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JessePinkman88 Archive

View 2 posts and 294 comments by JessePinkman88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Well that's much better advice than telling someone to use dating apps when they've never used themselves.
/r/seduction30/01/21 01:23 AM
2

No, that means he hasn't dated in 30 years and has no clue. This sub is about meeting people in real life, not through classified ads or dating apps. Also, he never said happily married. Many married people have "settled" for someone that they can tolerate, I would rather not be married than do that personally.
/r/seduction27/01/21 02:49 AM
1

I'm not overweight but yes, I know that testosterone levels will naturally drop as I get older. I have already approached hundreds of girls without much success (years ago) so I am not looking for that mass approach ideology, especially if it does not produce results. But that slogan is good, I am willing to go out and fail to learn. Thanks for your feedback. Any ideas why you didn't get results after all that approaching?
/r/seduction27/01/21 02:03 AM
1

Thanks, yes this is already my intention, so good advice. I'm trying to adopt the mindset that everyone around me is friendly and open to chatting, just so I will be more motivated to talk to anyone and that I am going out to entertain myself (eg. get dinner, see live music) That is my main barrier, I think, to just start talking to strangers when out on my own. Cheers.
/r/seduction27/01/21 01:56 AM
1

Yeah just speaking interchangeably.
/r/seduction26/01/21 10:52 AM
1

My conversation skills are fine and I have given the dating apps many attempts over the last 5-6 years, Tinder and Bumble. The matches I get are usually average to very below average attractiveness, I rarely ever match with a girl I really find pretty (because I'm competing with 100's of other guys). If I really try, yes I can get a date or a hookup with an average girl on dating apps but that's not what I want ultimately. Also, by giving up the dating apps it forces me to have no other options …
/r/seduction26/01/21 03:32 AM
1

Thanks mate, yeah the apps and online dating are tough which is why I'm trying to do things the old fashioned way. Do you try going out or dating in the real world?
/r/seduction26/01/21 03:17 AM
6

If you've never used a dating app then you don't know what it's like and probably shouldn't be giving advice on it.
/r/seduction26/01/21 02:34 AM
2

I don't do very well with dating apps, I get very few matches (average looking guy), I did hook up with a girl off Tinder a couple years ago but she was not very attractive to me. I feel powerless on dating apps, if they work for you, that's great. I want to meet girls in real life.
/r/seduction26/01/21 01:56 AM
1

Haha, I paid $12 the other day for a medium angus meal (Australia) so not far off.
/r/seduction25/01/16 11:26 AM
1

Yeah, mostly sex stories. For me personally, there was not much to learn from it, but it is an interesting and exciting read and he does take the time to describe the mindsets he has adopted. But yeah, I have gotten far more practical advice from the other books I mentioned.
/r/seduction25/01/16 11:25 AM
1

It's on amazon kindle for the cost of a maccas meal. Just easier to buy it.
/r/seduction24/01/16 07:28 AM
3

I wouldn't say Rapid Escalation is better than models, it is more a bunch of stories about when he has slept with girls within minutes or hours of meeting them and it does demonstrate some mindsets and body language that you can adopt to achieve this. It is a good book but models is much more detailed about how to become the attractive guy who can connect deeply with women. I second your nomination of the Nick Sparks book which I read recently. It is a quicker read than Models but for the most p…
/r/seduction24/01/16 07:22 AM
1

Exactly, well said.
/r/seduction10/01/16 10:53 AM
4

By focusing on what he looks like, you miss the entire point of this post. Clearly his looks alone weren't enough to have alot of success with women but since working on better eye contact he has experienced real, tangible changes. Don't look for excuses why this can't work for you too, despite your how you look.
/r/seduction20/12/15 07:10 AM
1

Bartender
/r/seduction14/12/15 09:26 AM
8

The character "Bevers" in the show "Broad City" likes to call his orgasm "jazz", that's where I first heard this. I highly recommend watching this show high ;)
/r/seduction29/11/15 05:01 AM
1

Yes, I think the 1-10 scale is harmful and you are basically admitting that it has hurt you by believing what your brother said. There is nothing wrong with going after the most attractive women that you desire, but rating them 1-10 just on their looks shows a fundamental belief that you are not worthy and need an 8-10 in your life to feel good about yourself. If you approach a woman thinking she is a 10, without knowing her, you've already lost. If you approach her because she's attractive and …
/r/seduction25/11/15 10:33 AM
1

I agree with this, but choose a goal that is somewhat comfortable, talking to 10 new girls a day could be very overwhelming for some and cause them to quit when they fall far short. Start with talking to 1 new person a day and then increase that over time.
/r/seduction25/11/15 10:24 AM
2

I struggle with this too. The conclusion I've come to is it's not about what makes up your lifestyle, but rather the fact that you are taking action to build the lifestyle that you want (and not what others want for you). You are right, you should not compromise on what you like to spend your time doing to appease women or to try meeting more of them. I like gardening and there's been limited opportunities to meet women in my backyard ;) As long as you are reaching towards the lifestyle you want…
/r/seduction19/11/15 10:24 AM
2

Ass Pounders #7
/r/seduction19/11/15 10:15 AM
2

You're coming from a needy mindset. Hotter women are only more work because you are putting them on a pedestal and subtley believe you are unworthy. Therefore you think you have to be someone else to keep them around (eg. "work"). If you actually had solid self esteem, you wouldn't rate women objectively like this. Try going with the binary scale, either she is attractive or not. Forget the other bullshit.
/r/seduction11/11/15 01:32 PM
1

I agree with others here, you should not be ashamed to have standards and to enforce them! This is setting boundaries and helps improve your self esteem. You are probably just feeling bad about giving up an opportunity to get laid, but you probably would have felt worse by forcing yourself to do what you don't really want.
/r/seduction08/11/15 06:57 AM
2

He worded it badly, because Mark Manson does not promote techniques. He teaches you to be vulnerable, invest in yourself and be the best person you can be so that you are naturally attractive. He has some guidelines on dating, body language and communication but it is pretty much standard advice to use once you have sorted your other shit out.
/r/seduction08/11/15 06:55 AM
1

Yes, you went in with a fun, casual attitude without worrying about the outcome. Well done! Others in this thread seem to be getting hung up on the game itself or waking a sleeping woman, they are missing the whole point!
/r/seduction07/11/15 06:48 AM
1

Say nothing and just go for it. If you're willing to get rejected/turned down, that is the most confident, non-needy attitude you can have.
/r/seduction06/11/15 08:46 AM
17

There is nothing really wrong with this, except you were subtley asking for permission (which is somewhat needy). They were obviously both receptive so you could have just kissed them without saying anything. The point being, there are no magic lines or words that will get a girl to kiss you. You already set up the good vibe and had them attracted, so give yourself some credit!
/r/seduction05/11/15 12:48 AM
1

I see where you're coming from, but honestly if someone is looking above my eyes, I feel like they are staring at a freckle or a smudge on my face and it makes ME feel uncomfortable. If you want to work your way up to it, just glance into their eyes and look away and then progressively make the eye contact longer and longer. If you're not feeling slightly uncomfortable with it, then you're not really making progress and I feel like your suggestion is a way of avoiding the feelings involved inste…
/r/seduction05/11/15 12:43 AM
1

She's your neighbour, of course she's going to be friendly as she has to see you in and around her home. Women often don't do harsh rejections as they are afraid how you will respond. If she's making excuses, sorry mate, she's not into you.
/r/seduction04/11/15 11:25 AM
1

Forget about kissing and just focus on getting closer with the girl. Eg. Touching shoulders together when talking Sitting on a couch with legs touching Holding hands If you go in for the kiss without getting close first, it may well surprise her as you've not shown her you're interested in her.
/r/seduction04/11/15 11:22 AM
1

Great post, this is something everyone can work on to help be more socially comfortable. It's something I've worked on for a while but I still break eye contact often. I think I'll make this a high priority to focus on again.
/r/seduction04/11/15 11:17 AM
1

You still have to have a non-needy vibe otherwise they won't want to make eye contact with you. Eye contact will make the initial connection, but if you are still carrying your baggage around, the girls will sense it in the rest of your body language.
/r/seduction04/11/15 11:13 AM
2

That's defeating the purpose and hiding your vulnerability. You'll connect with someone better if you look them directly in the eye. There are no short-cuts with this, it's either eye-to-eye or it's not eye contact.
/r/seduction04/11/15 11:10 AM
1

Vulnerability is about communicating your feelings and opinions freely. You should be doing this in conversations with everyone so it is not something you have to think about when you chat to women. How is your eye contact with these women? That is a big part of being vulnerable.
/r/seduction29/10/15 09:24 AM
1

You've read Models. Disregarding women, what are you doing to invest in yourself? What are you doing to become vulnerable? You will become confident by being yourself freely. Notice where you hide yourself from people, lie, brag or try to impress. All these behaviors are the way you try to present an image of yourself (for approval from others) instead of just being who you are naturally. It's not easy to get rid of these behaviors, but day by day you can increasingly become more vulnerable by r…
/r/seduction16/10/15 09:26 AM
1

I agree with the recommendations of "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "Models". They are both great books to help with your self esteem.
/r/seduction15/10/15 12:00 PM
1

Apply advice from the book Models (by Mark Manson) to become more attractive Use meetup.com to find groups with similar interests (includes singles groups too)
/r/seduction15/10/15 11:58 AM
1

I spent wasted years doing lots of approaches and going through pua books and then giving up for a few more years. Then I read Models and just had so many aha moments. It really pieced the inner game stuff together for me especially about being vulnerable, investing in myself and dealing with rejection. Guaranteed, you are giving off some desperation or needy behavior around women and it is pushing them away, Models shows you how to remove that subtle desperation by becoming vulnerable to your o…
/r/seduction08/10/15 11:44 AM
2

I tend to agree with this, but you could send her a "nice meeting you" text sooner just to keep the connection alive. If she responds to that, wait a week and see what she's up to that weekend. If she doesn't respond it could be a bust.
/r/seduction07/10/15 11:19 AM
1

Except, speaking unfiltered is not a "technique" :) Techniques stop you from speaking unfiltered.
/r/seduction07/10/15 09:23 AM
2

If an unattractive man approaches 100 women, maybe he'll get one or two "successes" just through the sheer numbers (then again, maybe he'll get no success). If an attractive man goes to a bar, he socializes, he is fun and comfortable in his skin and pretty soon has multiple girls giving him eye contact and laughing at his jokes. He can take his pick. The first guy has to do all this work, for very litte result and this will eventually make him question why he's doing all this work and friends of…
/r/seduction06/10/15 09:39 AM
1

One trick is to let go of being attached to your life turning out a certain way. Regretting the past will surely lead to depression which is not good. Forget about the past, nobody is judging you for it, only you are. All you can do is take action in the present to give yourself a better future.
/r/seduction05/10/15 06:16 AM
6

