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eliza_schuyler Archive

View 9 posts and 125 comments by eliza_schuyler on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I agree that the Muslim example is not one to be exemplified. This sentence in your comment jumped out at me: plenty of women are very eager to marry and settle down and are not able to find men willing to commit. And I wonder whether giving men more rights over their wives (or rather, taking away the restrictions on their rights) might increase the number of men willing to marry?
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 11:16 PM
4

I agree with you re: the ridiculous restrictions and governmental overregulation I think it's interesting that you view this as having an Islamic genesis. Do you think that, without the government intervention, the idea of women having a guardian is something that would fit into western ideals?
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 11:12 PM
1

That's very interesting Sunhappy. I think that most women today enjoy their autonomy. However, are we the best people to decide whether or not it is good for us, or for society as a whole?
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 10:47 PM
1

Lady_Baker, the origins of this idea were definitely long before Roosh. The biblical implications are very interesting. Do you think that this "thread" of the Bible is underemphasised in modern religious teaching? It is beyond my scope to state whether we are innately less capable I fully agree that this is not a choice women can make, as it is based on women not being capable of good choices! I'm not sure how a transition would work. To my mind, it would involve the disintegration of current so…
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 10:46 PM
4

I wonder what the effects of removing existing regulations, rather than adding more in, might be. Many women would have choice removed without the protections of state enabling her choice. Perhaps less regulations might lead to a more "natural order" of society.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 10:39 PM
3

How exciting! Thank you so much for sharing these fantastic posts. I am pleased to find I've read each and every single one, but am looking forward to enjoying them again in a re-read. This is such a lovely idea for this community. Thanks to everyone who has contributed such quality material.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 11:41 AM
2

People are the worst! I have actually had this type of thing happen to me, but not coming from anyone as close as in-laws. I agree with /u/cats_or_get_out that agree and amplify is a good way to go. Don't let it slide-let them know that you have made a conscious choice to serve your husband. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWives30/05/16 12:15 AM
6

When my love gets home, no matter what I am doing I stop immediately and go and greet him with a kiss. He frequently tells me this is why he loves me- "You are always happy to see me!" It reminds me how important he is to me, and how lucky I am to have him in my life.
/r/RedPillWives27/05/16 01:28 AM
3

A small win- yesterday we went down to the giant fruit and veg markets 10 minutes before close and managed to get two weeks worth of fresh goods for under $15. It's super busy and fast-paced and involves lots of pushing and shoving and calling out which is not really my personality at all! But it was fun and he was so happy afterwards he bought us a cheap meal and we sat in the park and had an epic conversation. Yay. A larger win- I've been organising us moving house. Today I managed to get an a…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:51 AM
1

I've found a few things personally, but the claimed benefits are a lot higher (for example, there's evidence to indicate it's the most effective treatment for hypertension, in conjunction with a low salt diet). For me though, there are psychological benefits (I'm not dependent on food, I don't eat habitually, I learn what it feels like to be actually hungry, etc.). These have lead me to have a healthier diet and healthier eating habits. I have also found a major physical benefit is lowered infla…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 12:32 AM
12

This post and its responses have really given me pause for some self reflection. I have come a long way over the past three years when it comes to covert contracts. The major thing that has changed our relationship for the better is me lowering my expectations. I lie. Getting rid of my expectations. That might sound terrible, like I am "settling" or "giving up". But in reality, I have learned that my SO does not owe me anything. I have established that he is a great guy, I enjoy his company and …
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 12:26 AM
3

Off topic, but I also do intermittent fasting. Have found that it has had great and obvious health benefits for me (outside of losing a few pounds when I first started) and helps me maintain a healthy weight.
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 12:00 AM
2

Haha, yes I agree but definitely wasn't having a dig at women who outsource cooking and cleaning... more at women who won't either provide sex OR allow their husbands to outsource...
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 04:46 AM
2

both my grandmothers' lives were filled with many obstacles, yet they were extremely resilient. They accepted challenges as they came and knew that they would resolve themselves eventually Both mine were exactly the same. I try to compare my struggles in with theirs when I feel myself losing perspective. It never fails to humble me, and improve my attitude. Thanks for sharing these life lessons, all four are gorgeous! <3
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 04:42 AM
2

"least said soonest mended" This is one that my family are very big on. It sounds like it would be very unhealthy, but in reality, taking things away to sort o
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 04:40 AM
2

It definitely emphasizes the point of fundamental responsibilities Interesting how we are okay with outsourcing 2 of our 3 fundamental responsibilities if we don't feel like doing them ourselves...
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 04:37 AM
3

