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Jwoot1111 Archive

View 11 posts and 191 comments by Jwoot1111 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Stay away from her. Cut the relationship It’s not good for you and she is using you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 12:14 PM
3

Get one. What are you doing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:50 PM
1

What do you think she is afraid of? Does your lawyer thing she will not get alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 01:55 PM
3

What kinda alimony are you looking at? According to the lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:32 AM
1

Fired for what? How common is that?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 04:00 AM
2

Do the lawyers think your chances of custody modification is good? Hopefully the kids weren’t in the car.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 01:31 PM
2

Thought the same thing
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 11:24 PM
3

Thanks. That’s exactly how I see it. Only a female can run a female down. I did 4 consults in total. The guy I like the most was just too nice imo. Alcohol is a big part of my wifes issue as well. Drunken wife who was arrested for DV with children present. Tried to work it out but drinking continues. Your lawyer played up the alcohol abuse end whatever was going with it?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 08:36 PM
4

That’s what I’m looking for. Only a woman can destroy a woman and not look bad doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 08:29 PM
3

No kidding. That was my issue with the men as well. They were slimy and it seemed like they just wanted to walk into my marriage and drop a bomb.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 08:26 PM
1

I didn’t mean for it to sound like they weren’t capable. More that a couple I came across seemed like bitter feminists.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 08:25 PM
4

That’s what I want…but I think I just bumped into a couple bitter feminists
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 08:24 PM
4

I think this field is full of these bitter feminist types. That’s how the consult felt for me. I’m sure there are some killer female lawyers though that could help balance my male energy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:53 PM
1

It’s not that. My gust tells me female to balance things but my 1 consult with a female and she was ready to give everything away. Vs the males weren’t exactly giving me a peachy scenerio but it wasn’t to just give it all away.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:52 PM
1

“I can’t help it if we get a bad judge” was said in my first consult. Def didn’t hire that guy
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 02:54 PM
1

I think this is common. I also would have left when she got her DV. But I didn’t. If I had, I’m sure I’d always wonder if it was fixable and blame myself for the damage the divorce did to the kids. I’m 1 year post her dv and things are somewhat better but she is slipping back into the drinking.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 12:22 PM
4

I hope you have a solid lawyer. Dont give up the assets if she is pushing this. Maybe even go in the offensive and get plenty of time with the kids. She sounds like a wreck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 07:36 PM
1

This all seems like common sense stuff. I guess I’m too honest. If they were to drain or take an account is it that hard to claw back? Because I keep getting told(from lawyers or whoever) that if i was to hide anything, it would be found and I would be punished for it or it would backfire on me jn settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 02:17 PM
1

How does one protect assets.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:10 PM
1

Because she can(seems likely) agree to not getting it for a lump sum buyout.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 11:02 AM
1

Yea. Basically. Unless you get custody. Just be glad you won’t have alimony obligations for life. Or at all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 10:52 PM
8

She has more than you know about
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 07:52 PM
2

What do you mean the friend of the court?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 07:22 PM
1

Yea I get it. Lawyers don’t seem to think it will go as bad for her. Probably just get forced to take tests and classes but won’t lose visitation. So I’ve been hesitant to do anything crazy and refuse to leave them alone. I have a job to keep which is what provides. It’s a tough spot.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:23 AM
1

It’s never been exactly regular behavior. The emotional stuff sure but the real crazy stuff is a quarterly kind of thing. That’s what makes it tough.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:17 AM
1

I have a lawyer and did like 5 consults but most of them just seem to want to blow the situation up. My wife was also arrested for DV with the child present. I’ve probably just read too many horror stories and have no faith in the system. But I’ve got a ton of dirt on her with proof. Getting cps invovled is another option. But again, it blows it up and what’s best for my daughter is she has a healthy mom in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:53 PM
1

I’m more concerned about a judge will look at this based on people’s experiences. It’s not a regular occurrence but this behavior keeps returning. Though if I suspect again she is doing it I will call the police. But if I am wrong, this starts to look bad on me and guarantees the end of my marriage and an awful divorce. Telling the cops she admitted to drinking and driving in a text isn’t going to do anything. Or trying to install a device in her care against her will is also not an option unles…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:46 PM
1

Thanks. It’s not that I’m shooting for that. But that’s a good sign they these things are taken serious.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:48 PM
1

