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Feinixaway Archive

View 30 posts and 247 comments by Feinixaway on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
347

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW02/06/19 06:16 PM
199

Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:37 PM
194

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW26/06/19 04:52 PM
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Feinixaway/r/MGTOW21/09/19 01:02 AM
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Feinixaway/r/MGTOW21/06/20 08:42 PM
111

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW13/06/19 02:53 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 11:10 PM
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Feinixaway/r/MGTOW15/07/19 04:31 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 09:02 PM
51

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW15/06/19 03:39 AM
49

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW02/05/21 04:23 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:42 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 07:11 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 03:30 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:41 AM
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Feinixaway/r/MGTOW23/05/19 04:46 PM
19

Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 12:59 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 05:38 AM
14

Feinixaway/r/MGTOW18/07/19 10:52 PM
13

Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:49 AM
10

Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:27 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 03:38 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 05:38 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 09:24 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 08:47 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:37 AM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 05:53 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:04 PM
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Feinixaway/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 04:44 AM
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Feinixaway/r/MGTOW10/05/21 04:04 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

Congrats man, you know if the roles were reversed she wouldn’t show you an ounce of mercy. I got to keep the house. During COVID the price took a hit so I asked her to negotiate. She refused. She also took a good chunk of my 401k. I lost years of savings and potential growth. $7k is nothing but she did really learn the lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 03:09 AM
8

My gut feeling is just telling me to run away. In my case I didn't do what my gut was telling me. It cost me over $200k, years of my life lost forever and an unmeasurable amount of mental distress.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 04:35 PM
3

I think he was asking why are thinking about a "next one", not about a prenuptial agreement. Chances of divorce in second marriages are even higher.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:43 PM
20

I'm no longer interested in dating and sex. you have achieved Nirvana lol Keep doing what you're doing. Enjoy life, save, and enjoy time with your daughter. Take some time to build relationships with new people, and stay away from women.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 10:58 PM
10

Being alone isn't bad. There is no stigma. I was dating this girl and she wanted to meet my son after a year. I was super protective of him so I said I wasn't ready and I ended up things there. I go on dates, meet girls and have fun but I don't want my son to be involved in it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:19 AM
2

Apparently she's going to send me an offer. My response again will be that there is nothing to negotiate and give her a date to pay me back. I will also let the mediator know. The mediator has the power to issue fines and enforce her decisions with legal consequences. If she still doesn't pay there are other free resources that enforce payment of child support. They can even garnish her wages if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:27 PM
14

Literally everything was a hill worth dying on. That is exactly what I told someone when I was discussing this. She would fight to death for the smallest thing and never compromise. Can't see anyone's perspective but their own. Yes she's BPD and that's how her brain works
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:29 AM
7

The mediator isn't my lawyer. The mediator is the one that makes decisions (she was also hired as arbitrator). She was clear and told my ex that she had to pay. And she was also clear that there is no point on spending a large amount of money to argue about something small. There is nothing to fight. My ex is just throwing money delaying the inevitable. I'm not going to forgive one cent. If she doesn't have money she can always go on backpage for all I care. I'm not here to seek advice just to v…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:14 AM
4

Everyone is different. If it's been over a year and you have no children perhaps it's time. But it's up to you. Things have definitely changed. Everyone is more disposable now and they expect to act like teenagers forever. One image is worth a thousand words: https://www.riverdavesplace.com/forums/attachments/1632107965250-jpeg.1051248/
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:33 AM
6

Or is it always crazy in the head crazy in the bed? In my experience, yes. The second girl I was with after my divorce was very level headed. Sex was good but once a week and very vanilla. With the third sex was unreal. She would take my pants off as soon as I entered her house and have sex at least twice during our nights together. She would also tell me crazy stories about her life, text me all day long and ask if something was wrong if I didn't respond to her texts within 2 minutes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:22 AM
5

It's been 5 years for me. Everyone is different. I was under 40 so I was able to rebuild my life. The younger you are the better. I will never forgive being cheated on after I gave everything to be a good husband and a good father. Peace depends... what do you understand by peace? My ex has BPD so there will never be fully in peace until my son is 18. I'm not angry but I will never forgive. Will never forget. I don't invest my time and energy on responding to false accusations of child abuse or …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 10:50 PM
2

Do you think she would try to contact you? Ultimately you're trying to protect yourself, it sounds like she had done some bad damage. Unfortunately I share a kid with my ex but I told my family that they can either keep in touch with her or with me. I deleted all contacts from my ex's family. They tried to call me and I had to block them all. If I didn't have a kid I would move from my city and never ever come back. I moved here for her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 02:48 AM
1

The book "No more Mr nice guy" is a must for all of us here.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 08:59 PM
3

u/StraightPlum1 listen to this!! Your ex is already two steps ahead of you so you need to catch up. Get another lawyer if you need to. She has kidnapped your daughter. She was enrolled on a school without your consent. She might have forged your signature or lied that she had full custody (when I enrolled my kid they required both parents' signature). Your purpose hasn't changed, only they way you will do it. You will raise your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:37 PM
2

How old are your kids? How do you know she told them you had abandoned them?
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:30 PM
6

"Seemingly amicable" could turn 180 degrees in no time, specially since you're just starting. About dating, I was successful with 30/40 year old cougars but it was just sex. If you go to cougar bars and you'll get some action. I did start dating but I realized I did not want any commitments.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:20 PM
2

Ok so maybe it's not as complicated. What I don't get is that she decides to move to another bedroom, but you're the one that has to leave the house. Does she think it's ok just to be roommates? Women do things without thinking so no need to rationalize her. I would tell her to leave. If she doesn't, ask a lawyer. Because she's been contributing it might complicate things. If she does then you're lucky.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 02:59 AM
3

House is in my name, but she's insisting that I move out if I don't want to live with her. How long has she been living in your house? Any kids? Does she contribute to the house payments? My ex asked me to leave and I was going to. Her mom actually told me to stand my ground. I did and she left.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 01:13 AM
6

I always feel like the truth always comes out. That's a great way to put it. A lot of guys here are hurting, are being abused by a system that treats them as second class for having a penis. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even when it's really dark, keep walking, be proud of who you are. It might take a long time, but it will come.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 12:16 AM
1

Live and learn I guess...
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 06:48 AM
1

This happened to me whenever I had sex with someone new for the first time. First time after divorce was with mom of two. She got really wet, a bit "loose" and I was using a condom so there was no friction. I finished the second time and after a while. It was a combination of no friction and my mind telling me I was doing something wrong. I had the same issue with the girl after that (condom), but after we sex the second time it went away. I didn't have an issue with the following one (no kids a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:59 AM
1

Are you using condoms?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:23 AM
1

Is your ex in India or in Canada?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:19 AM
2

When dividing assets I understand it's calculated based on the date of separation. Are you trying to lower your salary for child support purposes?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 01:58 AM
1

So you went to the sheriff's office, told them that "my ex is withholding my kids from me, this is my court order" and they're not doing anything about it?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:59 PM
1

