How do you find shit to do?

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2026-02-09T03:58:17+00:00

Here's some things you can do:

Go through your closet, drawer by drawer and toss out old ratty T-shirts, socks with holes, etc. Think about what you need to have plus a couple of spares and replace. Instead of Amazon, maybe go to an outlet or other store and make chit chat with employees.

You can do the same in the garage or linen closet or toolbox: "This silicone adhesive is frozen solid and there's only a tad bit left, not worth the bother of unclogging" "I haven't used a single nail or screw in this coffee can in years"

Another place: your paperwork/documents. Do you really need a bank statement from years ago? Did you make extra copies of essential documents and have them digitalized? Do you have a couple of USBs with copies of passport, DL, property deeds, etc.? Are they secured in a lockbox or perhaps a copy kept outside the house in case of disaster?

I mention these because these are dual purpose activites: Big sense of accomplishment, big sense of creating order.

Join a discord about your favorite movies, shows, books, hobbies, etc. Join or Start a Saturday Night "Chat" zoom on them

See if there's a group for hiking, camping, wood work, tool sharing, etc.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-08T15:25:45+00:00

Hard for me right now as we are dumped on with snow. But I have weights and watch movies, play games, talk to friends/family.

H3110_T43R3 · 2026-02-05T18:26:34+00:00

I started a new hobby and dove more into one I was doing before. I had a video server before so I added an antenna, a four tuner card and built a DVR to record first.

Then I picked up 3D printing and print practical things to organize the house the way I want things. Started with silverware drawers, kitchen org, then to the garage and my M18 tools and yard stuff. I’m still finding things to print for small home projects more.

Magma86 · 2026-02-03T17:18:17+00:00

Depending on where you are:

1) Volunteer-A couple of hours a week mean a lot. Meals-on-wheels, Habitat for Humanity, whatever 2) Sports leagues- There’s always something going on, bowling, volleyball, basketball. Great places to meet folks and have fun 3) Farmers Markets- Most have them on Saturday mornings 4) Church-if so inclined. Many have Adult groups

Hour_Dust_1766 · 2026-02-03T11:32:16+00:00

I enjoyed gaming and the online social crew in addition to gym life. Also sporadic dates and one night stands mixed in.

BASH811 · 2026-02-03T04:56:01+00:00

I know you said you want socialization. And I absolutely get that.

But I found my most contentment when I realized I could have fun on my own. If I see a concert I want to go to, and can’t find someone to go with, I still go by myself. And I still have a blast.

Bowling, cooking, learning guitar. All hobbies I’ve learned and enjoyed on my own, but can also enjoy with other people at times.

Koi_Fish_Mystic · 2026-02-03T04:04:13+00:00

Have you tried Meet Up for things you’re interested in? Or going to a sports bar when you have solo time?

For me, I find reading to be both a great escape it also good for my mental health.

Scared_Quantity_8187 · 2026-02-03T01:33:55+00:00

Meetups

AccidentEither7463 · 2026-02-02T23:21:29+00:00

I’m going to suggest volunteer work. Even if it’s once a month getting outside of yourself and seeing that there are people worse soft than you, and everyone struggles. No one ever felt worse after helping other people.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-02-02T23:15:58+00:00

Part of being alone is getting bored.. divorce really sucks anyways but you can maybe try new things .. I have tried fishing when I was going insane and lo behold I loved it afterwards

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2026-02-02T22:26:55+00:00

Work, gym, side hustle, meal prep, dog. Can't imagine you'd have any free time after that.

KingJon85 · 2026-02-02T19:08:23+00:00

Learn an instrument. I play guitar and I have been learning so much more in my spare time.

I also went to a climbing gym for the first time this weekend. It was so much fun! It may become something I do every weekend.

I also like to cook. On my days off I'll fire up the smoker and cook some good shit (even in winter).

Play some video games.

Go for long drives.

I like to hunt for cool antiques. I hit estate sales and such. I have found some treasures that I have been able to flip and make real good money. I also keep some valuable items just to enjoy.

uncclay5 · 2026-02-02T16:17:06+00:00

Since you’re already active, try a yoga class. Don’t knock it until you try it. Good way to meet people and actually helps with gym work.

Important-Possible-3 · 2026-02-02T15:34:53+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm in a small town with pretty much 0 adult sport leagues it pisses me off actually because the only co ed league available my exwife and all her friends are in.. I do go to the gym a lot, work on all my projects (I'm a huge hobbyist) and recently started playing pickup every Thursday but that's just once a week. the problem with where I live is everyone is boring or too preoccupied with their families (not a bad thing just thins the herd a little) and our extreme climate doesn't help. Everyone just shuts down mentally during peak season

Cool-West6530 · 2026-02-02T15:28:27+00:00

Pick up a hobby, preferably one that involves socializing. Travel and recreation. Find something that gives you purpose.

Empress1978 · 2026-02-02T15:03:51+00:00

Gym, trivia nights, sports leagues (basketball, bowling, and football etc), volunteer on nonprofit board… lots of low impact things!

Virtual_Ad9235 · 2026-02-02T14:55:11+00:00

Start a business!

OchoZeroCinco · 2026-02-02T14:45:33+00:00

The only thing you did before is spend time with your wife?

Tvelt17 · 2026-02-02T14:43:25+00:00

Do you have any adult recreational sports leagues you can join? Pickup basketball or indoor soccer are pretty popular in my area. There's also Pickleball pretty much everywhere. Its a good way to get some exercise and meet some people at the same time.

Also if you don't play an instrument, that can fill a lot of time and be very rewarding as well. I've been playing guitar since I was 13, but took lessons for another year after my divorce just for something to do on Wednesday night after she picked up the kids and I got a lot better and have been playing more now than I have probably since I was in high school.

I started casually dating after about 6 months apart. That was actually a lot of fun. I did meet someone and I'm happily engaged now after being together for the last 2.5 years, so I recommend that at some point, too.

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-02-02T14:37:33+00:00

I have been doing this for years now. Just filling the time with anything. The truth is that it doesn't help. I think I am going to go back into just sitting in the dark alone mode in my free time, because I feel the same whether I'm doing something or not. At the end of the day I'm still completely alone in the world, absolutely broken, and always will be.

yourefunny · 2026-02-02T14:24:10+00:00

Same boat man. Working up the effort and positivity to get out in to the world like you. Have been looking at getting back in to sports. A fair few evening leagues etc where I am. I was really in to woodworking, but that passion fell away as I rent now and have no interest in building furniture like I did. So that will have to wait until I own a home again. But if you do, maybe that is something you could consider? Similar hobbies...?

Jordanthecomeback · 2026-02-02T14:16:29+00:00

Someone said read below, do not read dumb fiction trash that's TV in book form, potato chips and junk food, read something that's going to awaken a spirit of creativity in you. For me it's Rousseau, Confessions and (the much much shorter) Discourse on Arts and Sciences jerked me loose from the holding pattern I was in. They may not for you, but it couldn't hurt to try

Goals should inform how you spend your time. Are you single? Get online and go on dates, date ugly girls, go to those Meetup groups, you're going to learn a skill that will land you a real partner or a wife one day, the ability to easily speak to a stranger. I learned it through dating and use it in the workplace constantly, I'm an extreme introvert who can snap my fingers and turn it off. Do you have other hobbies and interests? If so, pursue them. Binge watching shows isn't a hobby or interest, it's what you do between being born and dying to not think of the the latter, wasting time is, in fact, losing time. What did you like when you were younger, bring it back, did you play chess, or a sport, regain things you've lost. Hobbies can be a bridge to friends and communication, but they can fill the void in between too

RiseNo3399 · 2026-02-02T14:04:08+00:00

Read. Cannot say how much being able to sit down with a book and pour yourself into builds your mind and character. Pick a topic, look for highest rated books on it. Build and fix things. Learning woodworking is an eminently time consuming and rewarding endeavour.

painfulletdown · 2026-02-02T13:52:47+00:00

highly recommend beginner group dance lessons. learning a skill, gets my mind off things, having active fun, and dancing with bunch of girls and making friends. each class is like $15-20.

just go on website of your local dance studios and check their calendars

Chauncy1911 · 2026-02-02T13:49:05+00:00

Figure out what instrument you follow when you are listening to a song(its always the bass to save time here) and learn to play it.

AlternativeMessage18 · 2026-02-02T13:44:46+00:00

Go to a movie, repaint the walls, go to a cigar bar and read the news paper, find some shitty college basketball game to go to - even if it's 2 hours away.

Title	How do you find shit to do?
Author	MaximumIll7812
Upvotes	16
Comments	77
Date	February 2, 2026 1:41 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qtvbyf/how_do_you_find_shit_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-find-shit-to-do.1572538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572538

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