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Haltthemoon Archive

View 13 posts and 352 comments by Haltthemoon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
308

NOTHING BUT FACTSHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 07:09 PM
188

LESSON LEARNEDHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:16 PM
135

QUEEN SH*THaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:55 PM
101

MOOD FOR LIFEHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 05:00 AM
97

LESSON LEARNEDHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:13 AM
91

Haltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:04 AM
89

Haltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 04:49 AM
88

Haltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 03:13 AM
68

Haltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 08:32 PM
42

DISCUSSIONHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:24 PM
22

SEEKING ADVICEHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:18 AM
3

MALE DEPRAVITYHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:46 PM
1

MINDSET SHIFTHaltthemoon/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Oh wait, I stand corrected. It was only on the DS. No Wii version. Aw so sad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:36 AM
2

I'm glad to hear the coach/therapist is helping! My therapist is helping me to cope and manage this tragedy. Thankfully, I've been seeing for a few years so I have some emotional tools to work with. It is still hard on the daily but baby steps :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:33 AM
9

Yay! I'm happy to hear :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:31 AM
7

OMG no, I didn't know about this game! Looks like there is one for the Wii. I still have that console. I will look for it! Thanks for letting me know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:31 AM
2

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. How are you coping?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:33 PM
6

Yes! This! 1000%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:40 AM
8

Therapy. Seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:40 AM
3

Depends on where you live. If you live in a large city, the population is very diverse. That means most people have dated multiple people of different ethnicities. In this case, the chances of fetishization is lower in comparison to a less diverse small town. It is certainly harder to avoid men who have fetishes of certain ethnicities in small towns. Definitely do your diligence in scoping them out. I also don't think the generalization you made regarding 'i make sure that the guy [...] didnt da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:35 AM
1

This is great! I chuckled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:17 AM
2

I'm so sorry to hear you had to experience sexual assault. You are so right. I am so scared to be around men right now. Before this incident, I was feeling really lonely and yearned after random men walking by on the street. Now, I don't want anyone to look at me. The facemask actually makes me feel really protected at this moment in time. I will be okay. Thank you for your kind words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:09 PM
1

Thank you for your kind words. Stay safe out there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:07 PM
2

Thank you for your kind words. I might take you up on it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:01 AM
4

I didn't expect the commenters to go after my decision of not reporting to the police. I do hope the debates we are having in this post really give women insightful information about rape victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:16 PM
4

The even shittier part is his response to my text about not having a choice of what happened and not consenting. He said "I still think you're a great person. It doesn't change my perception of you". WTF? You penetrated me without my consent unprotectedly. I had a thousand words for him, but I didn't respond. I blocked him. No point of writing long paragraphs to a shitty scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:15 PM
3

I'm so sorry to hear. I hope you have protection measures in your house and carry pepper spray with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:01 PM
4

I agree with everything in your comment. I know this is weird to say but after I watched the show Unbelievable on Netflix a while back, it stayed with me. Probably will for the rest of my life. It portrays the victim's perspective in the realest possible way. It is based on a true story. When this happened to me, and I was weighing my options; the show came into my mind. I asked myself if I could go thru those things with the police and having my life turned upside down by an investigation. I ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:59 PM
4

I'm glad to hear my story got you to think about your current situation in order to protect yourself better. Someone like your neighbor, who you wouldn't normally be this friendly with, is now feeling a bit more comfortable with you. However, be careful. How much do you really know this person? Also, why is he going to your unit? Shouldn't he practice social distancing? He shouldn't have picked up your baseball bat. He touched it! You shouldn't be touching anyone's stuff right now! Be careful wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:40 PM
8

Oh wow, I had no idea. This guy knows where I live. He used to watch my dog for me! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Do you still live in the same place?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:55 AM
9

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better. At first, I tried to suppress what happened. I tried to think of it as a bad date. Within 72 hours, my suppressed feelings imploded internally. I was shaking. I had suicidal thoughts. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. My neighbor insisted for me to talk to someone. After my session with my therapist, I decided I had to let the poison out by speaking about what happened. It has helped me heal by being able to share the story. Every time I talk about it, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:52 AM
3

Thank you. I'm glad to hear this story is helping you in some ways. Please stay safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:40 AM
11

I'm so sad and sorry to hear this happened to you as well. Therapy is helping. I appreciate you saying it's not my fault. For the first 48 hours, I had a lot of self-loathing and bad thoughts about myself. After I spoke to my mom and therapist, they both said "it's not your fault". I felt a lot better. I was confused. I couldn't grasp that I didn't somehow contribute to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:40 AM
6

Thank you. I am fortunate that I have really good health insurance. I also have been seeing a therapist on a regular basis. I will keep the resources you provided.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:38 AM
5

I'm extremely sad and sorry to hear this happened to you. Know that I'm here for you as well *hugs*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:36 AM
4

Thank you so much <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:04 AM
3

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:00 AM
2

I'm extremely sorry this happened to you. It's hard to know what you'd actually do until it happens, unfortunately. Much love and peace to you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:00 AM
3

I'm so sorry to hear you experienced this. Unfortunately, when this happens, the victims don't get enough support. The experience of going thru a report and investigation is even more traumatizing than the assault itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:59 AM
10

THank you. I am so sorry you experienced something similar too. I am even sorrier that the police involvement was terrible. I hope you had a resolution. Much love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:57 AM
8

Thank you for this thoughtful response. I wholeheartedly agree with your POV. This is the one I am taking which explains why I am not going to the police.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:56 AM
6

Thank you. Have you seen the show Unbelievable on Netflix? It is a raw and real portrayal of rape victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:15 AM
3

Thank you for your kind words. You ladies really are such a good support group. I'm thankful for you all. I'm so sorry you had to experience something like this as well. How are you doing now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:14 AM
2

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:14 AM
6

No worries at all. Thank you <3 I do understand why you're upset. Something bizarre happened to my friend a few years ago where she went on a date with this man. When he was dropping her off at her house, while they were in the car saying goodbye (no kissing or touching), he pulled out his dick. She was speechless and ran inside the house. I was really upset with her for not reporting him for indecent exposure. Now, I understand why she just wanted to deal with happened on her own. It's hard to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:12 AM
9

Thank you. Your words are kind and much needed at this time <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:16 PM
10

Here's the thing. Before this happened to me, I believed that women should report any creeps to the police especially this situation. However, you do NOT understand a woman's POV unless you are her. You can assume you'd know exactly what to do in my situation. Never say never. Did I ever think to myself I wouldn't report a man who sexually assaulted me to the police? Never. Things are complicated. We live in a complicated time. I live in a city where the police has failed to follow-up on other n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:04 PM
7

That's a great idea! Better be safe than sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:01 PM
1

Ah ok, must be on mobile? I can't see any screenshot preview on my browser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:00 PM
6

Thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:59 PM
4

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:59 PM
3

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:59 PM
7

Thank you so much <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:45 PM
53

Thank you so much for this. I'm getting downvoted on my comments about not pressing charges. I appreciate you being able to see from my perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:43 PM
17

Thank you. I am getting downvoted on my comments regarding not pressing charges. It is rather strange why this is causing people to react negatively. It is my choice. The post is about warning women to be careful in this time. It is not to seek advice on if I should report him or not. The topic of sexual assault is extremely complicated. People don't know exactly what a victim goes thru because each case is different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:42 PM
16

Thank you for your kind words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:05 PM
8

Oh good lord! You don't live there anymore, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:04 PM
1

What screenshot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:03 PM
39

Also, to add, my action was to tell him I didn't consent and what he did was wrong. That is as far as I'm willing to involve. If he ever did this to another woman, the police has a text record of me telling him this to show repeated behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:26 PM
53

Thank you. It's been a week. I have talked this thru with my therapist. She also asked if I'm going to report him to the police. I have decided it's not something I am seeking for. I agree with you. He's a predator. He texted and profusely apologized. I told him he hurt me and I didn't consent. Then, I blocked him. I wanted him to know what happened was very wrong. I want to move on with my life. My therapist said something that was very helpful when I told her I'm dealing with this. She said 'y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:25 PM
12

I have considered this but I will not press charges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:22 PM
9

Thank you, you too <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:22 PM
17

Thank you. It's been a week already. I have talked this thru with my therapist and I am not pressing charges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:22 PM
22

That's good! Apparently, it's very easy to pick locks. There is even a subreddit about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:21 PM
20

Thank you. The extra lock is definitely a good idea. Buy pepper spray as well and take it with you on walks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:21 PM
10

Thank you, You too <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:20 PM
18

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 07:37 PM
41

It's okay. I don't need to use a throwaway account. Thank you for checking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 07:32 PM
5

Agreed!!!! See what he'll do when you reduce the amount of daily communication with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 02:10 AM
20

