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JLALJL Archive

View 8 posts and 58 comments by JLALJL on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That is tough! Keep kicking ass and moving forward!!!
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 09:49 AM
4

I have been in your shoes. Huge mental health issues. I’ll break down a few. 1. Used alcohol as medication for her mental illness 2. Out until all hours of the night during week. 3. I cared for our young son from the house of 6pm until I took him to babysitter. Sometimes she would go to work sometimes not. 4. She stayed in bed and never woke up to tell her son goodbye. 5. If I didn’t agree or say “yes” with an enthusiastic tone that meant a no to her. Later she was diagnosed with BPD. I left. I …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 06:01 PM
6

Stay strong! It’s a kick in the old di*k for sure and it hurts!! A few things I’ve been doing is updating my house. This weekend all new baseboards. I will also decorate his room when he’s gone. I painted his room hung fat heads up. When he comes back “home” as he calls it. His room is clean and some times he’s got a new spider man up! I’ve become a neat freak. Clean house before bed. Idk I guess I’m just trying to “fill” my cup! Hang in there dad!! You are doing a fantastic job. My only advice …
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:15 AM
2

I’d add not posters but fat heads of characters!!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 01:57 AM
3

First and foremost who gives a sh*t abt other dads!! You be the man you want to be for YOUR kids!! I think the yelling thing is huge to keep to a minimum!! Before bed and before school two worst times!!! Next “clean”. I have a two year old our clean is no garbage and dishes in sink or dishwasher counter tops clean. Laundry… do they have clean clothes? Do you on most days… great winning!!! Plan with a 2/4 year old. Might as well throw those out! Bud sounds like you got this!! I’m new at this as w…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:39 AM
3

That’s so awesome you guys did Christmas yesterday?!? Did they look for Santa the night before? Leave out snacks?! What were their favorite gifts?! Bet you are excited to get your kids back! Any big plans!! What was their reaction when Santa came?! Ah man oh man I bet that was awesome:) These are all the things I think about when I miss my two year old son! I also cleaned the house last night bc he woke up at my house on eve and woke up at her house today. Try not to sit in the shit too long. Cl…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:41 PM
1

My goal is to never make him miserable for holidays!! He’s 2 and I just want him to love holidays. Even if I take a hit once in a while! Santa can come whenever! Thanksgiving is same way!!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 01:24 AM
1

This is our first year. I had him starting Friday and he wakes up at my house Christmas Eve and we will do Christmas just he and I. Then we will go to my family’s stuff. Son will go to ex house 6pm Xmas Eve. She will get him until Monday. It’s so much better than running him all over!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 12:55 AM
4

This could be lots of things! First he has full custody so he’s got it all on his plate. Not always easy! I think you just straight up tell him how you feel!
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:08 AM
3

No booze sounds “silly”. I’m here to say. I can definitely early on I feel it! If I get drunk next time I’m in my emotions feeling like shit. If not I feel like a million dollars!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:30 PM
2

Panic attacks unable to go to work
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:03 PM
6

I don’t miss having to be responsible for how she was feeling g and then to fix it!!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:33 PM
4

I’m not even two weeks into this process. We are still living in the same house and that part is extremely hard. We are doing a day shift and a night shift with our son. I will say this other than having to see her here it’s fucking awesome!! Hate to say that. But for myself to be a better dad not being with her is the answer!! It’s going to be hard and I get that but here we go!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 08:05 PM
0

I’m in the same boat!!! In reality my marriage was bad for a long time and had enough!! She has also said some hateful stuff the last few days!! Yesterday she wanted “closure” and “clarity”. We talked some but I don’t think I can give her what she needs. She tells me she can barely make it through a whole day. Then how are you watching our son?! I don’t like she’s hurting but this is the best choice for me. This would be easier if one of us could move out. We are selling the house so will be in …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:58 AM
1

My situation was terrible. While going through divorce with a young kid it’s bad. I’d rather have bad than terrible!! We are in the same house currently. Hopefully someone comes to buy it this week and it’s on the way to closing!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 05:47 PM
1

Not leaving!!! The house will sell and we will both be moving lol.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:46 PM
2

Hell yes!!! I am putting offer in on house as I type! Wouldn’t move until this house is sold. Going on market early next week
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:20 AM
3

Yes, feel terrible with my son that this didn’t work out. I tried and can no longer live an unhappy life. Not for me. I understand that these feelings will come and go but I’m excited to move to being happy. I’ve been seeing a therapist. In March I started twice a week. Now once. And I think it’s been a godsend.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 02:36 PM
5

Thanks for the email!! We went to counseling we have tried it all she takes zero responsibility to where we are. You are welcome to check my other posts. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 11:55 AM
1

Don’t disagree!! I’m meeting with a lawyer tomorrow…. I have not moved out. She says she hasn’t met with a lawyer yet. Which we can all agree that’s probably bullshit. Anyways. I’m staying here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 10:06 PM
3

I will not be moving out. I have stayed at my sisters house but nothing like moving out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 12:00 PM
1

Yes 1
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 11:33 AM
1

Well I did. Because she sent me a text message asking me. Now I have a record of her asking and me not just leaving
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 10:05 AM
1

Well I did, I went to my sisters. Hopefully meet with lawyer tomorrow or next day. She sent text stating her mental wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 03:41 AM
2

Haha… she did tell me how to feel and what I can or can’t say. Or if my tone wasn’t right.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 03:31 AM
1

Yeah, I’m in that group!! Def. Not telling her that I think that’s what it is. The shit of it now she’s been “nice” and accommodating. I’m worried abt what she might say when I told her “i tried” and now I’m done. I’m going to dinner with sister tonight. Hopefully if I drink I can keep my mouth shut!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 08:55 PM
5

