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Independent-Hall4929 Archive

View 14 posts and 286 comments by Independent-Hall4929 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thanks for the response! I think he is very goal oriented. The problem is he is making many changes for me, as he says he’s never dated anyone like me before. He enjoys it, but is struggling with his previous beliefs of ‘independent’ women. At the same time he’s very receptive to my more traditional way of thinking, and since our figure discussions are all hypothetical, when the time comes he’ll enter the masculine role even more. We had a nice discussion yesterday actually. I tired to be more r…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/24 09:43 AM
2

Yes I’ll discuss my business plan with him in more detail, and financials too
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 12:45 PM
2

Thank you so much for the response, really nice to discuss here as this lifestyle whilst so logical as you’ve described sounds weird to 99% of people around me. I wish I could show him how me being stress free is better, but the distance doesn’t help at all. He’s annoying, because there’s many times he’s hinted how it would be nice if I was with him to help with life admin stuff. It’s almost like I have to ease him into this, rather than say it’s what I want directly. Also based on his stubborn …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 11:52 AM
3

Thank you, you’re very right. I think he will see the benefits once it actually happens. He also thinks I may be unfulfilled and cited a lot of annoying feminist rhetoric. But he hasn’t grown up in a busy and wholesome family home, whereas I have a huge extended family. I like what you say in the first paragraph, but I’m not sure the best way to show him that.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 12:13 AM
1

Lol exactly that is what it sounds like, and it makes no sense. I did point it out, and then he said he wants to see more motivation or attitude change. Yes I agree about the travel, but he’s trying to frame it as something for me, not primarily for his benefit. Yes we want to have kids, and soon. but he did find the whole housewife thing unusual at first
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 10:53 PM
-1

Ok but the agricultural revolution does not mean all of time, and neither does urbanisation. Both are quite recent. Before that work was usually based around family businesses, making it much easier for everyone to contribute and support eachother. So women have always contributed to the household in some way - I’d argue they tend to do so in a way that they are closer to the house/community and the children, whereas men tend to venture further. I think the modern distinction is ‘careers’ - also…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 07:48 AM
3

I’m pretty sure gender roles stem from biology. What do you mean humans worked a lot for all of time? What type of work?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 01:10 AM
1

I feel like you’re dodging the issues here. Why does your husband feel burnt out? What is his career trajectory? And why are you living expenses getting higher, especially with no kids? I feel with men who don’t want to provide, their first solution is to get their wife to work more instead of finding other solutions. Have you considered reducing your expenses, moving to a lower cost area etc? Or is it just the principle for him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 12:59 AM
1

Do you work out? Makes me feel warm for ages after. And can you improve the heating? Maybe get underfloor?
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/24 08:01 PM
1

Yes I think you’re a placeholder. You’re both old enough to know what you want. Do you know why he dumped you in the first place? Are there some incompatibility issues you’re ignoring?
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 01:46 AM
2

The is very interesting. But let’s not assume OPs man is pure. His strong feelings about OF indicate he’s well versed with such content
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/24 08:05 PM
1

OP if you’re not trolling, I’d be more concerned that your boyfriend is thinking about OF so much. Has HE used it in the past? Why does he bring it up multiple times and feel so strongly about it? Weird. Men who aren’t into such stuff don’t even think about this. It’s not on their radar.
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/24 07:51 PM
2

You’re only 29, you can do so much better than this. I don’t like to tell strangers to end relationships, but this sounds awful for you. It’s not normal, you should be with someone that finds you irresistible. Search ‘vetting’ on this sub to choose a better partner next time
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 03:39 PM
0

Yeeesh! Is this a troll?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 03:04 PM
3

Thanks for clarifying. In that case I don’t think his interest is strong enough. That shouldn’t put him off, he should expect an attractive woman to have many options. The right guy will continue trying to impress you (with the caveat you’re not sleeping with him already… then he could presume you’re sleeping with others. Hence why it’s good to save sex for a relationship)
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 12:33 PM
2

I think you need to give more details on how your date found out about your ex exactly? Did you overshare on the date and tell him how your ex treated you badly? If so this is a turn off to men. They wonder why they should treat you well when you accept any old treatment. Next time keep that information to yourself until you’re in a very stable place with a committed partner. So yeah it’s a turnoff. But also a man ghosting after 1 month is normal. We will date many men and end up with one. I wou…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 09:06 AM
12

Red flag! At his age, if he wanted a ‘pure’ relationship he’d be married by now! I think he’s also traumatised about losing his virginity in a relationship that didn’t work out
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 07:18 AM
16

I’m sorry but what future? It’s been 5 years already. I think you should stop financially contributing all together. At 31 he needs to be financially stable on his own.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 11:46 PM
4

But to be fair, he should pay his own mortgage and provide for his woman properly
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 10:52 PM
14

By the way, he’s not really taking care of you if you pay half the mortgage and you’re still single on paper. Does he pay for all dates? Buy you clothes, makeup? Take you on trips etc?
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 10:45 PM
24

‘Then I should leave and find someone else…’ I stopped there. Listen… a man who’s truly in love with you would NEVER threaten to end the relationship over something so trivial. The man for you will love it when you look a basic in sweatpants, even if he prefers you glammed up. Reevaluate this relationship. 5 years is too long without engagement at his age anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 10:44 PM
9

If you’re lazy and unmotivated, you won’t survive a marriage. From what I see it’s hard work but ultimately rewarding
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 12:49 PM
15

What is this?? If you’ve decided you want to find a husband, then you should put your current lifestyle behind you. Search ‘nun mode’ on this sub. Do that for 6 - 12 months, then you’ll find you have more options than this one man.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 11:09 AM
1

Yes giving a man flowers is treating him like a woman! Please don’t do this. Overall I would just relax. It’s only been 3 months, so he should still be in the stage of courting and impressing you. Show lots of appreciation, and respect to his plans and decisions. I would pick one of the gifts below, maybe the wine tasting tour. Skip the letter until he writes something similar for you and the relationship is a bit more long term.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 12:05 PM
2

That’s interesting, thanks for explaining more
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 03:04 PM
1

Ok fair enough, but her dilemma is not related to her ‘sex life’. So I’m wondering how D/s is of importance here. Maybe I don’t know enough about that lifestyle
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 02:23 PM
2

Honestly 99% of influencers and grifters and not showing a genuine portrayal of their lifestyle and values. I prefer to follow public figures/celebrities who don’t need to ‘influence’ but have other careers and interests. Women like Miranda Kerr, Jessica Alba, Anna Andres, Sophia Ritchie etc …
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 01:23 PM
–

I thought dom/sub was something sexual? what does this have to do with red pill? Also your boyfriend sounds insecure, and wants to bring your self esteem down. I’d leave him honestly. It’s been 2 years so is he discussing marriage yet? Is he a good provider?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 01:15 PM
4

Yeah who was driving?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 01:13 PM
1