I have a few tips if you'd like to read them: Only talk to him for at most 20 minutes at a time on the phone or video chat. I typically don't stay out on dates that long so I think you should apply each remote interaction like a mini date. You just got out of an abusive relationship. I'm not fully understanding what you meant by 'he gave me the space to talk about my past and said he'd help me getting through it all'. He's NOT your therapist! Do not let him in. He could be digging for dirt and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:11 AM
2

She has not had the satisfaction of blocking and walking away abruptly. OP, help her! Once she sees the light, she'll never go back to writing those damn essays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 11:55 PM
13

wow, that was so awkward. Him: "love is respect" clueless!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 11:53 PM
2

Wow...I want off this rollercoaster. OP, what's your final response to him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 09:33 PM
2

You don't have to have Facebook or Instagram anymore to register for Tinder. I deleted my social media apps before I deleted my online dating apps. The latter I used my phone number or email to register.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:54 AM
4

Hahahahah seriously! I'm Asian and I'm sure none of my Asian guy friends would give a crap about what he was doing for the Asian males out there. Sounds like they're all his insecurities and him trying to live with them. Also, he was a student at Berkeley Law. It wasn't like he actually graduated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:49 PM
2

Hmmm it is strange that he's not on LinkedIn. You sure he gave you his real name? I don't have social media at all. People cannot find me outside of LinkedIn. In the past, in my social media accounts or dating apps, I have used a nickname as my last name for anonymity. If you've seen his driver's license, then I wouldn't be too worried. The way Google aka search engine optimization works is to yield relevant results when a search occurs. If he hasn't really been searched that often and has no so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:23 PM
5

I did feel weirdly manipulated by him too. Also, those women. If they'd just walked away, they could have saved themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:14 PM
4

Everything was just so messed up. Especially at the end of the story about his finger and his wife....This is definitely one article I wish I never read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:12 PM
1

I'm. speechless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:11 PM
4

No. Do not date right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:22 AM
8

stop thinking about yourself...this isn't a time to get your feelings hurt when people are dying and you assume you're safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:43 AM
3

I mean, it's not like there are zombies outside and he HAS to stay at your place for his own protection. Get your sanctuary back. How dare he speak to you and treat you like that in your own palace (because you're a queen)?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:30 AM
7

It's his schtick. Have you seen John Oliver's segment about Boris? The man purposely makes himself look silly for the camera in order to appear more relatable and like of clumsy to get people's sympathy. It's like how Trump plays to the middle America crowd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXyO_MC9g3k
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:25 AM
2

Report him to Tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:21 AM
1

Is that a prison wall?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:00 AM
3

Preach! Also, I can't even imagine being near anyone less than 6 feet away. I was watching a movie today, and this couple kissed. I cringed. I can't imagine kissing anyone at the moment. I am so scared of the virus. This pandemic has really changed my perspective. I need to heavily vet men going forward even when we've flattened the curve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:57 AM
1

NOPE NOPE NOPE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:34 AM
6

If you like the Snapchat filters, there is an app called Snow. It's Korean-based which means many filters that also are very good with photo editing (especially make-up). They have many many many funny filters as well. It's not a social media app. It's a fun filter/photo editing app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:32 AM
6

It really is! I used to have the app and found myself scrolling endlessly like Facebook. Now, I have to actually use my laptop which makes it a bit more intentional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:29 AM
5

TikTok is also very shady because it's Chinese-owned which means there is no privacy or data security. They also have been exposed recently for purposely suppressing posts from people who aren't skinny, rich or attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:29 AM
6

I purged all of my accounts around last December. I've never looked back. I only have Reddit and LinkedIn. It's very liberating. I thought I might be tempted to get back online because of the coronavirus situation, I actually don't miss these accounts at all. Strangely, my closest friends who know I'm not on social media have been texting me on a daily basis! It's really nice to hear from them and actually talking to them directly instead of watching their social media stories/posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:27 AM
16

His ex-wife's father bailed out his company also. I can't seem to find the article but Talulah Riley's dad bailed out Elon's business. I believe it's Telsa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:01 AM
5

Agreed! Block him. He'll text again. I guarantee it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 05:26 PM
2

Do you want to have more children? Or you're good with just the two? I have friends who do not want children. However, a few of them ended up with men who have children that are older from previous marriages. For these women, a few of the first things they'd discuss with these single dads include: do you want to have more kids? do you expect me to take on the caregiver role? If you want more kids, then do not date women who do not want children. If you are done with having kids, I think it'd be …
/r/askFDS18/03/20 08:16 PM
4

You are 100% correct. There will be others that are better. Much love <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 08:22 PM
9

I had a long term relationship with a HVM. About six months into our relationship, he used my laptop to check his fantasy league football scores. When I tried to open my yahoo mail account, I realized his email account opened up instead. It dawned on me that he forgot to log out of his fantasy league football account which uses his yahoo email account. We had a very open and honest relationship where I had his passwords to everything and vice versa. At first, I was going to log out and go about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 06:19 PM
6

Dating wise? Hmmm...I think my story might trump everyone's stories. Today, I found out my first love got convicted of murder and was sentenced to life in prison. So..yea... I've been crying a lot even though we broke up over 10 years ago. I am just in disbelief that someone I fell in love with is capable of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 06:17 AM
14

My friend and her husband got a puppy around the time she found out she was pregnant. They both wanted the baby to grow up with the puppy. That is insanely chaotic for me but to each their own. I told this guy I was dating at the time about my friend's decision to get the puppy, and I also mentioned how stressful that would make me. I clearly stated I'd never want a new puppy/adult dog while pregnant or having a newborn/infant. He was shocked. He could not believe I didn't see it as a beautiful …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:38 AM
28

Yes, I also would advocate for this. Get off social media. Focus on your life, work, and hobbies. When you meet someone, have a frank conversation about social media before you become exclusive. Social media seems to be a trigger for you. Therefore, vet carefully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:29 AM
3

WOW...nice guy symptoms....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:22 AM
3

Yes, multiple men. One really stuck out to me. We had been on and off for a few years. While he was dating someone else, we occasionally hung out in the same group of friends. One time, it was his birthday. I showed up and met his gf. Then, I hung out with the rest of our mutual friends after he and his gf left. A few hours later, he sent me long text messages about how he wanted me that night instead of his gf. I laughed and didn't respond. Fast forward a couple of years later, they broke up. W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:20 AM
10

The last time a guy texted me after 11PM, it was a really stupid message "How is your weekend going?" I saw it the next morning, I texted back and said, "Interesting your text came really late last night. I'm not into that". Never heard from him again. HAHAHAHA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:16 PM
6

My grandma, a few years ago, told me I don't need a husband after my entire family scorned me for not being married as I am in my 30s. She said 'look at me, I don't have a husband, I'm happy, look at your aunt, her husband is terrible. Stay single. Live your life. Be happy.' The older ladies know! After her comment, no one gripes about my love life or lack thereof anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:11 PM
9

Yes yes yes! They always wonder what they did wrong. I'm like 'your whole existence is wrong'. Just kidding. You make a great point. Once you've made up your mind, leave. Don't linger or wait for a 'what if'. In the rare cases where I actually give feedback, I am very direct and then block. I also don't do the 'it was great to meet you and best of luck' stuff. Not necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:06 PM
2

You did the right thing. I deleted all of my apps recently. It was weird at first. Now, I really enjoy the peace. I will probably sound like a broken record because everyone in this subreddit will tell you the same thing I'm going to say: focus on yourself and do the things you enjoy. It is better to meet men this way. Be patient. It's not the quantity, it's the quality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:48 PM
7

I've worked with doctors a lot in the past. Not in hospital settings but smaller clinics. 95% are narcissists with social ineptitude. They hit on many of the female staff members. If a doctor has a 'go-to' nurse, chances are they have something else going on whether on an emotional or physical level. There is this beautiful office manager who has two kids that I used to work with. She is a very straight-shooter and respectable person. However, she had to bear the brunt of many emotional challeng…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:43 PM
4

Oh god, don't end up in my dating pool, you douche. This is the problem with Silicon Valley. You get dudes that get these high paying jobs without the minimal effort of working on themselves and they think they deserve the world because they have more money now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:35 PM
2

Wow, I am sorry you had to experience that. Good for you for leaving! Also, really sad about the dog :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:55 PM
1

Have you tried it? I have been wondering about these toys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:21 PM
2

That's great! This is my thought exactly. It is an investment of good self-care
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:20 PM
8

I understand. This is a safe space for women. I was thinking to approach this from an educational perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:46 AM
5

I'm interested! I don't know anything about toys and I believe it's helpful to provide educational perspectives into them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:45 AM
10