My nana also always told me never to leave the dishes until the morning. When I first left home I never took this advice, but now I find it so lovely to wake up to a clean kitchen.
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 04:32 AM
10

I’ll kick this off with: “Worry about your own story “(A CS Lewis quote, I believe) was something my mother used to quote at as continually as children when we were more concerned with our siblings’ misbehavior than our own… Clean up after yourself as you cook a meal. Don't leave everything to after dinner- you won't feel like it then! Listen to old people. Like sit down and really listen and try to understand where they are coming from, how their life experiences have led to their unique perspe…
/r/RedPillWives21/05/16 12:49 AM
3

I have actually read quite a number of studies that have found novel variation in organisms with short generation cycles such as bacteria. I can give you some links to these if you are interested, but again, I don't want to "convince" you out of your beliefs, but merely to understand your perspective. I do agree with you that the vast number of mutations have deleterious effects. Due to natural selection, these mutations would normally be lost quickly from the gene pool. I think it will be inter…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 03:39 PM
3

The wiki does state that RPW is for the discussion of sexual strategy from an anti-feminist, traditionalist, and/or evolutionary psychology perspective. I think that a greater understanding of evolutionary psychology (and biology too!) can help us to put concepts like hypergamy into a very real scientific context. I remember when I first learnt about Bateman's Principle it really gave me pause for thought about how human societal structure and norms have developed from very primitive, core biolo…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 03:28 PM
4

That makes sense. So you accept the ideas surrounding genetics but you are skeptical of mutation resulting in useful, novel genetic material? Just trying to get the gist of the idea.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 03:18 PM
4

This is very interesting. Again, I'm also reluctant to engage in a "debate" per se, and definitely do not want to push the limits in regard to subreddit rules. I do wonder, however, about your beliefs surrounding genetics. It sounds like you do believe that genes are passed down from parents to children. I'm curious- do you subscribe to the theory of natural selection? In other words, do you think that genes that result in traits that give an organism a survival advantage are more likely to be p…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 03:11 PM
2

Thank you so much for sharing these articles! The children-as-a-religion article was fascinating. The parallels truly are obvious. Reading this article and thinking more deeply about my upbringing and how I would want to raise children has made me more determined to aim for a marriage centred future. The Gottman research is fascinating, particularly the idea about "bids" for attention. I'm going to look into it more deeply when I have more time. Empirical evidence when it comes to the human psyc…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 02:39 PM
6

They couldn't possibly have made more mention of that vacuum cleaner could they?! That's what I was thinking through the whole thing! Cause you know... robot vacuum cleaners are pretty cool but I sure wouldn't sell my soul for one. Almost makes you think she must have had an ulterior motive...
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 11:59 AM
15

This article is really interesting. I agree with what she is saying. I think it shows respect to your partner and your relationship to maintain your attractiveness. That said, that is just one aspect of being a good wife. It shouldn't necessarily be the highest of your priorities, depending on what is needed and wanted by your SO at any particular time during your relationship. (My SO would rather I was on time for a dinner date than that I had straightened hair, for example!) However, the autho…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 10:34 AM
3

Thanks for sharing this BSC. I totally agree, and feel fortunate that this was the type of environment in which I grew up. Do you think you would specifically explain this to your children? I personally grew up with our parents telling us they loved everyone in the family equally (which was definitely true) but in actions it was evident that they were each other's first priority (with no detriment to us, I should add). As I got older, I realised this is not how all families work. A part of me wi…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 02:24 AM
2

Your answers are very similar to what mine would be, I think. I'm assuming that this It would probably be enforced more so, not less. Means that children would not become the centre of the universe, and the idea of a family unit with a paternal leader/captain would be taught to your children? Also, I totally agree that culture is observed, but how would you counter the external influences of culture that your children would observe. Would you discuss these influences with them? Would you portray…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 01:20 AM
1

You have received some awesome advice in all of the other comments. I just wanted to add my two bits, which is this. No matter how often you praise him and try to build him up, a single criticism will tear down all your hard work. It's just the way the mind works in people with low self esteem. I'm in no way implying that you are critical of your husband, but in day to day life it's easy to become frustrated about a small thing and make a minor, snarky comment. Most people might brush that off, …
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 12:26 AM
3

I've found that losing weight and doing plenty of squats and step-ups are the way to go for me. Yoga has also helped by engaging my core abdominals in an isometric type of exercise. Thanks for sharing all this information, it's all so interesting and useful!
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 12:17 AM
4