4 is a difficult age. I have 50/50 custody and even then my son would cry for his mom from time to time since he was 3.5 to just after 4. My ex didn't care because she was rushing to suck random guys' dicks at bars. If you want recommendations: do something fun with her, something that she enjoys. Even if it's an ice cream or something. A 4 year old is too young to decide, in most places that starts at 12. Remember that girls need a father figure. You're better than your ex because you're trying…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:53 PM
4

If your wife truly has npd/BPD characteristics, even this type of response from the court will not stop her behavior. This is exactly what I have experienced as well. Nothing stops a BPD because in her mind, she is doing the right thing and you are the cause of all her problems. You cannot apply reason when dealing with a BPD because they do not reason however they can be very manipulative and convincing, because they truly believe their lies. A psychologist told me that a BPD will turn to the k…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:04 PM
1

Yes and I noticed that the longer the text, the better it works. I'm still playing around with prompts. When it comes to grey rock, nothing beats a machine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:47 PM
12

Women have changed a lot. Before they only got attention from the few guys that were at the same bar. Now they get attention from the tens of thousands of guys on the same dating app. They've become more picky and difficult to deal with. Your game needs to be top notch unfortunately or the attraction very high. Go without expectations and have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:58 AM
4

How long have you been divorced? After being with someone for so long it's impossible not to compare. Like you said it's a skill. Go on dates even if you don't like the woman. It will help you for the next one. Also there is lots of material now about improving your technique and success with women.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:38 AM
9

Mine was too. I remember feeling sorry for the poor dude that ends up with such a cheating wh0re.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 12:40 AM
1

A while ago I read a book by someone who suffered severe burns while at work. He said that one of the first things his psychologist told him is that his wife was going to leave within 3 years. What do you think happened? Apparently his wife asked him for divorce about a year after his accident.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 06:07 AM
0

Bit weird taking boyfriend to teacher interviews and asking them to note it down. She has BPD. Apparently BPDs have extreme fear of abandonment. They don't see themselves as a unit. They see themselves as an extension of someone else. When I go to talk to the teacher, I ask her about how he's doing at school. We don't talk about anything else. The topic of having two houses has come up but that's it. Also try to have his friends come over to your place or do after school activities while at your…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:20 PM
0

concentrate not on what they do together, but what you do with their child, why didn't you sign them up for soccer? Actually I did sign him up for soccer. But before I asked his mom if she was ok with her taking him during her parenting time. While I can sign him up for other activities I don't think it's healthy for him not to attend while he's spending time with the other parent. If he's missing half of it, it will be harder for him to make progress or to be part of the group. Why not trying t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:06 PM
1

The agreement says decision making is shared between parents and a parent should not speak negatively of the other one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 02:14 PM
4

Your kids are very young, specially 18 months. When you have kids so young things can get very complicated. My ex introduced a series of men to my son. Then she started dating more seriously and shit hit the fan. The guy had kids so my ex wanted to match his schedule so they could have alone time. I said "no can do" because our parenting schedule was already set based on my work schedule. She lawyered up but I told her lawyer to fuck off. My ex got really upset because the lawyer took her money …
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:39 AM
4

"Once a cheater, always a cheater" should be taught in schools. Mine also swore she would never do it again. Fast forward a few years, she started fucking another dude. If I had only dumped her the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:08 AM
1

She has anxiety/depression/ADHD issues and needs constant reassurance that everything is okay which is exhausting. I’m starting to feel like more of a caregiver than a husband. Oh man I've been there. 2 girlfriends and a wife. You hope for things to get better but they never do. You're hopeful when everything seems ok but it doesn't last long. Check other conditions like BPD, very common in women. You're young and have no kids. Do not do this to yourself. If you're not happy, get out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:43 PM
1

My first Christmas I was also alone as my family was also far away. I made myself an awesome steak, drunk a couple of very expensive German beers and watched manly movies. The alone time right after the divorce was hard but honestly I remember it being one of the best times of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:03 AM
1

What percentage are you paying of the expenses? Have you looked into deemed income?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 04:56 AM
1

Your son needs to have a relationship with you. Your ex can fuck right off. With 1 in 4 children being fatherless, these children are at a 4 times greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioural problems, are more likely to go to prison or commit crime, with girls being 7 times more likely to become pregnant as a teen, and more likely to face abuse and neglect, and if these were not enough to cause major concern, add on that they are also more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and twic…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 03:35 PM
2

Have you called the office to see if she's sick?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 01:26 AM
1

Yes meetup. Everyone is there for the same purpose, it was very welcoming.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 01:12 AM
3

I started going out to meet people. Find a social club in your area. Meeting new people was the best thing that happened to my mental health. You will not believe how many newly divorced people go to these meetings just trying to move on. In those meetings I also met women and had some mind-blowing sex. My ex also has BPD. It's been 5 years since we divorced and she's still battling me in court.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:54 PM
23

“she’s a strong independent woman and she don’t need me.” Exactly. My ex would ask me about tires for the car or her Internet. I told her to figure out on her own.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:51 PM
2

I started dating too soon and in the process I realized I wasn't there yet. I paused for a bit then I started dating again. Until I came to the conclusion that the best times of my life were when I was free. I could go out meet friends, workout, study, work, etc. without having to worry about anyone else. Yes I missed sex and the physical connection. Women don't generally want to date casually. I was seeing one girl, we were having a lot of fun in bed then she brought up travelling together and …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:24 AM
2

1) get a better lawyer. 2) Also hire a lawyer in Toronto and have him/her file this: https://www.ontario.ca/document/guide-procedures-family-court/steps-complete-serve-and-file-your-financial-disclosure-documents
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:16 AM
0

So 73k - 22k realtor fees = 51k / 2 = $25,500. If she gives you $20k and she sells for $400 she would get $31k. That's over 50% more. So she gets $11k more than you just for dealing with the sale and cleaning the house up. Before saying yes or no I would talk to a realtor and ask about the current market and how long will it take to sell.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:35 AM
9

I'm sorry to hear. Have you tried counseling? My ex told me she wanted to separate the same day my mom was flying into town to stay with us for a month. We even went to a wedding together and slept in separate beds at a luxury hotel I had booked beforehand as a treat for us. What I found out later is that she was already fucking someone else. I acted like a simp trying to please her. Then I just completely ignored her and spent time with my mom instead. After my mom left, my ex asked me (well sc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:14 AM
41

Would you sign a contract that: Doesn't provide any value (you won't get more from a wife than from a girlfriend. It doesn't provide any benefit to you.) The other party can break anytime and if she does, it can cost you 50% of your savings, plus a fraction of your future earnings potentially forever. 50% of the contracts end up being broken and 70% of the times the other party initiates it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:05 AM
2

It's hard to contain all of those emotions It's extremely hard, so good job to you. I confronted my ex, she denied it until I show her proof. Then she said it was my fault. Yes talk to a lawyer. She cannot take the kid to another country without your consent, at least for now. Figure out your rights and obligations. By being prepared, you're ahead of the game. She might be talking for a lawyer for all you know. One of the best things I did was to keep the proof and share it with everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 07:19 PM
4