I think you’re too young to be so worried about this. Enjoy your studies and focus on yourself please. Stop thinking about becoming a wife and mother when you haven’t finished developing yourself. If you genuinely enjoy femininity, then balance your studies with more feminine hobbies. But don’t force yourself because you want to be more appealing to men. Most men around you know are not looking for a wife anyway. Focus on being your best self, enjoy beauty, clothes and girly stuff, enjoy dating …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 10:09 AM
4

Marry a man that actually has normal parents?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 07:42 AM
1

Why do you think he’s the best you can get?! This is why people end up in awful marriages and get divorced anyway. It sounds like you only tolerate him, but don’t think you can do better. Listen, you can’t make a man do anything. Red pill women advice is how to improve yourself, but a man won’t suddenly change his character becuase of that. This should have been done at 6 months. You can and will find a better match.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 10:18 PM
2

lol if you’re downvoting, please tell me why you disagree
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 10:30 AM
9

Candace Owen’s is the black ‘red pill’ Queen 😉 You don’t need to be extreme as that, but yes there space for black women
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 08:32 AM
2

Lucky to have him? If that’s his attitude you won’t have a good marriage anyway. The most successful marriages are when both feel so lucky to have found eachother
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 01:14 PM
1

Do you know exactly what his financial concerns are? And what steps he’s taking to address them, plus a timeline for you both?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 01:11 PM
5

I think until this issue of providing comfortably is solved, he’s just not going to be interested in developing any hobbies. Instead of focussing on that, is there any way you can help him get ahead at work?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 01:23 AM
4

Sorry to hear that! I’d encourage you to investigate more into his chronic health issue. I’ve been on a health journey myself and realised the knowledge of general doctors is actually very limited. There’s so much information on diet and lifestyle that can make your day to day life much better.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 01:01 AM
7

Can you find some positive topics to discuss going forward? And try incorporating more health focussed hobbies and habits, it could help him a lot. Like learning how to cook healthy recipes, fitness, hiking, visiting farms/wildlife, allotments etc
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 07:00 PM
4

So what do you both talk about … during meals for example? And rather than trying to find him a hobby, get to the root of why he seems unhappy.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 06:16 PM
10

Can I ask - is he happy? If he feels fulfilled without any particular passion then it is what it is. If he does feel motivated to find one, I imagine he would. Maybe it’s a deeper issue like stress at work. It’s nice he takes part in your hobbies, so you could continue as you do.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 06:09 PM
–

No not in my experience. If it’s going well they usually offer food/snacks during the date
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:52 PM
2

Look I think you’re coming up with excuses for everything. You said you have bad options for dating, and I’ve advised how to get better options. Not sure what else to say.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:28 PM
1

Are you very good looking yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 12:27 PM
2

What’s wrong with being 41? Where did you get this idea from? Just filter for men 40-55. If you’re insecure about being older, try making up for it in other way. Can you maintain a fit athletic figure? Have great personal style etc?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 12:10 PM
2

Guy 1 - hell no Guy 2 - hell no, and your intuition is telling you he’s not a good person underneath his ‘jokes’ Guy 3 - men who are not interested in us are low priority. How can you possibly move forward if he’s uninterested? Please find better men. Are you on the dating apps? Maybe post your profile for review.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 09:29 AM
0

Most women these days get married age 25-40. This gives a few years at least to work. I’m not saying women should never work or get educated. And there’s always the opportunity to reenter the workplace anytime. I don’t believe this whole resume gap stuff. Now more than ever before there’s a huge variety of jobs outside corporate. As for the vetting, I’m sorry but that’s what it comes down to. Being deceived for 6 months is forgivable. But 5+ years is poor judgement.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:30 PM
2

Agreed. And I’ve come across many men who are able to focus more on their career/business and earn more because they have a wife who looks after all the ‘life’ stuff. Each has their role. Raising kids well, managing a home, decorating, planning social life, trips, financial planning etc all requires intelligence. A simple search on Reddit will give plenty of examples.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:58 PM
1

I think you misunderstood, I said IF budget is planned properly, a couple should be able to live on one income comfortably, at least for a period of time.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:55 PM
5

Well that is due to poor vetting skills. It happens to many women, including myself. Often you see signs of this right at the start, but we choose to ignore them. Are you making a generalisation about all ‘traditional’ men based on your experience with a single man?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 12:51 PM
2

So what happened? You didn’t meet anyone?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:43 AM
5

This is fear-mongering. Traditional men aren’t always looking for a women to depend on them. They just realise the value of having different yet complimentary roles in marriage. Money is not the saviour of everything. Boss baes can still be as used and manipulated by opportunist men for example. As this sub says, vetting is everything. Furthermore all couples should sign a pre-nup that protects them both, or none at all. So not sure where this destitution comes from, unless you vet very badly. A…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:35 AM
9

Do you think that’s a good deal for women? With budgeting and planning a woman should not have to do both of these things in equal measure, whilst a man only focusses on working. Especially if children are entering the picture.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:28 AM
0

What makes you think the men are traditional? Actions are stronger than words.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:26 AM
0

This is surprising to me. Is random sex really better than sex in a relationship with strong emotions etc?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 07:28 AM
-3

It sounds like he’s had a personal experience with it unfortunately. I’d try and find out more about that situation. Sounds like he was triggered. I had an ex that went through similar - his girlfriend got a bit violent, he pushed her back then she called the police. But I know for a fact he’s not violent at all.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 12:26 AM
24

Honestly these podcasts are so toxic. We all need to go outside and touch grass, instead of consuming this harmful content.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 02:32 PM
3

Also, when you say ‘best I’ve had’ it makes me think you lack the confidence to find a better man in a more ideal situation. I’d recommend going into nun mode, working on yourself for a while and re-entering the dating market. You will find better!
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 07:15 PM
3

It doesn’t sound good to me, and your gut is screaming at you! You’re still young enough to find an older man with way less baggage. His child is super young, so it’s a lot for you to raise a child half the time. He also sounds like he won’t be as generous with you because he’s unhappy about the divorce costs. Had he spoken to you seriously about marriage and kids? What’s the timeline here? I would have moved in until this was all discussed and ironed out. You dont have much leverage now unless …
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 07:13 PM
11

Well these men don’t sound like catches, otherwise your friend and the multiple women would have wanted them. Did you try looking at this from a different perspective - that you’re the one settling for men no one else wants? Be confident and try aiming higher.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 06:36 PM
1

How do you know this?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 05:29 PM
3

Yes this is ridiculous. Have you read the surrendered single yet?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 01:46 PM
15

How do you align if only you want a relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 09:41 AM
1

I thought wealth is related to your net worth and assets. Like you could live off your assets without working, and it continues to grow whether through interest or passive income. I don’t know what rich means exactly, very contextual I’d imagine.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 05:09 PM
1

Haha the nonchalance really works
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 01:49 AM
6