Yes! We also live in houses that we can't paint or majorly redecorate. I have found that floor rugs, curtains, and nice cushions on the couch are a great start. To be perfectly honest, the thing that has most turned our house into a home was purchasing our own piano! Seems random, but it somehow anchors our house into something permanent and ours.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 12:09 AM
3

This is a great post! I'm very excited for this and further updates. I love how you've linked these to female archetypes and fictional examples. It makes the relationship dynamics very easily relatable. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives19/05/16 12:08 AM
8

This is such a great post. I like how you've gone into great detail over this particular incident, and yet it's obvious how you can and do apply most of these principles to your everyday life. The compliments my husband has given me, or told other about, are things that I have not heard in years. Congratulations! You are doing so well!
/r/RedPillWives18/05/16 10:35 PM
3

this is his LIFE. If she wants to spend forever with him, this is what her weekends will look like. This is such an important point. If you really don't enjoy doing what he likes to do, and you are planning on "changing" that, then it is best to break up! But hopefully you can find some joy in what he loves.
/r/RedPillWives17/05/16 12:22 AM
5

I love reading all these comments. You ladies are making me smile. I thank my lucky stars every day that I've found a man who puts all the thoughts of my wild mind into some sort of manageable perspective. That he works so hard and still has the energy to come home and laugh with me. And that we both find joy in the most mundane of times, like standing in a checkout queue together! He's the best human I've met.
/r/RedPillWives16/05/16 11:28 PM
3

That sounds like so much fun! I love when you get to "play" as well as "adult" with your SO.
/r/RedPillWives16/05/16 10:52 PM
2

Fashion
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:45 PM
4

Read, read and read some more. Get off the internet. Train your brain out of its “instant reward”, skim reading habits. Start off with a magazine, poetry anthology or book of short stories. Work your way up to some full length non-fiction or novels. Check out the wiki for some RPW essentials. Relearn to focus deeply.
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:43 PM
3

Yoga is also super good for your mental health, as well as your physical! There’s some awesome starter yoga videos out on the wide wide interwebs. Check out Yoga with Adrienne’s 30 day starter course.
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:42 PM
5

Mental Health/Relaxation
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:40 PM
2

Homemaking
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:40 PM
2

Misc. Tips/Information
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:39 PM
1

I hope it works out for you! Please keep us updated :)
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:09 PM
3

Haha sorry! I have a tendency towards essays...
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 10:18 AM
7

I'm new here too, and I'm sure many users can better explain this to you. However, from my understanding, "The Red Pill" does not equal "Red Pill". In other words, you can be red pill, without subscribing to all the ideas promoted in the TRP subreddit. I should add here that this subreddit (unlike /r/redpillwomen) is not affiliated with TRP. Rather, it is based in the early manosphere and red pill ideas. From the wiki: We align ourselves with the thinkers of the early years of the manosphere, an…
/r/RedPillWives12/05/16 03:35 AM
4

Hi /u/littleteafox. I know you've received a ton of feedback, but I just wanted to chime in and add my experiences. I think that being a perfect fit with any family is a fairytale. I know for sure that I'm not even a perfect fit with my own. But the thing about families are that they aren't perfect, but you have to love them anyway, and they have to love you back. To me, that's what family is, whether they are biological or bonus. My SO's family have always been kind to me, but I never felt as t…
/r/RedPillWives11/05/16 11:34 PM
3

This is a million types of cute and wonderful <3 But seriously, well done. Such compliments are not given lightly, and it's fantastic that he recognises your commitment.
/r/RedPillWives10/05/16 10:32 PM
3

Thank you so much for sharing this! I love how you have taken the headers from the Forbes article and rewritten them in a Captain/First Officer format. I love this post! It isn’t a bitch fest. It is a math problem at this point. Yes, yes and more yes! My SO loves problem solving, but hates circular whinging... I think this is the critical point, except perhaps for... Once your man has told you what you should do… DO IT. Do it then. Do it now. Do it ASAP. Do not hesitate. It's so easy to fall bac…
/r/RedPillWives10/05/16 10:30 PM
2

because I love knowing that I've fed her well and made her day just a little bit easier Yay! This is one of the reasons I love cooking for my SO. Your question is very similar to what I was struggling with when I first moved in with my partner. what if she doesn't feel like eating what I've picked for the week? You say that she doesn't want to think about food. Do you think she would be open to looking over a meal plan and letting you know if it was all good with her? Otherwise, you've been livi…
/r/RedPillWives09/05/16 11:28 PM
2