I concur with this. No More Mr Nice Guy goes further into depth about the type of behaviors that nice guys exhibit and how to start changing those behaviors. It is also a book that Mark Manson recommends and I think he mentions in Models that it helped him too. Also, "Get Your Shit Together" by David Tee is a quick read and gives a good overview of how you can start taking action and feeling better about yourself by getting shit done in your life.
/r/seduction04/10/15 11:58 PM
2

If you don't set boundaries about what you are and are not willing to accept from people, you will lose value. If it's a playful tap on the face then you could say something like "oh poor baby, acting out because you're not getting enough attention?" in a joking way. If it's a legitimate slap which hurts or annoys you then tell her shes being annoying and turn your back on her. Ultimately, if hot girls are trying to get your attention, you've not really got much to complain about hey :)
/r/seduction04/10/15 11:54 PM
1

You never have to talk to a group, you only need to talk to individuals :) If it's difficult for you, start with something low pressure (eg. a group walk). Set a goal of just going and introducing yourself to the organiser and then tell yourself you can leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable. The point is to break it down to a small enough chunk of action that you can handle but also allows you to push against your limits of anxiety. Believe me, your mind is making it into a bigger issue than i…
/r/seduction04/10/15 11:44 PM
2

They do confuse the hell out of us sometimes and I've had these frustrations many times myself. You can grow and be better from this experience, good luck :)
/r/seduction04/10/15 10:51 AM
2

You've also got to factor in that alot of men don't take rejection well even if you can handle it. But she's not to know how you will handle it and is protecting herself from having to deal with a butthurt, potentially aggressive male. It's a numbers game (obviously) so I think it's better to move on as soon as you realise she's not interested rather than over-analyse why she's not interested. I know it's difficult as I'm still getting used to moving on quickly from rejection also, it takes a bi…
/r/seduction04/10/15 09:30 AM
1

Yeah this has been happening to me on the dance floor quite alot lately. Girls are giving me signals but I'm not pulling the trigger as much as I should. Next time we need to make more of our intention known if we are into them. I'm so used to acting a bit aloof (to protect myself from rejection) that it's a difficult habit to break.
/r/seduction04/10/15 09:24 AM
1

Meetup.com has worked well for me. Find evens that interest you, in my town there are singles pub crawls, scenic walks, bbqs, tech groups, laser tag etc Everyone who goes is open to meeting other people so it really takes the pressure off.
/r/seduction04/10/15 08:25 AM
2

Don't take it as something you need to fix about yourself necessarily, you will never be compatible with every woman you take out. Adopt the mindset that rejection (in whatever form) is necessary for you to find the right woman who is going to like you for who you are and make you happy. Also, I think this particular woman did you a favour by being pretty direct and aborting after such a short time. It would have been worse for you to put up with a date she wasn't enjoying only to leave you thin…
/r/seduction04/10/15 08:17 AM
1

All body language is an expression on how you feel inside. Rather than working out if you should smile (or when and how), work out how you can feel the best about yourself and let the body language express naturally. Having said that, some people say that it can also work in reverse. That is, if you force yourself to stand up straight and smile, it can make you feel better on the inside. However, that is a short term solution and ultimately you don't want to have to think about it, you just want…
/r/seduction04/10/15 06:33 AM
1

Great post and well done.
/r/seduction04/10/15 06:23 AM
1

Anything you do which is 1 on 1 and you've shown some intention you like her will be a date. "Hey, I'm enjoying chatting with you, want to grab a drink with me next week?" It doesn't really matter where you go, but surely there are places to eat, things to do in your area. Or is your college in the middle of a desert?
/r/seduction25/09/15 08:54 AM
2

You are texting with 3 girls, have you asked any of them out on a date? Have you given any indication at all that you are interested in them sexually? If you don't show any intent, you will just be friends with these girls. You say you feel like the alpha male, but it sounds like you're still afraid of rejection.
/r/seduction24/09/15 09:14 AM
1

That's a good analogy.
/r/seduction21/09/15 08:53 AM
1

I think you're doing quite well as far as living a good life for yourself and getting out there. You didn't mention any girls you've met recently that you were interested in? You say you can't get any dates, but are you actually meeting the types of girls that you want to date? If you are, where are things going wrong for you?
/r/seduction20/09/15 10:55 AM
1

It does seem like a paradox. It's not that you do not give a fuck about your goals, desires, work etc For example, if you have to make a presentation next week, you still do the necessary preparation (things that you can do in the present and that are in your control). But then you have to let go of thinking about how that presentation will eventuate. That's the future based thinking where we obsess over how people will react to it, am i smart enough, can i win them over etc. That makes us feel …
/r/seduction20/09/15 07:39 AM
3

Start a new meetup "Under 25's bar hopping" or something and if you don't want to be organising events all the time, you could ask for organisers to run the group once you've got a few active people. Other than that, just go to meetups that are activities you enjoy rather than focusing on who is going. On my first meetup, I hit it off with a very cute girl who was a +1 of another girl in the group so I would never have known she'd been there if I was just scanning the photos of the invite list. …
/r/seduction15/09/15 11:21 AM
1

I think this is how I screwed up the last girl I went on a date with. I kissed her and had fun and we seemed to connect deeply, but she stopped replying to my messages after I tried to meet up with her again (possibly too soon). It's difficult not to want a girlfriend because I'm 36 and you kind of have that mentality of being in serious relationships. Thanks for the advice of "you're not her boyfriend", I will try and have that mindset next time and see if things go better.
/r/seduction13/09/15 06:50 AM
4

If you just got out of a long relationship and are trying to pickup a new girl straight away, there may be a deeper issue you need to address. Do you feel you need to have a woman in your life to be happy and to fit in? I do congratulate you on giving it a try and actually attempting to start a conversation, but you may have been giving off a desperate vibe, possibly due to having to fill the need (or hole) that your previous girlfriend left behind. It might be wise to take some time to just be …
/r/seduction13/09/15 06:44 AM
6

Meetup.com has been a savior for me. I went out solo like you once earlier this year and also found it difficult to mingle with strangers. I think it's easier when you're with a friend or two because you can already get that social vibe going and then it's not as hard just to randomly chat with others around you. After that I went to 2 meetup.com events and found it much easier to meet people and even got a date with cute girl on the first meetup. It's a great stepping stone to going out on your…
/r/seduction08/09/15 10:42 AM
1

You're basically describing Mark Manson's "investment paradox". If your goal is centred around getting women you are over-invested and results seem elusive. If you're goal is internally orientated (eg. enjoying yourself, having fun first) then you're less invested and seeing results seems almost effortless. So the answer is to enjoy your skating and then go out and spread the good vibes that it brings. Enjoy yourself instead of pressuring yourself to approach.
/r/seduction05/09/15 01:05 PM
0

It sounds like you are you are approaching with a "taking" or "needy" vibe which is immediately noticed by the girls before you say anything. You need to work on your confidence and invest in yourself first. You should be having fun already and then chatting up women as a part of that. Read Models and No More Mr Nice Guy.
/r/seduction02/09/15 11:21 AM
1

Upvote for this response. That shift in attitude you describe is exactly what has helped turn things around for me. Well said.
/r/seduction02/09/15 11:18 AM
9

Well the advice in Models is a how-to on being less invested. But it takes time and dedication to change your habits. I first read models 2 years ago, and although I've made positive changes and feel more confident than ever, I am still having inconsistent results with women (although its alot better than where I was). Maybe you need to not pursue women at all for a while, at least 6 months and focus on investing in yourself only (doing the things you want to do).
/r/seduction02/09/15 11:12 AM
6

Wise words here. You sound like a cool guy yearofawesome.
/r/seduction27/08/15 12:35 PM
1

Make yourself laugh and have your own fun, you don't need to try and make her laugh. If you're having fun, she will too if she's compatible with you.
/r/seduction27/08/15 12:31 PM
1

Yeah, it's frustrating, I started trying to "fix" myself over 10 years ago but went down the wrong path for quite a while. Now, I'm less motivated but heading along a better path and I'm much happier.
/r/seduction27/08/15 12:27 PM
1

I'm 36 too and started realising this a couple of years ago. It's the best way to go, I feel much better about myself (and starting to have more options in my life with women too).
/r/seduction25/08/15 10:09 AM
1

You're outcome dependant, that's where you need to work no yourself before you bother approach attempts. You have to get to a base level of confidence in yourself first otherwise you'll always be thinking about it rather than just doing. Models and No More Mr Nice Guy are great books for learning how to get that base level of confidence (where you you care less about what others think of you).
/r/seduction25/08/15 10:05 AM
3

No worries.
/r/seduction24/08/15 11:21 AM
1

I agree that you continue to grow and develop a deeper understanding of women over time and that is never-ending, but that is done through experience not coming back here to read the latest persons opinion on how to generate more attraction. I see these forums as a guide to get the ball rolling and navigate through the tough periods, but once you get momentum and experience you can leave the reading behind (if you want).
/r/seduction24/08/15 11:19 AM
1

Work is a great opportunity to learn to express yourself more around other people. Respect others boundaries, but be playful and fun when the opporunities arise. Voice your opinion more often (whether its related to work or not). If someone doesn't react to you, that's their issue not yours. Especially at work, people will be stressed sometimes or have something they're dealing with and your forced to spend alot of time with these people. Be the example by having your own fun and sharing it with…
/r/seduction24/08/15 09:32 AM
4

How about telling her what you want and see if she's up for it? That's leading. Eg. "Want to come over to mine on wed night?" If you're already hooking up with her, it's a bit weird that you are now questioning yourself. Be honest, be direct. Also, if you've no intention of seeing her long term, you should probably let her know this is just an FB thing sooner rather than later (don't just assume she knows).
/r/seduction24/08/15 09:25 AM
3

Maybe you feel embarrassed but it sounds like you handled it pretty well. Like Captainidontno says, just laugh it off and dismiss anyone who tries to make a big deal out of it (they probably won't). It'll be forgotten about quickly. Accept that you got a bit embarassed, don't resist it.
/r/seduction24/08/15 09:22 AM
1

Hi Phenomite, I follow a similar style to approaching. I don't see it as approaching, just being social, having fun and I don't really force myself to do cold approaches. Do you find most of your girlfriends through bars/pubs or through your social circle?
/r/seduction24/08/15 09:13 AM
2

I totally disagree with you. Once you really understand what attraction is for a male, you don't have to think about it. There is nothing more to "learn". It is not some kind of body of knowledge like science. Once you change the fundamental beliefs/habbits that were holding you back, you're changed forever.
/r/seduction24/08/15 09:09 AM
2

A big part of it for me was getting used to rejection and not making into a failure or something wrong with myself. You are probably ashamed of your sexuality because you're afraid if you express it, it will be rejected and confirm that belief of "there's something wrong with me, girls just can't be attracted to me". An example of me getting rejected was when I was at a concert and had been chatting up a girl on and off that was standing near me (she was cute and we were getting along great, no …
/r/seduction23/08/15 07:55 AM
2

Great advice.
/r/seduction22/08/15 12:08 PM
1

Thanks for clarifying. Yes, I agree she needs to be attracted first but attraction is something I don't think about anymore (assume attraction) so I don't wait for signs of that.
/r/seduction22/08/15 09:08 AM
2

