Hey, this is my first field report on Seddit, just because I had something semi-interesting share I guess. The following girls I just met today, both were spur of the moment meetups, and both arranged by female friends of mine.

A HB6 friend of a collegue of mine is studying for a test, she's younger than me, still in college. So we meet up, and I suggest she come back to my place. I don't even invite her in, I just have her sit on the porch. Three reasons for this, one the weather is gorgeous. Second, my place is currently in a mess (just really busy and also rearranging things) and three, it sets up boundaries. A girl is ALWAYS curious about a guys place, because she wants to read into it, uncover who you really are. Not to mention know if you a slob or not. If you bring her close to your place, but yet don't show it to her immediately, I think it keeps things mysterious. And, of course, implies you are in no hurry to show her the bedroom, that you still need to get to know her better etc. Obviously if you do it a second and third time, it suggests you're actually hiding something from her...but I digress.

It went well, I'm tutoring her, about 10 minutes in I very casually get her status by asking what her boyfriend would think of such and such...suddenly she's very nervous, talking faster. "No, [giggle] I don't have a boyfriend." Definitely IOI. I try to calm her down a bit, so we can really talk about something, build an emotional connection...but she continually doesn't seem to be listening to anything I say, and doing a lot of non sequiturs.

At first this unnerves me, and I keep trying to steer the conversation onto a track where we both relate to something or other. But then it hits me: SHE'S doing all the work. SHE'S trying to qualify herself to me by telling me what she hopes to do, how she things about this or that...the more I would try to connect with her, I can only end up lowering myself. So I just sit back and listen, give her a prompt or two, and she keeps talking. She's basically letting herself give into her attraction for me, building it up with everything she's opening up to about.

At the end of our meetup, she enthusiastically agrees to my suggestion for a real date out and about, after she's taken the aforementioned test. She's absolutely gushing, smiling etc. And I barely did any talking. LESSON: If a girl percieves you as having much higher value, JUST BE COOL, and let her do the work.

Second scenario, later today I'm at a "coffee hour" type meetup, it's semi work-related. My female colleague wanted me to come so that I could meet her sister-in-law, who I had previously bumped into and had sarged, but only very briefly (it was literally a bump-into-you-in-the-hallway-gotta-go-sorry-i'm-late type sarge).

Now, the sister-in-law, HB7, just happens to be there before me, and sitting at the end of a long table. When I come in, I'm immediately showing high value because my female colleague and I get along really well, have a good banter (she's married by the way so that helps, I think, since we both know, as well as others, that however flirty I may be, we're obviously not dating each other). I immediately start introducing myself to people I don't know, but some I do already. But, I'm sitting on the other end of table, away from HB7

Coffee is ordered etc. Now, at this point there's a real lull in the meetup. Like I said, it was semi-work related, so the atmosphere wasn't necessarily relaxed, since some people came of obligation. Also, the people there weren't the most outgoing or rowdy group, and there was a lot of shyness to go around.

When dealing with a shy group, it can be tempting to take all the attention for yourself, but I think it's a better route to let the shy ones slowly come out of their shell, interact with the group etc. You can do this by just shutting up for a while.

Sure enough, after 10 minutes or so, the other people started opening up to each other. Now, I figured it was appropriate to approach the HB7, since she and another guy across from her were the only people I hadn't really talked with yet, just because they were at the end of the table.

I approach and sit down next to her. Before approaching I had noticed the guy had been talking to her, and I guessed had interest in her, just by his tone and body language. When I sat down, he instantly froze for moment, trying to judge my relationship to her. I decided the best thing was to open him first. So I chatted him up, etc, occasionally turning the girl but not often. Finally, he was interuppted by someone, I turned to the girl, opened her a bit but was quickly interuppted myself by the guy himself.

Again, for the second time today, I felt a sense of mild befuddlement as what I should do at this point. The girl had been quite shy, holding back, and yet to sarge her harder at this point would have definitely brought attention to us both, as well as alienated an acquaintence who may or may not have been friends with other colleagues of mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid to AMOG someone hard if I need to, but it didn't seem necessary at the moment. She was already showing an IOI by following her sisters advice to meet me here. So, play it cool.

So, I simply excused myself, said I would go back to the other side of the table. By this time, the atmosphere had really relaxed a lot, and people were starting to take those spontaneous social photos (you know, all the facebook addicts out there gotta get their photos from somewhere). I do that well, striking all sorts of cute and suggestive poses, making the girls especially laugh. Defintely displaying value.

In the meantime, I spot out of the corner of my eye that the guy I had been chatting up earlier had dropped his reserve and was straight out hitting on her. He moved to where I had been sitting before (which was right next to her), clearly asked for her phone number, chatted her up more etc.

Which made sense. My coming to talk to him, and also her, had made him feel "introduced" to her, and made him feel like he could naturally engage her in conversation after I left.

At first, I felt like maybe I had made a mistake in doing that, but then I realized "Holy shit, that's another display of value!" Think of it guys, what if you had a girlfriend that acutally HELPED you get other girls phone numbers? And not only that, but she was cool about it, didn't get jealous or anything? Would be awesome, right? Same thing here, if you can show a girl that you aren't afraid other guys will hit on her, or even help facilitate it, it can actually RAISE your value higher than the guy who's hitting her. Obviously, there are exceptions to this...but in this case, definitely the truth.

I found this out later when everyone was leaving, because both myself AND the guy were both waiting for her. I, however, had a reason to be waiting, which was my female colleague. Otherwise, I wouldn't have showed such obvious "chase frame." My plan was to simply share a taxi with my female colleague and her sister-in-law, since we just so happen to live in the same general vicinity. The other guy had no such pretext, and so simply had to say goodbye. I even shook his hand with a big smile: because he has good taste, what can I say!

Later, when building attraction through normal conversation game, I even told her how lucky she is. "Why?" she asks. "Tonight, you had two guys hitting on you!" She absolutely beamed. :)

TLDR: Let the girl do the work if she wants to. Also, don't be afraid to eject and come back later if the interaction's stale and the girl has reason to stick around. Finally, it can be to your benefit that, in some circumstances, you are willing to accept a girl has other people hitting on her. Not only that, but you're so cool, you'll help make it happen! :)