Hello all,

Thanks for reading. I’m going to tell y’all about an event that actually took place quite some months ago w my fiancé (33M), (I’m 25F), that I usually don’t think about that much anymore but that I still can’t quite let go of.

Fiancé and I have been together for a year and a half and last summer we were driving somewhere and a Twitter notification popped up on his phone. This used to happen from random people he followed, usually celebs. I looked at it and asked who it was (a girl) (btw it was her random tweet not them talking), and he said it was some girl he followed who’s qnti woke like we are and who works at this place he goes to. Without getting into details he goes annually for one month every evening to this let’s call it a sport. He has the membership to the arena then and she works there selling sodas, chips, etc. He told me she was just some random girl who worked there and who had an OF but guessed she didn’t make much from it as she still worked there. He told me he had said hi to her there. He said it all very nonchalantly and transparently, and was surprised when I told him I thought meeting up to say hi w a girl/someone who does OF is very disrespectful to me. He said that if I thought so he had no problem w that and it wouldn’t happen again.

Fast forward a year later (some months ago) and I accompanied him to this event where he goes yearly and where she works. He told me that he was gonna check if she was there so he could introduce us (later told me so that I’d see that nothing’s up). She didn’t turn out to be working that day. While at the event he showed me a funny meme on Twitter and got a notification from her (public tweets not private messages). Basically she had tweeted something random and he replied, “and when will you be here because I didn’t see you today?” this upset me greatly as I thought I had made it clear a year ago that I wasn’t ok w that.

He said that since he had tried to introduce us he thought it was ok now. That night I looked thru is Twitter (from my phone, just checking his tweets replies etc) and saw that tho he wasn’t greatly active he had replied to a lot of her tweets throughout the years (before we got together). If memory serves me there were no replies after we had that conversation until that day when I accompanied him to the event but there were still some during the beginning of our relationship. It wasn’t flirty stuff but still don’t see the need to be replying to a girl’s tweets while dating someone. Most were very random except two. One was her saying she was hungry and him being like I’ll bring you some chips next time (he swears it was just the tweet and didn’t do it). And One specific tweet killed me. In a lot of her posts she used a random expression/emoji. Let’s say it was lol though it wasn’t. And here, It was her posting a new profile pic and him replying w “lol.”

When I saw all this I left home and went insane as I’ve been cheated on the past. I didn’t think he had had anything w her but it was all so infuriatingly disrespectful. I asked to see their Instagram DMs, and soon before we started dating he had DMed her and she didn’t reply. They had DMed a lot before about random things. He swore on his life he had never had any romantic interest in this girl and that I should believe him because he is usually honest and sometimes overly shares about his past or whether a girl is attractive. He also said he doesn’t think any of his friends or ex’s would think this was so bad (he’s from southern Europe where ppl r oddly liberal).

I asked a girl friend from the same country as him and she says it would’ve bothered her till she realized there’s nothing there and would’ve moved on. I also went thru his messages w his friend (he didn’t know at the time) where he told him that I was freaking out over some random Twitter girl. His friend agreed that it was no big deal but that also writing lol on the girl’s pic was unnecessary. I feel like if he had actually been into this girl he would’ve said something to the friend in the convo.

This girl is very average, not particularly pretty at all. Kinda cute and nerdy, not at all someone who you’d expect to have an OF. Still I refused to believe him and though we have made up since then and he deleted his Twitter and has assured me there’s none of that going on anywhere else or w anyone, I definitely trust him less, which I’ve expressed to him.

Like i said this was months ago but I still don’t feel satisfied about it. Perhaps I should’ve been harsher and left for a little. I’m considering whether I should do so now. She also has a bf now not that this matters w the timeline.

Idk. Thoughts?

Edit: I guess I’m mainly looking to see if there’s anything I could or ask for to actually move on from this. We haven’t talked about it in a while as I said I would stop bringing it up but like I said I literally don’t trust men to begin w so this just made me trust him all the less. We are currently planning our wedding and after learning how unforgiving and rigid the catholic church is regarding marriages or divorce, I don’t really want to make that huge of a compromise to ANY man much less in this modern world. He insists he ideally wants to marry via the church, but I might admit that part of why I don’t trust as much is this and we should just do a civil ceremony for now and maybe in some years do the religious.

Edit 2: he would reply to her tweets like every few months or so, not that frequently. Still drives me mad and I feel like I need to make him feel like he did w me