If you believe its all looks, why would you even bother posting on this forum? Sorry mate, but you've got very messed up beliefs and unless you're willing to open your mind to other possibilities you will stay stuck where you are with all that bitterness.
/r/seduction21/08/15 11:11 AM
3

Good tips, I can relate to most of this. Can you elaborate on girls flaking because you had too much rapport? I did not think being too vulnerable or having too much rapport would repel a girl? After all, aren't most of them looking for a deep connection? Maybe it's a case of too much rapport, too early but still I didn't think it would be a bad thing.
/r/seduction21/08/15 09:24 AM
1

They only way to enjoy yourself dancing is to not care if people are judging you. It's not really about how you dance, just have fun and not care and people will be drawn to that vibe.
/r/seduction18/08/15 10:44 AM
2

Yes, this is what puts a "vibe" in everything you do.
/r/seduction16/08/15 11:50 AM
1

Yes! Celebrate the win and see that you just grew a little as a person. You've got nothing to prove to anyone, why not just treat those around you like normal people, like you alread know them. Keep stepping it up, make longer eye contact, smile more and chat with servers, waitresses, attendants and others. Have no agenda other than enjoying getting to know people. Keep it up man.
/r/seduction16/08/15 07:10 AM
1

Find a way to start enjoying your life and accepting yourself. That's the main way you can start being more interesting and developing a loveable personality. By living your life your own way and on your terms you have value to offer others because most of them are following the status quo.
/r/seduction16/08/15 07:07 AM
2

That was very well said and validates my experiences recently. It's a subtle change in mindset and may take some time to get used to, but it's pretty easy when you realise it's just about putting your own priorities/enjoyment first. Have fun for yourself and then share that with those around you.
/r/seduction15/08/15 12:29 PM
1

It seems you have not addressed the issue of having a deep need to have a woman in your life and you've tied that with your happiness. You are over-invested in getting a girl and that is making you behave unlike your normal self. You need to address this issue and then look at ways you can start investing in yourself again. By doing this you can start to see how you can be happy regardless of your girlfriend situation. Then, once you are enjoying your life, girls will start looking at you differ…
/r/seduction15/08/15 12:20 PM
1

Loving yourself can be a difficult concept to grasp, I prefer "feeling good about yourself". You can start feeling good about yourself by putting yourself first (investing in yourself). Work out what things make you happy and do more of it. Set boundaries of what you will and will not accept from people, look after your appearance (without obsessing), seize opportunities to socialise and express yourself freely. The more that you can proove to yourself that you can have an enjoyable life regardl…
/r/seduction14/08/15 11:08 AM
3

Take some of the advice from Models and break things down into small chunks you can handle. You said you can make some eye contact, so expand on that. Practice holding eye contact for longer. If you can't smile with ease, then you maybe also need to look into the daily habbits you have. You need to be able to make yourself happy first before you'll have much progress with women. In fact your own happiness and well being should be your number one priority, so work on that and then see if smiling …
/r/seduction11/08/15 01:04 PM
1

You won't revert to your old self as long as you are feeling good about the things you are doing (which it sounds like you are). The ease with which you are meeting girls now is a byproduct of you feeling good which you are beginning to realise is in your control. If it's in your control, then there should be no fear of reverting to your old self. Your doing well, keep doing the things you enjoy and improving yourself.
/r/seduction09/08/15 11:59 AM
2

Well said AquaGiant, I used to get similar results to OP until I started having fun first, and chatting to girls became easier as I was entering interactions with a positive vibe already. Also look at why you feel you need to pickup girls when you go out to a bar. Is it because you think you need a girl on your arm to be happy or fit in? Or maybe you subtely think you have something to proove to your friends (I know both of these mindsets have held me back in the past). By putting your own fun/e…
/r/seduction09/08/15 07:44 AM
1

Make consistent, small changes. They add up over time. Eg. If you're trying to lose weight, cut out one snack per week and go for a 5 minute walk. Then in a few weeks, extend the walk to 10 minutes. If you try to do too much at once, you'll feel overwhelmed and just quit. If you set yourself small achieveable challenges, you'll look back and see that you've actually made a change. That will motivate you to keep going.
/r/seduction08/08/15 05:49 AM
1

I think you've cracked the code then :) Give yourselves some credit and maybe entertain the fact that you're good company and the girls weren't just getting with you because of your money!
/r/seduction07/08/15 11:40 AM
1

So you all got laid?
/r/seduction06/08/15 09:14 AM
2

Yes, exactly. Any advice that mentions specific hobbies or things to do is rubbish and missing the point. The point is to find the courage to do whatever it is you want to do and do it without shame, then you become very attractive to some people (as opposed to being mostly unattractive to most people).
/r/seduction05/08/15 12:56 PM
1

Can you tell me which pieces of advice you actually implemented after reading Models? Reading with no action will not change shit.
/r/seduction03/08/15 01:19 AM
6

Couldn't have said it better myself. The best piece of advice I got from Models and No More Mr Nice Guy was "invest in yourself, put yourself first". This means: learning how to say "no" to people setting boundaries about what you expect from your family and friends looking after your health and appearance not putting up with a job that you hate speaking your mind freely regardless if you think you might offend or disagree with someone pursuing hobbies and interests that really interest YOU and …
/r/seduction03/08/15 12:53 AM
0

Wow, I can't believe you've all missed the point in this article. He clearly demonstrated how his approach of women is different to the typical "cold approach" (by casually chatting to women at opportune times instead of hitting on every "target" that is nearby). He also described how regular PUA involving mass approaching with low close rates is inefficient and does not address the causes of neediness. Traditional PUA is covering up the neediness with "skills" but he is teaching how to become n…
/r/seduction02/08/15 06:24 AM
1

Very good advice. You have to learn how to enjoy yourself first so that you can spread that energy to those around you. Then attracting women isn't something you need to make happen with some kind of plan.
/r/seduction01/08/15 12:03 AM
1

Very well done. Those 2 books have helped me alot also. Haven't got myself a girlfriend yet but I'm way more hopeful than every before.
/r/seduction21/07/15 07:02 AM
1

And that's where Models will help correct that mindset. You're not there to impress her with your conversation skills, you're there trying to find out if she's the type of girl that would make you happy. A simple question like "where are you from" can kickstart a whole fascinating conversation if both parties are relaxed and self-expressive.
/r/seduction17/07/15 05:39 AM
1

No, it definately does not give you things to say as that entirely misses the point of what he's teaching! Do you think about what you need to say to your mum? Or your friends? Or do you just talk to them? If you are coming up with plans on what to say to a girl you are putting her on a pedestal/being outcome dependant and Models is about removing those barriers that make you believe you need to say something special or be someone who you are not. If you want to be told what to say and when then…
/r/seduction17/07/15 04:38 AM
2

Yeah, sorry dude I can't help you. You're attitude is fucked up and you refuse to see the answers that are right in front of you. When you start developing the attitude that David Tee has you quickly realise how little importance looks are to women and how it is much more about your attitude, vibe, happiness, vulnerability. You'll probably be posting these same questions again in 5 years time.
/r/seduction17/07/15 04:32 AM
1

This is why Models has not worked for you because you've entirely missed the most important messages in that book. It is definitely NOT fashion and fitness and by no means does he say looks is the most important thing. It seems you've got some very messed up beliefs about how you look and you are interpreting your world through this viewpoint. By the way, the most important messages (that helped me) from Models were vulnerability, being aware of my behaviors and getting used to rejection. I have…
/r/seduction17/07/15 04:27 AM
2

Yes, listen to these guys. I did the same thing for 3 years without much progress, then I gave up for 3 years and only recently did I realise it's all about having fun and making myself happy first. Now I've started meeting women naturally and without much effort as I am putting myself first and that draws them in. Also, read some posts at http://notpickup.com This will give you an understanding of the mindset you need to adopt which is opposite to the traditional PUA approach 1000 women mindset…
/r/seduction16/07/15 11:18 AM
4

If you want to be told what to do and when to do it, memorise a structure and practice over and over, that would be mystery method. If you want to fundamentally change how you feel about yourself, develop self respect and naturally attract women without having to think about it then Models is what you want. First way is mimicking how a natural behaves, second way is becoming a natural. No brainer :)
/r/seduction16/07/15 11:02 AM
2

This advice is simplisitc, and if it worked my issues would have been solved many years ago. No doubt, you've got to jump in but many people are crippled by their insecurities. They're world view is so warped that the mere idea of approaching a stranger manifests as all sorts of negative and physical emotions. It's kind of like someone with a fear of heights trying skydiving and everyone is yelling jump! just do it! But they still back out even though they logically know it's 99.9% safe to take …
/r/seduction16/07/15 09:17 AM
1

I think you missed the point. It's not about going to these groups to pick up girls, it's about finding something new to try for yourself that you may end up enjoying. And then, because you're enjoying yourself, you naturally meet the people around you and maybe there's some girls that are attractive. If you go to these activities looking for "targets" then yes, you are probably going to be disappointed because your mindset requires a large number of people you can churn through until you find o…
/r/seduction15/07/15 10:38 AM
2

I agree, I've had practically no success with tinder or dating sites and I've done a fair bit of experimenting with my photos and profile. It's just way too much work compared to going out and having fun and meeting someone. When you meet someone live you know pretty quickly if you are attracted or not but online you could put in a lot of effort based on photos and message only to realise you are not attracted in real life. I'm not dissing online dating though, if it works for you go for it! If …
/r/seduction15/07/15 10:30 AM
3

Yeah, this was my experience. The more you try to learn knowledge about meeting women, the more outcome dependant you become as you expect that knowledge to get you results. The paradox is you can get results by dropping the expection of getting results!
/r/seduction15/07/15 10:20 AM
1

According to the article, if you just commit to reading the first paragraph you will be motivated to read the rest :) "The do something" principle.
/r/seduction15/07/15 10:18 AM
1

If you want to be the high energy party fun guy then maybe the RSD stuff will suit you, but if you just want to improve your confidence, dating life and all round attractiveness, stick to the lessons in Models.
/r/seduction13/07/15 10:44 AM
1

Yep, only another 60 years of living, I guess you're out of time! Start getting out of your rut by doing things that make you happy. If you're flunking your course you obviously don't really like it, otherwise you'd feel good about putting in a good effort. So are you doing this course for yourself or to impress your parents and friends? You could look at transferring into another course to extend your time at college, but it's going to make no difference with girls if you don't get yourself sor…
/r/seduction12/07/15 06:32 AM
7

In general, women are creeped out when you're hiding your intentions or trying to prove yourself to them. So if you sort that out, you'll only creep them out some of the time instead of ALL of the time :)
/r/seduction12/07/15 06:19 AM
2

It's most likely that there are parts of yourself that you are ashamed of. You are probably aware of some of these. People hide they're shame, therefore they are holding back expressing themselves which makes them less trustworthy to others. Does this ring any bells for you? I recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy and there will definitely be things that you'll relate to in that book and be like "yeah, I do that but I didn't realise it was a needy behavior". If you are still struggling, it might…
/r/seduction12/07/15 06:15 AM
2