I have decent proof I think… a few texts admitting driving drunk with child and tons of audios of her drunken screaming telling my daughter I’m a cunt and whatever else. Going back to the drunken DV arrest with child present. I have some sort of paranoia that a judge will just give a pass/2nd chance on these things.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:09 PM
1

She doesn’t want the divorce. She just wants to have her drink. In this state you must separate a year. So there is no divorce unless one leaves.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:57 AM
2

Then I can’t divorce her. And the longer I want the more likely I have to pay alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:51 AM
2

Get a heloc on the house brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:05 AM
1

What he can’t afford is paying that equity to her
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:04 AM
12

Yes. Petty and selfish. Make changes for your family as a whole. Not just yourself
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 12:11 PM
3

Get a damn lawyer now and get custody. He is old enough to make an impact on where he stays. He definitely doesn’t want to be around that guy. I don’t care if you can afford it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:35 PM
1

I consulted with 4/5. 1 just seemed like she was going to roll over. Actually. It almost seemed from the get go that she wasn’t in my side and was in more support of my wife, who had been arrested for DV 2 with our child present and had a history of drunkenness. It was a surreal consultation for me. She was also extremely expensive. 10k retainer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 01:52 PM
1

Probably illegal. She can record in most states if she is present. In this case she isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 02:28 AM
4

How Fd in the head that individual must be. Keep a close eye on your kids. Wouldn’t surprise me if he isn’t saying the same stuff to them. There is no way they like that sort of behavior. They may end up wanting to live with you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 10:27 PM
2

Ya dude. Get out. Maybe, maybe. Give her 1 shot if she wants and only after you leave once. But watch yourself. Don’t wanna end up in jail. Do not accept this behavior. It’s no way to live.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 03:35 PM
2

This isn’t going to work long term. So you have to go. She will change and become super wife. For a while. Then she will show you again how she is. So maybe a 2nd chance is fine. But not a 3rd How long of a marriage? How many kids?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:33 AM
0

It’s not a loop hole lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:15 AM
0

It’s the law lol You may not exactly need to prove it. But while you are in a contested divorce ya don’t exactly want to look like a liar. Amiright? Are you saying all the lawyers are wrong? Pk2at on Reddit has it all figured out? North Carolina law (G.S. § 50-6) requires spouses to live “separate and apart” for one year before they can file for divorce. This means you must live in separate residences and act as if you’re no longer married, but the separation period resets if you resume the rela…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:34 AM
0

“Yes, both North Carolina (NC) and South Carolina (SC) require a mandatory separation period before a no-fault divorce, with South Carolina requiring one full year (12 months) and North Carolina requiring at least one year and one day, with both states needing proof of living separate and apart with no intent to reconcile. This separation period acts as the primary ground for divorce in SC, while NC also allows fault-based grounds but mandates the separation for an absolute divorce. “ I’ve lived…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:10 AM
1

“Yes, both North Carolina (NC) and South Carolina (SC) require a mandatory separation period before a no-fault divorce, with South Carolina requiring one full year (12 months) and North Carolina requiring at least one year and one day, with both states needing proof of living separate and apart with no intent to reconcile. This separation period acts as the primary ground for divorce in SC, while NC also allows fault-based grounds but mandates the separation for an absolute divorce. “
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:08 AM
1

Yea they really like to become the super wife. It’s amazing how every step of the way they push back on everything until it’s right in the edge and they are ready to give in. You accept. And the process starts over.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:34 PM
1

I am at the same stage and it’s incredibly hard. I’ve gone back and forth for a couple of months. As time goes on she will show you once again why you came to that conclusion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:17 PM
6

Brother. This doesn’t sound brutal. Feel blessed that she didn’t wait for children or assets
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:01 PM
2

I did like 4 consults. I liked this one the best. Tbh I really didn’t like any of them besides this guy. But he definitely is trying not to drop a bomb in the middle of it which might work well for me…or could just blow up in my face. They all feel like scammers.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 07:54 PM
1

My Lawyer is very hesitant to do things like this. Other lawyers I consulted with said the DV was too long ago(may).
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:45 PM
2

In my state you cannot stay under the same Roof
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:44 PM
3

Spoke to many. Must live separate.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:44 PM
3

Plenty of proof of that. Probably going to have to be the route with an at fault divorce I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:43 PM
2

Stop drinking. Do anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 07:49 PM
8

Well, the bright side is alimony and you ur oldest will drop off…it’s not lifetime. Your oldest will quickly find out what’s going on and they will tell the rest of them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 07:12 PM
5