It sounds like you did The Rules to be honest. And it sounds like you make him very happy. And u do see red pill here - you’re a soft place for him to land, provide him good vibes, no drama. Let him lead. You make him feel needed AKA masculine etc …
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 01:15 AM
1

Hmm could be!
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 05:11 PM
15

Those have nothing to do with initiating sex. It doesn’t even seem like he’s angry at you. You really have to ask him why, instead of making assumptions.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 10:25 AM
9

Well it’s partly him, if he’s not making you feel attractive. I think what’s happened is you noticed he stopped initiating, and you’ve created this narrative that it’s all your fault because of an incident 1 year ago. The truth is neither you nor we really know why he’s stopped initiating. An argument shouldn’t stop a man from initiating sex forever.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 09:39 AM
23

If the threesome thing is normal for you, why even mention it in your original post? It’s what most people are focussing now, but it seems irrelevant to your intimacy issues. I’d advise you to stop worrying about your yelling (it’s in the past) and just try and get intimate with him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 09:11 AM
15

If this is the case, just initiate sex with him or talk about it like adults.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 08:18 AM
12

Congratulations on triplets! Why would your husband ask you for a threesome? Is there some history related to such things? Also if he hasn’t initiated I’m surprised you simply didn’t confront him about it in over a year(in a nice way) Does it make you uncomfortable to bring up these topics? Was he supportive during your pregnancy?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 08:11 AM
2

Yes I don’t think it’s OP’s responsibility to encourage him to do anything. Especially when they’re only dating not married. I don’t know how long they’ve been together but she seems to find him irritating in general.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 09:44 PM
1

Hmmm to be honest based on other comments they sound a bit mismatched.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 06:25 PM
0

I didn’t say that. Just pointing out what a really bad relationship issue looks like
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 05:55 PM
1

Well based on 80% of the relationship dilemmas here it is! 🥲 I do think my point is relevant, because one of the main causes of breaks ups is when we stop appreciating what we have and focusing on negatives. Since when is a man wanting to spend extra time with his girlfriend a dealbreaker? It’s something easily solvable.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 05:54 PM
3

Hmm well it’s still better than him being addicted to video games, social media, porn etc… at least he wants to spend time with you when you’re both at home. Can you just instruct him to do some chores next time? Id be more concerned if he bothered you when you’re out with friends etc. or pressured you to come home. But you didn’t give any examples of this.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 02:29 PM
1

You can find love from a provider. Just get hard as someone saud above, and be the best version of yourself. Have you read the rules?
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 07:59 AM
4

That’s so wonderful! He sounds like a protector and provider, and I love your gratitude. It’s so important to not take these things for granted and always put our all into relationships
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 05:59 PM
5

Congratulations, you’re so lucky you got started young! Would love to hear more about your courtship and how you knew he’s a good leader etc
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 02:15 PM
2

That makes a lot of sense!
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:54 PM
2

lol find a men’s level-up sub
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 01:51 PM
1

The bagpack is cute but it’s not the same as a handbag! It would look strange with a dress and heels for example. Besides the more stylish a woman is, the more likely she will go for this type of bagpack as it’s nicely designed. As opposed to ugly northface one lol
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 11:40 AM
1

Agreed but OP didn’t mention any brands. A cheaper handbag in the style of a Coach is completely different to a backpack, and men do notice this. They notice cute feminine accessories in nice colours, not brands necessarily.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:58 AM
5

Marry a woman from a rich family.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:26 AM
7

You need to go back and read books from John Grey, Laura Doyle etc, because they explain how natural it is for men to give and women to receive. Understand men are not the same as us, and this is how they show love and commitment. What does the term goldigger mean to you, and why are you afraid of the association?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:25 AM
9

Part 2 is called Bridesmaids.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:12 AM
7

I agree to some point. But many men love their woman to look stylish and feminine. I just think men don’t realise all the things women do to get there. They just look at the finished product, and assume we woke up that way lol. Men who have options are choosing the woman with great hair, skin, pretty outfit showing off her figure, trendy clothes every day! Compared to the frumpy woman in baggy grey clothes and a bagpack
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 10:11 AM
23

I don’t think what OP says screams wealth though. Dressing stylish and put-together, and having a handbag instead of a grocery bag (LOL) doesn’t need wealth. SUVs are just practical for families. I think she’s trying to make a point about the types richer men go for
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 09:23 AM
5

I wonder if the men are selecting these slender stylish women, or do you become more like this when you marry well?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 09:20 AM
1

From your first comment, I thought what you were saying was happy marriages are an exception to the rule, because people tend to marry for practical reasons, rather than love or what I mentioned above. But maybe I misunderstood.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 09:57 PM
1

Lovely, happy for you!
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 09:23 PM
2

So only marriages of convenience are realistic? This is what leads to dysfunctional marriages, as you mentioned above
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 09:23 PM
5

That’s what I’m thinking. Marrying ‘practically’ doesn’t seem like a good idea for longevity. Especially for men. I think the best marriages are where the man feels he’s won the jackpot based on the woman’s looks and how she makes him feel. And for the woman a man providing stability, comfort etc. This is covered well in Pat Allen’s book.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 08:09 PM
1

After how long did you get married?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 07:58 PM
6

Yes entering into a marriage based on how much he loves your WAP only is not a good decision 😬
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 07:46 PM
3

Are you saying women need to look more like porn stars??
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:44 AM
10

Please search porn addiction on Reddit, you’ll find plenty of information on how destructive this is. See if he has any more signs of porn addiction. In this day and age, this is one of the first things I look out for when dating a new man.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 07:06 PM
1

This is the advice I’ve read in the surrendered single by Laura Doyle, a book highly revered in this community. Read chapter 17 regarding kids. It makes sense. However, rereading the above it’s unclear if he even wants to marry OP after knowing her for 7 months. The kids thing may be his way of saying he’s not crazy about her.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 06:32 PM
8

Wow so sorry, so glad you found out though.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 02:34 AM
9

Did he go on onlyfans etc in front of you? Or how did you find out? Sorry to hear, it’s an addiction so there’s no way to reason with such men
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 02:10 AM
2

Do RPW strategies work as well if you do them with a man you’re already with? I’d guess not…. I imagine it works the best when you start vetting the man during the dating stage. So I’m sorry you’re going though this, but you need to apply it to the right masculine man who’s crazy about you from the start.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 01:28 AM
2

The vacation was his idea. For me it’s a bonus, family should come first of course.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 01:14 AM
2

You have to frame it as your own personal value. Like you’d never live with a man without engagement. Don’t frame it like something HE has to do. Then the balls in his court, but you’re not forcing anything.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 08:04 PM
6

Just be direct and tell him you’d love to live with him, but you’re old fashioned and would need to be engaged/married first. If he accepts that, then say you’ll prefer to start fresh in a new apartment. I wouldn’t push him too much regarding career. It can be emasculating for men. Let him come to the best decision for you both
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 07:10 PM
3