Are you me 15 years ago? In my 20s I gave a girlfriend I had at the time $5k for a gastric surgery. Within a year she was fucking someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 06:27 PM
3

I'm sorry you went through that OP. My ex is BPD and while physical violence was present, her hateful emails and financial abuse was worse. She would spend thousands of dollars and refuse to work. my wife will be rewarded for being abusive, selfish, profligate and lazy, and I'll be punished for being diligent, considerate and frugal. That's exactly how I feel. My lawyer had to courage to tell me "well, you agreed to support her so you just have to keep doing it". I got rid of him. Another lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:04 PM
5

Please tell my 26 year-old self
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:42 AM
10

Listen to this OP. You do not want to get involved with someone with BPD. Her wild sexual behavior screams mental issues. To me it has more red flags than a Chinese communist party parade.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 11:35 PM
2

Did she just realize her life was actually going to change? Then when it didn't go as well as she hoped and actually had to pay a bit to keep tr house she had a panic attack the next day.. When women ask for a divorce they think it's going to be a fairytale from Sex and the City. When they realize they are just a single mom that are dependent on their ex's support their fantasy world comes down collapsing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 11:31 PM
1

My lawyer has also a psychology degree. We went to mediation with my ex, she started crying when the mediator was giving her a hard time for being unreasonable. My lawyer said she was definitely not well and it showed. He told me to keep an eye on my son because with these people you never know. She is diagnosed BPD and I'm counting the days until my son is 18.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:21 PM
3

They're usually ambiguous. In your case your lawyer has had a direct professional experience with the other lawyer. You need to ask questions, do not let your lawyer drive this. You are the one that has to do it. She was worked under him which means he's more experienced and might know her weak spots. I don't know the whole picture, but if I were you I would switch lawyers. If you ask me, go for an older lawyer. One that is partner at his/her firm and has been practising family law for a long ti…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:16 PM
3

That might sound like a conflict of interest.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 04:32 PM
3

long shot means difficult and less likely to win the case Yes that's what it means. Where do you live? I would definitely feel uneasy as ask for clarification. You can always consult with another lawyer for a second opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 04:07 AM
1

Check the laws in your state regarding recording. If it's one party consent start recording the conversation. I would invite them to do something they like. Something like "hey let's go to McDonald's this weekend" (or whatever they liked to do with you in the past). Once you meet them you can ask them if there is something that happened.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 11:13 PM
1

Are you able to phone your kids to ask them what's happening?
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 08:41 PM
2

Some people do stay together until their kids are 18. They also have miserable lives and are unhappy with someone they don't want to be with. Also keep in mind that women initiate like 80% of divorces. Even if you want to stay married once she's made her mind there is no going back. Yes agreements tend to be very detailed to avoid conflicts. It's like an insurance policy to protect yourself and your kids. When you have a kid you're linked to the mother for the rest of your life basically. It's a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:50 PM
1

she got diagnosed with Borderline Dude... Don't walk, run! My ex has borderline. I did a lot of reading and research. It does not go away, ever. This isn't your fault or your responsibility. Sometimes it's really bad, sometimes it's really good. It leaves you all confused. But it doesn't magically go away. This can go on forever. Lows lasted months then one day everything was fine for about two years. Then it got worse again. There is no cure, save yourself unless you want to be absolutely miser…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 05:12 AM
1

When it rains it pours eh boys.? It does. One month I ended up sleeping with three different girls. Pump and dump for me, most of them are toxic and damaged goods.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:58 AM
3

Just pay your stupid tax and move on. Lol that's a good name for it. I wish they would teach this in school. My boys are going to be well aware of the dangers of women.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 11:21 PM
–

Some banks allow you to take the mortgage with you to a new home. Call them and see.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:48 PM
1

If your kids are older it's ok to discuss things with them: "I understand your mother needs more money to care of herself. This is something you don't need to worry about. I will let her know I can help her get a job so she can have a good income"
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:43 PM
–

These things are genetic so it's very possible. There is a lot of overlap between different mental disorders so she might need to be diagnosed by a professional to know exactly what she has.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:47 PM
2

She's been really high conflict (BPD diagnosed) and I would at all possible try to avoid anything that leaves the door open for drama. I was thinking about offering a few days but knowing her it will be difficult. She would probably want to choose the specific days that might not work for me. That's why the schedule is the way it is.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 09:05 PM
2

That sounds right. My goal is that she doesn't take this any further to avoid conflict and costs.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 07:39 PM
2

That's the thing, there is already an agreement that works.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 07:15 PM
3

Her new job isn't very flexible with the summer vacation. Apparently she can only take vacation in August. Right now we rotate the whole month of July and August. Every other year she wouldn't be able to take the kids on vacation. She wants me to be able to take only July and she would take them August. I will not accommodate that for a change that she made on her own and that it might be temporary. I don't want to be limited to one specific month as I need to coordinate vacation with my colleag…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 07:13 PM
2

Have you ever been to a third world country as a white dude? People follow you asking you for money, they want to be your friend so they can ask you for money, they want to sell you crap so they can have your money. For women is the same. Each woman, doesn't matter how ugly or fat has tons of dudes slobbering all over her. You will have to really stand out to even get noticed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 08:08 PM
0

I recorded the convo, and am taking pics of these things when i see them, to document it. For those with experience, does this kind of thing happen a lot? can i use this as an example of attempting parental alienation, in court? Always always always try to be calm. Remember she's the crazy one. Do not fall to her level. She's gaslighting you. I would say something like "Oh I saw you got those books. Are those for me to read? I would like to get better at parenting with you" with a friendly tone.…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 05:27 PM
25

I think it's pretty bad. You're their dad not some random stranger. I wouldn't say anything because first of all there is nothing you can do about it and second if you do, she would be happy because she knows it bothers you. It's just one of those things...
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:58 PM
4

If you think about it, over 20% of middle aged women are on antidepressants. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. I also read somewhere that high conflict cases are the vast majority of cases that go to court. Reasonable people reach an agreement before it gets to that point. So we can deduct that most women are batshit crazy and keep creating conflict. A warning for those thinking about getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 01:01 PM
2

How to communicate with someone who hates you? Research BIFF. Brief Informative Friendly Firm. Don't show emotions. Do not respond to hostile accusations. I made a rule to wait 2 days before responding to crazy shit. After 2 days it didn't bother me as much. The urge to hit back went away. Don't talk, use email only. How do I avoid spending a fortune on legal fees when everything is contested? Unfortunately that depends on your ex. It helps having a good lawyer. What compromises should I conside…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 04:11 AM
2

I'm on my second (not actually married but we have a kid and live together) and I feel I lot like you. If this doesn't work that's it, no more women ever.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:54 AM
6

Those kind of hyperbolic comments are pretty common from someone suffering from BPD. My ex was diagnosed and yours definitely sounds like her. She said I was sending derogatory emails, that I was a bad parent, she also brought up her boyfriend (she called her boyfriend's daughters her step daughters 3 months after they met), etc. Judges are used to this shit and are very good at identifying who's being unreasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:45 AM
1

