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DallasOMalley Archive

View 1 post and 583 comments by DallasOMalley on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
68

SEEKING ADVICEDallasOMalley/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:41 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Agree and I'm in the same boat as you. And for what it's worth, I've also known crappy men who liked cats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:47 PM
1

Yep. To me, this post reads as an effort to get FDSers to rake a "nice guy" over the coals. I'm sure we'll eventually see it and the responses posted elsewhere as an example of how terrible FDS is. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:56 PM
153

100% true. I have a widowed great aunt in her late 80s who's chased by elderly men in her building. She's not impressed; she rolls her eyes and says they "just want someone to cook for them".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:20 AM
144

🙋‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 10:57 AM
15

I NEED this mug. Would you be willing to share where you got it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:36 PM
26

He’s cheating. Feeling like the maid is the least of her problems right now. Hope she figures that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:23 AM
107

Dumb luck, probably. Shower drain pipes do have a smaller diameter. He's in for a disgusting surprise once his new live-in girlfriend's hair begins clogging that section of the line. Another gross thing - if he's living in a place where gray water is kept separate from sewage for other uses, he's sending sewage into the gray water line. Gray water isn't necessarily handled with the assumption that it's full of sewage (and all the bacterial nastiness that lives in it) because it isn't expected to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:09 AM
105

June and Aileen seem like they'd be a blast to hang out with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:42 AM
362

That man is an abusive piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:38 PM
26

Not all suburbs are safe, and only a fucking ignoramus would predicate an argument on that assumption. Drive by shootings still occur, people are still assaulted/raped and robbed, and carjackings still happen. Anyone who's ever lived in a suburb abutting a major metropolitan area knows this. But hey, dumbass assumptions make it easier for her to exercise that wicked case of internalized misogyny and win Pick Me Points, so good on her, I guess. 🤷‍♀️🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:09 AM
26

Every time something celebration-worthy happened in my life, my last ex would say "we should celebrate". And then do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a card or a bouquet from the gas station. It just sank in that he was expecting me to plan my own celebrations. Saying "we should celebrate" was the prompt. What a shithead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:26 PM
53

Kavanaugh was straight up deranged. If that's what "handling it well" looks like to men, I guess that explains why Jay Baker's murder of 8 strangers in Atlanta spas was described as "he was having a bad day"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:55 PM
42

Completely agree re germs. So many men are lazy about oral hygiene; I don't even want to think about the bacteria festering among their molars, much less have it in my mouth. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:34 PM
44

He also makes enough to pay someone else to handle his car maintenance and yard work. If he was really living "low maintenance" like he says, he'd sell his car and buy a condo (which would eliminate outside work) on a bus line. Also, what kind of shit car requires as many hours of maintenance as his wife spends on homework?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:28 PM
103

Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems odd to me that she had to bring condoms all the way to the country her fiance was in. If he really, truly wants to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, why isn't he providing the condoms? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:55 PM
32

Ugh, yes, Steve. I hated that whole "high-powered attorney settles for an average guy because looooooove" narrative. I know Miranda had her faults, but she was still way out of his league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:29 PM
103

This. I had an ex who hinted in earnest at moving in with me. Like you, I'm a financially stable woman who owns her own home. He was a broke middle aged man who periodically couldn't pay his rent - which was quite low - on time. I never asked him to move in, it seemed like a great way to get screwed over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:51 PM
27

I experienced second-hand schadenfreude just reading this! Sorry you had to deal with him, but glad karma caught up with him. Edit: was fooled by autocorrect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:18 PM
3

Okay, I thought that too and was soooooo confused! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:51 PM
46

I interpreted the comment about seeking a female to "bundle into the back of his car" to mean that he'll literally throw you in the trunk and kidnap you. That really changed the tone of the whole profile. That aside, any man who says he can "rustle up a mean" dish can't cook. Men who can actually cook just call it...."cooking".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:49 PM
253

Let me see if I got this...She had a kid with him in 1992, he disappeared for 18 years, from the sound of it he had at least one other kid during that time (for whom he didn't pay child support)... and yet she initiated a relationship with him again? Her soul mate is a man who runs away and doesn't pay for his own kids? She'd find a better partner in a actual trash heap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:22 PM
37

I want to add that responding too quickly if you ask whether he watched porn - only to insist he doesn't - is in itself a sign. I've noticed that with people who have nothing to hide, there's a natural pause before they answer a question. Liars, on the other hand, will jump in quickly to convince you that they'd NEVER do the thing you asked about. I have an ex who did this, and I foolishly took him at his word. In retrospect, though, it's obvious that he was displaying many other signs of a porn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:03 AM
54

Same! Men are the primary reason I don't go to a gym. If there was an all-women's gym like this nearby, though, I'd sign up in a heartbeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:03 PM
16

Thank you for saying this. I began eating in a very disordered way following a traumatic health event. It didn't occur to me that there might be a connection until just now, while reading your post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 09:53 PM
42

How many of the people ragging on you are crammed living in a smaller place with their significant other or kids? I bet some of them are absolutely green with envy at all the space you'll have. (And the rest might just be assholes.) Either way, though, it's none of their darn business and they can all go jump.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:10 PM
19

If you live in a place where court records are made public, look him up. Seeing hard evidence of how a man is ruining his own life, and might ruin yours, is a real crush killer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:24 PM
78

Oh god, camping chairs... Story time: Back when I was dating a guy who had no furniture, a relative gave me camping chairs. I didn't like or need them, so I gave them to that guy. It was a pity gift - he had nothing to sit on! I am now deeply ashamed for contributing to the camping chair epidemic. 😬😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:13 AM
19

One of my college boyfriends has now been married and divorced twice. The age of the women he dates has skewed ever lower as he ages, so I figure that he, a man in his early 40s, is probably engaged to a 20 year old now. (He's been engaged at least 4 times by now.) A different ex, who was terrible at his job but blamed everyone else for it, was finally fired halfway through the pandemic. I have no idea what happened to him after that, but am still gleeful in an awful way. (I repeatedly encourage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:05 PM
23

Ouch, this is sad. It sounds like he just married her because she was there, and wasn't that into her to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:37 PM
61

Yes! Although for what it's worth, my ex was in his 40s. So it's possible for older men as well, if they actually work at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:22 PM
120

Steroids? Nah. One of my exes was built exactly like Michael Ealy, and he didn't do steroids. He just had a regular, very rigorous workout routine. It's an achievable standard for any man who prioritizes his fitness. I should also point out, though, that this ex didn't waste hours of his week trolling on Reddit, so he would've had more time to work out. Funny how that works. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:43 PM
53

It goes without saying, I think, that he needs to be in good health, not an addict of any kind, able to keep a clean home, and financially stable. But anyhow, here are my unique requirements: His annual gross salary must be at least 15% more than mine. Why? Wage gap. I'm in my early 40s and pulling 6 figures, so at this point any middle-aged man earning the same as/less than me either lacks ambition or has financial goals that are incompatible with mine. He needs to have owned and lived in his o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:55 PM
63

Yes! Bonus if he goes on Judge Judy! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:07 AM
3

Agree - do check and rule out the possibility that it's your own hair first!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:06 AM
65

Post saved for future reference. If I may, I'd like to suggest another sign of cheating: You begin to notice hair from an animal neither of you owns on his clothes, or you begin finding this hair in areas of your home that he frequents. For example, you start finding hair from a yellow lab in your house. This goes on for months. You do not own a yellow lab. He does not own a yellow lab. None of your (or his) family or known friends owns a yellow lab. When you ask him about the hair, he acts surp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:52 PM
32

"We've tried other things but to no avail." Sounds like a raging case of codependency. Sobering up is his responsibility, not hers, and she can pretend it's a "We" thing all she wants, but he's not going to change unless he's committed to taking the necessary steps. He might be someone who doesn't sober up until he hits rock bottom, and he's clearly not there yet. He still has her, a $4000 leather couch to black out on, and a home. I do feel bad for her, and it's a sad situation, but she needs t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:58 PM
39

"A potential bridge to a better life"? This guy is literally a male gold digger. WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:30 PM
61

Honestly, while I agree with your sentiment, I'm not sure one an upward curve is a good sign, either. I dated a guy who curved up and in hindsight realized he had all the signs of a porn addiction (death grip, terrible ED, preference for porn-style sex moves, and several other behaviors). Thanks to him, I'm suspicious of all curved penises, even if the direction of the curve is beneficial.🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:55 PM
35

I had an ex who made a habit of interrupting my work day with long tantrums about his own job. He'd start frantically texting and calling, and then rant for at least 30 minutes straight if I didn't distract him. I did decide to set boundaries and politely pointed out that clearly his job was super-stressful, and maybe an actual therapist would be better able to help him deal with that stress. ...In reality, his job was only stressful because he was an emotionally immature dumbass who repeatedly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:59 PM
35

I consider an engagement ring to be the price of admission. If a man is too miserly or broke to spend at least a couple thousand on something that is essentially a gift to you, he's not a good candidate for marriage. His ability to purchase a ring is an indicator of his financial fitness. FWIW, I've been married, so I know this for a fact: A man who wants to make you happy, and is responsible with his money, will have no problem pulling that money out of savings and dropping it on a ring. He won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:02 PM
112

This is why I drop "well, actually" on men every darn chance I get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:38 PM
19

Wondered the same. If someone uploads dick pics to a site that is requesting dic pics.... Isn't the uploader basically admitting they have someone else's nudes and distributing them to a third party? Feels like a trap to punish women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:52 AM
17

She seems so grateful to have been picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:02 AM
13

Agree with everything you've said. I appreciate that the posters mean well, but I'm not interested in the opinions of random men. Men aren't allowed to post here, but posting content that conveys men's "advice" sort of undermines the purpose of that rule by giving them a platform anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:01 AM
9

Never said that. I know men do shit like this. Rather, I'm surprised at the reaction of the woman who made the post - I mean, come on, he's obviously cheating and she can only muster an "It's very strange"?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:19 PM
27

She shouldn't confront him, she should just ghost his cheating ass. That man does not deserve an explanation. Edit: That said, that post seems kind of surreal, enough so that I'm questioning if it's for real?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:43 PM
32

"Why ruin a good dessert" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:35 AM
44

I think there's a 0% chance that he doesn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:07 PM
33

THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 06:55 PM
23

"Relationship-dumb" is a great way to put it. It's completely possible to be an intelligent, successful woman who excels at making stupid relationship decisions over and over. (Thanks, cultural conditioning!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:00 PM
7

I found it really helpful to make a list of all the crappy, hurtful things my ex did, and also included red flags. Basically, anything that made me feel sad, angry, stressed, or uncomfortable during the relationship went on that list. Then I'd read it any time I started to feel nostalgic or wish I could talk to him. When I was reminded of how awful he was, that squelched my urge to talk to him. Please know that if you're still emotionally attached to him, reading such a list will probably be pai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 06:35 PM
64

Horrifying. That man is an alcoholic. There's no way he's only drinking like that 4x/month. Also, a PSA: She mentioned replacing her carpet with hardwood flooring. This would be unwise. Urine can ruin hardwood floors and seep between the planks into the subfloor, ruining that as well. If one insists on living with a man who pees all over the place, I recommend just tiling the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:42 AM
34

"and then I will sexually disgust you into a non orgasm?" I can't stop cackling at this 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:16 AM
46

This is such an important topic and I'm glad you brought it up. I'd like to add that some LVM will actually exhibit some of these green flag behaviors, which makes things extra tricky. (I'm saying this as a woman with few chronic diseases and more than a few LV exes.) From what I've observed, though, the difference is in the execution. For example, a LVM may offer to bring you to an appt, but will need you to provide directions and will then zone out on his phone at the hospital. A HVM, however,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:47 PM
16

That's what I thought too. I'm thinking the bad lighting might've been intentional, to make her look older. I'm not clear on the origin of the photo, but it was also used for a Glamour magazine article about her views. I do have some theories about why it might benefit certain groups or companies to make her look older, but it's hard to be certain without knowing the original purpose of that photo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:14 PM
58

I love her perspective! I gotta ask, though - are there any photographers out there who can tell me what's up with the lighting in the article's photo? To me, it looks like it's coming from almost an overhead angle, which seems odd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:10 PM
92

Yep, looks like he's about to spin on his heel and run away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:14 PM
12

What a shit father. If he really cared about seeing his kid, he would've sorted things out with her ahead of time. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:52 PM
74

A man with a decent income, one who can manage his money, will be able to afford a nice engagement ring AND a down payment on a house. I know this because my ex husband was one of these men. He wasn't making 6 figures, but he was careful with his money. Oh, and not once did he whine about paying for the ring or the house. And he's definitely NOT broke. So, if someone says buying a nice engagement ring = being broke, I'd say that person is either crap with money, or needs a better job. And they d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:41 PM
14

Tucker Carlson is such a flaming piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:24 PM
86

If he's already struggling so much he can't fit in basic chores, he's likely too dumb for this career path. However, because he's a man, odds are he feels ENTITLED to be an engineer, and will continue to flail, whine, and blame as he fails upward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:07 PM
17

This. Commenting on a woman's body parts is rude and icky, no matter how he says it. She's a human, not a show horse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:54 PM
28

You handled this well. I'm glad to hear this isn't an actual rule (but sadly, would not be surprised if it was).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:41 PM
48

This is actually two green flags. First, he obviously wants to care for you, even when it's not fun or sexy. Second, if he's willing to wipe your butt, that probably means he wipes his own too. (Which apparently is something not all men do, so...) Wishing you a good recovery and health. 🙂🤞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:29 PM
46

This was written by a man. Seriously, there's nothing hot about a man who lacks self control or the ability to regulate his behavior. That post is propaganda intended to normalize a behavior that, if it's a regular occurrence, should rightfully be a source of great humiliation for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:06 PM
14

Excellent post. Thank you for sharing this! Those bullet pointed items are so spot-on. I used to date a man who exemplified all of those behaviors and didn't realize at the time that they were red flags. Never making that mistake again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:55 PM
24

I know several men who lined up to get vaccinated as soon as they had the option. However, these men are ones I'd qualify as HVM. Not only do they not want to get sick, they don't want to accidentally pass COVID to a loved one. That said, I also know men my age or younger who either refuse to get vaccinated or seem indifferent. These men are more LV, which I guess could explain it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:29 PM
37

"Females are the most privileged species" That phrase literally makes no sense. Sex/gender != species Dumbass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:49 AM
35

If anyone's obsessed with that cat, it's him. Yikes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:40 PM
16

Ah, I needed that laugh. 😂She doesn't mince words, does she.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:14 AM
66

I do have experience with several men who had ED, and one of them was quite severe. I can't speak for everyone in the dead bedroom sub, but will say that some women actually prefer PIV sex and don't find other forms of stimulation acceptable. And that's perfectly fine. HOWEVER, popular media pushes women to be understanding, act like it's not a big deal, and be open to trying other things. Culturally, a woman risks being considered a selfish bitch if she makes it clear that functional PIV sex is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:05 AM
24

