TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

BooksandEarlGreyTea Archive

View 7 posts and 325 comments by BooksandEarlGreyTea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

Indeed it is and I wish I know known that before I started dating. IME, if you don't have confidence and self-esteem before dating then you use it as a means of seeking validation and love because society pressures you to be in a relationship. You don't take the time to think about what you truly want in a relationship, what your deal-breakers are and how to spot red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:40 PM
28

It could be a confidence issue, I know I still do it at times even after working on my confidence and self-esteem. Even though I am slowly leveling up it is a bit of an ingrained habit, like saying sorry for no reason, as women are taught to make themselves small growing up. That said, working on your confidence and self-esteem is important and more important than dating IME
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:24 PM
55

That is a lot of words for I want women to be automatically given to men and laws changed so she can never leave him. And I will attempt to use religion and big words to hid my incel tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:04 AM
13

He already did the cheating part, the scrote made a post about visiting an escort
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 08:37 PM
154

His exact words were "throwing it into her", excuse me while I go puke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 08:21 PM
6

I had the exact same reaction, it is terrifying how many of them are crawling around and causing harm unchecked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:24 PM
10

When she mentioned what she gave up I had to pick my jaw up from hell. I wish I had known what I wanted to do for a career as a child/ teen and had the support to go get it. To hear how she squandered such an opportunity almost physically hurt. ​ I feel bad for her, you can see she is still burying her head in the sand like she used to do a kid. It seems now she is going around in circles in the same 24 year old mindset, it is hard to be there (I have done it) I also feel like she is willfully k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 05:57 PM
6

You're welcome =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:41 PM
44

It got a wry snort of derision from myself at the part about rich men dropping a women for better, because it is the truth. We have seen a lot of stories about ladies building with their man and him leaving her for another lady who has never seen him broke/ that low of an income. It really brings to mind the saying never a truer word spoken in jest. It is amazing what people will admit and then hide behind when they use humour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:03 PM
16

I hope you have a plan for getting out before his dick based decisions drag everyone down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 09:01 PM
7

Why am I suspicious his friend made a porn deep fake of the woman using her college photos? Surely his friend would have seen photos of her during the 3 years they were dating and her uploading photos to social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 08:06 PM
18

More scrote hypocrisy indeed, they hide stuff from us because they know they are deal breakers to us. But when the shoe is on the other foot they have to active a double standard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 07:20 PM
5

I am not sure why you are getting downvoted, you make a good point about Taylor giving him credits in her work and how if it was anyone else in FDS we would be asking why? Yes Joe is an unknown but I thought his lane was acting (which he started in 2015/16?) not music. Didn't Rihanna get disapproval for getting pregnant without being either married or engaged on this sub? ​ I do appreciate celebrity women are a a different level to us in terms of resources, so they might have to take longer to n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 10:22 PM
10

Physical characteristics I like about myself is the need for 2m distance at all times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 04:19 PM
28

Why am I now getting 50 Shades of Grey vibes from the lady you mentioned at the end? Even if you get a crush on someone you work with, you need to nip it in the bud and not share those thoughts publicly. Work places and romances are never a good idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:24 PM
42

It pisses me off that people excuse men by saying they have a mental illness, statistically those with mental illnesses not that likely if is it purely to do with mental illness https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/04/ce-mental-illness Stop excusing this and falling into a compassion trap, and hold them accountable!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 06:52 PM
5

Bryan Adams - Run to You I think is about him having an affair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:08 PM
11

I do appreciate this song exists, only because it was parodied to be about the UK Health secretary Matt Hancock being caught having an affair in lockdown. ​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPAoAMsJuxE&ab\_channel=MunyaChawawa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:07 PM
1

This resonated with me logically, but part of me feels as though saying I acted on based on past trauma is a way to avoid accountability because I didn't know any better. Apart from therapy, which I am in, is there anything in particular you found which helped you accept this and stop internalising stuff?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 09:54 PM
5

The UK government believes at 16 you are old enough to start making decisions about your life, so consent is 16 and you can leave home at 16 if you want to. And with parental consent you can get married at 16. You are right, the laws need changing here, especially as research has shown the average age the brain finishes maturing at is 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:26 PM
7

Even if she genuinely didn't know, she failed her daughter by not having a talk about sex and relationships, and discussing what is and isn't appropriate. I know my mum failed me by not doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:23 PM
7

It is kind of similar to what I went through (UK too). Looking back, think I was groomed since 11 by the pos. I can see the grooming happening to the lady's daughter around that age, especially since the issues track to the daughter turning 11/12. ​ Yeah consent is 16 here and tbh, I wish it would go up to 18. You can get married at 16 with parental consent here in the UK too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:17 PM
7

I read that, poor woman got so many comments about her being a terrible mother because she didn't fight for her kids and 'gave them up'. Yet if you read the post, the lady had no resources left to fight her ex and decided to give them all what they wanted (be with dad) and walked away. Then called a deadbeat for only pay child support, which is more than most deadbeat dads do. I don't blame her for walking away and protecting herself, it must have been such a rough situation for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:10 PM
3

Why am I now imagining the seagulls from Madagascar? XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 01:53 PM
68

A lot of women don't like heels because they are uncomfortable and it is been shown long-term wearing of heels actually shortens your calf muscles as they adapt to the unnatural position of your feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 10:41 AM
16

"Sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most" is reserved for accidentally snapping at them when you are stressed at it is a small thing which was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not cheating, the sheer audacity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 03:49 PM
12

Which is something I find hilarious. A lot of people struggle to understand statistics because it is based in the realm of probability, so is easier to manipulate, yet people tend to believe they are fact (when they aren't).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 02:25 PM
8

Haven't the creator of the show said they basically create episodes based on newspaper headlines, they are actually mirroring what is happening in the world?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 11:13 PM
26

Aka treat me like a toddler
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 10:44 PM
3

I wouldn't say lib fems are the fun kind of feminists; they are the people who are being exploited to make men happy, whilst wearing the blindfold of 'liberal feminism'. ​ Happy cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 08:17 PM
11

Lol, 'fake feminism' my arse. I remember reading a book published on feminism in the 90s talking about radical feminism and what they said then is the same as what this sub says. Clearly mods talking out their arse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 04:27 PM
3

The good old if someone has to tell you they are something, they are not what they are claiming to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 11:07 PM
66

As some who tried to read erotic fanfiction and original erotica, only to be put off by all the kink/ BDSM, rape, sexual assault and unbalanced power dynamics, I would be really wary of someone writes their own erotica. Sure it is not as bad as porn, since no living people are involved, but IME a lot of the consensual content is rather blatant and degrading. I once had a guy send some smut he had written way before FDS, it was as boring and straight to the sex as expected. No well constructed im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 10:49 PM
33

Don't worry about it, English is my only language and I still butcher grammar and spelling when I type too fast. I think it is amazing you can speak 3 languages
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 05:01 PM
61

The comment about 'how is that enough communication for you' is such a tell. They can't understand you are busy living your life and not sat around awaiting for him to deign to remember your existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:27 PM
9

Now I want to know if men are behind the femininity movement I have seen online, so much of it is about presenting as elegant and classy women. How much is women thinking they need to be this way to get men to respect them and how much is men wanting us to do their work for them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:01 PM
20

Yet will have a tamper tantrum if you expect him to respect your boundaries
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:33 PM
21

They tell on themselves so hard by saying "withholding" no sex is abuse; seriously scrotes, sex is not something which can be withheld because no-one is entitled to it! The only abuse happening is the sexual abuse you cause by expecting sex an coercing women into 'maintenance' sex. Thank you for making it clear you believe relationships are supposed to contain domestic violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:28 PM
2

I wasn't putting her on a pedestal, it just felt nice to see someone outside of FDS who seemed to share a similar level up story. I don't like putting celebrities on pedestals because they usually have a team of PR people to help them keep a good reputation or are in a position where they can be rewarded for poor behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 06:05 PM
7

I saw some snippets about the dating loser and homeless guys, followed by snippets about marriage and assumed she had a 'cool girl' phase like us and then leveled up. I did not know about most of that stuff. I feel super cheated right now; I was kind of feeling seen that there was this successful woman who had been brainwashed like me about the sex-posi-lib-fem stuff and that you can improve your standards to have a good life. Glad I have all you queens here to help me with that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:23 PM
5

Coercion isn't one step away from rape, it is rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:08 PM
2

I used to hate it because men were so low effort; I always saw them buying the same boring bunch of red roses and a cheapish box of chocolates. As you said, it is supposed to be about loving and celebrating your partner and I felt men didn't do that. They put no effort or thought into how to treat their girlfriend, so I wanted to spare myself the disappointment by avoiding the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:24 PM
22