For how long is the alimony portion?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:54 PM
5

F nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:52 PM
4

Talk to a lawyer now, don’t wait h til the baby is 1 Also, like others said, be very involved with the baby. Go to all appointments. If she will let you take the baby alone to appointments, do it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:29 AM
2

Man that hits home. It’s what I’m expecting to happen except I’m guessing mine will end up strung out somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:03 AM
2

Not even sure how you stop that tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 06:22 PM
4

I get brought back in after dealing with a drunk who’s been arrested for DV against me and has a history of crazy outbursts. It’s hard, when they are trying. Especially when they are almost like a helpless child. I’m not sure I could handle infidelity though. But I do understand how it’s easy to get pulled back in. I think we have to understand that change isn’t coming. And the longer this goes on, the worse for us.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:33 PM
6

Not sure you can stop that. Gonna lock her in?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:13 PM
1

You didn’t provide a story but the person you miss from the earlier years is most likely gone. You can’t get that person back.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 07:10 PM
2

Lawyers are nothing compared to lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 12:58 AM
2

For how long?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:31 PM
3

Well, when it’s corrected. One day. It will not meet in the middle or go back to “feminist for all intents and purposes” it will be a complete reversal during some sort of collapse. That’s always how these things get fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:30 PM
2

Back to my point then 3 comments ago. She takes the house and pays him to live somewhere. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 02:57 AM
2

You said he should give her money for her to live. They were your words.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 01:31 AM
2

Weird. I don’t know why he should pay bills in a home he doesn’t live in…🤷‍♂️ Seems like we are on the same page. Unless you have a gender bias.??
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:03 AM
2

Why can’t she give him money to help him pay the bills in the house/asset he is going to sell and split?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:55 PM
3

This is the worst advice in history.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 05:09 PM
1

For me, some of the ones with a consult fee had more of a sales pitch than the free guy. Though he wasn’t using his free consult as a pitch either. I can see where that would be salesy
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:13 PM
4

I spoke to 4. The one I liked the most gave free consultations lol. The others were 400-500$ a consult. They are all so different. The woman seemed like she hated me and was gonna give everything. A couple bulldogs wanted to drop a bomb into my marriage. Though one is a very good lawyer. And the free consult guy had all kinds of strategic ideas and has his own small family office. He clearly has more free time, cares more, is a family man. Vs the others I could tell were all very transactional a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:48 AM
5

Don’t ask. Just get a lawyer. Maybe tell her. But get the lawyer lined up if you are sure. Talk to 3-4 minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:18 AM
1

Oh I will definitely tell the family court judge. My idea about narcing is flat out calling the prosecutor and the rep running her pti program and telling them with evidence. It will put her DV charge at step 1 and she is a green card holder……the consequences are massive.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:13 AM
2

Gaslighting is wild. It works. That’s for sure. Dss coming back for something is terrifying. I just enrolled in the 26 week victim course they recommended for me last summer…As much as I hate it. She also skipped her course when it was recommended. When she got put in pti, dss closed their case as unfounded and we skipped these classes. I never felt I should have had to do one but now it’s making more sense to me and I’ll do it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:55 AM
1

I think you are reading too much into it but you do have a bit of a point. If she were to lose her shit and hurt somebody through negligence….it will be when the split comes or sometime after(maybe if I narc on her). Which has been a fear of mine. As long as things are ok at home. She’s decent, when I almost left last time. Shtf. But I guess I’ll see what happens after I see the lawyer. I’m likely filing tomorrow. Guessing she will be served on the day of our anniversary.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:27 AM
1

I’m not sure what you are talking about. Her cousin? Some guy? Nothing was said about lives being in danger. So far 2 lawyers have advised against it. I have a longer meeting tomorrow so we will see.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:15 AM
1

Gotcha. I called on the DV so that’s why she was arrested. The drinking is light at the moment but consistent and is supposed to be zero. It will get worse as she passes the program and time goes on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 12:53 AM
1

Thanks. I do struggle to accept that she will no longer be my concern. She almost needs taken care of, especially in this country. But it’s no longer my issue. Even the money she will get(mid 6 figures) is not my concern. If she goes broke in 5 years(she will) it’s on her. So far the lawyer wants to hold off on ratting her out. He said we can show this proof in family court without looking vindictive and blowing up her situation with her PTI. But we have a meeting tomorrow to go over it in deepe…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 11:53 PM
2

Haha yea. Kinda sad. Even my 9 year old daughter made a comment about her mom always blaming everyone else. Really threw me off when I heard that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 09:09 PM
-1

I was talking about protecting my wife…..the issue with the wife vs daughter is not so cut and dry. It’s easy to say “protect your daughter” but at the same time burning her mother to the point that she cannot function as any sort of mother is not a positive outcome for my daughter I can guarantee that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 07:27 PM
1

This entire time I’ve been afraid I wouldn’t be taken serious. Also I need to be able to go to work. Lawyers I spoke to mostly didn’t think I had much of a case there as I let her back in the home after the DV But I’m lined up to file tomorrow. I’ve given enough chances.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 06:24 PM
1

Got the lawyer appt lined up to file tomorrow morning. He isn’t the meanest one I spoke to. But they might help as I’m not sure a family court judge will like me being as vindictive as I might try to be.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 06:23 PM
0

I’m not trying to actively protect her. But narcing her out is another thing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 06:22 PM
2

She refuses the help. Because she doesn’t exactly binge, she thinks it’s not a problem. But through divorce I imagine it will be forced for visitation. Thanks for the comment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:58 PM
0

She actually would not say anything. I don’t know if it’s because she is a foreigner(Latin) or what. But if the divorce gets rolling. She will get nasty. I think that’s why I feel so weird. Because I’ve realized she would never have called the police like I’d did. Maybe that makes her negligent as what she did was traumatizing for our daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 03:07 PM
1

I hope I get that kind of treatment. Thanks for the story.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 02:46 PM
1

Why do you think he did that? Said zero?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:17 AM
1

How far do they go back?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:13 AM
1

Better get out now before you start making big money.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 12:59 AM
4

That’s a great idea. it may not fix things now but it will be remembered.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 11:07 PM
1

Wild. Thanks for the detailed story. My wife isn’t quite on that level but she has def done some of that. I think some threats have been made to my daughter. Def some explosions on her. But getting it out of my daughter would be tough and I’m not sure it’s right unless she just spits it out. Did you have any idea threats and that sort of treatment was going on when your daughter was 8-12?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 10:49 PM
2

What took the expected 50/50 to 100% custody? Was it simply your daughter’s time with the therapist???
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:31 PM
10

Seems selfish but if you can’t be there for her then. It’s best to let her go. Btw I don’t think you grow apart in 2 years. The excitement you are chasing will never come in a marriage. It is the dating scene. Don’t expect to meet anyone who feels like you are constantly dating random people.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:20 PM
1

You would be surprised. I’ve ever had to give my wife permission to take ours out. Nobody questions her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 06:44 AM
2

The year was treatment and evals to get some sort of visitation, from the way I read it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 06:42 AM
4

When they steal money like that. Are there ever consequences?
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 09:20 PM
1

I’ve got a ton of wild Audio recordings from over the years. Including the night of the arrest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:48 PM
1

She was. They put her in a pre trial program. She drank up until the program began(minus 2-3 weeks after arrest) 2.5 months into the program the admin guy told her no more tests. So it all kicked off again. Not that a urinalysis is very good for alcohol anyway. There is no lawyer. Only consulted for divorce and custody.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:11 AM
1

I worded that bad. I already allowed her back. The consult is after the 4 months.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:37 PM
1

I worked this bad I guess. It already happened.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:36 PM
1

I got it removed 4 months ago when they let her out on bond as I had hopes she took responsibility for her actions. Currently we are “good” in her eyes. But the last consult just made it sound like the DV was worthless or close to it because I let her back in. It’s hard to prove verbal abuse. It’s also hard to prove she is drinking as it’s not extremely excessive at the moment due to her being in a pre trial Program. It’s scary to kick this honest nest if I can’t win as it’s going to make everyt…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:24 PM
1

Why did you let her take your kid? Were you doing that because you knew it put you in control as clearly she doesn’t have the means to divorce you from there. I’m in a similar spot but she isn’t taking my kid. And if she did, they aren’t living in a squaller. Get them a respectable place.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:51 PM
5

Doesn’t seem like your lawyer has steered you wrong yet. I don’t know why you are panicking. Seems her lawyer found a sneaky way to delay mediation for whatever reason. Any questions like this I’d just ask your lawyer to explain what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:50 PM
1