I think they're calling you picky because they're straight up jealous that they no longer have that option themselves. I mean, they're married, so unless they divorce their (presumably) bum husbands, they don't get to be picky about red flags anymore, and are stuck with the losers they married. It's too late for them, and they hate that. So if the miserable married woman say you're picky, that means you're doing something right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:53 PM
47

You're not cold-hearted; you're setting boundaries because sometimes other people do not. This is healthy, but something women are criticized for doing. I'm also in my 40s and feel similarly - I've spent over two decades providing free therapy for people who won't fix their messes, and am done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:42 AM
219

In addition to the creepy pedophile behavior, he also sounds like yet another man checking out on his wife after a major health event. Only he's doing it in a way that appears socially acceptable. Instead of obviously taking up with another adult woman, he's carefully leching after teenage girls. On a semi-related note, your comment about assuming old men are harmless gave me a flashback to my ex-husband's grandfather. This man would comment on my appearance and figure every single time he saw m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:35 AM
101

I'm so sorry you went through that, but love how you handled it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:08 AM
215

"More hungover than [he] expected", meaning that he'd already planned to drink himself to some degree of hungover, but didn't think he'd be THIS hungover. I tend to assume that if a man's still drinking like this at 30, he's an alcoholic. So he did you a favor, outing himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:07 PM
18

Understood and agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:11 PM
12

Point taken, but your assumption regarding the meaning behind my comment is incorrect. Nowhere did I state or infer that they or other men should be absolved of their actions. I believe that those particular creatures have, through their choices in this event, negated their right to be treated and addressed as humans, and are now merely things. They are sentient trash that appears human. That state of being does not, however, absolve them of responsibility for their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:14 PM
59

I know it is, perhaps, unfair to judge someone's reaction in exceptional circumstances that I've personally never faced but.... In this situation, I'm totally gonna do that. Shame on these disgusting, selfish, cowardly fuckers who masquerade as men. Also, I want to say that many of those men may not have thought of their women classmates as human. To them, those women were objects and expendable. The belief that human lives are valuable and worth saving is one of the factors that motivates peopl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:48 PM
61

He's a freak. There's a difference between thoughtful minimalism and leading an imbalanced life. Choosing to make one's home to so uncomfortable for guests, without even adequate furniture, is something men do when they don't give a crap about having a serious relationship. He's created a space that's only comfortable for him because he doesn't want anyone else there. I am speaking from experience here - if a man can't commit to a coffee table, he can't commit to you. Additionally, I've found me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:48 AM
25

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I think he's absolutely earned the opportunity to die alone. And she should let him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:02 AM
114

100% agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:57 AM
178

So the US Department of Justice is essentially gaslighting women about gender hate crimes by providing an example that doesn't occur in reality. Wow....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:07 PM
339

Mass shootings would go down if we had legal prostitution, eh? So if men are allowed more opportunities to abuse women in a "legal" way, they'll finally start managing their feelings like big boys and stop killing people? As if. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:54 PM
91

My 2 cents: Her husband is trying to prod her into ending things, because he's too chickenshit to do it himself. And then once she does, he'll continue to whine and blame her, even though he'll have gotten what he wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:27 PM
63

Same! This is a MALE problem that MEN need to take responsibility for and fix. They know their own kind better than we women do, so why the fuck aren't they stepping up and working with each other to prevent these incidents? I mean, I don't recall the last time a woman shot a bunch of random strangers with a gun because she couldn't cope with her feelings. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 10:09 PM
80

Ouch, this describes my last relationship. My last ex did over 2/3 of these things, and I was with him for 3 years. For 3 years, I made excuses for him (he's so busy training! he has a stressful job! he's worried about his parent!). I figured that if he was still with me, he must love me, right? Nah. It ended when he ghosted me while I was experiencing a health crisis. This list is spot-on. Ladies, if you're with a man who does these things, don't make excuses. You deserve to be treated with lov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 11:24 PM
28

Ah, but does his dick work? I don't care if a man's a goddamn millionaire, if he can't keep it up, I'm out. Life's too short to waste time pretending I'm okay with a broken penis. (Edit: Referring to the man who made that dumb comment.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:03 PM
16

I assumed his meant his head, but... You're probably right. Ew. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:35 PM
207

He's acting differently because to him, this was never a relationship. Also, side note: It still amazes me that men with bad financial situations feel completely entitled to using a woman's time and body. They should be humiliated that they have so little to offer and avoiding dating until they've fixed their shit. But nope, we see posts practically every day about broke men who are bad boyfriends. Also, another side note: Ladies, it's totally fine to ditch a man with an iffy financial situation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:41 PM
46

Oh, won't someone think of the weak-minded white men who believe everything they see? 😢 Nah, I'm kidding, this argument is pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:36 PM
73

Oh my gosh, this happens at my job too. I'm also in a STEM field and the only woman in my group. Sometimes, however, me or my male coworkers will collaborate with other groups at the company where there are more women. I've noticed that generally, if I'm really impressed by another woman (she's smart as hell, on her game, and doing excellent work) it's guaranteed that at least some of my male coworkers will LOATHE her. There are a few guys in particular who will nitpick and whine at length about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:00 AM
22

100% agree. This never happened, it's just bait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:57 AM
23

Tech would be full of women. Men would avoid tech careers because their fragile egos wouldn't be able to handle working with so many skilled, intelligent women. We women would have productive meetings where our input is heard and respected, and nobody would be wasting time bullshitting. There would be more research on, and a better understanding of, diseases that affect primarily or only women. (I firmly believe that if men had to live with endometriosis, there would be better treatment options …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:46 AM
26

He could've just said "I'm too broke to be dating" and saved himself the wall of words. Also, what's with his comment about making $16/hour? Is he a student? Edit: Not trying to income-shame, only asking because in some areas of my country (the US), it would be extremely difficult for an adult to get by on that income.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:22 PM
502

Thank you for mentioning #4! If a LVM knows a woman wants children, he'll dangle that possibility like a carrot and use it string her along FOREVER. He doesn't care if she's 39 and might have fertility issues. He'll use her trust and hopes to manipulate her, and waste her time, and not feel guilty at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:48 AM
175

"Execute situations" sounds like something a man would say. Or an alien.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:25 PM
3

That's horrifying. It seems like a gynecologist, of all providers, should be aware of potential IUD issues. What the hell, already. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:21 PM
3

Thank you for sharing this thoughtful post and gorgeous flowers. You write beautifully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:10 PM
49

And the degree isn't even there end of it, because these men will continue on to careers in STEM, and where they'll yet again inflict themselves on women peers. Sure, men like this may eventually wise up and become better at hiding their beliefs, because HR. But I don't think they ever really change. Instead of continuing to be overtly awful, they begin exercising the death-by-a-thousand-cuts version of misogyny. With the prospect of dealing with these assholes for the rest of their working live…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:44 AM
525

Meeting a man at a gas station sounds like a great way to be abducted and go missing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:42 PM
71

Wait a sec, THIS potato is Piers Morgan?!? This man seriously thought he had a chance with a lovely, intelligent woman like Meghan Markle? May God grant us all the same confidence as this mediocre white man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 10:21 PM
13

As romantic as dog shit, for sure! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:16 AM
45

I hope things are going better for you now. "Men" should really be considered a risk factor for autoimmune disease in women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:07 AM
88

I had a major flare up of an evil incurable autoimmune disease I didn't know I had, all during the worst relationship I've ever been in. To this day, I blame that ex for the additional progression of my disease.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:49 PM
90

So I made the mistake of googling "man steals sex doll", because I was wondering if there was an article about this particular incident. I learned that apparently, stealing $4500 sex dolls is a thing. Seriously, it happens somewhere every year. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:28 AM
64

Same. They're struggling because they're losing privilege? Let me get out the world's tiniest 🎻.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:04 AM
97

Right?!? A classic white man problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 12:14 AM
17

That mental picture is amazing. 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 11:03 PM
56

Huh, sounds like a fetish. Also, I want the name of his girlfriend's colorist, if her red is really that natural-looking. Red can be so tricky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:53 PM
65

Yes! Or if he says he lived with a longer-term girlfriend and it ended when she threw him out. If his ex was so upset/angry she kicked his ass out of her home, there's a damn good reason for it. Learn from that woman's mistakes and avoid him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 09:30 PM
17

I feel like a lot of these tasks are just the baseline for being a decent, helpful human. This sounds like the monologue of a woman who's spent years being unhappy with the bare minimum, but then started seeing a pick me therapist who encouraged her to "practice gratitude". I mean.... If she's genuinely happy, well... Good for her. But it sounds like she's trying awfully hard to convince herself of something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:42 AM
191

I'm struggling to understand how avoiding men who are struggling with their finances is "strange". Dating costs money. A man who's "struggling with his finances" should not be participating in optional activities that may cost him money. We're helping these guys out by avoiding them. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:08 AM
18

She's probably been faking enjoyment for years and finally decided to stop. I'll be stunned if she doesn't divorce him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:16 PM
33

I find it interesting that Eve is presented as the human who took the fruit first and shared it with Adam, thereby initiating The Fall. Why her and not him? It's not like there's a ton of character development explaining this. Did the writer (or God, depending on how you believe it) just flip a coin, or was there an intent to make an example of Eve as a curious woman who wanted more than she had? It seems like such a simple, innocent story, but I'm skeptical that it actually is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 03:08 AM
12

Thank you. I needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:35 AM
40

High-interest debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:08 AM
20

Or a really good flashlight. I didn't ask for a flashlight, though. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:01 AM
35

I'm sad for this woman. Here she is, trying to be a perfect woman/mother/wife and the clod she's with doesn't appreciate any of it. I mean, hasn't that happened to most of us at some point, pre-FDS? Here's hoping she eventually wakes up and realizes she deserves better. Also, fuck that cOmMuNiCaTe crap. If her husband can't see how much easier she's making his life, there's no helping him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:34 PM
20

"His ex of 7 years" If he was willing to string his last girlfriend along, he'll absolutely do it to the next one. We women need to stop thinking we'll be the exception for these LV commitmentphobes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:15 PM
6

And I thought it was just me, too! 😆 If they spoke like normal people, though, they'd totally miss out on the ego boost they get by saying "Correct". 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:28 PM
9

Same. This is horrible, but it occurred to me that the dominance of men in IT may be one of the reasons jobs in this field pay pretty well. I mean, if most IT workers were women, men would probably undervalue their labor, and I'd be making half what I do. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:10 PM
3

Same! I feel a little rage-y every time it happens
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:59 PM
125

No wonder the poor woman struggled with her mental health. (Am being completely serious, not flippant.) Constantly being treated like that would be terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 11:35 PM
45

I'm thinking about a career change too, for the same reason. I really like the work, but am sick of the dang men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 11:21 PM
159

In my career (in IT) I work mostly with men and, as such, encounter mansplaining every week. Collecting data for design decisions is a recurring part of my role, so a common scenario is: I ask a simple question, one that needs only a simple answer, and a man responds with several minutes of mansplaining, as though I could not possibly understand what I was just asking about, or the complexity of the topic at hand. (Wrong! I know exactly what I'm talking about!) Sometimes I just let them go on un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:24 PM
26

Agree. I've been married and the actual acts of getting married, and being in a marriage, aren't impressive at all. In the West, at least, any woman with low standards can pull that off within a couple years. Getting married was one of the easiest things I've ever done. Maintaining a happy, healthy marriage, however, IS an impressive achievement, but I rarely see that celebrated to the degree weddings are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:10 PM
29

I was pleasantly surprised by the guy in the yellow shirt from the second video (where a teenage boy abuses his girlfriend in public). He actually intervened to try and stop the situation, and help the girl get out of there. Sadly, he appeared to be the only man who cared - the rest of them were useless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:31 PM
20

YES. My last ex was a rotten human and champion gaslighter, and he would actually say some of things you mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:20 AM
342

This poor young woman is his 5th wife, and reportedly he proposed over FaceTime. His last marriage was in March 2019, and it lasted 4 days. So classy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:29 AM
14

Wow. I've never thought of it like this before, but completely agree! Thank you for sharing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:16 PM
51

Yes! Every time I see a write up on a crime sub that describes a female victim as "attractive", I assume the writer is a man, and he gets off on the idea of a beautiful woman being hurt. Because really, IT DOESN'T MATTER if the victim was attractive or not. Men assault and murder both beautiful and ugly woman. What matters is who she was as a human, and who is missing her - not whether she was pretty enough to be an "attractive" victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 04:13 AM
63

I started to watch this, but was cringing so much I had to stop. Sooooo much second-hand embarrassment for this woman. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:30 AM
79

Yep, I've noticed this. Remember Brett Kavanaugh, during his confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court? He got all red-faced and teary-eyed, like a kid who'd dropped their ice cream cone. (How dare a woman like Christine Blasey Ford get between him and his dream job! He's a white man with a pulse, he DESERVES that dream job! 🙄) There's an SNL skit of this where Matt Damon plays Kavanaugh. That skit is actually a pretty accurate depiction of Kavanaugh's reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:55 AM
48

Imagine being so psychologically weak and emotionally unstable that you throw a murder-tantrum. 🤔 I know it's unkind to mock to mentally ill, but I'll happily make an exception for this piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 12:11 AM
11

Ha! Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:27 PM
478

"I feel so much hatred for myself." Good. You should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:23 PM
119

If he likes the goddamn ring so much, HE can wear it. He didn't even pay for the whole thing in the first place! How does a man this cheap think he has a right to be so friggin picky?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:17 AM
57

Ohhh yes, I know what you mean. I work with a few men who also do this. The only way I can get a word in is by interrupting and talking over them until they shut up. And most of the time, they aren't even providing necessary or useful info in their monologues. They're just mansplaining and speculating and enjoying the sounds of their own voices. Agree re: the dirty bag of dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:12 AM
52

"I have similarities with the displayed person but it is not me". That is.... amazing. I'm horrified by this asshole, yes, but also in awe of the audacity. I mean.... wow. Wow. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 11:59 PM
73

I can't even with this advice columnist. That response made me rage-y.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:53 PM
60

Ironically, I feel less inclined to have sex with men BECAUSE they keep trying to do porn shit in bed (hair-pulling, ass-slapping, jackhammer, scrubbing the clitoris like they're waxing a car, etc, etc). That kind of low-quality sex isn't worth my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:46 PM
10

I love when they assume we care about their opinions. I'm on this sub precisely because I give zero shits about the opinions of random men online. This guy needs to take his case over to one of the relationship subs, where pick mes will be tripping over each other to validate him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:37 PM
18

Yep, here's hoping she figures that out soon...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 10:26 PM
62

She's right. Given the pay gap, a man is already likely to be paid more than a woman for doing the same job, and doing it less well. This means that, if a man is making less than a woman, he's either lacking in ambition or has a completely different set of priorities (and they'd be incompatible because of that). I think women also need to consider the long-term impacts of an income discrepancy. If the woman is the higher earner, and all other factors are equal, she will have more money saved for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 04:27 PM
97

I hear ya. The single guys traveling alone worry me the most - maybe he's a HVM going to visit his grandma, or maybe he's the next Bundy. If the place is relatively empty, I'll notice who's driving the cars, and try to time my restroom visit so I'm going in when another woman does, preferably a woman who also is also traveling alone or is traveling with a family. (A woman traveling with a man is probably safe, but I can't rule completely out the possibility that he's a threat, and she's a raging…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:42 AM
134

Oh, GROSS! I have an ex who, at one point in the relationship, mentioned he'd cleaned his apartment. He went on about it for several minutes, too. I couldn't figure out why the heck he was making a big deal out of something mundane like cleaning. Later, I realized that was probably the first time he'd cleaned in at least a year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:54 PM
80

Not only am I angry that I have to do these things, I'm angry that living like this feels normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:26 PM
115

Been married, can confirm - marriage is indeed a great deal for heterosexual men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:10 PM
22

That sounds more like a bad date than a job interview. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 04:01 PM
52

Ooh, I never thought of Alexa/Cortana/Siri like that before, but you're so right! No wonder the default voices are always women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:18 PM
22

Holy heck. You probably know this, but... That guy is an abuser and predator. Please be kind to yourself as you recover. You didn't earn or deserve any of his cruelty. He's just, well... shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:48 AM
47

Oh my God, that man is actual shit. Not a shitty human, but rather, feces assembled in human form. The few items were bad enough, and #5 was friggin disturbing, but then the list just... kept.... going. I really hope you're in a better place now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:19 AM
7

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:27 AM
130

"This art is so deep"? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:55 PM
10

Oh, good grief. Ironically, it sounds like that event affected his life more than yours. I mean, he got himself tied in a knot and bothered to compose a little mansplaining lecture. 🙄 Men are so emotional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:22 PM
85

I feel this so much. I work in a male-dominated field, so encounter this crap at my job every dang week. What helped me was visualizing and practicing how I'd ideally respond in these situations. I'd practice saying my assertive response, and even practiced the accompanying facial expression. I realize that sounds weird, but it really helped me. Enough practice and the behaviors become automatic. Also, I now feel more confident and comfortable navigating situations like these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:23 PM
22

Choked on my coffee when I read that you took the lightbulbs. That's so freaking awesome! Also, you weren't being petty. HE was being petty and hyperdramatic. If he's refusing to negotiate like a reasonable adult, and decides to issue a broad, non-specific dictate, well..... He gets what he gets. You're not a mind reader. If he wanted to keep the lightbulbs, he should've said that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:18 PM
45

"Thinking like a man" should really be considered a category of disability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 02:34 AM
49

I remember that post! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:38 PM
67

Oh God. I've read some of the other comments on this post, and it sounds like you've done everything you can, short of moving (which you should not have to do - this creepy asshole needs to move, not you). It feels like the legal system needs a set of laws around this situation that apply exclusively to men. It's unlikely that a woman who's peeping on her neighbor will eventually rape or murder that person, and that's partly because the average woman doesn't have the physical strength to overpow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:24 PM
70

Yes! There are even some serial killers who - before they began killing - were peeping Toms. Am hoping that OP's local law enforcement takes this situation seriously as well, if she reports. 🤞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 04:21 PM
305

This. The obvious behaviors (being a window peeper, sending creepy texts) are likely just the tip of the iceberg. This man clearly has no regard for normal social boundaries, and that's never a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:47 PM
25

After reading comments about how this guy "sleeps in a sleeping bag", I had to watch this and make sure it wasn't about my ex. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:11 PM
10

Same. It's sad that there are over 100,000 people - presumably women - who are willing to embarrass themselves like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:03 PM
62

He regaled me, over dinner, with a story about the time he purposely peed in a sibling's mouth. As one does, I guess. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:18 AM
50

My ex repeated bad jokes like that too. Not just within the same day, but over months or years. I never laughed, and yet he'd repeat the same lame-ass joke he'd told the day before, and the week before that, and every month before that... Read the crowd, you idiots. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:46 PM
7

If he was using shampoo on his face, what was he using to clean the rest of his body? More shampoo? I mean, if he was using body wash at all, odds are he'd just use THAT on his face and hair, and wouldn't even bother with shampoo. And if he was using bar soap, there's a fair chance he'd just use bar soap to clean his hair. And then he still wouldn't use shampoo. (Yes, I know a man who used bar soap on his hair... for decades.) The last option is that he doesn't clean his body at all, but....I ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:55 AM
26

Add "men who think they're woke because they manage not to be raging assholes to minorities/women", and you've totally described my area. I'm in the upper Midwest region of the US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 04:08 PM
62

"That's not true" <- What my ex said when we disagreed, and I calmly used an "I feel" statement. The fucker actually dared to deny the veracity of my feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:18 AM
225

Honestly, I stopped reading after "He lives with his mom".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:31 PM
27

I'm disturbed that he said this, but straight-up horrified that he THOUGHT it. I mean, he was talking about teaching his hypothetical teenage daughter how to give a blow job. That's either abuse or incest (or both?) and that thought didn't just come out of nowhere. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 05:30 PM
24

This needs to be a movie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:14 AM
42

Is this what it looks like when a man gaslights himself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:36 PM
11

Same, it's so cringe-y that he even said that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:16 PM
70

Now I have this mental image of a neckbearded keyboard jockey INSISTING he's going to Valhalla, while furiously typing away on his laptop. So brave, so manly! Ian, you code like an absolute WARRIOR. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:12 PM
21

That's what I was thinking, too - she was actually a prostitute, but he's calling her a stripper because he thinks that'll be less awful. Either way, that man is trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:48 PM
29

This old dude managed to tuck his saggy ass into skinny jeans? Oh God, no. No. 😧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:26 AM
4

All my exes, right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 12:39 AM
333

Point taken, but I'd say this is also an argument for not having babies with ANY man who's a shallow POS, regardless of marital status.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:20 PM
57

This is because most men are boring as hell. One thing I've realized through hard trial and error is that nearly every man I've ever dated is exactly the same as he was 5, 10, 15 years ago. Maybe he has a better-paying job, maybe a different car, but in the end, he's the same boring human. He's still eating the same type of sandwich for lunch, still nursing along the same bad habits, still telling the same old stories, and still taking vacations to the same old places. He's making no effort to e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:46 PM
24

100% agree. Also, it's concerning to see how many women give men to whom they have zero initial attraction a genuine chance. Men don't do this and don't feel bad about it. Women, on the other hand, will date a "nice guy" and then waste months of their lives agonizing over whether the lack of attraction is a good enough reason to break up (it is).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:00 PM
295

If the tables were turned and SHE had the aggressive cancer, he'd have left her in a heartbeat. Ladies, we need to normalize leaving LVM even when they're sick or suffering. I know that sounds cold, but seriously - with a POS like this guy, there is no reward for sacrificing your time and energy. Get the heck out and let his family/friends/mistresses figure out what to do with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 08:52 PM
9

That looks AMAZING!!! I can't stop ogling that plate - everything looks so delicious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:57 AM
90

And of that 5%, less than 0.000000001% are actually worth the trouble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:49 PM
32

The story about his food ending up in your mouth is seriously one of the most disgusting things I've ever read. 🤢I sincerely hope that you never have to deal with a man that nasty again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:08 PM
52

They weren't actively trying to get pregnant was but stopped using protection? What the heck. Assuming she consented to skipping the contraception, what on earth was she thinking?? He's clearly a conceited asshole, of course, but I'd be interested to hear her side of the story on why the "we'll just do whatever" approach seemed like a great idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:59 PM
47

Oh god, THAT move. The first time a man tried that on me, I was stunned. Couldn't figure out why the hell he'd be doing something so obviously stupid, uncomfortable, and pointless. (Looking back, though, it's obvious he was probably a porn addict.) By the way, if women did that to men's dicks, they'd run away crying and would consider it assault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:05 PM
6

Thank you, me too! I called the gift cards "crappy" because, as you understood, he did not consider my interests. I hate clutter too, so would've been happy with thoughtful gift cards. (Ironically, though, the hardware store gift cards have now become their own sort of clutter, because they've been sitting around unused for several years!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:05 AM
8

Agree. I used to be with a man like that - he only bought me gift cards and half the time, they were for places I'd never shop. (Like a hardware store that's 17 miles away.) I know I mentioned things I liked or trips I wanted to take, but he just kept buying those crappy gift cards, like he wasn't even listening...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 12:35 AM
7

Yep. I recall a time when jerking off was considered an embarrassment, because it meant they couldn't get an actual woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 12:13 AM
26

Agree. Very few men give a crap if women "thrive", or would ever use that word in sentence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:08 PM
99

Absolutely. A man who strings along a forever girlfriend is knowingly wasting years of her life, all for his own selfish purposes. It's an evil thing to do to another human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:18 AM
40

He was trying to control your smile?!? What a POS. Glad you ditched him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:01 PM
34

So he's been either working or studying full-time for a mere 8 years and he already "needs" an extended break? Boo-fucking-hoo. He sounds like a Peter Pan, which is basically a man who, for whatever reason, doesn't wanna do big boy things. I've dated men like this, so have a pretty good idea how this will go. He says he wants to garden, fish, and hunt, but he won't. Or if he does, he'll suck at it because he doesn't have the drive to actually succeed at... well, anything, really. This is the kin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 11:07 PM
12

My last ex, who was the worst man I've ever dated, opened doors for me. For reference, this LV gem was a gaslighting liar who was inexplicably broke, slept on the floor (because he had no furniture), could not cook, would not brush his teeth, and periodically wore underwear with obvious skidmarks. Oh, and he was in his 40s. So yeah, even a man who's a compete loser will hold doors. It's nothing for her to be bragging about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 08:52 PM
38

Oh, they like to believe their lives will still have value when they hit their 40s, and believing women need them is one way to do that. That said, I'm a single woman in her 40s, and have yet to feel lonely because I'm single. It actually feels amazing, not having to deal with yet another limpdick man who's crap in bed and is still dragging around his issues from something that happened 20 years ago. I'd only feel lonely if I actually MISSED dealing with that crap, and I don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:16 PM
14

I checked out the article, which has more photos, and you're so right. His bottoms look even more disgusting up close - visible stains and they're basically falling apart. Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:23 PM
76

Abortion has NEVER been a "casual option". The mere suggestion that it ever could be, to any woman, is insulting to all women and indicative of that poster's complete ignorance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:18 PM
175

Same. Doesn't sound like he or the sex had anything to do with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:54 PM
26

Hmm, it can't be healthy for him to be so angry and hateful. I mean, what if his next tirade triggers a stroke, and he ends up severely impaired, permanently disabled, and completely unemployable by the age of 50...? That would be terribly unfortunate for him. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:02 PM
17

No. Literally every man I've had a serious relationship with has had at least one box full of crap from at least one ex - mementos, gifts, letters, whatever. And I'm talking about boxes of crap they'd had for 3, 5, or more than 10 years! They won't go through those boxes, but they won't throw them away, either. It's bizarre.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:19 PM
18

Pleated front khakis? Holy heck, NO. 😧Did he just surprise you with those on a date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:38 PM
23

Yep. I'm 42. I am almost never attracted to men my age, because they are so, so unattractive. And that's largely due to factors within their control - their clothes/style choices, their level of fitness, and their personalities. It's appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:20 PM
22

Cackling because this is so true 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:29 AM
48

Wow, this makes me extra glad to be single right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:32 PM
8

I'm ashamed to admit that I DID believe him. Never making that mistake again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:24 PM
232

For what it's worth, I've discovered a certain class of LVM who won't use the word "crazy", but will tell selectively you stories about their ex that make her sound crazy. My ex did this when he talked about his ex-girlfriend. Always sounded like he was trying to be sensitive (didn't call her names, wasn't mean) but pointedly told stories that made her sound unstable. I eventually realized that he was a selfish, manipulative, gaslighting asshole who used and emotionally abused women. Then it all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:45 AM
49

This man deserves to have his feelings hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:05 AM
4

I can only agree. I've never been in a relationship with a man where the benefits to me were actually worth all the time, energy, money, and overall trouble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:51 AM
77

Agree, it's internalized misogyny. My own OBGYN is a woman and she's amazing, but I've seen other female providers who were terrible in every way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:32 AM
28

Good Lord. This sounds like something a man would write. In all seriousness, though, if this ever happens to you and you're alone, you can mimic the Heimlich maneuver by throwing yourself over the back of a hardbacked chair, so it hits you where someone's fist normally would when performing the maneuver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:27 PM
38

This. Sex is rarely worth the effort, unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:17 PM
7

Thank you! I was hoping that was the intent of the post, but obviously was a bit puzzled by the meme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:40 PM
3

Yeah, I might be. Can you help me understand it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:30 PM
11

I appreciate your point, but.... This meme pretty much answers your question, and not in a good way. She's using cooking oil instead of motor oil... 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:09 PM
106

I refuse to believe that a man with such pathetic mastery of the English language makes 7 figures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:00 AM
7

Your roommate took a dump on the stairs because he wanted a cleaner house? Did I read that right??? 😧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:07 AM
57

One of those t-shirts with a tux printed on it. He's that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 11:42 PM
10

"Oh, I suppose that happens occasionally" < A comment he made about his chronic and significant erectile dysfunction, which happened 100% of the time. I had asked him to seek medical help, and then he gaslit me with this response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:16 AM
12

Would that be an MPsych - NPD? If so, I'll be adding that to my email signature at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 12:50 AM
62

"Women are like children and cannot fend entirely for themselves"? Tell that to my retirement accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:50 PM
42

Totally agree. One of my worst exes LOVED American Psycho. His eyes would light up and he got all giddy talking about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:21 PM
72

Same. I suspect there's a direct correlation between how LV a man is and how much he likes Adam Sandler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:22 AM
7

Oh gosh, your ex sounds SO much like mine. Nothing is fair, everyone's out to get him, whine, whine, whine 🙄... So toxic. Glad he's your ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:16 AM
13

This. Communicating just teaches them how to better screw over the next woman. Better to ghost and leave 'em clueless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:00 AM
15

Agree. He isn't telling her the whole story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:07 AM
14

Oh, I'm not disputing that he suffers from death grip. I'm very aware that this is a thing and have encountered it IRL. What I'm saying that it isn't the full explanation. For example, he may prefer the feeling of his own hand not only because it's tighter, but also because he's realized he isn't that attracted to her anymore. (And maybe he's started screwing around with another women, or man, who knows.) LVM rarely tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Whatever he's telling her is onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:44 AM
15

So, we know lot of LVM are liars, and will use whatever the safest explanation is for them. This means the vagina-blaming excuse is just the excuse he believes is least likely to disrupt the status quo, and it's probably only 10% - if any - of the whole truth. (I know, that's dumbass logic, but I've seen LVM do it time and time again.) The other 90% is probably something we'd rather not consider. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:13 AM
8

THANK YOU. I've wondered if I was being paranoid, but... It just seemed so odd. I never found out what he was actually doing on his phone, but he'd changed some other behaviors too. Just had a bad gut feeling about it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:09 PM
12

How about waking up and using their phone in the middle of the night (when they previously would've been sleeping)? Had an ex who began doing this around the time things went downhill. He began randomly accusing me of cheating at that point, too (I wasn't). Have any of you ladies noticed a confirmed cheater doing this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 07:37 PM
13

"Spiritual midwife" is the perfect name for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:39 PM
12

I'm sorry you're going through something so scary. I was diagnosed with a different chronic disease a few years ago, and it was a really frightening time. Please know that your goals are still there, waiting for you. That awesome, happy life you thought you'd have? It's still an option. Don't give up on it. You might have to come at some things from a different angle, but you can still get there. Don't give up on yourself. Also... Having Crohn's doesn't change your value as a woman. A truly HVM …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:33 AM
3

Wow, a little touchy. To answer your question, I did read your entire post. If there's something else people need to know, please update it so we can all be better informed. At any rate, the fact that you haven't talked to him since makes this even more puzzling. Why are you spending your energy wondering around this? I'm really curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:26 AM
3

I don't mean to seem rude, but why are you spending energy on this? Dude's got issues, and like a lot of dudes who have issues, it sounds like he's milking the situation to get as much attention and sympathy as possible. And now he's hinting at something he can't share - so mysterious, leaving you with a cliffhanger! - to keep you enticed. And you know he's trying to manipulate you. Life is short, so why spend any of that precious time trying to sort out this man's shitshow?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:15 AM
328

Hid in the bathroom on his phone, huh. It's either porn or he's cheating on her. Maybe both. Sounds like this poor woman hasn't caught up with reality yet, since she seems to think they're still going to build a house together. Newsflash: Her asshole husband is done. He's done with her, with their child, with the marriage, and he deeply resents her. Hopefully she'll figure this out and plan a future without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:12 PM
3

If their relationship is already at the point where she's asking a male co-worker for sex advice, it's over. This guy is either incredibly dense or completely naive. (Or this is a troll post.) Also, I'm having a time feeling any pity for a woman who does something as low class and trashy as asking co-workers for sex tips. Bringing one's sex life to work is incredibly LV. These people deserve each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 02:57 AM
58

The bragging-about-his-sister thing is really creepy. Sounds like he's attracted to her. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 02:46 AM
23

It blows my mind that she's asking how to make him stop sexually assaulting her. This is a side effect of a patriarchal faux-feminist culture; a woman who don't understand it's her right to revoke a man's access to her body, without explanation, when the man repeatedly rapes her. This is sad. Hopefully she dumps that piece of trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:24 PM
82

My theory: If there's a bad smell, it's probably the man's fault. I mean, there are men in this world who don't clean their dicks or butts properly, if ever. So all that nastiness is just marinating down there and is transferred to their partners, who then develop flora issues and infections. This actually happened to me - I began to have chronic infections while with a man who (I later discovered) had subpar hygiene. When we broke up, the infections ceased.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:35 AM
87

Only his money until she divorces his deadbeat ass and gets child support AND alimony!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 02:38 AM
44

Any guy who can't be arsed to propose properly, IN PERSON, is a lazy fuck who shouldn't be getting married anyway. I've been married, and frankly, I think the proposal is a mini preview of what you can expect in the marriage. This Zoom proposal crap is a wee little omen of doom. Edit: Autocorrect foiled me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:41 PM
14

It sounds like this man will drag you down. Odds are excellent that he's exactly who he was back when you dated him. Unlike what the Hallmark channel depicts, men like this do not change. You've been working on yourself, but has he? Doubt it. Don't get back on the rollercoaster and sacrifice your well-being for a man. You deserve better than that. Finally...if you never gave him your e-mail, it's possible he hunted it down in his own, which is creepy and stalker-ish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:54 PM
41

Sorry, in what universe is Elon Musk a HVM? Caused it ain't this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:32 PM
25

My God, what a baby. He should really be ashamed of advertising how weak he is, but he'd need self-awareness to recognize that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 08:21 PM
92

I just calculated that, in my last relationship, I provided at least $15,000 worth of free therapy. First, I defined "free therapy" as time spent listening to him bitch and whine about issues he could control but had no intention of changing (and never did change). Then I figured a low end estimate of 1 hour per week x the # of weeks we were together x the approximate cost per one hour session a psychologist in my area would bill an insurance company. Mind you, this asshole had excellent medical…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:38 AM
52

They aren't washing their hands. Here's a little story for you: A male relative of mine had to drive cross country during the early months of COVID, when everyone was being told to wash their hands. By necessity, he ended up using a lot of public restrooms. He later commented on how surprised he was to see other men actually washing their hands thoroughly for a change (or washing them at all). So yeah, if you were assuming men wash their hands as well or as often as you wash yours.... Surprise! …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:50 PM
11

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:43 AM
36

Since he doesn't specify what KIND of female he's looking for, I'm just gonna assume he means sheep. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:47 AM
19

Million dollar questions. I'd say they're off somewhere whining to women about it. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:40 AM
169

The first 10-18 years of a boy's life are only going to be "shaped mostly by his mother and female teachers" if his father is a fucking deadbeat. Also, there'd be more male teachers if more men would go onto teaching. So! This is a male problem, and something men can fix. I can't even be bothered to address the rest of that dumb shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:23 PM
33

I could never respect a man who calls a sandwich a "sammy". That is all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 11:43 PM
23

Vehemently insisting, too quickly, that porn is terrible and he never watches it. An ex of mine, who had chronic limp dick issues and favored jack-hammering porn-style sex, did this. There might've be other early warning signs but I was so naive. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 06:31 PM
17

I'd seriously pay for a service like this, if for no other reason than to warn other women about my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:15 AM
29

Honestly, Colonel Sanders looks more appealing than 95% of men my age (40s). I mean, he's fit, wearing clean clothes, and is actually grooming his facial hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:17 PM
9

Wow, that should've been a major red flag to her when they started dating. As long as he refuses to deal with his feelings like an adult, she's basically in a relationship with him AND his dead girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:05 PM
106

Yes, creepy and cringe-y.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 08:35 PM
29

"while staring at your gross feet" So true! I'm dying.😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:25 AM
72

Don't forget the ones who only want porn-style sex, where you have to contort yourself into positions that are literally only stimulating for the man. And then the guy promptly goes soft when you finally get him to try a position that actually works for you. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 12:26 AM
11

I think this whiner needs to ask himself WHAT HE DID that made her not want him there. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:13 AM
56

And third, most of recorded human history has probably been recorded by men. Men who - fourth - were taught to write when women were not, and - fifth - take credit for women's contributions in order to compensate for their own inadequacies. This guy's argument is only valid for a society that exists in a vacuum, where sexism isn't a thing and men are never selfish asses. Dude's a moron. Edit to clarify: My point is, any records of who invented what are potentially inaccurate, as record-keepers i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 05:16 PM
7

Oh my God, NO! That's friggin horrifying. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:13 AM
14

As a woman who once dated a guy with recurrent skidmark issues, I'm now pondering whether it's worse to wear clothes streaked with mouse poo, or human poo. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:39 PM
7

Yes! Thank you for saying this, you describe it so perfectly! I think that men in general are socialized to believe that what they say carries more weight, so suspect that treating their emotions as the Most Important Thing Ever stems at least partly from that. I mean, they're MEN, they say Important Things, so an expression of emotion is a Big Deal, and must be acknowledged. (Throw this asshole a parade, he just expressed a feeling and didn't assault anyone! 🙄) Who knows, though. I'm in my 40s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:21 PM
414

Okay, crap like this is why I may purposely stay single forever. Here's what I've observed in the last two decades of my dating life. Man, when they have strong/scary feelings: They freak the fuck out, have to go on some flipping quest to find themselves, or just punch a hole in the wall. They're slaves to their feelings and can't function until they've processed them. "Processing them" may involve draining the life force out of a woman by whining for days, weeks, even actual years on end, but n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:35 AM
2

While I'm also grossed out, you may want to black out his user name. Leaving it in screenshots is frowned on in his sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:53 AM
69

Hard boiled eggs, eh? In other words, he can't cook anything, at all, and his poor kids live on McDonald's. Every man I've met who brags about being able to prepare easy crap like eggs has been completely unable to cook, and lives on takeout. Same for men who brag about their grilling skills - that's literally the only kind of food preparation they can manage. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:02 AM
16

So true. Am over 35 and have zero fucks left to give about the feelings and wants of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:46 AM
38

He doesn't want to pay for your birthday dinner? Seriously, why isn't he your EX boyfriend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:06 PM
5

Yes! I am in IT and have noticed the same at my job. All the major drama was courtesy of the men. The blow ups that require manager intervention, the whining, the gossiping about co-workers they didn't like- all of that was the men. It's like they never developed the ability to cope with even minor negative feelings. And I agree, this isn't nature, it's nurture. Learning how to maturely manage one's feelings is basic adulting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:35 AM
25

Cracking up because I can totally see some men doing this, blaming the recipe, and then mansplaining everything in a way that makes them look like a hero 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:33 AM
30

I've been staring at this photo trying to understand how the hell he screwed up frosting so badly, and I got nothin'. Was this really frosted by an actual adult? I did a better job of frosting cakes when I was 10. This cake is an insult, both to cakes and his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:00 PM
7

My thought exactly. He probably had a wicked case of erectile dysfunction, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:32 AM
36

She was kissing him on the forehead, and he thought that meant she LIKED him? Alternate interpretation: She realized he was nuts but was trying to act normal until he was gone, because she knew he was an insecure freak, and she wouldn't be safe if he got upset. So she compromised by kissing him on the forehead and then silently prayed he'd GTFO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 12:05 AM
8

For real! It's like he disappeared off the planet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 11:25 PM
43

Wow, my boyfriend of 3 years, also 35+ years old, did that too. I suspect he began cheating on me around 5 months before the ghosting. Glad the trash took itself out, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:55 PM
13

Hey, at least he was attentive enough to actually notice SOMETHING. 😆I had a very small benign breast lump for years, and noticed a direct correlation between a man's skill as a lover and whether he discovered that little lump. That said, one of the worst men I've ever dated found it immediately, so the ability to locate and report a breast lump doesn't necessarily mean a man is an awesome person. It just means he's having a brief moment where he's decided to not be an asshole. That's all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:16 AM
40

Oh, wow. Then I guess I've dated a whole bag of onions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:23 PM
14

I hope that, whatever it is, you're given a benign diagnosis. You're so much better off without that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 10:54 PM
37

And this is exactly why I don't hike, camp, or backpack alone, despite wanting to. To the ladies who are braver than me: Do you ever carry something for protection (from men), like a weapon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 10:31 PM
173

It IS sad. I know a few men who were sexually abused as children. In all cases, the abusers were male. Men need to call out their own. Edit: I can't type
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 05:48 PM
24

This comment - on this post - is cracking me up! Thank you, I desperately needed the laugh! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:33 PM
30

"We have been engaged for over 8 years." 🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:26 PM
41

Yep. And how about the baby daddy drama after that? Yikes. While I have sympathy for her experiences with Rushdie, she's not the best role model for women looking to improve themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:24 AM
35

Here's a disgusting thought: That article is probably being maintained for and by men who actually want to commit bestiality. Outside of law enforcement, they're pretty much the only ones who'd need to know where it's legal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:58 PM
19

I'm beginning to think that a fascination with beastiality is just a standard NVM/LVM trait. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:53 PM
158

Anyone else think he's cheating on her? Even some of worst LVM I've known have enough sense to show up for things like this. I mean, they know the bar's on the floor, so it's an easy win for them to pick up some fast food, come over, and zone out on the couch (the bare minimum, really). This guy clearly gives zero shits, though, and this would've been a great opportunity for him to visit his other girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:56 PM
28

Says the man with multiple chins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 08:00 PM
21

Agree. I want to believe there's also a third category of men who know they have a problem, seek help, and work to improve the situation. Haven't met a man from that category yet, though, so I'm skeptical it exists...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:29 PM
29

Completely agree. He SHOULD hate himself for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:01 AM
23

It's disgusting, how proud he sounds about inventing his own solution for his pedophilia. That's not really something to brag about. Bet you anything he wants to be called "Daddy" during sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:00 AM
20

Oh, agree. I just don't understand why, when he's decided not to go, he's being such a Grinch about it. I mean, to me a full day does sound exhausting but I'd still be happy to be invited. It seems like this guy straight up resents his friend for trying to create a fun experience and include him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:30 AM
70

This. I could understand not being able commit to a full day of birthday events or not wanting to. In that case, though, politely decline, do the video, send a card, and get on with life. This guy sounds incredibly childish and bitter, like he's really been stewing over this. Yikes. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:23 PM
95

Your date has excellent taste in flowers 😉- that bouquet is gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:35 PM
23

Nope. This guy is putting on an act. He's still a turd, only now he's a gilded one. He'll go back to being all smelly and brown once the novelty of the new relationship wears off. Look, when I was in my 20s, I attracted a man who was known in our overlapping social circles as being an ass. When we began dating, several of his friends commented that he'd changed a lot and become a better person. And initially he seemed great - thoughtful, romantic, etc. This same man later began negging me, raise…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:25 PM
17

This. Those never-married middle aged men can be terrrrrrrible. I ended a relationship with one earlier this year, and he was the absolute worst man I've ever been with. Awful, a total shitshow, 0/10 stars, would not recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:40 AM
80

Sounds about right. I'm in my early 40s and have reached a place where I would be fine with remaining single the rest of my life. Sure, sometimes I miss sex, but it's always the hypothetical amazing sex I've never actually had. Men in general are not useful at this stage of my life and provide nothing that makes them worth my energy. Moving heavy furniture? Nope, I can pay someone. Emotional support? Nope, I can pay a therapist, or talk to friends or family. Fixing things? Nope, I can do it myse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:52 AM
3

Oof, I can really relate to this one 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:59 PM
35

Yep, this happens. Despite a lifetime of good health habits, I have several chronic illnesses and doctors have mistreated every one of them. Unfortunately, both male and female doctors have written off my symptoms and misdiagnosed me. And surprisingly, of those, the worst were the women. You know those women who seem to hate other women? Some of them become doctors, too. So ladies, please don't make the mistake of assuming you can always trust a doctor, just because they're female. You need to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:44 PM
53

If sex is like air, why are so many of them choosing to live with untreated erectile dysfunction?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:06 PM
12

Someone needs to tell this guy that the following types of encounters aren't "sex": -Encounters where he can't get it up or keep it up. -Encounters where he comes prematurely. -Encounters where the woman doesn't come as well. If he excluded those, I bet he'd discover he's having less sex than he thinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:08 PM
55

Or sometimes as abnormal weirdos. You ever see the beginning of the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, where Belle is going about her day, reading her book, and the whole town is singing about how strange she is? She was just a young, single woman being herself and that was spun as being weird and unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:59 PM
39

Seriously, given the size of this community, I'd believe at least a few of us HAVE dated the same man IRL. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:36 PM
16

What a friggin maniac! It's a shame he'll never understand how pathetic and unstable he sounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:44 PM
37

Animal... brothels...? Is that seriously a thing??😳Am afraid to try googling that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:15 AM
4

I've found it helps to set new goals for the future, ones that make my life better and happier. Little goals like a new healthy habit, and big ones like traveling abroad. That makes me focus on MY future, rather than obsess over the one I imagined with him. If I find myself getting into a rut thinking about the ex (for example, wondering again and again why he did something), I try to distract myself with activities that'll help me achieve those goals. Also, it's helpful to make a list of everyt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:19 AM
180

100% agree. My last ex always asked if I wanted to "hang out", even after we were exclusive. I realize now he used that terminology because it saved him from having to plan or commit to anything. And he certainly did treat the entire multi-year relationship as something casual. Never again will I date a man who starts things by suggesting we "hang out".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:52 PM
10

Yes. I am also impressed when a man uses multisyllabic words and can speak/type in complete sentences. Sadly, I'm 100% serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:28 PM
2

This collage is giving me flashbacks, but whatever, it's BRILLIANT. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:57 AM
8

Considering many men either pee or drip all over/around the toilet (every dang day of the month!), it's remarkable your co-workers were being a bunch of pansies about a little blood. Shame on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:07 PM
15

I can answer question #2 - recently broke up with a man who did these things. (Am still learning, though, so I can't yet answer 1 or 3!) -He's always got an excuse when you bring the topic up. He's too stressed about his job to discuss marriage, or it's too late, or he's tired, or he "just hadn't thought about it lately". -When you bring it up, says he "thinks about marriage all the time" but never actually brings the topic up on his own. -He says he's "always seen himself being married" (which …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:38 PM
13

Aw, you hurt his widdle feefees! 😂 A simple civil rejection and he's already coming unhinged, though? Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:20 PM
21

None of the men I've dated in the last two decades have ever noticed or cared if I cleaned the house (mine, theirs, anyone's).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:13 PM
1

Those jeans do not look clean. I can smell the funk of dirty, crusty denim just looking at this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:45 PM
12

Agree. I don't understand why a 26 year old man would need his parents' help to get a car. There's gotta be a backstory he isn't mentioning...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:23 PM
4

Oh my goodness, this is amazing and I seriously can't stop laughing. Such impressive delusion! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:05 AM
18

Agree. Also, if he's that desperate to get coupons in his 30s, he's either broke or cheap as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:53 AM
238

I can totally see a pick me saying this, but also gotta wonder if it's propaganda written by a man. Either way, the "We still have a great marriage" comment is comedy gold. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:01 AM
50

The mindset that women must have a role in "fixing" a man's chronic dick issues exists only because it benefits men. As long as a woman tolerates chronic dick issues, the man has surprisingly little motivation for taking responsibility and working on a solution to the problem. Why would he? He's got a woman who provides all standard girlfriend services (and tiptoes around the topic of his broken dick, and soothes his ego) and he can still get his jollies from porn. OP, you're doing the Lord's wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:42 AM
60

I promise you, your ex was lying when he said he didn't have issues with the next woman. He totally did, and was lying because he's deeply humiliated by it (and he's an asshole). Glad you're done with him. On to better things!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:13 AM
8

I know one of them was divorced twice by the age of 40. Given how manipulative and toxic he was, that's no surprise. Another one was later terminated from his job, which he'd been doing terribly at and whining about for years. He's now stuck looking for a job in this COVID economy. From what I can tell, their lives just keep getting worse. LVMs gonna LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:26 AM
2

I think it's fake. That said, it's still awful because it means he wants to involve a medical professional in his effed up fantasy. (Pornsick much?) And that's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:07 AM
9

That's the best he could do? It's such a sad attempt at an insult. Also - you're a total badass, you get through what you have. Wishing you many healthy and happy years ahead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:00 PM
90

Oh jeez, no. No, no, no. I've smelled BO like that before and felt gaggy just reading that. Seriously though, do men ever post comparable posts in AITA ("my girlfriend is depressed and stinks, but I feel terrible for having basic standards, am I an asshole for wanting her to take a shower?")? I'm feeling like.... no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:24 AM
12

Not been single quite that long, but there's already a heap of things I don't miss: -Wondering if he's cheating -Cleaning up after him -Listening to him whine about his dang job (but doing nothing to change the situation) -The consistently disappointing sex (chronic ED) -The gaslighting -His surprise that his bad decisions actually yielded bad outcomes -Bending my availability around his schedule (never doing that again, thanks FDS!) -Being woken up by his snoring There's nothing I miss at this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:10 AM
4

Is it possible to provide an alternate name (like a middle name or nickname), along with the Google Voice number suggested by another poster? Asking because unless your name is very common, there's still a possibility someone could Google only your name and still get your real phone number and address.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:16 AM
13

Yes. You're practically the same age and you have your own place, why doesn't he? Doesn't this guy have any ambition? That aside, I have an ex who preferred my place to his, and by the end I positively resented him for treating my home like a hotel. I was always cleaning up my place and having him over, and then cleaning up again after he left (I was the maid, basically). If you already don't want him in your home, that's a sign. Find a better man who has his own place and lives like an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:44 PM
5

Wondering the same. These ideas look so fun, but where I live many of these options aren't available (places are closed). I like chilling at home with some takeout, a good book or movie, and wine, but that's gonna get old after a while. (And let's face it, if a man suggested that as a date, it'd be considered low effort! 😆)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 03:25 PM
67

Saving this for when I need a reminder. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:55 AM
67

Where I live, $50,000/year is barely middle class. Oh, to have the deluded confidence of a 38 year old man who brainwashes women into believing he's a "big earner".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:48 AM
5

Same! It's an excellent reality check.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:16 PM
34

He considers Netflix binges to be "hobbies". Good lord. 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:26 AM
35

I'm gonna guess that representative is a man...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:03 PM
34

Seriously. The delusion is strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:31 PM
19

Agree. Seems weird that he tried to make it about sexual orientation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:54 PM
49

"I'm a regular at Chipotle" = "I have no idea how to cook even a basic meal."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:50 AM
3

He doesn't have a car because he's broke. Bet you anything he used to have one, but couldn't afford to replace it when it died. Men of all ages can be broke bums. Alternate possibility is that he's an alcoholic and lost his license, so he can't legally drive a car. It sounds like you're approaching dating with a scarcity mindset, and that's a great way to screw yourself over because then you'll tolerate all kinds of crap just to avoid being alone. Anyhow, this is pretty cut and dried. Ditch him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:03 PM
5

Hey. Don't be so hard on yourself. You weren't well, and you couldn't help what was happening in your brain. Think of it like this - let's say this happened to a friend of yours, but instead of having bipolar, she'd been hit by a car. Would you berate her for how she was handling a relationship, when she was already injured and broken in a hospital? No, of course not. You deserve the same kindness you'd show to that friend. You were doing the best you could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:34 AM
14

Loved that episode 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:25 PM
19

Laziest fiance ever. He's had a "few years" to find a new ring and save up, but instead has apparently spent that time just planning to give this poor woman someone else's ring. Hope she ditches him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:17 PM
13

Red flags galore. Please listen to the other posters. This man sounds like a predator, and I'm afraid you will not be safe dating him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:16 AM
42

If you want to, go for it! If you're thinking of selling it - I'm also divorced and can tell you that the resale value for wedding sets is...not great. If you want a change, though, you might consider resetting the diamond. Alternatively, do you know where the diamond was purchased, and do you have the papers and receipt? If you do, it's worth checking if the store has a trade-in policy. Mine does, so I could trade in my diamond for another one of equal or greater value, and only pay the differe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:33 PM
33

In the US, a 40 year old man without health insurance is a ticking time bomb. I'd rather play catch with a live grenade than date a man who likely has no way to pay for the huge medical bills he'll incur when he has a major cardiac event 10 years from now, a subsequent hospital stay, and then the series of medications and procedures needed to keep him out of an early grave. Depending on the severity of the event, total out of pocket costs for an uninsured person can, in this scenario, exceed $10…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:34 PM
28

Both?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:18 PM
60

Yeah. It looks like he's trying really hard to resist the urge to RUN. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:22 PM
8

Keep it to yourself. The important thing is whether you've done the emotional work to understand why you chose to cheat, and you know how to avoid repeating that mistake. I think the bigger question here is, why do you feel the need to tell him at all? He's not a priest; he's just a not-awful man you've been on four dates with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:30 AM
37

So, I googled them because I was curious. She's beautiful. He, on the other hand, looks like an actual doofus. The proportions of his features are just....odd, and odd in a way that's only gonna look worse as he ages. He's a 4/10 at best. Glass houses, throwing stones, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:14 AM
10

Nope, you're fine. You've already expressed your concerns. He could've chosen to listen and make a change, but instead he blew you off. There's no point in wasting your emotional energy repeating yourself all over again. If he wasn't listening the first time (or the third or the sixth) that's his problem, not yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:23 PM
5

Holy crap, that's frightening. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:13 AM
3

Unicorn porn?!? What the ....??? Where do these men even come from? I think you're right - they're projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 03:46 PM
17

Seriously, I have an ex who would randomly bring up bestiality every now and then. Not just a joke but as a conversational topic. Never found out why, and I consider that ignorance a blessing. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:33 PM
38

Love it! Just a few add-ons: -Wants to "hang out" -Doesn't have a bed -Sleeps on the floor -Doesn't brush his teeth -Repeatedly brings up bestiality for no apparent reason
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:05 PM
11

I'd drop him for the ED alone. If it's a chronic thing, it means he has an underlying issue he isn't coping with and being honest about - maybe porn, maybe a medication that affects him sexually, maybe a health condition like heart disease or diabetes, or maybe some mental health issues that interfere with performance. None of these things should be kept a secret, and all of them require intervention. Don't stay with a man like that unless you're fine with never having proper sex, on your terms,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:35 PM
2

Next! I don't degrade myself by competing for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:16 PM
42

So true. They really are vampires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:31 PM
10

Because in a patriarchal society, men are used to believing their opinions matter (because in a patriarchal society, they unfortunately do). So, many of them are prone to spouting off opinions even if it's rude and irrelevant to do so. You wouldn't do this because you know it's rude, and that other people didn't ask for your input. These men don't think that way, though - they just run their mouths and expect you'll be overcome with gratitude for their bullshit opinions. It's a prime example of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:42 PM
11

Right?! I have an ex who could easily stay hard for 40 minutes, and he didn't seem to watch porn either. He was totally in control of himself and never finished until I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:56 PM
43

Women worry that a man they meet on an OLD app will assault or kill them, and we're supposed to pity the men because these apps are "psychologically taxing" them? World's tiniest 🎻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:02 AM
7

Oh, jeez. I'm sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:54 AM
12

He didn't even care what his children would be named? That's so...sad. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:38 AM
3

Oh, I bet you're right - that approach probably works with pick mes! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:49 PM
84

So he expects you'll want to subject yourself to extra-terrible sex for free? Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:18 PM
30

If his wife cares about her own child at all, she'll divorce him and let the county start bleeding him for child support. Why? Because if she doesn't, I figure there's an excellent chance he'll funnel some of the money he would've spent on their child toward caring for his other child. The other woman will likely, at some point, have her own case opened and then he'll be legally obligated to make regular payments of a set amount to her. However, he is probably not legally obligated to spend a se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 06:37 PM
10

This. If they're regularly leaving the seat up, it's not because they forget; it's because they don't care and they're fine with being disgusting. I lived with a HVM man for several years (it ended due to basic incompatibilities, not his behavior), and in all that time he only left the toilet seat up once. ONCE, because even HVM occasionally space out. When I mentioned it to him he was so, so embarrassed and felt terrible about it. The difference is, he actually cared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:30 AM
7

Agree. He had no business getting into another relationship when he was still grieving like that, and it's sad that she's okay with taking second place to a dead woman. If he was talking to a living woman and hanging on to her picture like that, it'd be called an emotional affair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:42 AM
35

That's an idiotic comparison to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 09:00 PM
28

Honestly, the actual substance or alcohol use is only a small part of the problem. Unless an addict/alcoholic is making a serious effort to deal with the reasons they use, and being brutally honest with themselves, being sober is on its own not enough to ensure a healthy relationship. And sorting through all those issues takes time. I would not, for example, date a man who last used only 1-2 years ago. If he'd been sober over a decade and there was evidence he'd made significant progress (he'd f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 04:07 PM
1

To be honest, one of my first thoughts was that his mother gave him an ultimatum in order to separate him from you. Maybe I'm paranoid, but....With my ex, it became obvious after a while that his mother - and even him, to keep her happy - was trying to manipulate situations so that if she was socializing with him, I couldn't be with them. Actually, she'd probably be doing the same thing as your ex's mom right now. Your ex sounds like a kind man. That's usually an asset in life, but can work agai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 03:20 AM
2

Thank you so much. Your comments about journaling made me realize that until now, I've pretty much only written about good things. But you're right, the bad feelings need to be bled out as part of the process. So I'm gonna start writing about the bad things too, gosh darn it. Thank you. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:15 AM
2

Your story is really inspiring. This relationship negatively affected my health, and I've been doubting my ability to regain fitness. But you've proven it can be done, and then some. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:46 AM
2

I am too, haha. Life is so much better without him! Thank you for the ideas - I've checked out a few of Dr Ramani's videos and think she'll be very helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:32 AM
2

Figuring out one's weak points is such a good idea - thank you for mentioning that. I hope your recovery goes well, and you emerge stronger and happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:29 AM
7

Now I'm curious, was he working on any plans to change his living situation? I get that financially, it's easiest for him to live at home, but here's the thing: This pandemic could go on for a while, and if his mother is that concerned, it might be a loooong time before she is okay with him spending time around other people again. It sounds like his entire social life is shut down until she either changes her mind or he moves out. Was he really just going to stay trapped in that house indefinite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 11:28 PM
54

Did your ex ever stand up for you to his mom? I have ended a relationship with a LVM partly because of his mother, but never a HVM. A man can't choose his mother, but he can definitely choose to grow a spine and stand up to her if she's mistreating his girlfriend/wife. I'd expect a HVM to do exactly that. My LV ex, however, would not and I wasn't willing to continue taking second place to his mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:32 PM
2

Eh, we all make mistakes. The good thing is, you recognized this situation was effed up, instead of tolerating that kind of treatment. Expecting a woman to ask permission before getting a haircut is a controlling behavior, and controlling behavior can mean a man is abusive. Thank goodness he outed himself. Also, I bet your new haircut is super cute - forget what he said and enjoy it! 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:57 PM
28

He knows how long it was. It was probably closer to 6-7 years but he's minimizing it so he sounds like less of an ass. One of my exes once said his previous relationship was "1 or 2 years" long. I later discovered it was over 4 and he'd been stringing her along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:18 PM
170

So true about older men. I have a great aunt in her 80s who moved into senior housing after her husband passed away. Several old men pursued her. She rebuffed all of them, though, later telling me "They all just want a mother. They want someone to cook for them."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:24 PM
61

Yup. If he cared about living in a pigsty, he'd already be cleaning up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:08 PM
2

I was so tempted to do that too, but he would've gone into fighting mode (defensive and gaslighting), and I just couldn't put myself through dealing with that again. But I did cut him off completely, and it's been a huge relief to be done with with his b.s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:02 PM
1

Thank you for reminding me that I DO have control in this situation. In this last relationship, it felt like I didn't have control over anything (he did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted) so I haven't been feeling very powerful lately. But you're right, I can change this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:53 PM
1

I wonder the same thing every time I see a post about a NVM. 😆Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:44 PM
2

It's called Radical Acceptance. It's actually the only one of hers I've read, but it was helpful at a different point in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:25 AM
5

I hear you. I've not been this angry at previous exes either. The difference, I think, is that I now know I deserve better. And you do too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:43 AM
10

Thank you! This ex isn't worth the energy, either. It sounds like I need to think of some activities I can redirect myself to when that anger comes up. Exercise would be a good one - for as often as I've been angry lately, I'll end up insanely fit. Heh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:19 AM
3

Believe it or not, I have one of her books but had completely forgotten about her! Thank you for the recommendation! I'll definitely be checking out the podcasts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:07 AM
14

Your response is thought-provoking - thank you! I love the idea that changing the story releases the anger. There was a time when I was angry with myself, too, but then realized I'd been doing the best I could. For context, I became very sick and received a bad medical diagnosis early in the relationship. So for quite a while, I was focused on coping with the disease, and dealing with an increasingly bad boyfriend was beyond my abilities. At this point, I feel pretty compassionate toward the per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:03 AM
3

Excellent point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 09:40 PM
230

You just matched with the guy and he's already angling for free therapy? Such audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:59 PM
22

This is really a male culture problem. If men want it to be a priority, men can start advocating for themselves, the way women did when they were trying to get the right to vote. I, and many women I know, have spent many, many hours of our lives providing free therapy to men in an effort to support their mental well-being. We listen to their woes and encourage them to go to therapists. We've done our part to support men's mental health. I'm not gonna dispute that men as a group need to prioritiz…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:49 PM
14

Exactly! And if he can't/won't provide for his own offspring, he's not going to provide for his partner either. He'll be a leech like this guy. Always amazes me that women even consider dating these deadbeat losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:50 PM
88

And the men who don't have a bed at all, into their 40s.... 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 02:01 AM
8

This is also something a covert narcissist (google it) would do. So yes, could be a red flag, but hard to say for sure without more info on the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:05 AM
102

Sounds like he has some anger issues around dating. Maybe see a therapist for that like a big boy, mmmkay Andrew?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:01 AM
16

Right?!? She's just trying to run interference now because that's what enablers do for their addicts. Making excuses for her loser son isn't doing him any favors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:59 PM
12

This. Does the average man do the same mental gymnastics trying to justify a woman's behavior? I doubt it. I just can't see that happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:51 PM
13

Waiting to tell you until after you fell in love is such a deceptive behavior. I mean, it's basically a bait and switch. Glad you got away from that clown. I dated a guy who waited months to tell me he'd spent actual decades of his life with an active and destructive addiction. Wasn't too happy about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:46 PM
8

I needed to hear this today - was just about to start feeling sorry for my ex. Thank you for the reality check!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:30 PM
11

He looks like the Geico caveman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 01:40 PM
111

Actually, I think the main reason women sit in their houses, waiting for sunrise to leave, is BECAUSE of men. Think about it: Do any of you worry that a woman will assault or rape you, if you go out alone at night? If there were no men, I'd leave my straw hut and go on runs at midnight without a care in the world. I think we'd get on just fine without them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:12 AM
17

Conflicting explanations might be another red flag. I have an ex who'd been chatting with his ex (when he and I were together) and waited like a year to mention they'd been communicating. I made a point of asking him, on two different occasions, why he'd waited to mention it. The first time, he said he forgot to mention it. The second time, he said he thought he'd told me they were talking. Edit: I never did find out if he was cheating, but obviously one of his excuses was a lie, and why lie if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:27 AM
21

I hope she never has children with this man. He seems like the type who'd react to a crying baby by shaking it. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything FDS can do for her. It sounds like she sees her cousin's behavior as the problem, not her husband's. She's too deep in the fog right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 12:25 PM
47

I'm humiliated on this woman's behalf. How incredibly embarrassing, to have settled for marrying a man who told her he wasn't attracted to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 04:40 PM
3

I'm divorced. I wasn't able to fully deal with my feelings on marriage or future relationships until the divorce was finalized, and my ex was out of my life. Also, therapy was helpful. Is there a reason you feel you need to make these decisions right now? I mean, it's okay to work through your feelings at your own pace and see where you end up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:51 AM
8

Wow, your husband sounds like a keeper! What a thoughtful, creative gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:32 AM
7

Best gift, from a HV ex: A little book that he made himself, with something he liked about me on each page. It's been years since we broke up, but I've kept it. He was a good man and it was such a sweet gift. Worst gift, from a LV ex: Someone else's Visa gift card with the wrong theme. You know how you can get gift cards with little messages or pictures on them for special occasions? For Christmas he gave me a wedding-themed gift card. Specifically, one that said "Happy Couple" on it. More speci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:27 AM
7

She's been with this cheap weirdo for 3 YEARS???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 04:36 PM
6

Thanks, we did break up. I'm better off on my own than with a man like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:15 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:14 PM
116

And if they stay, there's a fair chance they'll cope terribly and resent their partner. I went through a significant, debilitating health event during my last serious relationship, and got a bad diagnosis as well. My boyfriend at the time hung around being relatively useless. He didn't leave, but wasn't very supportive or helpful. When it became obvious I could not constantly be the active, attractive, attentive girlfriend he was used to, he checked out. Later in the relationship, he had a tantr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:59 AM
17

I'd upvote you a million times for this if I could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:09 AM
21

Instead of making a genuine attempt to be empathetic, he makes it alllll about him. Typical. Men, unlike women, have long enjoyed the benefits of setting the human standard for what is considered ideal and "normal". Clearly this manbaby is very hurt to realize that the ideal he represents, by the sole virtue of having a penis, is actually flawed and always has been. In other words, he and the other boys aren't as perfect as they were raised to believe, and now their feefees are hurt because some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:07 AM
18

So glad you're done with that idiot. That gutter situation would've sent me right over the edge too - water leakage in the basement is no joke!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 03:15 AM
99

Every man I know whose dating history is littered with crazy exes is also a disaster of a human who would drive anyone crazy. No exceptions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 12:35 AM
3

Given how bad some men's hygiene is, that seems like a very real possibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 06:45 PM
17

Thank you for saying this. My thought when I posted that last comment was that basically making a scene on a busy public street would be "safer" than pretending to be nice (because then other people would notice something was wrong). But you're right. When it comes to creepy men, we all do what feels safest at the time. I didn't mean to imply that the other women reacted wrongly by being nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 01:17 PM
69

Notice that he didn't mention exactly what he said to her. That's probably because what he said WAS creepy, or he was weirdly persistent and wouldn't leave her alone. His entire post is crafted to make her sound crazy, so it's telling that he conveniently omits what HE said. Also, the women who supposedly responded positively were probably being fake-nice. Men are notoriously terrible at telling when a woman is just humoring them. This lady is just the first one to put her safety ahead of being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 11:45 AM
22

Yes. He doesn't want any of it. I think he's he's done with her, too, but just hanging out because reality sank in and he's afraid he'll lose money if they split. He probably wants financial transparency so he can use that information when he ends things. Really hope she's hiding some money away for herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:34 AM
167

Ugh, that's disgusting. I know hair jewelry used to be a thing but this is just icky. Thought it was a hairball someone fished out of the drain at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 02:23 PM
32

I want to think it's fake too, but as a woman who previously dated a man similar to this one, would also believe it's real. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 10:13 PM
101

If we women took the collective time and energy we spend on trying to fix men like this, and instead focused it all on bettering ourselves and the state of womankind...I really do think we'd be running the world. (And men like this would've retreated to caves, where they could live out their pathetic existences in sun-less communal filth.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 09:50 PM
21

I'd divorce him for this. Oh, and get an attorney who could bleed the money out of him for the settlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 05:57 PM
116

It sounds like he's picked out a place, made an offer, and just wants your opinion. You might find this flattering but it really isn't. It's actually a red flag. If he seriously 100% saw you living in a house with him someday, he would want you to be able to choose a place with him. He would not be picking a place on his own, making an offer, letting the process proceed up to closing, and then fiiiiiinally asking for your input. Rather, he'd be including you in the house hunt from the beginning.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 07:20 PM
54

"Don't do a lot of intercourse"? That's an odd phrasing. Is English not his native language, or is he just a poorly-designed bot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 04:06 PM
22

This. I don't owe men a little white lie to spare their fragile egos. Presumably any man who's ballsy enough to approach me, despite my resting bitch face, is also strong enough to handle an honest rejection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:59 PM
12

And a marshmallow man who, at the time, had two different women pregnant with his children, and was planning to move on to his third marriage. ...This woman is like Supreme Empress of the Pick Mes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:12 PM
38

She loaned him $65,000!?! That is some insaaaaaane Pick Me shit, right there. Dang.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:44 PM
11

No kidding. What I meant was, this seems like something a person might do to prank or smear a guy. That said, I realize that I may be underestimating how badly men have devolved in the last two decades. Just when I think I understand it, an example like this pops up and I'm horrified all over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:10 PM
14

That has to be a joke. At least, I sure hope it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:25 PM
122

Oh my god, these fucking men. They're everywhere. They're so bizarrely entertained by reducing the suffering of others to a debate. I've known many men like this, and none of them is capable of true sympathy or empathy. They're selfish, horrible people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:20 AM
46

This makes me sad. I think a lot of us women have been conditioned to give others the benefit of the doubt, and to not trust our guts. If something concerns you enough so that you're willing to take the risk of asking internet strangers for input, please pay attention to your gut. You're concerned for a reason, and that reason is valid. That man's history seems like such a glaringly obvious red flag that I really, really want to believe it's a troll post, and that there isn't a real woman out th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:06 PM
5

Did we date the same man?!? 😆 I eventually got sick of it and stopped initiating dates altogether, and then things rapidly went downhill. It was amazing how contentedly lazy and boring he was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:43 PM
19

I had an entire relationship with a man like this. He seemed interested and suggested we "hang out". I got sick of waiting for him to ask me on a proper date, so suggested something. Guess what? He was like that for the whole relationship - never planned any dates, only suggested "hanging out", and if I wanted to do anything other than watching movies on the couch, I had to suggest and plan the dates. All of them. Don't push things ahead with this guy unless you're willing to accept a boring rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:07 PM
21

It feels to me like the boyfriend hasn't fully developed who he is, so he's piggybacking on her disability to help define himself as as person. And agree, maybe some fetishization too. I've seen similar situations on weight loss shows, where a show partipant is more or less disabled by their size, and the partner is their caregiver. Then the person loses weight and doesn't need their partner to continue acting as caregiver, and the relationship tanks because the partner has lost the role that de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:59 AM
5

Ha, good point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:56 PM
32

I think a lot of them honestly can't tell the difference between a woman who's politely enduring their presence and one who's truly enjoying their company. Maybe that's because they have an overinflated opinion of themselves. Maybe they're just that desperate. Who knows. I mean, it's certainly easier on their egos to assume a woman likes them, than to consider a reality where they are annoying, boring, or unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:51 PM
5

Agree 100%. The hunger strike is manipulative. A man this selfish isn't worth going hungry over. A healthier decision would be to divorce his idiot ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:57 PM
15

Where I live, it's pretty much a necessity for able-bodied adults to be able to drive. Not being able to drive can make it more challenging to care for one's self, socialize, or support friends and family. So yeah, if a man doesn't want to be your chauffeur, maybe he'd think that's a dealbreaker. That said, what you think of you matters a lot more than what men think of you. It sounds like you don't feel good about your inability to drive. Is this something you want to change? If so, what can yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 12:08 AM
20

You deserve so many more upvotes for this 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:20 PM
164

Good grief, what happened here? He really thinks his ancient, damaged, old guy sperm is worth something to a woman half his age? If he wanted kids so badly why'd he take over 30 years to sort that out? So many questions... Really hope he's kidding, because ewwww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:04 PM
22

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for saying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 02:31 PM
32

The follow-up video I'd love to see her post: Her: "Hey, have I ever told you how big and satisfying your cock is?" Him: "Nooo...." Her: "Why do you keep trying to fuck me with it, then?..... Hey, I love you. Your dick really IS really tiny, though."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:02 PM
19

I'm embarrassed to admit that I can kind of answer your question. The short answer: I was a Pick Me and ignored red flags. Mea culpa. 🤦‍♀️ The long answer: An ex of mine had bad dental hygiene and yet it took me a couple years - YEARS - to notice. For what it's worth, we weren't living together so I wasn't observing his daily habits. I'd noticed he didn't always brush his teeth when we spent the night together, but figured hey, we all forget sometimes, right? He chewed mint gum alllll the time, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:39 PM
120

Me neither. If I'd been with a man for 6 years without a proposal, I'd be too embarrassed to advertise that fact online. Why show the whole world how little self-respect she has, staying with a man who doesn't take her seriously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 08:46 PM
26

That's a rough-looking 27...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 07:07 PM
4

You are justified in being angry and it's okay to feel that way. You were with a violent alcoholic whose behavior was so effed up that you're now hyper-alert for threats. Being with him must've been a pretty traumatic experience. Now, do you still want to be this angry five years from now? Maybe not. And you wouldn't want this anger to become self-destructive. Speaking as a non-therapist, though, I think what you're feeling right now is pretty normal. It sounds like this is part of your awakenin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:26 AM
26

This isn't you. The man you're seeing now is who he really is in relationships, and I don't think you caused it. This is who he is. Your behavior and general awesomeness might've effected a short term, temporary change but you didn't make him like this. He's not going to change permanently unless he wants to do it for himself. I was once married to a HV man (we split due to basic incompatibilities, not his behavior). Even after years together, he still made an effort to think of activities to do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:24 PM
8

Yeah, me too. It's really good that she's giving her doubts a voice and asking about this.... But I wish she wasn't asking THAT sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:30 PM
34

How can she seriously believe she'll get good advice on this topic from that sub? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 08:47 PM
11

YES. If those hours could be billed like therapy sessions, we'd all be making bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:11 PM
9

Ooh, good advice. Thank you for sharing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:46 AM
71

I'm so sorry about your cat. Losing an animal companion can be just as bad as losing a human one, and your grief is justified. I hope things get easier for you. As for the boyfriend, you're right. I recently ended an LTR with a similarly unconcerned man. He called me on my birthday, not to wish me a happy one or make plans, but to rage on about a non-urgent, ongoing situation in his life. Later I tried to gently explain that I hadn't appreciated the tirade and negativity on my birthday, but he j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:55 AM
19

Look, I'll be honest, I stopped reading after the part where you mention he has no bond with his own 12 year old son and isn't trying to form one. This is how one raises a plant, not a child, and it's a major red flag. He sounds like an indifferent father, and I have never met a high value man who was an indifferent father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:38 AM
66

This bum is only working 20 hour weeks and throwing a tantrum because at some point during that GRUELING 20 HOUR WORK WEEK he has to lose a little sleep to childcare? What a fucking loser. He barely works, he games all afternoon/evening, and he barely takes care of his kid. What an absolutely useless man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 06:12 PM
21

What a selfish piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 10:37 PM
10

I don't know why you're getting downvoted for saying this. I wouldn't want to wear someone else's ring, either. As for effort, I agree. Sure, maaaaybe there are men out there who propose with heirloom rings because they're really attached to the meaning behind the ring, not because they're lazy or cheap (Prince William, for example). But honestly? I think using an heirloom ring can be an easy way out for men who don't want to put in the effort to save money or shop for a ring (which, let's face …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 03:50 PM
60

Those practical women are selling themselves short. Practical doesn't have to mean low quality. I know a woman whose engagement ring is practical for her career (low profile with a setting that won't catch on things) but also high quality - the diamond is sizeable and gorgeous, and the setting is a durable quality metal. That ring will last several human lifetimes longer than a $60 equivalent. There's "practical", and then there's "PickMe practical". Edit: I'm not saying the diamond has to be la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:39 PM
90

So true. Cracks me up that they threaten it like it's a bad thing. I've had plenty of relationships with various types of men - married one, even, so I know what that's like too. And you know what? Being alone has ALWAYS been better than wasting my time on the average man. My time is my own, my money is my own, my home is my own, and I don't get roped into providing hours of free therapy for someone who makes zero effort to cope with their issues. I can do whatever I want whenever I please, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:44 AM
5

Fellow diaphragm user here! Love mine, would never switch back to hormonal contraception. Sorry about your marriage situation, though. That stinks. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 04:09 PM
24

Either someone's trolling Slate, or Slate's trolling its readers. That letter sounds fake (and I hope it is, cause that whole situation is seriously messed up).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:19 PM
5

Okay, maybe it's weird, but I'm gonna create an actual reminder like this too. Love the idea, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:26 AM
36

He had to have a bunch of teeth pulled because they'd rotted solely due to dental neglect. He wasn't brushing or flossing his teeth, or going to the dentist. However, he had great dental insurance and made more than enough to pay for expenses. He was a middle aged man. Seriously, WTF?!? That was really the final straw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:50 PM
12

Oh my gosh, I bet you're right! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:53 AM
77

Well, there's a man who's bad in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:27 PM
98

Boo-fucking-hoo. I've spent entire relationships providing hours and hours of free emotional support to men who are insecure. Quit your goddamn whining buddy, take some personal responsibility for your well-being, and go see a real fucking therapist like a proper adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:02 PM
8

Yes! I remember that post and agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:57 PM
31

They spend a small fortune on takeout. I have an ex who'd buy a full breakfast at one restaurant, lunch at another, and supper at yet another place. He was always broke. Guy was literally running up credit card debt because he refused to cook his own food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:09 PM
63

No kidding. This alone would be adequate grounds to dump his ass. Even dogs know not to pee on the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:00 PM
27

You're 100% right, they're conditioned to think their penises are special and clean. It's interesting, for example, that commercials for bladder incontinence products target only women. I get that women may be more likely to have that issue, but those products are really just designed to prevent pee from ruining one's clothes. Women feel shame and embarrassment when they realize they're leaking urine. Men, on the other hand, strut around with wet pee stains on their underwear like it's normal an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 02:32 PM
12

Spending several years with a man who had a bad case of ED, and believed mutual masturbation was an acceptable substitute. (Yes, I was expected to get myself off.) When I attempted to gently ask that he see a doctor, he gaslit me and acted like THERE WASN'T A PROBLEM. I tolerated this unsatisfying bullshit because I thought I was being "supportive". I minimized my own wants and needs in order to avoid hurting his feelings (in retrospect, he didn't deserve that kind of courtesy). Never doing that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:02 PM
14

Yes, it is! (Just watched the video.) Also, his weird striped pants... He looks like something that was scraped off the sole of a shoe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 07:36 PM
61

Okay, I'll admit that I haven't watched the video yet, but she looks lovely and put-together, and he looks like an absolute bum. Amazing how a man can look like a total slob and still attract someone like her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:46 PM
3

Yeah...I understand that feeling, it does suck. The thing is, no matter how great their life together might look, it isn't. It really isn't. From the sound of it, what they have is the relationship equivalent of a gilded turd - it looks nice from a distance, but up close it's a gross mess. (And you don't want a gilded turd, do you? Of course not!) It sounds like you might be grieving - if so, that's okay. It hurts to be treated like this. If you need to feel sad, be sad for a bit and then go do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:32 PM
8

I'm sorry you went through this mess. Sounds like your ex and his ex have a seriously toxic, codependent situation happening. He's probably happy because she's a woman with low standards who's okay with the fact that he's a loser. She's probably happy because her standards are so low that he seems like a prize. I don't think his behavior has anything to do with you, either. He's a jerk who treats all women badly, and he would've made your life miserable if you'd stayed together. Men like this ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:36 PM
14

Right?!? He's so out of touch, I really want to believe this isn't real. That poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 02:37 AM
47

Unless he's exceptionally fit and healthy (which, let's face it, is uncommon in men that age), there's probably a good risk that she'll end up taking care of him when she's still in her 40s or 50s. When she's 50, he'll be nearly 70. It's a great deal for him, not so much for her...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 07:44 PM
16

I sorry, but it sounds like this man is not romantically interested in you and never will be. However, I'd bet he's still getting something out of the current relationship (a fun time, emotional support, whatever), and he doesn't want to lose those perks. He's using you. Please don't make the mistake of thinking he's some complex, tortured person who's thinking deep, serious thoughts as he sorts out his life, and that he'll eventually recognize your value and reward you for being supportive. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:06 PM
3

Okay, thank you. I'm not disputing that men with divorced parents can have issues - they certainly can - but obviously my own experiences suggest that having married parents isn't always a green flag, either. I think the type of relationship a man's parents have (with each other or others) and how mentally healthy and stable they are is a better indicator of his potential as a partner. Children with dysfunctional parents are at a disadvantage, whether or not their parents are married. If a woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:52 AM
32

I disagree with the advice to avoid men with divorced parents. Some of the worst men I've ever dated had parents who were still married. One of these guys was emotionally abusive with an equally abusive father. Another was a dry drunk with a narcissist witch of a mother. Their parents were still married, sure, but they were also negative value men. No disrespect to your mother, but that particular piece of advice is misleading and unhelpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:20 AM
6

Thank you for writing this, it's well-stated. This is pretty much why I ghosted an ex after a relationship of several years. At first, I agonized over how I could create a thoughtful break up experience, until it finally sank in that it wasn't necessary. I'd already respectfully communicated my concerns in earlier conversations, and he'd demonstrated a consistent pattern of cruelty and lashing out at me. There was nothing more to be said or known, no benefit to me in speaking with him further, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:03 PM
21

I work in a technical field and am the only woman in an 18 person team. At a much earlier point in my career arc, though, I had the unusual experience of working with a smaller group that was all women. The team of women was wonderful - everyone was calm, thoughtful, acted like an adult, and brought actual dishes to potlucks. No drama. It was a friggin utopia. I miss it every day. My current team is a different story. The men... Oh my God, the ego, the mini dramas, the bitching. If something thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:49 AM
4

Jeez, I feel bad for younger women. It'd stink to be 25 and with guys like this as the norm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:41 PM
4

Hmm. Those soft, shapeless arms, the hint of a tummy pudge around the torso, the receding hairline, and the curiously wrinkled, leathery forehead... He doesn't look a day younger than 37. In all seriousness, I believe he might actually be a 27 year old who's not aging well. I know men in their 20s who look about like this guy. What the heck is happening with 20-something guys now days? Two decades ago, when I was in my 20s, they actually looked young and attractive. Now it seems like most of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:32 PM
47

Wowwwww.... What kind of pathetic loser keeps chasing a woman who obviously isn't interested? I mean, that pretty much tells the world that he has no self-respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:10 PM
6

I'd really like to watch this. Would you be able to share the link in your post or tell us where find it? Thank you! 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 08:44 PM
41

No, I would not give a man a chance if I wasn't attracted to him. That'd be a waste of my time and his. And screw what other people are telling you. Would these same people shame a man for not giving an unattractive woman a chance? I'm guessing no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:41 AM
10

It is, but do recall the sheer audacity displayed by the LVM of the world. They lie because they think we're dumb enough to believe them.... And some women do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 11:00 PM
3

This is the relationship equivalent of pulling food out of the garbage and eating it. Why would you do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 04:23 PM
24

One of the reasons FDS has been helpful to me is that, when I joined, I learned about other women's experiences with LVM, and reading community responses helped me better understand what bad male behavior looks like. I really was clueless before that, and have no one IRL who can speak truth like the ladies on this sub. I won't always need that kind of validation, but it was a critical in changing my approach to life, and helping me realize I could do better for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:28 PM
2

Try thinking of it like this: When you fell for him, you weren't seeing who he really is. This means you fell for someone who doesn't exist. Makes a list of all the crappy, stupid, irresponsible things he did and re-read that list daily. This will help you see who he really is. Consider how miserable your life would be with someone who does those things. I'm suspicious that he's actually switching jobs that often because he's being politely asked to resign, or he's just getting fired. This is no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 12:03 PM
8

Well put! 😂😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:33 AM
13

Is that seriously a wad of dried up chewing gum stuck under the visor of his hat? Can anyone tell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:49 PM
9

This. A disturbing number of them seem to be looking for a walking, talking toy that makes them feel special. It's easy to pick these men out when you see them interact a kid. The don't treat the child like a human with fears and feelings; they treat the child like he/she is just a toy to be manipulated for their own entertainment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:14 PM
286

Thanks to this photo, I'm adding "must have a neck" to my list of requirements for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 05:04 PM
9

I'm in my 40s and want you to know that a man's age is not necessarily indicative of his emotional maturity. The most emotionally immature man I've ever dated was in his 40s, and most emotionally mature one was only 24 when we got together (ah, the benefit of hindsight - he was definitely a HVM, too). Men don't necessarily become less emotionally mature as they age, by they DO get better at hiding behaviors the would give them away. They know how they're supposed to act, so they can put up a fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 10:51 PM
369

This pretty much captures the dynamic of my last relationship. He said I wasn't happy with him. I provided hours of free therapy for him every week and he couldn't even get me some damn flowers on my birthday. The flowers would cost $20/year, while the therapy would've run maybe $600/week. Ah, the irony...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:29 AM
13

I totally get this. Have an ex who is in recovery, which is great, but he still has a lot of baggage and messed up behaviors to work out. Largely because of this, he was a rotten partner and I don't want to risk repeating this mistake. Being with him really damaged my well-being. I know addiction is a beast and have a lot of respect for people who are doing the work to sober up. It's just a risk I personally can't take again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:12 PM
21

Unit staff are probably pretty irked too, since he also endangered other patients and staff by showing up (even though he KNEW he'd been exposed). What a selfish idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:27 PM
23

Is he taking these photos in his grandma's living room? I see floral prints in the background (curtains, I think, and a cushion) that don't look like something a single guy on his own would choose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 03:53 PM
5

Agree, all three of them do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 03:42 PM
24

The habit that led to him having skidmarks on his boxers. Those skidmarks then transferred to my white sheets. I don't know what exactly the habit was, but yeah, that was bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 08:15 PM
42

Good point. Maybe he's just trying to get home! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:35 AM
25

Yes, THIS. Musk then went on to say that "ventilators cannot be produced instantly ", which is of course true, but also demonstrates his ignorance of the situation. It's very probable more ventilators will be needed, and if he was going to do anything useful, he should've started doing it a while ago. He's just bragging himself up and doesn't give a rip about saving lives. He isn't gonna do anything unless it'll rake in money and make him look like a hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:31 AM
6

Love this! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 03:29 AM
18

What a rotten human being. That poor, poor woman. I initially wondered why he wouldn't just divorce her, but then realized that he might owe her alimony, and he probably knows that. Also, who knows, maybe she's doing his emotional labor. Like her, I have a crummy progressive health issue and during a disabling flare up, my then-boyfriend was still whining to me about his job. He didn't seem to care that I might never walk again (don't worry, I did and can); he just wanted me to be his therapist …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:59 PM
111

And he wanted you to take his car for service too?!? Even if that was a joke, it's still pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 11:52 PM
139

WTF is that THING in the middle of the bottom row???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:30 PM
60

He's kidding, right? He's an actual land whale.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 06:15 PM
3

Your boyfriend is being a selfish, childish ass. A good adult man would actually think about possible the consequences of these choices, and care if he makes others ill. Then he'd alter his plans to make sure that doesn't happen. Honestly, I was surprised to read that your boyfriend is 34 years old. This is the kind of behavior I'd expect from a man 10 years younger. Sounds like he only cares about others when it's convenient for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 02:05 PM
16

THIS. Flabby ass = disappointing sex, IME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:56 PM
140

I think that if you don't want them, that's totally fine and you shouldn't have to justify your reasons to anyone (really, it's none of their business). Your life, your choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 09:05 PM
15

Oh cool, that would be really interesting! Honestly, I think attitudes like this are endemic in tech careers in general, and the severity of the issue will vary. Give a man admin access and there's a good chance he'll begin strutting around like he's king of the world. In my experience, super obvious behavior like what this kid did is rare. The behaviors that wear me down are the more subtle ones that happen every day. Some of them aren't even sexist, but altogether these behaviors make it a fru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:44 AM
83

And there's another man baby in tech. He thinks he knows All The Things because he can string together some subpar code or whatever the fuck it is he does. He's probably been surrounded by a bunch of similarly-minded jackoffs throughout his short career, and clearly thinks his Opinions On Everything matter because he's suuuuuuch hot shit. The reality is that he's a condescending sexist choade who's no more than a big fish in a small pond. He's nothing special and easily replaceable. I work in a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:59 PM
7

That's really annoying, especially considering the value of the labor for a job like that. Helping out with a little two minute task is one thing, but this??? Nah..... If this ever happens again, send the guy an estimate of your fees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 09:23 PM
20

Was Joe as helpless as he sounds? When my water heater began its slow death, I replaced it. By "replaced", I mean that I reviewed all applicable codes and did all plumbing and electrical with my own two hands. Seriously, Joe, just Google that shit and fix it. Don't whine at women you barely know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 08:33 PM
20

Also, how about the financial aspect of being with a man who neglects his health? (For FDSers not from the US, healthcare here can be incredibly expensive, and medical/dental debt can literally ruin a person's life.) For example, one of my idiot exes skipped dental cleanings for a long time and didn't brush or floss regularly. His dental insurance covered cleanings at 100%, so those would've cost him nothing. Due to this compete self-neglect, however, he needed multiple expensive procedures that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 08:30 PM
74

Are you me?!? Because seriously, I was thinking that too yesterday - I've made a bad habit of compromising my basic needs and wants for every man I've ever been with, and none of them were worth it. I think I was compromising my needs and wants because I knew on some level that if I didn't, those relationships wouldn't work out. Well, newsflash: they didn't work out anyway. Going forward, I'm done letting relationships erode my quality of life. If that means I die alone, so be it. At least I'll …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:12 PM
109

...And this is why I have ALWAYS been happiest when I'm single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 02:44 PM
6

I really hope you decided to let him care for you. This is a great opportunity to see how he reacts when you aren't cute and healthy and perfect. Does he actively look for ways to care for you and actually do them, or does he just say "let me know if you need anything" and then sit on his ass glued to his phone? Look, life can be really rough sometimes - people get terrible injuries, they get cancer, or develop awful chronic diseases. You need a man who can prove he isn't gonna fold like wet car…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 02:37 PM
20

Saying he "doesn't mind talking about" marriage can in certain contexts be a red flag. Why? Because it's something a man might say when a woman keep bringing up a topic he isn't interested in, but doesn't want to offend her by saying so. It's a safe, lukewarm comment that makes it easy to string her along for years. One of my exes said the EXACT SAME THING every time I brought up marriage. Specifically, after I brought it up and then commented that he didn't seem interested in getting married. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 11:19 PM
2

I don't know if this is possible, but if so, that arrangement could potentially work against the woman. So let's say your husband cheats but for whatever reason you don't want to stay in the house. In that case you've pretty much shot yourself in the foot, because you've already agreed in a legal document to keep paying on the mortgage for a place you don't occupy, while he continues living there (and moves his new girlfriend in).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:20 AM
35

I'd put it back in the envelope, leave it on top of his new nightstand and casually mention "Hey hon, you left an envelope in the drawer so I put them on your nightstand". And then watch how he reacts. If it's really an engagement ring, though, I think he'd be a little more careful about remembering where he stashed it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:15 PM
40

It's a choice. They're either choosing to be lazy or helpless, or they just don't care enough to bother (which is still, in the end, a choice). I know a man who can organize a month-long trip (for only himself, of course) to a destination 2500 miles from his home, and yet he "can't" plan a simple evening out in his own city. He has the ability to make complex plans but chooses not to exercise that skill with the women he dates. Regarding the guy you're talking about, I suspect it's easier to tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:05 PM
11

It's just an act. Now that the pressure of trying to fix things is gone, he misses you. Maybe he's even realizing that he'll never do better than you, so now he's on his best behavior. Or maybe he saw a therapist and got some amazing meds. Who knows. What really matters is the fact that he's your ex for a bunch of good reasons. Make a list of those reasons and read it every day, if you have to. I know from personal experience that divorce sucks, but it's also an amazing chance to remake your lif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:00 AM
3

So THAT'S what uncooked tofu reminds me of. I knew it felt familiar! 😆😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:42 PM
81

"Speaks sarcasm" is just code for "I'm an asshole but will tell you I'm just kidding if you're offended".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:03 AM
15

That is utterly horrifying. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:09 AM
14

Wow, this would be a deal breaker for me. It's sad how she's trying to avoid starting an argument when one would be totally justified. Hopefully she comes to her senses and stops screwing herself over by throwing money at this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 03:35 PM
6

Really needed to hear this today and am saving this post for whenever I need a reality check. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 08:09 PM
118

I'm glad she's so happy, but.... This feels so low effort. After nearly a decade, THAT'S the best he can do? For Pete's sake, he's had actual years to least figure out her ring size and find a ring that fits. My heart hurts for this lovely woman. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 02:39 AM
77

Agree. Yet another example of how porn can acclimate men to be aroused by a women's pain. I'm having a hard time imagining how he'd even think of this if he hadn't seen it in porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:53 PM
10

Agree with your comment about possible apathy. The fact that he said this makes me think he wasn't seriously planning anything. If he had been, it probably would've been odd for him to discard his plans and let her do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 06:03 PM
8

Where'd she find a 43 year old man who could keep it up long enough to actually have sex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:06 AM
11

"You mad? I'm not TRYING to be difficult." Seriously, what the hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:57 AM
108

Ouch. That's a bizarro, utterly bullshit theory on how love works. I'm sorry, but if he doesn't love you after two years, he never will. He's an ass who thinks he can string you along indefinitely while dangling his "love" in front of you like a carrot. His doesn't deserve you and you can do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 01:11 AM
23

Some attorneys offer free initial consults. You might want to run this by one. Did you formally agree to pay him for his services back before he helped with the house? As far as the crap he left in your shop goes, he legally have been considered your renter, so there may be a specific process you to need to follow before throwing his shit out. Again, though, this is something you'd want to discuss with an attorney. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 09:05 PM
20

Poor naive kid. He's using her as a bangmaid and she's drunk ALL the KoolAid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:04 PM
6

Truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 04:12 AM
22

Laziness and selfishness. It's pretty much that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:01 PM
11

Amen. I'd update you a million times for this comment if I could. Like you, I go to a therapist when I need to instead of expecting someone else to magically fix me. I'm beyond sick of men who dump their emotional overflow on me repeatedly and never make an actual effort to find a therapist and work on fixing the problem. It's a huge turnoff for me. Taking responsibility for one's mental health is admirable; continually whining like a bratty child is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 09:50 PM
12

Where's the pair with the skid marks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 09:23 PM
5

Completely agree. I'm sorry you're going through this. Hormonal contraception is awful. Ladies, if you're looking for a hormone-free option that isn't a condom, might I suggest a diaphragm? Doctors don't even suggest them as options any more, and they really should. I switched to one years ago and love it. If you're interested in getting one, definitely go to a gynecologist. You'll need to be fitted for it, and I wouldn't trust the average family practice provider to get that right. Some more in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 10:19 PM
16

WOW. He sounds like an idiot. Glad he's your ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:16 PM
5

Is he taking an SSRI (a class of medication prescribed for depression and/or anxiety)? Asking because those can also cause ED. It's odd that he's having issues so young, so if he's not on an SSRI, yeah, maybe it is porn. A man who's having ED issues may prefer missionary because then it's easier for him to hammer away, which helps him keep an erection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:13 PM
12

Agree, those pecs don't go with that arm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:29 AM
5

Right?!? To be clear, I'm not trying to make light of his condition either. Rather, I was awkwardly alluding to the fact that, when one has a chronic disease, sometimes one has to redefine what "success" looks like. So while working in a pizza shop may not seem very impressive to us, for him it may be a major milestone in his recovery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:20 AM
13

Thank you for saying this. As someone who has an evil autoimmune disease, I can confirm that some of us are just a flare up away from disability, and we can't always bootstrap our way out of it. Sure, maybe this guy is a lazy, LVM who also happens to have a disabling chronic disease. However, it's also possible that working at a pizza shop - and perhaps not literally crapping his pants during the workday - is a major achievement for him. And if it is, good for him. His medical stuff aside, that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 06:07 PM
18

It's so freaking sad that this even needs to be said. Washing one's hands the bathroom is just as necessary as wiping one's.... oh, wait. Some of them don't do that, either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:08 AM
28

He wants you to "step out of your comfort zone" and to be pushed "to your limits". At best it sounds like he wants anal. I can't even contemplate the worst case scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 08:07 PM
8

Congratulations, you've found a Peter Pan; an eternal boy who doesn't want to grow up. This kind of guy might seem fun for a while, but eventually you'll feel like his mother because he's never had to live as an completely independent adult. Oh, and he's not buying a house any time soon . He's probably been telling women that for years because it sounds good. I know a guy who is somewhat similar to this one - also in his early 30s, has been living with his mama continuously since getting out of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 01:09 AM
1

I think that would depend on how that individual and how they're handling their recovery. Fellow FDSers, please feel free to comment. I'll speak from my own experience, having been in a long-term relationship with an alcoholic. One thing to keep in mind is that, with alcoholism, recovery consists not only of achieving sobriety, but working through the stuff that leads to the drinking, and addressing the messed up behaviors that enable the addiction (the lying, the manipulating, etc). So someone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:32 PM
5

He's a recovering alcoholic and is mentioning the DUI to ease you into a conversation about that. Don't ask me how I know this.... 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 06:10 PM
4

"When we first met, it was never this bad." So his balls have always stunk, but apparently to a less offensive degree. She married Mr Stinkyballs knowing his balls reeked. Just....Why? WHY?????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:08 PM
11

Depends. I have a chronic, progressive disease that has and can affect a relationship. I think it really depends on how that person is dealing with it. If they're making a genuine effort to cope with the chronic illness and thrive despite that (and we were, of course, compatible), sure. I'd date them. For example, if I had to choose between dating a man who's perhaps disabled due to his chronic disease but making every effort to be healthy and happy, and a man who's disease-free but a giant baby…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:31 PM
19

Also, if you are in the US, you may be able to check court records for your state online, for free. Just Google "<statename> court records" and choose the hit with a .gov domain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:17 PM
6

And that's the most disturbing part of this mess. He's making no effort to provide in some way for his own child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 05:57 PM
8

I checked your post history. Your boyfriend has been doing all kinds of things that any sane woman would question, and many would not tolerate. There are red flags EVERYWHERE. My take on this: I'm sorry, I think he's cheating on you and has been for a while. Even if you get access to his phone and don't find anything obviously incriminating, I wouldn't trust that. Some experienced cheaters are pretty smart about covering their tracks and deleting text conversations, etc. He may even have a secon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:52 PM
2

This is so, so true! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 05:52 AM
11

I think you're spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:28 PM
30

Guy might be like my soon-to-be ex who, despite outwardly appearing to be a "nice guy", is an incredibly toxic emotional vampire. Nothing is ever his fault and he willfully refuses to see how his bad choices and behavior affect his loved ones. He's the worst man I've ever been with, including the emotionally abusive ex who cheated on me. I'm sure that his friends and acquaintances think he's a good guy, though. PSA: Ladies, don't put up with crap like this. If a relationship makes you feel unhea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 04:30 PM
26

Speaking as a middle-aged woman, I'd never do it again. If you're in the mood to train another creature, get a dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 12:27 PM
11

A reminder that Facebook isn't reality. I've never seen someone post a selfie where she's ugly-crying because her husband is cheating. Also, this shitweasel of a man disrespected you for 6 months. Now that you know who he really is, don't give him any more of your life by lurking on Facebook. Instead, try using that time to do something that makes you genuinely happy. His wife will probably find out on her own, because the average cheater does a crap job of covering their tracks. In case you nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 05:18 AM
23

He said "I need to be told to do things". "Things", by the way, meant EVERYTHING, even basic adulting. Definitely learned a lesson there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:11 PM
10

Oh, I think the typo works too. Because these same guys are usually aces at self-delusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:05 PM
87

He probably trusts his gut regarding his STI status, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:44 PM
73

I have to wonder if maybe it's just less common to find a successful hetero relationship where the woman is the disabled one? There was a study done around 10 years ago that found divorce risk was higher when the wife was sick. Now, I know cancer and disability are not the same thing. However, there are some commonalities in how they can affect a relationship: the un-disabled partner may need to act as caregiver, stress levels can increase significantly, and coping skills may be severely challen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 04:53 AM
21

If he wanted to lose weight, he probably would've done that by now. By dating him at his current size, you're basically telling him that you're fine with his extra weight and attracted to him despite that. If you aren't, don't date him. Don't fall into the trap of dating this man for his potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 04:49 PM
11

Username: Giantmanchild Hi, I'm an active 40-something man who will string you along for years with my vague references to the future and ability to deflect and change the subject. You'll never notice I'm just hanging in there because I'm too lazy to break up. We'll enjoy long weekends at your place, where I can watch your cable TV and sleep in a real bed like an adult. I might leave mysterious dirty smudges your sheets, but that's just because I'm a man and real men sweat, right? Also, I look f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 12:55 AM
9

This might be very therapeutic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:22 PM
71

Because if a woman is single, it means she hasn't been "picked" and nobody wants her. And if nobody wants her, there must something really wrong with her. <sarcastic eyeroll>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:59 PM
32

Not an asshole and I completely agree. Back in my Pick Me days, there were vacations I put off taking for actual years, because I didn't want to leave behind whatever guy I was with. Those men either didn't have the money to travel, or didn't get enough vacation time at work but refused to change jobs, or just plain had no sense of adventure and refused to plan a trip with me. I regret missing opportunities because of these clowns and am never making that mistake again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:46 PM
21

I have a theory about men who like that position (the one where the woman squats and bounces up and down): I think they've ruined their penises with a Death Grip, or have ED, and can now only orgasm by basically replicating the manner in which they jerk off. They're just using the vagina to masturbate because they can no longer respond to other sensations or positions. I base this theory on my experiences, unfortunately...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 04:45 PM
37

The following list exists because I've dated men who seriously do not do these things: Wash your hands after using the restroom. With soap. And actually lather them up for a couple seconds before rinsing. Don't take a piss and then go handle food with the hands that just touched your junk. That's beyond nasty. Brush your teeth, twice a day. And for Pete's sake, grow up and floss them. No one wants to kiss someone whose breath reeks of garlic, fish, junk food, or dental decay. Shave off the neck …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 02:59 PM
6

"Lord Maximus".... Oh my god, he's serious, isn't he. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 02:48 AM
23

A-fucking-men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 01:24 PM
21

Well, now he's shown you who he really is: an incredibly immature, selfish liar. Also, the "not over the damage his ex did" excuse he gave - and all the other excuses - are crap. He's a 35 year old man. Now, if he were trying to be a decent, functional 35 year old man, he could've hauled his damaged self into therapy post breakup, and tried to better understand himself. But I'm guessing he didn't, because he's been busting his tail lying and trying to manipulate you. He's 35 YEARS OLD, ffs. Sham…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 01:20 PM
57

I'm gonna hypothesize that 35 year old Paul (upper left) has hit the Wall and is bitter because every woman he meets is having a better life than him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 11:30 PM
4

They still live with their parents rent-free. Seriously, have met guys like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:35 AM
10

So let me tell a story: When I was young, I also wanted a career in the arts. However, at 23, I realized that I needed a backup plan so I purposely sought out a day job in a field where I'd have stable employment and opportunities for advancement. This turned out to be a smart move, as an arts career would've ultimately been cut short by health issues. I'm surprised those your boyfriend is 30 years old and is only now seems to be working on a backup plan (insurance license). It's good that he's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:08 PM
8

This, this, this so much. Fellow high libido woman here, can confirm this is exactly what will happen. And it'll only get worse if you stay with a man like this long-term (been there, done that). It's totally okay for you to consider this an incompatibility and end things because of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 11:17 PM
21

I'm gonna guess he's one of the few Kiss fans who likes the Dynasty album, and his theme song is "I Was Made For Lovin' You". His wrinkles are obvious even through that heavy makeup. Also, I suspect the Earth Goddess wishes he'd stop creeping on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 12:57 PM
105

Love bombing. Also, he used "your" instead of "you're" something like six times. This clown is so desperate to get laid that he doesn't care how stupid he looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:36 PM
3

Honestly, the only men I've known who were comfortable accepting money from their parents for major purchases were either really immature, or lacking in ambition. I've dated men like this and found them to be unreliable guys, the kind who'd wilt the minute life got tough. I would not marry or buy house with one of those men. I'm not saying your boyfriend is like that, though; this is just my own experience. Conversely, I've also observed that men who are mature and ambitious want the pride that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 02:11 AM
17

Girl, do not text this man. Do not, do not, do not. If he's really interested, if he's a good man who lives like an actual adult, he will contact you. He will make specific plans to see you again. Let me tell you a story: A couple years ago, I met a seemingly decent man at work. We chatted on and off, and eventually he said, "we should hang out some time". And then for two weeks, he just kept chatting on and off. Didn't ask me out. I finally reminded him of what he'd said and suggested a date/ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 12:26 AM
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