I love this so much. Successful couples accept and understand that some conflict is inevitable, that there will always be certain things they don’t like about their partners or things they don’t agree with, and that this is fine. I think part of surrender is accepting your partner's flaws, and not becoming hung up on changing them. It's living in the present, and enjoying it. It makes for a peaceful and secure relationship. holy crap she makes me a better person even though I hated hearing it at…
/r/RedPillWives06/05/16 11:56 PM
2

This whole comment is just fantastic. I really admire women who handle being part of blended families, and women who can stand by their husbands/partners when the chips are down. You've really inspired me with your attitude towards some pretty tricky problems. (I can totally identify with the younger child "favouritism", I find certain ages of kids are a lot easier to relate to and form a relationship with than others!) I'm honestly so moved by this comment. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives03/05/16 05:34 AM
3

Hi margerym! I would also love some insights into entertaining in particular. But anything about marriage & kids like would be awesome! Can't wait :)
/r/RedPillWives01/05/16 11:37 PM
2

This is so awesome and comprehensive. I am madly in love with my lovely SO, and I wouldn't have things any other way. But if I hadn't had the good fortune to come across him at a young age... I would definitely have valued this guide very, very highly. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this up!
/r/RedPillWives01/05/16 05:09 AM
2

Thank you for sharing this! I have my verbal nagging pretty well under control but non-verbal... my goodness. Definitely needs work! EDIT: Particularly when in the car now I think about it...
/r/RedPillWives01/05/16 04:49 AM
4

I discovered red pill when a friend mentioned a "stupid subreddit with a matrix reference in the name"- turns out curiosity does kill the cat. Maybe it was a bad week, but I was bombarded with some interesting theories set amidst a wave of hatred against/anger towards all women. But I kept reading! The theories were interesting, and parts of them definitely rang true! And then I clicked a link on the sidebar to RPW... RPW made sense from the very beginning. I read the wiki and loved it. However …
/r/RedPillWives29/04/16 11:16 PM
3

This is such an awesome idea! I think I might give it a go :) My biggest problem is following up on something I have agreed to and then regretted- I struggle to be positive about it! "Yes" goes much deeper than just a word- the attitude of "Yes" is both essential and nourishing to relationships and self.
/r/RedPillWives29/04/16 01:15 PM
4

one of my goals is for my future children to see me in love with their father until the end of my days, for that spark to never truly fade, for there to never be any doubt that I am completely happy and fulfilled with my husband and family, and to have a family home full of warmth, love, and joy. This is absolutely beautiful. What a great aspiration. I definitely agree with you. I would say that my ultimate goal is to model a happy, healthy and loving relationship for our future children, as wel…
/r/RedPillWives29/04/16 12:11 AM
4

This is adorable and cute and breathtakingly composed! He was visibly surprised and tried to convince me of his way (nicely) for a few mins. I just smiled, and shook my head. I think I even said, no, thank you, once. You sound absolutely lovely. This would have been a tricky situation (at the time!) and it sounds like you handled it with such grace. I feel fortunate that I'm not planning to navigate this minefield again, but if I was, this would be the field guide to help me. Awesome!
/r/RedPillWives28/04/16 12:22 AM
4

Congratulations Camille. You've faced some massive challenges over the past week and handled them all with incredible grace, from what I gather. I am personally grateful for the effort you pour into RPW. I wish you the absolute best of luck as you continue to rebuild.
/r/RedPillWives27/04/16 10:30 PM
3

this is one of those niceties that used to be common place back when the world was more civil that has been lost in the new age of bigger, better, faster It's so fortunate that this nicety is still so well received today. Our mother used to get us to write thank you letters to anyone who had given us a present when we were kids. People loved it! I didn't realise it was unusual at the time. Thanks for the lovely post!
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 10:42 PM
4

Thank you so much! I'm still having arguments with reddit formatting but I think I'm starting to win. I'm trying to be even-handed with the "non-negotiable" stuff- I'm super lucky at the moment to have more time for home-making, but at other times in our relationship, I have worked full-time. The balance has to be up to you, I think. But I like the idea of setting aside a certain amount of time and getting as much done as possible in that time. I'm hoping to add posts on "Your Demeanour" and "Hi…
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 03:38 AM
4

This is an awesome comment! I have found that when the choice is coming home to a hot home cooked meal on the table or a clean house, it was always the hot meal that won out. I totally agree with this. Food>everything else! And most important in my book, you can give him something he will look forward to each day by instilling some type of ritual whether it is a family dinner hour or a bed time routine where he can catch up with his children and share in their day. Not having children, this is t…
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 02:07 AM
1