Yes, this is my experience with that book too. Alot of it didn't apply to me as I had already corrected some nice guy behaviors, but I think most guys will find something in this book that they relate to and may not have realised about themselves. Models in conjuction with No More Mr Nice Guy have helped me become much happier and having more options with women, although I'm still a work in progress.
/r/seduction09/07/15 10:32 AM
2

Focus on the vulnerability and body language stuff though, nail that and you start attracting women into your life without much effort. The rest of the book is more practical advice about looking good, looking after yourself, calling or texting, going on dates which comes in useful once you have women interested in you.
/r/seduction09/07/15 10:27 AM
3

This is actually some of the best advice on this thread, and has been my experience recently. Basically, have fun primarily.
/r/seduction08/07/15 01:41 PM
1

Maybe you weren't faking it, and just learned to express yourself?
/r/seduction08/07/15 01:38 PM
2

Yeah that could be part of it, but realise you still need to show your sexual side to get into a relationship. Maybe you need to admit to yourself that you do want sex and then work out how you are going to lead a girl to that situation. It's very possible also that you are worried about rejection. Try going out to get a rejection, that way you need to do something out of your comfort zone and deal with whatever consequences (if any) happen. I know for me, to put myself out there sexually and to…
/r/seduction08/07/15 10:48 AM
1

Haha...better stick to drinking for now ;)
/r/seduction08/07/15 10:43 AM
2

Hmm, if you are already good with the eye contact it may be that you're still giving off a somewhat needy vibe which is why the numbers are flakey. Keep investing in yourself, touch people in baby-steps (pat on the shoulder, high five etc) and keep pushing boundaries is the best I can advise sorry!
/r/seduction07/07/15 11:52 AM
1

Great advice!
/r/seduction07/07/15 11:44 AM
2

I hear you mate, I recently went on my first date in quite a few years and it actually went really well (touching wasn't much of an issue for me and I kissed her a couple of times) but then she stopped responding a week or two later, couldn't get her out for a second date. My point is, even when you think things are going great it can fall apart for no apparent reason! Next time you go out, focus on having fun and making long unbreakable eye contact with the girls you talk to. See how that feels…
/r/seduction07/07/15 10:56 AM
2

If I have to explain the attractiveness of drinking, you've probably never been drunk ;) Alcohol in moderation is not necessarily bad for your body either.
/r/seduction07/07/15 10:39 AM
5

Cool! This sub will probably bore you then.
/r/seduction06/07/15 11:34 AM
5

First of all, alot of us here are not trying to just pick up women for sex, we are just trying to improve ourselves and achieve a regular dating life. To be ourselves yet still have options with quality women. The question you should be asking is, why are you here if you are already good at meeting and dating women? Maybe your relationships are not as good as they could be? Maybe you settle for women you aren't really into?
/r/seduction06/07/15 10:52 AM
2

Are you talking about on dates? I don't think you should have to force kino. Start with longer, unbreaking eye contact to build tension. Also, if you're on a date, try to do activities such as play pool, walk around, putt putt golf where you can high-five her playful punch or hold her hand when walking. Try not to spend the whole date sitting down facing each other because it can be quite awkward to get a touchy feely vibe going in that scenario. I wouldn't worry about the "statement of intent" …
/r/seduction06/07/15 10:44 AM
7

Working out and not drinking are good health goals but they won't help you with women much on their own. You've admitted to being "crippled" by other peoples judgement and that has taken me all through my 20's and well into my 30's to get past (mostly). Start working on that now because it can be a long and challenging road to becoming free of worrying what other people think. Books like Power of Now, Models and No More Mr Nice Guy are a good start.
/r/seduction06/07/15 10:36 AM
27

I think this could be useful for some if your rambling comes from a place of neediness. However, be careful not to censor yourself. You still want to feel free to express your opinions, thoughts and stories without regard to how others receive you. So maybe it's not about talking less, but why are you talking. If you're talking to get attention and feel included, you give off the needy vibe. If you talk because you love sharing your goals, hobbies, jokes with others and don't care if they cause …
/r/seduction06/07/15 10:32 AM
3

I'm in the same position, been attracting more girls in my life than ever before (which is not heaps) but something always seems to get in the way (like they have a boyfriend), or it falls apart for no aparent reason. What helps me stay positive is looking back and seeing how much progress I've made and also understanding the "pain period" as Mark Manson describes it. I interpret this as the period of transitioning to being more vulnerable, it's a process of failing and accepting it but also wit…
/r/seduction03/07/15 10:16 AM
1

I second this, went to 2 meetups recently and met a great girl on the first one (went on a date with her later) and ended up dancing with heaps of girls on the second one. There are lots of hobby based meetups but there are ones for bar hopping and clubbing too if that's what you like. I'm 36 and the first one was laser tag and the second one was at a club on a saturday night. It's great because everyone is there to meet each other, no pressure, just have fun with it. I look forward to going to …
/r/seduction02/07/15 11:36 AM
1

No worries. Remember also, most of us have things we don't like about ourselves like baldness, fat, facial features, body types or even race. Learn to accept them and joke about them, that way they have no power over you.
/r/seduction02/07/15 11:20 AM
1

Read This: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3bicwv/no_matter_how_bad_you_think_it_is_if_you_invest/
/r/seduction30/06/15 11:46 AM
2

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
/r/seduction30/06/15 10:20 AM
27

Yep, great response. I'll just add: don't make girls the source of your happiness. Learn how to make yourself happy and content without them, then when it's time to talk to them you are coming from a place of feeling good already instead of trying to get them to make you feel good. It's a subtle difference on the surface but makes a huge difference to your results.
/r/seduction28/06/15 01:45 AM
2

Hahaha, great story! Such desperation is not normally rewarded unless you're a teenager :)
/r/seduction26/06/15 01:25 PM
1

It's a great book, I wish I'd read it 10 years ago (although it was not yet written then).
/r/seduction26/06/15 01:18 PM
1

Yep, great book, really helped me on the path of being true to myself.
/r/seduction25/06/15 09:51 AM
5

It seems like you got a rare bit of attention from a female and trying to figure out how you could have turned it into picking her up. That's a very scarce mindset. You should instead be focusing on creating more opportunities where you are speaking to decent women (not drunken bitches). These girls were you using you for a laugh, is that the type of girl you're looking for?
/r/seduction24/06/15 09:04 AM
1

Basically, you've got to be more invested in yourself than you are in her whilst still respecting her wants and needs.
/r/seduction19/06/15 12:45 PM
2

This is overly simplistic. You have to look at why you put her on a pedestal. Usually, it's because you believe that she is the source of your happiness and that turns her into a precious object you can't afford to lose. Even though I'm getting better, I'm still trying to get past this issue after all these years.
/r/seduction19/06/15 12:42 PM
8

Maybe she doesn't want to move too fast but didn't want to say no to you either. If you really like her, give her another chance and just ask her out again without bringing up awkwardness. If it happens again, maybe shes not the one for you.
/r/seduction18/06/15 09:28 AM
1

ROFL, that's hilarious! I honestly thought this was a joke, but you seem serious. There is some wisdom here though. Were you afraid to approach your mum? No. Because you realise there is no chance anything would happen with her (I hope!!). You weren't thinking about what was going to happen after you spoke to her, you just focused on doing it. Try and take that same attitude with you when out tomorrow night. Also, drop the idea of "getting at least a k-close". That is outcome dependance and it's…
/r/seduction18/06/15 09:17 AM
2

I agree with this, start with yourself as that is something you can control. Work on making yourself feel good without girls first (eg. exercise, diet, working on bad habbits, dressing better, body language). If you can be happy with yourself/life first, then when you start chatting up girls it will be a lot less pressure (as getting a girl no longer defines who you are). Don't avoid talking to girls if the opportunity is there, but try to avoid the whole mass approaching thing which is stressfu…
/r/seduction15/06/15 09:04 AM
2

If she's a half decent girl, she would not reject you because of this. She would be more interested in how you are dealing with it. Eg. If she senses you're are looking for pity, she may be turned off. But if you demonstrate that you are doing everything to help yourself, staying positive, taking doctors orders and still being your happy self, that would be very impressive and demonstrate strength. Think about this, you met a really attractive and terriffic girl and she told you the same, would …
/r/seduction15/06/15 08:53 AM
1

No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover is recommended by Mark Manson and is where he got some of his concepts from. I recommend it, especially for the guys really struggling.
/r/seduction15/06/15 08:45 AM
1

Models shows you how to be attractive and make deeper connections with women. The type of relationship you are after is up to you. Mark Manson admits to sleeping with over 100 women over a 7-8 year period, it's impossible that they were all long term relationships (do the math).
/r/seduction15/06/15 08:43 AM
3

Models wasn't the first book that I read that was highly focused on improving yourself and that wrote off the traditional PUA community teachings. However, it was the first book that did a great job of showing me how I can change and how attraction works with measurable steps to take to improve myself day by day. It was the first book I read that lead to concrete, positive results in my life when I started implementing it's advice (and I had been involved in the community as far back as 2005 wit…
/r/seduction14/06/15 10:33 AM
1

Has anyone ever said you are ugly? She said (and you quoted) "pretty boy types" which might just mean you have a rougher or grittier look which heaps of women would be fine with. If you think you're ugly, it's true, so don't think that. As a confident man, your opinion of yourself should be of higher importance than her opinion of you. That's what confidence is. You either base your happines on other's perception of you (which leads to needines, approval seeking and misery) or you base your happ…
/r/seduction13/06/15 07:40 AM
2

Thanks for the recommend. If I do read "the manual" it will just be for curiosity because I've already read Models and that has put me on the right path, I'm sure of that. It can't hurt to see a different perspective or re-enforce existing concepts though.
/r/seduction11/06/15 10:33 AM
7

Are you getting rejected by women? Or are you rejecting yourself? If you're not getting rejected, you probably are not being obvious enough to the chick that you are interested in her in a sexual manner.
/r/seduction11/06/15 10:20 AM
8

For me, I passed up a couple of opportunities (although not deliberately) and ended up losing it with my second girlfriend which was probably better anyway (at age 20). I did put a lot of pressure on myself and felt inadequate (as most of us do) and it was a big relief once it happened. But as you get older (I'm 36 now) you realise that nobody cares or asks you hold you were when you lost it and want to judge you about it. It does not increase your value as a person at all. I'd say, don't pass u…
/r/seduction10/06/15 11:41 AM
1

If you are willing to take anything that comes along, it demonstrates low self esteem (which you probably have). You have to have standards, which means sit down and really work out what qualities you would enjoy in a woman (excluding physical appearance) and approach women with the mindset of trying to find out if she meets any of these standards. Especially with attractive women, they have so many guys wanting them just because they are hot and you are just another one in that long line (which…
/r/seduction10/06/15 09:44 AM
1

Video games are only a problem when it becomes an addiction or method of avoding socialising. If you're invited to a party on saturday night and you prefer to stay home and play video games, then yes it's going to hold back your development. But if you play after work during the week and then socialise on the weekend, it's not holding you back, it's just like any other hobby.
/r/seduction10/06/15 09:36 AM
2