You’re right, I’ll avoid trying to find solutions for him because he’s an adult. He has expressed how a family would be fulfilling, and I think that’s why we hit it off so well. But he’s still in two minds and has to come to this decision himself. Thanks for the great tips and more clarity on the situation
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 06:57 PM
4

Thank you, you’re right that he seems to prioritise a high status lifestyle, rather than focussing on family and budgeting if needs be. I think this comes from childhood trauma of being denied fancy things. I can also see living this high status lifestyle for the past 10 years or so did not make him happy, and I think he did develop some mental health issues in the past due to chasing this lifestyle. I like nice things but I can see how hollow material things can be. They are no substitute for a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 06:26 PM
5

Thank you. I was quite blindsided because we’ve touched on this topic, and he knows how family oriented and conservative I am. Also his behaviour is very provider. But yes we’ll have a deeper discussion
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 06:19 PM
6

Thank you! Yes it will be very hard to hear he doesn’t want to compromise. I will bring it up directly next time, and our relationship will not progress unless we’re in agreement
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 04:31 PM
1

I actually disagree that it’s as simple as hours. A man working a very mentally challenging job in the same hours will be more tired. A womans body undergoing all the hormonal changes of carrying a baby and nursing an infant cannot be quantified through hours. We need to stop looking at marriage though a ‘corporate’ lens, makes no sense
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 02:47 PM
1

I think he should be bringing this up himself. He’s meant to be the leader here.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 02:41 PM
–

Can you clarify - when he criticises the lunch or discusses plans, is he talking so loudly the whole office can hear? Or are you nearby listening closely?
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 02:21 PM
5

But the first study literally cites couples who make the same amount. What do you mean by unfairly shared? Also biological differences between men and women mean men can never take on 50% of childbirth, recovery etc …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 02:37 PM
3

Does he actually want to have kids with you? And get married? If a man has a desire to have a family he’s be taking steps to ensure he can provide. Otherwise how is he redpill? This may look like moving to a LCOL area etc. if he hasn’t bought this up maybe it’s not something he wants?
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 02:03 PM
20

Sorry but men that court only fans women/sex workers do it because they are emotionally unavailable. Those women put money above all else, and the men use their finances to get their attention. They are not men with strong family values. Character of a man is important.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 07:54 PM
10

Don’t have much expectations from him at this early stage. Wait and see if he follows through on the February trip before you become too invested. Allow him to initiate texts/calls and be busy with your life
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 06:39 PM
3

He’s filthy rich and only spend $100 on you? Hmm… I wouldn’t try too hard. Just something simple and sentimental.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 05:49 PM
3

Err didn’t you say he’s talking about spending the night with you?? He can only see you as innocent if you state your boundaries (whatever they are) and uphold them. Also you shouldn’t want to be innocent to impress men. Being virtuous and chaste should be a personal value you believe in deeply
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 05:47 PM
14

You’re asking too much for someone you’re just texting. Besides, he should be making plans to see you, not texting. Go and read The Rules book
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 05:43 PM
6

Ok so you need to decide what you will and won’t do up until marriage. What will make you most comfortable and not ashamed? If you did what you did on your video chat in person, how do make sure it doesn’t escalate further? Also does he know about waiting for marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 02:29 PM
14

Well… when do you plan on getting intimate? I understand it can be hard to resist urges, so you didn’t do anything wrong. But absolutely don’t go any further than you feel comfortable with at this time. Have strong boundaries. But you need to first decide what your boundaries are. Are you waiting until marriage etc?
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 11:07 AM
3

Do you want to be a SAHM right now? I presume not since you mention career so much in your post. So the red pill way would be to relax and let your man lead. He should be the one with a vision for your life and planning towards this. But at 21 I don’t blame him for not being there yet! You can’t change someone’s timeline, that’s childish. If you do want to be a SAHM now or within next few years, id advise to find someone that can provide for that right now. Don’t let your parents hold you back. …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 05:28 PM
1

That’s insane! So sorry to hear. I’ll definitely read up on this
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 03:49 PM
1

I think it’s more about reading people accurately, having empathy, being diplomatic etc, rather than getting attention or being well read. What you describe definitely sounds more masculine, because you’re trying to prove yourself. Feminine communication can be saying a few words but making people feel at ease and comfortable. Letting others take the spotlight.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 03:31 PM
1

Thanks for sharing. Wow sounds like a narcissistic personality. 100% agree on watching actions!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 03:29 PM
1

Do you mind sharing more about ignoring signs that led to your marriage failing? Sorry to hear that
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 02:59 PM
6

The fact that he’s gone into so much detail about his past conquests is a bit concerning. After only 4 months.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 02:20 PM
3

Yikes that could be another explanation. Maybe OP had a gut feeling something is off.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 02:17 PM
1

Well I can only advise you to look out for other flags in his present behaviour. Otherwise it seems you’re being too theoretical about your relationship, instead of basing it in reality. If you feel in your gut there’s something wrong, you should trust that and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 02:12 PM
3

There’s too many variables in your statement. Neither a man or woman should be pushing to meet their partners kids very early on, and asking for too many details. It should happen in an established relationship. Personally I’d say 6 month minimum and marriage take. For both men and women. Now, if a woman is especially keen to met her male partners kids after a few dates, I’d be less suspicious yes. But still it would be too early.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 01:54 PM
2

Sorry to say that’s unlikely. Most predators are men.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 01:44 PM
3

Masculine energy is power, achievement etc. Feminine energy is beauty, poise, communication skills … both extremes coming together quite nicely
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 10:28 AM
9

You’re both so young … thinking about being a SAHM when your boyfriend is 21 seems so premature. Is he even bringing this up, or it’s just you? The way I see it you have two options - enjoy the relationship for what it is, be more in the moment. OR remain single while you focus on your career and improve yourself, and in a few years start aiming for men that are slightly older, ready to settle down and more successful.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 08:18 AM
2

The kids things… those men were probably predators. It’s sadly very common
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 10:53 PM
6

Congratulations! May i ask what your job is, since you say you feel no stress from it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 03:17 PM
22

But there’s plenty of work from home jobs that aren’t sex work … OF is just another form of sex work like camming, phone sex hotlines etc… so there’ll always be women who do this. I think it just blew up because the unique tech/social media format.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 10:07 AM
0

It bothers and scares you based on what though? Is this baggage from a past relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 09:51 AM
3

How has this reflected in his behaviour and affected the relationship? Because it seems like you bought up the topic to have something to complain about.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 02:02 AM
1

Who bought up the topic? Do you feel he’s in love with you yet? When men are deeply in love they tend to want to make their woman happy. Many say they don’t want kids and turn about and have them years later, it’s true.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 05:04 PM
0

How does that affect you? Are you married?
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 08:58 AM
1

This is fantastic! Very thorough, thank you
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/23 04:58 PM
1

Good question
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 08:27 PM
4

It seems like you’ve rushed into a new relationship following your divorce without proper VETTING. Honestly this is the number one thing you need to do before progressing with a new man. With proper vetting and pacing his behaviour would have been revealed before you moved and invested so much. Please have higher standards for yourself next time, and take time to get to know the man, and be assured he’s in love etc …
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 08:25 PM
3

First of all please stop paying for anything. He has more than enough to support you. Start saving up that money. Do you have any family or friends nearby that can help out? Spend time with you and the baby etc?
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 11:15 AM
17

Only accept dates in public until you’re ready to be intimate. So when he asked that say ‘I’ll prefer to go out’ etc … If he gets upset, he’s not the man for you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 01:26 PM
1

“ He is quite interested in other women. He has had many past sexual partners/girlfriends …” After reading this part, he’s a next for me. You’re young and can do better. It doesn’t sound like he’s head over heels for you if other women have his attention. Please don’t normalise this behaviour, or make excuses because he’s a doctor or whatever. I was worried I wouldn’t find a man who isn’t obsessed with sex/porn culture in this day and age, but they are out there. At the start look for green flag…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 09:23 AM
24

What do you want us to do with all this information? Not sure what advice you want.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 08:47 AM
2

That’s not really a relationship history … Also do you know how attractive these women even were? Maybe he turned them down because they are unattractive to him and masculine. What does it have to do with you?
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/23 11:18 PM
7

How old are you both, and how wide is the distance? Because 6 months seems a very long time to wait. Have flights etc been booked for that already? Did you sleep together yet? If he said ‘he doesn’t want to miss the opportunity’ it seems he considers this to be a LDR.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 04:06 PM
1

No…. porn is harmful and addictive. If your husband wants you to emulate what he sees, or entertains OF ‘whores’, he has a problem sorry to say. Sex should be an intimate and loving activity.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:12 AM
1

I’m interested to know what you mean by ‘went after him’. Did he mostly persue you or you also chased him a bit?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 02:35 PM
1

Thank you, that’s fascinating!
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 08:16 AM
1

Wow you are blessed! He sounds like a true provider. My favourite is the heart shaped foods 😍
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 08:15 AM
6

Thanks for sharing your story! Was your husband very wealthy when you first met, or did he increase his wealth during your marriage? You mentioned you stopped working after 2 months of dating to travel with him. Did he bring that up first, and what was the process like? What do you do to make him feel appreciated and loved?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:00 AM
1

But what about when you say they are obsessed with health and wellness?
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 11:37 PM
5

Sounds lovely! Strange name though 😂
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/23 06:50 AM
1

Yes but not strictly. I try to look at this rationally. In any case, it seems OP is a troll since she never responded to any comments! 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 03:46 PM
0

Thanks for explaining further. I do think ‘kink’ is inherently unhealthy. Firstly for mental health reasons, and secondly as a gateway for unhealthy activities. There are a millions ways this could turn bad… having numerous sexual partners is unhealthy, undergoing dangerous procedures to change your sex is unhealthy, being aroused by violent porn is unhealthy and so on.. Sorry if I sound extremely judgemental, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 05:25 PM
0

Thanks for taking the time to reply. this is an area I’m very interested in, and I’ll watch the video when I get a moment. I agree more people need to explore why they are turned on by certain things and express this in a healthy way. Unfortunately sex is a relational act for the most part. When you’re involving other people some degree of self control is needed IMO. I know it’s not exactly the same, but I suppress my urge to eat cheesecake and donuts all day becuase I don’t want to develop a su…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 10:54 PM
1

Well I’d be interested to learn more about how people develop fetishes from childhood? I’m not convinced it’s something uncontrollable though. Why do you think so? It’s not a healthy behaviour, and like alcohol or food addiction, we can learn to change our habits - if we have the conviction to do so.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 08:23 PM
2

This was disturbing to read, run away girl. A man discussing other women this early is a red flag. Trying to make you jealous is a red flag. Watching porn instead of being excited to be with you is a red flag. Discussing his sexual escapades isn’t red flag. Having friends who solicit prostitutes is a red flag. And all in 2 months! It will get worse
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 08:17 PM
11

I’m sorry but encouraging someone to ‘get on board’ with a sexual fetish/addiction is not good advice. We have to stop normalising these things, they are literally destroying marriages everyday.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 07:18 PM
2

I’m so sorry you’re going though this. It seems your husband has developed a sexual fetish… most likely linked from porn. Are you aware of porn addiction? I’m surprised you’ve just discovered his sexual toy collection, this just have been going on for a long time. I think the only way to handle this is to confront him about this unhealthy addiction and encourage him to give it up. It’s no different to alcohol addiction for example.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 07:16 PM
2

Yes it is, because it’s all hypothetical. Now if your boyfriend bought the topic up himself, that’s a different story. I’d suggest to stop listening to such podcasts and find more wholesome content. Something as innocent as a podcast can have a big impact on our psyches and worldview.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 03:53 PM
1

So what? She doesn’t know this man well enough and he has the power to hurt her. I don’t think that’s superficial, it’s self care. Yes I agree there’s such a thing an intuition. But if OP had strong intuition that this man was the one, trust me she wouldn’t be asking us for advice. 9 times out of 10 we ask for advice when we know something is wrong but can’t put our finger on what. Meeting the one will give you a sense of calm and reassurance. You won’t need to ask for advice after one date. You…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 02:01 PM
0

I disagree. A HVM will not secure you just because you keep your options open. He will secure you because he wants to, regardless if you’re dating others (no intimacy of course). However, keeping options open is what helps the woman to stay centred and level-headed in a brand new relationship. It is for her benefit, not to encourage a man to do anything. I did not recommend her to disclose this, it’s her own business. Regarding the illness, my issue is not timing. It’s the two cancellations that…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 01:49 PM
-4

This is a bit ridiculous. Firstly… why were you both watching such a podcast promoting these values? And then YOU bought up the question first. At what point did your boyfriend come to you asking to step out of the relationship? It seems you’re insecure and looking for ways to poke holes in your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 01:42 PM
-5

What game? I believe interest is shown through consistency. Bottom line is he hasn’t been so far, no matter the reason. I’m not sure what the health issue is, but if he’s rescheduled his trip, he should be able to get a date in the diary for OP
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 03:06 PM
3

I feel sorry for him, but if his health issues are getting in the way of a new relationship, he’s not a great candidate at the moment. How do you know he’s not dating others? It’s much too soon to know after one date. Keep your options open.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 03:04 PM
9

Trust your instincts. There’s no good reason for him to do this. Be alert for any other red flags going forward
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 02:01 PM
-2

Not if the feelings are centered around a man she’s met once
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 01:54 PM
-2

One date is not enough to show clear interest. You only really know someone after a couple months. If you’re still dating others at this point, a HVM would respect your boundaries but move to take you off the market quickly. Please don’t be desperate after only one date.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 01:53 PM
0

Definitely keep on dating other people. What’s so amazing about an unreliable man?
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 01:51 PM
1