Yea, me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:48 PM
5

I agree wholeheartedly. Also, have sympathy for their exes. Last year, I dated this guy who weirdly talked about his ex a lot. It was always a tone of superiority whenever he talked about her as if she wasn't good enough for him. I knew it was a red flag. My therapist said to collect as much information as possible and that would include his ex. Every story he told me about them, he came out as the asshole EVERY SINGLE TIME. She wanted to go hiking. He wanted to get food beforehand and then devo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:17 PM
2

You go girl!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:11 PM
1

I guess I have a very different experience with my guy friends who are single. They date but they are not destructive and they don't hurry to find love because of most of them are fulfilled with their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 08:00 PM
1

I hear you. The point I was trying to make is about HVM. For LVM, they take their loneliness and it manifests into those destruction behaviors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:43 PM
1

That's very interesting! Did he make a lot of money from it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:42 PM
2

Yea, this! That's why when I connected with the online couple, I made sure they were both in on it. I also connected with these other 'couples' online, but I blocked those accounts as soon as I didn't see any participation from the gf or wife because the females had no idea their men were doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:40 PM
5

Good for you for not giving in to your ex husband. I honestly do not understand why men like the anal thing. That's where things exit! One time, I asked a guy friend why that's so appealing for men, he said it's the novelty of it. It's the fact that he could forever hold on to the memory of being able to put in a girl's butt and she let him. It made me sick to my stomach to hear that reason. Also, he said he'd get bragging rights with his bros.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:37 PM
5

He could be closeted. The guy in my story, he is all kind of messed up. At one point, he told me he kissed a man and he said 'I don't think I'm gay, but..' I was like 'I can't with this. You have issues'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:30 PM
3

Oooh so he has the cuckold fetish. Gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:29 PM
4

He could be lying to you. The guy in my story said he had a threesome with another dude. I don't actually believe him. I think he made that up to make me feel more comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:29 PM
4

Hahah that's brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:28 PM
3

Wow...that's beyond messed up. I hope you got out of that whole thing. Those people sound toxic af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:39 AM
-4

Wait, wait, wait. This is too meek of a statement. I understand your frustration. However, I do not think it's wise to rant and put blame on porn or patriarchy. That's the easy path. This subreddit is meant to provide strategies to avoid the men who use porn or the patriarchy to treat women poorly, but we rise above it. We rise above the blaming game because we are not here to fix these men. We are here to find men who hold the same value as us. If you are just saying this, you are not that diff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:34 AM
12

Oh my god! Did you break up after that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:18 AM
6

Oh no, I am so sorry :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:17 AM
11

It was really one of the worst technologies out there. He coded a software that compresses videos on mobile from a very early technology and phone apps age. You know those annoying videos playing as ads when you play free games? Or watching videos to unlock certain loot packages on mobile games? He created the technology to play those videos in high quality and uncorrupted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:17 AM
11

I honestly think it was the porn that made him have ED. There is a very very low chance of ED being natural that early in age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:14 AM
6

That's disgusting! Please don't feel ashamed. It happens to the best of us because our innate feeling is to be trusting of people until they proved us otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:14 AM
7

Hahah that would have been amazing. Blood would have dripped out of his ear if that was the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:13 AM
23

Because men are dumb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:35 PM
9

WOW! 19? I'm sorry you had to experience that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:34 PM
12

That is so degrading. I'm so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:33 PM
9

Double penetration: one in the vagina and one in the butt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:31 PM
22

Well, also if you're okay with getting DP'ed because apparently that's a thing for men who would agree to having threesomes with another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:09 PM
42

When you were kissing? OMG. The audacity! Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:09 PM
52

Yes! You are so right! I purposely said that to be respectful of their relationship even though it was true. He did NOT see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:50 PM
12

This analogy really got me! I could not imagine anyone doing that to a dog especially MY dog. OMG, why haven't I thought of this before? Why did I think it was okay for me to take these little breadcrumbs?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:43 PM
74

Yes! This guy was the same! He was like 'I'm not attracted to men so why would I sleep with one'. Oh yea? So you just assumed that I am attracted to women??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:25 PM
1

You did the right thing. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:08 AM
4

THis! My friend met this guy at work and he told her he had a girlfriend. He was in a long-distance relationship. My friend lives in a different state than him. They kept talking even though he has a girlfriend. I never approved of him and advised her to leave him alone. I tried letting her know by continuing talking to him, he was emotionally cheating on his girlfriend with her and I couldn't believe how she thought that was okay. But she has the pickmesha mentality of 'he's unhappy with her bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:58 AM
17

A guy waited 2 years to have sex with me and still was an asshole....so...I don't know, maybe he's the exception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:30 AM
1

Psychopath - Charlotte Lawrence & Nina Nesbitt Glad He's Gone - Tove Lo Peace - Alison Wonderland Mine - Phoebe Ryan Various Storms & Saints - Florence + The Machine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:07 AM
1

In terms of dating, I only offer to split if I know for sure I would not go on another date with the guy again and he seems to be annoying. 95% of the time, they say no to my offer. The rare few who said yes, I bolted out of there. In relationships, I offer to pay for little stuff like coffee, ice cream, etc. Most of the time, my long term boyfriends did not want me to pay for ANYTHING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 12:52 AM
4

This is so true. I wish I knew this when I was in my 20s. The pain and heartache I went through would have lessened a bit knowing it wasn't always me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:18 PM
5

Ugh, that is the worst when they lead you on and on. You know, this tells me these men don't have empathy. Someone in another comment in this thread mentioned that there is a level of sociopathy in order to be doing and saying these things without any actual feelings. I totally agree with that. And also, since when have we had so many sociopathic men? Or are they exposed now because of OLD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:42 PM
5

It's mind-boggling. I literally cannot with men anymore. I dated a guy who waited for a month and a half to sleep with me. He also took me out on fancy dates and cooked for me on our 4th date. He did basically everything right. After we slept together, he mentioned something about sleeping with people and how to him it didn't matter how long he should wait to have sex. He said "I guess I'm slutty? Eh" I felt so dirty and horrible at that moment. Needless to say, he waited a week to text me after…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:52 PM
7

The biggest tip I have to give is to check someone's Sent folder. People don't remember to delete things out of this folder. Their inbox means jackshit. I found out an ex of mine paid for sex by trolling an online forum and messaged her. He deleted all the responses he got in his inbox. Everything else was in the Sent folder. When I confronted him, he was dumbfounded and never thought to ever look at his Sent folder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:42 AM
4

One of my closest friends told me I could send these paragraphs to her whenever the needs arise. It has really helped me. There have been multiple times where I'd get the urge to send them. Then, I'd open my phone to search for her name instead. As I am searching for her name, the need for writing these paragraphs lessens. As I finally pull up her name, I start to feel silly. I go to the text box and start to write, then, I feel stupid. So, I click to select all and delete it. Until this day, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:34 AM
11

THIS! Exactly this! I was feeling very neutral about this man. I was planning on not sharing anything about myself personally to keep up a wall, but he kept asking questions. Then, his attentiveness and persistence just felt at odds with what we were doing. I got confused and didn't like it at all. I wanted to feel like an empty shell to make it easier emotionally. But you are so right. That way isn't good either. High five to both of us :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:53 AM
22

Thank you for reading! I know it was a long post, but it felt cathartic to be able to process and share with you gals. It's unbelievable how that man would do those things for you and couldn't commit. What was a commitment to him? I agree with you. They do these things not just to get our guards down but they are lonely and they need love as well. However, they can't shake the feeling of whatever it is they feel to not being able to emotionally settle down. To me, this is exhausting. I don't kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:49 AM
17

I hear that! However, I think men can do that without flinching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:42 AM
9

The older I get, the more I see how men and women are just vastly different to be put on the same damn planet. Ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:42 AM
21

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It was strange to me that he was exhibiting behaviors like someone would when they're dating. I know he didn't catch feelings, but he doesn't know what he wants or needs. He said "I'm not like other men on Tinder". Well, if you were, you'd at least just act like a fuckboy and do all of us women a favor by not confusing us. Yes, you're right. I do like those earrings, but they're replaceable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:44 AM
2

I agree! I deleted my dating apps but downloaded Tinder recently to find a FWB. I got very lucky because the first one I met after time away from using dating apps turns out to be a great FWB. He asked what I was looking for and told me he was open to casual or serious dating. I said just FWB. We met and hit off really well physically. He's very respectful. Super hot. He's also very easy going. We're having a great time and I rarely ever think about him outside of our sexual interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:55 PM
3

Hhaha this reminds me of that DJ Khaled meme. Congratulations, you just played yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:42 PM
2

Wait, why should I respect him for keeping me at a distance? Does this mean I should leave and find another or wait for him? I guess the quote is a bit ambiguous to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:41 PM
2

I'm so glad to hear!! What a queen you are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:40 PM
83