Some girls don't like them, but I think the majority do. However, if you're clean-shaven, I think there would be very few girls who would you reject you based on that. I shaved mine recently and I couldn't believe how weird I looked, I think it takes some getting use to not having one after wearing one for a couple of years.
/r/seduction09/06/15 09:16 AM
2

Thanks. Yes, the other thing that greatly helped me was to change my purpose from trying to pick up, to having as much fun as I can without forcing myself to approach women. When you go out with the intention of practicing or forcing yourself to approach, you immediately feel the pressure of performance which takes away the fun (and your natural personality). When you go out with the intention of fun and pleasing yourself first, it becomes easier to just chat to anyone around you. And because yo…
/r/seduction09/06/15 08:55 AM
2

Yes, you can't fake outcome independance, it has to come naturally through bettering yourself. What worked for me is to change the goal to getting rejected. Not that you deliberately insult a girl to get rejected, but that you are going to say "hi" to that girl and expect that rejection is likely. Make it a fun challenge for yourself. And it is likely. Not harsh rejections (these are rare) but just getting blown off or ignored or whatever. So since you don't have to try or work to pick up a girl…
/r/seduction08/06/15 09:41 AM
1

Depends on the situation, sometimes its not worth it if it is something minor (eg. you got fries when you ordered wedges). But if it's under-cooked or there a foreign object (such as bug or hair) then we should really speak up.
/r/seduction08/06/15 05:22 AM
1

Yes, but they probably "get lucky" a bit more often than the 5 foot overweight dude. Ultimately, you shouldn't focus on the things you can't change (your height) and only on those things you can (your confidence, your appearance).
/r/seduction04/06/15 12:32 PM
1

The core issue is you care what others think of how you introduce yourself to people. It feels awkward because you thought you were suppose to conform to some social rule and if you stuffed it up you are some kind of weirdo. Cut that shit out now and introduce yourself however it feels comfortable. Has anyone ever said that you don't introduce yourself correctly??? PS. If you're on extacy, it is custom to greet one with a hug and lots of handsy rubbing of their clothes ;)
/r/seduction04/06/15 12:05 PM
2

Its a habit you need to build over time. Start small, next time you are in a group situation discussing some topic, speak up and let your opinion be known. Be willing for people to disagree with it, but state it anyway. It might be some minor topic like talking about a TV show. If you can just do this one action, make sure you recognise that you did and remind yourself that is something you don't normally do, so you just became a little more vulnerable. Once you see that it is very harmless to p…
/r/seduction04/06/15 11:44 AM
1

The notpickup.com blog I mentioned is focused on dating and meeting friends, creating a social group etc but it still focuses on the foundation of being happy with yourself first. He keeps it fairly simple too.
/r/seduction02/06/15 07:01 AM
2

Here is a good definition from the wikipedia page (of Dr Glovers Book). "Glover's premise is that nice guys have been conditioned by their childhoods and by society to believe that they will be successful only if they make everyone happy and never cause any problems for others. However, this desire for approval results in self-loathing. In other words, nice guys want approval, but don't think they deserve it. This creates internal frustration, since nice guys never try to obtain what they want i…
/r/seduction02/06/15 06:59 AM
2

The way to become more interesting is to become INTERESTED. Become insterested in hobbies, people, current events, the weather, your weaknesses, your health etc. Whatever excites you or is enjoyable. Declare your interest without shame or hesitation. Discard the things that don't interest you. When you're interested in stuff, it's easy to talk about it and therefore you become interesting (but not to everyone).
/r/seduction01/06/15 11:37 AM
3

You don't even need to be approaching to imlement some of Mark Manson's advice. Start making stronger eye contact and having better posture, start being more vulnerable with the people already around you. Having said that, I like John Cooper, Liam McRae (rapid escalation) and David Tee (notpickup.com) who have blogs and videos. They are essentially teaching the same thing but from different perspectives (which can be useful). No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover is a more in-depth book about how…
/r/seduction01/06/15 10:20 AM
2

Hey, great story, good inspiration for going out alone :) The only thing I'll pick on is that you should not have made an excuse to get her number, just admit you like her and ask for it plus you should have got it later after you'd made a connection and it would have been much easier also (no need to make an excuse when you're kissing her). But ultimately it doesn't matter in this case :) Well done.
/r/seduction31/05/15 09:51 AM
1

It's not really a matter of whether you are an introvert or extrovert (most people have qualities of both anyway) but whether you own it proudly or not. If you are an introvert and ashamed of it, it will be a turn off. If you own it/accept it as part of who you are then you are happy with yourself and will carry around that vibe no matter whether your being high energy or low energy. Be comfortable with yourself and your perceived flaws and this will naturally attract the people that are compati…
/r/seduction31/05/15 09:40 AM
2

Ok, I had assumed that you were ok talking with other people and this issue was limited to girls, so trusting that you would come up with something to say is not going to work (sorry about that). But the issue still revolves around the fact that you are highly invested in other peoples opinions of you over your own opinion of you (i.e. you are worried about what people think). You said "It's that I feel my head deoivd of topics to speak about with people I barely know". You are implying that you…
/r/seduction31/05/15 07:33 AM
1

So maybe it's a case of not opening yourself up enough to facilitate a connection more often (this is your responsibility, you have to lead). Vulnerability, being comfortable who you are and expressing that freely will allow you to be more consistent at making connections and therefore have more options with less effort.
/r/seduction30/05/15 10:24 AM
2

You're right, someone like you shouldn't read it.
/r/seduction30/05/15 10:19 AM
1

Are your interactions usually superficial or do they often get quite deep? Are you screening for the women that are right for you or accepting everything that comes along as a potential bang?
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:02 AM
1

It feels good to own your desires and put yourself out there when you are used to supressing yourself and holding back! The more you do it without shame, the easier and more natural it will become. Alcohol helps too ;)
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:43 AM
2

Ultimately you care too much about picking up the girl (outcome dependance) which makes you believe you need to say something special or out of the ordinary to achieve that. Try changing your goal to just saying "hi" to her and nothing more. Trust yourself that you will come up with something to say after that (as you normally would whenever you speak to your friends, family etc). IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, IT IS YOUR VIBE AND ATTITUDE THAT COUNT.
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:40 AM
12

You've got things around the wrong way. You should be feeling good first and then chatting to women. Instead you are trying to feel good from chatting with women which is neediness and a turn off. If you have something in your life you need to deal with so that you can start feeling good again, do that and forget about women until then. My 2c.
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:33 AM
2

I think it's a good idea, as long as you are doing things that are enjoyable for yourself and make you happy. When you're ready, go out and socialise again bringing your happy attitude with you (that you've developed by investing in yourself) and just chat to girls casually and see what difference it makes. In my experience, this helped me go from struggling with trying to pick up women to just naturally meeting and attracting them without much effort or anxeity (and a lot more fun). Read No Mor…
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:29 AM
1

Yeah, it was like this for me for a long time too and still happens sometimes. It's something you have to get used to, just break the eye contact when it gets to intense for you but you'll notice that you're keeping longer eye and longer contact over time with practice.
/r/seduction29/05/15 11:52 AM
2

Nobody has mentioned it yet, so have you read Models by Mark Manson? I think your fundamental issue is you still worry too much about what others (including girls) think of you. This means you still hide aspects of yourself and don't express yourself freely making it difficult to connect with people. You can start being yourself, expressing yourself, being more vulnerable today with your existing relationships (colleauges, friends, family) and when it becomes more natural, it will flow over to y…
/r/seduction29/05/15 11:46 AM
3

Dude, that is not a big age gap at all. Most 18yr old girls would easily be comfortable dating guys 5 to 10 years older than them in my opinion.
/r/seduction28/05/15 05:46 AM
1

If by more attractive, do you mean their physical beauty? If you are trying to get them mostly because of their physical beauty then you are putting them on a pedestal and thereby treating them different. This is a subtle desperation that you may not notice but they will. Try approaching them with the intent of finding out if they are the right fit for you personality-wise. Eg. Is she smart, funny and fun? If you are trying to find out these things, then you are connecting with her at a human le…
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:34 AM
5

In other words, be challenging, not a push-over. The thing is, you will do this naturally if you are expressing your authentic self. Don't turn it into a technique. I think if you had of said "I love Austria" (and this was your genuine opinion), then she probably still would have been into you as you were already having fun and bringing a good vibe.
/r/seduction24/05/15 06:16 AM
1

Good article, some of it I needed to hear right now.
/r/seduction22/05/15 01:03 PM
1

I completely agree with you and fortunately this is becoming the dominant paradigm. Obviously, some guys have success with the skills mindset but I think they are the ones who are already pretty confident and just need a push to get going. I had this skills mindset going back 8-10 years ago and it didn't get me anywhere, I wasted 2-3 years going out time after time and thinking I was improving but then having setbacks and ultimately not really getting many dates or success.
/r/seduction22/05/15 11:46 AM
1

Models - Mark Manson No More Mr Nice Guy - Robert Glover These are the two that have really helped change things for me. The first one has some great inner game stuff but also goes through alot of the outer game things like becoming healthy, body language, dressing well, communicating effectively etc. The lessons about vulnerability and accepting rejection/creepiness were expressed very well by Mark. The second one is all inner game stuff and is especially useful if you're somewhat of a people p…
/r/seduction22/05/15 11:35 AM
2

Tell him, the next few times you go out together, for him to simply focus on having the best time of his life and to not bother talking to a single woman. He can drink, dance, play pool, smoke or sit in the corner if he wants but he has to at least be doing things for himself that will be fun for him. He should not focus on pleasing or helping you with women either. He should not approach women but it's ok to chat to women if it happens organically. If this is not fun for him, he will quit soone…
/r/seduction18/05/15 10:17 AM
1

Well done. Outcome independance has helped me alot too, when you can just be more casual about things with less worry about what's going to happen, good things tend to happen!
/r/seduction15/05/15 10:19 AM
1

Have you tried ending it with them? Eg. If she seems keen to go out again after the first date, then stops responding to texts, you send a goodbye text to let them know you're moving on? I have done it once before and it got the girl responding again eg. "Hey, guess you've changed your mind, it was great meeting you and good luck with everything." But ultimately it didn't get her out on a date. I'm also having the same issue right now with a girl I had an incredible date with (she's gorgeous, fu…
/r/seduction14/05/15 12:04 PM
1

Cool! Good luck with her.
/r/seduction11/05/15 10:04 AM
1

You took action so you should be happy. Assume that she won't text and take this as a learning experience for next time. Keep incrementally becoming more bolder. One thing that helped me from Mark Mason was to become friends with rejection. If you assume that you'll probably get rejected, your more likely to take some action and if you do get rejected you kind of expected it so it's not too hard to deal with. And when you eventually learn to not care about rejection it becomes alot easier to app…
/r/seduction09/05/15 09:33 AM
1

I would agree with this if he had only met her once, but he already knows her and has mutual friends so there is probably a higher level of trust. There's no harm in telling her your plans and if she isn't up for it, then suggest going out for bowling, putt putt or pool.
/r/seduction07/05/15 10:11 AM
1

Dude, this is the only book you need. It's gold and if you apply as much of it as you can gradually in your life you will be a changed man. I am.
/r/seduction06/05/15 11:16 AM
7

I think Models is all you need, but No More Mr Nice Guy was also very useful. I also read notpickup.com But ultimately, there is nothing new I feel I need to learn as applying the concepts from Models has helped me alot and I know I'm on the right path now.
/r/seduction06/05/15 11:08 AM
7

I lol'd, sometimes stating the blatantly obvious is funny, especially if you deliver it with a fun vibe. It's not what you say....
/r/seduction06/05/15 11:00 AM
1

Yeah, he's not the first author to promote vulnerability, boldness etc But they way he explains it is very helpful as well as how he gives you the tools and steps to actually make permanent change are what really allowed me to see the clear path for myself.
/r/seduction05/05/15 09:33 AM
1

Yeah I agree with this. Mark Manson says people often misunderstand the vulnerability concept and try to use it as another technique to get women to like them. Try to become more open and vulnerable to friends, colleagues and women. Make it a habbit and notice how people respond to you. Then when you're talking to a woman you are not thinking about how much you should or not share with her, it just comes out naturally as you are already doing it with everyone in your life. You are just expressin…
/r/seduction03/05/15 04:13 AM
1

Yep, these are the 2 books I always go back to and have changed my life greatly too.
/r/seduction02/05/15 08:44 AM
1

This is a great post. I have lived this advice for the past 18 months or so and it's amazing the turn around that has happened for me. I am getting more attention from women now that my attitude is like "this is me, take it or leave it" rather than trying to project some image of the person I think she wants, playing it safe or trying to get her to like me. This is not new advice, I found this path from No More Mr Nice Guy (Robert Glover) and Models (Mark Manson) and I really recommend any guy o…
/r/seduction01/05/15 11:02 AM
2

The science backs up what you just said too, check this out: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile "Subjects were asked to rate smiling and attractiveness. They found that both men and women were more attracted to images of people who made eye contact and smiled than those who did not (6). If you don’t believe me, see how many looks you get when you walk outside with that smile your wearing right now. (You’re still smiling like I asked, r…
/r/seduction30/04/15 11:20 AM
1

You can definitely get away with a grin or a smirk, save the big teethy smiles for when you're really excited or laughing.
/r/seduction30/04/15 11:17 AM
2

I can relate to this too, you've gone from trying to get happiness from the women to generating it for yourself (giving instead of taking) and I've been seeing better and better results too. Smiling is a big part of it, but also strong eye contact and giving yourself to have permission to have fun in all your social interactions. The amazing thing is now meeting women does not feel like work, it just happens naturally due to me expressing myself better. Great post.
/r/seduction30/04/15 11:12 AM
1

I say stick with the short and blunt texts but throw in the occasional smiley or exclamation, the exception is if she is texting back alot and then you can probably let loose a bit more. I don't think short blunt texts would be a sign of disinterest for the girl, if they are into you enough they will want to respond. Like Mark Manson says, just text a simple "Hey X, it was nice meeting you" the day after and if they don't respond within a few days then they are likely to flake on you eventually.…
/r/seduction28/04/15 11:40 AM
1

This is very good, it is important to recognise these small victories. You just proved to yourself that if it was a different context, such as you introducing yourself to a girl and she reacts like that, you can handle it! Keep doing these small bold moves in your daily life and it starts to feel natural and after a while you are expressing yourself freely more and more which is a big part of confidence. Keep at it!
/r/seduction24/04/15 09:51 AM
1

Are you smiling, or at least a smirk/grin on your face? If you are feeling happy with yourself and going about your business, you may get the odd eye contact from a cute girl. When it comes to strangers and there is no context for meeting (eg. you are walking down the street) most people will not give you eye contact including women. More importantly with eye contact, is to be able to hold it without breaking it for as long as possible when talking to someone.
/r/seduction24/04/15 09:41 AM
1

Cool, thanks for clarifying. I think we're on the same page :)
/r/seduction24/04/15 08:48 AM
1

I actually disagree to some extent based on my own experience. I'll qualify that by saying that of course you need to meet women to get better with them. But when I first got into this, I spent 3 years forcing myself to approach and whilst I learned alot, got a bunch of numbers, a few dates and a short term relationship, I ultimately had not improved my confidence much and I ended up getting very disappointed with results and giving up for a few years. There is also the school of thought that sa…
/r/seduction23/04/15 10:47 AM
1

Yeah, of course I would still be pursuing other women for dating, but I think I can see the value in having a circle of female friends too.
/r/seduction23/04/15 10:08 AM
2

Yeah, I've had to do alot of work to lose those nice-guy traits (which is why we're here). Thanks for your input.
/r/seduction23/04/15 10:06 AM
1

Thanks for the woman's perspective. This is the type of scenario I was imagining in OP's post. I think a lot of people read the word "friendzone" and already have a negative definition of it being the whole desperate, one-itis waiting around type scenario. This reply just proves that a woman may not have the best first impression of you (or she is distracted as you say) but can change her mind after getting to know the real you over time. The key, it seems, is that you keep her as a friend with …
/r/seduction22/04/15 11:10 AM
0

Thanks for this post, I needed to hear this. I got the response "Sure, we can hang out but it has to be as friends for now". I interpreted this as I'd never have a chance with this particular girl but in reality she may have just wanted to get to know me a bit better before going on a date (we had only met for an hour or two previously) or maybe some other complication with her present situation (eg. just broke up with a boyfriend). I told her that I can't be friends with her as I am attracted t…
/r/seduction22/04/15 10:40 AM
1

Make a list of what you think are your faults, insecurities or imperfections. Admit to yourself that you have these things and that is ok, people may judge you for them and that is also ok. Slowly start to admit or reveal these things to those people around you but make sure it is part of the general conversation and not just something your blurting out to people. You don't need to start telling everyone your deep dark secrets, just try to push your boundaries a bit more with each social interac…
/r/seduction20/04/15 11:44 AM
2

Yes, the reason is you already had your lifestyle handled and not being vulnerable was holding you back. The reason Models is great is that it covers everything so that no matter where you're at in your transformation, you'll find something useful to work on. I would say the vulnerability stuff has helped me the most as well because I already had a pretty decent lifestyle and was already a decent communicator.
/r/seduction09/04/15 09:40 AM
1

Yes, very well said.
/r/seduction09/04/15 09:27 AM
3

Yeah, it's not easy if you're not used to it. You've got to get rejections and learn to be comfortable with it. Manson calls this "the pain period". I'm experencing mostly rejection at the moment, but I can feel that I'm becoming immune to it.
/r/seduction08/04/15 12:11 PM
1

I think he teaches some techniques, which is just to improve your odds. He doesn't teach routines because that is not being vulnerable, that is being fake. The point is that you become so comfortable with yourself it doesn't matter what you say, only how you project yourself.
/r/seduction08/04/15 11:26 AM
1

Well improving yourself is a big part of it for alot of guys. Maybe you're already comfortable in your own skin and this doesn't apply to you, but I related to the OP about how improving yourself (or investing in yourself) can be bit of a revelation when we are not used to getting much attention from females. I think we both agree though that being attractive itself, does not lead to more dating, it's just a fundemantal issue that needs to be addressed first.
/r/seduction08/04/15 10:44 AM
3

Clearly you haven't read Models, because if you had, you'd know that is only one aspect of the book (as I pointed out in my original reply). Models actually has a fair bit of strategy in it (eg. polarizing women, targeting demographics, best nights for dating, cutting out porn, how to communicate effectively, how to dress etc). I know it's not good to put all your faith in one book and I read other stuff too, but it's one of the best I've read.
/r/seduction08/04/15 09:30 AM
32

Yeah, this started happening to me a while ago after deciding I was putting myself first from now on. It kind of blows your mind at first and you think it's a coincidence, but then it happens again and again and you realise that women are becoming more open to you. However, I still kind of struggle with honest action a bit and whilst I've been meeting more women, I am not getting any dates yet. Remember that your lifestyle is only one aspect, you also have to become more vulnerable, take action …
/r/seduction08/04/15 08:24 AM
3

I think you just put it down to she was curious about you but ultimately not into you. She was having a bit of fun and so were you, but you may have read too much into the situation due to the pills (and was she on pills as well?). This happens all the time, just accept the rejection and move on. Your ability to handle this and move on will be important for you to meet the next, hopefully more receptive woman. Congratulate yourself on the fact that you took action and it was fun.
/r/seduction07/04/15 01:18 PM
0

This is good advice. I will also say that the OP's intentions are probably what's destroying any chance of success. It's great that you've been approaching, but 1000 approaches and not much success means you are trying to "take" from women. Trying to pick them up in order to make yourself feel better, to feel validated, to feel worthy. Women sense this as subtle desperation and turns them off big time. The solution to this is to become fulfillfed first (happy with yourself) and then approach wom…
/r/seduction04/04/15 09:44 AM
1

I feel for you mate, I've struggled with this stuff for a long time also (I'm 36 and haven't been on a date in 7 years). Finish reading models and then re-read all the good stuff that struck a chord with you. Models helped me quite a bit especially the stuff about vulnerability, polarizing women and habit change. The adivce from models is pick one thing that you can start working on, such as making better eye contact, then consiocusly make longer and longer eye contact with people that you inter…
/r/seduction04/04/15 06:45 AM
1

Good post. I wonder though, what would happen if she had said she was single. Would your behavior have changed automatically perhaps? The issue is that of outcome dependance. When you know she's taken already, being yourself is easy as you have no objective. However, if you know she's single, all of sudden the old habbit of "being what you think she wants" kicks in and you can't control it. So, it's great that you have this realisation but also realise that you're here because when you know you'…
/r/seduction02/04/15 12:04 PM
1

Upvote for Michael Scott quote ;) But seriosuly, this is a valuable lesson. Run with it. Seeing that so-called "rejection" is not a bad thing allows you to take further action without getting too anxious.
/r/seduction02/04/15 11:58 AM
1

Thanks for posting, I've read Models but it was good to read this right now after getting a soft rejection yesterday (being turned down by a girl for a date). It's not just the one but I've been turned down half a dozen times over the past year and not been on any dates so it can be tough to remain optimistic and be convinced that it is not all about me. However, the positives are that I am actually feeling freer to take action since I am becoming more comfortable with getting rejected. Especial…
/r/seduction30/03/15 12:08 PM
1

I think the "be yourself" advice is more appropriate to guys who are already fun, happy and easy going people but they tend to change their behaviour around women (in the false hope they'll impress them). It isn't appropriate advice for a person who sees themselves as an asshole and is unhappy or depressed. In this case, it is best to work on changing yourself into someone who you will be happy with. Have you worked out who that is? Once you have, start changing your habits and mindsets graduall…
/r/seduction22/03/15 09:45 AM
3

Working on longer eye contact, chatting to shop keepers is a good start. Try to be more social and share yourself in every situation, not just with girls.
/r/seduction20/03/15 01:29 PM
1