You need to de-centre the act of sex in your life. Sex is important but it’s a really small part of a healthy relationship. Sex is directly linked to relationships, family etc… think about that when choosing a partner. Chemistry can grow over time, especially for women. On the other hand, if you’re only a 5 I’m sure there’s plenty you can do to increase your SMV. Check r/vindicta
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 02:00 PM
1

I love those!!
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 06:12 PM
3

Barefoot Contessa… she’s so warm and motherly. And a great classy hostess! I think there’s one called Pioneer Woman? She’s very family oriented.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 06:12 PM
9

If you want to lock him down, you’re going to need better girl game. You need to be less available and more mysterious, so you pace the relationship and he’s chasing after you. Men need to be excited and persuing. Right now he’s either too relaxed… or just doesn’t think you’re the one. Pull back for a clearer answer. Spending everyday together is not the way to do this. Don’t even bring up your move to him again. Quietly make your plans and wait for him to ask you about it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 04:20 PM
6

I’ve read your whole post, and working away for 2/3 months at a time could explain why he follows those accounts. He probably needs some stimulation from somewhere. What industry is this, and is it very male dominated? I had a similar experience with a diplomat type, who relied on only fans type stuff as he was unable to date normally for months at a time. It’s possible he will reduce the use of these pages once he’s in a relationship… hopefully he will rely on you for that type of stimulation. …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 10:27 AM
62

To answer your initial question.. yes. It’s a gateway to porn addiction
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 08:49 AM
2

Well Egyptians are still Arabs culturally. Op - I think Egypt is more relaxed country than some. You’ll just have to observe over a few months and find out how compatible you are. Don’t stress the parent thing for now- just tell your mom you’re going on a date but leave out specifics
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 08:57 PM
13

It’s probably related to timing. When you feel like telling people about a new relationship, it means it’s at a turning point. Either it will go the distance or fizzle. These men probably sense the turning point and therefore bail before it gets too serious. But don’t worry! most of your relationships will fail. You only need one. Be thankful they’re out of your way, and you’re closer to meeting mr right.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 08:23 PM
2

Thank you so much. You’re right, I am scared it could all go left, but it’s better to be in reality and figure out if he’s a good match. The post you linked is terrifying!
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/23 09:07 AM
2

Thank you! yes I hope to have more discussions about this, and articulate why it’s so important to me.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 03:36 PM
5

I like these conversation ideas!
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 03:11 PM
2

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 03:10 PM
11

First, you’re going to need to stop being so apologetic about what you want. Your post comes across as if you don’t deserve it, and like you’re pleading to find such a man. You don’t need 101 logical reasons why you want a provider. It’s a biological desire that many women want, even though society has led us to believe you’re only valuable if you work outside the home. Be confident in your desire and there’s on doubt you’ll find a man on the same page as you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 01:00 PM
1

What’s with all the prejudice? Arab doesn’t mean religious. The term encompasses many ethnicities and cultures. OP - where exactly is he from and is his family religious?
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/23 05:19 PM
2

Arrange some pre-marriage counselling sessions?
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/23 03:48 PM
1

Err red flags everywhere. When he asked to see you again, he only offered to meet at his place. Did he ever offer to take you out since then? Courtship should be public dates only for at least a month or two. Having a nightcap at his place after is ok, but certainly not the entire date. Being hot and cold in his communication. Asking someone to be official via text is very lame anyway. Why didn’t he wait until he’s back from his trip, take you out and ask then? No communication for 3 days when t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 06:52 PM
1

This is a crucial time to get busy with your own life, and pace the relationship. Men fall in love during your absence, so remember that. They also don’t like excessive communication, so relax and look forward to your next date.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 06:33 PM
4

I don’t like how he pulled a switcharoo on you. Has he bought up a future with you yet? And what is his financial situation? It’s possible he’s losing interest and now unwilling to invest in the relationship. Also what so great about smart and sensitive in this context? How does this apply to your relationship? Don’t focus on the wrong things. Is he masculine?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 06:21 PM
2

I think the human qualities are just letting your angelic qualities shine through? If you understand men well, you naturally will act more feminine around them, and so on …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 05:18 PM
1

I think it tends to happen when the man is not super passionate about the woman at the start. Many men marry for convenience, not because he found his dream woman.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 08:06 PM
3

Sex should absolutely be deep and meaningful
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 07:53 PM
7

I’d say disclose trauma when you feel he’s falling in love with you. Not just because he says you’re exclusive, or after some arbitrary time period. This usually happens after a few months if things are going well, but can be quicker.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:53 PM
6

First of all you sound too intense for such an early stage of the relationship. Bringing up serious discussions like that are a turn off in what should be the honeymoon stage. If you’re not happy with a man’s behaviour, just pull back. It’s the only action they understand. Secondly, I don’t think you lost too much here. You’re spiritual and he’s opposite. If he was interested in you, similar men with compatible values will be too.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:50 PM
2

Well don’t feel bad about him paying. He probably enjoys it and can afford it. He wants to show he’s a provider. You’re doing your part by being pleasant feminine company. Just be appreciative. I think you’re overthinking after only 2 dates. Give him up to 1 month of dates and then reevaluate. And feel free to date others in the meantime.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 12:28 AM
0

Bad media image?? Can you elaborate?
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 09:05 PM
1

Yes I can sense he has a lot going on. I guess this is the hard part about choosing an ambitious man?
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 01:39 AM
1

Very good advice, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 01:37 AM
1

Oh wow, that does sound intense. He’s actually getting a new business off the ground so maybe there is hope here …
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 01:36 AM
3

Yes but I feel like he’s using it as an excuse. I supposed I need to wait and see… time will tell for sure
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/23 07:14 PM
3

Thank you! Yea I have tried to ask him already, and he says it’s just his work deadlines. This does check out as I know some of his colleagues but I still feel something is off. I’ll have to press him more as you said. Good insights about beauty etc. I’d agree and say I’ve been guilty in last relationships, but I have tried to be conscious if that this time. It’s definitely something to think about
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 09:11 PM
1

Thanks so much ☺️
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 09:04 PM
1

Just a few months. I’m avoiding putting exact details. He is from my country but really lives between here and another country at the moment. And may relocate to the other country more permanently. But you’re right, maybe im selecting wrong?
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 09:02 PM
1

Thank you, that’s really helpful. I have to stop being so attached and dramatic. I think I spend too much time online reading about people having such perfect relationships
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 08:39 PM
2

Thank you. I generally am but I did get very excited and hopeful about this. Love bombing could explain it, but I’ve known men like that he doesn’t seem that type. He’s very inexperienced
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 03:02 PM
2

His communication has changed and he’s not as attentive as before. We are meant to be planning a trip soon and he hasn’t bought it up. I feel like he’s over it and like I’ve messed up somewhere
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 02:51 PM
3

Sounds like he watches too much Andrew Tate and porn. Sad, seems like he has the foundations to be a good man but his mindset has been tainted. I would not proceed. How old are you both? When you say provider mindset, how has he demonstrated this?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 11:37 AM
8