Any by 'that' he means anything which adds to your life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 06:23 PM
34

Be happy. Which is backed by a study.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 01:09 PM
16

Wait, those are the ages of the people in this post????? What a predator if he started dating her at 18!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 04:16 PM
7

In July 2019 when I was typing a dating advice question (can't remember what) into Google, for a guy I had been dating for 4 month. This was the first result and I have hung around since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 07:44 PM
2

A scrote I used to work with once told me "the bigger the bunch of flowers, the bigger the trouble the man was in".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 11:53 PM
110

Translation: my boyfriend cried at the thought of having to do all the labour himself so pulled a manipulation tactic to keep you being his mommy-bangmaid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 05:22 PM
113

I can't tell if this is scrote delusion or an extremely terrible parody of FDS. Either way, men need to step their game up because this reads like they are looking for a teenager from a developing nation to be their gold-digging sugarbaby. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 02:26 PM
20

It is stories like these that make me wish all women would learn about lovebombing and how men mirror women in order to force a quicker connection. You can see how giddy she is over him on the first date and about how much they have in common that that is what he hit her with. Even if she hadn't said anything about sex after exclusivity, he would have treat her horribly and dropped her when he was bored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:59 AM
24

Yeah, that is what scares me. It being sent to ex-boyfriends and them having them kept on their phone, hard-drive and shared. Ooof, my wallet died that. I would like the think they wouldn't sink that low to keep them now the relationship is over, but you never know with men and can't trust them. I didn't send that many, but with deep fakes does it really matter any more?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:25 PM
184

Well the age gap explains a lot, he married her when she was 21 and still learning about who she was as a person. No wonder it was easy to say she could give up her job as she earned the least, she was at the beginning of her career at 23. ​ So she was pressured to give up her career, dream of being a mother and freedom so these 2 people can keep having an affair. There is no way something still isn't going on between them as they planned to attend a wedding together - signalling couple vibes an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:10 PM
39

It is stuff like this that makes me wonder about us ladies who sent nudes before we found FDS. Is there even a way to find if those images are on the internet and remove them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 07:51 PM
17

OMG This!!!!! This explains so much about why I ended up trying BDSM, the idea 'sexual dominance' was a man creating pleasure for me instead of using me. No wonder the scene bored me so much after a while, I was trying to have a completely different conversation and not even realising it. ​ Thank you, you wonderful queen! You have shifted my world view in such a positive way, and given me much to explore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 02:12 PM
35

Hasn't J.K Rowling admitted she wished she hadn't paired Hermione with Ron?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 01:09 PM
1

Assuming he broke up with her in the first place and wasn't trying to monkey branch to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 01:58 AM
4

I think it is a mix of moral and legal, though the legal part only comes into it if you were using fakes in business. E.g. the creation and selling of counterfeit goods. Mostly it is a moral issue, you are presenting yourself as something you are not - the lack of authenticity is not a good thing, and creates more doubt. I think it is worse for women because we are already lacking benefit of the doubt on anything (people love to negate our experiences) and people love to hunt for a woman's weakn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 06:28 PM
1

I really really wish the side effects of BC were more widely talked about. I went on the copper coil because a bf at the time was using condoms that kept breaking (and after my 3rd morning after pill in a few months I was done forking out for him - should have left then but I did eventually leave). That made my periods so heavy I was borderline anemic and needed to be on iron tablets after it was removed. I later switched to the hormonal coil and could feel it tanking my mental heath after a mon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:25 PM
19

As someone who sees a therapist specialising in sex and relationships, yes most of these 'sex therapists' are quacks and are probably pick-me women who genuinely think they are helping women (which is the scary part).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 10:18 AM
5

I wonder if women shy away from power because they are already being made responsible for everyone else anyway and it genuinely is another burden on them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 10:28 AM
27

What happened to self-preservation? I know when I was younger, naive and gave men the benefit of the doubt I had an incident where I was to fly out to see a man. The meltdown I had because my instincts kicked in and were telling me to run was something I will never forget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:30 PM
228

That is a lot of words for I am a shitty man who wants to exploit you in your time of need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:27 PM
50

I am sure I read somewhere girls go through a 'witch' phase because it is the only source of feminine power which is not tied to men in any way. I find it quite interesting that all over the world, we all seem to go through a similar interest in plants, crystals, herbs, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:07 PM
55

So they have confirmed Tajfel & Turner's (1969) In-group Out-group theory of prejudice and discrimination? Interesting to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 10:06 PM
312

Explains why they can all work together as a class to oppress women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 06:06 PM
3

It is frustrating to see, especially in the age of the internet when you can do a quick Google search to see if it is worth seeing a professional. ​ Is it petty I hoped the men who saw your disgust felt some shame? To let your health get to that point and not care about who you are hurting is such disgusting behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 09:34 AM
5

I almost threw up in my mouth at the smell of infected tissue bit, that is so gross! Also, how can you not work out if you are getting BV/ yeast infections it is because of community and or unwashed dick? I only ever had BV once, but I realised I got it because the guy I was with cheated on me. Or is this the whole give scrotes benefit of the doubt instead of the boot? Hahaha, bless those women for doing that to the scrote. Those queens are doing such amazing work!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 11:28 PM
14

Your friend is an amazing woman I give her a standing ovation for what she is doing!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:05 PM
40

You mean "excuse you" because she is not the one who is breaking etiquette/ seeking someone's attention. It puts you in the lower power position and makes you smaller as you are being nice and polite. If a scrote is insulting you by telling you what you are supposed to do or making demands, never say excuse me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 07:32 PM
27

She was drugged, raped, and killed (guessing from a combination of the alcohol and drugs) yet the guy who did all of these things is a 'nice guy'???? Can we yeet men into the sun now please? What a complete joke. It is so disgusting how she was failed by the police and they did nothing, even though there was overwhelming evidence something had happened. They didn't even have the decency to properly contact her family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 07:14 PM
3

Run like your tampon string is on fire!!! ​ I have been in a 10 year age gap relationship, pre FDS of course, and I don't recommend it at all - they are just using you and will happily keep taking from you in lots of ways. It is all about them and boosting their ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 07:05 PM
9

*laughs in UK* No, there are plenty of places were you can live well earning less that 50k.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 04:40 PM
3

To quote Taylor Swift "boys only want love if it's torture"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 10:45 PM
22

Unfortunately this is not only with men, but with pickme's too. They will happily walk all over you, turn a blind eye to scrotes bothering you and might even offer you up to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 09:31 PM
16

I have heard that but I can't say I know much about investing. I currently invest some money through a professional broker for retirement but now I am wondering if it is worth looking into investing in the industry I am currently working in. If you have the time, is there any advice you would feel comfortable sharing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:55 PM
151

Say this is real - this is why FDS recommends having an alt account, he now has access to our playbook and could use it to manipulate her if her wanted to. At least here, he is looking to leave, Also, I find it creepy he stalked through her post history once he knew her reddit account. Feels like he was fishing for something to use against her. ​ Edit: just done some quick fact checking on this subreddit & am unable to find a post about about splitting the bill on a date from 7 months ago. Defin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:38 PM
235

Translation: "As a women who is in desperate need of money, I am going to say positive things in order to get clients, even though I would rather be telling them to go fuck themselves"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 10:01 AM
70

I hope these scrotes know the 'box' I put most men in is the bin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 09:04 PM
41

I don't understand why sex work is being pushed/ talked about in universities. The only thing I can think of is if it is because students are doing it after libfem brainwashing as a way of getting extra cash and now are attempting to do something about it? ​ My worry is this means either students are receiving terribly low maintenance loans which don't cover all their living costs or they don't fully understand how the UK education system actually acts as more of a Graduate tax than a debt you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:21 PM
45

Tried that, voted on it back in 2010 I think, the Liberals wanted to lower if from £3,000. then they jumped into bed with the Conservative party and ended up trebling the price to £9,000. ​ Edit: also want to add student loans here actually work as a graduate tax, you only start paying for them when you are in a job which is at a certain salary threshold. Believe it is currently around £27,000 for current students. Then gets wiped if you don't pay it all off after so many years, maybe 40?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:11 PM
58

We voted in Boris Johnson and for Brexit, the UK has been publicly clowning for a few years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:10 PM
63

That is a scrote roleplaying as a women. Women don't call themselves females and I am sure they don't watch porn to finish if they are left high and dry. Also look at how quick they are jumping to defend porn, claiming to be body shaming men and to falsely equate it to using toys (and imagination).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 09:39 PM
36