Good for you. I laughed out loud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:49 PM
1

I also would recommend this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/ Got me through some tough times after breakups.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:34 PM
27

I wouldn't say the truth hurts. It no longer hurts me. It is matter-of-fact. Women have fought for our rights to vote, to have education, to fight sexism, to fight sexual harassment, to have income equality, to have the rights to control our fertility and more. We've leveled the fuck up because you know...patriarchal oppression. We have the outcomes of these rights being practiced and enacted by women every day. Men have to catch up. So, for me, the truth sets me free. It no longer hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:32 PM
2

You're welcome. It is psychologist-approved and recommended. My doctor advocates for this as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:23 PM
11

Yes! And they are heavily in debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 09:09 PM
1

Sadly, I can attest to this as well. I just discovered this song, hit too close to home with OLD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkOTPyzWTQE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:17 AM
7

It takes about 6-8 weeks for someone to begin to show who they really are. This is when people start to become somewhat comfortable and you can see patterns in their behaviors. We advocate to not having an emotional attachment or sexual relationship until you have all the information you need to assess if the man is an HVM. For me, it's not just waiting for sex. It's waiting to see the real personality emerging. If a man loses interest because he doesn't get sex right away, he's not a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:12 AM
6

Level up girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:58 AM
3

Oh, I have the same question. I found a new song.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:57 AM
5

The store just ran out of red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:49 AM
5

I have a few things to say about this. He's had 20 years more experiences than the guys your age (28). His dick is gross af. He's only that good because he's had A LOT of practice. Trust me! Think about that fact next time your mind wanders towards him. Take your number of partners and multiple probably by 10. Don't judge men your age or even 10 years older (38) on the same scale as this guy who is old af. Judge the men you date based on their age range. Be patient. Don't expect guys to know wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 09:33 AM
6

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 09:26 AM
10

Good luck with ending things. After you're done with the convo, block him everywhere. This is a disaster. It will only get worse the more time you spend on it. You're making the right choice. He is emotionally unstable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 01:31 AM
3

Did his ex hack his account?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 10:05 PM
14

Your assumptions are based on physical attractiveness. I don't agree with you because your examples are of celebrities and people you don't have direct contact. You're also making the assumption that the women listed are HVW. Do you see this being the case with your close friends? FDS doesn't focus on physical attractiveness like you're describing. Surely, the man should take good care of himself. However, there are more than that to make a man HVM. Same thing applies with the women. Beyonce is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 10:04 PM
8

I'm about the same height as you. After dating men of various heights, my theory is this: men over 5'10" don't suffer from the Napoleon complex. Anything less than 5'10", higher chances of dealing with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 10:01 PM
2

Ugh, this reminds me of a LVM I dated last year. One time, I cooked in his kitchen for us. He doesn't cook at all and we usually always went out to eat. This time, I wanted to make a homecooked meal. As soon as I finished cooking the appetizer, he said "I'm sorry, I'm really hungry. Can I eat first?". He then proceeded to eat without hearing my answer. The audacity! That was the first and only time I ever cooked for us. So rude. I'd have to say, he's the only one who has ever done that. The 99.9…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 09:59 PM
6

Yes! This 1000% My motto in life now is "Only keep what nurtures or grows me". Everything else? Bye, Felicia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 09:54 PM
7

Well, her comments aren't constructive. They're more reactionary for shock value. In a comment about the ring, she said "I personally don't care how much the ring cost". Okay, well, the girl who posted about her ring, she personally cares about how much her ring costs. So, agree to disagree. Why hate on someone who is expressing their opinions without having an actual opposing view with back up arguments other than 'I don't agree with your opinion'? Girl, we'll still be here to support you when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 09:49 PM
12

They do not ask about the father. At that point, it's about the woman and fetus. The healthcare providers will give you multiple chances to think about the procedure if they sense you're having doubts. If you're at a facility where their main concern is your well-being (which it should always be 100%), they will take every measure to help you deal with it. They will not guilt-trip you. They will not shame you. They will solely focus on helping you get through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:06 PM
3

Makes sense. Chin up, girl. There will be others :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:01 PM
2

I think you will realize how much unnecessary noise was in your life after a little time has passed. At first, I thought it was boredom, then I realized it is peace. Channel the time you're getting back for yourself as something to be cherished.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:00 PM
11

you did the right thing. If you let it slide this time, he will be late to EVERYTHING! I don't wait. If we made plans ahead of time and they don't text on the day of within a certain window, I don't show up to the date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 05:43 AM
6

The fact that your screenname has 'beautyqueen' in it along with how many times you've mentioned you're beautiful and pretty, I'd have to say you seem like a LVW. If you want to attract and keep a HVM, you need to work on yourself beyond this 'woe is me' BS especially about your looks. Also, you're totally hating on other people like 'some girls may come off easier than others'. You obviously think you're better than other women. Why are you here asking for our help? Another thing, you're hating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 05:37 AM
4

It took me years working with a psychologist to accept and practice this way of thinking. When she first introduced it to me, I was quite upset. I felt like she wasn't listening to me. Then, I realized she was right. The only thing I can truly control is how I react to people's actions and words. 'It' happens so often because of the convenience of OLD and social media platforms where LV people have access to other people at an incredible speed. They treat people as disposable. This is why the th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 05:21 AM
10

I don't recall ever seeing a post about gay men in this subreddit and I frequent on a daily basis for a few months now. Sounds like a pretender to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:24 AM
5

I think for me, personally, a question I'd ask myself in this situation is 'Do I need to know why?' I'm of the belief that it's not possible to analyze why people do things. That's for healthcare providers to find out. When I stopped asking why people behave the way they do and just observe their actions, I feel less anxious and bothered. Someone can say how they feel or what they think, however, it does not mean to always have intentions or consequences. Observe. Decide. Don't spend your energy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:21 AM
3

I agree with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:16 AM
5

Yes, this! I never liked her. I don't know why. I don't read anything about her to know. However, the first time I saw their picture together, she didn't sit well with me. People are praising her in this subreddit. I am not in that camp. I do NOT see this relationship going well or lasting a long time. Shit will go down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:15 AM
15

Me! I deleted all of my apps during the holidays. It was tough at first because I spent the holidays alone. The first week, I was very tempted to go back to the apps. I pushed through. The week after, it got better. Now, it's been nearly a month and I do not miss the apps at all. The peacefulness I got from this was anticipated but I'm shocked at how amazing I feel. I love every moment of it. I have really bad anxiety when it comes to dating. Therefore, removing OLD apps also helped to reduce my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:12 AM
2

I know why. It's because he's really really good looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 11:45 PM
1

I am not actively dating or using OLD anymore. The peace that I've gotten from this is life changing :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 06:56 PM
9

Oh yea, for sure. I cannot remember what we were talking about, but it had something to do with physical/sexual stuff. And he was like 'well, we haven't gotten to that part of it yet'. The woman was like 'hmmmm'. She had the look of 'help' in her eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:17 PM
5

It's very true. Men have had everything given to them by society. Women have to fight for almost everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:16 PM
9

I agree. Also, even if the woman offers, the guy should decline. I sometimes offer to split the bill to see what kind of man he is. The HVM always says no even if it's a small bill. This has nothing to do with money, but alas the red pill guys can't see past that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:15 PM
7

Agreed. I know that's why she felt compelled to pay and split the rounds of drinks with him. She obviously was not fine with that given her comment about their possible second date only if he paid for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:13 PM
5

OMG I've thought about the same thing. I was trying to think of a way for me to tell her about FDS, but she didn't seem like she'd use Reddit. We were in London and she looks very posh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:12 PM
2

Get a pet. Seriously. My dog saved my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:47 AM
4

You're not evil. You're the victim. You are so brave. You will get through this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:43 AM
19

This solitude is peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:41 AM
3

Always, girl! We're here for you! Level up and let those zeros go :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:32 PM
3

It's a work in progress. I'm so glad to hear about your progress. Keep it up! Yes, I think that's how men are. They say what they think we want to hear just to get through the moment. I believe most of them would then decide later on to follow through or not. This is why it's so frustrating because women are wired very differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:28 PM
5

That's the spirit! I once met this guy because he said didn't want to plan a full on weekend date until he knows he can invest. I'm pretty sure he used the term ROI. Gosh, why did I even agree to go out with him? So, we met up for a quick drink. The WHOLE time, he acted like he was super into me. He said he couldn't wait to plan the date. This was on a Thursday and originally we were supposed to have our 'weekend' date that Saturday. After two drinks and like less than 2 hours later, he asked me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:15 PM
18

