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Partypuppers Archive

View 17 posts and 1,225 comments by Partypuppers on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
868

THINGS SCROTES SAYPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:20 AM
448

CULTURAL MISOGYNYPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:10 PM
340

MALE DEPRAVITYPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 11:35 AM
279

STAY WOKEPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 06:14 PM
269

TRIGGER WARNINGPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:57 AM
124

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:56 AM
97

STRATEGYPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:49 PM
56

MINDSET SHIFTPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:26 PM
33

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:46 PM
26

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:17 PM
20

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:23 AM
16

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:59 PM
13

SEEKING ADVICEPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:58 PM
5

SEEKING ADVICEPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:39 PM
1

DISCUSSIONPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 09:10 PM
1

RANTPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:09 PM
1

THINGS SCROTES SAYPartypuppers/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:18 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,225 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

I have to say number 1 and number 3 both gave me 'nope' vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 11:42 PM
148

I actually think Shake was shook lol. He's the kinda guy who won't be into a girl but will get offended if she rejects him first. Look at his eyes during that scene. He played it off as if he couldn't care less but he was definitely upset and shook to be rejected. He didn't deserve her and he has some serious commitment issues to work through. Deepti looking hot AF to her wedding and choosing herself gave me life. The fact that she said (paraphrasing) "he doesn't realise what he's just lost and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 02:29 PM
191

Yes 100% and I think Natalie needs to work on her confidence. She's said a number of times that she was attracted to Shayne because he was so different from her and so much more confident. I got the impression she was attracted to him because she wanted to have his qualities of confidence and extraversion. She doesn't need him, she just needs to work on herself, to grow her own personality and confidence etc.. I'm so glad she didn't choose him, they were so incompatible in terms of their financi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 01:39 PM
3

100% this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 08:22 PM
23

Argh the resilience thing pisses me off so much. I don't know what you all think but I also don't believe that Iyanna would actually stick around in the way he thinks she would if he started treating her that way (and I think he's already showing signs of doing that, and more importantly, she is noticing it and commenting on it e.g., 'I want to see your actions, not your words'). Like...yes she is resilient and she is a bit naive by FDS standards but I hope she digs into that 'resilience' and le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:22 PM
26

It's ok to grieve your past, but you can also look at the positive: that you have that as a frame of reference to compare your new self against. Of course it is frustrating that we have had to live through painful circumstances but I have found that I've always been more successful in course correcting when the emotional pain of a past experience is still quite salient for me, and where it's painful enough to be an important lesson that I learn from and don't repeat that again. Be kind on yourse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:02 PM
4

Oh god you just reminded me of the three nerds. I hated them SO much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 07:53 PM
51

I will say this; vampires were SUPPOSED to be LV. They had no souls (I won't get into Angel because I hated him more than Spike tbh). They're EVIL. I really do think the love pairings were meant to be toxic, and we weren't supposed to root for them. I remember watching as a young teenager and being like, "All these people are a mess lol". Yeah I remember watching an interview where they said the vampires were meant to be unpopular and Whedon got pissed off that people were crushing on Spike and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:35 AM
52

Honestly Giles is one of my favourite characters and you know you're growing older when you go from fancying the vampires to fancying bookworm Giles 😂 But seriously, I love how he's a badass on the quiet. He's sometimes incredibly shy and polite and mild mannered but you know he's got that Ripper in him that when SHTF he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty and fighting for the ones he loves. What's not to love 😍😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:31 AM
2

Given how small a person he is I hope he's a grower and not a shower.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 01:33 PM
6

Can I upvote this twice?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 12:50 AM
2

Ahahahaha I'm dying 😂😂😂 "ethically non-monogamous" is exactly what he would be calling himself. And as you've so perfectly stated he's the kind of woke, 'educated' man (how many of these have I known in academia?!) who basically read to shore up their own entitled opinions, to the detriment of everyone else around them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 09:22 AM
28

Yes! The last chapter of that book hit me like a tonne of bricks. I honestly thought about it for months. I love the idea of dissecting it from an FDS lense. I think the book has many themes but one of the biggest themes is about his limerance and how he justifies his limerance when he's younger by pretending to be a 'modern man' (feels very lib-femmy), and how at the end he's forced to admit that he's 'old fashioned'. However the latter is still a way of continuing his limerance, his fantasy to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:22 PM
3

Could it be because women weren't allowed to have their own bank accounts until the 70s? It would make sense that the woman would need to have access to her husband's account and that this societal practice would continue even after women started getting bank accounts? We can look back and praise it but unfortunately I think it was another way to financially control women at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 09:16 PM
0

Yeah for sure it's a great way to get intel on what they think 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:10 PM
2

Yup, never forget. I said in another reply that you should always maintain your HV female friendship groups because the assumption is that male friends are temporary (because they want something you don't want to give).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:15 PM
1

Absolutely 100% and I think you've understood the spirit of my post. I'm understanding from the replies I've been getting on how it could rub some women up the wrong way, and I completely understand that because I've been burned by male friendships before and I also went to an all girls school and, much like your friend, had to work on developing healthy boundaries and friendships with men. To someone who's perhaps still healing from those experiences and hasn't had the privilege of my situation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:11 PM
-2

Yeah I understand. I think you'll find that my original post doesn't deny that a man is likely attracted to you if he's your friend, quite the contrary. I know they have agendas. My post is about the strategy of vetting these men if you're single, while thinking about ways they can benefit women (versus how men use women's labour for their own gain).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:59 PM
4

Fair enough and your points are completely valid. I'd like to clarify what I've said by saying that it takes time for me to find someone attractive as getting to know their personality is a big part of attraction for me. Being friends for a while helps me to understand what kind of person they are in different contexts and situations (i.e., not just on dates where they are on their best behaviour, as would be the case on OLD or straight up dating). I've found that my romantic relationships have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:56 PM
-3

Lol that's why when I hang out with them I say very obvious things like "hey buddy, how are you?", Or "hey mate, how is it going", and NEVER make the conversation sexual in the slightest. No flirting, no innuendos or jokes, no dressing to impress, nothing that crosses that line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:33 PM
11

Ah yes fair enough, I have a rather liberal definition of friendship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:24 PM
4

Yeah exactly, it gives you the ability to realise they may not be compatible with you. It's the FDS 'no sex for 3-6 months' rule, but this vetting time is extended under friendship and with less pressure to date someone. Also, if you're someone like me who finds it a bit of a chore to actively date people (and the time/ financial commitments that come with that), this is a better way to 'date' because you're meeting people at places you'd rather be in any way (clubs, hobby groups, social circles…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:19 PM
12

Fair enough, my friendship circle works in the way I've described it here. However, I'm generally very careful with the kind of men I let into my life. The point is that I'm intentional about who I have as a male friend, who I vet, and also how much effort I put in vs what I get out of it. This post is for people like me who struggle with OLD and need an alternative answer to building up their network of male friends/ acquaintances in real life so as to have more 'touch points' with contacts who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:57 PM
234

I'm actually completely indifferent to his post. "Man finds something to jerk off to" more news at 11 🥱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:48 PM
20

That's a good idea. How do you bring up the conversation and ask them about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 11:33 PM
82

Omg I hate this dynamic sooo much. Women like this judge you if you tell them they should dump their partners, they judge you if you don't complain about your partner and they judge you if you have higher standards and wouldn't tolerate the shit they complain about. I hate the concept of female bonding being based on this crabs in a bucket mentality. UGH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 04:48 PM
6

My understanding is that you can still catch it even if you practice safe sex with a condom. What exactly was he saying when he was trying to convince you that there are ways you can have sex with him without putting yourself at risk?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 01:35 AM
3

This exactly. I've always had the ability to extrapolate a man's seemingly "small" display of LV behaviour, to understand that it is just the tip of the iceberg and a spyhole into his values and how he perceives the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:26 PM
6

I'm so HYPED for this. Really enjoyed the conversation, ladies. Please think about having him back for another episode à la Gail Dines style. 🙏🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:34 PM
1

This is a reason why men also respect women less, because they see women accepting and putting up with shit they would never put up with. Would you respect someone who was living below your personal standards? Who made decisions with weak boundaries and low self respect? That's how men see women, and the world is full of women like this. We think it's loving, they think it's stupid. Of course it benefits them that women are this way, and they pursue women who are this way (who are utilities that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 03:55 PM
3

I want women to develop more of a backbone. Consequences for a man's poor behaviour should start and be enforced at the begining of a relationship. Make them understand that there will be consequences for even the smallest of transgressions (and they will start small) so he best not even think about larger transgressions. Always be ready to value your peace and dignity and be ready to leave. Ideally your man is HV enough to be a decent person but let's say he slips up (we're all human). My ex di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:32 PM
13

I don't have much to add to this except to say I too prefer eating just the egg whites, you're not alone sis highfive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 10:56 PM
68

I've often wondered this myself. My ex, though a mostly decent person, wasn't exactly my physical type. His smell also wasn't pleasant to me and I understand that that's a big part of attraction. I have vaginismus and I wonder what it would be like for me to have sex with a man I truly physically desired and wholeheartedly craved, who smelled good to me and turned me on like no other. I rarely find men so attractive and so I've never had the chance to find out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 12:50 PM
6

Your story dragged up a distant memory for me, one about a situation that happened when I was a young girl at university. I was on my way to see my friend at her dorm. The university I was attending had dorms scattered all around the city (it wasn't an enclosed campus) so members of the public could wander near areas of student accommodation or the lecture halls. Now it was dark and I could see the security gates to my friend's dorm up ahead of me when suddenly I noticed a man walking towards me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 04:35 PM
3

Thanks so much for providing context on this. This is definitely food for thought. I'm glad you're happy ☺️🥰.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 12:48 PM
12

Omg how infuriating 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 12:57 PM
24

Sounds lovely. Would you mind going into more detail of how your prenup works and the vesting schedule etc.?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 04:15 AM
36

LOL when you husband is so useless that a tornado destroying your home is a blessing 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:13 AM
5

Might be good to have a lady with a headscarf too as I think we have a few Muslim ladies on here ☺️ And also, not sure if this would be too much writing to fit but one saying 'If he wanted to he would', could be fun!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 12:41 PM
5

Oh my god, what the fuck☠️ 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 11:03 AM
51

It gets easier. I don't want to sound arrogant but I was always levelling up on friends as a child, as a teenager and now as an adult. I came from a very poor background and used my wits, academic smarts and emotional intelligence to avoid bad life choices and aggressively pursue avenues that increased my cultural and financial capital. I now work at a FTSE 250 company. I was bullied along the way, I lost a lot of friends because I outgrew them. Most of my life has been spent lonely. But guess w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 03:37 PM
1

Thank you 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:54 PM
40

"Angel 🥺👉👈🌹?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 03:46 PM
3

This is actually so true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 03:39 PM
19

I think it's because men don't judge other men on the same criteria that we (non-pick me women) do. They judge men based on inter-male dominance criterias, e.g. Is he super strong? Is he ridiculously wealthy? Does he have political power? Etc. If the answer to any or all of these is 'yes' then they respect and celebrate that man because they see him as having achieved a position of dominance among men. That's why they also celebrate below average, unattractive, LV men like Adam Sandler. He repre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 01:55 PM
3

I have two male friends and whenever we message or meet in person we never talk about anything sexual, there is never any flirting and we also refer to each other multiple times as "buddies", for example, if I were to message one I'd say "hey buddy", or "hey mate" and they also greet me in the same way. I make it very clear we are friends. Edit: I also don't dress up around them. I can be very sexy and attractive when I want and I literally do the least, I don't put my sexual self forward when I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 02:04 PM
43

This backfired on my teacher because I was a really well behaved student but with a hidden mischievous streak that came out around difficult characters lol. So, my teacher sat me down next to this troublemaker boy in class. At first he was wary of me and probably thought I was there to babysit him. However, I didn't give a shit and as the class progressed I made him laugh so much that he started enjoying my company. We became friends and would have laughing fits at our desks, which probably disr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:34 PM
155

Yeah even as a child my perception of the guys was that Joey was sexist, Chandler was mean and Ross was a pathetic SensitiveBoy™️. I didn't have the vocab to explain it at the time (I was very young) but I didn't really find the humour funny and I didn't watch it because I didn't enjoy it. Looking back though, I think it's interesting how even then child me knew the men weren't shit 😂 like, what good intuition to have at such a young age. (Unfortunately, at that time I hadn't yet understood that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:26 PM
9