Thankfully none, I have never enjoyed what is sold as 'romantic' or 'rom-coms' because I have always found the whole things to be so cringe. FDS let me know why exactly I was cringing at the LV behaviours on display.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 05:20 PM
39

I can understand you resentment, that you were genuine in your relationships and they weren't. They manipulated, took advantage, fed you lies, strung you along and treat you as less than dog muck. I am early 30s and I still feel the same too. Not as much as I used to in my late 20s, I have therapy to thank for that. It still pops its head up now and again, that those NVM were completely comfortable with being such terrible human beings and that they also had people believing they were 'nice guys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 01:00 AM
8

Thank you so much for reading my reply, it was a bit of an essay. ​ I know what you mean, healthy skin and looking after it is important. I think everyone should be doing the basics and slathering in spf. The boom in the Korean 10 step skincare routine and rise of different serums, essences, masks, etc is a bit worrying. It is so much product being produced and it feels wasteful to me to have so many different steps. I can understand a specific treatment if you do have a skin issue you want to w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:23 AM
15

I know if someone tried this with my mum she would tell the cashier to cancel the whole lot and walk out, that is queen energy. You are going to be embarrassed either way, might as well save yourself financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:56 PM
53

If she isn't sharing her legal name and finances then she is definitely sitting on a pile of money and success. She is behaving the way she is to avoid gold-digging men who will use her and most likely her family name. I wonder if she testing him to see if he will step up to her level and preparing to ditch him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:19 PM
10

It is not a problem at all, I ended up with my long comment to OP because it is a complex topic and makeup feeds into other areas too. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me =) ​ I have never really cared about beauty rituals before, in fact the vast majority of makeup I don't care for and have since 11/12 - seems a lot of effort to apply a full face of makeup daily. Personally I like the extra time to sleep instead of taking time to put on a full face of makeup and do my hair - I am very …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:00 PM
23

It is stuff like this which makes me frustrated with academia. You claim to teach people the think critically, yet lots of academic research is rife with a complete lack of critical thinking in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:33 PM
13

Now I am getting flashbacks to that Hannibal tv show episode
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:26 PM
19

I think you said what I was trying to get at in a much more succinct way, I ended up with a long winded essay. On point I would like to chat about, if you have the time is changing on behaviour. Currently I like brow products, eye shadow and lipstick. Whilst I can happily give up the first two, lipstick is something I do enjoy wearing and like on myself. I find it a quick and easy way of adding something which barely takes and time, money or effort. What would be a radical feminist take on just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:07 PM
24

What helps me is my genuine dislike most makeup and the time it takes to put it on, I would much rather be sleeping than faffing about with hair and makeup for at least 30 minutes to get ready. I have always been like that, since 11/12, and have a good idea of what makeup I do like (lipstick, eye shadow and brow products) and never has anyone ever said to me if I am feeling unwell because I don't wear foundation and concealer, or because my basic skincare routine is cleanser, moisturiser, spf an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:53 PM
15

Sounds like your therapist is a person centered therapist. In this type of therapy the client leads and talks about what they want, while the therapist offers space to support ant validate them. Generally, the therapist works alongside the client, but not in a manner of providing solutions. Trauma informed is a bit of a buzz word at the moment, with lots of therapists claiming to be trauma informed and not actually have the training. ​ It sounds like a therapist with training in narcissistic abu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:15 PM
5

If by 'test the merchandise' they mean giving her oral and no further than that, I can get behind it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 08:30 PM
35

Also divorced
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 11:53 PM
14

Can confirm, my parents were neglectful and I ended up groomed. I even brought one of the older guys I was dating to my parents hose and they said nothing to me in private about the situation, even though CSA was right in their face. ​ Edit: I said dating..... I really wasn't because what 16 is dating a man in his late 20s/ early 30s? I was being used and rose coloured glasses won't change that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 09:50 AM
7

I used to do Karate as a teen, can confirm so many of the men only cared about beating each other in fights and showing off with fancy moves. IME most of them were not disciplined at all and it was all about their own ego, I ended up stopping going when I moved because the guys in the new club had that ego vibe and pushed people. I was lucky in my original club a lot of the teachers were into the sport because they loved it and enjoyed sharing it with others so had a more chill vibe. I do miss i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 06:17 PM
21

Is anyone going to read this beyond the cant keep ya man bit??? He is already saying he is going to dip as soon as he finds something he thinks is better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 06:50 PM
3

Facts! Though I will admit my biggest concern is the change of heart on the kids front, even without marriage she is now tied to this guy permanently. ​ Thank you for replying, I appreciate it. It is helping me under stand my feelings and gut reactions to the whole thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 06:06 PM
13

Oh, I thought it was her calling him a banana bread and was wondering who allowed an ad with man threatening a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:27 PM
8

True, it isn't like they have a gun to their head. I guess I am trying to understand a family members situation; met at work, was the forever girlfriend (think together 5/6 years now), lived together in her house for a while (parent's deposit), she said she never wanted kids but got pregnant and now has a son, they moved into a bigger house and are getting married soon. I can't help but feel it is a mix of him mooching off her, baby-trapping her and the marriage is because he can't do better (I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:13 PM
20

When I counted 8 red flags in the first image I knew this was going to go downhill super fast, but holy moly that hit the sewers so quick. Cringe at lasts longer than a white crayon, we all know you last 2 pumps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 10:01 AM
23

What is FDS's stance on people who get married because the woman got pregnant? I appreciate birth control is not 100% effective, but surely if the man wanted marriage it would have happened first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 09:54 AM
12

Years of swallowing it down/ bottling up negative emotions. Makes it hard to know how to express them and being scared to because you have been told off for them for so long. The whole 'bitter' woman stereotype. Ask me how I know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 10:09 PM
2

I am not sure where to stand with the art part, I can understand the frustration at how so much art with women has them in such exaggerated features. They all look alike and are sexualised, but as you said some artists are recording the current culture's expectations of women. I am sure there are others who are doing it to create porn for people. ​ At the same time, part of me is wondering if it is to do with the rise of cartoons, comics and things of that nature in society. Drawing out of propo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 02:56 PM
27

His ego, to know he changed a women's mind so it went from only a hook-up to her being super into him. Because dick is so good it can change a woman /S
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 04:56 PM
32

Probably because they dodge this by saying it is a shortening of the word pusillanimous, even though we all know they are associating weak and feeble with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 01:31 PM
8

I appreciate the Depeche Mode shout out, those songs are good. A song I have tried in the past is the explicit version of Peaches & Cream by 112 (not that there is much explicit about the lyrics) because it is mostly all about giving a woman or4l. I find it to be an interesting way to gauge how a man feels - as you said, they are saying a lot if they go out of their way to criticise it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 06:29 PM
17

I was once on the receiving end of a scrote propositioning me to be his findom and I can tell you it is the most pathetic thing ever. This man was so desperate for an attractive woman I could feel it through the screen, I felt so gross and had to shower afterwards. I don't see how it is any different from a sugaring situation, it is still a scrote throwing his wallet at a woman who is out of his league. Though with findom I bet the woman now has to manage his finances for him - so he gets less w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 12:44 PM
52

The promotion of hypersexuality pisses me off because it is a known trauma response, but no-one really talks about it at all. It is made even more toxic by the unspoken societal assumption sex is something women are supposed to give men regardless of what they want - how many times have women been raped whilst in a relationship but are unable to recognise this is what happened to them? ​ I have been though it too, terrible childhood leading to low self-esteem and no boundaries, then CSA on top. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 02:13 PM
28

They can't even compete on the dick front either. If you want something phallic, buy yourself one. You can guarantee it is cleaned properly, isn't community penis and won't get you pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 01:58 PM
24

No drama and is like a bull...........so his only purpose is to provide dick on my terms? I will still chose my vibrator, I can guarantee that is clean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 10:25 PM
35

They don't even need to be a teacher, they can work in the school in some way and still exploit you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:58 PM
20

I will read the sub daily for my FDS booster shots! XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 10:45 PM
70

Since she is now an alpha male, does this mean we can date her? ​ (Seriously though, when will this 'alpha' and 'sigma' male bs stop???)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:49 PM
85

So why aren't they dating other men then?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:44 PM
28

Ikr, the living room with the TV which will most likely have something for the children playing. Or she will be interrupted with complaints from him about needing stuff to get done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:25 PM
139

So, he needs a room in a house to be 'his' because he couldn't be bothered to have any input in the rest of the house and that means it isn't his.................. (even though it will look awesome because of all the effort she put in) Get stuffed!!! It is a way of doing even less work around the house; he will demand to not be disturbed when in his 'man cave' and all the household management will fall on her. And if she asks for a room only for her I bet my bottom dollar he will say "but you ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:47 PM
35

