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DevinB12 Archive

View 11 posts and 80 comments by DevinB12 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
25

DevinB12/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:37 PM
18

Dealing with the Ex / STBXDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:36 AM
13

DevinB12/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:06 PM
11

Dealing with the Ex / STBXDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 03:40 PM
9

CustodyDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 04:33 PM
8

DevinB12/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 04:08 PM
7

CustodyDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 09:34 PM
6

CourtDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 09:24 PM
5

DevinB12/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:50 AM
5

Dating After DivorceDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:03 PM
4

LawyersDevinB12/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 11:19 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

In the discussion I said I keep them because of my kids we have. She said she didn’t want her old pics popping up around a new partner…she had some happy times but more troubled than I did, no kids, so I understand.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 06:11 PM
4

55m, split up 18 months ago or so, I’ve actually had more luck finding a new GF in the wild vs using an app. I’ve met several ladies out in the wild and they all were much better options than the apps. The one that stole my heart, 43f, I met on a plane to Florida… she sat next to me and we hit it off immediately. That was 6 weeks ago and as of last weekend, we are exclusive to each other. She’s amazing, married once, no kids and loves that I have two older kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:31 PM
8

Thank you, I think I just needed to hear it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:17 AM
3

Several months for me before dating. I wasn’t in a good place for a while and even though my divorce has been final for a month and our separation was over a year ago, I’m still struggling to want to commit to much if anything.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 12:37 PM
7

If you have kids, when talking about the kids, I always refer to her as "his mom" like, he's going to his moms that weekend. I think it shows respect to her better than calling her "ex" or whatever. I also agree, don't talk about her, focus on the date and listen. Don't overshare but be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 01:26 PM
1

You are right until you consider I didn’t have to go through discovery on my 401k and give up probable $100k out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 05:27 PM
2

Absolutely...especially if you have 50/50 joint custody... in TX the mediator said that isn't a judge that would change that since we had been doing it for 10 months and it was a good situation. I do feel like the mediator made her understand that she wasn't going to win those arguments.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:23 PM
1

So very similar situation...went back and forth for months without coming to an agreement. She filed originally, was wanting executive rights to make all decisions for my son after "meaningful conversations" with me... yeah right... and she didn't want residence to be restricted to one county or school district...that way, when she can get a better job, she can move away and take him with me. all of this with custody being 50/50. We went back and forth for 5 months and didn't make any progress. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 07:21 PM
2

I totally agree. I had to stand firm but in the end it came out like I wanted. Today was a new day and a new outlook.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 02:18 AM
2

$1200, but yes one child.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 06:33 PM
1

Mine has me covering insurance and then we split co pays 50/50... I have 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 07:58 PM
2

I'm going into mediation Friday... what we have agreed on was 50/50 custody and that we both have to agree to almost all other things, even though she is primary, I wanted to make sure I'm involved in decisions and she agreed to it. what we didn't agree to is the geographic restriction... I want her restricted to our county, she wants to expand it to 4-5 counties surrounding our county... she would also want to move our son to the school she works at if she moves to one of those counties. We bot…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:34 PM
4

Yep! This is me too. King when married, went to a queen size in apartment and it is plenty big even with a guest.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 01:29 PM
1

I've not been invited to any holiday festivities yet, and I don't expect I will be. Thanksgiving my son and I will be at my brothers house in Atlanta...Christmas is where it will get lonely... I have no family here, all of her family is here, so I'll be alone for Christmas...working every day but Christmas which is good and will keep me busy. Our divorce isn't final but hoping it will be by first week of December.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 04:51 PM
9

Funny you bring up John Griffin, Life 2.0…. I have been watching him since May and I attribute a lot of my recovery to him and his videos! Glad they help us all! One thing I’ve learned… Stay healthy and if possible, Stay Single!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 05:46 PM
5

Any books or video you recommend that helped you along your journey?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 05:30 PM
3

I had the same issues... Married 14 years, together almost 17, sex was always great, even till the end. Hell, we even had one last time and I struggled with ED during that session and it made me feel really bad. Then I meet this beautiful lady and the passion between us was so high, second date she had me in her tahoe in the back on top of me and I couldn't keep it up. Week later, at her house, and two more times after, I couldn't keep it up... She was very frustrated and that just added to my m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 01:38 PM
1

Our 14th anniversary is Thursday and I’m trying to avoid thinking about it. Just ready to be past it and I’m sure it won’t cross her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 10:37 PM
2

This is so true. I messed up 11 years ago, she “forgave” me but things changed. We are now going through a divorce and it all comes from that time. Things just changed in a way that would never go back unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 05:39 PM
1

So you said "Did I fuck up? You bet." but then said you looked back for where exactly you fucked up and didn't find anything... What am I missing?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 02:59 PM
2

I’m in Tarrant too, I’m using Justin Sisemore and Associates… so far very pleased…a bit pricey but they don’t mess around!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:41 AM
3

The quiet is hard for me. The first night was horrible, I cried all night I think.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 04:14 AM
2

What do you do in your free time?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 11:34 PM
1

Fort Worth here…just sent you a DM.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 04:43 AM
1

Yeah, I know... I think I'm there and ready to stop... just hard because I carried the load for so long...made it easy on her to not worry about things being done and it is hard to turn that off. I think once we are done with the house it will be better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:39 PM
11

I’m 3 months in… closing on the sale of our house next week. Sat in an airport in Atlanta on Fathers Day crying and reading on this sub. Anxiety comes and goes and it has gotten better but I’m still sad. I miss her… it wasn’t long ago she said I was the best husband and father she could have wished for. Not sure I’ll be over her or ever stop loving her. Even now I try to help her and make sure she is ready for things. I can’t just say “F off” to her… OP it does get better but is a big struggle!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 06:34 PM
3

Yes…he’s been a big help to me too
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 02:03 AM
1

Following!
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 05:37 AM
1

I make approximately $165k and she is at $155k. I'm 54 and she is 48.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:56 PM
1

so when you say Student Loan is personal debt, that would need to follow her and not ding me?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 09:58 PM
2

I'm on it unfortunately... all personal debts will be paid off and we walk away with $60k each. one thing she also mentions is that I have a company car, I get taxed on it but otherwise gas and car are paid for. We have her car as a lease...not sure how to handle that part of the settlement. I am going to be paying insurance for both kids from here on. and we both make within about $10k of each other, so very similar salaries.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 09:42 PM
2

yes, both of our 401k's were started prior to us marrying... if I didn't need the money to make a down payment I would pay out of the money i'm getting for the house sale but I'm planning to up my contribution to my 401k to the max amount after we split.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 09:31 PM
1

I’m hoping for the same… I just want it to be fair for both of us!
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 04:49 AM
3

Very good tip! Especially the peace part…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:40 AM
1

unfortunately that isn't the case. One parent is named as the primary which means the final decision on changes is theirs to make. They consult with the other parent but at the end of the day, that primary has the power to make the official changes. Anything that isn't lined out in the divorce decree they can decide on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:05 PM
3

It’s tough man but will get better. I’m 2.5 months in and thought my world was ending… it has been hard but I’ve gotten to this point… you can do it too!
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:46 AM
1

Yes,she is the primary but we split custody equally.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 04:01 AM
2

I don’t believe you have to pay alimony in Texas
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:07 PM
8

Man, reading that is so much like what I wrote on here 2 1/2 months ago. The feeling of being alone and nobody being there for you. Having to go to work and keep the kids going. I feel for you brother. I can tell you it took about 6 weeks for me to accept it. I told her I would not lose hope that we could stay together until she signed the last document. I still have that hope but everything she has done and said, the way she treats me, the cold indifference, just still strikes me to my core. Af…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:24 AM
3

Good luck man! you got this!!
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:11 PM
1

That is what I thought too. Just hoping for the best... I don't mind carrying my part but I do not want to fund her play time either.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 07:06 PM
1

Great reading all of this. I'll be going through this situation soon. We have agreed on 50/50 with her being the primary. She recently changed jobs and her salary now equals mine... within a few thousand dollars/year. How do you handle child support when this is the case? I'm still carrying both son and daughter on my insurance so she doesn't have to...
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 07:03 PM
3

I read an article that said one of the steps to healing is to write yourself a letter to be opened and read 5 years down the road. Things you were thinking going forward, goals you have and where you want to be. We are stronger than we think when this begins and I know I'm going to heal and be ok...it will just take time!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 02:39 PM
1

Living in an apartment so normal apartment headaches that I haven't dealt with in 30+ years but otherwise I really like my place. The complex is really nice and new as of 11/2023 and my apartment was the last one that hadn't been rented so it's literally brand new and feels totally like a new place. It's coming together but other than a TV and sofa and some of the things I brought from the house I don't have it fully furnished or decorated...My son LOVES it and we are splitting 50/50 custody so …
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 01:25 PM
1

Yes we are selling… my moving was step one… getting my stuff out. Step two is a big garage sale this coming weekend . Step three is next Monday… realtor is coming to photograph the house and then list it shortly after.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 11:29 AM
2

That's what we are doing... I moved out last weekend, we've been selling stuff and moving our personal stuff, me to my apartment and storage and hers to a storage until she's ready for it. Yeah...It sucks and it's very difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:21 PM
10

Sounds like my story too... the indifference and cold shoulder that I've gotten since she said she wanted a divorce is crazy. Drives me nuts because it is so different from what our life was even 4-5 months ago (been going on since March 13). I feel for you and it sucks... Last night was my first night in my apartment where I spent it all alone... it was hard, I didn't sleep and I just couldn't wait for it to be over. I'm hoping that gets easier sooner than later.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 07:34 PM
7

Yeah it is tough… my wife told me March 13, and it’s been a whirlwind since then. After finally accepting that we weren’t going to get through this, I accepted it and now just trying to move forward, day by day. Telling kids was the hardest part but my 13 yo son has been my saving grace. He is amazing and more mature than his years. We moved this weekend into an apartment and he loves it. She went to the lake with some friends… we have settled everything so I felt safe moving…house is going on t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 02:46 AM
2

Yes, very fast. And the sad part is that she is so indifferent and cold towards me… I look back at what was so perfect for so long to now and it is hard to wrap my mind around.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 11:41 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 02:00 AM
5

March 13th was the day my wife told me... I was at 218 lbs at that point... 202 as of yesterday. No appetite...stopped drinking alcohol and stopped using other items like coffee creamer. Black coffee has been my go to...that and a lot of water. I had been wanting to lose weight but didn't plan on this being the cause or the way to do it. Haven't started working out yet but that is the next step... Moving out of our family house tomorrow so this weekend will be tough. All I can say is that it doe…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 01:33 PM
2

Texas for me
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:27 AM
3

I'm struggling along these same lines... STBXW and I together for 15 years, married 13... all of our friends for the most part are couple friends that lean her way... My son, 13 yo, and step daughter 19 yo are the highlights now...trying to stay active and find new friends.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 02:45 PM
8

M54 and just beginning this journey. I like your topic and can't wait to see what others respond with. I too need self reflection and figure out myself and what makes me tick, what makes me happy. Failing at a 15 year relationship is devastating to me and starting over, alone, makes it even more difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 03:32 PM
2

oh yeah, if she got 57/43 like she wanted, my child support would/could be like $1800/mo. along with me covering insurance. I have no problem paying child support but my deal is time with my son. He wants to see us both equally and that's where it needs to go.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 01:53 PM
1

Agreed between the two of us…why do you ask?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:46 AM
4

Man I’m so sorry for you and the loss you are feeling. I’ve been going through a lot of the same, my story is posted here too. Guys on here are super helpful and supportive and have been a lifeline for me. Continue to push forward, it will get better but it will take time!
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 11:55 AM
3

we are going through this too and trying to figure our way through. One thing that pisses me off is that she went back to school and got her doctorate while we were married, we are still paying the student loan for that yet she wants to go after part of my retirement because she took off work for 2 years while she was in school. I don't get any of the benefit of the doctorate going forward but she will and she is 7 years younger than me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 06:33 PM
2

how are you progressing now? i just hit the one month period of when she told me she wanted a divorce... been a struggle so far!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:46 PM
2

Thank you, I appreciate it. We are having a sit down tonight to discuss everything so I’ll know more after that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 10:48 AM
7

Stay strong and keep us informed. This sub has been great for me!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 11:53 PM
2

For Texas, how do you calculate CS?
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:00 PM
5

I get you man! My story reads a whole lot like yours. It is the hardest thing to go through. Love your kids and work on you. If it is meant to be it will come back. This community has been great too Btw.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 01:17 PM
4

While not 25, our love story goes 15 1/2 years, married for 13 1/2, and I have a 19 yo step daughter and 13 (today) yo son that I’m crazy about. It hits me in waves and I hate where it has gone because she has been my best friend, lover, wife, partner, anything and everything…we did together. My realization hit about 10 days ago that no matter how much I want to fix it and continue, she doesn’t… it is over and now the long process of separating our lives… Good luck man… I’ve gotten a lot of supp…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:11 AM
5

How did you meet your new woman and did it ever feel to soon to get back in to a relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 12:32 PM
2

I’m interested in this too. My daughter is 19 and away at college and my son is 13… we’ve told them (3 weeks ago) and I’m moving out in about 3 weeks… worry about him a lot!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 12:30 AM
2

Thank you. No I have not dated. I keep hoping for a reconciliation and as I told her, I’ll not lose hope until she signs and the ink is dry. At this point, even the thought of getting back out there and just sitting across from another lady just doesn’t seem right. I’m not emotionally available right now and it would not be fair to that person either.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 01:46 PM
5

I’m hoping to get there soon. Almost 4 weeks since she dropped the bomb on me that she wanted a divorce. Thursday night we were eating dinner with our son and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her. I still feel like she is the most beautiful and sexy and her curves are so what I loved but I’m trying to get past that. I know I would go back to her if she would have me but I do feel like, step by step, my feelings are changing. Stay strong brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 09:10 AM
10

So I have to agree and wish I had good advice 15 years ago. I’m in the beginning stages of a divorce, this is our second marriage for both, she has a daughter from first marriage that is 19 and I look on her as my own. We also have a 13 yo son together and he is my everything! Now I’m trying to figure my way forward…do I rent an apartment and go that route or try and buy a smaller home and try to build equity… I’m 54 and the home buying just doesn’t seem like a good option anymore. I’m a bit los…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 02:55 AM
4

I told her the exact same thing already and that is where we left it. I have no interest in signing that unless I’m the primary.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 09:49 PM
2

same...slept very little and been reading Reddit divorce stuff for 3+ hours at work...
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 04:23 PM
3

I'm going through the same thing brother. My wife over the last month/6 weeks has slowly been pushing away. We've had some issues in the past but everything had been great. Even the sex had been otherworldly, always great but had been better lately. Then she broke down and told me she was needing to find herself, she had been depressed and couldn't do it anymore. She felt like our relationship wasn't trustworthy anymore...you can read more of my post if you want, it's on here from the other day.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 04:09 PM
1

Does that go for the lawyer and the other attorney in his firm? I’m assuming it would.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 12:51 PM
1

I live in Fort Worth, looks like we will be headed for divorce. 1 child, will be 13 in April, I make approximately $170k/year, she makes approximately $125k/year… any thoughts on what child support may look like? We both have retirements and really the house is our one big asset.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:04 AM
3

I also do not want to turn to alcohol to cope.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 03:21 PM
4

Thank you! I attended my first AA meeting this morning if for no other reason than to find other folks for support. Our friends are couple friends and while she is very close to the women, and the men love her, they are only acquaintances for me and will not be there for support.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 03:21 PM
3

So we met up and she wanted to discuss telling the kids and me moving upstairs. We ended up agreeing and told them last night and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 01:43 PM
11

She sent me a text about 1 hour ago asking if I want to meet after work somewhere away from the kids... my head is spinning over what is coming during that conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:55 PM
0

I'm interested in this too... I'm headed down this path as well, son will be 13 in less than a month...she makes $128k/year, I make $165k year...what could I expect for CS and how hard will it be to get 50/50 custody? if I do get 50/50, what does that do to CS?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:11 PM
3

Any advice on how to break all this to our kids? Breaks my heart to have to do this and see my sons face when he hears it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 04:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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