No. Sc does not.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 02:09 PM
7

This was just a consult but the more I think about it the more I saw signs that she was sympathetic to my wife. It was strange. I have so much crap on my wife and it seemed like none of it mattered. Since she spoke to your wife, was there a consequence for that?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:36 AM
2

Sc
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:59 AM
9

She hit me. Threw shit st me. Broke a bunch of shit. And wouldn’t stop. The child was present. Which is why it was upgraded. A child being present makes it more serious and also brought cps in.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:31 AM
9

I didn’t file. She was arrested 5 months ago for DV2 with child present. Don’t make it sound so easy to walk away. It’s not or it wasn’t
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 12:57 AM
2

Oddly enough the free guy felt like the best fit lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:42 PM
1

Sc
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:41 PM
3

Yea it’s hard for me to understand 3 lawyers saying zero(1 being about as high level as it gets) and then 1 telling me it’s a guarantee for life unless my ex messes it up. I feel so stupid getting another consult or recontacting one of the originals. I’m 4 consults and 1100 deep at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:58 PM
5

lol yea. I kinda feel that way now. She had crazy eyes. She is a top notch attorney. Very expensive. But everything about it didn’t feel like she was even with me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:56 PM
1

9 years in dec.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:12 PM
5

Yea that was my point about support. I had 3 lawyers say it was unlikely-wouldn’t happen due to the length of marriage….then one say it’s a guarantee. The one who guaranteed it also seemed to think I was in a bad spot for everything. Not just support but everything. Spoke as if the dv meant little in the custody battle.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:12 PM
3

Time in marriage is what I thought was protecting me from alimony. According to other attorneys. It threw me off completely.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:56 PM
6

You got a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 04:04 AM
1

Don’t do it. It’s not going to work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:32 PM
3

Surprised your lawyers weren’t able to successfully get the court to have her pay their fees.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 11:00 PM
2

Holy shit. Did you have any idea it was like that when you weren’t around?
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 01:24 AM
2

Wow. That’s a positive. How did the judge know if she cleans up? I mean, they are pretty good at hiding this stuff once they know they need to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 10:59 PM
2

Well, if she is letting a man sleep there after just 6 days then this was already over
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 04:00 AM
2

Same thing happened but I was dumb enough to remove the order…we weren’t in such a bad spot at the time
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 12:03 AM
2

Fckn A! How serious are the judges taking your arrest?
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 10:20 PM
1

Roughly how much is he?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 11:22 PM
2

Last time I nearly filed and she knew, she got shitfaced on alcohol and Xanax(prescribed from her home country on vacation) with my daughter and drove around. She isn’t going to shock sober as she is yet to admit a problem. She fights harder than anything to prove she doesn’t have a problem. I hoped she would have that shock. But my god does she fight to prove she isn’t an alcoholic. I think it will take another arrest or losing her child in custody.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:34 PM
1

Did that lawyer have decent reviews? Seems like an awful long term business strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:55 PM
1

Crazy. I worry about that in my case. That a lawyer won’t tell her when to quit or what to settle for. But they will push and push to run up a bill as there are significant assets.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:05 PM
8

Doesn’t seem like a wise move.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:13 AM
1

Oh yea he knows. He saw it his whole life, not just with me….the Night of the arrest was awful. Seeing him, a now grown man, bawl his eyes out as his mother was taken away was tough for me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:01 AM
1

Yea. I guess because it’s normally not like that. It’s easy for me to excuse
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:18 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:02 PM
2

Thank you for the detailed response. Almost a futuristic response from me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:02 PM
1

Yea I’m terrified of that stuff. When she snuck that drink last week and I was at work. She did start making threats to call 911. That was a huge eye opener because she didn’t understand how easy it was here until I called 6 months ago.(she is a foreigner). I’ve never been violent at all.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:44 PM
1

He is 20 years old. But we are close. I’ve been around since he was 12. His dad’s not so great.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:41 PM
2

Yea that’s what I’ve gotten from this thread. I’d she may actually get her shit together if she hits rock bottom. I cannot be her caretaker for life. She will have to learn. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:40 PM
1

As awful as it all is. That’s a positive outcome, considering the circumstances. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:38 PM
3

And the judge didn’t have a problem with this? Sorry for all the questions. Just sounds so similar. One thing I’ve heard is judges won’t let it be very uneven
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:57 PM
3

Were there assets? That sounds like what I’d be expecting on this. If mine got a lawyer, I’d imagine she would screw it up or piss them off. My wife comes across as very rude sometimes. Should have seen her speak to the judge who let her out of jail. Wild.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:20 PM
3