Bit of a tangent, but I am sick and tired of most art I find being sexualised women. Nude or not. I like a tasteful nude, though so much content seems to have a porn lens over it. As you said, it is uninteresting, repetitive and no creativity - makes me wonder how many are doing it for views/ to get money and or wank fodder. I have heard of men turning up to photography classes with no roll in the camera, because there were nude models, so I wouldn't be surprised if so much art is men doing stuf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:22 PM
5

Thank you, I really appreciate this reply. I do have a lot of work to so around sex and working out what to do with those experiences is where I am at. It happened, but I don't see why I should add abusers, liars and manipulators to the list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 08:26 PM
4

Hahaha, I feel called out there. When you put it like that, that might mean I don't count anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 07:42 PM
33

That sounds awful, I am sorry you experienced that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:24 PM
12

That is a good point, low numbers but them being bad sexually is also a thing to watch out for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:22 PM
25

As the saying goes "hit dogs holler".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:16 PM
57

Ewwwwwwww, what is wrong with them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:34 PM
123

I agree it is, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when scrotes create something to dehumanise women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:51 PM
20

My question is pretty male-centric and doesn't do much to focus on all the other sexual activities there are. I do like you distinction between sexual experiences and sex, it adds a lot of nuance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:47 PM
16

That is a good point, focusing on PIV ignores there is more to sex than that and is very male-centric.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:43 PM
47

As another commentor pointed out, they aren't even honest with us as they don't mention the random oral they got or the people they paid sex for abroad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:42 PM
23

I like this thinking, it is just another way to get hurt by other people. At least it makes a vetting tool if they want to pry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:39 PM
17

That is why I asked, sexual contact is serious but with so many experiences happening without consent it makes it hard for me to include them. Especially with the whole body count thins being routed in misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:37 PM
31

That is scary and I feel so sorry for all those young women out there who are having their sexuality hijacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:34 PM
20

I am sorry you got coerced, I hope you are healing from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:34 PM
59

Nice to know I ruffled some feathers XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:32 PM
5

If I name my stomach Steve, does that mean I have to serve myself first?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:36 PM
32

Even if women have a high 'body count', a lot of that is tied to trauma: Hypersexuality, poor boundaries, coercion and exploitation. It is a completely different scenario to men being the village dildo. Promiscuous men are probably the ones causing a load of harm to women without a care because all they think about is getting an orgasm and don't care about the person they are with. How many of us have heard men comment about a women they are with 'starfishing' and being 'bad' when the poor lady …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 11:46 AM
1

"Oh honey, I thought you would never ask. Let me get my strap-on so you can finally have anal" /S
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:16 PM
30

Secure in your delusion more like, or possibly emotionally unavailable which is not emotionally mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 10:02 AM
7

I adore your profile pic!!! ​ Edit: spelling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:07 PM
8

I love this, the aesthetic and energy is gorgeous. All these queen posting art makes me want to pick up a pencil and draw again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 12:45 PM
94

I bet if we stopped buying the vast majority of skincare and bodycare products the economy would tank - think of how many serums, anti-aging products, exfoliators, moisturisers for specific body parts (I am sure just one for most areas would be fine), masks, etc we spend our money on. I bet there would be a huge dip if we just had a simple routine of cleanser, moisturiser and spf for our face and body wash and body lotion. No extra fancy stuff because society wants us to look young or buy things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 11:58 AM
6

I think it is also mediocre writers who don't understand the difference between showing and telling in how they write a story. You see this when a character is first introduced and you get a long description about their appearance, when realistically you don't actually pick up that many tiny details of a person when you first see them. This gets exacerbated with male writers needing to focus on a woman's body and make comments about her breasts and hips. So much focus on telling and being explic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 01:23 PM
17

I have heard women in relationships saying the men just aren't that good and that is why they end up doing it. But it still seems to be a narrative from LVM about how they are 'wired' differently to women and so can't do certain things as well AKA weaponised incompetence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:33 PM
37

I am now thinking of a bodybuilding channel I stumbled across on YouTube, when trying to find body weight exercises. It was looking at muscular men and asking if they were 'built different'. The amount of men who looked as muscular as they do because they were on some sort of steroids instead of naturally working out and putting in the hard work was eye-opening. ​ I swear 'wired/built' different is an excuse by LVM to avoid putting in any effort in their lives. Great way to spot a lazy scrote an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 10:42 AM
112

I wonder if she isn't the only women in this guys life and he keeps her around because abusing her amuses him. If he is several towns over and has money, it would be easy for him to try and get women in his home town.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 07:52 PM
7

This is a clear case for our resident queen Pickmeishaexorcist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:36 AM
14

Agreed, it is frustrating when people take these things and then twist them into tools to abuse women. Seen it happen so many times on a certain subreddit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:31 AM
1

In the UK, counselling and therapy is a self-governing profession, so you could have the training and still be considered a professional counsellor/ psychotherapist whether or not you join one of those bodies. BDSM as therapy is not acceptable there either, but with the amount of courses you can easily access and not require to be accredited who knows if something like this has been created - the internet is a big place. ​ My concern is if a person is both in the therapeutic profession and BDSM,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:16 PM
35

I was in the scene too for a few years and I can understand how you feel about it all. Especially with people happily ignoring the red flags. I am glad I found FDS and it helped me get out of the scene by teaching me those red flags, but it is heartbreaking to see so many women putting themselves through things which is just reinforcing their trauma. ​ Sending you lots of hugs and love!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:46 AM
15

I have no idea where this extremely dangerous message is coming from, but it sounds like a perfect way for predators to learn about someone's vulnerabilities and exploit them under the illusion of HeLpInG with trauma. No wonder the BDSM scene latched onto all this trauma-informed stuff which has been going around various professions lately, makes them look good and keeps a new supply of young women coming into the scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:39 AM
17

Can confirm also had CSA and SA, never had a 'rape fantasies' and am planning on healing that trauma with a professional therapist. BDSM as trauma healing is unsafe and unhealthy as you are most likely working with someone who has no training. Or if they have training and are in the scene either wanting power over others or are ignoring their own trauma in some way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:36 AM
121

Or someone to gold dig, if a certain story on another subreddit is anything to go by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 01:03 PM
397

Self burn and admitting you are community dick, way to own yourself hard scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:53 AM
42

The fact he seems to mostly message after 9pm (based on this snapshot), makes we wonder if he is texting after that time for a reason. Either wanting sex only or already has someone - maybe both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:27 AM
2

Glad I could help! I do hope they help you on your wardrobe journey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:56 PM
10

I have used the colour analysis test and Kibbe body type tests on https://theconceptwardrobe.com/ because I can't afford a personal stylist at the moment. It is a little harder to test yourself as you might not be able to really see the differences in body shapes or hair colour, or you might not really be happy with the results you reach. I personally was not happy with my colour analysis result because the descriptions for colours which suit are not the most flattering. Also it took me about 5 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 02:09 PM
12

Is that phrase why men don't just go fuck each other?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:44 PM
6

I remember watching that as a child, really enjoyed it. Now I want to watch it all over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:53 PM
196

Isn't this what Lundy Bancroft talks about in his book Why Does He Do That? That abusers will never change and putting them in anger management programmes or therapy will make them worse abusers. That man was spot on, glad professionals are waking up to how therapy is not a silver bullet for abusers and they need to be kept from weaponising therapeutic language. Though I do worry this is shutting door after the horse has bolted with so many articles on the internet using therapeutic language.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 10:00 AM
3

I know you aren't looking for an ego boost, but as someone who wants to learn guitar for a hobby, you Rock!! Keep living your best creative life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 08:13 PM
7

I think making your whole identity wife and or mother would fall into either identity foreclosure or identity diffusion. Definitely not a healthy thing at all. The reason I said "A lot of them, and ladies here, have a sense of identity in regards to being married and having children, they would like to have a romantic and or sexual relationship with a partner. How many times have we all circled around identity moratorium when a partner treats or treated us unfairly and we didn't have the FDS len…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 04:42 PM
10

I wish I knew they did this before I ended up in a polyfuckery situation! Would have dodged a bullet so much earlier, I am just glad someone had my back and told me it was happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 03:24 PM
4

Seems like she fell for some major love-bombing since she has moved in and living with someone after only 5 months. It makes me wonder what red flags she missed because she was vulnerable after losing her job. I really hope she can get out and away from this scrote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 01:30 PM
13

Which book is it, so I can avoid it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:34 AM
19

