Struggling With A Specific Mental Frame

ericblobb · 2016-03-14T03:49:23+00:00

Although I'm not very experienced, I may have some insight on this as I have been thinking it over for quite some time.

My take on it is: yeah, you're gonna have bad moods, and yeah, sometimes those bad moods will have been caused by something specific and measurable which you can attempt to eliminate. But sometimes those bad moods will not have a specific and measurable cause, and the only way to go about them is to accept them.

Sure, go ahead and try to diagnose your situation, but don't go too far. Realize that you're human, realize that you're not always going to be on your "A-game", because like a great guy once said, confidence isn't assuring yourself you're the best of the best, confidence is being okay with the fact that sometimes you won't even be great.

It's paradoxical though, isn't it? On this subreddit, and blogs, and videos from motivational speakers, we're told to constantly improve ourselves, never settle, and always strive for more. The way I think around this is that I picture the two mindsets as two buttons barely bigger mo than my hands. Pushing one button will allow me to kind of push the other but not by much and vice versa. I guess you have to understand that one model of thought will almost never cover everything. The universe is too complex for that I guess. You have to constantly be switching your models based on your current situation. If you find yourself stagnating and being lazy, go for the "strive for more model". If you keep getting things like state crashes and bad moods, go for the "acceptance" model.

This quote from RSDMax has also helped: "Every moment wasted looking back keeps you from moving forward."

Hope I helped even a little bit. Best of luck you mate.

FblthpphtlbF · 2016-03-14T03:37:50+00:00

I wish I knew how to answer this problem, if only to help myself. I used to have no luck whatsoever with women, always thinking very lowly of myself and assuming that people thought the worst of me. My confidence stayed very low all throughout grade school and grade 9, while all my friends spoke of their encounters with girls I was stuck thinking its too bad I'm not better at talking to people (I used to not know how to keep a conversation past the 'hello, how are you' 'good, you?' Phase) or that I'm not attractive enough. A year later I've learned a nice amount things, have a girlfriend and am in a polyamorous relationship with another girl on the side. But everytime that I'm alone and start thinking my mind always wanders to 'they've probably gotten bored of me, I'm just not attractive, what could they possibly see in me, etc.' The only thing I can tell you is to tell that little voice in the back of your head to shut the fuck up and stop self-deprecating. If anyone has a real solution to this problem I'd love to hear it, but this is working for me so far and I really hope it can work for you.

CrushHazard · 2016-03-14T15:04:22+00:00

That's because you haven't succeeded yet. You can't think your way to success. You can't fool your brain into thinking you are the shit when you're not -- you need to actually go out and get what you want!

Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something (there is a reason that all those classes cost so much). Humans are lazy. We want to strap electrodes onto our abs and get a six pack. We want to take pills that make us thin. We want to buy penny stocks that will make us rich. Stop being that person. Get off your ass and start putting in the work that is necessary to succeed. It won't work immediately, it won't be easy, it won't solve all of your problems, and it won't get you threesomes with VS models. But after a few years, you will see things moving in the right direction. The most important thing is that it will be real, and you will look back and be very proud of yourself.

Title	Struggling With A Specific Mental Frame
Author	KingChord
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	March 13, 2016 9:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4aa5k5/struggling_with_a_specific_mental_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-with-a-specific-mental-frame.1403970 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403970

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