A week is better than a month. You should talk to a guy for as short a time as is practical. Around a week is probably good. Would you be willing to have sex on the fist date? It can be a good line to filter out those looking for an easy lay. I think that telling them you are looking for something serious could be very helpful. These are definitely the things you should be focusing on, rather than whether or not you've had sex before.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 12:21 AM
1

I don't know if you will take this advice, but personally I'd go with less time on texting, and more potential meet ups. Have a few vetting procedures in place (age, no sex on first date or whatever) and if they're still keen, meet up! If talking on the phone is an option, go with that over texting. But face to face is always best.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 12:13 AM
1

I'm also outside of the US, and I agree that OLD is a little different. However, choose a standard first date, like going to grab a coffee in a public space. If they're creepy or weird, write it off as a waste of an hour or so. If not, line up a second date.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 11:55 PM
1

That's fantastic. I can't recommend that Art of Charm podcast enough, either. It's to do with flirting for women, which is a fine art. Are you still online dating? I have a good friend who found the love of her life through OLD. She was 35, wanting marriage and kids, and within a year and a half she was happily married and pregnant. Waiting till 30+ may not be the ideal situation, but some men have figured out that women of this age are looking for a serious, committed relationship, and often ha…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 11:38 PM
3

Did you like the movie? It was alright. It was a good for some laughs, but definitely not an all time favourite, or even a re-watch. Favorite parts/quotes? I laughed out loud when all the beaten up men are sitting on a bench and the policemen gets David Lindhagen's name wrong, and three of the four men on the bench correct him, thanks to Cal's repetitive complaining! What did the movie get right? I think the reality of divorce on the children was well represented, especially at the point where t…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 11:11 PM
2

My husband went to a networking event and there was a ton of food and people were bringing home leftovers. My husband can't seem to think five minutes in front of his own face so the fact that he remembered he had a 5 months pregnant wife at home was shocking to me. Not so shocking? He left the food on top of his car. 😂😂 This is so cute! Totally something my SO would do. How lovely, and hilarious!
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 10:39 PM
10

*This too, shall pass. My grandmother, and then my mother, dish out the quote on the worst of bad days, but also the best of good days. Pessimistic as it may sound, it's true. It helps me get through the lows and treasure the highs.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 10:27 PM
6

Definitely no monk mode! Read Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Single, listen to the Kimberly Seltzer Art of Charm podcast and practice, practice practice. Go on many dates, be charming. Be the woman men want to spend time with! You will eventually find a man who is happy to find a woman who has a low n count, and is looking to be committed to her SO. Remember that it's a numbers game, and if you aren't meeting many men through your hobbies/work, continue online dating! (I'm sorry that you had a ba…
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 11:52 PM
5

Hehe be careful! It bites :P But fluid mechanics... Seriously...
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 04:31 PM
4

What a rant! That's pretty much what I thought, till I got to the second point (Opposition To The Speed Of Light) where rage was overtaken by hilarity...
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 04:27 PM
4

Some excellent feminist logic for you. Including point number 2 on this list.
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 03:15 PM
4

I'm also unmarried, and don't have children. However, I was raised in a very red pill style family. My understanding is that mothers should model the behaviour of an ideal wife. It sounds like you may already be doing that, based on your subscription to the complementary gender role mindset? From your post, it sounds like you are struggling to exercise the authority you need to, as a parent. Perhaps requesting that your husband speak to your sons about the need to respect your say. He might fram…
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 05:20 AM
4

Thank you for your post /u/stevierose345! I would love to hear more of your advice. It would be lovely if you could share some of your experiences of your marriage in a "Field Report" style post one day. I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge- it's awesome to hear from people further down the journey of traditional relationships and marriage. Keep posting, please! <3
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 04:15 AM
2

Thanks for the reply! I'm planning on posting a bit more in depth about keeping a reasonable home environment next week (after I finish off some assignments that are a lot less interesting than homemaking!), so please have a read and let me know if there's anything you'd like to read some more about! It's fantastic that you're starting to think about these things now, while you're single. I strongly believe that it's a lot easier to start the way you mean to finish in a relationship, so hopefull…
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 03:36 AM
3

Thanks so much for your kind words, and this excellent point! Is it alright if I include it in a future post, with username attribution? I love hearing how other women interpret and accomodate creating a soft place to land. I never would have thought to include this (completely true!) idea.
/r/RedPillWives22/04/16 11:03 PM
3

