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MaximumIll7812 Archive

View 14 posts and 169 comments by MaximumIll7812 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Nut up and move on, man. Delete social media, its nothing but a distraction.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 03:12 PM
7

I have been divorced for 4 months after a 19 year relationship/marriage. If she wasnt the mother of my kids, I would've communicated exactly zero times with her. I also wish her no ill will, but just dont like her as a person. I cant wait until my kids are adults and I dont have to communicate more than the few times per month I do currently. I would imagine you, like me, are fucking LOVING life post divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 06:03 PM
6

I sincerely hope you read through these comments and take them to heart. Let her go, man. Its over even if she wants to reconcile at some point. She tossed you aside. Dont remain friendly, shes now just a woman who probably cheated, trying to keep you as an option. This is all harsh to hear, but its reality and you need to hear it. Gym, diet, no drinking, journal, and go get laid. THAT is how you get over the hump. No wallowing in self pity. Fuck her, you're now living for yourself and your kids…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 05:58 PM
1

WHAT?? Does she get full custody or what? I'm in ND, make 150k/year and my ex makes 60, I only pay 1500/month for 2 kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:20 AM
2

I did nothing. First mother's day post divorce from a narcissistic bitch. I just got a text from her complaining I said nothing 😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:52 AM
3

Yeah, I was fortunate enough to be a Journaling type of person, so I can look back and instantly remember the misery. The good times were far outweighed by the bad, unfortunately. But my kids have noticed dramatic changes in my mood and energy level these past 4 months. The peace and quiet and overall calmness of the house now is a gift.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:32 PM
7

I also left, I regret nothing and have never been happier. Its INSANE how many divorced people i talk to that tell me "its all going to hit you at some point and you'll start to really feel it"...it hit me like 4 years before I actually got divorced, this new peaceful life is absolutely amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:29 PM
9

Lol, youre so fucking out of touch it's comical. In the 50s? OK. But that was the dynamic, men worked, women made a home. Today? Uh...no. Men are typically more active in most of these things you just listed than women. Because women have been trained "we did all this for x amount of years, its the man's job now". Even though most women under 40 havent had this experience at all. You sound like a bitter, out of touch, old Hag that was hurt by a shitty guy and have never gotten over it. Its 2026,…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 10:39 PM
12

Lol. Gotta love the out of touch reddit women. It literally ONLY benefits women 95% of the time 😂 Name one fucking benefit in the man's favor, please.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 06:07 PM
1

Nah, dont worry about it. It happened 4 years ago and ive completely moved on and dont let it bother me anymore. It actually made me better myself, I decided to take my life into my own hands. It was a sort of fork in the road moment and it chose the right path.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:26 PM
3

Yeah, she did. Not the load I took on, but I can't lie, she did more than some I've seen here. She did have an affair, though...After finding that out, everything else went out the window.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 04:49 PM
6

Its an odd feeling, isnt it? Complete autonomy. I was with my ex wife since I was 17, that was 19 years ago and while we were a team and worked well together for a long time, we're both finding out just how much we did for eachother. Its freeing and terrifying at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:52 PM
13

Amicable just means you both know its over and are willing to be a team one last time. It doesn't mean you love that person still.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:13 AM
1

Nah, she wants kids and turns 30 in a few months. She's just done with that phase and is looking for someone to give that to her, I'm not that, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:10 AM
1

Its minor but GODDAMN have i lost alot of hair and my beard is turning white
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 10:31 PM
4

The fog is gone, I'm doing good today! I was with my ex 19 years, since high school, moved in with her the day I graduated up until 45 days ago. Lived on my own exactly zero days of my life...Just a day and a half removed from ending this, I'm remembering "oh yeah, im fucking single and do what I want when I want, this is what i wanted for SO LONG" Great experience, no regrets, on to single life for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 03:33 PM
4

I didnt realize how much of my tiredness came from zero excitement in life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 12:42 AM
6

I actually said in another reply this experience has totally made me forget about my ex. I was in my head about her hooking up with men and that totally vanished overnight. Tough day today, but maybe it was for the best in the long run, idk.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:51 PM
3

Appreciate it! Good luck out there!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:48 PM
3

First timer here 😂 The work part maybe made it even more intense, but yes, I lost alot of sleep over it. 10 times in 14 days felt like not enough to both of us with this, to be honest. But yes, I know that it was. There were 4 work nights in there where we stayed out/up until 2AM, 2AM, 3AM, and 5AM. I've NEVER done anything like it and I just couldn't say no. She was like a drug, man.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:38 PM
3

It was fun! But I'm paying for it with how I feel today for sure. Neither of us were ready to move on, but it was clear we werent making it long term and at 29, her biological clock is ticking and she wants kids, I already have two and dont want more. Mutual but still hard to walk away from.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:29 PM
2

I wish I was somewhere between you and my attachment style, either position is tough it sounds like.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:25 PM
6

Most fun ive had in a decade, honestly....but i think I got what I needed and am ready to be completely alone for awhile after 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:24 PM
2

This was more of wanting to experience someone new after 20 years
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:22 PM
10

I got way too emotionally attached, honestly. Unhealthy attachment. But she was the same, she texted/called/made plans with me constantly. I fucking loved it. Even though it sucks today, I feel it helped me completely get over my ex wife. Like, i was in my head about her hooking up with other dudes, but those thoughts are out the window completely. I couldn't care less after this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 07:49 PM
10

It was the best I've felt in a decade. Made me feel like I was 25 again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 07:43 PM
1

Gym and banging as many women as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:46 AM
4

Dont listen to "everything is black and white", bitter reddit idiots like this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 08:36 PM
4

This is INSANE. Dude...I was with my soon to be ex wife 19 years, my divorce is not yet finalized, I told myself I'm not looking for anything serious, met a girl 5 days ago on an app(she only lives an hour away though), we hit it off IMMEDIATELY, same music, same career field, same humor...I've thought to myself we're the same person multiple times, both came out of long relationships that ended similarly... Seriously, I've never read my almost word for word experience from another user before. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 08:34 PM
1

I'm going to be totally honest here. When things ended, she asked me about hooking up every now and again and I said no, but now? I'm probably going to. I dont know what changed, but I'm more attracted to her than ever the last week or so. Our sex life was REALLY good until recently, so why not if we both know no strings attached? Just sex.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 08:54 PM
2

Teach me your ways man
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 05:07 PM
5

Get an escort and bang in every room
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:04 PM
3

I took pretty detailed journal posts, they've helped but reading them doesn't bring the actual "feeling" back, you know? Its like my brain knows all of the data, but the way it made me feel isnt coming back. I hope that made sense, it does in my head 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:03 PM
3

Damn, that sucks man. At least misery loves company, right?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:01 PM
2

Those feelings go away?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:54 PM
5

Yeah. Didn't help, it was very obvious she was like 70% of the problem and she didnt like the therapist not just pinning everything on me. We only had like 5 sessions, things got worse after each one.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:31 PM
2

I have chronic neck pain and think it would be good, I just cant even touch my toes at the moment 😂
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:56 PM
2

I do 3 of those, I want a social hobby.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:15 PM
1

Damn dude...idk then. Youre loved by someone out there. Never forget it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:27 PM
1

I mean more along the lines of medication.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:15 PM
1

You've gotta talk with a professional man. You have depression and there is no shame in admitting you need some medical help. Dont give up on yourself, you're the only one who cant afford to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:09 PM
2

I wouldn't say unhappy at all. Just content, I guess? But now i have 2 weeks a month without them, that was my point. I dont know how to fill the time that used to go to my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:07 PM
2

What is toastmasters? Ive never heard of it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:10 PM
1

Alright. F it...I'm trying it. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:30 PM
1

I was told by chat gpt to not even try yoga yet 😂 I am incredibly inflexible and have to work my way up, not sure if GPT is wrong or not
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:28 PM
3

I know exactly what you mean. I have been in therapy for a year or so and I very recently learned that it wasn't working....because "I" wasn't working. It was essentially just an expensive bitch session once every two weeks, then I'd leave and do nothing else to help myself. It's like a lightbulb coming on when you realize that "you" are the only one that can fix "you". Others can try and help, but ultimately its on me to help me. I realized this embarrassingly late in life at 35, but my life ha…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:26 PM
3

😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:19 PM
1

I'd love trivia night, but I dont have a team
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:17 PM
1

I do have a tiny side business but its summer only, and I already cuts into my golf time 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:17 PM
1

There are salsa classes weekly here, actually. What is the male to female ratio? Like, I want to meet new peolle, but new women would be better 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:16 PM
5

I golf in the summer, hang out with my kids, and fix stuff around the house. I never really felt the need to meet new people and I'm introverted so I just didnt. Now I'm alone half the time and need something...I know I dug myself a big hole by not socializing before and regret it, but I am where I am and am starting from scratch. ...and its intimidating TF out of me 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:06 PM
-1

Idk. Ive tried YouTube videos and tutorials on how to "move" just like stationary dancing(if that makes sense? I mean when you're at a wedding reception or something and dont want to just stand still like a weirdo) and I just CANT figure out how to move my body..
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:03 PM
1

Im sure there are leagues in my area, but i dont know anyone to join up with, unfortunately. I dont know if they have like "extras" teams that are just filled with strangers or something
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:01 PM
2

Nah man, you aren't alone. If anything, you have commonality with many divorced men and that links us. We need to pick eachother up. You deserve to be happy. You fucking deserve it. So go find it!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:59 PM
3

Thanks, man and congrats to you! This is what i was kind of hoping to hear, honestly. That it gets better. It gets easier I'm assuming these ups and downs will smooth out over time and the feelings wont be as intense. I still have some lingering emotions over it, but they are fading after about 36 hours. It was a brutal day yesterday but hopefully thats just part of healing and it was needed, idk. Good luck to you, sounds like youve got a great thing going!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:57 PM
1

I would love to do this, but I have ZERO rhythm...like, absolutely none.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:11 PM
5

Thanks man. I thought i was different. Ive seen all the "go no contact" posts and comments from other users for months now and just kind of rolled my eyes. I thought i was above that, that I'd truly moved on because I dont love her anymore, but ive learned that past love can still cause issues with a person's mind. We have two kids, ill have to see her every now and again, but I'm going to try my best to limit it, because today truly sucked. I haven't really felt this way in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:18 AM
4

Relax man. Give people some grace. I'm newer to this, I made a mistake by picking up and I now know that. I really, truly dont love her, I am the one that ended things, but we've been friendly to one another so far. I will be going to much more of a "kids only" way of communicating from here on out for my own sake, because you're correct. I do have alot of inner work to do. Ive been doing it and seeing pretty decent results, this was just a setback I wanted to vent about.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:13 AM
3

Appreciate the input! So, what makes this even more confusing is that I was the one that ended things and she was strongly opposed. I didnt end things on a whim, it was years of trying and not being able to make it work. I thought those years of disappointment and built up resentment would've made this type of situation really easy to deal with, but I guess I was wrong. We were together for 19 years, she was my only real girlfriend ever, we met when I just turned 17, so I'm assuming that is play…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:07 AM
7

I know. Im sure you knew at the time, too. Its still just weird and uncomfortable and feels....bad. I've told myself over and over that it really doesn't matter, we're no longer together and we'll both meet others, I just never thought these emotions would bubble up, you know? I was so ready to be done that I thought I just wouldn't care.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:36 AM
1

We have two kids, I'd love to be able to do that, but I dont think its going to be an option for awhile...maybe ever.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:28 AM
1

I havent seen the inside of any, to be fair, but just researching the topic, reading others' stories, and being the actual topic in one leads me to believe its not rare. Its pretty obvious cyber bullying and borders on slander in some cases.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 08:49 PM
2

I was put on there just yesterday. Maybe what youve said is true for your specific area's group, but no, not across the board. I've gotten some screenshots of the comments, there are a couple from my EX wife's friends saying I'm married, then a bunch of women piling on, nitpicking, making fun of me. Its an extremely humiliating experience and some of the men on there dont deserve it. At all. I am a decent person, and am on blast for absolutely nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 07:59 PM
1

No shit? So, tell me specifically, what the point of therapy is then if the true work comes outside of therapy on your own. Pretty much exactly what I'm saying.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:06 PM
0

In my experience, I disagree. Therapy did nothing for me, it wasn't until I did the work that I got better. People seem to think therapy is something magic fix all, and all I got out of it was like 5 grand worth of bills.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:01 AM
2

I dont think you know what a symptom is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 05:56 PM
4

OP, dont listen to this bullshit. Cheating is a symptom? Give me a break. The symptoms are her lying THOUSANDS of times to get away with it, the symptoms lead to the end goal, which is total betrayal and dismissal of you entirely. OP, do you have a form of ADD? I do, my wife had an affair and I tend to "forget" sometimes too, which irritates me. I journaled all my thoughts in the aftermath and revisit it from time to time as a good reminder of what she did to me. I think my ADD keeps me from rem…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 04:01 PM
5

Illegal business? There's your answer dude...
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:18 AM
2

By the writings in her notebook, she seems to think love is a big fairytale and you never go through ups and downs. She'll get "bored" with her next partner too, dont take it personal. This might sound harsh, but its a reality youre going to have to face; she made her choice, everything you do from now on is about you and you only. Do what is best for yourself and dont spiral into the ground, man. We're all rooting for you here, best of luck and go be the best fucking man you can be. Use this as…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 02:15 PM
16

You'll NEVER see her the same again. If she continues the travel, you'll be wondering what shes doing every second of every trip. Just leave, man. I wish I would've have 4 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 08:50 PM
1

Lol. Whatever helps you think you "won" this exchange, man.. Withholding details a fucking child doesn't need to know and wont help them isnt lying, big guy. No matter what the actual details are 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:49 PM
2

"I feel the need to disclose every detail in life to my 12 year old" 🥴 Do you tell your kids about mommy not having sex with you enough, too? That might be part of the reason... Should mom tell the kids that dad didnt eat her out enough? These are all "the truth", right?? Its pretty fucking obvious some details just dont need to be shared, genius.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:36 PM
1

That was my thought, too. Like...its weird having basically a legal or logistics discussion in the midst of things, right? It just feels like that would ruin the moment, BUT...what if I misread the moment?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:17 AM
14

I could feel this in my soul. I REFUSE to argue in public. Its so trashy and embarrassing. Not to her though. Loudmouth, angry all the time, combative, and always looking for reasons to show her unhappiness to anyone that can and wants to hear and see.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 08:56 PM
3

Staying for a child is almost never the right answer. Just by coming here and typing this out, you already know what the right thing to do is and no internet stranger's opinion is going to sway you....go with your gut. Its an unenviable situation, dont turn it into a living nightmare for 5 years, then deal with it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:59 PM
1

Im sorry, but no matter how many bitter dudes down vote this, it and think differently it doesn't change the fact that this was not needed to be known at a young age and it benefits exactly one person only, you. Be honest, you weren't doing the right thing by telling her the truth, you wanted your daughter to resent her mother. I'm sure you got that. Congrats
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 02:10 PM
1

Appreciate it, but there is no fking way I'm doing anything with a 21 year old, man 😂 Seems like anyone in their 20s will be TOUGH to get, honestly. Im kind of a corny older guy. Lotta dad jokes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:49 AM
2

Going to be a mine field out there i think 😬 Just trying to step on as few as I can. Good luck, man
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 12:22 AM
1

How has dating gone? You're younger than i am so im assuming the pool of women willing to talk to a 29 year old is much bigger than a 36 year old. I want to experience what I missed in my early 20s, but it sounds kind of weird saying that as an older guy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 08:12 PM
-4

Cool. Now on top of this huge change, your daughter has to deal with even more trauma by trying to come to terms that her mother isnt who she believed, thats great for her and definitely not just selfish of you...
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:26 PM
-2

Because its already a big change for them. Why make them hate their own mother? Do you think this divorce just fell out of the fucking sky? My STBX wife is the same way as you, its selfish and fucking childish.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:24 PM
2

M&t mortgage is where I log in to. Not sure if theyre owned by a larger equity group or not.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:48 AM
1

There's a term for it but I cant recall right now. They'll know what you mean. I think its rare they let you do it, but its possible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:17 AM
4

Ask your lender if they would be willing to drop her from the mortgage without refinancing. Mine is going to let us. We have a 2.375% rate.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:07 AM
2

This was 4 days ago when I posted this. She already has lol.... Then we had the best sex of our lives last night, but it was mutually decided beforehand this was nothing but physical for us. We've always had a great sex life, so why not?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:22 PM
9

The harsh truth is she is almost surely entitled to a percentage of it. Not saying its right or wrong, just what the courts will say.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:17 PM
1

Nice, I'll give it a go if I have to. I've been trying to just sit back and ask her to "explain what you mean by that with some examples" and the look on her face when she racks her brain for reasons why I'm "manipulative" or "a piece of shit" is comical. The realization that she cant provide proof to really any of her claims is a fun thing to watch. This has made me also realize that I think she actually believes what she says, which is kind of concerning to me when it comes to how she talks ab…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:13 PM
1

What is grey rocking?
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:09 PM
1

I'm the same way. I was taught as a man to be stoic and never show your true feelings. Its a tough balance because I think it is true, men should be the rock in the family that the kids can look up to in times of crisis, but it also takes a toll suffering in silence.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:28 PM
1

This is good advice, thank you. Its going to be hard to actually do, but I'll try. I am finally being more vocal and not letting her steamroll me on everything just to "keep the peace" so it has felt good pushing back on some of the bullshit she spews, BUT I do understand doing this will just make this worse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:25 PM
2

Hang in there man. You'll get through it and your life will improve, these are hard times but hard times create hard men. You'll be unbreakable after this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:22 PM
2

I truly think at least part of my social anxiety and stress when talking to strangers stems from this. My subconscious has been conditioned think talking just leads to pain anyway so its easier to just be quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:08 PM
4

Here is the issue Ive faced just for some clarity on the situation, which, admittedly, I probably botched. So, this headline was poorly written. I still am 100% positive I want to get divorced BUT I thought she was also fully ready and had been thinking the same for a long time now. We have had very major issues for a few years now and those issues have led to divorce talks in the past and the truth coming out that neither of us love each other anymore. We are in more of a "i love you as the par…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:51 PM
2

I agree some do jump the gun, but we've had many many issues for a few years now and have been close to divorcing a couple of times. I thought I was finally ready, and I am, but I just thought she was too. I'm more thrown off by her reaction than rethinking things and its making me feel extreme guilt for being the one to finally end things.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:33 PM
5

I appreciate the response and I do care about her. We grew into adulthood with eachother and have been living with eachother over half of our lives. She's the mother of my kids. I dont want to see her miserable but I also dont want to be married to her anymore, either. I dont even know what I'm looking for from this post, just very confusing emotions for me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 06:17 AM
2

Proud of you. Dont stand for that shit, youre not a child.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 01:22 AM
2

A. That's a WEIRD thing to limit interactions to 6PM B. Its not exactly the smallest thing to expect someone to be ok with living with their in laws. Is this a deal breaker for either of you is the question. Is there a common ground here?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:01 PM
5

Bro, with all due respect, I decided FOR you that you dont love her anymore. It sucks, but youve gotta gtfo of there. Thank you for your service, man. You deserve so much better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:08 PM
2

We started dating in high school, 16 and 17, been together almost 20 years(in late January)..we haven't been having much sex, probably 3 times the last 6 months, because i just dont want to anymore. Her libedo has increase significantly over the last few years, I think thats normal for women in their mid-late 30s, though
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:47 AM
2

Is that more of a specialized dr? Ive gone very Grey in my beard and lost alot of hair in the last few years, too. Maybe thats also an indicator idk?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:08 AM
2

Appreciate it, and to answer your curiosity, I have a very dark sense of humor 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:07 AM
2

I tried wellbutrin for sure and I think(?) Paxil about 3 years ago. Gave me some unwanted side effects that are still lingering to this day. Appreciate the advice, though!
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:05 AM
18

Everything in our society is setup to blame men and feel sorry for women. "You are the bad guy, she was smarter and knew it was over long ago and youre just an oblivious idiot"
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:34 AM
1

Interesting. Did you tell it the state you live in, marriage length, custody type, yearly income, insurance payments(if you're taking on the kids health insurance costs)? Maybe ask it exactly what it needs for an estimate.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 12:39 AM
1

Its not fair to you, either my guy. Its no fun being a roommate with your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:00 PM
1

I think it would be better, yes. I "asked" for a divorce and she talked me out of it like a year ago, I regret it every day. I never disliked her, until the last 6 months have made me more bitter every day.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 10:01 PM
1

Sounds done already, man. The question is, do you want to rip off the bandaid now while you two are still indifferent or do it in 3 years when you both inevitably hate eachother?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 09:19 PM
1

Use chat gpt, it helped me tremendously. The numbers it gave me lined up pretty much perfectly with what the lawyer told me to expect.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 07:55 AM
1

Thanks, man. Any plans for a divorce or just staying separated for awhile?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 06:32 PM
1

It went from desperately trying to give cpr to a choking person(the marriage), to giving a cold corpse crp, to now that corpse turning into a zombie and eating me alive 😅
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:39 PM
2

Ive suffered in silence for a long time, man. It sucks. Posting things on here and reading through comments helps me alot because nobody i know in real life has a similar experience. Misery does indeed love company. I think its important to stay grounded. "Be where your feet are" as they say. Live in the moment and try your best to not think about the future every second of the day. I realize the irony of this comment on this specific post, btw...sometimes i should take my own advice and actuall…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:35 PM
2

Ive been gutting it out for a couple years now. These last few days are brutal
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:04 PM
9

For sure. No regrets though. I can live with the fact I did everything in my power to not break my family apart.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 05:19 AM
3

I am past "it", but the resentment and disgust remain. Like, I can openly talk and think about it without feeling that gut punch and sadness, but I just look at her differently. I feel almost nothing for her and honestly wouldn't care if she told me she did it again recently. I’ve totally blocked her from my mental space. She's the mother of my kids so I'l lalways wish her the best, but ive completely let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 05:07 AM
3

Likewise!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 05:03 AM
3

Hang in there. We'll get there, man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 04:53 AM
3

Sorry, brother. Keep it together just a bit longer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 04:52 AM
7

She had an affair a few years back and has changed DRAMATICALLY since then. I tried to make it work, it hasn't at all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 04:51 AM
2

Nah, you're not being cruel. I've put in my time going over every dirty detail and trust me, I know. I was able to try and put it behind me for the slim chance it worked after that and it just hasn't, that poor choice is on me and I regret it, but I can also tell myself I did EVERYTHING in could to not tear my family apart. She did the opposite and I can live with wasting a few years of my life to find out for sure, for my kids' sake. I'm not religious and i really dont care what my parents woul…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 04:03 AM
1

Its no way to live a life
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 07:58 PM
6

"Not loving someone and actually not even liking them anymore is not a reason to divorce" the fuck are you talking about?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 07:57 PM
1

God damn, dude. My wife sounds EXACTLY like your ex. I dont know how this will go, but I'll tell you one thing, I'm so excited to not have to cater to her emotions anymore for peace.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:30 PM
2

Unfortunately thats a theme I'm seeing. It would be nice if she was just a fucking adult about everything and we could save 20 grand, but that is starting to sound like a longshot...
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:28 PM
1

I met with a lawyer about a year ago, the affair no longer matters after this long, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:25 PM
6

Yeah. Pretty much every reason I would say. We have completely different personalities, spending habits, retirement plans, and I no longer love her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:24 PM
1

Yeah, but it was nearly 4 years ago
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 07:00 AM
6

I have, although it was nearly a year ago. I have plans for everything written out; division of assets, custody, child support, home refinance plan, vehicle debt plans...everything. My hope is to present this and hope she accepts..but time will tell. I dont think she will want this to get messy and contested. She knows some of the things I have on her would bite her if we went into a contested divorce. I "think" I'm fairly safe here. Famous last words, maybe.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 06:56 AM
2

Lol. Either dont respond or say something like "your trolling is worse than your bj skills, I'm sure hes disappointed" with a laughing emoji or something
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:57 PM
3

It sounds like shes either A. A total psycho and ugly on the inside. OR B. Still bitter and isnt over you. Either way, you win, man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:51 PM
2

2 kids. 17 and 11. I "think" we're on the same page in focusing on THEM, not us, but who knows
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 08:02 PM
3

That moment is all I can think about lately.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 07:07 PM
1

Also, just completely based off of her personality lately, I dont think shes going to want to put in any effort into this. I "think" anything I put in front of her to sign that seems fair, she will. Couple of reasons I think this She is just flat out lazy and doesn't really deal with real adult life. I handle everything from finances, to taxes, to buying groceries and cooking, to planning vacations, booking hotels...idk..just everything. She has a close friend who is going through a NASTY custod…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:47 PM
5

This is incredibly close to my story, other than my wife does work. BUT...in her eyes, because she works a dead end job with no real chance at ever moving up or making more money, she thinks she gets to spend in an unlimited fashion. I totally agree on the therapy being part of the problem. She has gone to the same person for a long time and from what I can gather, this therapist FILLS her head with bs excuses that she can use as a means to avoid responsibility. "I'm sorry I drank way too much a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:34 PM
1

We do have 2 kids and she works but I make 3x what she does, didnt used to be that way, but I've put actual effort into my career while she has actually downgraded to a receptionist job.. When I talked to a lawyer awhile back, she told me I wouldn't have to worry about alimony, just child support, didnt even really hesitate to say it. I live in ND, I'm assuming its state by state whether alimony is common or not.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:16 PM
4

You know what? Those are questions that haven't even crossed my mind.. I always just brushed off the "dont rush into anything" advice as more of a no brainer and dont think twice about it, but this will be something I will actually need to think deeply about, huh? I need to actually sit down, think this through, set some boundaries, deal breakers, needs, and make a plan. Thank you for these questions, they actually helped me see a potential blindspot.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:23 AM
1

It really is a shock. It felt very similar to a close family member dying for me for a long time. Wish you the best!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:43 AM
3

I. Cant. Wait. To be able to just ignore her and not have to deal with her little outbursts.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:41 AM
1

Ok, thanks! Quick question if you don't mind free advice 🙂. I would "like" to go through a mediator if possible. The majority of our net worth is in home equity, retirement, and paid off vehicles that are close to new. Id like to not have to sell the house, either vehicle, or cash out any retirement. We have around 35-40k in the bank and I'd much rather divide up as much actual cash as possible so we can both start fresh So, with a low amount of cash in bank right now, if we agree to everything(…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:27 AM
3

Does it matter who files? I asked her to divorce already and she talked me out of it, that was 8-10 months ago.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:07 AM
1

Yeah. I'm not sure if ever actually loved her. She got pregnant while I was still in high school and we just decided to make it work. It may have all been a lie from the start, im not sure.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:05 AM
3

She's 36, been changing since around 30/31, I think thats too early right?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:16 AM
3

Its not the only reason, not close..thats why I said I'm not going to get into detail
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:55 AM
2

I did talk with one around 8 months ago, and am scheduled for another meeting in a few weeks. Mind if I ask why you say talk to multiple? Assuming just because they may all have different ideas?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:26 AM
2

Yeah, I think it probably started when my daughter started school. That's the age they start to get more independent pretty rapidly. We were very young parents, 18 and 19, so we kind of put our lives on hold to raise the kids, you know?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:24 AM
3

We've been together 19, its hard to walk away if you have a glimmer of hope, but I've realized the hope is completely gone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:15 AM
2

Love to hear it, congrats to you 👏
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:11 AM
2

Lolol
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:12 AM
2

It was gradual, I assume because she was in "mom mode" for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:11 AM
2

🤘
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 11:10 PM
3

I have alot of family in town, I love being left alone, outside of my kids and I hanging out, and there hasn't been a second of my life for a couple years where I've wished she was around when she was gone. Maybe that will change, but I just dont really anticipate that, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 11:08 PM
6

Youre right, I "asked" last time and she talked me out of it. This time, I'm telling her its over no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 11:04 PM
5

I am absolutely sure my life will improve without her. Im sitting here just waiting to hear the garage door open and hoping it never actually does.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 11:03 PM
6

She's probably not unbearable to alot of people, but to me and my personality type she just is. She's very loud, pretty narcissistic, LOVES to argue, very emotional, we dont have really a single overlapping interest except for some music and sports. She's probably right for someone, just not me, you know?
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 10:24 PM
3

I do have a house and 2 kids. That's the only thing I'm not looking forward to is seeing them half as much and having to tell them their lives are about to change dramatically. But...I figure 50% the best of me HAS to be better than 100% of me while miserable, right?
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 10:11 PM
1

Good luck man!
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 10:06 PM
5

Man....I am SO excited to be on my own. You know, the most optimistic I've been in years was leading up to asking for a divorce the first time. The excitement i felt to plan my own life out exactly how I wanted was so fun. But then she talked me out of it and it was all downhill from there. Like...a spiral downward like I had this grand vision and it collapsed in the span of like 48 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 10:04 PM
3

Ill be very honest here. I dont think i will miss her, like... at all. That sounds pretty bad, but I just have zero feelings for her anymore. That's not to say I hate her...shes the mother of my kids and someone ive spent almost 20 years with, but i just dont like her personality anymore. We've both changed so much that we've just grown into two WAY different people. Loud and obnoxious vs. calm and quiet. I could be wrong and am just too "in it" right now too, idk.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 08:01 PM
9

You hit the nail on the head when you talked about other people's advice. Take this for what its worth coming from a guy who's not even divorced quite yet, but you really should try and completely move on, for your own sake. Im sure ill have a very hard time as well when things are finalized, but my plan is to cut contact except when it comes to kids. I will not be entering her place, she will not be entering mine. I want to do this for MY own sake, because I have made the decision to divorce an…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 07:31 PM
13

Yes, its wrong to divorce while she is pregnant. You should have divorced her immediately when you found out. As someone who has tried for over 3 years to "make it work"...it never will. Do. Not. Sign. The. Birth. Certificate. Under any circumstance.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:18 AM
2

Either way...sorry, but hes failed at being an adult and father. That's not to say he cant do better, but lets not sugar coat the absolute failure hes been.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:40 AM
6

Oh wow...just read the edit, nvm 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:18 PM
6

Out of pure curiosity, why did you tell her you're dating someone? Do you have kids or something? If not, who cares? Move on dude...fuck her and how she feels about anything you do.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:17 PM
3

Doing it somewhat right? LOL What? The guy had "a little outburst"(sure..), lost his job, spent a year abusing substances, then used a joint account to pay his way... There are extremes on both sides, men getting fucked, and "men" acting like OP. He has a kid, he needs to grow up and take responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 02:25 PM
5

Some people have been checked out of marriages for years, cant judge them, their process started a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 09:16 PM
1

Why are some people so bad with money? That is the biggest issue in my dying marriage, too. Its an addiction that ill never understand.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 07:09 PM
4

I'm taking her side on this, to be honest. You sound like you've skated personal responsibilities for long enough. My advice would be to grow up and become a man... This is why all men get a bad name in a divorce. Woof.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:00 PM
1

Yeah, two kids. 17 and 11
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:11 AM
1

Do you ever regret leaving? My wife also had an affair a little over 3 years ago. I forgave her for it. That was the start of the end for me, I think. I had about a year of desperation, trying to make sure I was enough for her as to not break up my family and things were going really well for us. But that wasn't love. It was me trying to preserve my family. The last 2 years have been a slow, painful process of me deciding its not going to work, because I can forgive, but never forget. I hold no …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:31 PM
2

Appreciate the response! Im having a tough time even figuring what "what I like to do"...my two kids are 17 and 11 and no longer require constant attention, although we still spend alot of time together. I went from 18 and in high-school to 18 and a father within a few months, so my life has essentially been holding on for dear life and raising kids the best i could. Now that they are older, ive realized how little time ive given to just me. Its frightening and exciting at the same time
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:23 PM
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