That sounds lovely. Not to be a Debbie Downer but you should take an STD test for your UTI infection just in case he's cheated on you or accidentally given you something he had from before you were together. I used to take STD tests every 6 months during my last relationship of 7 years. Most women only find out their partners have cheated on them when they catch something so if your partner knows you do STD testing regularly, that's extra pressure on them not to cheat and if they do cheat, they'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 06:10 PM
222

Their attention spans may have been ruined by gaming and porn, they don't have the same level of concentration to read books or even write them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 12:51 AM
328

This made me snort with laughter, "sex is becoming something I dread"...Wheeewww, I bet every woman knows that feeling, of not really wanting to have sex but feeling obligated to. While I do think it's a little cruel he's not allowed to eventually orgasm (if I am reading this correctly), lil homie needs to understand that two orgasms is nothing. I don't know about other women but I know I don't feel satisfied with just two orgasms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:54 PM
25

It's interesting to see how rough he looks, he looks like a shell of a man. I know he has taken drugs in the past and it just goes to show that a man who positions himself as the absolute authority on how to live your best life can also be very, very flawed (which he is). That's why you should never idolise anyone (the way that incels and redpillers do with him).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:52 PM
47

Bonus - he later admitted under the influence of alcohol that he had an ED but promised he was a "good toucher" 🤦‍♀️😂 This is the saddest thing I've read on the internet in a while. I am both sad and cringing with laughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 08:31 PM
8

If it's affecting your health you should cut off the friends who are giving you grief. They are complaining about you being treated well, that says a lot about them and what they see as your lot in life. You are worthy of being treated well, you are worthy of friends who celebrate you being treated well and expect that to be the baseline standard and norm for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:38 AM
6

So do I. It was a nice little Friday perk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:32 AM
1

I think Hozier seems to be pretty HV so far. A very humanitarian man, though sometimes his songs have less than savoury characters in them and whether he writes them based on personal experience is a question I've sometimes wondered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 05:22 PM
146

It's such a man thing to do to leave a complete stranger in your house and not think about the potential safety concern. Its like it didn't even occur to him that this guy could pose a danger because men don't have to consistently worry about their safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 04:54 PM
14

I'd like to offer an alternative view from someone who comes from a minority religion. My mother's side is Turkish Alevi (religious minority in Turkey, not to be confused with other Alawites) and in this religion both men and women are acknowledged as being equals. In Sunni Islam (the majority religion in Turkey), women are seen as subservient to men and the mixing of different sexes is considered improper. So, for example, if you're in a conservative area, you as a Sunni woman wouldn't be able …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:09 AM
70

Setting the seriousness of this issue aside for a second, the slow zoom onto the man while the music gently rolled in sent me 😂😂😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 08:25 PM
37

It really didn't sit right with me when I originally saw this segment. Three grown men sitting around a woman making fun of her body. I wished that Christina Ricci had just said "yep, I've got underarm hair, so what?" Instead of constantly self policing herself by saying things like, "yeah it's not cute".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:48 PM
68

This has really put it into perspective for me as to why gay marriage is so important. I was somewhat young and ignorant when gay marriage became legalised. I just thought "oh cool" and didn't think much of it, but now that I'm older and more understanding, I can't imagine living my life loving someone as my spouse for 20 years and not having the same legal rights as a straight married couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:33 PM
5

I was looking for a watch so my ex took me watch shopping and bought me a $650 dollar designer watch to make me happy. He also booked us a couple's massage and a suite in an expensive hotel that must have cost close to $800 dollars. He wasn't on a huge salary at the time, he just wanted to make me happy and he was generous and kind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 08:14 PM
3

Would you be able to share what your side hussles are? I would love to know more (or DM me if you feel more comfortable).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:11 PM
10

The last point is so important, and I didn't realise how important it was until my ex-bf didn't stand up to a man who groped my ass. When I asked him why, he said that after experiencing heavy bullying as a kid he was still afraid of bullies. We were in our mid-20s by this point and my ex was 6ft4 and a built dude. That weak ass shit was such a turn off. I've been bullied in the past too but I've been psychologically resilient enough to face my fears and get over it when it's mattered. The fact …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:36 PM
36

Yes me too! I always wanted to like him but could never bring myself to actually do so because of the smug creepy vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 02:07 PM
19

We deserve partners who will meet us at the mountaintop because they climbed it too. I have to say I absolutely love, love, love this analogy. Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with us 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 02:49 AM
231

That was really the cherry on top of the steaming shitcake that is their relationship...🤦🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 01:41 AM
43

Yasssss gurllll, you dropped this 👑✨✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 10:41 PM
68

Yep I have a guy friend who I've known for maybe 3 years? He's always been interested in me even if he thinks I'm not aware of it (he's never come on to me because he knows he's too young for me but a woman knows when a guy is interested). Anyway, we catch up sometimes and shoot the shit, and he just admitted to me that he's not emotionally available with any of the girls he's dating. I found this out after YEARS of friendship, imagine if I had become involved with him. I think a good dating str…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:57 PM
86

This comment is actually so insightful. Their money has lost a lot of value in modern times...because women are gaining financial independence! If we're thinking survival of the fittest, the best course of action as a man would be to become a likeable partner (i.e. a good human being, who does his fair share of housework and emotional labour, protects his mate from sexually aggressive men etc.). Instead most men are trying to manipulate and abuse women into giving them sex and emotional labour. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 03:15 AM
21

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 07:45 PM
1

I joined when we were around 90k people. Can't believe how much it's grown! FDS is my favourite sub on Reddit, especially when the content leans in towards feminist theory. I've even noticed my non FDS friends bringing up FDSisms in conversation, that's when you know it's making a cultural impact 👑💕✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 11:15 AM
20

You sound like a good teacher!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:24 AM
19

Damn, mind blown right here 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 01:55 AM
2

I was so pumped to hear you guys like Magnificent Century. Hürrem is such an incredibly fun, mischievous, machievellian character to watch, I found myself taking notes on how to be a bad B 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 07:05 PM
56

The statement he released (I think it was) on IG talking about the split between him and Gigi just reeked of manipulation and gaslighting to me...that was my gut feeling anyway. I don't trust him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 09:29 AM
10

Please do! I would love to read it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:01 PM
35

If I was Lisa and he told me that I would think, "wait so you ghosted a girl and now you're trying to make up for it but you didn't even care about her enough to remember her face, and now, what's worse is you're confusing her with me?" You know that feeling when you do the arithmetic and conclude the man you're talking to is an idiot? 🧮+🧠 =🗑️🙎 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:31 PM
18

Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 09:43 AM
16

I have a few guy friends and let me tell you, a man can fall in love with you before physical intimacy is ever a thing. When he gets to know you and gets to respect you as a human being, a man's emotional investment in you becomes a powerful thing. If you choose to add sex to that you've got yourself a potent combination. That's when men are the most invested. Men need time to fall for you, before sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 07:35 PM
76

I don't give out my number until I've met someone. Sometimes I will insist we chat on the app until I've gotten to know them, even if I have met them, and won't give them my number. Its a test for me, if they're understanding then that's good. If they get huffy at the smallest boundary then I unmatch. Say no to a man and see what his response is. Its always good to test this early on, and more than once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:08 PM
2

Can you please share what red flags we should be looking out for? Also really sorry you went through that 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 11:44 AM
19

Yes I'm trying to work on this, when going on dates I'm trying to avoid coming across as a bunch of "services I could potentially represent" (so well put btw). Its tricky because I'm someone who has a natural knack at learning new skills and being useful. I like improving myself and that comes with having abilities. Unlike you, however, I do look for the practical "services" that a man can offer me, can he cook? Can he clean? Can he fix things? Is he good at money? Etc. (All basic stuff tbh). I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 10:53 AM
97

Yep. I get hit on all the time. I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day, thinking I looked like a million bucks and thought "damn, I'm too cute to be all alone up in here." I feel like men are missing out, I have so much to offer but no one on my level 🤷🏼‍♀️ Absolutely loving life regardless though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 09:01 PM
3

As someone who had a similar experience, I'd also like to know the answer to this question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 04:34 PM
33

Not being funny, that doesn't look like 20 million...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 11:52 AM
2

What are some strategic questions I could ask to gauge whether a man is emotionally available and looking for a relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:13 AM
13

She even brags that she bought him the shirt her bf is wearing (the one that Harry compliments). I'm not saying you should never gift your partner anything, but I feel like this is definitely NOT the flex she thinks it is in the context of her whole relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 06:22 PM
25

Totally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 03:04 PM
1

I'm not as well versed in this. Why are most of if intuitive dominant? What does that say about us in the context of FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:34 PM
2

ENFP here wassup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:47 PM
1

Why do you think it makes sense? Would love to hear your thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:46 PM
1

Congrats!! That's a massive step 🎉✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:47 PM
33

I work in private equity and it is exactly the same situation in this industry, and, I suspect, across Finance in general. This month I realised, through FDS, how gendered my own role is as 'support' staff, how much my job revolves around coddling and attending to the men who occupy more senior positions of power and authority. Even though I am not an EA or PA, I feel that my role is seen as a glorified version of one because I am a woman and my role is to support the mostly male team. When I fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:44 PM
12

Yeah she's got her scrotation down pat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:47 PM
46

I noticed this too! Her lyrics in Love On Top were, "and finally you put me first". Like, girl! Hasn't he been putting you first this entire time? Did it take for you to be an baby incubator for his 'legacy' before he started properly prioritising you? And it sounds like once the reality of childbirth and childrearing hit, he went and cheated on her. So ridiculous. Also, I think she owns a minority stake in Tidal (so it's not even 50/50 with Jay-Z), so this entire time she's been releasing succe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:45 PM
112

Ahahah an old baby is the perfect way to describe him! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 07:46 AM
1

I need length AND girth. No one wants to fuck a tuna can and no one wants to fuck a pencil either… Demand both girth and length, sis. 😂💀 😂😂😂 Omg tuna can I am deceased ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:43 PM
55

How did you make progress? Do you have any tips?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:29 PM
45

Yeah this is what I did (annoyingly). I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years and only got to see my ex and have sex twice a year. Why did I do that? It was stupid of me. Would not recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:16 PM
2

Does this mean flaired users will still be able to access and post content?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 10:47 AM
3

Same his entire way of talking was making me feel uncomfortable...like what a volatile, stress inducing, black hole of a man. His entire energy was so awful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:58 PM
18

Omg what the hell, that's hilarious 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:54 PM
53

I'm Turkish. When men find out I'm Turkish they always tell me they love Turkish food and then ask me if I can cook it. Already being put in the mommy mcbangmaid situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:59 AM
78

Queen shit 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:55 AM
1

Interesting! Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:26 PM
2

Haha yeah it's a problem. Both France and Germany have a history of disliking Turks. I don't think Erdogan has done much for our international reputation either 😬 Do you think I could visit Armenia as a Turk and have a safe/ good time? I'd personally like to see it one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:18 PM
2

Yeah it's fair that you would be concerned about your safety. I think I would feel the same if I were visiting Armenia. How often do you go to Turkey? I also think the Reddit conversations that take place about Turkey and it's neighbouring countries are so incredibly toxic, I hate reading them. If you go on a certain European focused subreddit the discrimination and Islamaphobia against Turkey is disgusting (and I'm not particularly religious but even for me some of the things they say are disgu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 05:59 PM
13

I don't really know how to answer this because my own situation is quite unique. I was born and raised in the UK so I've never been fully immersed in the Turkish national dialogues that may (or may not) have taken place on this topic. Complicating it further, my dad is a Sunni Muslim and my mum is Alevi. For those of you who don't know, Alevi Muslims have been persecuted just as the Kurds, Armenians and other ethnicities have been. So I suppose those factors mean that I have a different perspect…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 05:13 PM
94

I'm a Turkish woman and I'm really sorry your grandmother and family went through that. NV men are NV everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 02:01 PM
5

Who do you think has the high HV potential?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:37 AM
3

Love this energy ❤️✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 10:19 AM
6

I recently had a reunion with school mates I hadn't seen in years. One of them asked me what menopause was🤯. He's due to get married sometime next year and he has no idea what menopause is...?! The best part is when he said he didn't want to spend too much money on the wedding, but he expects his bride to buy him a Rolex watch, which he will wear instead of a wedding band 🙃🤡🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:47 AM
360

You know as awful as it is to admit this, I didn't realise just how terrible it is to be confined to your own home until having to experience lockdown myself. The Taliban were last in power when I was child and I didn't understand things then. As a grown woman now I would be absolutely dreading this change in power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:32 AM
40

I was so impressed when he started crying 😂😂😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:27 AM
1

I watched the video embedded in the article. It gave me a sense of such dread and panic. It's absolutely nightmarish stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:24 AM
11

Before the term Pick Me became mainstream the locals in my area used to call women desperate for a man's attentions a 'Beg'. Like "don't be a beg, Sally".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:05 PM
42

For real, I was like "this guy is cute" and then he started talking and I was like oooh nooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:54 PM
10

Getting a massage once a month, or once every few months when my mental health is bad is my self care strategy. Even though it's not sexual, I think the physical touch and the ability to relax and feel safe and cared for in the hands of someone else is lovely. Sometimes you need to pamper yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:03 PM
10

This is a tricky topic for me. If you had asked me ten years ago I would have said never. As I've grown older I've realised that there is a societal advantage to looking young (as sad as that is). I've thought about getting Botox for the fine lines I see developing around my eyes. It's a balancing act as where do you draw the line when makeup and hair dye and things like that are also cosmetic processes designed to enhance beauty? We talk about not dressing for the male gaze but as a (mostly) he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:43 PM
2

You're awesome. I'm very much like you. I don't even react if I hear someone tell me I can't do something. Cool cool, watch me do it before your very eyes ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:51 AM
36

Yeah like wtf? Yeah I'll love you even if you gang r*pe me babe, how romantic 🤮🤮 Wtf is wrong with these people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 08:50 PM
27

I think there is this misconception that most women want “alphas.” Not only is the “alpha” concept played out and untrue, it’s a misunderstanding of what a lot of women want. What women want is SELF SUFFICIENCY in men: emotional, physical, financial, mental. We want men who stand on their own two feet and take care of themselves. We are overburdened. We cannot take care of those who have the capacity to take care of themsleves. Nor can we partner up with them to have children, it’s just too much…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 12:57 AM
25

Yeah you have every right to be upset by the lack of common sense because it's such a rude shock to realise you're completely vulnerable and on your own and no one has taken the initiative to help you. Sending you alllll the hugs 💕💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:29 PM
88

What the actual fuck? I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Not only is there the trauma of being roofied, there is also the trauma of realising you can't rely on your friends to keep you safe. I can't believe your friends didn't have the common sense to stay with you and make sure you were ok and just chucked you in the back of a car? What if you suffocated from a lack of air??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 09:58 PM
544

"I'm looking for a man who feels comfortable being his authentic self around me." It doesn't give away any of your game, and it's a nice way to say you're looking for someone genuine but framing it as a benefit to the man since you want him to be himself. Then just sit back, and observe 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 10:15 PM
7

This has been my experience as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:40 AM
17

I hope she got a prenup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:21 PM
5

Haha I had to look it up and I was left with more questions than I had with to begin with...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:20 PM
50

This is horrifying, especially when you think about the legacy impact it has. There are still men walking around today who would have been ok with raping their wives or who grew up in households where this was the norm. These men are probably at the peaks of their careers making decisions about subordinate female workers below them; who are voting; who are shaping our cultural discussions; who are raising children and grandchildren. There are women who lived lives being raped, who live in fear a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:43 AM
23

Does anybody in the UK watch Love Island? It's fascinating to see all the dynamics from an FDS lens - most of the boys make decisions based on 'muh penis', there are a number of pick me girls and I've spotted sooo many red flags it's like a communist rally in that villa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:22 PM
1

I'm really sorry for what you went through. Sending you all the support and well wishes in the world! ❤️✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:08 AM
17

I really agree with this. I will just cry something out, deal with my emotions and then move on. I don't let it fester in me and acknowledge my emotions as they happen. I think it's healthier than bottling things up which I think is what a lot of men do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:03 PM
10

Do you have a link to it? I couldn't find it on my app store.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:58 AM
250

I work in events and I was recently visiting a hotel to look at their event space. I got there and the salesman asked me what other venues I was looking at. We usually don't disclose this information and I told him so. Over the course of the following hour he proceeded to make it so awkward, implying that I didn't trust him enough to tell him what other hotels we were looking at, trying to make me feel guilty, trying to pretend he could help me if only I told him. He kept pestering me about this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:52 AM
15

This is genius 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 02:06 AM
87

Damn, I'm so glad you were there to help her. You're badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:50 PM
3

Oh I'm Turkish so I watch it on Turkish TV 😅 I think Netflix sometimes does Turkish TV dramas with English subtitles though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 09:32 PM
5

Hahah dragonfly junior analyst 🤦🏽‍♀️ How often did this happen then? Were you working in HR?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:04 PM
2

That's interesting! I did not know Turkish TV was such a hit in SA!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 10:42 AM
3

Yeah I usually don't watch Turkish TV dramas as I just end up rolling my eyes at all the misogyny on the screen. Also, I haven't really had a chance to find good ones because the shows are on average 2 hours per episode and I just don't have that sort of time (and prefer not to spend that much time watching TV over doing other things that add value to my life). I will say though, I did really enjoy watching Muhtesem Yuzyil (Magnificent Century). Not sure how many people are HV in this show but I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 09:25 AM
10

Cool! Merhaba 😄 What made you want to learn the language?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 12:43 AM
13

Hey Lilith, are you back on Reddit?☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 09:15 PM
94

Haha Turkish TV either goes one of two ways: it either has amazing romance, beautiful love poetry (written by the man) and men with a decent amount of HV traits, or has absolutely vile scenes of normalised domestic violence, men acting like mafia bosses, threatening people with guns, and treating women as second class citizens. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:46 PM
11

This is fascinating, tell me more 😛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:31 PM
25

I saw this article this morning and hated it. He looks so ugly! She's beautiful and young and way out of his scrotey league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:27 PM
6

Absolutely this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:55 AM
28

Absolutely this. They left her out of all the activities and didn't offer to pick up the tab for any of her meals. This is such bad etiquette, it's abhorrently rude and it seems like she needs to throw the entire family away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:54 AM
6

Thanks just broke out into dance over this 😂😂🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 11:19 AM
4

This guy is so hot 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 06:23 PM
5

Damn that's so tragic 😞😟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:54 PM
9

Lol that reminds me of this dude I was once casually seeing. I only wanted to have sex and wasn't interested in pursuing anything romantic with him but he was convinced I was 'playing games'. What games dude? I don't care about you, I don't like your personality, I don't message you between hookups, just give me the dick and go. 👋😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:20 PM
5

Ah that makes more sense, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:28 PM
2

I don't know if I'm being particularly slow today (I'm running on 3 hrs of sleep please humour me), but I don't understand this? Why is it so profound?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 09:33 AM
27

I like this narrative! To be fair, JLo has never had trouble getting men. When one doesn't work out she just dumps them and moves onto the next one. I kinda like how ruthless she is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:32 PM
12

Awesome thanks so much for the write up. Have you thought about making this a separate post in itself? Or featuring on the podcast?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 10:25 PM
49

I was in a LDR for 5 years. He was insistent that we make it work after he moved from my country. I think he's always earnestly loved me but I honestly think he wasted my time. I like sex and crave intimacy and I sacrificed that for 5 years for a digital relationship. I could have been in a real, physical relationship with someone else instead. Still, I'm a very independent person and one thing I liked about being in a LDR was that I had his emotional support but I could also live my life indepe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:21 PM
26

That was pretty interesting, thanks Is there anyway we can reduce our exposure to microplastics and chemicals?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 08:17 PM
22

While I understand where you're coming from I think there is a world of difference between nudity you agree to have publicised and nudity you don't agree to have publicised. I don't think it's right that the photographer abused his power over her and profited off her image without her consent. I also feel sorry for her, she was young and sounds like she felt the need to prove herself to the photographer (and he was low key negging her and being dismissive towards her the entire time - very manip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 05:03 PM
2

Sis, I literally couldn't, I was getting second hand embarrassment from what he was saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 08:46 PM
125

I'm sorry but I really can't take the hippy dippy 'free spirit' culture of these people too seriously. They all seem like walking clichés to me. They all seem LV 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:13 PM
21

I think it's that she's wearing blue contacts and it gives her an 'Artificial Intelligence' kinda vibe as her eyes don't reflect light in the way that real eye colour does. Also, because of the contacts, I think her pupils are the wrong size for the amount of light in the video and it feels instinctively 'off'. That's my theory, I'd be very surprised if those were her real eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:26 PM
11

Can we also just acknowledge the fact that boys and men should already know sexually assaulting a woman is bad? Like it's not fucking rocket science, they don't need to be taught anything, they already know and some of them get pleasure from making a woman uncomfortable. Saying they need to be taught better infantilises them and puts the onus on women to teach them better. Don't get me wrong, I understand if we're dealing with a child but once they grow up they should face consequences. They won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:13 PM
72

I didn't even feel like she was acting during her speech. She was just telling it how it is and it was heartbreaking to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:22 PM
9

Omg I burst out laughing 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:28 AM
312

Yeah literally. Why don't they ask the men to care for the elderly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:42 AM
2

Can you ELI5 this for me please? What does that mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:26 PM
36

I've got a friend who says this. He keeps saying he can't find a good woman. But what is his dating strategy? He falls in lust with any woman who will give him attention. He does this before even getting to know them to see if they're serious about him and whether they are aligned on relationship values. He's got mummy issues so he has an anxious attachment style and loves to pursue emotionally unavailable women. And then when it all blows up in his face, as he got invested before he vetted thes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:37 PM
12

So what's funny is that I accidentally stumbled upon that sub thinking I had gone into the real FDS. I started reading the first post which was about how 'Male suicide is misogyny' and I found the content so toxic I was ready to call out OP for posting things that were unrepresentative of FDS. Then I realised it was a parody sub and I was amused. Point being, it's ironic when the stuff they're parodying us over is content that would never actually be posted here 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:30 PM
1

I'm not sure what it is about him but I find him really attractive in an unconventional way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:20 PM
10

Mhm he's so tasty. As an aside, I really miss being able to holiday in Europe shakes fist angrily at the pandemic 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:16 PM
35

You've definitely summarised my experiences with women, especially EAs/ PAs/ Secretaries. I can never get on with them because they bond over their insecurities, diet regimes, bad luck with men, desperation to find a man, or (if they are in a relationship) how badly their partner treats them. It's all a bit of a club with a performative element of 'look at how much I choose to have to suffer, aren't men big children? Lol I love hubby but he's useless around the house. I have to do EvEryThinG whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:50 PM
8

Hello, fellow Turkish woman here. If other Turkish women are willing to help, maybe we could try translating some of the handbook. If everyone took on a small section it could be feasible. My Turkish is not amazing (I can speak fluently but would need someone to check my written translations) so working as a team would help. It would take some time but Turkish culture is so misogynistic they need a bit of FDS there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:27 AM
5

I haaaaate pet names from people I don't know. Just yesterday a woman at work, who I didn't know, called me 'hunny'. I thought it was entirely unprofessional, given that was only the second sentence she ever said to me and it felt incredibly patronising. I don't mind if people I know and am friends with call me pet names, but that's usually when such things feel comfortable and not patronising. I doubly hate it when men call me pet names. It's so icky and patronising and overfamiliar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:56 AM
67

I actually came to this conclusion too. To these men, their 'Sexual Market Value' supposedly peaks in their 40s and 50s when they're earning the most money. This means that they think their wealth is one of the biggest contributing factors to their attractiveness when they're older. For this to work, however, they need to be earning significantly more than women. This whole framework crumbles when women come in and outcompete men, and when women become financially secure and empowered in their o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:51 PM
52

My friend once said something that's really stuck with me. She said, "My sister said there always comes a time in a woman's life wher she has to choose between being liked or being respected." Her sister is a black COO of a top finance firm by the way, so I think she knows what she's talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:29 PM
24

Lol I feel your pain girl. Jeans end up being either too tight or too loose around my waist. I also hate shopping because I've got an hourglass figure but I'm also petite at 5 ft2 so most things are too big or tall on me by default. The amount of money I've spent getting my clothes tailored...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:22 PM
36

Can't believe they wouldn't show you pictures before hand? It's not like they can hide if they're unattractive when you met them...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:46 PM
18

I agree with this. I don't want a ho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:23 PM
49

This is what I noticed too and I was immediately pissed off with the problematic wording 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:21 PM
65

I think this also applies to the initial dating stages as well. If he doesn't make you feel good, if it doesn't feel comfortable, if you feel insecure around him or uncomfortable or just 'off' in whatever way, then seriously considering whether it's worth pursuing things with him. Yes the initial stages of dating can be a bit awkward as you get to know each other but I think most people know pretty quickly whether that person feels 'right'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:40 PM
91

I suspect that in this instance she's actually in shock and probably suffering some sort of PTSD. I think the cognitive dissonance is helping her to 'cope'. She sounds like she's in a super fragile state I hope she can get some help I feel so bad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:06 AM
57

Yes I'm 29 now and I feel like I am just blossoming into a full human being. I actually have younger men showing interest in me. I also look younger than some of these younger men lol. I have older men showing interest in me too, however, they are the worst LV, wife-is-divorcing-me types. Honestly, I'd just like an age appropriate man who looks good for his age and is my mental, spiritual and emotional equal. However, I'm somewhat scared of losing my independence too and so I'm not that fussed a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:46 PM
58

What the fuck, I'm sorry you went through that 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:22 AM
62

I actually met her (Laura Bates) once. She was doing a talk in my city and I went to see it and met her after. She's the one who started the Everyday Sexism Project. If you don't know, it's a site where anybody can go and post about their experience of sexism. It was probably one of the first digital media campaigns that shocked people by blowing the lid off of just how much sexism women have to endure. This was way before things like #MeToo. I remember posting on it as a teenager. Glad to see s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:46 PM
21

"Their red flags fly in the wind of your desperate nation" 🚩🚩🚩 Lovely poem, thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:48 PM
24

Right?! I'd happily watch a buff man going down on a woman and servicing her needs for hours (it's almost impossible to find this kind of porn by the way as it's all shot from and for the male gaze).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:44 PM
42

Same. Just yesterday I was at a drinks reception where there was a man who I know is interested in me. We were chatting in different groups and the pick me part of my brain was tempted to go and join his group and say hi to him. And then I thought "well if he wanted to join my group to talk to me he would" and he didn't so I left later without talking to him and not thinking too much about it. I feel like it saved me wasted energy and saved me from overextending myself for a man who wasn't showi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:16 PM
3

Haha, in the words of Lilith, they can "Die mad!!" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:12 AM
13

Yeah or what about guys who assume they have consent instead of actually, I dunno, umm...asking you for consent? I once went on a date and the guy asked me what I liked in bed. So I told him and his words were "yeah I'll do that to you". It wasn't a sexy offer of "I'll happily do that to you" but like it was something that would be done TO me, as if I were being dominated by him. At the time I couldn't verbalise it but it made me feel deeply uncomfortable, as not only was I being treated as a pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:07 AM
37

She sounds suuuuuupperr naive, like girl, don't get yourself nominated for the Darwin award by interacting with this guy, please! 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:56 PM
29

Jesus that's fucking horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:55 PM
2

Haha preach it girl! And no need to apologise for the long post. I mean, where else can I speak to like-minded women and have meaningful, intelligent conversations? I feel like FDS is one of the few philosophies that allows us to understand the world critically. For me the LV and HV distinctions transcend beyond the dating scene and are applicable to so many other situations. It's nice to be able to discuss it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:07 PM
3

Yeah I see what you mean. I've also thought about how hypocritical I am as a consumer while criticising the system that we live in. But I don't think I have THAT much choice, the structural reality of capitalism and the world doesn't allow for alternative narratives except in the weakest sense. For example, I could (and do try to) recycle, shop ethically, donate to charity and generally do things that'll help. However, I'm also aware that as an individual my ability to change things is small to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:41 PM
5

Yes exactly sis, you expressed my thoughts in a much better way. It's all directly linked to the male desire to dominate everything and to exploit things for personal gain. It's the result of thousands of years of toxic male hypercompetition to secure more resources and wealth (and mates) than any one person needs. It's fucking tragic. I didn't quite understand your last point about women buying things to deal with trauma - what do you mean by that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:15 PM
7

That is a brilliant question that I'm tucking away for later use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:48 PM
37

That's hot* (*Even though it should be considered the bare minimum 😭😭😭)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:43 PM
30

Listening to your body is so important, honestly. Sometimes your body knows better than your conscious mind as to whether a man is a good fit for you, biologically. We are animals at the end of the day and I do think we have instincts about who would make a good mate, even if we try to surpress those instincts away due to patriarchal conditioning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:37 PM
27

Honestly, sometimes it makes me so angry that we are literally destroying the planet, heading towards millions of people and animals dying, and have very little chance of changing course because on the whole we are all ruled by extremely NV/LV male politicians. If they wanted a better world they would have made changes already (if he wanted to he would). I just don't think climate change would have gotten to this point if women were in charge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:17 PM
52

Have you watched the video on the trope of women being 'Born Sexy Yesterday'? https://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:04 PM
8

I've realised that so many women are so insecure that they find a confident woman offensively arrogant, even if she is just expressing (what should be) normal and healthy levels of self worth and confidence. As a woman you're always expected to underplay your abilities, your looks, your (insert whatever good thing here) because it's taboo to actually just own it and be proud of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:01 PM
21

🤢🤢 These stats are awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:45 AM
7

Wtf did I just read. Japan gets a pass in Western society and media because men control the media and from their perspectives Japan is this wonderland of technological advancement and subordinate women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:21 AM
7

I'm in total agreement with you 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:11 AM
2

Thank you, I'll check these out 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:05 AM
3

Yeah I decided that dating apps were low value technologies. I hate things that take up too much time in an unproductive way and the experience of spending ages swiping a tonne of LV profiles was one I am not eager to repeat in a hurry. The men were always a disappointment and I would much rather take the time used on swiping and put it into time invested into myself and my own personal growth. If I meet someone organically that'll be cool but I'm currently taking a (probably permanent) break fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:57 PM
10

Bang on. They've had their mommy, personal assistant bangmaids for centuries. They've prevented women from getting an education and entering the workforce for centuries. They've left women do to a disproportionate amount of childcare for centuries. Of course men have had the time to dedicate themselves to their interests and careers. There's been a woman taking care of everything else for them! Now imagine if women had had the same luxuries throughout history. Imagine all the amazingly intellige…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:04 PM
2

Any techno music recommendations? 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:12 AM
1

Thanks I'll check it out! Love me some new recommendations 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:09 AM
78

Yeah I've been getting into 90s alt-rock like Nine Inch Nails. I have to shut off my FDS brain when I listen to some of these lyrics because I love the music but hate some of the lyrical subject matter. I've also realised that most of my favourite 90s rock bands are comprised of men who are the definition of hyper LV/NV men (for drug addiction, promiscuous sex, paying for prostitutes and various other questionable behaviours), and whose popularity stems from the fact that they represent the LV d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:11 PM
7

Oh seriously? Yeah that's fucking weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:50 PM
27

I recently rewatched the series as an adult and I was shocked at how toxic all the men and relationships were on the show! Xander was insufferable, I never liked Angel even when I was a kid because he was so flat, boring and mopey, and the pedophilic "I fell in love with you when you were aged 2" story arc was so weird. I still enjoyed watching Spike, however, he was also tooooxiccc and I put my enjoyment of watching him down to the fact that James Marsden did such a good job of portraying him a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:48 PM
17

I also find Will Ferrell annoying so I get what you mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:33 PM
210

This is so true. FFS. ARGH THIS IS SO TRUE 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:23 PM
147

Lol, yes I would also like to thank this 'toxic echo chamber' for such toxic activities like...(checks notes)...helping to keep me safe, helping me to avoid abusers and to work on bettering myself emotionally and financially. Soo toxic. 😬😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:32 PM
5

Haha that's a good idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:13 PM
106

Haha not many comedy films make me laugh but this was on point 😂. Would you recommend watching the whole movie?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:26 PM
5

Yeah that's nasty 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:46 PM
72

I also think that some men use "strong woman" as codeword for "she's so strong because she puts up with me cheating and lying to her. She puts up with my abuse and I like that. She's soo strong, she's amazing! 😍😍" 🤮🤮 The other variation of this ideal of the strong woman is one where she makes most of the money in the relationship, pays 50% (and more) of everything, looks after the kids 90% of the time, does all the emotional and mental labour, basically takes on ALL the responsibility while he c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:22 PM
41

Absolutely! It totally is bait to lure insecure women/ pick mes into an abusive relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:24 AM
99

Men dating older women- they're looking for a mom. You've just made me realise that a friend I have, who is 21 (I'm 29) constantly comes to me for reassurance about his bad dating life (he always goes for emotionally unavailable women and has a history of dating older women too). He had an absent mother and I've just realised he sees me as an older, wiser, mother type figure that he also happens to be attracted to. He would totally date me if I let him, of course I'm not touching that with a bar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:17 AM
227

"I'm looking for a woman who allows herself to be imperfect." FDS translates: I'm looking for a woman who is insecure and who I will make more insecure, and whose insecurities I will exploit in an abusive way 🚩🚩 Like, for context, I would never say to a man, "I'm looking for a man who allows himself to be imperfect." What kind of shit is that? I'd rather look for a man who works to improve himself and level up across his life, and genuinely puts the work in. What this OLD dude is asking for make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:04 AM
10

Haha me too ♒😂😂😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:56 AM
26

Just had to discuss a conversation I had with two co-workers (let's call them Abby and Sarah) who are living in pickme hell. Abby: Is 30 and dating a man 17 years her senior 🚩 who has 3 kids from a previous marriage 🚩. She has recently moved in with him, but his kids visit every weekend so she never gets the weekends to herself as she's always having to look after his kids 🚩. The kids are homeschooled by their mother and are falling behind in basic literacy and math 🚩. Their father doesn't use t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:13 AM
42

Ex not being able to do the bare minimum around the house: the cooking, cleaning, house admin, planning and all mental labour was becoming my responsibility. It turned me off as soon as I realised I was starting to feel like his mother and I ended things with him. Before that he had been more active around the house and would clean. I realised he was showing his true self by expecting me to be his mommy bangmaid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:34 AM
189

I felt like the hen was being catcalled by the peacock and doing the 'trying my best to ignore him' casual walk away, but he wouldn't let her lol. Poor hen, I feel like I relate to this on a spiritual level. 😭😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:58 PM
52

Lol I'm imagine this now: you with a blank eyed stare hearing it repeating in your head like, "kind of...Kind Of...KIND OF..." while everything else around you goes quiet, and his lips flap silently as he most probably talks about what a 'nice guy' he is, but you can't hear it. The only thing you can hear is the echoing in your head and rumbling sound of your nether regions drying up like the Sahara, like the sound of a fast retreating waterfall moving in reverse. That was fun to write out, did …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:19 AM
9

Just want to echo my other sisters in sending you love and support❤️. It may be difficult in the short term but you've got this girl 💪. Your long term outlook, health and happiness are what's important👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:08 AM
8

Lol! Ooh noo low intelligence is a turn off for me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:32 PM
5

Omg he looks so much like my ex lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:20 PM
5

Sup sup! 🇹🇷🇹🇷❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:19 PM
4

I'll take one chad to go please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:17 PM
55

Ooof. I'd be so shy, I couldn't make eye contact with him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:15 PM
15

I've never been a sex worker but I wanted to send you support and to say I hope you find your happiness in life ✨❤️ you've got this 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:33 PM
8

Thanks for sharing this, it's very interesting to read and to learn more about the challenges that homeless people face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:24 PM
3

It's so wholesome 😭😭❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:04 PM
18

Yeah absolutely. The way she was tying herself into knots and looking like a pick-me pretzel while talking about what a Cool Girl™️ she is, and how unmaterialistic she is and what a gold digging whore this TikToker must be was alarming to watch. It was like watching an oppressed person rationalise away their oppression and laud their oppression in real time. And I can see Cenk sitting there watching this whole thing unfold and not saying anything to the contrary because he realises it benefits h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:03 PM
6

I think a lesser talked about red flag 🚩🚩🚩 regarding this is that any man who thinks a nature trail or a hike is an appropriate first date is a man who clearly has NO emotional intelligence or empathy on the dangers that women face from men on the regular - and ladies, we don't need to date men who are so blind to the patriarchy (and additionally cheap to boot) that he would never have the social awareness to take into consideration your comfort levels or safety 👎👎👎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:01 AM
3

Ahahah not the field 😂🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:55 PM
9

I low key love this super niche conversation you guys are having about horses 😁🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:35 PM
21

Xander is a LV/NV man who was so annoying and sometimes openly sexist on on the show. I hated his character at times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:08 PM
62

He's one of those people I would feel nothing for if he did what he said he was thinking of and he killed himself. Okay, bye, one less trash abuser in the world 👋 Realistically though he's probably only saying he's suicidal to get attention and have people comfort him. Like no, fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:03 PM
15

I read the article and did anybody else catch this section? 😱 In a 2019 survey by ProPublica and Columbia Journalism Investigations of 1,200 women who said they had used an online dating platform in the past 15 years, “more than a third of the women said they were sexually assaulted by someone they had met through a dating app” and “[o]f these women, more than half said they were raped”. These are astronomical figures, and yet somehow still largely left out of the online dating conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:45 PM
31

This is exactly, EXACTLY, my thought process. I dabbled in some modelling when I was younger and was consistently surrounded by women who were stunning and some were more attractive than me. I don't say that to disparage myself as I'm comfortable in who I am. I found that so many of those girls were so insecure and self conscious, it was very saddening to see. Some men would exploit that to their advantage. I realised my own sense of self worth and sense of comfort and happiness in my body were …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 08:21 PM
20

He can compliment people as his current self. He just feels like he can't because he doesn't have the adequate social skills to do so without coming across as weird or creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:18 PM
5

Not gonna lie I am enjoying the thought experiment of my sexuality being catered to as if I were a LVM being shown scantily clad women. Let me just sit back and enjoy the posts of buff men. Let me use my female gaze to view attractive men. I've had years of pick me practice catering to the male gaze, so I'm happy for the roles to be reversed where, for once, I am now the consumer, instead of being the sexually consumed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:29 AM
9

Lol my ex was into the idea of me calling him daddy even though I was NOT 🙅‍♀️into it and refused to do so. In hindsight it was probably because it made him feel important and he was quite insecure. On the flip side I would balk if a man called me 'mummy' 🤢 or called me something like 'master'. Like, I don't need to feel like I'm superior to my partner, I don't need him to be a peg below me or subjugated in the hierarchy of our relationship. Let us be equal and not refer to each other using ince…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:22 AM
5

LOL absolutely Queen!👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:27 PM
25

Oh hello fellow Turkish people 👋 Glad to see you here, bayraminiz kutlu olsun 😂🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:19 PM
22

True story, I met him once. I went to a showing of Tree which was a play he was starring in. It was an interactive play where the cast were mingling with the crowd while a DJ was playing music. My friend went to school with him so he must have recognised her and he pulled us both on to the 'dance floor' and we all started dancing to the afrobeats they were playing. It was pretty cool. My friend was gushing about it after saying 'omg he came and danced with me'. I was like yeah it was pretty cool…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:55 PM
28

This had me cracking up 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:51 PM
1

Thanks. It makes sense that you would have seen the behind the scenes discussions! I can only imagine what you must have been privy to 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:56 AM
1

Do you mind me asking what professional sector you had a career in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:12 PM
8

❤️❤️🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:37 AM
71

Absolutely this. I want a man who can actually cook so that all the cooking (which, by the way, I can do very well) isn't automatically relegated to being my 'responsibility' every single fucking day 🤦🏽‍♀️. I do not want to be someone's maid, he needs to be able to cook for me when I don't want to cook because being able to cook, and cook healthy meals, is the bare minimum and what normally functioning adults do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:50 PM
22

That's disgusting. I live in Britain and this is incredibly disheartening to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:50 PM
6

You did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:02 PM
1

Yeah it's super fucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:23 PM
4

Female infanticide is a big issue in India.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 11:24 AM
6

Wise words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:42 AM
53

Preach. I became a teen in the 2000s and even then I rarely shaved my legs and underarms, I didn't wear makeup. Admittedly I was into radical feminism at age 14 so I was not interested in bending over backwards for conventional beauty, but even then the boys were attracted to me and accepted me as is. I think a lot of my long lasting body confidence comes from the fact that I accepted who I was and men could either take it or leave it. I wasn't interested in making myself attractive for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:28 PM
22

Preach, sis. I used to be with a guy who I appreciated because he would take on board my complaints and change his behaviour. Sounds good right? Only it was me coaching him to develop basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, updating his CV to apply for jobs, doing exercise, eating healthy (and not processed) foods and even fucking brushing his teeth 🤮. I mean...yes I appreciated him being willing to change and he did make an effort but it got to a point where I was so emotionally exhausted and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:45 AM
26

I know exactly what you mean. I dumb fox a lot of situations and don't let the extent of my political/ feminist opinions be known. I may sprinkle tiny bits of ✨FDS ✨ here and there to women who I think may be receptive. But to men I remain neutral and let them show me their characters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:14 AM
12

I've actually heard from people living in Dublin that there is a real youth gang problem there and that these youths go around terrorising and mugging who they can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:18 PM
6

This!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:13 PM
89

So sorry you went through that ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:02 PM
17

Which is annoying because as a single woman I now have to wade through even more LV men who have recently become single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:54 PM
4

Thanks! After a bit of fiddling around I managed to get it to work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:33 AM
8

Interesting, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:25 PM
6

Yikes, thanks for highlighting that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:31 PM
7

While I agree that many high earning career women can have careers by paying for nannies and cooks, I really disagree that (perhaps incorrectly, someone tell me if I'm wrong) that nannies and childcare providers are underpaid. In my country at least (UK) the cost of childcare is extortionate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:05 PM
61

Literally! If we can feel pain when something hits our cervix, we can feel pleasure when something stimulates the surrounding area in a good way. Obviously all women are different but I hate it when women are like 'Oh don't worry about your small penis, women can only feel things at the EnTrAnCe.' That's clearly not true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:27 PM
17

@ Mods - I've just signed up to the patreon but I'm having trouble listening to the bonus content. Could you please give me instructions on how to do this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:31 PM
92

This episode was hilarious. "It was like a door handle" 👀☠️😂😂 I've had a crygasm before. They're great orgasms where I feel like I just release allll the stress and any emotions I've been storing up from like...work or life in general. Like, the orgasm is a catalyst for physical and emotional release. These crygasms usually happened with a partner who cared about my sexual pleasure and who would cuddle me after I came and was crying. He also had a girthy, 8 inch dick which felt so good inside as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:09 PM
8

Queen 👑 Love to hear it 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:36 AM
53

This. It's so painful to lose a friend I thought I knew 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:02 PM
111

🤯 Ladies, you have blown my mind today ❤️ And this also explains the disconnect between why I really, really crave sex (and intimacy), but have no desire to have one night stands. Because it's not what I think of as good, safe, sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:00 PM
10

I don't know what others think but I feel like there is a bit of a conflict inherent in wanting to rescue as many women as possible and also having a strategy that is effective because most men haven't yet discovered how we vet and what our strategies are. I really want to help as many women as possible but I also think FDS is most effective when it's discovered organically and a woman is ready to absorb the information. I don't have enough faith in society and pick me culture to believe that if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:34 PM
22

I don’t follow pop culture or television or movie stars or musicians. Their lives are so far removed from reality that I find nothing in common with them. I have more in common with the Roman Emperors than I do with current culture... (👸🏻) Haha! Is that you making a joke about having a Roman nose? Either way you're a queen 🥳👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:45 AM
3

Sounds like a nauseating dynamic! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:31 AM
1

Sounds like a nauseating dynamic! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:30 AM
2

To be honest, after almost two decades of internalised pickmeism and trying to prove that I wasn't "superficial" by dating unattractive men who had nice (but ultimately still LV) personalities, I'm only just learning to make my own sexual desires a priority and figuring out what I find attractive in a man. I realised I couldn't be in long term sexual relationships with men I didn't find physically attractive and I've never been with a man I 100% found attractive in both looks and personality. So…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:43 PM
2

Are you lonely because we're in a pandemic? LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:28 PM
4

Functionally fit! That's the term I've been looking for! Like you, I don't like guys who are super into gym bro bodies. I think there's a certain level of narcissism and toxic masculinity around gym bros like that. But that doesn't mean I don't like a muscley man, but I prefer a man who is, like you said, functionally fit and may even have a healthy amount of body fat (vs. gym bros who have like 0% body fat and it looks so unnatural to me). Emphasis on the healthy body fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:22 PM
48

Hey girl, I'm also a Muslim woman and from a culture where most people are married before 30. Luckily I have never been pressured by my parents to marry. My mum actually says "You don't have to get married and have kids in this day and age, don't feel bad about it at all" and my dad says "there are not enough quality men about for a girl like you" lol. I just wanted to share that to show that there are other Muslim women and men that are FDS minded and you're not alone. I think your decision is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:22 PM
35

I think sex has the potential to be vibrant, spiritual and deeply emotional for women. I think the best type of sex, where you're having multiple orgasms and have amazing intimacy, has the ability to go beyond the basic function of 'having sex' to instead, having an almost religious experience. Some of the best sex I've had nourished my body and soul. When I was close to orgasming I would have cool visual and auditory hallucinations and I felt sex tapped into a primal, deeply female part of my b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:27 PM
142

Lol! Back in my casual sex days I had a fling with a guy who was perfect casual sex material because he was physically attractive with a big D but had the most boring personality. I just couldn't get invested in him. It was better when he didn't speak. I'd fuck him, have an orgasm and leave. Only spoke to him when I wanted sex, we didn't maintain a friendship outside of the casual sex arrangement lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:09 PM
11

Venom by Little Simz.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:57 AM
4

I hear you girl, I hear you. When I was younger I'd romanticise and lust after older, powerful men. I grew up poor and had internalised the idea that using my sexuality towards older men would help me get ahead in life. That they would help me out, possibly even provide for me. Then I met men like that who were LV and did nothing to help me in business, and were romantically toxic. Luckily, I realised what a bad situation it was before I got too sucked in and had the epiphany that there is no sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 10:56 AM
3

Haha yes!! I was just sitting there rolling my eyes SO hard when he was talking about his 'difficult past' and how hard he's had it 🥺🥺🥺 Like bitch shut up ✋ I have no time for men who spill all their trauma to a girl just to get her feeling sorry for him and bonded with him. I ain't your momma, I ain't your therapist 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 10:39 AM
39

I also watched Shadow and Bone and had to take my younger sister aside to tell her that the way they depict the relationship between Alina and the Darkling is not ok and that it was a creepy dynamic. I found their kissing scenes soo awkward anyway as Ben Barnes is like 39 in real life and Jessie Mei Li is 25. They look years apart on screen and don't look like a good couple at all! I'm glad they made her realise that he was an abusive asshole in the end. On the flip side I thought Mal was pretty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:23 AM
25

Lol are you a social scientist/ anthropologist? This was fascinating to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:30 PM
10

I love giving smiley sarcastic responses. You can call them out on their shit while making it sound jokey so it doesn't escalate, and I've found a lot of men respect me more for just being utterly sarcastic and giving them a bit of banter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:50 PM
46

I like her reply lol. That dude is on one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:45 PM
20

Can we stop incentivising men to do basic housework by offering them sex? Like he should be doing that shit naturally, because he is a responsible adult and is a member of the household. It's so nauseating when so called 'ally' men (and women) say things like "you know what turns women on? If you do the dishes." Because that only teaches men to do 'nice' things (which are basic fucking responsibilities anyway) when he has an agenda and something to gain from it. Well that's an exhausting dynamic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:56 PM
8

Wow interesting food for thought. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:34 PM
116

I saw this and felt nauseous. My breakfast has been ruined. My innocence destroyed. My eyes tormented. My soul shooketh. My need for a shower increasethd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 11:10 AM
11

the coterie of scrotery You win the internet today 😂😂😂🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:11 PM
5

Yeah absolutely. The struggle is real!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:10 PM
13

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:51 AM
44

It's funny because I'm close to turning 30 and never before have I had so much attention from men in their early 20s. For the record, I also look very young for my age (people frequently mistake me for a young girl) but I think men sense my maturity and it's like crack to them when it's in a young body. The younger men I know respect me and treat me really well. They respect my wisdom from my life experiences (I don't hide my age so they know I'm older). I've never dated people younger than me, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:47 AM
53

On a side note, I want to say I love how you used emojis showing multiple skintones/ ethnicities to represent FDS ☺️💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:27 AM
41

What's Grey Rock?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:32 AM
36

I second that! Me tooo!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:31 AM
43

It's so reassuring, refreshing and wholesome to see guys like this exist and also speak out on public platforms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:09 PM
3

Wow amazing. How did you strategise and employ the tactics of war to get out of that situation? Also kudos to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:20 PM
5

Currently reading this book and it's immediately what I thought of when I read OP's post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:17 PM
52

Also, pubs are like a mans bedroom. You aren't sure when he last vacuumed, and there is piss on the floor. Why is this so accurate 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:01 AM
174

Him: “you SURE?” "Oh I'm sorry, I meant my bedroom is this way." /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:48 AM
3

Uhm no? Nobody spits on my vagina. Or any other body part for that matter. Is this dude a frickin lama?? Ahahahhhaahaha got me cracking up over here 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:43 AM
32

Damn. I'm in the UK and we have our problems with racism but nothing as extreme as in the US (or at least that I'm aware of given that I'm not black). However when I hear things like "our black sons are taught to protect our black daughters, especially from the police" I'm shocked and saddened that this knowledge is passed down from parents to children as a defence against systemic racism. Fucking hell, fuck the system. Having heard of black men preferring not to date black women, I also wonder …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:33 AM
11

This is true but we should also add that we should not aim to be pickmes for boys even if we think they are high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:45 AM
15

Noam Chomsky is anti porn and would be a rad guest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 05:07 AM
17

My ex would brag to our mutual friends that I had the "perfect skinny thicc body" and that I was so hot etc., which I thought was flattering at the time but now I cringe at how objectifying it was. It's nice to be complimented of course, but he could have done it in a more tactful, gentlemanly manner like "she's so beautiful" not literally listing every single physical trait he enjoyed showing off about. He also used to brag about what a big dick he had. He did have a big dick but I realise now …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:05 PM
2

Thanks for the recommendations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:04 PM
10

Lol!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:51 AM
25

Yep. My ex was like this. I sometimes think that if you never experience hardship and struggle, you'll never gain the resilience to persevere for ✨goals✨. My POC, poor upbringing makes me so much more determined but I never saw that determination in my comfortably middle class, white ex. That's why women work so much harder and are smashing it in the education system in certain countries, and men, who have had it on easy mode, are throwing their toys out of the pram because they've never experie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:45 AM
2

What podcasts were you listening to? Do you have any recommendations?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:35 AM
1

That's fucked up. How can you copyright an image? Is this a US thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:34 AM
3

Sameee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:17 AM
2

For me, I was already skeptical of her judgement when I saw she had used white text on a white background lol 🤦🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:39 AM
143

I fucking hate how scared men are to confront other men in situations like these. Bruh where does your loyalty lie? Stop being so pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:47 PM
20

It's the same thing in my culture. A woman only refers to herself as a 'woman' and not a 'girl' if she's had sex. And usually the implication is that you're married if you've had sex and are now a woman. English is my second language and I once accidentally called myself a woman instead of a girl in my native tongue. I got quickly reprimanded by my mother because I was a teenager and a virgin at the time. As if being referred to as sexually active woman was a shameful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:06 PM
18

Do you remember in the early 2000s the emo boys were a thing and they would paint their nails and have piecings too? The older I get the more I see history repeats itself 🥱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:59 PM
23

Ngl this is awful but I chuckled at 'Russian puppy farm'. That's so oddly specific lol 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:07 PM
23

I totally agree and have thought about this myself. If a gay man is sexually violent and predatory towards other men, then men know they would have less ability to fight them off because they are dealing with a man. Suddenly they're afraid because their strength may not be enough to fight off someone who is attacking them. Well isn't that what women are afraid of experiencing every day? (For the record, I'm not saying gay men are sexually violent or predatory, it is just an example.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:48 AM
4

In my head cannon some men who are not outright LVM but not HVM either are MVM (Medium Value Men). These men are people who are nice enough to be friends with but who have disqualifying factors for relationship worthiness (i.e. they're not attractive to me, not in a good career, are maybe tight with money, maybe there's some aspect of their personality I don't like but it doesn't outweigh the aspects that I do like for us to be friends etc.). These men are men who are nice to me as friends, who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:59 AM
49

Preach it, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:10 PM
75

Oh god I hate the ones who narrate the experience! Just shut up lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:20 PM
9

If it's not too personal a question, could you please elaborate on what kind of creative stuff he does? I'm trying to detox from my own kink preferences and it would be good to learn more about how 'vanilla' people keep things fresh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 06:37 PM
3

Absolutely. He's still assuming he's 'helping' her instead of assuming the responsibility as his and taking the initiative to fold the fucking laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:53 AM
5

Thank you to /u/sadsarahh for my first silver medal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:48 PM
49

Ding ding ding, we have a winner! 🏆 I read that too and I was like 'sooo...you do sweet fuck all then?' What a man baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:31 PM
20

Haha stooooppp lmao I feel so grossed out already. Why are you so accurate 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:28 PM
8

Yup. My first reaction to seeing his post was literally to say, 'This guy is a fucking idiot.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:46 PM
46

This is cool and all but he reminds me of Doc Antle from Tiger King 😂😂. Don't trust these dudes 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:34 PM
13

Preach it sis 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:20 PM
37

Hahah makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time ☠️🙃😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:00 PM
93

I would also like to get awards and hundreds of people praising me for inconsistently folding laundry every now and then. I am tempted to make another Reddit account and pose as a man to experience this level of genuine admiration. Man, being a woman gets you no praise, I wish I had been born a mediocre man so I could get twice the praise for not even doing half the work!! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:58 AM
198

Lol ☠️ Reminds me of all the men who praise Jordan Peterson for giving them the motivation to make their beds in the morning and how he 'cured their depression' by motivating them to do the bare minimum. Like, ok🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:46 AM
2

The 80/20 rule at it again, except this time it's coming for hairlines 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:35 AM
133

It's elementary, dear Watson. No really, an elementary child would have had the emotional intelligence to understand something as basic as this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:31 AM
20

Do you remember that one post where the LV man was writing to a woman telling her he thought about her and wanted to see her again etc etc. And then finished his message with calling her 'fuckface'? Yeah same LV energy ✨😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:26 AM
13

Yaayy I can't wait to listen. I wish there was a backlog of more episodes I could indulge myself in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:16 AM
32

Whaaat. That's wild 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:08 AM
7

Not only that his entire aura feels creepy and predatory and just...unclean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:50 AM
2

Haha to be honest I joke about the hate for France, and I'm also saddened to hear you witnessed so much of it! I always thought it was a friendly bit of banter between the two countries and not actually hate. Anyway, if it wasn't clear enough, I don't hate French people lol. I really miss going on holiday to continental Europe. I've been lucky enough to travel to Paris and to the south of France a number of times. I loved seeing Nice and Eze. Absolutely stunning coastline. There is so much more …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:43 PM
11

This dude gives me the 'ICK' vibes. Do you know the 'ICK' vibes? If you don't then just watch this video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:50 PM
5

Absolutely this, I wanted to vom 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:49 PM
12

I love learning about these cultural differences, thanks for sharing. Older European women also seem so much more poised, confident and elegant. From your 'frenemy', someone in England (LOL) 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:42 PM
14

When I was younger I really wanted to minimise my presence. I hated getting attention from men, I hated feeling objectified and preyed upon. I hated the idea of being groped or molested and to be honest I still, naturally, hate ALL of those things. However, in recent years I've come into my own and have become more confident, more comfortable with brushing off men's lustful energies and more confident standing up for myself against any type of harassment. I now dress as sexy as I want or as low …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:01 PM
12

Absolutely. It's happens with every social/ civil rights movement that wants to enfranchise a previously disenfranchised group of people. They try to subvert the meaning, the message and the movement to make it unpopular, change the language around it, or morph it into a more watered down, less effective version of itself (like how liberal feminism is now straight up garbage and is helping the patriarchy out). We really have to watch this space and be wary of the cultural war that inevitably alw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:56 AM
60

Not only that but when (most) women cannot inevitably overpower a man in a test of strengths, it becomes another way for patriarchy to undermine feminism. "Ha look at this feminist, she thought she was equally strong, see feminism is a lie, and these weak females are our subordinates."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 08:53 PM
5

😂😂 That song is still a banger but now it's like "Jolene come take my man, thanks for taking the trash out with you" 🗑️😂👋 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 08:23 PM
6

Crabs in a bucket lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:28 PM
45

Anybody else feel that pickmes resent/ hate you for the mere fact that you're happy? I'm a bubbly, friendly person and a lot of people tell me I'm charming. However, there are always some women who seem to silently judge me for being who I am. I don't think I say or do anything offensive, I don't talk about controversial topics or speak badly of other people (even when someone wants me to engage). I just seem to alienate certain types of women who seem to find my mere presence irritating. I'm wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:39 PM
6

Yep this is what some Muslim men do to sleep with prostitutes without sinning lol. They perform the religious ceremony, take the prostitute as a wife for the night (or for however long) and then when he no longer wants to see her he divorces her. In Islam, you are divorced if a man repeats that they are divorced three times. So it's as easy as that. And you avoid 'sinning'. Apparently in the eyes of God you're not trash if you do that 😂 It's basically a big fucking joke lol. Source: grew up in a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:37 PM
46

Fucking hell. The police came round to your house and told you not to make them look bad?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:51 PM
12

I can't believe what an understudied topic this is. It's mind boggling that more work hasn't been done on it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:20 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:03 PM
12

Awesome! Can you recommend these other podcasts? I need more HV content in my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:53 AM
6

I feel so sad for the victims of FGM where they have the clit cut off and their labia sewn shut. Like you can never have sex that is to your fullest, 100% enjoyment. You can probably never orgasm or have enough clitoral stimulation to be aroused and wet. All sex must be painful. I remember reading an article where - AWFUL CONTENT WARNING - upon getting married with the woman, the man would have to prove his 'manlihood' by using his penis as a 'knife' (exact metaphor they used) and forcing the wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:41 PM
4

Are you me? Because I also did Anth and couldn't take it seriously enough to pursue it as a career. I learned some very cool things during my degree but cultural relativism would have you sitting on your hands saying "Everything is fine" as the world burns around you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:19 PM
42

I've got black female friends who I went to school with and have known for over ten years. I grew up in a very multicultural neighborhood and I staunchly believe everyone should be equal regardless of race. I'm also a POC so racism doesn't fly with me. One night we were out clubbing together and a strange black man approaches us and asks for my number. Now I don't know this dude so I say no but he keeps insisting. I switch tactics to 'I have a boyfriend' and yet he persists. He won't leave us al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:59 PM
7

Lol this comment! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:37 PM
22

It's also super unprofessional for both your doctor and your therapist to be upset or coercive about your choice of therapist. Most therapists who are worth their salt know that their client may choose to go to another therapist if they feel more comfortable with them, and it's seen as normal practice because the needs of the client come first. They don't get offended. You shouldn't have even had to have apologised and your Dr and ex therapist definitely should not have been pressuring you to st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:42 AM
18

What an amazing woman. I wish I was rich so I could give her the sponsorship she deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:20 AM
9

Damn sis, glad you ended that. The disrespect!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:54 PM
11

Ugh avoid. I think men who write that sort of thing think the idea of cute animals appeal to our MaTernAl InStinCt as women. I get the impression they think dangling a puppy in front of us will get us to date them. It's lame and sexist. Additionally, if he wants a puppy, but can't afford it on his own or take care of it by himself that's not a very good sign. He probably wants you to do all the work of looking after it and paying for it while he gets to play with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:31 PM
9

Ever since discovering FDS I've sadly realised that my dad is LVM and cannot for the life of him make decisions or plans and see them through. Example 1: We have a broken tap. He said he would come round and fix it. I was waiting for him to do so. The next time I saw him he said "why haven't you had the tap fixed yet? It's been broken for so long!" Err I was waiting for you to do it? 🙄🙄🙄 Example 2: He suggested that one of these days we go horse riding. I said that was a great idea thinking he h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:56 AM
11

I hear you. I've got male friends who are much better people than the average man (though the bar is already so low), but I wouldn't consider dating them as though I enjoy their company as friends, they are far too problematic romantically (attachment issues, mummy issues, tight with money, age gap etc.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:45 AM
12

Question - how can we get verified for the FDS website and discord chat. I was quite confused by the whole process!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:07 PM
19

Vom 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:58 PM
8

Fair enough. I understand your perspective and I know what you mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:29 PM
3

I think the idea of the Royal Family as an institution being a LV one was a really interesting perspective that I hadn't really considered before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:06 PM
37

It sounds like you planned an amazing trip, especially having to book it a week in advance!! Men love to pretend they didn’t remember or are too incompetent to do something Yep! It was a trip that spanned three countries (Ireland, N. Ireland and Amsterdam) so imagine the work that went into organising that! For example, in Amsterdam I booked us for activities like painting at an artist's studio, a canal boat tour, a live music night, trying weed space cakes (lol, you gotta), going to see the van…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:02 PM
94

THIS right here. In my previous relationship I used to plan all the holidays (including creating a fun and jam packed itinerary of activities all researched and within budget). The one time I asked my ex to do it (as I was stressed from work) he procrastinated and procrastinated until there was only one week left till our flight and nothing, not even the hotel had been booked. I then had to scramble around and work extra hard (exactly what I wanted to avoid) to find and make plans. It was SO str…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:19 AM
3

This was heartwarming to read. I'm so happy for you, sis 😊💓💓☀️☀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 05:11 PM
4

Thanks for this, I'm glad to learn that the real ending is better than the ending of the movie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:11 PM
10

Lol sometimes it is more satisfying to be petty. Fuck these clowns indeed 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:08 PM
5

I wanted to do a '1 year on' post-break up check in. As I mentioned above, I broke up with my ex just over a year ago after 7 years together. I was absolutely devastated at the time and was ugly crying into my pillow at night (for weeks I might add). At the time I thought I'd made a terrible mistake as he wasn't a terrible person and we had an overall good relationship. He was also my best friend. However, we were long distance and when we were together he increasingly started relying on me to d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:59 AM
9

Congratulations on leveling up sis! Don't you dare go back to him! We've got your back💪you've just created the opportunity to have a much better life ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:37 AM
29

Funny, I would have suggested chemical castration for paedophiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:57 AM
31

We should call it Paeddit to make the paedophile link obvious (but this may be a UK spelling).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:55 AM
15

Absolutely. I think Peter Pan syndrome is a part of this. They literally need a partner who is like a mother to them because they can't deal with the responsibilities and realities that adulthood brings (or choose not to deal with it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:09 PM
33

This is slightly longer post but I think there is another psychological component here in that men are absolutely terrified of getting older, and facing the inevitable truth of their mortality. Most men don't take care of themselves in the same way that women do so they usually end up looking older and 'hitting the wall' (hate that phrase) in their 30s. I think when you get older and start suffering from the health effects of having abused your younger years with too much alcohol, a poor diet, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:07 PM
11

Most 'Spencer's I have had the (dis)pleasure of knowing have sooner or later revealed themselves to be fucking awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:04 PM
38

Yes making oneself 'less visible' is to keep oneself safe. It's about avoiding unwanted male attention that could possibly be violent and traumatic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:36 AM
6

Cool! Thanks for taking the time to write this ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:28 PM
2

That's really cool! What sort of salary do tree technicians usually make? Is it a hard job?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:49 PM
201

I only share my FDS viewpoints with select friends who I think need the help it would give them or would respond well to it. I'm someone who is quite private otherwise and I don't like taking a stance about most things on social media. I'm also a bit Machiavellian in that I don't like sharing my standards because I'm constantly vetting people against them. I'm quite left leaning and work in a conservative environment (in the UK, not US). I know people from all over the political spectrum and don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:39 AM
28

Wow I've never admitted this publicly but I also had similar fantasies as a child and I don't know where those came from as I certainly wasn't watching porn at that age. I don't know if it's trauma that I've just blocked out and don't remember or some other cause. I do remember that after being groped at 9 and experiencing CPTSD I had rape fantasies and later in life (early 20s) partook in light BDSM with my then boyfriend. I think these were me trying to come to terms with my trauma. I've since…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:23 PM
37

I could only get through a few minutes of listening to that. I couldn't stand how he was reframing her actions in such a way to gaslight her and make it seem like her actions were self centred, selfish and wrong. Honestly, I found it quite alarming how adept he is at manipulating her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 09:59 AM
17

FML the term "Office wife status" makes me want to cry because it's so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:18 PM
21

When men do something in bed and they're like, "Do you like that? Yeah? Do you like thaaat?" Usually, it's not about asking if you actually like it, more that they need to hear 'yes' because it's about their ego and their need to feel like Sex Gods™. If you actually say 'no' then you would ruin the mood, which means you don't have a choice but to say yes. Before I understood this dynamic I always felt pressured to say yes so as not to offend the man, even if I wasn't that into whatever it was th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 05:32 PM
14

I've just put '/s' at the end of my post to clarify that no one should go there and say anything like this and that my point was totally sarcastic 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:24 PM
73

Can we go on there and post "Not all women!" and my favourite, "as a woman, I don't have any friends who would do this sort of thing." /s 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:16 PM
6

💯!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:42 AM
25

For sure! I see a younger version of myself in her (I was also very passionate about climate action and raised money for green causes as a school child) and I find her to be so inspiring. I like the way she hits back at people who have said shit about her though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:35 AM
43

I definitely realised that men found me a lot more attractive when I had more social status than them. For example, if they realised I had more money, a good career, a passport/ nationality they would love to marry into or assets that they liked, they'd suddenly become infatuated. Throw in being an attractive woman and I think many men considered me marriage material (though I did not consider them husband material as they were not my equals). Men love a woman with status that they can show off …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:25 AM
32

This is definitely a major contributing factor. Like most social equality movements, the narrative around popular feminism has been co-opted to serve the ruling classes. I like that FDS is getting more popular but I'm also afraid that the same thing will happen to FDS too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:17 AM
18

Perhaps it's a good vetting strategy to ask the guy you're thinking of dating what he thinks of the word 'simp' and see whether he has any passing understanding of gender equality and the conversations around that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:06 PM
1

Really sorry to hear that. I can tell how dejected you are just from the tone of your words (does that sound crazy?!) Can you call round to any women's shelters today? Can any of your colleagues help you to call so you don't have to do it alone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:54 PM
1

Damn. Is she ok? And are you ok?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:45 PM
7

Sis offers a big hug. I live in the UK and have a disabled mother. I'm her carer and I've had to deal with the fuckery that is the system so I know your frustration well. I think British bureaucracy is (most of the time) cold, clinical and lacking in understanding, empathy and common sense. Everything is weighed against a checklist: your entire life boils down to whether you meet certain arbitrary criteria and these determine whether you can get help. It's not a humane system. It's system design…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:05 AM
9

The fact that we’re subjected to both personal and societal exploitation repeatedly throughout our lives and are still miraculously able to function is beyond the empathetic capabilities of men who are taught that this exploitation does not even take place. Preach it sis. Most men couldn't handle being a woman. The fact that women endure is a testament to their resilience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:33 PM
10

There is a big grain of truth in what you say about how many pick-me women HATE it when another woman is confident, has a lot of self love and won't speak of themselves in disparaging terms. It's a sad state of affairs but women will often bond over their insecurities and their bad experiences with men ("I'm so fat", "I feel so ugly", "he never called me back", "he speaks to other girls" etc.). To succeed in self-esteem and romance is to 'opt-out' of the group identity and 'betray' your team mem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:17 PM
33

Tbf I read it as her being sarcastic instead of genuine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 09:23 PM
3

This guy is pretty hot but I don't really like the gamification of housework into something that gets men laid. I think women are sick of men having an agenda. I think the emphasis needs to be on 'your wife is a human being and women respond when men treat them as human beings i.e. with consideration and respect'. Ironically not making everything about sex and helping women without a covert agenda would probably be more of a turn on. After all, having an agenda behind helping women is just anoth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:36 PM
8

I'm sure this may get buried but I just had an argument with my dad. He came to visit us and when I said hello to him the first thing he did was to make a kicking motion towards me (and it wasn't the first time). I called him out on it, I said I don't find that funny, I don't like it and I would prefer it if he could greet me with actions that are loving instead of 'pretending to kick' me. He tried to gaslight me said I was being too sensitive that I "needed to get out of the house more". I said…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:45 PM
3

Yep in the Breakfast Club the bully attracts the popular girl after spending ages acting inappropriately and cruelly towards her. Like please. I like that movie but I could never stand that dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:00 PM
2

Jesus, really sorry you went through that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:09 PM
9

Love thisss, felt like this cleansed my soul and spirit. This should be made into a proper song I need more wholesome feminist rap! 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:29 PM
7

Hahah yes!! 😂👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:27 PM
7

This is why men have no problem cheating on their wives with someone 20 years younger because to them women are relegated to 'status' symbol instead of people they love and admire as humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:35 AM
3

I like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:43 PM
10

LOL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 02:56 AM
5

I'm out of the loop, how did they treat them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:58 AM
8

😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:22 AM
48

I read that this was eventually made illegal and the hatpin style had to be changed: The uniquely feminine weapon did not sit too well with men used to submissive ladies, so beginning in 1908, they began passing laws limiting the length of hatpins, usually to no more than 7-9 inches. Other cities passed regulations requiring safety caps for hatpins rather than outright banning longer ones. Male lawmakers weren’t just making idle threats, either. Women vehemently opposed the laws and some ladies …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:51 AM
47

To be honest yes it is all men. Let me explain. Not every man may be a sexual predator, a rapist or murderer. We know HVM exist in the world, however rare. However, all men (even the good ones) benefit from the atmosphere of fear and oppression created by the violent and perverse men. That's called the patriarchy. And all women are affected by this. All men benefit from the patriarchy, because they automatically become the dominant class when, due to their violence, their female counterparts are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:31 PM
8

Haha sorry misheard it 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:44 PM
18

Ohhh hahah. My bad. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:43 PM
55

"Everytime I go out at night I risk getting shagged!" Her comedic timing is on point 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:41 PM
324

Absolutely, any man that doesn't make me feel like we're creating a secure attachment style between us is not the one (i.e. no jealousy, no anxiety, no feeling like I need to chase, no feeling insecure about myself and no feeling like I need to prove myself to him). Make me feel safe and cared for, give me reason to trust you and feel like you're on my side against the world. Make me feel like a priority and that you're loyal to me. None of this immature jealousy crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:35 PM
5

This has got my blood boiling in rage, the fucking wankstain of a man. I really, really hope karma comes to bite him in the ass and someone beats the hell out of him for harassing and traumatising these girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:16 PM
19

I was worried with my ex* that he'd feel upstaged by my out earning him when I negotiated a pay rise at work. So I asked him, "I earn more than you now, how do you feel about it?" And he said, "I'm happy for you, they still should have given you more. You deserve it." This is one of the reasons we can still remain friends to this day. (*I should clarify I was never going to limit my potential to make him feel comfortable, I was just hoping he wouldn't change on me as so many men do when they fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:58 PM
82

Whaaattt? I am screaaaming 👏👏👏 Your voices sound so professional, you absolute legends 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:39 PM
23

Perhaps it's evolutionary. Only women who ignore the problem have offspring and pass on genes to the next generation. Not critically thinking child free women. My pseudo-theory is that nature makes women forget or dismiss how hard it is to raise children so that was can continue to procreate. I've heard women say that they've forgotten the pain of childbirth and now they're thinking of having another child. 🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:26 PM
28

Hello 👋 I believe that was me! And here is the link to that thread with all the stats. Crazy, frustrating stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:21 PM
6

I really can't express how I feel about this. I have a multitude of feelings that are varying degrees of feeling like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:52 PM
1

Is this a podcast?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:32 PM
15

Women are increasingly getting educated, making coin and pushing past the glass ceiling. Don't get me wrong, there is still a really long way to go for women to have equality, but when you see women achieving great things and breaking barriers AND STILL suffering from the patriarchy, it means that women have done what they can and now it's time for men to step up. There comes a time when women have to say 'Its not me, it's you' to the patriarchy, and put the responsibility back on to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:24 PM
6

Amazing! Anybody know what her moisturiser is called?!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:16 PM
12

That's very true. I meant my comment generally and should have added a caveat about that as I appreciate that it's been extra hard during the pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:52 PM
82

If men are unable or unwilling to help out with childcare they should earn enough money to be able to ease the burden of responsibility off of the woman by hiring for her nannies, cleaners and chefs. That is what his money from his job should go into (providing for his family), i.e. his emotional labour at work for her emotional labour at home. A man should want to spend money on you in order to take care of you. He shouldn't want to see you burnt out and stressed. It is only fair that if her em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:25 PM
9

Absolutely this! He's the kind of guy who can't handle rejection and is then abusive about it. He's been spewing vitriol at Meghan and turning public opinion against her for YEARS all because they had one drink together and she ghosted him, which she is entitled to do! She doesn't need to give him the time of day because he's a 'nice guy' ™. What NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:44 PM
10

I've been listening to Jordan Peterson because I'm interested in analysing why guys are so enthralled by him. What does he tell young men to do? Get up, make their bed, become a productive member of society. Basic shit that is obvious as fuck that their mothers have probably already been telling them to do for years. However coming from Peterson, the men in the comments are like 'This advice helped cure my depression! Jordan Peterson understands me!' Etc. Etc. I think in the consciousness of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:41 PM
1

Also in the UK here. Would love to read your thread once you've completed the process as I'm approaching 30 and don't feel at all ready to have kids yet. However, like you I'm a fencesitter and would like to have the option later down the line depending on my love life etc. It's really good to hear that it's been a relatively uneventful process so far!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:05 PM
11

Really sorry you went through that sis ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:44 PM
6

I also get really annoyed when people say 'penis size doesn't matter because most of the sensation is at the opening of the vagina'. Ummm no? I appreciate every woman's vagina is different, but as someone who has been with a well endowed partner I can tell you I definitely feel pleasure all the way down to the deepest part, and it usually feels even better than the opening. I feel like that sort of statement is used to erase women's pleasure in favour of puffing up men's egos and is also deeply …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:09 PM
10

Never date a man who has a Madonna/whore complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:35 PM
20

Haha your story of the vile goblin reminds me of a conversation I was having with a guy on OLD. He said he was from Chile and I said, 'Oh, the longest country in the world.' He was so shocked, he said, 'How do you know that? Not many people know that!!' I was just like bro....'I read.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:15 AM
10

I suspect Piers Morgan is using Meghan Markle to promote awareness of his brand in the US. He's fully aware that Harry and Meghan are an international couple who have millions of eyes on them, he's fully aware a large portion of the US is right leaning, racist and ripe to be whipped up into an outraged frenzy and he's fully aware that having controversial opinions about her makes him notorious, in/famous and brings in viewers. He's very smart. I really dislike him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:32 AM
2

Her story absolutely floored me. I had to pause for a second as it brought me to tears. What an incredible, inspiring woman. What a champion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:42 PM
1

Jesus fucking Christ, that's awful. I live in the UK and I had heard vague mentions of the discrimination that indigenous people face but I didn't know it was this bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:34 PM
2

Oh wow I'm impressed by how creative their rings are! Thanks for the recommendation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:21 PM
3

I work for a Fortune 100 company and I realised that most of its historic profits are based on the fact that it's (mainly male) employees were only able to do their 60-90 hour a week jobs because they had wives to do the emotional labour at home. Think about that - billions in profits made for one single company off of the back of women's unpaid labour at home. It blew my mind when I had this epiphany 🤯 Women's work is so valuable and capitalism requires that women don't realise this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:55 PM
4

I like friendships with older women! I'm in my late 20s and am friends with women in their 40-50s. I go for coffee and catch ups with them. Just the other day I was talking to an older friend of mine and she said, 'Couples want children but then the woman ends up doing all the work and it just doesn't work!' It was like something straight out of the FDS handbook y'all. Don't forget, sometimes older women have enough life experiences to have figured certain things out. Another example: I told her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:43 PM
10

I'm low key tempted to start a feminist band called the Female Monolith 😂😂😂👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:22 PM
6

Would you believe I was thinking about this very same issue just yesterday before I saw this post on here. I think my biggest issue with the elegance movement is that it's mostly performative. Don't get me wrong, I love dressing up and looking boujie, however, I don't like being pigeon holed into a stereotype of what kind of person I am based on my clothes. I can change my clothes and would you look at that change how people perceive me. I can be 'elegant', I can dress like a metal head, I can d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:41 PM
3

So pretty, where did you get this ring?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:15 PM
27

I was about to say the same thing. I've heard a lot of misogynistic things from gay men. It's not great as in an ideal world all oppressed classes could be allying with each other to bring about equality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:18 AM
17

Sameee gurl, sameee. It's so comfortable. I don't know how I survived 10-12 hours of bra wearing every day before the pandemic. Now I work at home and my boobs are so free and comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:28 PM
11

You've just put into words something I've been trying to explain my whole life. I don't really sleep around and people have assumed it's because I'm a conservative 'good girl'. I'm not. I'm not a Madonna or a whore. It's not about purity or virginity or proving myself in the eyes of men. To be honest, I don't give a shit. I embrace the fact that I'm a complex person who is multifaceted. I enjoy sex and I don't mind having casual sex if I'm attracted to that person and guaranteed to be safe and r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:06 PM
9

Ooh I'm making a mental note of that quote. That's a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:48 PM
21

Yep a guy I was chatting to on OLD told me he had his own business that he had been successfully running for years. I looked him up on LinkedIn and found out he was some sort of sales manager and not a CEO like he was claiming. He probably thought he was being a clever sales person by lying to me to 'close the deal'. I unmatched.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 06:14 PM
18

Ok but what about if women want to replace men with male sex robots that have six packs and big dicks that double up as vibrators and can be customised according to the woman's sexual pleasure and preference? Robots who can also be programmed to do the housework? It can happen you know, they shouldn't get too arrogant about 'replacing' women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:21 PM
6

Yeah I think he was one of the key figures that drove the scene, and then was made famous by the book The Game by Neil Strauss. I hate how this shit entered into popular culture, as if we didn't already have enough reasons to distrust men and their intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:40 PM
15

This is me. I pay attention to patterns of behaviour and how someone makes me feel. Do they make me feel insecure? I avoid them. Do they make me feel jealous? I avoid them. Do they make me feel like I'm chasing them and they're triggering my anxious attachment style? I avoid them. Do they make me feel like anything other than my best self? Avoid. If they make me feel secure, safe, seen and comfortable then I take that as a good sign and keep vetting. I pay attention to how they speak, what sorts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:37 PM
2

I basically stopped listening to hip-hop when I was 14 and going through the first wave of my radical feminism phase. I realised early on that most music had disgusting lyrics that were demeaning to women and it really curtailed my enjoyment of that music. Soon thereafter I shifted to listening to rock and metal (which is a bit better lyrically) and haven't really looked back. I quite like listening to Ashnikko and the OG Queen Latifah though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:24 PM
2

This has me cracking up 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:56 PM
20

I was gonna say...looks like he was so high when he wrote it. I don't know your ex (obviously) but my first reaction to seeing that card was 'does this guy smoke too much weed?' Guess I was right! 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 10:36 AM
3

Absolutely, I was also bullied when I was younger (to the point where I was briefly suicidal - but thankfully was never intent on going through with it) and I have defended women who were being sexually assaulted by men taller and stronger than me. I really can't respect people who are so afraid of confrontation or conflict (or even awkwardness) that they can't advocate for what is right. Especially people like men who are already privileged in height, strength and status. Conflict, confrontatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:11 PM
24

He played the father in The Last of the Mohicans which is one of my favourite movies with (imo) a HV couple. I like the fact that they used Native Americans in the cast, especially activists, as a movie about Native Americans/ First Nations people can be a sensitive topic. They also used a historian to make sure they were as accurate as possible because the original book the movie was based on was apparently somewhat racist (and they didn't want to be racist).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:33 PM
53

Oh hell no, raise your voice at me just once and watch me YEET the fuck out of there. Nah hunny, this ain't it. Can't be dealing with no emotionally stunted manchildren. My inner calm is too important ✋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:09 PM
46

Vom 🤮 That's rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:00 PM
30

During times like that I feel like saying insulting retorts and when they get offended just be like "Chill bro, it was just a joke? Don't you have a sense of humour lolol". It's my favourite way of getting them to shut up because it's only when it happens to them do they understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:58 PM
17

Omg love this response! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:47 AM
2

This had me cracking up and took me right back to when I was reading the Canterbury Tales at school ahahaha amazing. Thank you!!! 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:29 PM
12

Gosh I am so sorry you went through that. The legal system is severely flawed. I'm glad you were able to get away from those men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:39 PM
9

This is so annoying as I want to wear chokers, I like how they look on me, but I don't want to deal with people's (men's) assumptions about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:55 PM
6

Jesus, what happened after you were arrested? Did they let you go??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:29 PM
8

Wow, where did you learn that statistic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:24 PM
28

Just had to share a pathetic conversation I had with an ex some time ago. A few years ago I was groped at a party while I was hugging my then bf (now ex). I told him what happened but he didn't in any way confront the man who had groped me. In fact he continued to drink and joke around with him. His reasoning? He tends to shut down in front of bullies and doesn't like confrontation. This man is 6 ft 4 and into weightlifting y'all. I said to him he shouldn't be so afraid as I'm 5 ft 2 and have to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:25 PM
3

Holy goddamn, mic drop right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 12:04 AM
10

Thanks, I had already seen this posted elsewhere on Reddit and had watched it then. Thankfully I was believed when I told my parents but by that time the guy had escaped (and it was a stranger so we didn't know his identity). My dad was fuming, he went patrolling the streets looking to find the guy, I think he probably would have killed him if he had found him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:10 PM
54

As someone whose world was shattered when a man groped me aged 9, this video triggered the hell out of me and made me so mad. I'm glad she gave him 22 years and not some paltry slap on the wrist. My own perpetrator got away but I hope he got caught and suffered for it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:12 PM
4

Cora and Hawkeye in The Last of the Mohicans. I love the subtlety of the romance in this movie. She's a lady of propriety, he's a hunter and a scout. When things go awry you can see her personality changing, becoming more resilient and fiery. Hawkeye accepts and embraces this change in her. He never judges or is intimidated by it. His steely determination compliments her courage. It's the most understated dynamic ever but to me it's chef's kiss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:29 PM
6

This got me cackling for like a good five minutes 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:27 PM
12

I'm so glad that as a 14 year old teenager I got into radical feminism, decided to throw out all these girl magazines and focused radically on loving myself instead of pursuing boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:02 AM
6

I think cradle snatcher is best
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:43 AM
3

I had these very same concerns. It's really troubling that someone else has had them too. Stay safe sis 💞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:29 AM
3

I wish I could upvote you twice 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:34 PM
2

I'm also (mostly) a non drinker and it was amazing the number of men who were turned off by this when I mentioned it on OLD. Really goes to show most of them want to get you drunk to lower your inhibitions so that they can manipulate you into doing things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:19 PM
2

Apologies for asking this here as I'm not sure where else to ask it but do we no longer have the weekly check in posts? You know the ones we could just socialise in? The FDS chat also doesn't seem to be working for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:15 PM
2

This had me rolling with laughter in the most unexpected of ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:50 PM
48

I remember when one FDS member got banned from a sub (I think it was TwoX) for calling the OP's abusive ex a 'manchild' and that was considered hate speech lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:27 AM
2

Omg I'm not faint of heart but this got me feeling some type of woozy 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:55 PM
79

"This is why y'all are single." But isn't it men who complain that dating is really hard for them and that they never get complimented and it's really hard to find a girlfriend? Methinks that the men who say this sort of stuff are the same people who complain they can't get a girlfriend. Maybe if you actually cared for your girlfriend she wouldn't leave your ass and you wouldn't be single lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:28 PM
2

This is a really good suggestion, thank you. It's something I realised that I didn't do enough of in my pre-covid life. Last year I finished a Marketing Diploma (equivalent to an undergrad degree) while working full time and so I had no extra bandwidth for a social life. One positive thing to come out of this pandemic is that I realised I definitely need to meet more people!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:56 PM
5

That's really cool. I'm also somewhat socially stubborn. I grew up on government welfare and now work as a Marketing Exec at a private equity firm. I work alongside extremely intelligent people, some politicians, some aristocrats, most of them very wealthy. I make decent money for what I do and this year I negotiated a promotion with a 20% raise. I'm the first person in my family to earn as much as I do. I earn more than my dad. I come from a patriarchal culture so out-earning the traditional he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:08 PM
7

I have to applaud how clear you are in your vision for what you want. