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Optimal-You-8238 Archive

View 11 posts and 109 comments by Optimal-You-8238 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’m actually so busy despite what it may seem like. It’s just what I work from home and in my free time I start spiraling (not just relationship wise but anything.) I have made progress as I limit my time on my iPhone and am meditating more etc. I know it’ll get to a point where I’ll even delete this acct hopefully 🙏 PS does it ever get to u that you (as am I) are way less less experienced?
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 05:15 PM
1

Do anxiety meds make you sleepy during the day?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/24 10:02 AM
2

I’m sorry but this sounds v abusive. Are you sure this is worth it to you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 11:19 PM
1

I just talked to my mom and she agrees it’s silly, and it’s not like I’m particularly religious anyway. I’m glad I didn’t pursue it further. I do think I will like to do the last month before the wedding w full abstinence and he seems to agree that it might make it more special. We’ll see then. I’m not in therapy. I’ve tried it, got very woke cookie cutter people so I’m on the lookout for a good fit for me. Thank u. Ps I did read the marry him book that you recommended almost a year ago in one o…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 07:46 PM
-1

Yeah. I’m pretty sure when I tell my mom she’ll be like…lol.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 07:25 PM
1

I’m 100% a neurotic person as are both of my parents, one of them especially. I have no idea how to get help for this. I exercise daily, meditate often, therapists so far are so cookie cutter it hurts. The only thing that helps me sometimes is taking adhd medication (I’m not even sure if I have it) I just know it rlly calms down my brain. But it’s something I won’t be able to take when pregnant or lactating so I’m like…why even get used to it? And what happens when I don’t have access? It’s exha…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 07:18 PM
1

By that bit I meant our financial situation. We are way better off than most people in our country but I’ve always wanted a really good life and I have faith this will improve over time (it does most of the time anyway as u accumulate resources etc)
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 07:11 PM
1

??
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 06:58 PM
1

Which is?
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 06:31 PM
0

Thank you for the insight. I do want to get married. I’m just not a very decisive or sure person in general. I always have doubts about everything, ruminating whether I could do better (job, partner, friends etc), sometimes sabotaging situations as a result. I love him and want to be w him and our relationship isn’t perfect but I have hope that w time things will get better. Can you please elaborate on your period of abstinence? How long was it for, were you living together etc.?
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 05:36 PM
0

I am looking forward to our life together. I have to say that I’m a generally unsatisfied person so this is a me thing most likely because we do have a good situation. It’s just more that I don’t see anything changing post wedding whereas if we would’ve waited, things would’ve been different
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 05:31 PM
2

How far till the wedding in your case? And please don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you with him if that’s the situation? I can imagine it isn’t easy
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 05:27 PM
1

This is what I’m thinking too! But now it’s like, we have formed this bond (probably a bit too quickly as we were both lonely and it can happen that way), and it feels like a whole “break up” would need to happen in order to go back. So I’m going to try first to navigate it as others have suggested, and if not then I’ll see what I do. I also invited her to my wedding best year and she’s already looking for dresses (not even I have my own dress lol) which makes things worse
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 07:57 AM
1

And I’ll add that in the past I was friends w girls who were less pretty and successful than me and it was hell, so I’ll take the friendships w girls who are prettier than me and in a similar success level any day
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 10:20 PM
3

Thank you for this read as I also intuitively feel her constant talking to me is just off. I don’t think it would ever get to the boyfriend situations, but those def have w other people of course. I have to say I’m in a group of friends now that are girls much more on my level of looks (this sounds disgusting to say) but we do flow a lot better. I actually made a post about me being insecure about one of them but would never in a million years act out on it nor ever tell her any of these appeara…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 10:17 PM
1

This is good advice as well but please read my edit
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 09:30 PM
2

Thanks so much, I will do this
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 09:12 PM
1

DMing you!
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 02:43 PM
1

Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 01:02 PM
1

Now they ARE meeting (on my update) and my anxiety is thru the roof. I bet it won’t even bad, just can’t wait to get it over w
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 10:50 AM
1

Yeah I suppose if she was pressing it would be suspicious. I think it started because we were hanging in a group w a couple and they would tell me to bring him, and I also kinda started wanting to because I’m super fun w them and thought he’d have fun as well, and so it became a thing overtime where I’d tell her I’d bring him, and she’d just kinda be like, well bring him and he’ll have fun etc. The inevitable part is also because she wants to meet our dog and she’d likely do so when he’s home as…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 07:23 PM
4

I agree, thank you
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 05:24 PM
3

What would that be? If I was into her, I’d want to be w her all the time, would be into her sexually etc. None of those things ring true for me, I just think she’s amazing and she seems to think the same for me. I’ve been lonely for a while (long story), but it’s more about him (or any partner) thinking she’s better and preferring her, aka insecurities I guess
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 05:11 PM
5

Hm, I’m a beauty analyst. I enjoy analyzing people’s faces, color seasons, body types, etc. I could describe myself and most people in my life in this way. I think it’s just me being descriptive and a weirdo, more than being in love w her lol. I don’t feel sexual attraction towards women
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 05:08 PM
2

I meant superior in his eyes, of course. I am very fit myself. I understand curvy has been misunderstood w being fat these days, but I meant as in classic curvy and fit. I have no problem with the girl, I’m not insecure when it’s just us. It’s them meeting
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 02:44 PM
1

What do u guys suggest in the occasion where she or the other girls or guys in a group ask why he doesn’t come w? We actually have to spend LOTS of time together for other reasons and have date nights so this is the only night of the week when we are not together and he’d only come in v rarely but I guess I’d do it because they press me for it and also bc I always thought ud want ur friends to meet ur man. It’s that way in our culture anyway, which tbh I wish it wasn’t lol
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 02:34 PM
2

Interesting. It is quite different where I live because people do meet in large groups w their partners often and people often ask me about him since I usually don’t bring him bc I also like to separate. At some point though, they will meeet inevitably
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 02:22 PM
1

What is your advice for me then?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 02:12 PM
8

I’m of a similar opinion. This would be more of a rare occurrence meeting than anything regular. Especially since we are growing closer and eventually she might come over anyway
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 02:12 PM
1

That tip on the responsibility part, I definitely need to think about how I could implement that. The house is a part for sure
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 11:52 AM
1

Thank you. I’m well aware that the frequency of these convos haven’t done anything for his desire towards me and I probably have a lot to do in general regarding applying Laura Doyle’s methods. This whole situation has just gotten me in a bad place, which likely has much more to do w my own insecurities and wants than him in general. My main challenge is that usually we are fine sex wise, but those weeks when we are having less than what I “need” to feel emotionally connected with him, I struggl…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 11:50 AM
2

This has been recommended to me in the past, and I’m looking for therapy in general so guess this is my sign. Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 11:24 AM
1

Thank you. Unfortunately changing jobs is out of question (for now) as we have a business together. This summer we are spending it at a larger flat so we’ll have more space, I’ll see how that goes. I’ve also been single and seen what it’s like and agree I shouldn’t just give it up so easily. Best of luck as well 💕
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 11:23 AM
1

How often you do it/why you’re unhappy in general
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 08:40 PM
4

How do you manage feeling that way without sex?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 08:40 PM
2

How do you deal with wanting 5-7 times a week and only doing it 1-3?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 08:29 PM
2

I actually have considered if I have BPD quite a few times during my adult years. Mainly in my last relationship and in this one, as both of them would describe me as having extreme reactions, mood swings, being unstable etc. I have had episodes of going from one extreme to the other in lifestyle in general and do often struggle with knowing whether I’m having an appropriate reaction or not. However given my general mistrust of modern psychology and the fact that I do times when I’m doing fairly…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 08:20 PM
2

Great, thanks. What would you say your weekly average is?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:27 PM
1

I’m not even sure how to answer this
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:27 PM
-1

You’re probably right. I’m just unsure whether I’m trying to leave bc of self sabotage or bc I’m genuinely unhappy. Bc I do love him, I have no doubt about that
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:24 PM
3

I’d still greatly appreciate if you could provide some of the details I asked for. If you’re not comfortable that’s fine, of course. I also tremendously struggle with initiating sex. Any tips on that?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:22 PM
1

Will listen soon, thank you
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:20 PM
2

I agree with you but I’m not sure if I understand you in regards to my specific post?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:19 PM
1

The rejection thing has literally only been like twice and in the past week or so
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:16 PM
1

Can you please write to me with tips regarding how you’ve figured this out, are getting better at it? Any readings, articles, realizations, that you can recommend I’d greatly appreciate
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:16 PM
1

Thank u both, I suppose there’s some sort of truth to both attitudes
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:12 PM
0

I just generally wonder if I’m setting up myself for failure expecting most men, especially in the older range which is what I like, to what a bigger drive than that, especially in a monogamous, committed situation like this. Sure there are plenty who have a bigger drive but what if I just never find them, or what if I have to sacrifice other things in turn. The list goes on
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:06 PM
2

I hear ya but also knowing myself I’m not decisive regarding anything. I’m always unsure as if there’s a better option and in fact have a history of moving around and changing jobs a lot. I also refuse to believe that everyone out there in a happy marriage was absolutely convinced without ever doubting things. Especially in this day and age where we have such a (false) array of options thrown at us
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 04:01 PM
-1

That’s a good point. I can see how that comment can give the wrong impression of me. I’m a low body count “good girl” who has always wanted to marry and have kids, and have in general agreed with RP women principles. I was celibate for 3 yrs in between relationships and didn’t party much till recently when I rediscovered that I missed it. Maybe bc it makes me feel young again while this relationship makes me feel older than my peers. I’ve done most of the readings, been in this group for a while…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 03:56 PM
1

What’s your personal situation like?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 03:49 PM
-12

Given that I am someone who enjoys partying w friends (and no, I actually never flirt or allow anyone to flirt w me), it does feel as a compromise, especially bc fiance already got partying out of his system and isn’t interested. Even though I literally beg to make the compromise for me … and come out every once in a while. Which he hasn’t really done. Anywho
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 03:42 PM
0

You’re getting the timeline right. I do have horrible self esteem, despite literally having a job that’s partly based on my looks and being praised on them constantly, being generally charismatic and likable, having graduated from an Ivy League, etc., I never feel good enough and just feel jealous of about every other pretty girl out there. I have tried therapy but without much success and had given up on the subject, but it’s time I find someone better to work w, bc clearly I cannot go on like …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 03:41 PM
2

I’d really appreciate if you could elaborate on your friend, whether here or thru PM. Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 03:02 PM
1

Oh my, hope I didn’t Miss your comment !
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:59 PM
2

Haven’t gained weight. In fact I’m more attractive now because of some changes than I was months ago (he’s admitted it too). Thank you for the advice
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:58 PM
-3

Thank you, maybe I should seek therapy. I’ve tried it without much success as my last therapist just seemed really cookie-cutter and woke. Maybe it’s a matter of finding someone better
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:57 PM
1

Thank u
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:21 PM
-2

Maybe. I’m not exactly sure why I’m unhappy. Perhaps it’s those things, intuition, fear, self sabotage or general inability to be satisfied. Perhaps I want people to reassure me or perhaps to pick up on what’s wrong. Not sure but thanks for reading me anyway
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:13 PM
0

Will do thanks. I have brought it up to him now, the putting my work place in a rented room and he has not taken it well as expected. I will ask him to think about it and how it could be good for us.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:12 PM
-2

I don’t think he will take the moving out comment well at all as I’ve already expressed my issues w the relationship/not being happy in general a number of times and he’s asking me to let him go if I’m unsure (understandably). I will try to proposition renting a cheap room to put my work stuff in to see what he says
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:06 PM
1

Thank u
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:05 PM
1

I will say that the moving out is difficult bc my work equipment is at his place and I also save rent. We also have a date for our wedding so he will not take it well. I will still discuss it w him but I’m not sure it will happen/he will respond well
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 01:57 PM
-2

Thank you for this
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 01:55 PM
-16

I actually do leave the house quite a bit. More than him for sure. I leave daily for workouts and to do work outside whenever it’s something that I CAN do outside. I also leave on weekends, and had a phase of coming home rlly late from partying which sparked up some fights but also resulted in more passionate sex lol. At this point he doesn’t want me out partying till super late which I get but I feel like it’s yet another compromise I’m making youth wise. Thank you for your advice on initiating…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 01:35 PM
1

Advice on sparking this conversation for a girl who’s a bit shy? I’m not shy in bed at all but talking about it yes. I guess more so bc I’ve already asked partner and he just says stuff like I like what you’re doing as is. Rip
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 10:42 PM
1

❤️❤️
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 04:31 PM
2

Interesting, I need to look into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 01:52 AM
1

Why are age gap relationships of that nature bound to fail? Me and my fiancé have the same age gap as them RIP
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 11:52 PM
3

It sounds it’s thru from this post alone tbh
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 03:12 PM
1

Sounds super interesting, I lol check it out
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 04:46 AM
1

Thank you! My anxiety is definitely coming from too much leisure when compared to normal haha but it is something I’m overall afraid of. Thanks for the tips <3
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 04:24 AM
10

I was always into age gaps. I’m 24 and partner is 33. We started dating a year ago. Pros: more mature, more direction and focused in life, has his shit (more) together than a 20 year old. Cons: wants kids sooner than me, is less into the sex and excitement of a relationship and going out, and more into creating a life/family/etc., also less obsessed w sex than a 20 year old which I do miss, less intensity in general and more maturity and calmness. I of course prefer someone older but it’s not pe…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 01:02 AM
1

Ahh ok that’s not super bad then, you guys spend more time separately than those who work at home (me 😭). I made a post on this that I’m trying to get approved
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 09:26 PM
1

U work in separate offices outside or inside the home?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 08:42 PM
1

I’m in a similar situation as you, as my fiancé and I both work from home. We’ve only been together a year but I can already see the effects of too much time together and I’m terrified. I’m curious—does he still get turned on by you? Or is it just you struggling? And if I may ask, how often do you have intimacy and how much time do you spend together etc.? Is it easier for you to get turned on after you’ve seen him less ?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 07:55 PM
3

Agreed, read mating in captivity, she explains it farther though I do wish she dedicated a section to more practical tips
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 07:53 PM
2

I’ve been deeply in love twice and never been blind to other men. This is such a popular narrative in the RP and yet it surely doesn’t apply to all women. Probably not even most. Sure do I notice way fewer men than men do women? 100%, I’m just not attracted to as many men as men are attracted to women. But I still recognize hot men, rich men, charismatic men. And I’m still attracted to them even though I’d never do anything
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:32 PM
1

I’m engaged now (24F). I had one relationship from 18 to 21 and was single after. No hook ups but lots and lots of dates. I decided to remain celibate till I found my person. Most of the dates I went on the guys expected sex quite early. Not usually on the first date in my case but within the first few for sure, and many would lose interest otherwise. Sure, others didn’t but they didn’t end up being what I wanted or I what they wanted. My fiancé has one older friend who’s in a serious relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:16 PM
3

So true
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 03:36 PM
5

This is something I’m implementing myself, the allowing natural consequences to take place
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 03:36 PM
2

Omg I also got banned from a random subreddit for posting here and didn’t know what was going on. So weird. Anyway, to answer your question, I’m going thru a similar thing. Part of me is like well If he was “better” I’d respect him more but reading the surrendered wife has me thinking that’s unlikely, and it’s likely an inner issue (w exceptions ofc). I don’t have any advice as I need advice myself but I’m reading the book rn and it’s helping, so def re read it
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 03:34 PM
1

Well I’ll be asking them, thank u :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 02:50 PM
1

I’d love for you to elaborate on the how-to for the enduring femininity part
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:36 AM
1

Facts, thank u!
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:31 AM
1

Regarding the first paragraph, I have noticed that greatly. The guy is super into the girl’s looks at the start then he’s “hunted her down” and it’s less relevant. He appreciates her for other stuff but continues to inevitably be attracted to other women’s looks (as you said by design, since men are sexual hunters in a way). This is what I meant by it all being in a trap. Our whole lives we are told to maximize our looks only for them to become something in the background once you’re in a relati…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:31 AM
2

Thank you! Great advice
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 09:15 PM
1

Thank you both, I’d appreciate some practical tips on getting here
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 06:03 PM
31

She does cook and clean. There’s a vid offset took of her once cleaning the house, laughing at the lyrics from wap. I get your point, her relationship’s a mess but a person who wants to cheat will do it whether you cook clean or not
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 05:16 PM
1

And he did say if he were my brother he’d be w her which is why it triggered me. And when I said it did he said it was bc my brother lacks options at the moment and I was like ok lol…whatever
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 06:30 PM
1

I know, but still couldn’t help but feel super jealous. I kept thinking how if my fiancé was single he’d totally fall for her. I’m probably wrong as intellectually they have nothing in common and she does have all the drama, but she’s beautiful, sexy, agreeable, can cook well, etc. Just insecurities who knows
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 06:26 PM
1

Thank u!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 04:25 PM
1

She was stunning though. I mean tbh I’m sure to plenty of people I’m just as attractive if not more but she was so feminine and sexy, I was really taken aback . I could tell all the men were into her
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 04:25 PM
10

At the very least take a break from the relationship, where he can see that it is serious and that you’re reconsidering it all. It’s going to be hard to trust him after this so take it seriously for your own sake
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 01:07 PM
2

lmfao that sounds mortifying! do you think he would do it maliciously or just didn't care or it would genuinely slip? I can understand him talking about other beautiful women but saying the ex was hotter...idk man
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:49 PM
2

I'm going to look into the Big 5 model, I took the test once but then had to pay and didn't lmfao, but I will do it again and look into the neuroticism as it's exhausting. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:50 AM
2

thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:49 AM
2

the second paragraph makes a lot of sense, thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:47 AM
1

thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:43 AM
2

thank you for your comment
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:41 AM
1

thank you for sharing
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:40 AM
1

thank you for the advice
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:40 AM
2

good advice, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:32 AM
3

was it Emily Ratajkowski? :P I think I remember reading a comment on a similar post about this and remember relating to you lmao. What kind of things would your ex tell you, just curious... and thanks for commenting!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:31 AM
2

the whole getting back at him was just something I wrote in the heat of the moment but that isn't really within my character and will not end up doing; thank you for your advice, I always look forward to your replies in posts. However, there's another commenter who wrote she'd likewise be devastated, confusing me more about whether I should bring this up again w him regarding how he made me feel, in a clear precise, less emotional way. I'd love more advice, thanks
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 12:26 AM
5

this is good advice, thank you! I've considered this but then it is so unattractive to admit that you are this insecure. I want to be the confident girl who's genuinely secure in herself and isn't too bothered by this. I suppose I 'm trying to fake it till I make it (but not really lol). And I also think of how I like to have people's authentic side. However, it is likely that I might end up having this convo w him if I do not improve.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 12:39 AM
8

thanks for answering! if he had said that about a girl I deemed less attractive than me I may have felt differently, though it would've still bothered me. I've realized via this situation that I inherently feel superior or inferior in regards to other women based on how desirable they are. To some people I'm probably more attractive than this girl, we are probably not that far off looks wise, but to me she was super sexy, more "authentically" latina than me, more feminine, can cook better, etc. …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 12:21 AM
1

I agree with the objective convo thing. More importantly, does he have ambition to improve or is he fine where he is?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 07:27 PM
6

I don't like promiscuous men either, if only because it makes me feel like they're unlikely to be good marriage material, but many are desirable and that's how they got that BC to begin with. Most women who want marriage and aren't promiscuous themselves won't want these kinds of men.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 07:23 PM
2

I, too, often feel like everything is a lie/we women have been sold a lie, starting w Disney movies. However, like others have said, RP women is ultimately about improving and does not guarantee anything. You cannot control this other person and you have done your absolute best.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 07:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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