The usual tinder, bumble. I also banged some I met through meetup.com. Find something you like, there are lots of groups.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 10:44 PM
2

Cougar bars and apps. I noticed in cougar bars almost everyone over 35 is divorced. They want to catch up what they've missed I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 11:52 AM
1

When I asked if we could discuss imputing income because she NEEDS to work, to decrease amount he said "NO". You don't have to ask her, you need to get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:47 AM
4

I hooked up and I feel it helped me move on. In all cases they were divorcing or recently divorced so they were looking for the same. I had a lot (and I mean a lot) of sex. Don't become emotionally attached and don't let them become attached. Women are needy sometimes. Once I got it out of my system I was able to focus more on improving myself, having a good social life, hobbies, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:39 AM
6

She's keeping you in the back pocket if things don't work out with the new guy. Do yourself a favor and block her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 02:51 PM
7

It's tempting to give in. But you shouldn't, specially if you have kids. You'll have to deal with her for a long time. It's impossible to get it over with. Here is the thing: what she wants now might not be what she wants a year from now. If you give in now, she will take you for granted. You'll be at the mercy of her wishes that will change on a whim. Your life will depend on someone else's feelings. Do you want to live like that, appeasing to a bully so she stops being angry at you? If you sta…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 11:55 AM
7

A while ago I saw an image (I can't find it) that represented emotions. It was a horizontal line. The left side included strong emotions and the right weak emotions. On the left, on top of the line it said "Love". Also on the left but under the line it said "Anger". On the very right it said "indifference". There were others in between. Your ex still has an strong emotion for you. She crossed the line from "love" to "hate", she's still on the left side. This is very normal as she's still attache…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 05:11 AM
7

Light switch effect?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 12:07 AM
2

Check this out: https://www.cargurus.ca/Cars/price-trends/ Enter the model, the dates and it will give you the historical price trend
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 05:32 PM
18

Going through a divorce can trigger many emotions, from anger to anxiety and depression. Just pasting this from the internet: Exercise reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body's natural painkillers and mood elevators. Endorphins are responsible for the "runner's high" and for the feelings of relaxation and optimism that accompany many hard workouts — or, at least, the h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 04:35 PM
5

I had proof in front of me (text messages and pictures) of my ex cheating and I still couldn't believe it. I couldn't picture it in my head. It was the denial phase. Like others have said, she's either planning on cheating or she's already cheating. Sometimes it just doesn't matter what you do or how good you are. It has nothing to do with you, the problem is her. You said she has you in the basement. You're not a dog. You live in your house. My ex kept saying that I had to leave, I told her tha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 10:26 PM
2

As others have said, for what I've read and also in my personal experience these behaviors will not change. In my case it got better for a while only to get worse after. I thought if I was nice enough, worked hard enough she would change. She never did. Some of these things can be somewhat managed but if you expect change it will never come. It's likely that a trigger (a death in the family, a baby, etc) will push her even more over the edge. The thing you have to understand is that you can't sa…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 02:23 PM
1

The book "3% Man" from Corey Wayne was huge help. I was never successful with women, I settled down with my ex because I didn't think I could do better. The first year after the divorce I had to take a break from dating because I was having so much sex I needed to rest.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 04:00 AM
8

She's manipulative. She'll make you doubt yourself. Make sure to get some support and talk to someone about what she's doing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:54 AM
16

She's trying to pretend that everything is fine, make you look like the bad guy while she's the "reasonable" one. I would say (because she's going to bring it up) that you don't want to do family things anymore. It confuses the kids as they don't know what's going on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 01:59 AM
5

Good for you for not allowing yourself to be bullied. You probably know this already but record every single interaction with her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 12:01 AM
3

Mens sana in corpore sano
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 01:29 PM
2

If you had a kid now, by the time he/she is 18 you would be 62. Have you thought about that? Getting pregnant at 40 is a challenge for a woman. She might have to go through a treatment. I had a coworker that started having kids in his 40s, but his wife is 10+ years younger. He's 61 now and his youngest is 13. He has enough money to sell his home and retire but he can't until his younger is at least 18. pattern of picking partners who were not a good match for her. A.K.A. "I'm old now, I'm done f…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:40 PM
4

Each and every case, my ex posts on social media that 'she is escaping' and a survivor. They say that women are complicated but they really, really simple. Almost all of them follow the same pattern. They more I read this subreddit and the more I hear from men, the more I'm convinced. My ex did the exact same thing. She went overboard on social media, oversharing too much stuff to justify what she did. She would post things like she 'escaped a life she didn't design', 'the previous her does not …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:05 PM
35

I'm not sure there are statistics out there but almost every time I talk to someone or read a post from someone whose wife initiated divorce it's because she had already monkey branched to a new guy. It happened to me as well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:27 AM
1

You should include as much detail as possible. Everything. The more you include now the less arguments you will have. Do not leave anything to chance. Think like the contract you sign to get a credit card. I'm having a lot of issues now because the transition times are not defined. My ex wants me to pick up my son at noon, I want to pick him up after work so I don't have to ask for a day off. She decided that Xmas vacation starts the following day after the last day of school at 10 am, instead o…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 12:36 AM
3

That is really good, I'm definitely going to use it
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 02:22 PM
3

Yeah divorce is final and there is an agreement signed and filed in court. All this process is very stressful, I thought I had turned the page over. Any sort of conflict makes her happy, she lives for confrontation. She's trying to poke holes on all sections of the agreement and being extremely difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 04:31 AM
3

A friend on mine was a night shift security guard at a small town hospital. The nurses had a room for them to sleep when there was nothing to do and would call the security guards for "help with something". He said almost all the nurses (married or single) slept with security guards, doctors, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:21 PM
1

It's called "Thinking with your dick"
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:14 PM
1

Try meetup.com, I met a lot of cool people there. Loneliness at first is hard but having time to yourself is a blessing. I enjoy so many new things and try things my ex hated.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 03:22 PM
2

No it's not worth it. I tried it after my divorce and it made me miserable. Every single woman has issues of some sort. The freedom of being single and do whatever you want can't be bought with money. I had fuck friends but eventually women become more and more attached and want more. I had met wonderful women and had mind blowing sex but that's it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 04:06 PM
7

Women are so damn predictable. Take all that's yours, you deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:10 AM
1

I'm sorry for what you're going through. You lawyer is right, the longer you stay the worse it will be financially for you. Your wife sounds like she might have BPD. Unfortunately her mental problems will not go away. I learned that the hard way after trying to "save" my ex. You might have days, weeks or months (if you're lucky) where things seem to be ok, but you know that it won't last as you have already experienced. You will be better off without her. Your kids deserve to grow up in a functi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 09:05 PM
6

I'm currently in the process of imputing income to my ex. My lawyer said that we need to have a very good case because the system favors women. A judge would have no problem imputing income to a man he said. OP's lawyer should get the employment specialist lay out a "plan" for getting his ex back into the workforce making her maximum capacity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 05:11 AM
2