Yep, I've been there. You're trying to pick up women and its making you come off needy. You are outcome dependant even though you've probably read about that term 100's of times and thought you got past it. You've got to take a step back and not base your happiness on getting the girl. Make yourself happy first by indulging in whatever fulfills you outside of dating (eg. family, work, hobbys, friends, self improvement etc) and then try going out again and maintain that purpose of serving yoursel…
/r/seduction20/03/15 11:59 AM
1

Unless you're an experienced smoker ;)
/r/seduction20/03/15 11:40 AM
4

This. I see the problem as you measure your success by how well you did with women that night. Change your measure of success to YOU TOOK ACTION AND HOW MUCH FUN YOU HAD. The beauty of this is when you focus on your own fun and enjoyment first, you relax and chatting to people is alot easier and your not subtley communicating neediness. Whether you scored with a girl or not will matter much less as you still enjoyed yourself, now you won't lose motivation. This will sound counter intuitive becau…
/r/seduction20/03/15 11:33 AM
1

Just read your reply after I submitted mine. This is exactly what I'm saying as well, huzaaa!
/r/seduction17/03/15 10:58 AM
1

I don't think it's a problem as long as you are not using it as an excuse to be unsociable. I passionately talk to friends and colleagues about tv shows and movies, I'm sure most people do. It could also lead to socialising opportunies such as outdoor cinemas, film festivals, conventions etc I ultimately don't think it's that important that you have hobbys that will enable you to meet women, it is more that you are enjoying your life and having fun and then expressing that to women when you do e…
/r/seduction17/03/15 10:55 AM
2

Ok great, it sounds like you are interesting and happy with your life, but you seem reluctant to express that to women. If you are expressing your passions and interests and the girls can't relate, then maybe you are targeting the wrong demographics. Is a ditzy club girl the type of girl you are after? It shouldn't matter WHAT you are into, only that you can demonstrate the joy you get from these things. You won't hit it off with all girls, probably not even most girls, so don't get down on your…
/r/seduction17/03/15 09:03 AM
6

It's great that you've read those books, they've helped me alot. My take away from these books is that by working on yourself and putting yourself first, you get to a point where you are not thinking about "what do i say? what do i talk about?". That is coming from the mindset of needing to be perfect or impressing others by saying what you think will keep their attention. If talking about those topics (that you mentioned) genuinely excites you, then talk about them! That's what vulnerabilty is,…
/r/seduction16/03/15 10:17 AM
1

Yes, I like that quote from Mark Manson too and I've found it to be true. It is fine to have a goal such as getting married by 30, but that is putting your happines on an outcome. The point here is to learn to get enjoyment from doing small things regularly that may end up helping you achieve your goal. Don't delay your happiness for some future event that may or may not happen. I'm 36, single and never been married, but I'm pretty happy in my day to day life. I don't stress about being married …
/r/seduction16/03/15 09:21 AM
3

It seems like you are overwhelmed with the amount of change you need to make and it is paralyzing you from taking action. You need to start very simple. Eg. start making longer eye contact with everyone. Work on that one thing for a few weeks, maybe months if that's what it takes. Be willing to over-step the mark with it (eg. hold eye contact until it becomes too uncomfortable). Take note of how people may subtley react to you now that you are holding stronger eye contact and use those positive …
/r/seduction15/03/15 08:40 AM
2

You've got to find what puts you into "state" in your everyday life, so that every day you're aiming for fun. That way it is normal and not something you have to try to "re-ignite" when you go to a party. To me that is living your life on your terms, freely expressing yourself and doing things that you enjoy. No doubt you were exhibiting those traits when you were "on fire".
/r/seduction10/03/15 12:05 PM
1

I'll just add, you don't have to go and do improv classes to practice this (although probably very helpful for some). I more or less just practiced saying what was on my mind, not giving myself a chance to think about it when with coworkers, family, friends etc. It just starts to become normal once you see you can express your opinions freely and if someone objects its not really a big deal. If your intentions are for fun and connecting with people, you can't really go wrong.
/r/seduction09/03/15 10:51 AM
1

I agree with most of what you've said but don't make nofap a religion. I've given it a good go too and didn't notice much affects. Not saying it doesn't work for alot of guys and it's worth anyone trying but I don't feel like I need it either. Yet I am still feeling more and more confident due to other changes I've made.
/r/seduction08/03/15 09:39 AM
1

Good to hear :) You'll gain confidence by living life on your own terms and going after things you desire. You can build this habbit gradually by just taking small actions slightly outside your comfort zone (eg. smiling at a stranger)
/r/seduction08/03/15 09:34 AM
23

This sounds similar to my transformation, except I don't have the girl yet :) Very well done mate.
/r/seduction08/03/15 09:28 AM
1

Dude, I'm somewhat ginger too and I can understand it can feel a bit isolating sometimes, but it's honestly not a big deal. People have called me ranga and stuff but it is so much easier if you just roll with it and laugh about it rather than taking it as an insult or whatever. You got to own who you are and accept the things you can't change. You do that and people will trust you and like you for it regardless of race, hair colour or short-comings. I know it's hard, but stop measuring yourself …
/r/seduction07/03/15 01:16 PM
3

Try going out on your own for a purpose other than meeting people or picking up. Eg. Go see a band you like. When you can enjoy yourself on your own, without juding success by how many people you talked to, you can then share that joy with people around you and socializing may not seem so difficult after all. I went out last friday on my own and chatted to maybe 10 people (yes, girls too) in about 2 hours, some conversations were short and others were longer but I had no agenda so just saying wh…
/r/seduction07/03/15 01:06 PM
1

The people who express themselves genuinely will be the ones that others are drawn to. These guys are having fun for themselves and not thinking about "approaching", they're just being social and not caring. Try focusing on that same attitude instead of the all-or-nothing "i have to approach".
/r/seduction07/03/15 12:59 PM
6

Make yourself happy by creating your own fun and your own life based on your principles and desires. Don't do what others expect of you and give up worrying about what they think of you. How to start? Go out and do something for yourself today. Eg. See a movie, have a fancy lunch, go for a scenic walk...whatever YOU want.
/r/seduction01/03/15 10:08 AM
2

Assume Attraction should not be interpreted as "all girls are attracted to me" but rather "don't even think about whether shes attracted or not, if you want to talk to her then just do it regardless". I think OP is on the right track with how he describes it.
/r/seduction28/02/15 09:22 AM
2

Yep, great attitude. Not only does this release the anxiety but also comes off as confident and attractive. If you don't fear being judged, you're free to express your true self.
/r/seduction26/02/15 10:52 AM
1

Very well said. If you think your own life is boring then you are probably relying on other people to add value to your life. This is the wrong path. If you want a more enjoyable and/or exciting life then you have to start making small choices that will help you achieve that. Then when you're enjoying yourself, you share that with those around you (including women) and things become a fair bit easier.
/r/seduction22/02/15 10:17 AM
1

Great report, very motivating. I've come to this conclusion as well over the past 12 months; it's all about your vibe! If you are having fun and not caring, you can say pretty much anything even shit that doesn't make sense will be ignored in favour of carrying on the good vibes. I really like that quote too, I know who steve mcqueen is but hadn't heard it before. This is kind of the attitude I've been living lately and it's very freeing. I am going to a gig this friday on my own so will definit…
/r/seduction22/02/15 07:38 AM
1

The thing is, if you're having fun and smiling, you can do whatever you want as long as it is an extension of the fun you're already having. Some people will want to join in that fun and some won't. Stop trying to craft the perfect approach that will make you look smooth. Lastly, you don't have to really focus on large groups of girls...you only need to focus on a single girl at a time. If you capture one girl's attention, then the rest of the group will probably stop as well.
/r/seduction21/02/15 11:19 AM
1

Agreed. You're trying to get them attracted to you which is a "taking" mindset and that comes off as subtle desperation. This is why people say "assume attraction" because it allows you more freedom to be yourself without trying to get something, get approval. It's easier to assume attraction when you have good self esteem, so work on that too.
/r/seduction21/02/15 11:09 AM
2

Just say Hi. I don't think your problem is that you don't know how to start a conversation with someone. I think it is more that you are afraid what will happen after you start a conversation. They may not be keen, you may not think of anything else to say, you may think you need to say something to keep their attention etc. Try approaching it from the angle of just say "hi" and see what happens next. It doesn't matter if it goes nowhere at least you did something right? A step in the right dire…
/r/seduction19/02/15 10:25 AM
1

Mate, if you're in high school I would say lowering your standards is not a bad thing in order to get some experience. In fact it's difficult to have solid standards unless you've had some experiences you don't want to have again. If you like the girl a bit, at least see it out to it's conclusion.
/r/seduction18/02/15 08:52 AM
1

No worries, just speaking my truth ;)
/r/seduction17/02/15 09:49 AM
1

You've made it! Integrate this into your whole life not just clubbing. I'm pretty jealous you figured this out so early and it's taken me many years ;)
/r/seduction17/02/15 09:44 AM
2

Alot of us already have :) I know the guy who wrote that ebook (Logun) and he was talking about this stuff back in 2007, there just wasn't alot of other guys around at the time that agreed. Pretty sure he's married now.
/r/seduction17/02/15 09:42 AM
2

This is where being comfortable with yourself and expressing who you are is required. If you are used to hiding parts of yourself from people due to fear or shame, then this is what you can focus on. It's also known as vulnerability. You mention panic attacks which is something you might feel is shameful or embarrasing. But if you can learn to accept it and "own it" and speak freely about it (if the topic comes up or is related to the conversation of course) people will connect with you. As Mark…
/r/seduction16/02/15 11:26 AM
3

G'day, I know how you feel as many men do. The great thing is you've identified the problem in your own post. "When i make the intentions to speak to a girl to PICKUP, i freeze. When i make the intentions to speak to a girl casually, I demonstrate me for what i am and my confident assertive personality easily takes over. No problems. " I'm going to recommend you DROP THE PICKUP MINDSET now, it is what is causing you to create an outcome and this ruins all sponteniety and free-flowing personality…
/r/seduction16/02/15 10:21 AM
1

Exactly! which is why it is so frustrating, it's like they read us better than we know ourselves. I highly recommend you read this link too: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2c8g4o/i_am_john_cooper_teacher_of_seduction_without/ This guy describes it as "taking" where you are trying to get something from the girl instead of just giving yourself freely. The taking mindset causes anxiety and inhibits you. But if you can change your mindset to giving (aka living your life for yourself) you…
/r/seduction15/02/15 10:02 AM
2

Apart from having cancer (sorry to hear that, good luck), are you happy with yourself and your life? Are you making an effort to create the kind of life you desire? Or are you kind of just letting your friends decide what to do and where to go and you just follow their fun? Good looking guys who have their shit together can still be unattractive to women and it's because they still have that habit of putting other peoples (friends, family etc) choices, desires, opinions ahead of their own choice…
/r/seduction15/02/15 05:37 AM
2

