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NoIdeasNoSolutions Archive

View 10 posts and 36 comments by NoIdeasNoSolutions on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Sounds very similar to my deal
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:43 PM
3

I have 50/50 and still pay child support even though there isn’t anything finalized. I have no problem with that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:42 PM
6

How do you feel in retrospect? Was it easier to just eat the loss up front or do you wish you’d negotiated differently? Mine is spending money like it’s never going to end. It’s like watching a car crash but knowing you need to get as far away as possible
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:40 PM
5

Thanks Man, that was a boatload of good info. Thank you for posting. I gave her the sweetheart deal and she is going to blow it up by being greedy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:27 PM
9

Don’t marry again. I think you meant to say Don’t ever get married in the first place. Believe me, I spent 22 years on this. Besides the wonderful kids and those memories, marriage is hell and why you would want to be legally tied to another person for life is now beyond my comprehension. People change a lot over time
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 07:30 PM
5

$180k salary $350k in 401k $250k equity in house 2 minors AZ Alimony estimates are $1800 low and $3000 high from the courts. If I had to pay alimony I’ll definitely need some of those assets back to afford it. Which is why I went with a buyout. I’d rather control my future finances instead of being tethered to her for 10 years
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 07:27 PM
5

I’m at the point of telling her to eat it. Drop the mediation and go back to court. I’m at my limit. Also not looking forward to the lawyer costs (I’ve already spent over $20k on this process), the hit on my credit as I navigate a divorce and home sale, the nastiness that will come out during a court hearing, and the strain on the kids as we make a bad situation worse.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 07:22 PM
3

I can’t focus on anything else. I’m a mess.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 07:17 PM
1

Same boat as you OP. The ex has one year to refinance in her name. I do have a clause where if she misses two consecutive payments the house automatically goes up for sale. But the timeline is 2 months skipped payments, another month to file the motion to sell, 2-3 months average time on the market before it’s sold. I’ll be financially ruined by that point
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 06:42 PM
1

No. Classic story of stay at home mom. She has online retail stores where she makes little money. More of a hobby to allow her to shop.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 04:34 AM
1

I have an attorney. Is the process to mediate and then seek attorney approval?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 04:08 AM
1

Prep wise I would use ChatGPT to research the divorce process, especially in your state, and try to strategize as much as possible. You’ll want to start journaling your parenting schedule to document your participation for custody rights. You’ll have to start planning your financial future and pulling all your financial documents together. Good Luck!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:30 PM
2

I’m in the exact same boat. I’ve been living in the guest bedroom for about a year now and only first filed in November. The kids see you guys apart so they start figuring it out on their own. Since I filed we put a temp orders into place. Scheduling stays the same unless we move apart. I still pay bills. I do owe child support but don’t owe temporary alimony. It’s uncomfortable. We disagree (obviously or we wouldn’t be here) about things and discussing them is tense. I try to grey rock and avoi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:23 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:15 AM
5

Give it a try. It’s really a useful tool alongside a good lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:12 AM
7

It was shocking to hear her admit all that. WOW, did we have different ideas as to how this was going to turn out
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:11 AM
2

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:10 AM
8

I fed it everything, from filings to deep info about our finances and kids. I ran worst-case scenarios all the time and how to respond to each situation. And the pretrial prep was good old fashioned cramming, running mock trials over and over again to get the wording right.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:09 AM
2

For clarification, I’ve used ChatGPT for logistics and planning and court practice, but even ChatGPT told me to get a lawyer. Part of the strategy came from my lawyer’s suggestions. I’m not going in and defending myself
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:29 PM
5

Very kind words brother
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 03:24 AM
1

Thanks. I agree, you have to be careful what you ask it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:31 AM
3

I’ve been using this mantra for a couple months now. I have to learn to take the emotion out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 01:58 AM
1

I’m going through the same thing. Goal would be to cohabitate until the sale of the house. Split the equity and go our separate ways. That’s my goal but I’m trying to prepare for the worst like she gets exclusive use of the house and I’ll have to move AND pay the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:27 PM
1

I’ve been contemplating this, not knowing or trusting she won’t go psycho on me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 08:51 PM
5

Couldn’t afford to live out of the home. Financially not possible. We are stuck together until I can get a court order to sell the house. Then we can split equity and both find our own places
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 08:48 PM
2

We are all scared shitless. Future seems pretty hard to predict at the moment
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 05:08 PM
3

I feel this. They change and it becomes cold. They want the most they can get and it doesn’t seem like they are the same person. Or just maybe the worst version of herself. Harden up. Go grey rock. Keep doing the communication with documentation. This path is not for the faint of heart
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:00 PM
6

I need to remind myself this so often I want it tattooed on my arm
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:43 PM
2

Everyone fights for what they think is fair. Some people can’t decide between fair and vindictive. Maybe their perspective changes after the filing becomes a reality and panic sets in. But I’m scared about her reaction and policing everything I do. Now is not the time to negotiate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 08:17 PM
1

That’s true!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:52 PM
1

I’m learning lots from here. ChatGPT has steered me in a lot of directions but I think I have a solid lawyer. Very little hope tho
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:51 PM
1

High bills + child support + spousal support = more than income. Not going to have anything left to live on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:49 PM
1

I was out when she got served. Then there was a tsunami wave of texts about how could I and what about mediation. She had lots of different names for me. I just kept putting it in ChatGPT and getting the right, lawyer/judge correct response for her. She kept trying to escalate- ChatGPT told me to stay an extra night in the hotel. So here we are.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 12:56 AM
1

Nice post. Asking the same questions but from STBXW perspective is eye-opening
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 05:40 PM
4

Backing this post. I use it for everything, even text responses to make sure I’m not saying anything wrong. I have a project folder called Divorce and I upload documents and emails so the advice is very specific to my circumstances
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 10:51 PM
1

No idea. Day at a time? I filed and the guilt is overwhelming. Breaking up a family is f’d up
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:52 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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