Last month I spoke to a lawyer to get income imputed to my ex. She basically sits at home doing nothing. The lawyer told me that the case needs to be rock solid in order to get income imputed to her. If it was the other way around it would be a walk in the park he said.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:29 AM
1

Your wife is an idea in your head about someone that doesn't exist. https://www.trp.red/p/trp/938 You're grieving a loss. Take time and please take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:12 AM
2

It took me about two months. I was traveling so it was consensual one night thing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:07 AM
3

You can apply for a copy here: https://www.ontario.ca/page/how-get-copy-ontario-marriage-certificate-online#section-0
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:05 AM
2

I'm guessing she wanted something serious, I didn't even want sex with a mom to be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:00 AM
3

Woah system is really fucked up
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 02:21 AM
1

Do not give up. What I meant is that I gave up trying to coordinate anything including summer camps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 01:13 AM
3

Narcissists are delusional and don't think about anyone else. Perhaps get your lawyer to negotiate with her lawyer. She might listen to someone in a position of authority
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 09:56 AM
1

How old is your daughter? My schedule is set in the parental order, we don't have to discuss anything other than extracurricular activities. In the summer my kids goes to camps I choose during my time. Everything is a fight and I gave up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 09:52 AM
1

Just before the pandemic I was at a cougar bar. This chick approaches me, we start talking and she wants to take me home. Then she says to me "Do you date single moms of two boys?" I lost my boner right away and backed off. She was pissed as hell.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 09:47 AM
1

My lawyer said that she will be imputed at minimum wage at the very least. What we're trying to do is put something together (a report from a recruiter and so on) that determines that she's capable of earning much much more.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 07:45 PM
1

She wants to change the vacation schedule. For summer, she proposes to pick 2-week blocks in June. I told her that's not acceptable because I need to book my vacation earlier. She says her bf can't pick his vacation sooner, I replied that's his problem. For Christmas she currently divide the vacation in half. She proposes to switch back and forth (xmas eve with one, xmas day with another one and so on). I told her no because that means I have to stay in town instead of being able to travel to se…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 07:42 PM
1

Thanks for your support! I started the process today. I sent her an email asking for her financial information. She will of course tell me to pound sand but my lawyer said my email "triggers" the process. If income is imputed it will go back to today. Now I have to work on getting her imputed as much income as possible. That means getting a report from a recruiter about her career earnings potential and options. Is there any advice you can give me?
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 03:08 AM
1

Those are very good points. My lawyer said that what happens at mediation doesn't matter. I don't have to agree to anything I don't want and it's confidential (the outcome does not give her any leverage) However I will not agree to him being there
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 12:27 AM
4

Thanks! Just as an update I spoke to my lawyer today. He is ambiguous as fuck and always answers with a question. He said if I want him there and why. I said that honestly I didn't care. I do not feel threatened by a douche. I know her well and she can't do anything alone so she needs to bring a lap dog. I can agree or not, it's my choice he said. However if she agrees to something, she can then say she was under duress. The court can side with her since the bias against men in family court is r…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 08:00 PM
10

What happens when she gets another boyfriend? Or if I get a gf and the schedules don't match?
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 06:36 PM
1

You don't need to file for separation status. If your ex and you agree you can backdate it to wherever you want. The court isn't going to ask questions. Just make sure update your status with the CRA and that it's not going to bite you (backdate child support or spousal support)
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 02:16 AM
3

She messaged to ask if I was going to take him because she said she would take him in case I couldn't. My spidey sense told me she was going to show up. I responded it was my parenting time, I would see about going the party and told her to back off. She then asked again demanding to know if he was going and I ignored her. She was going to show up anyway and I was afraid she was going to try and take him to the party right after school and cause even bigger drama.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 03:17 AM
6

No you're not wrong. That would've been really awkward to be honest. If hunting is an activity he likes then I'm sure you guys will have an awesome time. I wouldn't worry about it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 12:50 AM
1

Why doesn't he like her? Has he given any reasons?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 10:14 PM
1

Stay strong! If you remain consistent, stable and loving to your son, he will definitely see you're a great father
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/22 04:19 AM
1

Are all the documents signed? How long was he married for? Age?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 05:49 PM
6

It's my understanding that home equity loans have lower interest rates. I would talk to your bank and discuss options.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 12:50 PM
2

Your wife owns 50% of your business and she does not want to sell you her half, is that correct? Does she do any of the work? does she get a salary from the company?
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 08:47 PM
1

In case you aren't aware, there are subreddits that help dealing with loved ones that have bpd. Could you share them? My ex is BPD. It's a shitshow of non-stop emails, false accusations, insults, attempts of parental alienation, etc...
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 03:25 PM
4

This is perhaps the most accurate analysis of relationships ever written. It happened to me with a long-term girlfriend and again with my ex-wife. My ex wife said that there was never a connection and that she never wanted to get married (while in fact she gave me an ultimatum, we get married or else). She posted on Facebook how unhappy she had always been and how much better her life was now. Now I wonder what comes after. After a while both exes were apologetic. But my ex is still displaying a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 12:46 PM
2

Oh boy, yes I could write a book. Last tirade was about vacation. She wanted to take my son to see her parents during my block of vacation. I told her she could schedule that during her time. Apparently I'm a horrible person because I'm "preventing him from seeing his grandparents".
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 12:09 AM
1

Thanks! I just checked my local library, they have one of his books but all copies are "in use" lol. Not sure if I should feel better than other people are going through the same.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 12:05 AM
1

I limit my contact to email. No calls or any sort of text messaging. My ex also got a boyfriend but it's made things worse. She has abandonment issues so she's a clinger. She lawyered up to try to match our parenting schedule to his and lost it when I wouldn't agree. She called me every name on the book but ultimately got her boyfriend to change his instead.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 02:18 AM
1

4 years for me as well and no signs of abating. The flow of insults and false accusations is endless. I read somewhere that once a BPD narcissist sees you as the enemy they will do anything to destroy you, even if it affects your kids in the process.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 02:09 AM
1

Thanks I'll check it out
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 02:06 AM
1

Thanks, I appreciate it. It's the gift that keeps on giving. He's only 7 but he learned to compartmentalize since he was about 5. Especially since she came to my door and tried to kick it down in front of my son because I asked to please don't make me wait 30 minutes when I pick him up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 09:37 PM
1

There is a Discord group: https://discord.gg/kAwBuyyy
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 09:10 PM
6

First time my ex took my kid I was devastated. Now I enjoy our time together and my time alone with no one bitching at me. Do something useful with your time, don't drink or do anything to feel sorry about yourself. Talk to people, join divorce groups.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 12:54 AM
7

You're very very very young. Get out now and treat this as a mistake. Once it's this bad it will not get any better. You can easily rebuild your life, become a better man (watch Corey Wayne on YouTube) and this will be a thing of the past
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 12:51 AM
39

If you're on your 20s without kids and you wife doesn't want to have sex basically every day, run away. If you're on your 50s then it's a different story. I have found happiness being on my own first and being with someone more positive, responsible and healthy (not insane). Someone who I can talk to. But ultimately the female mind is what it is and you have to be aware of that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 06:04 PM
1