No worries mate. As for the girl who walked away mid conversation you can even say that is not really a rejection as she didn't actually tell you to go away. It might be a little awkward but you handled it and that's how most "rejections" are.
/r/seduction14/02/15 10:38 AM
1

You're on the right track, but rather than seeing game as fun, see it as you are going out to have fun and chatting to girls is just part of that. Try to even drop the whole "gaming" mindset as that immediately makes you have a goal of getting a girl. Try to adapt the "just have fun" mindset and then you are giving value instead of trying to take it. I was like you and spent 3 years spinning my wheels going out practicing 2-3 times a week at bars. When I adapted the just have fun mindset everyth…
/r/seduction14/02/15 10:32 AM
2

Very well done! It's great to celebrate a success but remember that you are also working on yourself and that you need to start getting used to rejection as well. The nerves are probably being afraid of getting shot down but if you become less worried about how she reacts the nerves will start to fade. If you go do this same approach on 10 other girls, it's like only 1 or 2 may respond like this one did so be ready for that too :) Well done again, it was a good deed.
/r/seduction13/02/15 10:50 AM
2

It seems like you think that if you keep your headphones off, you will get approached by girls? I don't think that's going to happen (at least no more than what is normal for you). Otherwise it's you who is in charge of initiating conversations and you're going to have to remove your headphones if you want to hear what she says :)
/r/seduction13/02/15 10:41 AM
1

To freely admit who you are, your insecurities, fears, goals, desires. If you accept who you are, you don't need anyone else's approval, therefore you're confident. It's nothing to do with girls, careers, money or friends, these are just circumstances where lack of confidence causes issues.
/r/seduction12/02/15 01:21 PM
2

I think maybe you have an inaccurate view of what confidence is. Being confident does not mean you give a fuck about nothing and would start making reckless decisions with your job. People can be great at their job and still have low self esteem. The "not give a fuck" attitude is in regards to what other people think about you, you still give many fucks about how you do your job and live your life.
/r/seduction08/02/15 09:32 AM
5

If you're afraid to admit your age then you are insecure about it and insecurity is being unconfident. Own it and understand not all young girls will want to be with someone your age (Mark Manson calls it demographics). Having said that, if you are really attractive to a girl, she will probably not care much about your age. An opposite example is a 20 year old guy would probably still fuck a 40 year old women if she was super hot because her attractiveness outweighs the issue of age difference. …
/r/seduction07/02/15 04:49 AM
1

You're either alpha or not, you don't turn it on for a given situation. In fact, don't even bother with that word, it is loaded with negative conotations (eg. being asshole, dominating others, forcing your beliefs on others) If you just want to be confident, then you will start focusing on your own goals and not whether others interpret you as alpha or not. Any time you start thinking you need to be something or portray yourself a certain way then you are performing to the others and unless you …
/r/seduction07/02/15 04:41 AM
1

Getting to know someone is about sharing experiences, not just exchanging facts about each other. If you can share multiple different experiences (eg. changing venues), you have the possibility of developing a stronger connection (ie. varied shared experiences).
/r/seduction07/02/15 04:31 AM
4

The fact she said you're bold is a good sign. Follow up on the number without being needy and see where it goes, don't over analyse it. Well done also!
/r/seduction06/02/15 11:57 AM
1

I agree, it's not inherently creepy to add her since you have talked already. However, if shes already thinks you are creepy then it will be interpreted as creepy. If she thinks you are fine then it will be fine. What you should be focused on is not giving a fuck. If she says your creepy or whatever, will you feel rejected and withdrawn? Or will you just accept it and move on? What you are doing now is focusing way too much on an outcome and you know that's bad right!
/r/seduction05/02/15 09:37 AM
2

Exactly. It's actually yourself thinking about what others might be thinking about you which is utterly useless, yet causes alot of anxiety.
/r/seduction05/02/15 09:29 AM
1

I actually don't like the term having "value" because it seems like some mystical trait that we don't possess, but I agree mostly with Naga14's interpretation of it. Value is focusing on creating your own fun, not waiting for others to provide it to you. I don't think you need to go so far as "making sure others are having fun" because that also seems like trying to control something external to yourself. If you are creating your own fun, then people around you will naturally have fun with you i…
/r/seduction04/02/15 11:45 AM
2

I'm mid thirties also and also finally realising all of this. Life is just so much easier and fulfilling when you're not worried about others opinions of you. It can be a tough habit to crack but it is a path to freedom.
/r/seduction04/02/15 11:39 AM
1

Great summary of healthy mindsets.
/r/seduction04/02/15 11:08 AM
1

That's true. Sometimes we can read something and not take the time to understand it or realise it's potential usefulness (usually because of current biases). I actually found alot of the No More Mr Nice Guy stuff not relevant to my situation but the bits that hit home were really useful and helped give me clear image of how I could change.
/r/seduction03/02/15 09:13 AM
1

How about inviting the girl over on a different night when you don't have a bunch of dudes to perform in front of?
/r/seduction01/02/15 09:30 AM
2

Nothing wrong with therapy if that's what you think you need (Models recommends it for some people and I think Mark said he did some therapy in the early days). However, you've read No More Mr Nice Guy 3 times. Have you heeded any of the advice? What are you doing to invest in yourself? As BrianFlanagan mentioned, travel can be good and is a form of investing in yourself (as long as you decide where you want to go and what YOU want to do). It also puts you in the position of having to rely on yo…
/r/seduction01/02/15 07:44 AM
1

I commend your enthusiasm, however don't confuse being unattractive with being ugly. It feels like you are trying to get these people's approval, to validate that you're not ugly. But that is unattractive (the attention seeking) and that is what most likely people are getting from you. Practical Advice: If you are really ugly and there's no hope, then why not go live your life as enjoyable as you can? Have fun despite other people and give up worrying how your physicallity is interpreted by othe…
/r/seduction31/01/15 01:43 PM
1

It all depends on where you are at. Models I see as a comprehensive guide that covers everything. If you were a complete social outcast, then you would probably need to work through most of the material. However if you already pretty attractive (decent lifestyle, fairly honest and vulnerable) and the problem is more meeting and finding the right women then you only need to worry about that advice for now. For me, I have already spent years on developing my communication skills so alot of that do…
/r/seduction31/01/15 12:06 PM
1

Well done. It's your first time in a bar, it's ok to get too drunk but you learned the lesson and next time you will get better at not drinking too much (hopefully!). I'm 15 years older and occasionally still get a bit too drunk ;)
/r/seduction29/01/15 11:31 AM
1

What do you mean by cold approach? With all of those activities you do, surely there are some cute women around? I would start with just chatting and getting to know the women in your existing circles. Talk to them without an agenda and see how you go. Also, people who do great things can have low self esteem. You sound like you might be a perfectionist which actually hinders meeting women because you are much more afraid of failing/being rejected. The basics of confidence are 1. Failing and bei…
/r/seduction29/01/15 10:21 AM
2

Yep, you've learned the valuable lesson. Once I learned this (and it took a long time to realise it), things just got a fair bit easier.
/r/seduction25/01/15 09:02 AM
2

The problem is you're placing your happiness on whether you get attention from a girl or not. Next time you go clubbing, drop the whole pick up mindset and try having the most fun night of your life without chatting up girls. You might just find that when you're creating your own fun (leading) that girls start noticing you. If you do chat to girls it will be an extension of the fun you are already having and not a forced approach that comes off desperate. It may take a while to adopt this mindse…
/r/seduction18/01/15 10:52 AM
1

No, the idea is the cards represent something you think would get you rejected. You probably will find that you don't get rejected all the time by these challenges and that is part of the point! When you see for yourself that often you won't be rejected and that when you do, it's no big deal, then the fear starts to go away.
/r/seduction18/01/15 07:24 AM
2

I agree folderol, I went out for a few years approaching women and the fear/anxiety never really went away and I think it was because I would still take the rejection or failure as meaning something about myself. Recently however (after reading Models), I am more open to rejection now that I know how to deal with it (ie. it's not about me). My goals now are to take more action towards getting rejections to make more progress.
/r/seduction18/01/15 07:19 AM
3

Yes, I realised a while ago that focusing on fun instead of on picking up is ironically the easier way to meet women (and without the anxiety). This is basically putting your own needs first which manifests as confidence. Good report, I really wish I had known this a long time ago! Remember this lesson and never fall back into the pattern of trying to "get" women when you go out...that is the opposite of fun :)
/r/seduction18/01/15 07:12 AM
1

Downvote for this comment, of course you can ask her how her tennis games are going...it's the fucking context! And what philosophy do you follow that says you need to be entertaining?? If you are thinking what you need to talk about then you've already made it difficult for yourself and are outcome dependant. Go up to her with the attitude that you're just trying to find out about her/get to know her, because you have no idea what she's like right? And you have standards right? She could be com…
/r/seduction14/01/15 10:02 AM
2

Well done!
/r/seduction14/01/15 09:28 AM
1

Yes, if going out isn't fun you should not be doing it. It's not fun because you've got the sole purpose of getting chicks, rather than enjoying yourself. Trust me when I say that when you are out and enjoying yourself and not giving a shit about "game" you will start getting attention from girls and some may even open you (it happened to me a couple of months ago with a tall blonde at a festival...I couldn't believe it she blatantly approached me and was chatting me up). You have to create your…
/r/seduction12/01/15 09:38 AM
1

So what if you don't talk to girls? This is what I'm trying to say, you need to go out and not feel the need to talk to girls! Don't worry about AA because you are not going to do any of those forced approaches anymore. Can you see how this PUA "approach machine" mindset has taken away your sponteniety and enjoyment? You've admitted this has not worked, yet it feels like you are reading my resopnses through the lense of this existing paradigm. Don't worry about being a value giver, this is still…
/r/seduction11/01/15 10:59 AM
1

Cheers brother!
/r/seduction10/01/15 01:06 PM
2

No worries :) Yeah, this is the heart of it. Imagine if you were never to have another girl in your life and you knew that now. How would you create your life so that it is enjoyable anyway? Imagine that nobody actually gave a fuck about what you do with your life and you could do anything you like? You clearly are not enjoying yourself now by just going out trying to get girls, so try something different for a while (ie making yourself happy) and see how it goes. At least if you still don't get…
/r/seduction10/01/15 12:42 PM
1

I imagine there are a lot of guys like us who read alot of the traditional seduction material and couldn't get it to work for them, even with great effort. Models by no means endorses a quick fix and I guess progress will depend on how much baggage you have to deal with and how quickly you can become comfortable with rejection etc. The way I see it is I spent 3 years going nowhere, so if it takes another 3 years or more to actually experience real change then thats just how it has to be. The dif…
/r/seduction10/01/15 12:32 PM
5

This was my experience around 2006 to 2009, I was going out every weekend and able to approach and get into conversations with girls. Sometimes I would get a number but it was rare to get a girl out on a date. I had a FWB for about 3 months in this period and a couple of other makeouts but that was about the extent of it. Most of these "results" were earlier on as well and things just never seemed to improve and the more I went out and didn't get results, the harder it become to be motivated. So…
/r/seduction10/01/15 08:18 AM
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