Thank you so, so much for sharing your knowledge! I think RPWives speaks a lot about investing in your relationship for the future, but slightly less about investing in your own appearance. I really appreciate the expert input! Please let me know if you come up with anything else! Is it ok if I put some of this in a future post? I will attribute to you!
/r/RedPillWives22/04/16 11:01 PM
3

I really hope this covers all the important points. It's a fine line between giving all the necessary information and overloading newbies who need time to absorb a bit at a time. I tried to even it out by adding some links to more info. Thanks for the comment!
/r/RedPillWives21/04/16 04:31 AM
3

I really try to avoid making any interaction a whinge. I think of it more as asking him for advice. I make sure I'm emotionally detached enough from the situation that I'm not going to cry or get angry, and I ask him in a respectful way, when I know he has time to chat about it. He likes problem solving! He enjoys working through the options together to come up with a viable solution. I am also a very independent person, and I think that aspect of co-dependency is something that he enjoys. I als…
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 06:41 AM
3

I think /u/tintedlipbalm and /u/BeautifulSpaceCadet have given some great info in their responses, I'd just like to throw my 2 cents in. My SO enjoys being involved in my decision making processes. Obviously not every little thing, but when something is troubling me he likes to be able to pose a logical solution. I benefit from his insight into a difficult situation, and we grow closer by sharing our trials and successes. He works long hours and we don't always get to spend a lot of time togethe…
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 06:12 AM
2

Well, now you have both awareness and openness to change, you should be able to meet your husband's needs more easily. How have you been going so far? Are you making some notes as you go?
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 06:06 AM
2

I managed to read the lot :) It's lovely to get an insight into the day-to-day goings-on of a RP relationship. You described many small moments where you chose to put aside an instinctual reaction that would lead to conflict, drama or disharmony and instead worked to create a peaceful and loving relationship. We are all fortunate to have a multitude of those opportunities each day, and reading something like this reminds me of that. Thank you for sharing!
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 03:11 AM
3

That's totally understandable. I assume you have already discovered the 5 Love Languages! Do some research and discover how you can best show him affection, if you need some ideas. This is what I mean by putting him as your focus for a week! It lets you rethink why you are doing certain things- are they for yourself, or for him? Then you are able to choose which "you" things you continue with, and which "him" things are super easy (or even just attainable) for you to do and keep doing them. You …
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 10:12 PM
8

To start with, check out the essential guides for this sub. Particularly /u/Kittenkajira's post on arguing and /u/TempestTcup's post on not letting your emotions rule your relationship. Secondly, I can see you are trying hard to make a change, but you are not seeing results. Try this change of tack. For one week, stop focusing on you, what you want in a relationship and how you feel. Instead, shift all your attention onto your husband. Aim to make him the happiest you possibly can. Laura Doyle g…
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 10:58 AM
3

The first step to making this better is taking responsibility for the problem, and it sounds like you have done that! Could you elaborate a little more on how the problem manifests in your life? Is the main issue that you struggle with making friends, or are your issues overflowing into your relationship? The more specific information that you can provide this sub, the more tailored to your situation the advice you receive will be.
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 09:11 AM
1

I've just started reading. I love it too!
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 03:46 AM
5

His sense of humour is excellent. I'm lucky to have a man who calls me out (in his own way) on my less-than-admirable qualities! I enjoyed reading all your words. I'm a bit of an information giver and often struggle with context when I'm writing. All the extra things you included gave a great perspective on your overall situation. There's only so many time a girl can read "I STFU and then we didn't argue," so I appreciate the personality of your post! I'll keep you updating on my ongoing driving…
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 01:39 AM
6

Thank you for your post /u/BeautifulSpaceCadet! I'm so glad you saw immediate positive results from your non-bitching week. I had a go at this challenge over the past week-and-a-bit as well. I don't have too much to report to be honest, as I have been trying to incorporate this habit for quite some time, and 99% of our interactions are very positive and respectful. However... driving is always a bit of a contentious subject! I'll share the only major screw up of my week, and how my darling futur…
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 01:16 AM
4

Ashley Nicole Roby: I don't have to swallow to be a good wife. Ashley Nicole Roby is probably right in her comment here. If she was great in bed, pleasant to be around and supportive of her husband in every way, not swallowing would probably not be a deal breaker. However, you only get so many "get out of jail free cards". I love this list, and personally subscribe to every point in our relationship. The behaviour doesn't necessarily manifest in the way the author describes, as every relationshi…
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 10:27 PM
2