I’m only a yr out from the end of child support and have started to see the signs of an incomig storm. She will be financially devastated when it ends, not having the ability to cover her costs on her job alone. Child support has worked as intended: to support your kids, not your ex-wife. I think it's pretty sick that she's using child support money to support herself. Actions have consequences and while you might feel guilty or responsible in a way she's an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 06:57 AM
1

I have not much to add other than to offer you support. She could've been with someone else or not. But whatever happened the fight you guys had brought up her real feelings unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 10:47 PM
0

When I say cut contact. In my mind you basically can still talk to them, but you talk about the weather and other bullshit. If they ask how the kids are doing or how your relationship is going you only ever say “fine” never share anything about your life with them. That's being passive aggressive, not something a man should do. What OP should do is sit down with his family and set them straight. He should thell them that if they choose to have a relationship with his ex, however painful it will …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/22 02:21 PM
1

Best of luck. I hope your daughter makes a full recovery.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 03:08 AM
1

Luckily I got a pretty cheap ring for a cheap woman. One thing I chose right.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 11:17 PM
2

Yeah I made a mistake. BIFF = Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 10:18 PM
1

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm going through something similar with my, ex. Extremely combative, angry, demanding, bully, etc. This statement: "lacking in moral decency and self reflection, with an overwhelming need for control" basically sums my ex. I feel awful saying this but I'm looking forward my son being older so the nightmare can finally end. Something I learned is that you can't reason with unreasonable. You cannot hold her accountable. The more you try, the more it will d…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 06:32 PM
10

without screwing her over This post is one of best I've seen here so far: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/us6mw3/8_mistakes_men_should_avoid_during_divorce/ You have to look out for yourself and your kids first.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 02:54 PM
2

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaIG0QBIQAAgqII.jpg
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 07:27 PM
12

There is a saying in Spanish "He who pays for sex ends up saving"
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 01:52 AM
2

track where they were when with me Isn't that a bit creepy?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 03:22 AM
1

Thanks! Things were better at the beginning. We had an agreement but we were flexible and understanding. Now she that has a new boyfriend, she lawyered up to try to change everything in order to match his parenting schedule, without even trying to discuss things with me. I'm just trying to figure things out again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 04:19 AM
2

My son was 2 when I got divorced, no family, friends capable to help or support in town. I'm not sugar coat it, it's hard. I was lucky I was always working from home with a flexible schedule and made a decent income. I had to be extra nice to my ex even though she made my stomach sick. She didn't have any other support than me so that helped keeping tabs. As long as you have daycare options available to you, you should be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 11:21 PM
1

Thanks! Very helpful. This is what I wanted to hear. His ex wife is insane and screams, attacks, causes a scene at exchanges so the fewer exchanges the better His ex sounds like mine, she came to my place screaming and kicking my door when I asked to please stick to our schedule (she was always late). Now we do pick ups and drop offs at school. On another note, you seem to have a good attitude about her behavior. My current partner is struggling with my ex's toxic and vindictive behavior. So far…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 10:31 PM
1

The thing is that Mother's day weekend is in writing, so that's enforceable. I would get in trouble if I kept him. There is no specific provision how make up time is dealt with. I have heard from a friend that in December he takes a look at the calendar and they adjust their time to make sure they both spend the same amount of days. Unfortunately my ex is very vindictive, it's nearly impossible to co parent with her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 06:34 PM
3

🍻 Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 05:43 PM
2

My ex left my son with my parents while he was really sick so she could go to a hotel booked with my card to have sex with some random dude. My sister had to take him to ER in the middle of the night, my ex was nowhere to be found. I never wished happy mother's day to her after that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 05:08 PM
3

My ex would also threaten with divorce until it actually happened. A healthy person doesn't threaten with divorce, period. I can see that how it can cause a lot of stress for you. Women generally flip flop and change with the wind. We as men are more stoic. Two years into my marriage we had yet another argument and I just didn't care anymore. After a couple of days of me being cold and withdrawn she asked me if I wanted a divorce. I wish I had to courage to stand up and do it then. I even looked…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 05:34 AM
3

If you mention it she will probably become defensive and say it's your fault. It seems that you've already checked out so telling her won't accomplish anything. When everything is final I would definitely bring it up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 07:52 PM
1

Thanks so much for this. This post should be stickied.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 08:11 PM
2

Uber driver but with the price of gas I'm not sure you would make any money. I found cash jobs through connections, painting, landscaping, counting cars at an intersection, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 02:53 AM
2

My 5 year old came home one day saying her mom told him "there are people that aren't men or women, so we refer them as they". I responded: "remember how sometimes you're a T-rex, and some others a lion? This is the same, it's just pretend"
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 12:11 PM
3

What a joke. At a company I used to work for we weren't allowed to comment on someone's appearance. If you said to a colleague "hey nice shoes!" you could go straight to HR.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 12:05 PM
2

Interesting, I never heard of that. 6 years and 9 months in my case.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 12:39 PM
1

Did you contribute equally?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 04:37 PM
1

Correct that's yours to keep. I don't know in Ontario but here in Alberta when you're disclosing financials they ask you for your last 6 months of bank and credit card statements. You could always try to move some money around and "delay" things a bit hint hint. I bought for example gold coins with cash.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 03:20 PM
1

The down payment is yours. Whatever you brought to the marriage is yours to keep. Now if you lived together before getting married you would have to check Ontario laws. In Canada common law=married.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 03:50 PM
1

Whoa I could've written this. I live with my girlfriend and our kid. I have shared custody of my other kid as well. My ex has stirred serious shit, from sending me insulting emails to actually coming to our home and try to kick my door down in front of my son. You have to understand women. They're very very territorial. You ex doesn't want you to have a wife and she's jealous you moved on. Your wife doesn't want your ex's drama. She's said the same thing, she wishes it was just the three of us. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 02:40 PM
2

AB here. You'll likely pay 7/8 years alimony minimum. It depends on your age, roles, etc. Do not offer a lump sum alimony as it's not tax deductible. Only monthly payments are. Make sure to read and understand this: https://www.calgaryfamilylawyers.com/divorce/tax-implications-for-divorced-or-separated-parents/ Eligible dependant credit can save you lots. You can request for her to have income imputed. This means calculations are based on her having an income even if she doesn't work. Consult wi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 03:46 PM
1

No, I wouldn't go to couples counseling. She has shown her true colors. You won't get anything out of it. Just excuses from her part. According to statistics most marriages are initiated by women and as per my personal experience and what I read here, a lot of them cheat. Don't beat yourself up, there was nothing you could've done. That's female nature and that should be your closure. Take some time to yourself, healing takes time but you will come out of this. We all do. I wouldn't contact the …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 03:44 PM
2

It depends, what age range are you looking at?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 12:52 PM
1

How's that book? I've been following some of his work.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 03:22 PM
3