It is so you stop keeping an eye out for other options but they won't do the same. If they seem another women the want they will guilt free either use her for sex or monkey branch to her. Then if you get upset will turn around and say it was ok for him to do because you were not in a relationship. It is them performing Olympic levels of mental gymnastics to have their cake and eat it too, shame they don't have the looks to match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 02:41 PM
2

Some of the free games are porn games. Steam is flooded with them that are free or super low prices that are easy to access, plus they look like anime games so it would be easy for children to access and parents to not notice the true nature of said game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:59 PM
1

I read the first sentence and then stopped, if a scrote says he is humble in anyway it is a lie and is about to gas himself up with a word salad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:18 PM
42

Men who say they went to therapy and it did nothing for them............... wish I had twigged on this being a parade of red flags sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 07:02 PM
9

I was like that too with makeup after watching YouTube Beauty Gurus, I felt I was supposed to wear all the products as they always put on full faces. What really saved me was Lisa Eldridge; she is a professional makeup artist and to see her application tips and do her 5 minute beauty routine was amazing. She always looks so natural with her makeup and gives great advice. Here is a link if you are interested: https://www.youtube.com/c/LisaEldridge/about ​ I know what you mean about highlighter, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:07 PM
15

Lots of ladies have given you great advice so I will just focus on the makeup part because I too don't know how to use makeup through my own choice (I prefer the extra sleep). ​ Most men can't tell when a women is wearing makeup unless it is heavily applied like you see in glam looks on Youtube videos. Seriously, if you stick on some lipstick they won't notice that is all the makeup you are wearing. You don't need to gain makeup artist levels of skill unless it is something you want for you. Bro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:41 AM
70

Thing is, most don't practice polgygamy/ polyamory or ethical non-monogamy. It is polyfuckery where it is mostly a one penis policy and the women are expected to be faithful to the man while he makes his dick the community bike. There are so many stories of men stopping it once they realise they barely get any attention and the lady is not only getting lots of attention but better dates and sex than he gives her. ​ The whole thing should not be normalised as it warps your views of romantic and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:15 AM
13

Based on the fact he whines she knew he had been waiting for 30 minutes, I want to know what he text her at 6:55. Did he even let her know how busy the place gets? It sounds like she hasn't been there before as she didn't set off earlier to get a decent parking spot or possibly hit traffic on the way to the date. ​ Also, this is from a scote, she might have said sorry she was late in person and he might be ignoring it because she isn't grovelling for her lateness and making him feel important an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:16 PM
2

As a UK lady, this is the exact reason I get annoyed at politics. It seems like a rich, white man club and they all do that incessant and mindless cheering and pound as if to signal they are all part of one hive mentality. It really puts me off politics because I can't tell what they are saying (not that they seem to say much with how spineless they seem these days).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:10 PM
13

Also, isn't hypersexuality/ promiscuity considered a sign of trauma and childhood abuse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:50 PM
19

The bar is extremely low, but never as low as scrote's ability to dig a trench to limbo under it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:37 PM
6

The reason I am confused is because they are looking to buy a house, surely a debt that large could really influence getting a mortgage on the property?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:51 PM
73

I am not from the US, but over there doesn't student loans count as a debt and will be picked up when trying to take out a loan or a mortgage???? If so, why does he have 30K of student debt and 100K of savings? That just seems sus to me. Plus the fact he is not happy with the job and huge saving means he could quit the job and take a much lower paying job (or could lie about it being lower paying to drop more of the bills on her and build up his savings). Heck I could see him convincing her to s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 10:17 AM
39

The amount of softcore p0rn in the art world bothers me too. It is so difficult to really appreciate women as they are posed provocatively and or with ridiculous hourglass figures. As you said, it is all the same look between them too, hairless body, heels, long hair, full face of makeup and usually with revealing clothing and a seductive pose/ look on their faces. It really is so boring and predictable. ​ You comment about the lack of realism and storytelling explains why I don't like most art …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:46 PM
4

Big hugs to you too sis <3 I really hate hearing people have gone through it and it hurts to know it is so normal for men to behave like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:03 PM
7

There was one in mine too and I was also sexually abused as a child. It is scary how much is going on and it is part of why I never want children, I can't trust men. ​ Yeah, it is mostly men doing it. Especially with how many are finding stuff through p0rn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:21 PM
5

I have yes, and it wouldn't surprise me if they have sex rings for none blackmail reasons. Just look at the Rotherham child sexual abuse scandal with police refusing to act - makes me wonder what other rings have been covered up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:09 PM
27

Thing is, age of consent in the UK used to be 13. It was entirely normal for men to be sexually attracted to and have sex with children. Before that, it was 12. ​ It took feminists 3 attempts to raise the age of consent and I am pretty sure it only succeeded a 3rd time because they tired it to criminalisation of gay men and so politicians could use it as a way of blackmailing their political opponents. Nothing to do with caring about women and girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 11:45 AM
23

Didn't a lot of S&M culture historically start out in the gay, leather scene?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 10:13 AM
43

I don't know why people call it polyamory anymore. It is polyfuckery; men trying to have sex with as many women as possible and not lose the woman who giving them all the emotional labour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 09:53 PM
48

Are you including sexual touching? Because there were times it happened because I didn't realise no was an option, I kind of went along with stuff because I was a clueless teenager.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 08:38 PM
1

Wise woman! I think the only reason I never shared mine in the past was because I had none XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 06:00 PM
1

It is great news you haven't shared your finances with him, that gives you a lot of freedom in setting up your exit strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:27 PM
2

I see a lot of ladies here have already cover most logistics but I noticed a couple of things. You mentioned you have personal loans, does he know how big they are? Could you pretend they are bigger so you need to start working 'overtime' to pay them off? Also pretend to be working overtime would give you space both from him and to do stuff elsewhere. ​ You said he uses your car, do you drive to work? If so, could you do 'overtime' on the day you break the lease then just not come back to the fl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:53 PM
24

Wait, so the scrote lied about having a kink and when she found out he lied she then decided to say she would have sex on the first date instead on finding more ways to vet. The kink shaming whiners need to shut up; she asked about kinks because she wasn't interested in getting involved in them and was disgusted to learn a kink was forced on her - what happened to all the CoMuNiCaTe and CoNsEnT the BDSM scene likes to talk about? This is exactly why I say that scene is full of hot air and people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:44 AM
19

I wish I had never sent nude or dirty messages, but like a lot of ladies here I grew up with how these things were ok in relationships. I cringe hard but all I can do is hope they are forgotten and have been deleted. ​ I agree with the others saying - deny, say they are deep fakes or not you. Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:23 PM
14

This has dragged up a memory; I remember falling asleep once at a friend's and I think I felt a kiss on my lips, next thing I remember is waking up. I was fully clothed, but that doesn't mean much I guess. Please be honest ladies, how likely is someone did something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:12 PM
28

What do you think about telling her now yourself? Do you think she deserves to know all the people who lied to her about the stripper club, especially since they have already proved they are willing to hide a lie this? ​ Also, did his ex cheat on him? Or is he lying to try gain your sympathy and save his ass? I wouldn't trust time saying "if you did anything wrong he wouldn't want to know", it kind of sounds like it is trying to get you to defend yourself and prove you would be faithful to him. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:01 PM
98

So amazing they both ignored a simple request........... of no strippers/ strip clubs. I can understand why you would not want a wedding; if he is comfortable lying to his best friend's wife and hyping up said friend, then what else will he lie and exaggerate about? ​ I also notice a lack of enforcing the boundary of no strippers/ strip clubs - he seems to have just shrugged and gone 'oh no, my friends SuRpRiSeD me with it' as if that absolves him of everything. I would be wondering what else is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:51 PM
8

Well that explains the awful returns policy and non-existent customer service when you complain about it being defective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 12:42 PM
20

Not you, promptly followed by block and delete. ​ Seriously, anyone who asks me that gives me creep vibes. Like they are thinking I put people in categories like men do with their p0rn. Them asking me is a great way for me to filter out LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 12:33 PM
18

What the actual F did I just read??? A judge....... said that........ someone who is supposed to know the law? That is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:47 AM
13

In psychology, Piaget notes that adolescent egocentrism can be a thing 11 year olds to adult have (in the Formal Operations stage). Which really doesn't surprise me, especially with how scrotes act like they know best and the world should serve them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:45 AM
116

Wait, she had a threesome most likely when they were in the 'off' part of their 'on and off' together relationship (so she was single) and he is claiming it feels like cheating???? GTFO scrote, I bet he is butthurt she got someone in the 'off' stage and he didn't. This is why FDS says if he leaves and tries to come back you keep that door firmly shut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:32 AM
8

