Divorce Advice

Moms_Sketti88 · 2025-04-20T23:42:56+00:00

$1000 CS for 50/50, and your pay isn’t extremely far apart. Is this agreed between you two, or the state mandated amount?

MR-Ozmidnight · 2025-04-16T09:01:30+00:00

Listen, it's time to clear your head of all this nonsense. If she wants out, that’s on her. You’ve given her an opportunity, and now she’s dealing with the reality of the situation. Don’t let it shake you; it’s common to see this kind of behaviour.

Stand firm and take charge of your life. It’s not your fault if you've done everything in your power to fix the relationship. I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" – it's worth your time.

Remember, her choice to stay in the house is hers alone. Don’t tie your name to anything she’s involved in. If she gets into trouble, you don’t want to be dragged down with her. This is her responsibility now, not yours, so steer clear of the chaos. I've seen too many people fall into debt because they trusted their partners too much. Keep your guard up and focus on yourself.

ronparsons · 2025-04-15T05:10:53+00:00

You're in a business transaction now. Act accordingly

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-04-15T04:33:39+00:00

Christ! Does everyone make that much money nowadays? Surely you can buy a new house with that kind of income.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-04-14T23:31:30+00:00

Sell everything and go your separate ways. If she can buy you out fine. If not that's her problem. She fired you as provider and protector, it's the new guy's job to do that now.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2025-04-14T23:19:27+00:00

You do need a good local divorce lawyer to protect you. The devil is in the details of all MSAs. Texas is one of the better states for a breadwinner getting a divorce.

With her income she is very unlikely to get alimony.

CS modifiable after the final degree so she can always go into and get an increase using the states guidelines regardless of your agreement now. Remember CS is non taxable to her and non deductible to you. Your exposure for CS is 20% of your net income. So you 50-50 custody is really something that you need careful review by a very experienced divorce lawyer.

At the end on the divorce your goal should be to no financial entanglements with her in either assets or debts. Failure to do this just creates the potential for future litigation costs and liabilities.

Tell her that divorces has consequences and unless she can get you your equity and the debt paid off, selling the house is one of them.

blahblahnookie · 2025-04-14T17:20:29+00:00

Make a clean cut man, doesn’t matter how amicable things are. All financial entanglements need to be sorted before divorce is finalized. You can be kind and firm, but do not give ground. I’m regretting the ground I did give just to get it over with…

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-04-14T16:43:46+00:00

Everything has been pretty amicable and we had agreed on everything

And

Now she comes back and said she wants to try and stay in the house... she had searched around trying to find a 3 BR house and apartment but everything is super expensive to rent for that size...more than our house payment.

Ok so I REALLY hope you have an attorney because what is happening is reality is setting in for her and when it comes to money and housing, if things sour the whole 'amicable' thing is going to go right out the window.

If she doesnt want to be married thats fine, but she can't have things both ways. Part of divorce is EVERYONES quality of life WILL go down. The people who ACCEPT that fact first are the ones who will do better long term because they have made peace with it and wont get dragged along kicking and screaming during the process.

Get a custody agreement filed ASAP at 50/50. Do not wait. She WILL do the math, or have someone in hear ear doing it, and suddenly you'll be hearing 60/40 or 70/30 so she nets more CS and spousal support.

If she wants to stay in the home its not on YOU to make it work. You need to think about you from 12-18mo from now because THAT GUY? He doesnt give a damn about her.

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2025-04-14T16:32:39+00:00

Understandably she wants to maintain her lifestyle just with you out of the picture (except to bank roll it of course) has anyone told you to do it ‘for the kids’ yet as that usually is enough to get a man to roll over and take it LOL! Of course you must do you but I suspect you could do with your £50k asap and to be debt free to restart your life especially since you’re about to be taking a £1k a month pay cut for the foreseeable.

0neMinute · 2025-04-14T16:23:05+00:00

Your trying to be nice, dont be you forget she is literally stabbing you in the gut. Not saying be mean but dont put off your share to suit her needs , she wouldn’t and wont do the same for you. Make sure everything is squashed by end of divorce agreement with your name on nothing.

no_user_selected · 2025-04-14T16:09:10+00:00

Is there anything else that you could trade off on? I am in a similar position where she wants the house, but wouldn't be able to afford buying me out, so I'm willing to trade my equity in the house for not having to pay alimony or getting equity in some of a private company I own (or payout on liquidation). Since we have 3 parcels of land, she could sell the 2 empty parcels to pay off the house, and be mortgage free, we don't have any other debt so she would be in a really good position. I still don't know if she's going to take it though.

CaptJaxParo · 2025-04-14T15:58:27+00:00

You're on the right track but beware of extending her equity debt to you. You want ALL obligations paid off or sorted out.

Some people can transfer mortgage some can't. She can agree to assume it with a 1% fee, but may get denied later, then you're stuck. Or she can promise to pay off debt later etc....then cant

The downside to divorce is yeah, you rent, like all.your $ and give up the cushy 2% mortgage.

Starting over in life. Hopefully her family can buy you out. Either way it sounds like it's not high conflict, police, threats, etc so you're gonna be fine

Reflog1791 · 2025-04-14T15:55:05+00:00

You gonna get steam rolled bro. I like that you’re not thinking with anger but you can’t just roll over either. This is a very common situation. You need to look out for number one. And there’s a strong likelihood Buster moves in before the ink is dry. Read the book no more Mr nice guy.

You don’t have to be a jerk about it but you can say No. That’s actually better for everyone in the long run.

Frankly I wouldn’t care if she stays in the house or not cuz it shouldn’t affect you. But I would get everything owed to you. I would do state calculated CS down to the penny for your own protection.

She can cash out refi the house. And yes it is her family who should carry the risk, not you.

Title	Divorce Advice
Author	DevinB12
Upvotes	11
Comments	22
Date	April 14, 2025 3:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jz1yn3/divorce_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-advice.1549579 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549579

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