I never wanted to get married but my ex would continuously drop me hints. Once her cousin got engaged she cried and cried because I wouldn't ask her. Fast forward 5 years, she's fucking another dude she met while traveling. The month before she cheated she would text me saying how much she loved me. Her excuse? She suddenly realized she "never loved me". I told her: "then why did you insist on getting married?". Well according to her that never happened. Then I read about rewriting history and l…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:23 AM
5

She has checked out. There is nothing you can do to get her back. The sooner you understand that, the better. Read this, very useful: https://www.trp.red/p/trp/938
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 07:59 PM
2

My ex's idol is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Last time I checked her social media she was all about taxing the rich, how the government should pay basic income, etc. Just get a fucking job already and be an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:26 PM
2

Oh I am. She's already freaking out because of the CRA letter. I'm also imputing her income. Plus the lease on her car ends this year ($15k) and she has a ton of student loans to pay back. Her degree is useless (English major). She's going to be living under a bridge if she doesn't step up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:24 PM
3

My ex just got a letter from a CRA saying I retroactively applied for CCB. If she has to pay back tens of thousands of dollars I'll be delighted. Somewhere I read it's only 11 months. Screw that fucking cheating whore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 02:07 AM
2

I understand there might be people that can't work for whatever reason but my ex is just plain lazy. She gets welfare as if she was disabled. It makes me sick.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 02:03 AM
1

https://discord.gg/BdXhQ4dk
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 05:05 AM
2

https://discord.gg/BdXhQ4dk
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 05:05 AM
1

There's this one: https://discord.gg/BdXhQ4dk
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 05:04 AM
2

Get some gift cards you can use later. Costco, Amazon, Walmart, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:43 AM
3

Advice to whoever wants to "hide" some money: buy gift cards. At Costco I used to spend an extra couple of hundred dollars on Costco gift cards. Not a lot but I didn't have to spend anything on groceries for about a year.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:40 AM
3

I did the something similar to my ex. Instead of naming the files "Mastercard October 2020.pdf" for example I changed the name to something completely random. I also changed the orientation of the pages around, etc .
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:37 AM
2

The problem with that is a judge could ask you to pay it back. If you move big quantities of money before a divorce also raises flags and the taxman will bite you when you sell (if you don't lose it). What I did over the years is buy gold coins. More stable, you can sell for cash and can also be hidden. I bought as well Costco gift cards, it doesn't raise any flags.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 04:41 PM
2

Grey divorce sucks, I'm glad I got out early. You would probably be looking at support until she's 65 unfortunately. It could come down to what employable skills she has.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 01:39 AM
2

Why monero and not another crypto?
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 01:26 AM
3

No I wouldn't do it in front of anyone. Stay calm and be empathetic: "I understand you're angry/upset, etc.." There could be anger and last minute bargaining. Remain focus and to the point. Deliver your message that's all.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/21 11:02 PM
9

Do it like you would rip a bandaid, firmly and quick. Don't sugar coat it. But first I would meet with a lawyer, figure out what you need to do. Then tell her your reasons for wanting a divorce, that your decision is irrevocable and explain what you're doing next. Keep your cool and try not to be emotional. Don't engage in personal attacks, just say that you're not happy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/21 10:30 PM
21

Make yourself some nice dinner, drink a good beer/cocktail, watch a movie, enjoy being alone. On my first Christmas alone I made cheese fondue for myself, had an expensive German beer and had a really good time on my own.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 01:11 AM
3

I used to look at old pictures and feel very sad. Last time I went through them I cringed. I deleted most of them. I cannot believe I wasted so many years with my ex. It does get better, but you also have to pull yourself up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 08:25 PM
19

Keep it separate. Your son is too young to remember a happy memory but will get upset if she fights you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 05:10 PM
5

Graphical visualization of "I need space" https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0015/4766/5460/products/[email protected]?v=1551119986 https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0015/4766/5460/products/[email protected]?v=1551119768
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 05:46 PM
3

My kid is with me this year. What I have done in previous years is have some delicious dinner on my own and watch some war movie (Thin Red Line is one of my favorites) or invite friends over.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 02:25 PM
15

There is no amicable divorce. That's a myth. You get divorced for a reason. The more money you have, plus if you have kids, the less amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 05:56 PM
4

Single life is absolutely awesome. Don't get back into a relationship too fast. Do whatever you want to do first, enjoy your life. There are sooo many chicks out there, you're still young so you can still have fresh young pussy. Something that helped me to get back into dating was Corey Wayne's book about being a 3% man. I also went from barely having sex to having soo much that I had to take a break.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/21 03:52 PM
7

Urgh my ex does the same. I absolutely hate it when people are late. She's regularly late and of course always has an excuse and it's never her fault.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/21 02:46 AM
2

what do you want to do long term? stay in the same city? move somewhere else?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/21 07:15 PM
3

I would argue it's a safe bet to get it set at minimum wage, but higher than that is going to probably be more expensive than it's worth It might be more expensive than what it's worth when I take into account legal fees. But in the long run, she will have to get herself employed to make up for the money she isn't getting, which is great for me. The more she makes the less I pay.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 10:15 PM
5

Congrats! Well done!
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 10:13 PM
15

That's a very good and mature self-reflection on your part.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 09:28 PM
9

I considered the idea and everywhere I read warned not to do it. It never works no matter how amicable you are. Think about it this way: you're divorcing for a reason and you need your own space. What happens when she asks you to clean after yourself or your kids? Or if she leaves old food behind in the fridge? Or you find a condom wrap in the garbage? What you can do instead is live close by within walking distance.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 04:54 AM
4

This is exactly my ex. When I think it's over, she keeps coming back for more. We've been divorced for a few years yet she keeps accusing me of stuff. Now she wants to change our agreement, I had to reach out to my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 07:16 PM
1

I always record any interaction I have with my ex. I put my phone in my shirt pocket, she doesn't even notice it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 02:44 AM
10

It would make sense. Courts always favor the women. She could argue that a the child is being breastfed so she needs to take care of him. Do you have any family support close by?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 09:56 PM
1

Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 11:38 PM
2

6 figures in Canada is not the equivalent to 6 figures in the US. More taxes, everything is more expensive, etc. Also the expenses are proportional to the income. If he makes way more, he also pays more in child care, health insurance, summer camps, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 11:30 PM
3

50/50 custody. Negotiations lasted a year. In the end I just wanted the finish so I gave up a few things I shouldn't have. I just wanted to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 11:26 PM
2

Check this out: https://www.freshlegal.ca/blog/2017/6/28/imputing-income-self-employment
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 10:58 PM
9

After almost four years I wonder the same. My ex still directs her anger at me. I still get letters from her lawyer about things she wants, emails with insults, etc. If your ex's life was normal she wouldn't try to make your miserable. She's probably miserable and wants to drag you down to her level.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 10:08 PM
2

Welcome to the club! All the best in your new phase.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 07:46 PM
20

I would talk to a lawyer to see if this qualifies a libel. This is harming your reputation since other people are reaching out to you. Take screenshots of everything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 01:01 PM
15