After our first session she was mad that I brought up a question and was yelled at when we got into the house. Here lately she’s been “nice” bc she’s afraid of change not bc of me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 08:53 PM
1

Was she ever diagnosed?! My wife hasn’t been is going to individual therapy starting tuesday
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:20 PM
1

That’s spot on “when I say no I feel guilty”
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:16 PM
3

I have not yet besides for ADHD. lol. But I would totally agree with that assessment. I have a feeling shit is about to hit the fan. This is either going to be really really bad or she’s going to move out immediately with her parents.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:53 PM
1

After I tell her I’m done what’s your take on leaving for 48 hrs so there isn’t conflict?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:17 PM
2

I hear you! I’ve already met with a lawyer our income levels are abt the same with her making more than me. Very active in his life so 50/50 will happen. I teach and coach. Biggest asset to split is house.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:01 PM
1

Totally with you!! ADHD I’m pretty aware wake up every morning to workout and it really helps with those things!! My biggest problem is that it’s hard for me to read and follow directions
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:56 PM
2

Thanks for your reply! I have “said the words” but when she went fucking crazy after that I mean it was fucked! She called my mom at 1130pm. I’m hoping this next time I tell her I’m unhappy. And I know she’s unhappy it won’t be so bad? I have half a mind to do it today after my son lays down for his nap! Then I can leave for a few days and her and I can do this like adults? Although pretty sure that can’t happen. The previous three times I asked for therapy were a NO! This time she has agreed bu…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:04 PM
4

It’s hard to do!! I told my wife three weeks ago. I agreed to marriage counseling. Looking someone in the eyes you love or loved and breaking their heart isn’t easy. There is never a good time!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 10:19 AM
1

Would love an update!! Lean on people in here! They are awesome and will shoot you straight!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 06:50 PM
2

My man, god I hope today was awesome for you!!! Just be you!! That’s all she’ll ever need!! Be the great dad you are!!! Let us know how it went!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 01:18 AM
1

Therapy was meh. We did drive together and she said she feels sad that was how I have been feeling. Camping is probably not going to happen…. Her and my son will go for a week and have a good time. Or she won’t and that will be my fault. Or I’ll go and she won’t have a good time and that will also be my fault.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:45 PM
2

You described by situation to a t besides going out with her friends. So far she has told me with the news that changes is going to happen or I’m leaving. She said I’ve made her feel small, I’ve made her unable to eat or function. I feel like those are not me. I have felt responsible for her happiness since day 0
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 07:41 PM
1

Totally agree with you! I take full responsibility of avoiding conflict AT ALL cost. I know I can’t do that any longer!! I not only avoid conflict but then all of it boils up inside so communication is something I need to work on. We spoke again yesterday and she told me she is not sure if SHE will get passed this and it may never be the same again. We start counseling on Monday morning. Totally understand the being a single parent and how hard that is. I don’t doubt that for a moment. Im also a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 07:33 PM
3

Holy cow!!! I just read my life!! Exactly what’s happening here!!! It goes so far I ask to go to bed!!! I told her Tuesday I was done. Monday we will try counseling…. I feel your pain. We have an almost 2 year old.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:03 AM
1

Yes, that would be very scary!! She isn’t currently on meds. But does get drunk when alone with son to where she couldn’t drive him anywhere if needed too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:40 AM
1

So far that’s a fact!!! This has been terrible
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 01:04 AM
1

The conversation didn’t go anywhere really besides now she will go to therapy alone and together. That’s not until Monday morning. After speaking with my therapist today. I have really tried to get out of conflict any way possible. I let her know I’ve been “scared” to ask questions bc I didn’t know what her reactions would be. I need to man up some and stick up for myself at home!! I still can’t believe after the conversations we’ve had she was “blind sided”.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:54 PM
1

What do you mean?!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 08:42 PM
1

She also currently be in the same house with me and our son and watch me be a dad…. It makes her too sad… she asked when I wanted to see him and I said as soon as possible. She asked me to go to her parents house. I asked if they are okay with that and she lost her shit and told me that she would just drive him bck to the house. I’ve texted and asked if she just wanted me to come get him and no response. She’s not emotionally mature enough to handle tough things. Maybe I’m wrong?! I’m not sure s…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:48 PM
1

The sex part isn’t that big of a deal and not the reason for divorce. It’s one of many
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:18 PM
1

We just spoke and it wasn’t great apparently she sees nothing wrong with me. And she thought everything was “good”. She said she will go to counseling. But needs time! She said she is not able to function and how she can’t eat.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:17 PM
1

Yeah! She has asked to meet at noon today to talk abt things!!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 03:03 PM
1

She has now changed the meeting to when I get home after football.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:33 PM
1

Yes, I believe so as well. Hard to “know”. We meet today at 4. I guess that will tell me more.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:05 PM
1

I totally agree with you!!! I don’t know if she can really quit drinking. It’s been daily until drunk. Big bottle of Tito’s in a week. I don’t think she’s cheating there hasn’t been any of that. Totally agree that we need to learn to communicate. I have a list of things to go over today during our meeting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 11:39 AM
1

In 7 years I haven’t seen her at school unless I visit her room.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 11:31 AM
1

I’m somewhat prepared. I have a lawyer lined up and ready to go. I have cash if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:04 AM
1

I’m thinking about recording our “meeting” today.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:02 AM
1

Yeah, she doesn’t have much “drive”. Not sure how hard she will work at any of this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:02 AM
1

Thank you!! I’m going to. I’ll go to counseling if she wants to all of a sudden bc at some point we will have to learn to communicate….this blows.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:01 AM
2

Awesome!! A few things to keep in mind that usually a schedule will help a lot!! Keep her active and involved which I’m sure you already do! The fact you asking is awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 03:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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