I agree the woman is also to blame in such scenarios, but that doesn’t make it a myth. The problem is many women have no clue when this is happening to them, I’d argue due to the rise of casual sex and other factors. But that’s another discussion …
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 10:10 PM
2

As you said, the masters in temporary so that’s good! Let’s think positively. Life is full of sacrifices, especially if you want the best for you and your family. Grinding for his business will also be temporary, as business owners can generally outsource when they become successful. Plus with his family support there’s little risk. Finally, helping him cope with stress is what a high value red pill girlfriend/wife is for! Start thinking about how you can make his life easier as he enters this c…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 09:58 PM
12

Unless I’m missing something here, I don’t understand why you’d be upset that your boyfriend wants a masters degree and his own business when you have those same things? Why is it ok for you to do it? It sounds like you want to hold him back… think deeply about this, sounds like insecurities on your side?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 09:09 PM
5

A timeline of 10 years is so far fetched. But from what you said his timeline is irrelevant because he’s happy to go with yours? So it’s up to you to decide if you’re happy with that offer.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 08:36 PM
4

So by him taking it back, is that not using her as a placeholder? He clearly enjoys the relationship as it is now so wants her around, but may still want to keep his options open. I presume she stayed because she still has some inkling of hope. But I think she needs to be very direct at the 12 month mark.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 05:48 PM
3

I think you are trying to control the situation too much. You can’t decide HOW he proposes and how he’s feeling. Let him put his money where his mouth is… if he’s willing to do what you want, tell him your timeline and see what he does. You’ll have your answer then.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 05:37 PM
21

But men do often use women as placeholders. It’s a legit concern to have, and 99% of men would never admit that directly. OP has to figure out if he’s being genuine with his ‘timeline’ or if he’s ambivalent about her. It could be either. However, her instincts seem to be saying the latter.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 05:35 PM
1

Thanks for sharing! Jaw area can affect your looks so much, glad you got good results from that
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 09:03 PM
1

What changes did you make to your appearance?
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/23 12:36 AM
1

Equity
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/23 12:33 AM
13

She’s saying rep pill men are equivalent to angry feminists and I agree
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 12:17 AM
7

He spoke to your mum yes, but I’m pretty sure he was interested in you. When women are in groups, men will often approach the woman they’re least attracted to first because of nerves. He literally pointed at you
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/23 02:04 PM
1

Hmm I actually wish I was more savage when it comes to love, but I do get genuine deep feelings for every man I’ve been involved with. Majority of relationships have been with more nerdy guys because our personalities mesh well, so I’m not ONLY choosing men based on their success. Furthermore, so many men lead with their wealth etc because they know this is a big part of their attractiveness. Just like I accentuate my looks and figure on dates. Why pretend otherwise? But … if you have any tips o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/23 05:06 PM
1

I agree about FDS. I think it’s very harsh in tone because honestly many women these days won’t listen otherwise. It appeals to the masculinised woman of today I suppose. I think the rules is somewhere in between. It quite aggressive about filtering men out at the start. But teaches you to be very accepting and feminine one you find a good guy
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/23 04:53 PM
2

If it’s worrying you a lot, he should be the one flying to you in this situation, as the man. Otherwise he could send money for your ticket. Red pill women is partly about finding masculine men who want to provide right?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 09:31 PM
2

Also sometimes I feel like I’m following so much advice from books and this group, and I don’t know if any of it is working for me
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 08:06 PM
2

Can you elaborate? I mainly follow the surrendered single anyway
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 07:35 PM
2

I’ve read surrendered single and the rules and I pretty much follow that. So I can’t imagine I come across like the above. If anything I’d say I could be too aloof and laid back. I always let the man lead and expect him to court me properly. I could come across as high maintenance??
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 05:02 PM
2

What does it mean to throw red flags?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 03:49 PM
5

Thank you! I’d say I’ve been doing all this for a while. It so frustrating when you finally click with someone after all the dating and socialising and looksmaxxing, and then suddenly it’s back to square one 🥲
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 07:54 AM
1

So sorry to hear this, doesn’t seem like he’s all in and probably excited about acting single in Europe. If he was more into the relationship I feel like he would have asked you so join him there for some time. Also I wouldn’t get intimate with a man before he’s made it extremely clear he sees a future with you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 12:41 AM
7

Thank you for the advice. Based on the relationships around me, it does seem like I have high standards. It’s like women make it so easy for men, and men take advantage. I don’t want a man who’s with me because it’s comfortable. I am looking for a driven and successful man who can lead the relationship and provide. I want passion. I admit I have been princessesy in the past but much better these days. I have eased up on looks, so he doesn’t need to be very tall or handsome…but what more could I …
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/23 11:16 PM
7

I would consider up to late 40s. Biggest gap was 10 years, but I don’t mind 15 or so. I say age appropriate because many 50+ men are secretly married, separated or in other messy situations. And often jaded.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/23 10:32 PM
1

If he didn’t message you for 3 weeks, I’m pretty sure he’s not interested. Did he message you at all on Valentine’s Day?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/23 06:30 PM
1

I’m asking for ideas because I’d usually get my partner a physical experience or gift. Not sure what to do due to the distance
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/23 11:17 PM
2

That’s a cute idea! And it’s not too over the top. Thank you
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/23 11:16 PM
20

I’m not sure why you needed to tell him that in the first place. Secondly men know very early on if they see you for the long haul, and as wife material. If he’s so unhappy with you, I’m wondering why he’s still in the relationship? Oh yes, to reap the many benefits you’re providing. I would seriously reconsider this relationship, and be more discreet about your past next time.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 12:24 AM
1

You struck gold because he offered to buy you a meal? This is just courtship basics… I would continue seeing him and observe how consistent and reliable he is over time. Also don’t make it obvious you’re in love with him 👀
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 11:05 PM
10

‘Type’ can be a broad term, it could mean women with a certain aesthetic not necessarily hair colour or race etc. If a man approaches you first and pursues you, you’re 98% his type. Now, if you’re dating a man and he seems to drool over celebrities that look opposite to you, it’s a pink flag. He may be too insecure to go for the girl he really wants, which will reflect in how he treats you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 04:11 PM
2

Great post. Would love to hear your thoughts on what equivalent traits in women would look like. If like attracts like, the couple would be in the same ‘category’ right?
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 03:15 PM
2

So useful, I’ve gotten ticked by a man like this, who had an outward appearance of success and integrity. When I dig deeper his true values seems to be hedonism, money etc. I couldn’t get my head around it!
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 09:53 AM
2

Would you be open to sharing more about your story? Your husband sounds like a catch. How did you meet each other and how did you act during the courtship etc?
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 10:31 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 05:27 PM
2

Thanks for your reply, I’m learning! I’m so used to ‘playing hard to get’ … what should the courtship phase look like if you’re dealing with a HVM? How forward should a woman be? I’ve mentioned before I’m getting more HVM interest but not turning into long term yet. Still improving myself everyday too.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 07:40 AM
1

