Pardon, long time lurker, first time poster. I've read a lot on Seddit about rejections. Common advice is to internalize abundance mentality, build a more fufilling/healthy life on your own, sarge more women, and be more social in general.

But I thought I'd just say something on how to deal with the immediate emotional response to rejection. Maybe this isn't a problem to more advanced PUAs, but definitely to beginner AFCs it is a blow to get the cold shoulder, or flame out suddenly when it otherwise seems everything is going your way.

I thought I had built up a healthy abundance mentality and more care-free attitude, but I recently didn't close a girl and, long story short, I reacted badly. I was frustrated, both sexually and psychologically. I wanted to know why it happened, but also I felt myself unsure how to deal with it.

Now, thankfully, I realized I wasn't angry in any logical sense. Nothing the girl did had been flaky or unreasonable. And while I may have did something wrong, I have enough inner game to know that it doesn't matter what I did, I'm still worthy of whatever I want.

But I still felt so agitated, pissed off. I didn't want to yell at myself, or the girl, nor did I want to vent to a friend about what I knew wasn't a big deal. So what then?

And that's when it hit me. Every time you get rejected, not only is it an opportunity to learn from the mistakes you made, but it's also an opportunity to give you an emotional kick. This can be negative, if you let it (i.e. you feel frustrated, blue, disappointed), but can also be POSITIVE.

For me, it first was negative. Went home, sulked a bit, doing a lot of nothing. Tried to chat up some friends, girls and guys alike, but just didn't feel into it. Tried playing a computer game or two, reading, listening to music...still felt irritable!

Then I realized: I wasn't just frustrated. I was deeply angry, primally angry. I mean, think about it, when animals are trying to mate, it's a cacophony sometimes. Whenever the male gets rejected, he howls, and when the female lets him she's often growling anyway (haha I'm thinking of tigers, monkeys, cats---sorry for the metaphor, some feral cats are getting busy outside my home these days). It sounds silly, but you have to let that shit out! I should've done this before when I was with the girl, but my shock at the sudden rejection broke my frame and I was speechless. I thought I'd play it cool and just act like it was no big deal.

But I've seen other PUAs write that you CAN blow up at girls, you CAN show you frustration and anger. Because girls are emotional creatures, they react much better to emotion than logic. The key is, I think, that once you let out the emotion, that's it. No sulking, wallowing in it. No whining. Girls can whine and sulk and wallow. A guy let's out his emotions forcefully, one time, that's it---he expects to be heard and his feelings respected. And girls do respect that, most of the time! Because most guys are scared shitless to show genuine frustrated, hurt, or confusion. It can set you apart in a major way.

Anyway, I wanted to tell that girl my frustration, but I couldn't get in the right frame of mind. I still felt pissed AT her, rather than just allowing it to obviously be my issue. I know, I know, bad idea if I'm trying to salvage it, but more on that in a second.

Instead, I'm pacing around my house because I can't fall asleep, and then I just open my door to get some fresh air. And then, before I know what's happening, I'm just running. 3am jog turns to 3 mile run. Did a few sprints as well. All something I had planned to do the following day, but honestly I probably would have put it off.

When I came back, all those endorphins and shit totally counterbalanced those negative stress reactions I had. I sent an email message to that girl, just stream-of-consciousness telling her how I didn't react as cool as it seemed to her. It wasn't conciliatory, it was emotional, but also didn't accuse her of much. It just said I was frustrated, confused, and thought we had a good thing going. Yeah, I know, bad idea right? She's going to see me as being over-sensitive, needy and lonely, right?

True. But my inner game is at the point where more and more often I just say fuck it. A girl says to me, "You seem lonely, Giraffe_dance. Maybe you need a girlfriend." And I can say yeah, "i'm lonely." I was scared to admit things about how I felt before, but as times passes, I let things out, and man, people (guys and girls) react to it.

I've had a couple falling outs, but made many more friends. Everyone's afraid to show their true feelings. If you can own your feelings, but not drown in them, you're going to go far.

So, to recap, the rejection not only taught me another sticking point in my game, but it ALSO served as a springboard for continuing my exercise plan. In other words, if you treat rejections like a bunch of mental and physical challenges, they give you something to push against, react to, so that you can build shrewdness, tact (mental), and self-possession, presence, strength and endurance (mental and physical).

TLDR: If you're rejected, and you feel the emotional hit, counteract the emotion by lifting weights or exercise, and/or let it out immediately. Don't hide it, but don't drown in it either. Rejections push you---push back!