He exists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:10 PM
14

I have chosen poorly in the past, to the point it is a bit of a joke in my family that I go through men like tissues - yes it has been said to my face. I am like you, cringing at my past exs and feeling I gave off huge desperate vibes. Was I probably desperate for external love and validation? Yes, but that is the society I grew up in where once you start becoming a teenager/ adult you look for romantic relationships to fulfill you (excuse me while I go puke at this mentality). ​ On thing which …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 09:48 PM
2

Thank you, I will have to pick up my tarot card again. Been a very long time since I looked at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:41 PM
3

I guess I have had it drilled into me that other's know better than me, since I have often had my feelings invalidated. To go speak to an 'authority' figure as it were. Yes, I often rationalise my feelings and JADE. Often feel nothing at all, yes. Bit stressful, I guess. Don't get alone time to decompress, which is frustrating as thin walls and can hear the neighbours. Recent past, before the pandemic yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:27 PM
19

Can confirm it is p0rn related. I have only 1 ex who said hated his size and wanted bigger, also said it was because it looked smaller than what he saw in porn. I said it looked above average and he disagreed, so we actually measured - dude was 7 inches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:32 AM
26

Does anyone have any tips on how to tap into your intuition? I find I have no idea how to listen to mine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:57 PM
30

Wasn't she a BDSM educator on YouTube at one point? I am not going to watch because I think I can already summarise what she will say: "Lana should have known what she was getting into and should accept that she will have had some bad experiences. It is part of it, it 'normal' and Lana doesn't get to pretend she is a victim." ​ No. What Lana experienced is awful, it is traumatic and Lana genuinely is a victim and deserves empathy, compassion and support. It is not normal and trying to gaslight L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:42 PM
48

Can confirm. I remember as a kid in high school a rumour about someone in IT having CP on their computer, turns out someone in that department was a p-d0.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:55 AM
32

So true, lesson learnt! If they say they are X (asshole/ terrible/ etc.) they are being honest and if you comment on poor behaviour later, they will tell you you knew what you were getting into up front. Was only 5 months, but the mask dropped after 3 months and I spent 2 months attempting to 'CoMmUnIcAtE' before I noped out. Next time a scrote says that to me, I will be running out the door!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:39 PM
42

LOL, 'toxicity' on both sides. No, it was just him being the toxic one as he was willing to use her during his 'dark times' to build himself up until he was ready to monkey branch to a woman he wants. He probably said what he did in public as he wanted out and to humiliate her in the process of manipulating her to break off the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:08 AM
8

Same, haha. I see the face and I can overlook the body to a point. Dressing well is a must, I do love a suited man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 10:08 PM
20

I am glad I am not the only lady here who needs to like a man's face first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:53 PM
8

I tried to go shopping for some but there is none left to buy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:02 PM
7

Warning: contains liberal F Bombs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:53 AM
29

I think I died from cringing so hard at this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:45 AM
21

What is up with the weird incestuous friend groups? it is almost as though they can't even call someone a friend unless they have sex. Boundaries people!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 08:51 AM
16

I will go with C: not have sex with a woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:56 PM
49

So............. you list all the ways a woman is showing she has been worn down by a scrote, who is too busy only giving a damn about himself, and think the problem is the woman in the relationship???? That scrote should not be a therapist at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:54 PM
13

Honestly, I can't really remember much as it was terrible. I think they were awkward as conversation was pretty stilted and I am sure there would have been a fair few red flags, it was years before FDS so I can't say for definite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:11 PM
20

I have only tried a speed dating event once, but it was a whole new level of awkward. I think about 12 men showed up and I was 1 of 2 ladies who attended - so there was 3 ladies (hostess was a woman) and you could tell all 3 of us were not happy with the turnout.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 03:23 PM
1

Makes me glad I don't have instagram, it is bad enough on the book of faces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 09:58 AM
2

It makes sense, we are in a society which values youth in women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 09:57 AM
0

Because chick is a term for a baby bird?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:07 PM
3

I think that explains a lot, I am a small build myself so I it might explain why I have been called girl a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:36 PM
-3

I think I get your point, though I don't see why you need to use girl or lady in those scenarios. Why not skip mentioning the girl part and go straight to what you really want to say?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:33 PM
16

I do like gentleman caller, I think I will have to adopt this. The bonus of no implication of exclusivity on top of how adorable it is makes it too good for me to resist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:30 PM
7

You can be as subtle as a brick to the face with scrotes and they still fail to listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:25 PM
4

You will still probably end up wait forever for said ring XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:24 PM
10

You do make a good point about boyfriend and girlfriend being part of a childish relationship, it has really changed how I view romantic relationships now. And my past ones do show a lot of childish behaviours now I think about it. Definitely will be avoiding the term boyfriend as much as I can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:22 PM
7

I am impressed no-one's corrected you, would have thought the scrote's fragile ego's would have imploded at the mention of the word 'boy'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:17 PM
0

I understand your point about using it as a term of endearment, though I think it is not necessary at all. Why not use the word Sis instead? Or drop the word altogether?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 04:32 PM
3

I completely forgot about the use of the word female, though IME I find women don't tend to use it anywhere nears as much as girl/ girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 04:26 PM
4

Exactly! Such BS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:25 PM
33

My grandmother always used to refer to such things as manfriend and ladyfriend, when she was chatting to us about what was happening in her social life. I have always liked that and it felt pretty grownup to me (I was a teenager at the time).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:24 PM
9

It still is one of mine, haha. Hard to keep a straight face when people say it around me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 02:53 PM
8

I must be living under a rock as I rarely hear the term lad being used around where I am! Definitely heard of ladette being used to highly what is considered inappropriate behaviour in women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:03 PM
11

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:00 PM
46

It is so disgusting when they do that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:55 PM
17

If I wanted to read a self-obsessed monologue I would pick up Shakespeare, at least I could get some culture out of it.........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:42 PM
9

I feel you, it is such a difficult habit to break!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 11:57 AM
76

I know, we don't call men boys unless they are an actual child. Even teenager boys get young man, whilst teenage girls are girl or women depending on if a scrote wants sex with her or power over her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 11:56 AM
39

I am used to hearing it too from other ladies, I couldn't never understand why it bothered me until a scrote called me a girl and it clicked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 11:54 AM
53

It really is conditioned in us, but we can also get rid of that conditioning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 11:09 AM
19

Another thing about personality tests is it ignores the socialisation of people. Women are socialised to be agreeable and considerate of others, at the expense of who the genuinely are as a person. So many women end up as people-pleasers, when they really don't want to be, and since they know those traits are desirable in women they might emphasise them to fit with what they think the researcher is looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:28 PM
2

I can see some ladies have already given you some advice about managing that anger and I wanted to dig a little deeper into it. Is the anger really about you not knowing better or the lack of action from others who could see the situation you were in? I ask, because as women we live in a victim blaming society. It is trained into us that we are to blame when something bad happens to us. ​ I got slapped in the face with a few glaring red flags in a couple of relationships, and I was in my late 20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:23 PM
26

Thank you! MBTI is not an accepted study in psychology because it cannot be replicated - as you said people get different results when taking the test because mood impacts how you see yourself and can skew the answers. Is it an interesting idea, yes. Can it give you some useful insights into yourself with self-reflection and a desire to grow, yes. ​ In addition, it is a psychometric test - there a lot of debate in psychology about whether or not psychometric tests are valid. Which is understanda…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 02:22 PM
7

I didn't know that, I guess it makes sense as the human body is pretty hostile towards pregnancy because it is so taxing on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 06:54 PM
9

The minute you walked in my dm, I could see you were a man of audacity. A real no spender, Trash lookin', so unrefined. ​ Sorry you had to deal with that gross scrote, hope that cheers you up a little.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:52 PM
31

Now I have an overwhelming urge to yeet my uterus into the sun. That is so so so wrong and unnatural, it completely overrides the whole point of the egg choosing the best sperm for healthy children (highly debatable with men having kids after 35). ​ Side note, with science proving this as fact, does that mean miscarriages are possibly because the body knows the fertilised egg is not healthy? ​ Edit: spelling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:44 PM
1

Tell me about it sis! The NHS is terribly underfunded for mental health care, and should they even keep a hold of all your notes they offer from 6 to 20 counselling sessions. There is not enough time to really offer any support, so they use CBT. It is no wonder people turn to charities and private therapists for help, but as you said it too much responsibility dumped on vulnerable victims. I can't get my head around how the services are so bad, unless it has been set up that way in order to keep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 08:04 PM
2

Thank you for listening, I really appreciate someone else agreeing with me at how bad things are. Lying about the situation would do a huge disservice to us, I have been on both ends of the counselling experience - both as a client hunting for a therapist and starting the training. ​ I have repeatedly said I rejected hundreds of therapists because they said they did everything on their profile. I couldn't trust they would have a clue about what is going on for me, so I hunted for a specialist th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:39 PM
3