Truth be told, she somewhat behaves if I’m around. Screaming yea, maybe hitting me. But driving no…for the most part. When we split. There will be a period where I have no control and she will be drinking and driving with our daughter. Guaranteed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 07:29 PM
1

Male
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 07:27 PM
3

That’s my fear. While I’ve just got 1 young one, I’m not 100% sure divorce is better. But I could also see things getting much worse. She is very bitter about the arrest. Did lawyers cost you a fortune? Did your ex try to retaliate?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 07:27 PM
1

She did this herself or a lawyer helped her? Seems wild
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:58 PM
1

Everything in our country works this way. If the government is involved. This is how it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:57 PM
4

Get a lawyer. Dont let her manipulate you. Your kids need a father and if your mental state goes then they won’t have one
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:55 PM
2

Rebab for what? What’s she abusing? Then what after 60 days?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 03:00 AM
5

Wild. That’s wild
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:37 AM
7

Please update us when there is one
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:23 AM
1

Mind saying what state ? Or region
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:19 AM
4

I think that is a legal separation. You live separately. Go get a lawyer and stop letting her control the narrative. That’s the worst thing you can do. You are stressing over things that aren’t an issue.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:06 PM
8

Not sure they are going to give her anything gained since legal separation 8 years ago. Financial investigators will find what value she has the right to. Would be surprised she got alimony as well since she has been on her own for 8 years. Get a good lawyer. Dont be afraid to pay 1k or more in 2-3 consultations.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 08:03 PM
0

This reads like those YouTube videos where men make fun of women for divorcing or stupid reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:50 AM
4

I guess giving them up is to protect yourself? To be able to walk away? I think you should let go but don’t formally file anything. Just be available as another person said. It may take a few years but the kids will come around and they will understand. Also, seek therapy to help work through this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 02:12 AM
5

Do they tell you these things? I’ve never gone. So I’m curious what it’s like. I’m on the edge of divorce but I’m gonna have to be the filer. I probably need help. How many sessions to start getting feedback?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:28 PM
1

She could refi it
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:58 PM
2

20k is a lot of money but in this instance. F it man. Cant cry over spilled milk. I say this knowing how hard it is. I would give myself the same advice as I would be struggling too. Use it for motivation. 20k extra wasn’t gonna change your life anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:57 PM
2

That’s awesome. Had a couple lawyers act like I couldn’t do that but it’s a much better idea to make sure the child’s other home stays in decent order.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:07 PM
2

Strategy or she is going after some sort of high profile lawyer. I had one give me their earliest consult date a month out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:31 PM
8

Man. Very similar situation I’m looking at and one of my 3 diff lawyer consults had the idea of stretching her cut of the loot out over 10 years to assure she will be able to provide a decent lifestyle for our daughter. I suspect my wife would run through 500k in 5-6 years. Likely she would run it down to 250 in 2 years and have a big panic while stretching the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 06:28 PM
5

A good lawyer will help you through this. I doubt it’s a big deal if there isn’t a long history and proof of it having a long history.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:45 PM
3

Who cares as long as we don’t find ourself broke and on the street and then end up losing custody anyway I suppose. 3k is a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 05:09 PM
1

Man I hear you. I’m having the same issue. So stressed about finances and being lonely. The unknown is unbearable.. I think I have a lock on custody with my wife’s arrest.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 05:22 PM
1

lol wow. She show any signs of regret? Or too proud? How do the kids see it now?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 05:05 PM
2

Were there financial disclosures when you filed these papers yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:31 AM
2

How do people do this with zero lawyers? Seems like there would always be at least 1….assuming there are some assets
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:50 AM
1

They let you do that if the retirements weren’t 50/50? I keep hearing from lawyers that it’s 50/50 no matter what then I read stories where parties agreeed to things sometimes based on ease or emotional value.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:24 PM
7

Typical coping mechanism. I’ve had girls do this then show back up 5 years later trying to rekindle things.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:46 AM
2

Funny, I make the same statement. “I’m halfway through life”. It brings a lot of people down but I see it as a positive awakening. That we have a great half to go and let’s live it to its fullest.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 08:21 PM
1

What’s ncp? And they made you primary just because you made so much more money? Was there a history of you playing that roll as well? Or something else she was lacking?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 05:33 PM
2