You got this! Don't feel down on yourself. OLD sucks!!!! Guys are better at pretending to have a great time and then shaking it off like they've never met you. This has happened to ALL of us! It's wise to go into these dates without any emotions. You are vetting them. You are meant to have fun on your first date. You know why? Because it's not that difficult to have a good time with just anyone. However, do not confuse the fun with feelings. I had to retrain my thought process when I go on dates…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:05 PM
23

7hrs?! Man, I'd be too sick of the guy after that long of a first date to ever see him again even if we bonded quickly. Think of it like eating cotton candy. If you had the whole vat of cotton candy (the machine that makes the candy), after like 10 bites, would you want more? Or would you rather walk away and come back later for more bites? I keep my dates at most may be 3 hours long on a first date if we've been talking a lot and they planned a nice dinner and drinks beforehand. Otherwise, 90 m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 09:54 PM
9

Heck yes! Block block block. Silence is golden. You don't have to explain anything to them! Also, I stopped saying nice things when something ends. I don't say 'well, it was nice meeting you, I enjoyed spending time with you'. Nope nope nope. Just left. They don't deserve my politeness and niceties. I also don't say 'good luck out there' when things don't work out. I just honestly do not care once it's over in my mind. Leave them wondering but not on purpose. The purpose is for me to stop giving…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 12:13 PM
4

Woot woot, level up, girl! Keep going!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 12:09 PM
6

About five years ago, I hooked up with someone who worked on a project with me. When we hooked up, neither one of us worked at the same company anymore. It was awful. He couldn't last more than 5 minutes and his dog watched us the whole time. His room was a mess. His bathroom was disgusting. His roommates were gross. He was 31. After I left, he texted me telling me how he had a nice time. He also had a date with a girl from OLD the night before which he told me he'd continue seeing her. I didn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:36 PM
3

That's excellent news! Congrats!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:25 PM
6

This guy once tried very hard to get me to have threesomes with him and girls he already knew. I played along as if I'd consider it. Then, I told him no. He got very mad and pouted like a little bitch, so I told him I'd think about it again. Then, I decided to have a little fun. I convinced him to agree to attend a sex party in LA. These sex parties are very expensive. The one I wanted to go to was $5000 per entrance. You also have to send your photos to them to get approval. I told him if he wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:20 PM
4

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:07 PM
2

So gross! See, this backs up my point that men are lazy and usually use just the same pics over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:22 AM
1

Hahah thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:21 AM
4

If you take a screenshot and crop, the metadata does not display. So, in theory, it could work as a 'new' pic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:21 AM
2

hahahaha this is really funny and relatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:20 AM
8

I love this! Thank you for sharing! My favorite lines are "To start to correct everything that stems from this ridiculous fear of being alone, we should from a young age learn that being alone never means there is something wrong with us, just that we are being appropriately patient, until what truly satisfies us shows up (if it ever does). WE HAVE A CHOICE. WE ARE NOT BEING PUNISHED" Honestly, this is such a comforting thought. Thanks again for sharing this. I've always thought I'm being punish…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 04:29 AM
3

I messaged her and invited her to our subreddit. She needs to see the light. OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 04:14 AM
2

Do you still have the hat? This reminds me of another post where someone had an epiphany when her LVM got a bear from a gas station. She kept it as a reminder to never settle. I can't remember all the details from her post exactly, but as women, we've been conditioned by society to accept and show appreciation for these small-ass-below-minimum gestures. Otherwise, we're ungrateful. Fuck that. You deserve a hat made of diamonds!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 04:10 AM
9

OMG are you me?! I am doing the exact same thing! I deleted OLD a few weeks ago and blocked everyone. It was very 'boring' at first, but then I realized I was used to meaningless chatter and noise. It's been 3 weeks, and I'm finally getting used to it. When did you start your journey?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:59 AM
7

Oh yes, I have one. It seemed so perfect. A few years ago, I was in LA and my friend opened a dining club. It was pretty fancy and the space was gorgeous. The idea was to host dinner parties and get people to join their membership. The members would be able to use the space anytime and have keys to the facility. You can even store your food and liquor there. Basically like a WeWork but for foodies and drinkers. Being that this is LA, everyone invited their gorgeous friends. I met this guy one ni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 03:05 AM
15

Great advice! If someone doesn't like you're being outspoken and open about your preferences, don't waste time on them. This applies to EVERYTHING in life. I apply this to work and family. When people hear the stories I tell about my work and family life, they are shocked because they think I'm too forward. I disagree. My openness and straightforwardness have gotten me very far in life. Though I'm not always tactful, I'm learning how to be better at that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 02:45 AM
1

Depends. Are you talking to him on the app or via text? What's your rule with sharing your phone number? For me, I don't like chatting on the apps that long. So, if I'm interested, when they ask for my number, I'll give it to them. Typically, if we don't have a lot to talk about on the app after 2 days, I unmatch them. If the ones that have engaging conversations after 2 days, I'll give them 1-2 days to ask for my number. Usually, by this point, some kind of preliminary discussion of planning a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:23 PM
11

OMG something similar happened to me! Except the guy didn't pull out a badge. Towards the end of our dinner date, he said "do you have any secrets? like are you married or do you have kids?" I was like "no, do you have secrets?" He said "i'm actually in the FBI". And then showed me a pic of him in a SWAT jacket. I'm thinking it must be a costume hahahah Anyhow, I was really weirded out by it because he said things along the lines of "I can't tell people I date because it might jeopardize their s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:16 PM
9

Too many bad/weird/awkward dates but I'll leave two recent ones: Best date with a fake HVM who later on became a LVM because he couldn't push forward to more, but it's still one of the best dates I've had. He came over on our 4th date to make dinner for me. He made scallop risotto. He brought wine and dessert. I gave him my apron and he wore it the whole time. It was the cutest thing. Also teased him that he would have to rent my cooking tools with kisses. That was fun flirting for us. "Oh, you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:13 PM
109

This is so true. I'm starting to sound like the stereotypical old and bitter woman to my younger girlfriends. However, I refuse to stay silent. They need to see the damn light.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 07:05 PM
2

Happy birthday! Continue to level up, girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 07:00 PM
1

Yes, please be careful with using POF and meeting people off there. I used to volunteer with an organization specializing in sex trafficking. We met with a few detectives one time to discuss how they go undercover. They told us POF is a breeding ground for sex trafficking. That's why they have many underage fake profiles to bait and arrest people. Since then, I have stayed as far away as POF as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:55 PM
2

Babe, you have to see that for yourself. You are the prize for yourself. FDS isn't about having a certain look in order to use these strategies. These strategies help to better yourself and to weed out low value men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:52 PM
3

This! It's also disappearing https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/12/men-lose-y-chromosomes-cells-they-age/603013/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:36 PM
2

That's unfortunate for him, but also good for you to realize it's not your problem to fix!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:33 PM
3

Level up, queen!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:32 PM
8

Thank you. I'm saving this to remind myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:30 PM
25

Seriously, girls. Read this. Then, read it again. It's 1000% true. My male coworker's wife is BEAUTIFUL and successful and amazing overall! I jokingly asked him the other day how he managed to land her. He's very average looking. He said "I honestly ask myself that all the time! I asked her why she chose me and she said because I was the most persistent suitor. And man, I was. When I met her, I knew I'd never let her get away."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 06:52 PM
5

what a dumbass! This is the problem with men. When they ask you what you're looking for, they really think your answers would mean you want that with them. "I want to have kids within the next 3 years". Men hear "I want to have kids with YOU within the next 3 years". Loser, hell no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 06:41 PM
5

RIGHT BACK AT YA!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 06:39 PM
1

So basic, it hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 01:04 AM
9

I legit laughed out loud. Thank you for this today :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 09:25 PM
14

Yes! My friends (girls and guys) think I block guys too quickly, and they think it's extreme. I beg to differ. I block for my sanity and to filter out noise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 09:23 PM
6

Give it time. I usually wait until 2 months to decide if he's worth my time. I've dated guys who did all of the things you listed. They became duds after 1.5 months in. GOOD LUCK! I hope this is who he actually is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 07:11 AM
3

I also had a guy called me 'turkey'. I don't know why. I even asked him, he said he liked it. I asked him to use a different word and he didn't. He couldn't even accommodate 1 simply ask. I hate the word 'turkey' now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:57 AM
7

I think it's sweet after you're exclusive. If it's early on, it's a red flag because they don't want to mess up names. I have guy friends who would say 'baby' because they had many girls and they didn't want to piss them off by getting the name wrong. These guys have grown up since. I also worked with this CEO as part of a very small company. He'd call everyone 'sweetheart', and people thought he was sooo sweet. He told me once: 'I don't remember most of my employees, so I just call them sweethe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:56 AM
3

Simply put, yes. Literally, billions of people. The more you value up, the better the man you'll meet. I guarantee this. You do need to practice patience though because they are gems and hard to find. When I was your age, I was in the EXACT situation. I met him when I was 22 and he was 27. He was perfect in every way to be my husband/baby daddy. I just wasn't in love with him anymore as I matured. It was a hard decision to break up. My family was more devastated than I was when I broke up with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:48 AM
6

I'd recommend deleting OLD. You're too young to be dragged into these low value men's bullshit. Focus on your studies. OLD for guys your age sucks. They have NOTHING to offer you. They just want to get their dick wet. Meet genuine people from your interest groups/internships/major. Be safe also!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:47 AM
7

You're not asking for too much. Remember, if he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wants to see you, he will. Stay a queen. Get rid of this loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:46 AM
10

I agree. Typically, in an exclusive relationship, it takes about six months at most to give passcodes to each other. Usually, in my experience, it's a pretty casual thing. Like, "oh hey, I'm driving, can you respond to so and so's message? My password is 1234". And that's how you have each other's stuff. It shouldn't be a serious conversation because if it gets to that, someone is hiding something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:43 AM
5

I have made a final final final decision to stay away from OLD. I've been doing it for a long time. I have never gotten a serious relationship from it. All of my meaningful relationships have come from meeting the guy in person and grow from there. I was having FOMO that's why I kept using OLD. They are just trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:39 AM
3

Have you been diagnosed with depression? If so, speak to your doctor and get a good therapist (I'd recommend a psychologist over a counselor). If not officially diagnosed, please see a doctor first. I had a relationship that ended five years ago. Two months after, I was suicidal. I had to get serious help. It took me years to recover but it wasn't just him. It was other relationships and other personal stuff. Two things that work for me: medications and cognitive behavior therapy. It depends on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:36 AM
4

HA! Yes, Ukrainian women want to marry foreign men so they can stay in Ukraine.....NOT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:22 AM
3

Based on an interview he did, this is what he said which is so true to his character in the movie “You come home at 3 in the morning and you climb into bed and the other person’s half asleep — you feel…Wrecked and lonely and you don’t even know if you got [the best footage]…” he had told ET Canada. “The thing you want more than anything is for someone to just take care of you because shooting a movie is so much.” https://pagesix.com/2020/01/04/marriage-story-director-noah-baumbach-reflects-on-hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:20 AM
5

I haven't seen the movie because I refuse to watch it after I learned about the directors. Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig directed it together. Apparently, it mirrors basically Noah's last marriage. https://pagesix.com/2020/01/04/marriage-story-director-noah-baumbach-reflects-on-his-own-relationships/ Greta and Noah have vehemently denied Greta as a reason for his divorce from his first wife. I call BS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:17 AM
2

Wait, what? I've been on this sub for a month now. Where are the instructions to get guys to pay for my meals? L fucking O L We don't do that here. We discuss standards but never have I read a post about how to manipulate men into doing things and paying things for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:04 AM
6

Yes! This comment is 110%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:37 AM
2

I don't think your loneliness is imaginary. People need touch. People need comfort. I'd recommend getting a pet, honestly. I am really happy with my life, work, and everything else. I am single and I have a dog. She makes my life 1100% better in many ways. My mind definitely wanders like yours about the past and exes, but those are passerby thoughts. I focus on my dog because I want to have kids but I don't yet. I think women tend to want to be nurturing. For me, having a dog really curb this 'i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:34 AM
18

Yes, that's the attitude. Also, he's selling you his 40-year-old sperm. Your 30-year-old eggs are probably like...meh....you know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:22 AM
25

Wait, can I offer the other side of the coin? I have seen many relationships go belly up after a quick engagement as well. Just because they got engaged this quickly, I do not think it's always going to last. I had a guy friend who was pretty much a manwhore, and then he met this girl. He said after the third date, he knew she was the one. They got engaged in less than six months. A year later, they had a baby. Six months after that, they got divorced and he got a new girlfriend. Note, I said I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:15 PM
15

Totally! This can be referenced to many facets of a woman: -speaking volume -laughing volume/style -sexual discoveries -intelligence -having opinions There are unfathomable ways someone can make you feel small for just being you. The point is that don't water yourself down even if it seems minor especially in the beginning. Guess what? If you put up with it, they will find other things that are wrong and make you feel small. Also, I hate when people say 'you're too smart for your own good'. Oh y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:08 PM
1

Oh gosh, yes, please avoid him! RUN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:52 AM
3

I was dating this guy once. I saw his passport. I told him it's 3 years older than he told me. I was 26 and he told me he was 37. Even when the passport was right in front of me, he still said 'it's wrong, I'm 37'. God, I was so stupid. I knew he lied but shrugged it off at the time. Later on, he turned out to be even worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:49 AM
15

This entire list is very helpful! I wanted to add one thing to the number 1 on this list "Accept that some people have no conscience" This is extremely true and hard to grasp for most of us. I've asked my therapist many times about this. She said some people are just broken and there is nothing any of us could do about it. Even they cannot fix themselves. This typically stems from childhood trauma or in very rare cases, they were born this way. Another thing to go along with this rule is never, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:56 PM
2

I've seen this sign at other restaurants/bars. I believe the Angel Shot is ubiquitous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:43 PM
3

Girl, I think you know what you need to do. Listen to your instincts. Don't ignore her. A few things you said that caught my eye: he has stated that he can’t give me what I need -- Read this post, he is essentially saying you deserve better. Believe him and yourself. Move on. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ehmkya/when_he_says_you_deserve_better_than_me_believe/ And these super good times make me feel like there’s actually potential for it to be like that all the time, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:11 AM
7

I don't tell them right away because I am still vetting them in the beginning. I don't know if they're even worth my time yet, therefore, I don't see the need to tell them what I am looking for. Men perceive what women want as something we'd want specifically with them. There is that misconception. Like, if you say 'I want kids within the next 3 years', they'll hear it as 'I want kids WITH YOU within the next 3 years'. Oh, please, I don't even know if I want your dick in me, what makes you think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:05 AM
5

Yes, I agree with this. Keep the SAME energy. Think of Amal Alamuddin who married George Clooney. She continues being her amazing self because George can't get enough of it. This interview with her is really a great read. I especially love these lines: https://www.vogue.com/article/amal-clooney-vogue-cover-may-issue-2018 George was very careful to ensure that ‘Mama’ was the first word. “What distinguishes a really great barrister in international-law practice is creativity,” explains Geoffrey Ro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 11:59 PM
3

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. You are brave and strong. Please take good care of yourself and stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 11:38 PM
2

I agree with this comment 100%. Also, please be careful. Don't walk to your car alone at night or walk the corridors alone either. Because he's a janitor, he knows the ins and outs of the premise very well. This is a tough situation because I feel like it might not be 100% safe for you to tell him off. Have you talked to your coordinator? Perhaps, in my opinion, if your coordinator tells him to not bother any of the volunteers, it would not give him an idea that it came from your report. This wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 10:59 PM
3

You did well! In the past, I've had guys asked me out who said 'let's get drinks and if you're not into that, we can get tea!' I'm American. Tea isn't a thing here, but it showed that he's willing to respect whatever I'm into because he wanted to spend time with me. Therefore, this guy, who suddenly doesn't know what else to plan because you don't drink, is a low effort guy. Don't end up planning the date if he's out of ideas now. Just let him keep talking. And looks like he's already giving up.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 10:52 PM
3

Good for you!!! You got this! We're all here if you get lonely and need to talk. It'll get hard but then it'll get a lot better. Keep journaling as you're going through this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 10:42 PM
1

Nope. Block and move on. LVM. Don't give him any more attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 10:32 PM
4

Absolutely. When I was 22, I dated a man who was 27. He never had a serious relationship before we met. I inquired reasons for a while until I felt comfortable with the answers and decided to be in a relationship with him. He grew up very religious and wanted to 'save himself for marriage'. Therefore, he didn't date much in middle school or high school. By the time he went to college, he realized he didn't trust the church anymore and decided to be agnostic. This is pretty typical when people be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:19 PM
7

The ones who write really long stuff publicly are typically narcissistic. They want the world to SEE and KNOW how amazing they are for declaring love and adoration. I know this because I've dated a few of these guys. They'd get very upset if I didn't post something similar because they assumed if I didn't, it was because I didn't care. I would not say these guys are HVM. As for me, I don't like social media. I never did. I'd write cards and long emails to my SO about my feelings. I don't do it p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:09 PM
2

Nope. A negative for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:03 PM
3

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* sending you virtual hugs oh honey, you DESERVE love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve love. You deserved to be loved. I know it gets hard sometimes. I certainly felt that a little bit yesterday. Whenever my mind wanders there, I'd stop and ask myself a few things: Have I eaten? Have I had coffee? Have I showered? Have I taken a deep breath? Is the weather dreary today? This thought is a passerby thought. Do not feed it. It's a troll. If you've answered no to any of the q…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:00 PM
6