I know, it explains so much about things here. It saddens me so many therapists have barely any training and are allowed to see people without specialist training in any area - the whole idea is the therapists will have boundaries and refer people to the right resources if necessary. Which doesn't happen, I have seen so many UK therapists with huge long lists of areas they work with - there is no way they can have enough training to properly support everything. But yet, you most likely do get lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:58 PM
41

I almost downvoted you as a reflex to such disgusting behaviour, ew no-one wants to see a woman publicly being groped and pawed at. The nerve of that scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:18 PM
8

I know in the UK the regulations and training around counsellors and therapists is all self-governing. Unsurprisingly, there is no mandatory training for anything like this and all you have to do is have approved certificates and 100 hours of experience to join . It is a huge ass mess and why I stopped training to be a counsellor, the current UK system is a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:09 PM
31

Using drugs to cope with something horrible in her life makes sense, I wouldn't be surprised if it is a long term consequence of trying to be 'sexy' for men and having an entire career built around reinventing her image. The pressure to keep up with that ideal and being relevant in the high speed world of social media must be enormous. It is such a shame to see her like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:48 PM
9

It is such a shame to see her like that, but it still grates a little as if it was anyone else making those jokes they would get backlash for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:48 PM
24

I am no fashion lady, but that adds a whole new level of cringe if I can spot the look is a rip off of another look. ​ Really??? Posting videos about doing Coke and Meth? I am assuming she is doing this in a way that is not about drugs awareness and to avoid them. I guess that is another example of rules for thee and rules for thee celebrities have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:44 AM
64

On the dress: 1. didn't Kim K wear a naked dress to an earlier Met Gala, that white naked dress? and 2. is this look a rip off of Kim K's wet look dress (the dress is skin tone fabric) at the 2019 Met Gala? ​ I have never understood the whole naked dress thing, it seems like it is for shock value or attention. You are so fight about the whole Patriarchy wants to objectify you and see you naked, so you let them - it doesn't make any sense. I agree it seems like some kind of crisis, why even date …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:18 AM
25

They are nothing new either, my mum remembers men turning up to photographic classes with a camera and no film. The scrotes just wanted to perv on the model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 08:12 AM
23

If he was an ice cream flavour he would be discontinued!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:00 PM
10

As a childfree woman, why are you trying to get me to take on 5 kids? Also gtfo here with the kids are your world bs, if that were true you wouldn't been trying to get a mommybangmaid for them. Maybe be a 'real man' (aka HVM) and step up to raise your own kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:27 AM
6

Hahaha, I like that and it is so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:14 PM
67

Surprisingly I saw a couple of commentators suggesting this isn't the first time he has taken her money and to go over the account with a fine tooth-comb, I wouldn't be surprised if the scrote took small amounts she hadn't noticed it before and then only took the $3K because he thinks she is trapped as she is pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:12 PM
39

I read this and I am sure you will all be happy to know a lot of comments were telling her to lock down her bank account and consider a divorce - nice to see some sanity for once
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:08 PM
24

This is what I aspire to, not caving to scrotes and honestly saying no with a stone face! The temptation to have a witty comeback or to give any kind of response is something I am wanting to work on - I still find myself giving into the people-pleasing and saying something or oversharing. I will give myself credit that I noticed this in the last conversation I had with a lady and did my best to rein it in and not say too much (though I did say a tad bit more about myself than I would have liked,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 09:05 PM
10

I think it says everything about the state of men and mental health practitioners, that I am so thoroughly shocked at a male psychiatrist called out the scrote's BS. Glad to hear the scrote is an ex and you are free of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:14 PM
10

I read that post and I hope she gets away from that scrote, because it is abuse. It is all about control/ domination and a huge dose of humiliation - they are attempting to erode boundaries and your sense of self by making you unable to have your own privacy and space to either relax or process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:13 PM
38

I know FDS says to block and delete, but after that first message I would be tempted to send a dick pic before the blocking. Scrotes do like unsolicited dick pics right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:08 PM
51

As someone who genuinely enjoys drinking, don't make an excuse when you are questioned about why didn't order alcohol. Your decisions over what you eat and drink are not open to debate, just say "I fancied it" and start planning an exit from the red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:02 PM
3

Best of luck to you too on your journey =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:38 AM
10

I know what you mean, I was discovering Radical Feminism as a teen but it got derailed by men and the pickme nonsense I read on the internet when I went searching for answers. It normalises so much disgusting stuff and no-one really bothered to take the time to properly explain anything to me (parents and teachers enabled with the whole 'just a phase' comment). It sucks we struggled to be able to be who we really are, and shrink ourselves, but I am glad we are both on this healing journey and wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:26 AM
25

It is hard and to be honest, even after 2+ years of therapy I still get them and think about past mistakes and things I did when I was vulnerable. I didn't know better, learnt stuff from the internet growing up and was in some awful situations, which built up to me being an easy target for predators. I can remember the things I did and wondering if other remember them, would that past come to the surface and would I get dragged through the mud? Heck, are people still dragging me through the mud …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 10:24 AM
24

Ask him for some of these? Should cover the emotional labour: https://justpgtips.com/pg-tips-worlds-most-expensive-tea-bag/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 02:49 PM
39

As a tiny petite women I do it anyway. Walk forward like I am on a mission to murder someone and some of the time they move. I never smile at them though and I disagree with the article for that; men expect us to smile and be pleasant around them, like hell am I doing that when they are in my way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:52 AM
14

Haha NO! God, scrotes are the biggest gold diggers in existence and enable each other. ​ Emergency savings is not financial infidelity and is actually a pragmatic way of living. I have always heard having a 'rainy day'/ 'FO' fund equal to 3 to 6 months is important because things in life can go sideways. Covid has proven that. I bet he is having a toddler temper-tantrum because he can't get all of her money even after snooping to find out about it and pestering her for access - so now is trying …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:37 AM
9

The lady seems to have some spine, as she called him out, so I am surprised she didn't take up her FIL's offer of the scrote living with him. After all her "sIcK hUsBaNd cAn'T bE hOmE aLoNe /s Then when he is out change the locks, so only she has a key and serve all 3 of them divorce papers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 08:41 AM
25

I think she means "100% of things couples argue about are because scrotes gonna scrote - resolve it all in one go by yeeting him out the door".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 11:52 AM
2

You communicate you don't like this by gtfo of there and running from this scrote. This is such a disturbing post, I swear the level of depravity they are willing to go keeps getting lower.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 09:08 AM
8

Why bother though? If OP is feeling like they don't see her as a genuine date option, surely it is better for her to drop them and not waste her time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:21 PM
17

Block and delete because I am not a tour guide. We all have better things to be doing with our time than coddle a lazy scrote who can't be bothered to take 30 seconds to use Google.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:18 PM
5

Stupid question what is MTG? ​ It is pretty much cardboard crack
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 02:10 PM
4

Way to admit you are a self-absorbed, predatory scrote in that first line. Who is going to read the rest of the ad after that admission?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:34 PM
25

As someone who loves video games, I would encourage you to stick with a boundary of no video games in a partner if that is what you want. ​ There is so many video games out there, and so many people creating new games every year that it is hard to keep on top of what is being released - the gaming platform Steam has been flooded with games containing nudity and sex, which are at low prices. It is hard to keep track of which games are what you would consider 'quality' content. Plus it is easy to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 04:30 PM
17

I had to do a double take when I read number 3, I first read it as Ok Stupid......... I think FDS has killed any desire to ever use OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:19 PM
20

Hasn't something like this been posted before on this sub? I am sure I have read this exact scenario here before. ​ If this is a different person, can you tell us more about what made you decide to go on a drink date for the first date? The handbook clearly says no drink dates. Also, what was it about his conversations that felt right for you to want to seek a friendship with this man? This sub is against friendships with men. ​ A lot of this reads about you hyping him up; with how mature and ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 08:43 PM
16

I found FDS in July 2019, when I was in therapy and questioning a lot of stuff going on in my life. I was questioning relationships and I found some posts about how men are which spoke to me in a way my therapist never quite managed to. We had discussed boundaries a lot but I was never able to full grasp my struggles. I left after a week of lurking but I came back months later to lurk once more because that week lurking was when something clicked that changed me - I couldn't unsee what had been …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:25 AM
29

When I say I am childfree, I mean childfree in all situations. It is not only the refusal to ever be pregnant and give birth, it also includes not dating anyone who has children. Edit: also would not adopt or foster children either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:14 AM
8