Didn’t realize this sort of behavior was so common. Similar to what I’ve dealt with. The screaming doesn’t last as long. Not as much physical abuse. I think alcohol is an absolute must stop in these cases but it’s not always involved. It’s just more likely to help get the ball rolling.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 04:38 PM
1

You can’t help her at this point. Whats most important is keeping the kids safe.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 06:33 PM
1

Seriously? I asked one lawyer and he said they tend to scrutinize if a lawyer isn’t repping. I wonder if lawyers will write up anything that is not 50/50 or close. Do they have an ethical duty to make it 50/50 because it reflects on them if found out?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 10:32 PM
2

Jesus. Are the courts always that shitty? Or do some guys just get lucky?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:38 AM
2

Yea they don’t get easier. I broke the news 2 days ago and she is off her rocker. As we speak out drinking at a sort of family restaurant/bar/kids play place type thing. Neither of us Should have let them come home after the arrest.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 02:56 AM
1

That’s how it works with women. When you finally let go of them, they feel it. And they come back around. Almost all of them do this. OP. You have to learn to let go. But also, don’t let her back. Just take comfort when that moment comes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:54 PM
1

And to add…kids will grow out of this. One day they will understand but it will happen easier if you improve yourself and become your best self.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:46 PM
1

She is probably dreaming if she wants you to have supervised visitation while also leaving the kids with you at her convenience. Get a good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:43 PM
1

So just a mediator, your wife, and you? And you got her to agree to less than 50%?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 12:37 PM
1

I’m in a very similar spot and about to exit. Gonna cost me a fortune. Get out of this relationship. You must show your daughter this is not acceptable.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 03:15 AM
2

Did your lawyer seem ok writing this up knowing it was not 50/50? I’ve done some consultations and they seemed hell bent on 50/50. But I wonder if they just were not over selling or going off of worse case….since she just got a DV
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 02:55 AM
2

How did you get that legally agreed to? You got a lawyer to draft that up knowing it was legally unfair to her and a judge signed off? Asking because I’m in the same spot
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 02:49 AM
1

In many states at 6 years there will be no alimony
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 06:45 PM
1

Thank you. That’s good information. I did speak with another lawyer who made more sense. But he also didn’t want to go the fault route. Seemed odd. He said alimony wouldn’t be an issue here at the 8 year length of marriage. He had some good ideas but not doing an at fault marriage seemed off, so then it requires the 1 year separation here and I’m not sure my wife would willingly leave. When I push the wife on this issue or she feels she is losing me she does offer to do anything and everything. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 08:30 PM
1

I spoke with another lawyer today and he said something similar. Not low alimony but said I wouldn’t HAVE to pay any(due to length of marriage and arrest for DV) but we could give a small lump sum then the rest in a larger support payment into my daughter graduates. People say it’s not my issue what she does with a large lump sum but if she goes broke in 5 years then suddenly it is my daughter’s issue which means it’s my issue. And she absolutely would go through 400-500k in 5-6 years. Both lawy…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:32 PM
1

What is legal aid?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 05:05 PM
1

Maybe yes. Or maybe I put my daughter on a pedestal. Maybe a little of both. Honestly, the financial side eats as much almost as much. It’s a fear I’ve always had.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 05:05 PM
1

Thank you. The kids are what have me concerned after the divorce. My kids love her. But i understand and agree. “Give yourself grace”. About made me tear up. Longer apart of the story is I met her abroad, in the 3rd world. She had a much tougher life than I and I’ve helped her so much along the way but these are habits she was raised with. I guess I’ve always felt like I was taking care of her, and I was. In the last year I’ve realized she is almost like my child. I read no more Mr nice guy in 2…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 03:36 PM
1

The idea of running my child’s mother into the ground is horrifying. My daughter loves her to death. The truth is, for the sake of my daughter, I will have to take on some bs.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 06:05 PM
1

That’s my biggest issue. It’s all such an unknown.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 02:57 PM
1

I went to probably the most reputable around and spoke to the partner. It seemed to me that it just works this way. You have to run them down to “win” certain things, like custody. Since there is a recent DV2 on her record and an admitted alcohol issue I don’t think I’ll end up paying alimony. Probably not CS either as I’d likely get my daughter. But the martial assets is a blow. What mostly a blow is I don’t think she would manage it well and she is the mother of my child. I also have a very go…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 02:42 PM
1

Any idea what expected outcome is in regards of alimony and assets? Also, how were things before this incident?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:19 PM
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