Age like a fine wine, girl! We all do. Another thing to look forward to is that after you turn 30, it gets even better mentally. I was just like you. I was so anxious about turning 30. I almost had a meltdown. Then, I picked myself back up. I booked a trip across the world to see my friends and to stay at one of the most beautiful hotels, in my opinion, in the world. It was an amazing trip. Once my 30th birthday was over, I was left with a sense of calmness. Also, I stopped giving a crap. I lite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 08:49 PM
3

My therapist tells me this all the time regarding heterosexual relationships: "Scientifically, it's shown that men's lives improve because of their girlfriends or wives. For women, it's their female social network that helps them have improved lives and live longer". Choose wisely, my queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 08:32 PM
2

Of course! I am sending you a PM about this so we can talk more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 03:46 PM
2

Thank you. It's hard sometimes but good to have a reminder from a fellow FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 07:24 AM
2

I certainly do! I discovered this sub a month ago. I check it all the time. The support here is great and realistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 10:38 PM
1

This is great! Thank you! I can totally relate to the hair part. How have you dealt with urges to reach out to fuckboys just for the physical part? I'm struggling with that the most right now. Last night, I was having a hard time. I was proud that I woke up without doing anything I'd regret.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 09:02 PM
1

I do not. I have just been reading the sub a lot and trying to understand where to start. My problem area is my stomach. Do you notice that using this program has helped to tone your body overall and not just the the main areas of glutes and legs?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 07:06 AM
2

Thank you so much! You gals are amazing and queens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 05:57 AM
2

Oh wow! Excellent. I have been lurking in that sub for over a year now. I will certainly get the book then. Do you find it to be easy to start the book from the beginning or just pick and choose which part to start?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 05:47 AM
4

I've gotten into growing and nurturing plants. I'm getting into crafting as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 05:45 AM
5

Thank you! How did you get into lifting? Did you get a trainer? My issue with the gym has always been not knowing what to do and I really hate the treadmill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 05:13 AM
3

Thank you. I have blocked all LVMs and deleted my dating apps. It feels like a ghost town now. It does feel like detoxing for me or at least I think this is what it is. I'm trying to build other parts of my life as this part is behind me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 05:12 AM
14

Thank you! I signed up for the gym a few days ago. I am going to a free trainer session tomorrow. Any tips on keeping up with the gym?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:29 AM
5

Thank you. Please send a list of potential activities either here or PM :) I also deleted social media accounts and OLD apps about a month ago. Life is a lot simpler but surprisingly different and a bit dull without all the noise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:29 AM
7

I guess I should have been clearer in my post. I am not dating at the moment. It does take some time to detox for me from dating LVMs. I'm not looking for going directly back into dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:39 AM
11

Thank you. I needed to read this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:14 AM
7

Can't look at her the same after her stint with Pete Davidson
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:00 AM
9

Agreed. Also, if he's really into movies where he has a huge huge TV and a library of DVDs, those are his 'toys'. Run!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:51 AM
5

You are not 'stuck'. You are finding yourself. You are only 20. Hell, you're not even a 'woman' yet. You're a young woman. What's the difference? Lessons learned. That's all. Women like myself who are older than you, we are not better than you by any means. We are here to all share the lessons we've learned and the wisdom we've gained along the way. I bet you 110% there are things you've learned and can share with the rest of us that we don't know yet. The rejection you're feeling is, in many wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:46 AM
17

"My pussy is not charity" - I vote for this to be the sub's motto! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 07:14 PM
13

He's baiting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:41 AM
14

Two months. They will start to show their true colors by two months. If they disappear for a few weeks, reset the two-month period. Do NOT have any feelings until you are able to see who they are after two months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:40 AM
21

Block. Don't hesitate for a second. Block on FB, iMessage, phone (if Android), and WhatsApp (linked to FB). Do NOT worry about what your mutual friends might think. He will not have the balls to bring it up to them. If he does, and they mention something to you, just say you changed your mind and don't want to be bothered. DO NOT FEEL BAD!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:38 AM
15

Facebook connection: red flag - predatory behavior Age gap - red flag Offer to buy gift - red flag (is he Santa? GTFO); also, buy a freaking gift, don't pretend like you're going to buy one. Just buy it. Loser alert. DO NOT MEET. Block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:36 AM
2

I'd wait until you move. Do not entertain the idea of meeting someone online and pursue a long distance relationship. This does NOT exist anymore. Maybe about 10 years ago, online dating wasn't common so people were more willing to put time and effort into it. Nowadays, the options are endless. If someone is doing a long distance thing and has not mentioned meeting in person after 1 week of talking, they are stringing you along. Do not fall for it. Wait until your situation is better (moving awa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:30 AM
3

No. Do not waste your time on men that are more than 1 hour drive from where you live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:27 AM
3

Second part since my comment is too long: ​ What has been life changing for you? How did you change your attitude and negative thoughts? How do you manage being a bit too emotional sometimes? Find a good therapist. I cannot emphasize this enough. Mental health and well-being are just as important as physical health. What is a good therapist? Ask yourself that question first when you are ready to find one. Do not wait until you're experiencing hardships to do it. I'd recommend finding one when yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:15 AM
4

Hey! I have a few things to hopefully answer your questions. I am in my 30s and really wished I asked these questions when I was younger. It's a great thing you're starting early! ​ What is your face routine like? ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear sunscreen no matter where you live! I neglected this in my 20s when I lived in Southern California. Huge mistake because now I am getting freckles and sunspots that are hard to remove. Depends on how much you want to invest, I'd highly recommend finding a derm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:15 AM
-7

Did you ask him about his relationship status?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:37 PM
6

It's never too late for your own happiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:36 PM
3

What if he's never on his phone on our dates?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:17 PM
2

I don't have a context of your conversations with him. Therefore, I can't fully assess the best way to be straightforward. If I were you, I'd say "I am not comfortable with communicating with you. Respect my wish and do not contact me again." In situations like this, I'm never that polite by using words like "Please" , "Sorry", or "Thank you". I just try to be to the point as much as possible. The reason being is when it comes to the cops, if something ever were to happen, the guy could argue th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:57 PM
11

Hahaha what a loser! Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:45 PM
33

Very true. A guy I was dating didn't communicate for about two weeks because of Thanksgiving and his family being in town. When he reached out again, I said: "I'm disappointed that I didn't hear from you and frankly surprised to hear from you now". He apologized and then volunteered to be better at communication. I didn't nag him. I didn't have to. I just told him I was disappointed. It's better to lay down your feelings and see how they deal with them rather than say "You should have..." Then, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:13 PM
23

Cardi B did it! “Ni**as must have forgotten the shit that I did to motherfucking survive,” she says in the video. “Like, I had to go strip. I had to go, ‘Oh yeah, you want to fuck me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s go to this hotel,’ and I’d drug ni**as up, and I’d rob them. That’s what I used to do! Nothing was motherfucking handed to me, my ni**a. Nothing.” https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/3/27/18284220/cardi-b-drug-rob-controversy-scandal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:52 PM
106

Is he...holding a fish in his profile pic? That's a small ass fish. Girl, you wised up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:14 AM
1

Yes, I am dating multiple men at the same time but never intimated with more than 1 at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:13 AM
5

I'm starting to think the answer is no for OLD. I've met men who seem to be HVM, over time, their true colors showed. Not that they all are LVM, they are just very non-committal which I guess could count as LVM? I agree with the top commenter. Use OLD as a supplement to other ways of dating like meeting thru mutual friends, meeting thru a social group or shared interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:38 AM
3

Yea, next. He's going to waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:35 AM
5

Oh yes, I got a message from him as well. Blocked!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:33 AM
2

I actually started to put together a playlist to empower myself. I'm really sorry to hear about your circumstance. Here are few of my favorites I hope will help you get thru this hard time, these are a bit mellow but I find them to be soothing: -Peace by Alison Wonderland -I'll find you by Lecrae -Save You by Turin Brakes -Be Thankful for What You've Got by William DeVaughn -Glad He's Gone by Tove Lo -Falls by Sasha Sloan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:32 AM
3

Thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:20 AM
25

Yes! I was seeing this guy for a month. I went shopping the other day and saw a shirt I thought he'd like. I contemplated buying the shirt. Then, it dawned on me I hadn't heard from him in two days. So, I didn't. You know what, the shirt is actually really awesome and it's unisex. I'm going back to the store to buy it for myself because he's a loser and I blocked his number yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:08 AM
3

Agreed. The key here is to NOT take it personally. Once I've let that go, my life is so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:37 AM
3

Wonder if mods can block him from this subreddit if he's harassing multiple people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:36 AM
11