No, she will not. There are many posts (I can't find any, maybe someone can post a link) about how women rewrite history. In her point of view she was never happy. You can't reason with her because women don't think like us. It doesn't matter how happy she was. The past doesn't matter because for her it doesn't match how she feels now. Women feel. It can be 100 degrees but if they feel cold then it is cold, period. Because she dumped you she will eventually feel bad and might reach out but not r…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 04:03 PM
4

Textbook example of the light switch effect.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 10:24 AM
2

AB here. My former brother in law got hooked on painkillers and other meds after a surgery. At some point he OD'd and ended up in the hospital. His ex wife filed an emergency protection order which was denied by the judge because it was in child's best interest to have contact with her father. So even though he went to rehab twice and was hospitalized several times, the judge allowed him to keep seen her. So basically unless your ex goes to jail no judge would give a shit. My ex is mildly aliena…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/21 07:37 PM
11

I can't find the post right now but someone posted a bunch of books you should read, including the Rational Male and No More Mr. Nice Guy. Long term romantic love is a illusion. Women see love different that we do. They see love as conditional and something temporary. In my experience, the modern western woman is not meant to be a loving spouse or a mother. You are successful and that's a magnet for women. Honestly, if I was back in my 20s I would date casually but would NOT commit to anyone. Ge…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 05:09 PM
2

From one of my favorite movies: “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.” Thank you for your response.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/21 12:04 AM
1

Evolutionary psychology has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that, for women, so called "romantic" love is conditional, transactional and transient. I've been reading the subreddit https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ Like other resources, it mentions "life long dating". Basically treat your partner/wife as you would a girlfriend. Do you have any recommendations for long term relationships?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 10:43 PM
1

Do you have family help?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 01:03 PM
1

I have since found out that she has been sleeping with said guy friend at least since she moved out. When I confronted her about it she said they were already steadily dating too. I can't give you advice about the laws in Florida but this is normal dumper behavior and this relationship won't last long. Make sure to stay focused for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 11:20 AM
3

Each person and each relationship is different. Also women and men are different. In my opinion the dumpee goes through the stages of divorce. The dumper goes through the stages on your first link. I was dumped twice and both times my exes contacted me after months to reach out. But it was not about me, it was about their guilty feelings. I had already moved on. When I dumped I found myself googling my exes names after a while. She might come back when the "break up honeymoon" is over, she finds…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 12:14 PM
6

The stages for the dumper and the dumpee are different. She's enjoying her new found freedom now. Once you make a full recovery she will be struggling. Did she cheat? Perhaps. The excuses she's given you are her attempts to rationalize her decision.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 09:29 AM
1

If you feel at ease now, then you made the right choice. I would've talked to a lawyer to see what your options were. Also I why did she want to get married? Religion or personal beliefs? In the end only you know all the details. If you didn't trust her before getting married then ending the relationship was for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 04:30 AM
3

I don't have one. I consulted with one who told me to fight for what I think is right. Another lawyer wanted $2k just for an initial meeting. She has one because she doesn't work so one gets assigned to her. My tax dollars at work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 06:22 PM
2

First of all: she's your enemy, not your friend. I told my ex that not just my house but my whole property is off limits for her. We do drop off and pick up and my son's school. I told her she's is not to interfere with my parenting time. You have to be really firm and assertive or it's going to damage your relationship with your girlfriend. Women are protective and jealous.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 05:22 PM
2

If you're really worried you should talk to a lawyer first. Depending where you live, different rules apply. For example where I am what you bring to the marriage is yours to keep. So before getting married, make a list of whatever you have and keep proof. Whatever you get after it's no longer yours to keep. During my marriage I bought gold coins with my credit card, I "forgot" about them when filing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/21 03:24 AM
1

Hang on there. My ex was exactly the same. You get that thousand feet stare and wonder what the f did I do to deserve this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 02:52 AM
22

I already posted it here but will do it again: My boss learned that the hard way. Married a single mom and got divorced. Now he has to pay child support for a kid that isn't his. But it gets better: because the kid has a developmental issue his obligations don't stop when the kid turns 18.
/r/MGTOW26/06/21 11:33 PM
2

u/censorshipforlosers I wanted to thank you for this post. That sub is truly awesome. Thanks for sharing it. It's great to discuss these issues with other men.
/r/MGTOW16/05/21 05:37 AM
2

Woman going her own way Society: "You go girl! you're independent and breaking stereotypes". Man going his own way. Society: "Loser, misogynistic manchild that plays videogames".
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 05:01 AM
10

The freedom of sleeping alone is absolutely priceless.
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 04:51 AM
16

Most women are hoarders. When my ex moved out she needed 4 trips on a 15ft u-haul and that was not even half her shit. I had to spend hundreds of dollars on 1800GotJunk to get rid of the rest. She then had the nerve to text me two years later to ask if she could pick up other things.
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 04:49 AM
16

Modern feminism (feminazism) has failed women and destroyed family values. It has taught them that it's ok to ride the cock carrousel when they're young. It has made them expect prince charming will come to the rescue when their uterus is decomposing. Those headlines are from women that have realized that true happiness is not about posting your last trip on Instagram. It's not about going shopping for another pair of shoes. Now they miss what they could've done with their life; looking at your …
/r/MGTOW14/05/21 04:47 AM
1

We're not that far off. If you don't find fat whamen attractive then you're fatphobic: https://www.wearyourvoicemag.com/fatphobia-is-not-a-sexual-preference/
/r/MGTOW02/05/21 11:29 PM
5

They do have an army. Each man is also part of a militia. Until around 40 years old they have to do a couple of weeks of military training every few years. They have to keep their government supplied guns and ammo at home, ready to go any minute.
/r/MGTOW30/04/21 03:42 AM
7

I'm enjoying my popcorn while the western society collapses.
/r/MGTOW16/02/20 12:01 AM
5

Plus the tips are tax free. I don't get why she's complaining about.
/r/MGTOW15/02/20 11:54 PM
2

Very well said mate. I've been through the worst but each time I've reached the end of the tunnel. Male support is the best you can get.
/r/MGTOW22/11/19 05:17 AM
23

I was waiting for a light to cross a street when I saw a homeless dude yelling at a woman standing next to me. She looked at me like asking for help. I was about to tell the guy to fuck off when a voice whispered to me "white knight...". I did absolutely nothing and nothing happened to her anyway. Let the strong and independent use feminism to protect themselves out there.
/r/MGTOW31/05/19 06:47 PM
1

They aren't "enormous". They are really great returns double than the S&P 500 http://awealthofcommonsense.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/BRK1.png Also he buys so many stocks of one company than the mere demand makes the stock go up. Also a lot of people are trying to mimic him pushing the stock of what he buys even further. He's very smart none less and knows very well where to invest. Going back to the marriage, it would be as if you do a full psychological evaluation, family history, etc. of t…
/r/MGTOW25/05/19 06:18 PM
1

Given his age and the length of marriage he could not only lose not only half of his retirement savings but also half of his retirement income until the day he dies. He has to make a choice, either remain in the marriage jail or get out and maybe live in the street depending of his finances. Not an easy one.
/r/MGTOW24/05/19 12:30 AM
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