I think giving yourself a buffer zone is well worth it. I am very good at it when it comes to my SO, and slightly less willing when it comes to the rest of the population!
/r/RedPillWives17/04/16 10:07 PM
5

I have had so much experience with this. You can only clean up someone else's mess so many times before that makes you as grumpy and resentful as nagging does! In our house, we countered this by setting some firm, non-negotiable rules. For example, we eat dinner early, and clean up after ourselves, so the kitchen is clean by 7pm. So we asked the housemate to make sure the kitchen is clean by 9pm each night (tell them it's to avoid mice or something if need be!). Then we wrote a list of what a cl…
/r/RedPillWives16/04/16 12:11 AM
6

These myths have been very disheartening to me, and definitely the flip side of discovering RP. Heading into a marriage which I know will be for life, I concluded that all I can do is make marriage beneficial for me and my man. Thanks for reinforcing that belief. This is a well-written, comprehensive post on a much needed topic!
/r/RedPillWives15/04/16 11:57 PM
3

I love "The Five People You Meet In Heaven." Have you read "Tuesdays with Morrie"?
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 10:12 PM
6

Thank you for sharing this blog post. I really enjoyed it. I like that it places responsibility for a happy marriage squarely on the woman's shoulders. The world tells women we are victims of circumstance, and this follows through to marriage, much to our detriment. I am fortunate to have the ability to please my SO. I love him and want him to be happy... So I am always looking for ways to make our relationship stronger and healthier. I'm looking forward to part 2 of this blog post!
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 10:10 PM
3

Thank you for this post. I enjoy reading high quality, well thought out theories, and I feel that this one holds up exceptionally well, as I can see it play out in relationships around me. I find it interesting that you have identified a "dominance threshold" in women, and I wonder if men have a "threshold" for any particular characteristics of women, or if male thresholds are more closely linked to their dominance level. I'm looking forward to learning more about this theory in the second insta…
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 02:42 AM
3

I agree- I'm not busy, but if I had more time, I'd be filling it with things that would be great for me and my SO. And yes, in the old system men worked very very hard, in order to support their wives and children. But if he had a good wife, he would be coming home each night to a clean house, a hot meal and a content family. I am a firm believer that time is the biggest gift you can give another person, and it is sad that our middle class is so time poor.
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 01:00 AM
3

Haha, great comic! I feel that internet feminists are the ultimate whingers who don't take action. Perhaps some non-internet feminists actually work to improve women's reproductive health in a 3rd world country, for example. But you can be certain that all the internet feminists are doing is making outraged videos and hoping they'll get enough advertising revenue to live off them. Which adds to their wage-gap argument, of course.
/r/RedPillWives13/04/16 10:39 PM
7

I agree, and alongside this point, I think something we have lost with the patriachy is people with time. I completely understand that society has set up a system where it is often impossible for a wife to stay at home and raise her own children; many families require a dual income to survive. However, I think in this system becoming the norm, we have lost something utterly invaluable. Having a person in a family with time to raise children under 6, time to care for ageing parents, time to cook …
/r/RedPillWives13/04/16 10:28 PM
4

One of the comments: "I love when feminists bitch about men occupying the top rungs of industry etc. but have a career bitching about shit on the internet..." The representation of internet feminists is... interestingly biased, and I feel it doesn't support their case in any way.
/r/RedPillWives13/04/16 10:12 PM
7

Very true. Poor word choice on my part. I think you are right, letting go of anger is the key, whether that is by letting it fly or letting it dissipate :)
/r/RedPillWives13/04/16 01:21 PM
6

I agree with your last point. I know that this is probably not the most RPW of behaviours, but I tend to take my anger away and stew for a while. Most of the time I realise I was over-reacting and it wasn't worth a fight. If I decide it was over something that was important to me, I can raise it again in a rational, balanced way, without being clouded by anger. My grandmother and mother raised me to "Least said, soonest mended," and I am trying to take that to heart. I am sure there is much to b…
/r/RedPillWives13/04/16 01:03 PM
6

Something I got from this was that spending hours putting on makeup and doing your hair before going on a date is going to be completely pointless if you have an unpleasant personality! And to extrapolate this into a LTR... If you let your negative traits run wild once you've "settled" into a relationship, it may not end well. I enjoyed this, thanks!
/r/RedPillWives12/04/16 10:14 PM
4