This also applies to us as women as well. I was with an ex for 5 years and I just 'didn't know' if I'd spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't. I was young and thought it was normal to feel unsure. He asked me time and time again during our five years why I couldn't be sure. Now, I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 11:59 PM
4

I don't mention this rule to any of the guys I date. I only tell it to my girlfriends as a word of caution. They find this helpful too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:26 PM
2

Is it Navarus? I got a message saying "oooooh poor baby". Blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:25 PM
3

Good for you! Those anxious people will make you feel guilty for not being there for them constantly, but they have no problem with discarding you when they no longer have a need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:54 PM
17

My therapist has given a 2-month dating rule, and so far, it works well to weed out these losers. She said you wouldn't really know anyone (not just dating but in general) until you've known them in a totality of at least two months. This is when people really start to show who they are. She advised me to only 'gather information' until the 2-month mark. This means to remove all emotions and really see clearly. For example, if he texts you every morning to say 'Good morning :)', don't feel the t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:50 PM
11

One of my best friends is a dismissive-avoidant as well. For her, she became that way after her divorce. Her ex husband constantly cheated on her for 7 years and was very demeaning. By the time she was able to leave, she said she became a different person than she was before. I think one of the most crucial parts of making changes is to understand why you are this way. It could be that you've always been this type of attachment or because of a traumatic experience. Understanding yourself first i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:41 PM
2

He used the word charlatan. Enough said. I'm surprised he hasn't thrown out the word philistine yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:21 AM
1

WOW...proud proud proud!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:13 AM
1

Yes, if I were his gf, I'd want to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:12 AM
2

We are proud of you, and we are here for you, queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:49 AM
3

Oh girl, you. are. gorgeous! This dude sucks. Also, he looks ashy. He needs high-grade moisturizer. Yea, men like him are exactly how they presented themselves to you. No ifs, buts, or maybes. Also, any men that were married come with LOTS of baggage and a weird sense of entitlement. Avoid them like the plague
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:44 AM
1

Agreed! Also, if you've had a bad experience with a date from OLD, please report them. If you felt that another woman shouldn't have to endure what you went thru, report them. They need to be held accountable. A guy almost sexually harrassed me on our third date. I reported him. Then, I saw him on a different app, I reported him there as well. A guy I went out with 4 times started acting weird. Then, the last night we hung out, he was like half-heartedly tried to mess around with me. The next da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:34 AM
2

Thank you! This is so well-written!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:00 AM
6

Also, this sounds weird, but if things don't work out between me and a guy, at least, I don't ever really look back and cringe about his looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:48 AM
4

Every time this thought crosses my mind, I think about George Costanza from Seinfeld and I'm immediately back in reality. Remember, George's fiance died from licking cheap and poisonous envelopes because he didn't want to spend a lot of money. She also died alone because he didn't help her lick those envelopes which had their wedding invites inside!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:47 AM
1

WHAT!? Girl, no! Do not pay him back What does your instinct tell you? Listen to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:26 AM
11

QUEEN STATUS!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:24 AM
3

This reminds me of the first Sex in the City movie where Steve cheated on Miranda. My girlfriends and I saw the movie together and we couldn't agree. I was LIVID that he cheated on her and wished she never took him back. My girlfriends were adamant that Miranda needed to give him another chance so that they could be a family again. The fact that Carrie gave Miranda such a shitty time for not forgiving Steve right away really drove me away from the entire Sex in The City franchise for me. I'd nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:21 AM
7

I was on the fence about this guy. I've been thinking about it for the past week. I'm bothered quite a bit by the way he's been. You're right, Maya Angelou was right, when he showed me who he really is, I should have believed him the first time. I just deleted all of our messages and blocked his number now. Thank you thank you thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:14 AM
3

Thank you. I needed to read this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:11 AM
4

Yes! This! If it's too good to be true, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:00 PM
8

This is so true! I would also argue that time does matter as you're getting to know someone. My therapist has given me a 2-month dating rule. She said you wouldn't know someone until AT LEAST two months in. At this mark, you'll see their true character SLOWLY coming thru. Anything before the 2 months is absolute garbage. She's so on point! I've been going on dates this year and practicing this method. I don't have any feelings for anyone AT LEAST two months in. Unsurprisingly, they all drop like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 09:58 PM
3

That's great! Such an inspirational story. America has its flaws but I can't think of many other countries where women like us can travel alone and not be judged and it's mostly safe. I wish you the best of luck with the school in the fall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 09:54 PM
2

Proud of you, sis! Life's too short to worry about men like him. They will orbit! Shoot that satellite down. Don't let him orbit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 09:52 PM
3

Good for you! Tell me more :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 07:50 PM
5

She has two now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 07:50 PM
2

She did it herself too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 07:49 PM
7

YES! this! I unmatched this other guy who said "how's your day" I responded. Then, he asked "what are you doing today" No freaking question marks? What kind of savage are you? Grammar savage, that's what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 04:06 AM
5

We here for you! You should block him. Why wait for him to text just to say no? Move on, girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 03:13 AM
14

GOOD FOR YOU!!! 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 03:12 AM
14

hahahh love this! This guy sent me a message the other day on Hinge. His first message was "hey how's it going? did you get into any trouble this week?" God, how old are you really? I immediately unmatched.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 03:09 AM
2

Thankfully, I've only dated one guy who is like this. Most men put in efforts. How would you know? The way he kisses you. If he kisses you tenderly and touches your face or hair, he will try. The selfish dude and I, at the beginning of our relatively short relationship, would kiss but they weren't passionate. He would always rush us into the bedroom and just tried to have sex right away. I was always on top. At first, we would be fairly drunk before we hooked up. When we eventually had sober sex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:56 AM
4

This is helpful! Thanks! IDGAF anymore. I don't even initiate the first text until I feel that I can emotionally trust him. If he thinks that's too much work, move the fuck on. You've got to earn that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:48 AM
20

Recently, I've gone on a few dates with guys I've met OLD. He's 30 and doing his residency. When asked about his ex/es, he said he never really 'liked' any of them that much. They were convenient. When he failed to let me know way in advance that he was stuck at the hospital and couldn't make our date, I booked out of there. He's 34 and was married for 3 years. Left his wife because even though she is, according to him per my inquiry, 'pretty, smart, has a great job, kind, but not perfect'. Surp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:34 AM
2

Get a pet!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 10:27 PM
3

*hugs* it's not 100% time wasted if the outcome helped you see it clearer for yourself in the future. It's an investment but with a poor ROI, so you'd just move onto another investment. Without that bad investment, you wouldn't know to avoid it later on. Think of it this way :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 09:13 PM
7

Definitely talk to a bouncer or bartender. Those people are typically men and they will help you. Also, if you're not going to take an Uber back home or wherever you're going next, and you decide to walk, say to a bar close by, ask a bouncer or bartender if they could find someone to walk you for a bit. Never be afraid to ask for help. Definitely do not ask anyone random at the bar/club though, ask someone who is an authority at the establishment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:57 PM
1

Nope. Move on, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:54 PM
7

Sounds like you met him through a dating app? I'd highly recommend reporting him on the app. Most women don't do this and it keeps allowing shitty men to find more dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:51 PM
2

He sounds like George Costanza.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:50 PM
15

Take that happiness. Breath in. Wait five minutes. Check in with yourself. You still feel it? ​ Okay, breath in. Wait another five minutes. Still happy? Yes? Okay, why does it make you happy? Is it because you miss him? Is it because you feel validated? Ask yourself some hard questions where this happiness comes from before making any decisions whether that to be not responding or responding to him, you should know yourself first. Don't give in to your brain's thoughts that quickly. We sometimes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:48 PM
4

This is so true. I tell my girlfriends all the time, and I tell myself this too 'there are literally billions of people out there'. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:43 PM
2

good for you! These guys are a waste of space. Actually, I sometimes report them for inappropriate messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 08:40 PM
6

I have used pretty much all of the available apps out there. Let me break these up into a few categories and provide my feedback: Well-known apps: these apps have a high volume of users. Therefore, you have a bigger pool to choose from. OkCupid - I've used this many times over a long period of time. It used to be very popular before dating apps existed. It was a place where people would write meaningful profiles and thoughtful things. Even though the format of this site/app is fairly more inquis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 08:10 AM
2

Can you explain Cluster B personality from your perspective? I've never heard of it before. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 07:15 AM
1

This is such an educational post. Thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 11:44 PM
4

Yes! This! I was dating this guy for about a month. He was divorced and told me his marriage was essentially sexless and he wanted more. I'm a very confident woman in all aspects of my life including sex. I thought we were having great sex and he commented on how he's missed out so much in his marriage. Well, earlier this week, he broke up with me. One of the reasons was that I'm too confident especially in the bedroom. I don't even know what that means but I think he thinks because I know what …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 04:32 PM
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