Interesting take, but what about the theory that most men have a ‘dream girl’ they would try hard to impress, regardless of how attractive or popular the man is. Wouldn’t a HVM chase a girl if he finds her a cut above the rest?
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/22 11:22 PM
2

He chased you so I suppose it’s red pill! Why did you resist for so long?
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 11:25 PM
1

What were the specific things you did to get commitment?
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 11:01 AM
2

Thank you, I like the idea of baking!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 07:59 PM
1

Yes liquor, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 05:39 AM
1

As in alpha with done beta traits mixed in
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 05:38 AM
2

Thank you! Doesn’t need to be a gift, that’s mine actually 😅. I think his language could be acts of service
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 05:38 AM
1

The call advice is outdated. It refers to when people only had landlines so naturally would miss some calls when out of the house. The deeper meaning is that you’re not staring at your phone waiting for his call, and texting him back in seconds. It should be natural, so respond to texts and call after work, not on Saturday night when you should be socialising for example.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 08:01 PM
1

I think we can be cheerful and happy to see a man we’re dating and simultaneously not be at his beck and call. Remember the rules is only dating and early commitment stage, not marriage or LTR
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 07:57 PM
2

Where does it say don’t return calls and be too busy for dates? What they mean is have a full and busy life, so he actually had to plan to see you. And waiting a few dates at least for sex
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 07:54 PM
1

It’s for a different stage of the relationship
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 07:51 PM
1

I think the basic principles are so red pill! It so logical and unemotional sometimes lol
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 06:26 PM
2

Hopefully I’ll be reading that one soon!
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 06:25 PM
11

Maybe make an effort to be more charming and personable. Try and be more relatable, so they don’t feel so insecure. It’s sad, but you’ll have to go over and beyond due to your looks. Otherwise look for a new role. No need to be this stressed everyday.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 06:15 PM
6

I think you’re both right in a sense, and just referring to men in different ‘categories’. Ripuli - what you say about women having sex fast with men they’re highly attracted to… how do you know they aren’t jumping into bed because of social norms, encouragement of ‘hook-up culture’, and media depicting casual sex? It may not be as related to the specific man as you think
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 10:51 PM
4

Amazing stuff, I’m literally having an epiphany here. I read a dating book that suggested getting a small meaningful gift and see if he reciprocates with a bigger gift. Makes a lot of sense.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 09:59 PM
4

Thank you! So you’re saying some men will know a woman is more conservative but still try to have sex early in because the ‘prudishness’ is a turn on?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 09:53 PM
6

The links you posted are amazing … the best way I’ve seen to deal with the current climate of casual sex. Old fashioned dating rules haven’t gotten me very far and I’m very hypergamous and live in a big city. My long term ex was category 4 no doubt! But I want a super successful and driven man. If a man takes you on dates can he still be category 2? Or what are the ways to know?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 08:01 PM
3

Good points, thank you. To be honest, I don’t know them intimately. I also say high value from at surface level, like looks, success, social circle etc. I will be vetting more carefully!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 07:43 PM
10

Thank you! This makes a lot of sense. I suppose there are just very confident. I wouldn’t say they are pushy or disrespectful, just very suggestive at times
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 07:40 PM
8

That isn’t good advice. It’s a pink flag if he has a physical preference opposite to your looks. Please trust your intuition here, it NEVER lies. I would keep my eyes open to any more signs of pornsick behaviour.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/22 01:22 PM
1

Try this video! https://youtu.be/10WdlMU4OAo He is referring to how alcohol affects brain chemistry but I strongly believe you can apply these same principles to porn addiction. He discussed the various supplements to take to restore brain chemistry https://youtu.be/10WdlMU4OAo
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/22 08:33 PM
2

That was great, thank you
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 12:45 PM
1

I’ve done a lot of online dating in the past, and met an ex there. A few friends met their husbands on various apps. But I’ve noticed the men online tend to be very average or have a lot of baggage. The men I meet in real life are much better quality. Anyway, my question was more about captivating a high value man who may have many options once you meet in real life
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 07:22 AM
2

Nice to hear you had success on bumble! You’re right, I need to envision where my ideal man would be
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 10:41 PM
1

Thank you! I do feel like there are certain things that can give you more of an edge though?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 08:55 PM
1

Yes it will make a difference. Even your facial features will look better when they’re less ‘puffy’. Slender neck, dainty hands etc
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 07:32 PM
2

Oh ok, good point. What would they care about then?
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 01:02 AM
0

Thank you. I’m not looking for a rich hunk, just a professional man (as I am) who shares my values, but I suppose super hard in my liberal city. When I say divorced men, I mean men who take no responsibility for the marriage breakdown and the ink isn’t even dry on the papers.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 09:14 AM
1

Yes I have tried dating apps over the years, but I found compatible men were really needles in a haystack. I think the best one was Tinder, as literally everyone is on there, single , married etc 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 09:10 AM
0

That’s true. I suppose the issue is I imagine there’s eligible men out there, but Im not coming across them. The men I personally come across aren’t relationship/marriage material - older, divorced, low income etc. Regarding my personality, I’ve had compliments on it. I actually work in events and PR, and I’m successful at it. It’s a very social and client facing role. Thinking more deeply, I think I have confidence issues around eligible men, which may hinder me showing of my nice personality a…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:15 PM
1

Thank you! You are right that there’s many married men around, so it’s tough. 💕💕 I did meet my ex an an app (lol) but I think it was luck as we had both just joined. Haven’t had that same luck again. We were together 2 years including covid/lockdown so I took longer to end it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 08:21 PM
2

What paid dating apps/websites would you recommend?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 06:43 PM
2

I’m in various professional and networking groups that organise regular events. Specific hobbies I have are wine tasting, traditional dance and golf
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 06:00 PM
5

What do you mean? I shouldn’t have hobbies at 30?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 03:20 PM
15

I can definitely be aloof or a bit awkward. Within the social groups I try to be open but maybe I need to work on confidence
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:04 PM
3

Fair enough, but don’t you agree it would be odd for a woman to propose? So therefore its also out of the norm to initiate a relationship with the intention of leading to marriage
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:30 AM
1

Thanks for the article! And yea current societal norms makes this complicated. Has using this method worked for you and women you know? Would be interested in heading some examples. I’m also very much into the rules so this is new to me
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:27 AM
3

Thanks for your responses btw. Comment below explains well so I can see your point
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:22 AM
1

Does proposing to a man also show courage?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:18 AM
11

Err I thought RP promotes gender roles, and moving a relationship forward is masculine correct?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 10:51 AM
5

Sorry you’re having a hard time too 💕 Hopefully we can both get some guidance here
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 10:49 AM
8

The extra effort goes towards me feeling great about myself too, which I do. But I also thought it would help with men approaching me etc. Yes I accept dates when asked, but it’s not as frequent as I thought.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 10:47 AM
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