Hello all, looking for some advice as I’m possibly heading towards engagement.

It turns out there’s some things about me my boyfriend is not fully happy with, mainly to do with my ‘independence’.

I’m early 30s and moved back home during lockdown, and didn’t move out yet. This is partly because we live in a major city that’s costs $$$ and I wanted to reduce spending and pay down some debts before hopefully getting married etc.

When I met him it seems more unnecessary to get a long lease as we discussed living together.

My boyfriend obviously knew at the time, and was fine with it. But now one year later he’s worried I’m too dependent on my family and wants assurance I can be more self reliant, if we are to start a life together. It’s like he doesn’t want me to depend on him too much?

But there’s a contradiction in his actions, because he likes to pay for everything, and quite generous with gifts. He had some work issues this year (he’s self-employed) and still didn’t really ask me to contribute, even though I did what I could. However, his work issues have slowed down our plans as he needs to save up a bit more before relocating to my city (or another city, we’re flexible). Maybe why he’s hoping to see more independence from me?

I also think he’s kinda resents all the family support I have, or finds it strange, as he was raised by him mom alone, and she worked full-time and never found a partner. So now he kinda supports her too.

I’ve already told him I’d like to be a housewife, but we settled on me starting a business whilst at home, and he won’t expect me to contribute much financially. However I’m working full time now, and again he seemed annoyed I didn’t make much progress on my business yet, like he’s doubting me and worried about the independence again. He saying he wants to see more drive etc, which is fair enough and I admit I am in a comfort zone.

He doesn’t always seem to grasp the positives of a full time mom, and someone to hold the household together. He sees it like something I want, but I see it as a benefit for everyone. I’ve always been very feminine and ‘dainty’ and he loves it and acts very masculine, but can’t seem to logically accept that in his brain? It’s odd.

What’s the best way to navigate all this? It’s causing me to feel stress and insecurity about the relationship.

To add a positive note, he’s been very patient with me during these discussions, and gives me a lot of time and attention. He is very generous, hard-working, reliable, plans lovely dates, prioritises me, we have a great attraction towards each other

Sorry this is long! Wanted to add all the details, as big decisions lie ahead! Thanks for reading!