 5 minutes, and it was really good, too.

We chatted for a little more and I got her number, but I didnt really chase it up (as I wasnt really interested in getting tail this night) and I kinda drifted off with a group of people and she dissapeared and I didnt see her again that night. I text her today but I realized the thing she was looking for that she had lost, was her phone... so perhaps I should have got her facebook. Havent got a response yet. Didnt think that one through, oh well.

So Matt and myself hung out and chatted to some more dudes, which by the way I HIGHLY recommend, because most people are actually really nice if you catch them in a friendly environment, and talking to those dudes not only made us appear more social, but we had buddies to drink with and have a good time. I ran out of money at this point and one of the dudes I just met bought me another drink when he was getting a round, so that was really nice.

At this point I was incredibly ridiculously tanked, so I cant really remember how things happened exactly, but thats when I started talking to the second incredibly attractive girl. I believe she walked past and I made a comment on something, or something to that extent. I started running my game on her and we were getting in really close, turns out we'd both lived in indonesia, so we talked indonesian for a bit. At this point though I realised I was basically taking the second attractive girl from my new friend Matt, and I'm not sure if I regret it now or not but I basically palmed her off to him, I said 'talk to matt here he grew up in dubai, he's got way more cool stories than me' and backed off a bit, under the presumption that this dudes confidence needed way more of a boost than mine did, and that a social relationship with this dude who had the balls to go out solo all the time would be way better in the long run.

They kinda talked for a while but he fumbled his game, made bad eye contact and stayed away from her while she was getting in close (he doesnt know what seddit is etc) and asked questions like 'so how has your night been' and stuff. After a couple of minutes she lost interest and left.

At this point we got one last beer, said goodbye to all our new friends, and I invited matt to come crash on my couch since he would otherwise had to have caught a taxi home, which costs like $100 in melbourne. it was about 3.30 at this point anyway, so we caught the nightrider home, and had a good chat on the bus about our stories, backgrounds, anxiety etc, and I told him what I knew about game, and where I could see he went wrong. He was pretty impressed and was like 'man thats fuckin awesome I'm so happy I met you, we're gonna have so much fun'. We got back to mine at 4.30ish and watched some adventure time on the couch while we passed out.

We got up today, went up and got some pies for breakfast and I directed him to the public transport to get home, and arranged to go out to the same place next week and do it all again.

I didnt close on any chicks or whatever, basically, but I was out in a club completely alone and made a bunch of new friends and met some really cute girls, and now I have a wingman who also seems kinda like an apprentice and we've agreed to go out weekly (I also think his dad might be able to hook me up with a better job, but thats another story). and a really sweet new friend to hang out with.

So basically the main points of this story are things that pretty much true to this subreddit, but you can see how they obviously applied to my awesome experience last night- I needed that confidence after going through such a brutal breakup. These things are

  1. Dont go out with the intention of hooking up, go out to have fun and let the hook ups come to you

  2. Talk to dudes as well as girls, if I'd just gone out to sleaze on girls my experience would have been very different and much more lonely.

  3. Practice your 'game' on guys too, because that shit works for making friends (as far as being confident and funny is concerned)

  4. JUST DO SHIT. I nearly pussied out of going/left about 5x throughout the night. If I had I'd be feeling way less awesome than I do at the moment.

  5. When you're talking to a girl, its your reality. Do exactly what ever the fuck you want, and if she doesnt like it thats too bad. But if you can convincingly pull it off, as I feel I did, the single ladies will have no chance.

  6. Think of some interesting stories to tell about yourself before you get there, so if it falls back into idle chatter you have something exciting and fun already prepared. Dont be like 'so hows your night going', no-one likes the 10th bore thats tried to hook in with them that night.

  7. This is the debatable one but I can hold my booze very well, and I tend to find when I drink my kino becomes very natural and appropriate, but this may possibly be due to me having girlfriends for so long. If I'm sober though I cant get the balls to touch them at all in the first place really, though, or if I do it feels arkward, so basically MY personal recommendation is 'drink enough so you dont care about much, but are not too drunk to function. Then maintain that level'

  8. Just talk to people whenever and as often as you can, for the practice, expect nothing. Start small, and work your way up, its a huge confidence booster. When you have been starting conversations with random people about nothing all night, its absolutely no different to approach a cute girl and do the exact same thing.

Anyway I just thought I'd share this story of my great experience of getting out there and doing shit, to hopefully encourage you guys to get out there and do the same. I was so anxious going into it, but I'm so glad I went, because now I have a wingman to head out with again, some interested girls around, and a few aquaintances we might meet out. Not to mention all the confidence I gained from the night. Be a yes man, and get the fuck out there, cause the worst thing that happens is you stand around being lonely all night and go home. And you wont care about that 2 days later. Do it. I could have done many things differently and better, but for me, this was a great start, and the world has opened up now.

Cheers guys, if you have any advice I'd be happy to hear it, and if you have any questions I'll do my best to answer :)