I really like this post. This is something I have to be very aware of. My fiancé tends towards disorganised, particularly with paperwork and bills. I've learnt how to be helpful (organising bills with the ones due to be paid first on top) rather than irritating ("you haven't paid it yet??"). I have also invested in a monthly planner that is making our week-to-week schedule run much more smoothly.
/r/RedPillWives12/04/16 10:11 PM
5

This is the edition that I have. Glad you enjoyed the quotes. I was pleasantly surprised.
/r/RedPillWives12/04/16 12:31 AM
3

Thanks for the feedback :) What do you mean when you say it worked on your so?
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 10:59 PM
3

Awesome, thanks for the feedback. I'm going to go for it I think! Is it very old-fashioned/outdated?
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 11:10 PM
3

Thanks so much for this! All the small situations that you mention sound so familiar and are a reminder of the thousands of opportunities we are given each day to be loving and grateful, rather than anxious, mothering and nagging. I love this post.
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 10:41 PM
4

I'm keen to try this too! Would love to compare notes with you :)
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 10:39 PM
7

Some more Star Wars :)
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 05:39 AM
4

I love your blog :) Definitely going to be a regular read. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 12:56 AM
5

Oh dear, okay, I think Camille was commenting to OP. I'm a bit clueless :) Lucky you ladies are so helpful! Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 06:11 AM
3

Awesome, thanks :) Is that just for links within the subreddit, or when linking outside as well? Sorry, new to reddit!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 06:08 AM
3

Hi Camille, do I just replace "www" with "np"?
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 05:57 AM
4

Have you read this thread? https://np.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4dc5i7/intro_to_girl_game_for_the_single_rpw/ I just finished reading, and it seems to answer some of your questions :)
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 03:03 AM
9

That last one... I remember reading a thread on TRP when I first started lurking. The guy said he didn't mind when women said "I don't care" because he took it mean "I don't mind." He offered one suggestion, and if they didn't take it, he said they needed to offer an alternative. Taking this on from a RPW perspective, I know my SO doesn't mind making decisions. Sometimes I really do NOT know what I feel like for dinner/what movie we watch. So I switched "I don't care" for "I don't mind" and alwa…
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 12:05 AM
2

It's very common to take a year off here in Australia- we call it a "gap year". I think there have been a few studies to show that students who take a gap year end up changing their course plans a lot less than students who don't take a gap year. But I have heard it is difficult in the US because scholarships are offered at the end of school and can't be deferred (?). Over here, you can defer uni offers and scholarships for one year with no penalty.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 11:57 PM
5

I guess I'm so used to it that it doesn't really offend me. And you can apply to have it shortened if you have a valid reason. But I must admit... there was a part of me that was "Oh my goodness we are engaged! Can we get married tomorrow?"
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 07:12 AM
4

It's amazing what a business the wedding industry has becoming (well, it has in Australia). Ours will be 7 months from engagement to ceremony to make sure all the important people can make it. But it will be a very low key affair, I think I would struggle to fill 7 months with wedding planning!
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:34 AM
4

It is very odd! I remember watching American television about people who decide to get married in Vegas and thinking... "Wait... how is that legal?" It sounds like maybe they announced the engagement a little after the wedding planning began? Especially if it turned out really nicely.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:32 AM
6

The minimum you have to wait to get married by law is 1 month (you have to submit paperwork 1 month before your wedding date). But actually, I know so many people who have very, very long engagements. In fact I would say the norm in my peer group would be 1-2 years! I think our wedding industry is a pretty epic machine as well, but I think it's possible to get a wedding package all done for you at reasonably short notice.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:26 AM
6

Where can I get me some poisonous spider bait?! I'm not sure how different our standard operating procedure is but I can give it a go.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:17 AM
6

I might start with HTIYM. I've done a lot of reading about SW ideas, but some of the HTIYM sounded new and very promising.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:12 AM
5

Thank you so much! I'd love to chat to you :) Congratulations on your engagement! I'm in Australia, I think the comparisons would be very interesting.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:11 AM
7

I haven't yet read Surrendered Wife. I'm very keen to though. Is the book you are reading "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It"? If so, I did some internet research on it this morning and it looks fantastic.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 05:57 AM
7

Thank you for your reply! I have loved any threads discussing Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife. I've also been most influenced by a number of threads that have discussed treating your SO as a "guest" and treating your SO better than you treat any other person in your life. I think it is too easy to fall into the trap of taking another person for granted, and we often treat our friends better than we treat our family. As to what I hope to gain from this sub- I'm most hoping to be regularly remi…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 05:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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