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[–]Littleknownfacts3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The best way to apologise is to not repeat the behavior, I don't have any direct advice for that, but I know the other ladies will surely have some suggestions. After that, try to make it up to him, make his favorite dinner tonight or give him a surprise BJ (or both). Lastly, after saying 'I'm sorry', tell him 'thank you'. For his patience, for his kindness, for his forgiveness.
[–]callacaroline 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"The best way to apologize is not to repeat the behavior..." I love that; thank you.
[–]Goingdowntheroad 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's tough!
Next time, maybe try asking him for help BEFORE you get too overwhelmed and emotional. For me, it works best to ask for help with something specific (could you handle the toddler while I get dinner ready?).
If he says yes, thank him and obviously do not criticize how he's helping. Don't hover and give helpful suggestions about how the one year old should be played with or what he should be eating etc etc...
If he says no, well, it is his day off and he probably needs some time to himself. Make yourself a cup of coffee, put on some music, get your work done and make sure you have a little time to yourself while the toddler naps.
[–]callacaroline 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good reminder to ask for specific help. We have a 6, 5, 3, and 1 year old so I feel like I ask for help a lot... But you're right, a simple request ahead of time is better than expecting him to be a mind reader. (He actually said, "But you didn't ask me to do anything.")
[–]i_have_a_semicolon27 | Engaged | 7 years1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I find expecting a guy to just know you need help is a hit or miss. Sometimes he notices and it makes you feel great that he loves you so much to lend a helping hand unprompted. But that's doing extra which isn't what we are entitled to. It's always great when a man does that but if we need help, we should just ask nicely. Otherwise he's just using his time the way he sees it and thinks you're doing the same.
[–]Irisandoleander 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The most sincere apologies are simple and to the point. It is then your behavior AFTER the words that speaks the most.
No buts, no explanation - Apologize and move on. Then strive to do better.
[–]callacaroline 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Avoiding explanation was much easier after I explained myself here, haha. Thanks!
[–]HappyWifeLifeX 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you should take a break from the rigorous schedule YOU have YOU on. It seems to be breaking you and stealing your joy. Do half the dishes and then play with your kiddo. Then do some more dishes later. Play more, laugh more, let go of the drive to have everything perfectly done on a schedule.
The heart of an apology is acknowledging an issue and fixing it so that it doesn't bleed out onto someone else again. Fix your stress level to fun level ratio and the rest will correct itself.
:)
[–]RedPurpleWhite 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In addition to what others have said, have you tried bringing him your problem: namely that you don't know how to handle out of whack hormones in addition to raising the kids, managing the household, and being a loving partner. Maybe he'll have some suggestions on what would work best for both of you during this period of instability
[–]violetpiecrisis1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A real apology is structured with saying sorry, acknowledging what you did to lead to this situation, and your plan to rectify it moving forward. Then, stick to your promise to be better. We all make mistakes (especially when stressed) but make sure you're staying self aware.
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[–]Littleknownfacts3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]callacaroline 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Goingdowntheroad 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]callacaroline 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]i_have_a_semicolon27 | Engaged | 7 years1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Irisandoleander 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]callacaroline 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HappyWifeLifeX 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPurpleWhite 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]violetpiecrisis1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link