I agree, must have been seeing others behind her back. Sounds like he is dictating everything so maybe he waited 7 years to find someone better before proposing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:04 AM
23

Scrotes love to forget the sometimes stole the women's work and published it as their own eg. Watson and Crick stole Rosalind Franklin's unpublished data about DNA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:34 PM
5

I am working on leveling up my looks in tangent with working on my career, thinking a more put together wardrobe will help me in interviews. Do you ladies have any knowledge of the Kibbe system and colour analysis? I have worked on them and I will admit I am struggling to find a way to translate my alternate tastes into a style which would be acceptable in all situations. Though I don't know if this is because I would prefer to have a single wardrobe rather than having a specific work wardrobe a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 07:41 PM
2

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. I will have a look for that book and give it a read. I can relate to the lady you saw on the train, at one point I was that crushed like she was - learned helplessness is a real pain to be working through. ​ I so happy to hear you are in that place! It is great to hear how far your journey has taken you. We can do it and I look forward to joining you on this path to healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 06:43 PM
2

Thank you for sharing that, I no longer feel so alone at struggling to break free of the programming. I was feeling shame I had struggled so much in the past and just following what others wanted as I was taught standing up for myself got me punish (no matter what I did I got screwed over as a kid) You are right, we are not taught how to deal with it and I was wondering if you have any tips you could share to help me stop freezing (which I know is a normal response when threatened/ stressed)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:07 PM
7

Reading between the lines is something I struggle with, any tips on how to improve so I can cut of people with bad intentions quicker?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 01:03 PM
6

Not going to lie, the first half had me, the mention of passive personality made me think it was woman trying to save her marriage. The I read the first sentence under sex and went straight to divorce, do not pass go and yeet this scrote into the sun during the divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 08:25 PM
1

Ah, I didn't realise she was looking at this from a professional standpoint. That changes the context, as when I first read it seemed like they were both talking about spirituality as a way of showing how amazing they were. ​ Religious and spiritual beliefs are definitely something which need to be vetted, I think they are one of the big things couples disagree on (finances and children and the other two I know). Though after a second read I am shocked she even carried on dating him after realis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 07:21 PM
-1

Maybe I am missing the point of this post, but she seems to waffle on a lot about this man and how his spirituality is different to hers and about how her version is superior. They both sound like spiritual narcissists and she has waste her time writing this when she needed to bail at the words married to God - he has clearly said she is not a priority right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:40 PM
1

Are you UK based at all? I really enjoy psychodynamic theory too and am looking into being a psychologist. I was wondering how I could make psychodynamic theory trauma informed or is it how the therapist has worked on themselves and understands tranference and other approaches ignore it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:33 PM
2

I don't know if my experience is different because I am in the UK, but with one person I did the whole switching paying with the logic 'well it all rounds out in the end', I got stuck paying more than the other party. When it was my turn to pay we would often go to the more expensive restaurants. My personal opinion is switching paying work when you are both paying similar amounts, but if you don't pay attention you might get the nasty shock I did of realising I was being used as an atm. ​ I can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:56 PM
122

Maybe because they are a LVM already overstepping your boundaries and know other LVM will try it as well?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:38 AM
2

It sounds like this isn't the first time he has not paid for you in some way, does he also only pay for himself when you go out for food? As for inviting someone to takeaway and not paying for both, I don't think that is normal - it is the same as inviting someone out on a date and then wanting to split the bill. I personally only split the bill with friends, and even then it is not often as we treat each other. If your partner knows treating you to food experiences is important and is ignoring …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:49 AM
6

So true, I wish I had known this before I got screwed over an old job - so many lies and twisting of the truth, on top of radio silence from the bosses. It was a complete mess and I thought I was closer to them than I was because we worked together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:38 PM
5

I was struggling for a while too and then I realised I was trying to do too much at once and was overwhelming myself. Are you going through something like that too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:18 PM
27

I bet this research was done to try and prove women's judgement wrong and now the researcher is trying to backpedal hard by saying we need to give scrotes a chance and get to know them! ​ I am going to follow my instincts over someone telling me to give someone a chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:32 AM
1

It doesn't always work in my experience, I have met some ZVM scrotes who will say that he doesn't need to know *barf* ​ *edit to say It
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:51 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. I have not heard of IFS before, I will ask my therapist if they have any training in it. ​ I do love her videos, they are rally informative. I agree, she is an absolute queen! ​ Thank you, I shall try that. True, I do now better now I have found this sub - it has really opened my eyes to a lot and give me a lot to think about. You are right, if I am cringing now then it means I am growing and learning as a person - I know better and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:31 AM
4

I have had a rough week emotionally. A friend recommended a YouTube video to help me understand my childhood and it just hit so hard (it was about being raised by a possibly narcissist parent and living in terrible family dynamics) because the lady in the video was saying it is not your fault you were born in a rubbish situation and you made terrible choices because you didn't know better growing up. I vented about my anger and sadness to my therapist, but I felt out of it for days after. I stil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:28 AM
1

I have never read the book, I was told about the Five Love Languages by my therapist. I did the test between session and we talked about the results and explore why I made the choices I made in the test. I enjoyed learning about it that way, as it helped me learn about myself. ​ Some books around sex and love, written by women, I was recommended to read by my therapist are: Come as You Are Dr. Emily Nagoski, Loving Yourself Loving Another by Julia Cole and Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Bar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:23 AM
61

He proves he is a jackass by saying he thought she was studying and still proceeded to make loads of noise. No consideration to her needing quiet time to study and keep her concentration. He is deliberately trying to sabotage her and no amount of hiding as a 'bumbling' boyfriend can hide it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:11 PM
37

This guy has no self-awareness, says he has never cheated on his wife and then describes how he is having an emotionally affair with his co-worker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:12 PM
4

Read the first bit and had to face palm. Of course a man has to mansplain the argument Feminists make about the glass ceiling existing, because the stereotypical traits we associate with leadership is something society fosters in men and tries to stamp out of women - the belief in one's self and their abilities. You know, the whole a man is assertive and a women is bossy thing. Stop stealing women's arguments and repeating them to make yourself sound intelligent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:28 PM
13

I was just about to say the same, I worry how people try to be edgy and really push things. I think a lot of teens and young people do push boundaries and experiment as they discover themselves, but it was never so blatant and in your face hardcore BDSM. ​ It bothers me how many young people are jumping straight into hardcore BDSM, without even taking the time to ask if this is something they are sure they want. Plus it feels like there is a creep on what people are into, so many people seem to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:59 PM
9

I am going to call BS on him thinking she was 'playing along', I bet he could clearly hear the distress in her voice and chose to ignore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:52 PM
1

Unfortunately, martial rape didn't become illegal in the UK until 1991.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:40 PM
11

I suppose this brings up the question of 'is a tool we need to survive in society something we can call art or a hobby?' There is a cost to both wearing and not wearing makeup, so is it possible for it to be and art form or hobby when women as a whole are expected to engage in it on some level?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:44 PM
17

On slide 3 it says various pregnancies, sounds like they have 3+ kids. No wonder she doesn't want anything to do with him; she is probably exhausted from looking after them and managing the household, then has him being a sex pest on top of it all. ​ I am also sus of the the counselling session being in quotes, sounds like it was something to try and get them both in the mood so he could get his dick wet, and not an actual therapy session to help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:50 AM
4

I am completely against surrogacy, both commercially and altruistically, as it is exploiting women and commodifying their bodies, while at the same time devaluing the entire process of pregnancy and giving birth (all the time, energy, money, health risks and long term effects of pregnancy). Plus it is human trafficking. My concern is this will rise as human fertility rates drop, due to all the chemicals we are being exposed to and the degradation of sperm. A lot of the time, when a couple is str…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:33 AM
7

Good luck!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 10:09 AM
2

Thank you!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:08 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:07 PM
3

Thank you! I will keep going and keep working on leveling up no matter how it goes! =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:07 PM
4

Thank you and I will do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:07 PM
4

Thank you!! I have my fingers crossed too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:53 PM
4

Thank you for the good vibes =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:53 PM
5

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:52 PM
5

Thank you! Keeping my head up high
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:52 PM
11

You mentioned you buy nice things for your looks, do you also buy nice things which aren't linked to looks? Like a bouquet of flowers or home decorations. Some times it can be easy to buy nice things for how you look, because we live in a society which expects women to look good, but your flat which most people don't see is a different kettle of fish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:31 PM
11

I think it is a control thing and power play, to see if you will cave on the boundary you set of not sending a photo. The fact he ignored the no is being pushy (which she is minimising by saying borderline) is a reason to yeet and delete. Because if you cave once, he will push to find out where else you will cave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter