Goingdowntheroad Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
15	What does submission mean to you?	DISCUSSION	Goingdowntheroad	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 03:45 PM
11	Tips on improving communication	ADVICE	Goingdowntheroad	/r/RedPillWives	24/03/17 06:16 PM
9	Absent minded professor	ADVICE	Goingdowntheroad	/r/RedPillWives	28/10/16 05:32 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Free Friday - March 31, 2017 Yes. The men there sound so very lonely. Even the ones who are focused on self-improvement sound terribly alone, as if they're carrying a heavy burden and nobody sees them! I suppose it's a good reminder to do our best for our men so that they don't have to shoulder that weight all alone!	/r/RedPillWives	31/03/17 07:49 PM
9	Free Friday - March 31, 2017 Does anyone else ever look at Married Red Pill? Once in a while I look, and I'm always surprised about their attitudes. Seems like, first of all, lots of them are opposed to women being stay at home moms, I have seen lots of posts about men wanting their wives back in the workforce. And lots of men on the site are bragging about how they take care of the housework and childcare, as if they don't expect anythijg from their wives besides earning money. Nothing inherently wrong with that of course.…	/r/RedPillWives	31/03/17 01:55 PM
3	Tips on improving communication It was an awesome exchange to be in! And it did me a world of good :) Thanks for the link, I'll check it out.	/r/RedPillWives	25/03/17 01:44 PM
3	Tips on improving communication I just tried to respond but I think it got deleted. I really, really like the way you reframed this -- it takes a big load off my mind. I was very hurt by those silent moments with my husband. And it still stings, but I can see that maybe I have been putting too much energy into fretting over that, and not enough energy into fixing my relationship with my family. It's exciting to think that I could make things better and set some boundarues with them. Scary but exciting. And yes, you're right th…	/r/RedPillWives	24/03/17 09:30 PM
3	Tips on improving communication Thanks. I guess it's true, the cleaning out the closet thing was kind of a pointless example, I can handle that stuff myself. I am very close to my family, albeit in a kind of turbulent way. They are loving and funny and also judgy and difficult. My husband is not as close to his family and we see them rarely. I must say he never, ever grumbles about spending Thanksgiving with my family -- he even kind of looks forward to it and gets all the kids into a football game. But I think if it was up to…	/r/RedPillWives	24/03/17 08:45 PM
2	Tips on improving communication I do go alone to family dinners -- just sometimes I want him there with me. I guess it's a favor I ask from him, because it makes me feel good and supported when he comes with me. But I hate when it turns into this disfunctional standoff between us! I don't know, probably I am overthinking this. It's frustrating because I have been trying so hard not to nag, and then I realize that sometimes nagging is the only way to get what I want. Edit to say -- sorry, I accidentally repeatedly posted this r…	/r/RedPillWives	24/03/17 07:25 PM
4	Sarrah Le Marquand: It should be illegal to be a stay-at-home mum This is a horrible article. Ugh, the idea that we all have an economic duty to our country to work work work...it sounds like a parody of Maoism. Anyway I think the author is going after a straw man. I don't, personally, know ANY women who are staying at home and not earning any money once the kids are in school. Except for women who are homeschooling, and I'm sure we all agree that teaching is working? Most of the women I know who stay at home with kids ALSO work, but they have found a way to d…	/r/RedPillWives	22/03/17 02:03 PM
2	"My Husband Is Not Romantic" - Great Post About Letting Go Of Expectations And Accepting Your Man! Yes. I tend to just go with the flow on the little things; I would never pick a fight over a movie or a restaurant! I'm definitely not meek or passionless either, but I've always been easy going in this way. In a lot of ways it's a good thing. But if I don't keep an eye on myself, my easy-going style can turn into lazy-mindedness and passivity. Then I feel kind of shaky and unsure when I have an actual problem. It's not easy for me to speak up. Sometimes I get bottled up and it's hard for me to …	/r/RedPillWives	22/03/17 01:02 PM
3	"My Husband Is Not Romantic" - Great Post About Letting Go Of Expectations And Accepting Your Man! I don't know if this is what you mean, but sometimes I also get frustrated with Laura Doyle because she seems to use a lot of really small, petty examples of relationship issues. (I haven't read her books, only her blog.) So she talks about things like which restaurant to go to, or what to do on Valentine's day, and it's hard to know how to translate those examples into bigger stuff like arguments over parenting styles. I also think that Laura Doyle must be quite a forceful person, so a lot of h…	/r/RedPillWives	21/03/17 11:02 PM
9	Half The Fun Of Being A Parent Is Trolling Your Children When we were kids and asked what we were getting for dinner my parents would say, "sticks and stones." When they were feeling creative they elaborated (mud pies, leaf stew, etc). Now I get to tell my kids the same thing and it is SO MUCH FUN. We also tell the kids that we "can't" understand them when they whine. So much more effective than lecturing or punishing!	/r/RedPillWives	17/03/17 02:10 AM
6	How Can I Make My Husband Happier? I agree with everyone here: the best way to figure out what your husband wants is to ask him! But also, I think you need to stop looking to him for constant validation. Has he actually expressed that he wants something more from you, or are you just projecting your own insecurities? In terms of weight loss, it helps to exercise at home -- FitnessBlender has tons of free videos -- this will boost your metabolism and curb your hunger. Taking walks with the baby in a stroller is also good. As someo…	/r/RedPillWives	15/03/17 07:54 PM
6	Update on my situation A lot of people are saying "you knew he was like this when you married him" and you're dismissing it. You shouldn't. Sure, maybe you didn't know that he was bad at holding down jobs. But you must have known that he was on the stubborn side, maybe a bit rebellious, or maybe really didn't care about following the rules? Maybe that's even what you liked about him? Now you're seeing the dark side of those qualities. But it might help you to remember the good side. Remember why you fell in love and g…	/r/RedPillWives	11/03/17 05:20 PM
2	Update on my situation You said there are also immigrants providing super cheap daycare in your area -- is that better than the subsidized daycare? I can't really blame him for not wanting to leave his kids in "shitty" daycare. He is probably feeling really guilty about all this and it might help him to see that there are possibilities. What kind of weekend job could you get? Maybe he would accept that idea if you showed him what the job would be, and that he would be doing the childcare? I see that you've prepared a …	/r/RedPillWives	10/03/17 07:38 PM
3	Update on my situation You sound like you are really fed up and you want to take action RIGHT NOW. I'm not denying that you're in a tough situation but I would caution against making big, sweeping changes on the spur of the moment -- you need to think of your kids and your marriage. So first of all, how did you learn that your husband got fired? Is this source reliable? Second: what is your husband's reason for not wanting you to work? Is it a source of pride to him? Is he concerned about the kids? Can you come to som…	/r/RedPillWives	10/03/17 07:22 PM
5	Long Hours and Not Keeping Up It takes 10 to 12 hours a week to maintain your lawn? Forgive me, I'm a city girl so I'm really ignorant about lawns but is there any way you can cut down on that time? Can you let part of the lawn go a little wild? Or mow a little less often? It might not look as pretty but at least you'd have more time to relax on it :)	/r/RedPillWives	07/03/17 06:58 PM
6	Older women, what depressing social changes have you seen in your lifetime? This stuff is so depressing! Maybe I'm delusional but I can't believe that humanity has just plain become degenerate. I kind of think it a has an economic explanation. After all many, many middle and upper class young people are stuck in extended adolescence because they spend years and years in college, graduate school, interning, doing entry-level jobs. They're not adults, they don't have real homes or bank accounts, they can't afford to marry and start families, but they're not children eithe…	/r/RedPillWives	07/03/17 02:22 AM
4	Getting Serious About Solipsism I think solipcism, like any other quality, has its good and its bad side. It can be a great way to make connections and relate to people. But on the bad side, it can be really off-putting and isolating. I'm thinking of women who start every political debate with something like "As a woman of color, I feel..." hard to have a two-way conversation with this kind of solipcism going on.	/r/RedPillWives	03/03/17 04:29 PM
5	ABUSE ALL OVER THE PLACE!! yikes... I agree that the comments go waaaay too far. But honestly I would go crazy if I was stuck inside the house all day, especially while pregnant! The original post has been deleted but from her responses to the comments, it sounds like she can't go out even for a walk in the daytime. Hope I'm wrong because that sounds awful... Either way, the comments are really unhelpful. I think she could use some advice on how to calm her husband's fears and get back on the same page as him.	/r/RedPillWives	03/03/17 12:30 PM
3	SAHMs and SAHWs: What do you do all day? It is so interesting seeing how people organize their time. I'm a stay-at-home mom; I also have a five and a three year old and a job doing research from home, and we homeschool. In the mornings my husband makes a big breakfast and we all spend some family time together. When he leaves for work, I clean up the kitchen and then it's time for homeschool. So, writing, simple math, and science projects for my five year old; painting and drawing and crafts for both kids. After lunch we go out. A few …	/r/RedPillWives	02/03/17 04:27 PM
2	Boyfriend putting me on a pedestal I think I relate to this, although I don't know if it's exactly the same issue. I try to be very supportive -- of my husband, my kids, especially -- while working to improve myself. I hum along for a while and then suddenly crash! Suddenly I'm full of self-pity, nobody supports me, I'm an ugly failure, blah blah blah. One thing that helps is reminding myself to talk to my husband BEFORE the blahs come on. I have to remind myself to talk to him about the little problems I face, my little ups and …	/r/RedPillWomen	02/03/17 01:59 AM
3	The Truth Cannot Be Sexist - Harvard Psychologist Oh wow. That makes a lot of sense. I definitely picked my field (research and writing) based on its flexibility and the ability to work from home. Sounds like you made a hundred percent tylhe right choice.	/r/RedPillWives	01/03/17 03:20 PM
3	The Truth Cannot Be Sexist - Harvard Psychologist Just curious, what was it about the STEM fields that you didn't like? I was always pretty mediocre at math, so this was never an issue for me :) but I wonder what I'll do if my daughter shows an aptitude. I had always sort of assumed that STEM jobs were more interesting and flexible than, say, corporate jobs, or medical or legal jobs, but I'd love to hear your take on it.	/r/RedPillWives	01/03/17 02:58 PM
7	Okay To Be a Housewife With No Kids? There's always going to be negative people saying negative stuff -- you have to learn to ignore them :) These conversations about your plans might go better if you talked about what you WILL be doing with your time. I mean realistically, it doesn't take all day to clean and cook for a 2 person household...so how will you spend your days? What are your plans and dreams? What are you excited about doing? I think if you present it that way, you will have better responses. But ultimately it is what …	/r/RedPillWives	27/02/17 09:34 PM
3	How do you know if you actually can do better? Hey, you have every right to be unsentimental and logical! You also have every right to be emotional, which is what seems to be going on here. You have a man who cares for you and, by your own account, can make good money and provide for you. But because you feel his investments are lazier than "real" work, you are losing interest in him. You seem like you're checking out of the relationship and maybe that's for the best for both of you...my only suggestion is that you do a little self-analysis.…	/r/RedPillWives	26/02/17 10:41 PM
6	How do you know if you actually can do better? I agree with VintageVee...you should be absolutely crazy about the man you marry! But if, for the moment, you're just trying to be clear-eyed and unsentimental, then I guess you need to decide what you want from your future husband. Do you want him to make a lot of money? Do you plan to work, or would you like to stay at home? What kind of lifestyle are you hoping for? I guess I mean, in what way would his laziness actually affect you?	/r/RedPillWives	26/02/17 01:21 PM
1	I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife - And it Has to be That Way by Ashleigh Slater Yes! Being a united front is so important.	/r/RedPillWives	24/02/17 07:35 PM
2	I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife - And it Has to be That Way by Ashleigh Slater Makes sense!	/r/RedPillWives	24/02/17 06:41 PM
2	I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife - And it Has to be That Way by Ashleigh Slater Yeah, I agree that's important. But that's not exactly putting him first -- it's just not putting him last. I guess these are just semantics. I wonder sometimes when I read articles like this, but I suppose it mainly comes down to not forgetting the importance of your marriage.	/r/RedPillWives	24/02/17 06:27 PM
2	I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife - And it Has to be That Way by Ashleigh Slater I completely agree with this and I do my best to live by it. But sometimes I wonder what, concretely, people mean by it. I mean the author here admits that she feeds her kids and gives them their milk or whatever before she makes time for her husband. So in what way is she putting him first? I do my best to put my husband first but once in a while we get caught in this weird Bermuda triangle where I'm in the kitchen making breakfast and both kids are trying to talk to me and then my husband star…	/r/RedPillWives	24/02/17 06:12 PM
8	How Masculine Jobs and Lives Can Affect a Woman’s Beauty and Feminine Energy This is so interesting, thanks! I guess it's all about balance. I get the feeling that she is writing for career women, who spend most of their time cultivating their masculine energy and try to push down their feminine energy. For me, as a SAHM, it is actually important to periodically reconnect with what she would call my masculine energy. That image she gives of striding down the street feeling powerful? I love that image. Oddly, it helps in my relationship with my husband and kids too. Hope …	/r/RedPillWives	22/02/17 04:13 PM
4	Housewives and Homemakers of RPW: How do you respond to negativity? Are you sort of trying to get a rise out of people, when you talk about being a homemaker? I mean, we all know it's a controversial issue, so the question is, when you have these talks with your colleagues, do you want to find common ground, or do you want to start a debate? When people ask me what I do, of course I say that I'm a stay at home mom, but that's not all I say. I tell them about my hobbies, my writing projects, my cooking experiments. That usually starts a friendly conversation-- wh…	/r/RedPillWives	18/02/17 11:12 PM
6	How do you reset things in your marriage when you have fallen into a pattern? Date nights at home can be a lot of fun, even if you keep them super low key...it's an excuse to get dressed up and focus on each other, even if you're just sitting at the kitchen table playing checkers :) The other thing I try to do -- and this I learned from my husband -- you have to grab your moments. If we're taking the kids out to the park, we play together too. Bring a frisbee or something and run around together. Or sit on a bench and chat while the kids play. Enjoy the little moments tog…	/r/RedPillWives	17/02/17 11:08 PM
5	Interesting reddit thread about the sexism men experience, thought you might want to peruse it! I think it's really sad that as a society we seem to have kept the negative stereotypes about men (the idea that they are predators) even as we try to get rid of the positive stereotypes about them (the idea that men are protectors and providers). I felt really sad about all those good, decent dads being accused of preying on kids! I know even my husband will think twice when he takes our kids to the playground to play catch or something and other kids want to join their game. He is always caref…	/r/RedPillWives	15/02/17 04:40 PM
3	Gratituesday I'm grateful that my husband has cut back his work hours! It is so, so nice for all of us to have him home more. And it is wonderful to see how much HE is enjoying it! I'm grateful that I'm starting to make friends with other homeschooling moms! I got involved in a group to socialize my kids, byt it turns out the socializing is good for me too. I'm grateful that we have plenty of food and don't have to worry about every penny. I just tasted the broth I've been making and I have never tasted anyt…	/r/RedPillWives	14/02/17 07:19 PM
17	I need some help motivating my husband. You haven't said anything about your partner's redeeming qualities. I guess -- for the sake of being open minded -- I can picture scenarios in which this set-up could work. Is your man a wildly talented, driven artist who simply hasn't been discovered yet, and you're supporting him until he succeeds with his art? Some women can do that. Ernest Hemingway's wife supported him (and their baby) for years until his writing career took off... Or, is he a crazily charming, loving man who makes you so h…	/r/RedPillWives	13/02/17 03:54 PM
3	How to Set Up a Homemaking Routine for Newbies with FlyLady I really love FlyLady's overall message, it is so encouraging! I found it hard to use her room-by-room approach. We live in a smallish apartment, with small children, and that means that the whole apartment tends to get messy and dirty very quickly! So I find it easier to do a little cleaning in each room every day, and then deep clean one area if I have time. Curious to hear if FlyLady works for other apartment dwellers, maybe I am missing something! Anyway, I did learn a lot from her calm styl…	/r/RedPillWives	03/02/17 04:42 PM
11	7 Ways to Turn Your Husband's Bad Day Into a Good One "Give thanks" -- this one is so important! I'm embarrassed to say this but for the longest time, when my husband had a tough day at work, I would try to outdo him and prove that ai had a tough day too. I wanted him to know that I was working hard too. But actually, I was just making him feel more tired. Now, when I know he's having a tough day, I thank him -- and I tell him what a wonderful day I'm having at home with our kids. Because his hard work makes these wonderful days possible! And I fin…	/r/RedPillWives	31/01/17 11:55 PM
7	Are Women Being Raised to Fail? This article isn't saying that women shouldn't work. It's saying that women are ill-prepared for relationships because they're taught to distrust men and to live their lives in fear. Blushinglily's comment about this is so good! Still, the article kind of skates over the fact that men DO leave women, and don't always comply with child support laws -- this happened to my own mother, and she was in a very tight spot as she had been a SAHM until then. I grew up knowing a lot of families in this pre…	/r/RedPillWives	29/01/17 05:57 PM
2	Weekly Reflections with RPWi – January 23, 2017 The good: I had a heavier workload than usual this week but managed to get everything done, while staying on top of the housework and looking after kids. I am getting a lot better at asking for help and my husband has been wonderful about helping. The bad/ugly: I don't like the way my mood gets when I have a lot of work. My whole brain turns into a to-do list and I feel a little frantic and cranky. Yesterday I guess I was still edgy from the spillover of my busy week. I had a stupid argument wit…	/r/RedPillWives	23/01/17 03:06 PM
5	PMS, STFU, apologizing It's tough! Next time, maybe try asking him for help BEFORE you get too overwhelmed and emotional. For me, it works best to ask for help with something specific (could you handle the toddler while I get dinner ready?). If he says yes, thank him and obviously do not criticize how he's helping. Don't hover and give helpful suggestions about how the one year old should be played with or what he should be eating etc etc... If he says no, well, it is his day off and he probably needs some time to him…	/r/RedPillWives	20/01/17 07:47 PM
1	Weekly Reflections with RPWi – January 16, 2017 The good: family life is so harmonious right now. I am keeping up with my goal of not nagging, and I'm really enjoying it. My husband cheerfully took some of my tasks off of my shoulders, too, which felt wonderful. The bad: I am still struggling to get organized. I forget things that I'm supposed to do, or I try to do too many things at once and, ahem, flood the kitchen. I need to find a way to get organized without triggering my inner rebel and bucking the system... The ugly: nothing really. We…	/r/RedPillWives	16/01/17 08:01 PM
2	Attachment Style Test!!! For what it's worth...I read the "mistrusting" description and immediately thought, that sounds like me sometimes before I met my husband. I remember that "hollow" feeling. I am not saying I never feel lonely and paranoid (ha) but things have gotten so much better now that I have a family of my own. Edit to fix typos	/r/RedPillWives	12/01/17 02:24 PM
3	Attachment Style Test!!! I got "dismissive" and the description fits well! I have a small circle of people who I totally trust and feel completely open with...and besides them, I don't open up easily to other people, I tend to feel very private about my life. This has been an issue for me at times, because I really enjoy having casual friends who I can just have fun with, chat with, do activities, without having to be super intimate and talk about all the details of my private life. But lots of women find that cold, I k…	/r/RedPillWives	12/01/17 02:06 PM
18	What's your strongest opinion about something non serious? Cities should offer dirt-cheap or free public gyms and swimming pools, and should also provide bike lanes, safe parks, and hiking trails where possible. This would be a MUCH better use of public funds than creating public service announcements about the dangers of junk food and cigarettes.	/r/RedPillWives	10/01/17 11:33 PM
2	Gratituesday I'm grateful that my husband is so dynamic! Sometimes I get kind of tired and blah -- he has so much energy and he can always take me out of myself and make me laugh. I'm grateful for my homeschooling group! We are a tiny group, just finding our way slowly. I really like the other families involved. I am grateful to the public library. My kids are big book lovers and there is no way I could afford to keep them in books without the library.	/r/RedPillWives	10/01/17 04:03 PM
1	Weekly Reflections with RPWi – January 09, 2017 The good: I've had such a nice week and am keeping up with my no-nagging resolution. We got a lot done around the house the weekend while still having a lot of relaxing, fun family time. A few times I was tempted to nag but I bit my tongue and went out to jog instead and guess what -- everything got done without reminders from me. The bad: I've fallen a little out of touch with some of my old friends. I need to find a time to reconnect with them. Ugly: nothing really.	/r/RedPillWives	09/01/17 06:25 PM
8	Advice Requested: How can I help my forgetful partner without nagging? My husband is very absent minded as well, so I can tell you what NOT to do. Don't make it into a weird emotional issue. Don't build it up in your mind and assign it meaning. Sometimes the garbage is just the garbage. Taking out the trash will take about one minute, whereas brooding about it (why do I always have to be the practical one? Why does he get to theorize about politics while Im stuck dealing with trash) will waste hours of your life. Also, it is okay to ask for help. For me it works be…	/r/RedPillWives	06/01/17 06:15 PM
1	What does submission mean to you? Wow, I like the contrast you set up between submitting and bullying...that's deep, I will keep it in mind.	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 11:32 PM
2	What does submission mean to you? Thanks! We mainly do this. I sometimes forget to look for the little things that matter to him in the home -- I can do better at this.	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 10:56 PM
3	What does submission mean to you? Oh I know what you mean about trash talking!! My mother used to complain about my father to us ALL THE TIME. Both before and after their divorce. Now, I make a lot of mistakes but I do manage not to do that... We have just started homeschooling as well (oldest is 5)! It's very exciting.	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 10:53 PM
1	What does submission mean to you? Thanks for this! I think the attitude is really important. I am a naturally mild, yielding person, I think. I tend to give way not only to my husband but to friends and family members. But growing up, I was constantly warned not to be a doormat, stand up for myself, etc etc. I mean obviously nobody should be a doormat. But I think that advice has made me constantly second guess my own life...I still tend to yield to my husband but with I feel sort of like I have to disguise it, if that makes sen…	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 10:51 PM
1	What does submission mean to you? Thanks! I have trouble with the change-of-power too...those moments when he is allowing the kids to do some little thing I wouldnt allow myself, or vice versa...always such trivial things but they can be tough. I really like what you say about the importance of attitude. I find it all too easy to think in terms of what's best for me and get sulky!	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 10:46 PM
2	What does submission mean to you? Thank you!! Just to be clear, I wasnt challenging the word submissive. I was actually trying to figure put how it works in practice...I really admire you ladies and am curious to learn more about putting red pill principles into action in my own life.	/r/RedPillWives	04/01/17 10:41 PM
5	New Years Eve(ish) MegaThread!!! I had a really beautiful New Year's. I made a special dinner and a cake, so that the kids would get to feel celebratory too. After they went to bed my husband and I listened to music, and drank eggnog, and danced a little...it was wonderful. But. I DO have a resolution: to stop nagging (or, as I call it, "pointing out important information"). I made the resolution yesterday, thinking it would be easy since, in my mind, I never nag, I just point out useful information... well, I broke it THIS MOR…	/r/RedPillWives	01/01/17 04:17 PM
2	Hygge Helps Explain Millennials' Longing For Reenchantment I have my kids wait until Christmas to open their gifts. But i make an exception when people we dont see very often give them presents -- then I ask the kids to open them right away. People often want to see the kids' reactions, or even play a little with the new toy or read them the new book. I figure it's better manners not to deny people that pleasure...my kids still get plenty of Christmas magic, plus a little extra warmth from the early gift exchange : )	/r/RedPillWives	26/12/16 10:53 PM
2	Examples of Selflessness/Sacrifice Thanks for this kind understanding. I agree absolutely about the need to let go, and I like the way you put it. It's a sacrifice of ego.	/r/RedPillWives	23/12/16 06:56 PM
1	Why Are So Many Women Depressed? I just saw this! I think you're right. Our expectations of success and personal happiness are so high...I also think we have so many more choices than people did a few generations ago, and choices can lead to anxiety.	/r/RedPillWives	23/12/16 03:36 PM
1	Examples of Selflessness/Sacrifice I'm going to talk about an example of sacrificing that did NOT go well! When my first child was born I really had no idea of how to raise babies or keep house. I could cook, but not much more than that! So the baby threw me for a loop. Up until that time, my husband and I had been working together, and thriving on it. But when the baby was born we agreed I'd stay home, the way I'd always wanted. Problem is, my husband continued to work very very long hours, and I spent a lot of time alone with t…	/r/RedPillWives	23/12/16 02:28 PM
5	Maybe It's Time To Redefine What It Means For Women To 'Have It All' I really like this article, thanks! I'm a SAHM, which is what I always wanted. Most of the time i find this enormously fulfilling and stimulating -- it also offers so much space for personal growth, I mean, I am constantly learning and expanding. I was never ambitious in a climb-the-career-ladder sort of way, but I have always been ambitious in terms of wanting to write. I do find time for some freelance work but not nearly as much as I'd like to. I find that after taking care of my kids, and th…	/r/RedPillWives	21/12/16 06:01 PM
3	Why Are So Many Women Depressed? Oh yes, I think that's a great point about how lack of community leads to a sense of pressure and unrealistic expectations! I'miss really interested in your point about how people no longer see femininity as an overarching quality...I think I understand what you're saying but I'd love to read more about this! Thanks for the link too, I'll dive into that.	/r/RedPillWives	21/12/16 12:50 AM
3	Gratituesday The weather! It's a little cold but we have sunshine and blue skies. I'm sitting in a sunbeam writing this while the kids race around playing happily. My husband's sensible side. In many ways he's a daydreamer who prides himself on thinking outside the box -- I love that about him. But when it comes to our kids and our home, he is always calm and sensible and sets me straight when I have a misguided worry. My boss. I work part time, and mainly from home. Lately the work has been really engaging …	/r/RedPillWives	20/12/16 04:43 PM
9	Why Are So Many Women Depressed? This is such an interesting set of articles, thanks! I also think that the definition of feminine has become awfully narrow in recent years. In the past -- judging by my grandmothers and their stories -- women could take pride in their homes AND in their work, without feeling like they had to prove themselves to be absolutely perfect in either realm. Both my grandmother and great grandmother were schoolteachers who still raised kids and kept house. But they did it without this frantic, anxious e…	/r/RedPillWives	20/12/16 03:46 PM
2	Weight concerns If she is really struggling to be physically attracted to him, wouldn't it be better to tell him something? I mean, obviously say it in a respectful way. But if she's not attracted to her man because of all the weight he's gained seems to me that's something he'd want to know, and fix. Just a thought.	/r/RedPillWives	19/12/16 12:31 PM
1	My Husband Lies to Me - Laura Doyle I think that's a really interesting point about how sometimes, men lie as a result of past relationships. My husband very rarely lies to me but when he does, it's always to protect his pride: like, he doesn't want to admit that he made a mistake at work, or that he screwed up in some minor way. It is always about something that I really don't care about at all. So I've come to the realization that in the past, his mother, and exes, berated him for making dumb mistakes. It's too bad because you k…	/r/RedPillWives	17/12/16 11:02 PM
1	Grati-WEDNESDAY! First, I'm grateful to the women on this site, who've helped me get my head straight when I was feeling stressed and angry at my husband about travel plans. I can't tell you what a huge relief this was. I'm grateful to my husband, for all kinds of reasons. We recently had a really useful talk about how to cope when we're both feeling overworked, and I feel extra close to him ever since. He seems so happy lately too -- working hard and then coming home with a big grin on his face and balloons for…	/r/RedPillWives	15/12/16 09:16 PM
2	Female Sexual Strategy Yeso, I think a lot of women simply forget to make finding a (high quality) mate into a priority. In fairness I think marriage is trickier than it used to be. In my parents' generation most men assumed they'd eventually get married and have kids...whereas in my generation, especially in big cities, more men are deciding to stay single. This means there's much more competition for marriage-minded men. This doesn't mean there's not still plenty of great men who want to get married. But it means ma…	/r/RedPillWives	13/12/16 10:00 PM
2	Free Friday - December 09, 2016 Hi all! I've been realizing that sometimes when I think I'm being a great wife, I am actually just playing the part of what I think a wife should do: cooking good food, cleaning and organizing the house. And in fact, that's not what my husband wants. I mean, he loves good food, but having a cheerful wife who takes an interest in his work and his hobbies is SO MUCH more important to him than a clean house. (Thank goodness...) Does anyone else fall into this kind of role playing?	/r/RedPillWives	09/12/16 11:04 PM
1	Simple Questions - December 03, 2016 : ) thank you!	/r/RedPillWives	05/12/16 11:13 PM
1	Simple Questions - December 03, 2016 What do people mean by "managing the finances"? I'm sorry if I'm being naive. Our finances are very simple -- a certain amount goes to rent, a cer tain amount goes to bills, a certain amount goes to my student debt, and a certain amount goes to savings accounts. Oh and there's a set amount for food / household necessities and for walking-around money for both of us. This is all pretty fixed. I always get confused when people talk about handling the finances. What does it mean? What are we missin…	/r/RedPillWives	05/12/16 06:20 PM
1	Sharing the load when it comes to making and running a home My husband works long hours, and I'm a SAHM, so I do most of the basic housework : the cooking, cleaning, meal planning, and grocery shopping, and of course the child care. We are now homeschooling our eldest so I do the bulk of that, although my husband has always done a lot of fun, informal teaching with him, which I think is why he is so easy to teach now : ) We send the laundry out to be done, and my husband handles dropping it off and picking it up. When there's a laundry emergency (kids pu…	/r/RedPillWives	05/12/16 04:24 PM
7	Feeling unmotivated after husband's comments You sound like a lovely wife and I'm sure that's why he feels comfortable opening up to you! Look, adult life is hard. I've been basically tantrumming in a separate post for a few days because I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities and limitations. So I feel for your husband. Can you find small ways to make him feel freer? I don't mean just helping with his work or his duties, I mean having some pure fun...going out for drinks together, or playing silly games, or encouraging him to go out with f…	/r/RedPillWives	03/12/16 05:20 PM
3	How to respectfully disagree? There will always be disagreements of one kind or another. Ive had plenty of arguments with my husband that I thought were never going to be solved. Some of them we solved by talking...others kind of shifted on their own, through time and patience...others still rear their heads up now and then, but we live with them. Talking to other women can help, too.	/r/RedPillWives	02/12/16 01:37 AM
4	Tips on being a better housewife? Maybe it would help to identify a few areas of the house that matter most to your husband? Then you could start by keeping those areas as clean and neat as possible, which would be less overwhelming than trying to keep the whole house sparkling clean...	/r/RedPillWives	30/11/16 05:34 PM
4	Tips on being a better housewife? Ugh I struggle with motivation alllll the time. I have only 2 kids, but also a work-from-home job and I don't get to the deep-cleaning nearly as often as I should. I'm working on being more realistic with my goals. Instead of spotless, I am going for reasonably clean and organized. As long as things are superficially clean and we know where everything is, my husband and kids will be happy. And my relationship goes a lot better when I put my energy into hanging out with my husband, keeping up wit…	/r/RedPillWives	30/11/16 01:54 PM
3	Any tips and tricks on how to make Christmas special for little ones! My kids love helping to decorate the house before holidays...it's fun and it makes them feel involved. We make paper chains and snowflakes to hang around the house. We bake gingerbread cookies for the tree. Keep it simple, and don't worry too much about the final product, the idea is to have fun and make the kids feel like theyre participating.	/r/RedPillWives	30/11/16 12:50 PM
2	Could you advise me on my I think you need to let go of wanting to be "normal". And stop worrying about whether the people in your life are "normal" or "damaged" -- everyone's version of normal is going to be different, and some of the bravest, most inspiring people are those who've learned to live a successful life in spite of some damage. Look for loyalty, warmth, and a sense of community in your friends. Don't worry about what you think is normal. Accept your own differences. Accept your need to be with someone as qui…	/r/RedPillWomen	26/11/16 02:03 AM
2	Struggling to find contentment Even the most loving, nurturing wife and mother is still going to have moments of anger and frustration. I think the key is to find a healthy outlet for that occasional negative energy so that it doesn't damage our relationships with our husband's and kids. For me, writing about politics helps -- or running -- or even just listening to certain music. Just accepting those dark moods helps me a lot. This is also a good reason to drag yourself to mom groups. Even if you don't make friends there, yo…	/r/RedPillWives	23/11/16 01:29 PM
2	Any young aspiring housewives on here, sick of being alienated? I hear you...I've always been neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring too. I'm a SAHM who also works (almost entirely from home) and writes. I'd get depressed if I didn't have some analytical work to do -- and I'd also risk losing one of the languages I speak to my husband in. But I'd be miserable if I had to go out and leave my kids all day. I suppose I'm in the traditional camp because I really believe in being at home, keeping the household running. But my passion isn't only in house and f…	/r/RedPillWomen	22/11/16 02:28 AM
1	Struggling, ladies. Sadly, I can relate to this and have done the same thing to my husband...I'm an introvert too and yes, life can get overwhelming, and I sometimes find myself saying no to too many of my husband's ideas of family fun. He's very patient and understanding but I still don't think it's right. Sharing the little stuff keeps us close and makes it easier to talk about the big stuff. Like you, I need time alone. But for me, it works best when I make that time alone productive: when I tun, or write, or ca…	/r/RedPillWives	21/11/16 02:17 AM
2	Nag-Jar: Come update us on your Jar Thanks for this! That garbage house conversation was really useful for me -- and so is this. Thanks for making it so detailed and full of examples. If I think of more questions, I will ask : )	/r/RedPillWives	17/11/16 05:21 AM
2	Nag-Jar: Come update us on your Jar Ladies, maybe this is a silly question but, how can you tell the difference between making a reasonable request and nagging? I mean, isn't there a fine line between "communicating" and "nagging"? I know there's a difference, I just sometimes struggle to put my finger on it!	/r/RedPillWives	16/11/16 11:49 PM
2	The SMV Challenge Thanks for all the suggestions! I'll have to look around for some belted tunics, I think. I live in a mid-sized apartment building: there's a live-in superintendent who cleans and maintains the building. He ajd his wife have to be one of the happiest couples I know. I see them working together, teasing each other and chatting all day. And you know, she is ALWAYS dressed beautifully, even when she's mopping the lobby floor. Him, well, not so much...but I'm sure he appreciates her effort.	/r/RedPillWives	15/11/16 09:32 PM
3	The SMV Challenge I'm in! Although this also means I'll need to step up my wardrobe... Does anyone have any thoughts on how this challenge applies to hanging out at home? I mean, sometimes it's hard to figure out what to wear when my husband and I are at home in the evenings. I don't want to be a schlub in sweatpants but I also feel silly wearing dressy clothes at those times.	/r/RedPillWives	15/11/16 12:32 PM
3	How can a wife be responsible for decision making while still giving her husband honor and respect? This is lovely advice. Thank you! While I don't face this particular issue, I think this works as a template for a lot of marriage issues...it's a really nice answer for how to be respectful at times when our men are less than perfect : ) Can I just say, I really feel for the OP. It looks to me like she's just realized her guy isn't ideal but she loves him and wants to make it work anyway. Good for you!	/r/RedPillWives	11/11/16 01:38 AM
7	Blue Pill is putting magic before accountability. Beautiful post. I have been reading reddit relationships and wow. It is amazing, this attitude that men have a duty to serve women, but the women don't owe the men anything. I know people in real life who share this entitled attitude. And then they wonder why the man seems checked out of the relationship. And they keep hunting for the mythical man who will take care of them and love them but demand nothing in return : ) As you say, relationships aren't magical constructions! Edited to add words	/r/RedPillWives	08/11/16 04:33 PM
4	How do I deal with my Jungian animus? I'm a little fuzzy on this but I think the idea is to find a way to integrate the animus into your own personality. The Jungian animus represents the "male" aspects of a woman's personality. Take ownership of them. Allow them to complete you. Then you'll be ready to meet a real man.	/r/RedPillWomen	06/11/16 12:58 AM
3	Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it up Hi! I'm not a regular here so I don't know if this is strictly RP advicr. But it sounds to me like you resent your boyfriend being so attached to Ryan. You resent the fact that he will drop everything for Ryan and will plan his whole weekend around Ryan's whims. And now he is doing it in a more public way, so that your friends will see it. But here's the thing. We all have old friends, or family members, who make us feel silly and wild and free. And it sounds like Ryan is that guy for your boyfr…	/r/RedPillWives	29/10/16 04:16 PM
3	Absent minded professor I totally agree about not trying to change our men : ) We all have our downsides dont we. It's just a question of being honest about them and finding a way to live with them.	/r/RedPillWives	29/10/16 01:10 PM
2	Absent minded professor So true. And I think you ladies are right about the honey-do lists. This is such a nice positive site...	/r/RedPillWives	29/10/16 01:09 PM
6	Absent minded professor Thanks for this! I really appreciate the sympathy and the very helpful, concrete advice. I'm going to implement it. Maybe setting up better routines will sort of automate the running of the household, so that I don't start to feel like the rug is slipping put from under me and I need to be rescued and oh lord why is my man not rescuing me this instant! : )	/r/RedPillWives	29/10/16 01:08 PM
3	Absent minded professor I love that. Garbage house of love! I'm going to start thinking about my wobbly table of love.	/r/RedPillWives	28/10/16 06:17 PM
2	Absent minded professor : ) I'm glad I'm not the only one. Garbage house! That gave me a good laugh.	/r/RedPillWives	28/10/16 06:07 PM
2	Absent minded professor Ha thanks! I know you're right. It is not worth the stress. I guess I get anxious when I see a broken drawer or whatnot. I think, oh no, how do I get it fixed, what if the whole place starts falling to pieces, etc etc etc. And then it stresses me out if I'm the only one who even notices. I wouldn't say I've exactly abandoned who I am, because I so love most of what I do. Being with my kids, teaching them, playing with them, cooking. I do have immense trouble with the pragmatic stuff. I guess I n…	/r/RedPillWives	28/10/16 05:57 PM
1	Seeking advice about how to change my reactions/mentality to better benefit my marriage (as is). Not about OP's issues, but if I may make an observation. I like to lurk on all the Red Pill sites. Seems to me that this is a major difference between RPWives and the other RP sites. Married Red Pill is for all kinds of men, dealing with all kinds of marriages. But RPW is really only for women in relationships with good men. I suppose it's because of the power dynamic?	/r/RedPillWives	21/10/16 01:54 AM
2	Be His Soft Place to Land This is lovely. Thanks.	/r/RedPillWives	09/10/16 02:38 PM
2	Be His Soft Place to Land Well, I suppose feeling busy and important is an ego boost. And tackling a tough job, seeing it through. I don't know about anyone else but when I feel really overworked, like at times when I've had to be a mother and also work outside the home, I deal with it by amping myself up. It's almost like a sugar high. It is not a soft feeling. I don't know if this is clear. I don't see any ego boosts from option 1. Of course it is more beautiful and admirable.	/r/RedPillWives	08/10/16 08:14 PM
2	Be His Soft Place to Land I understand. This is not easy, I agree. Option 2 has a lot more ego gratification than option one. Option one is beautiful. But how do you manage without those ego boosts?	/r/RedPillWives	08/10/16 04:45 PM
6	Be His Soft Place to Land But what if that older woman had been needed at the store? What if she didn't have the option of quitting the store, because her husband needed her help? And what if Jenny had no choice but to juggle the farmwork with home and children? It's tough being a soft place to land when you yourself are overworked. I'm not trying to be cantankerous. I'm curious what you think.	/r/RedPillWives	07/10/16 09:29 PM
1	He doesn’t say ‘thank you’ anymore I believe you are right! Thank you. This is deep.	/r/RedPillWives	07/10/16 08:36 PM
2	He doesn’t say ‘thank you’ anymore Devil's advocate here. When I do nice things for my husband it's because I want him to feel loved. And when he shows appreciation, that tells me he gets that I'm making a loving gesture. When he stops thanking me, I figure he's not registering the gesture as an act of love. So I start looking around for a new way to make him feel special. Don't know if that makes sense.	/r/RedPillWives	07/10/16 02:25 AM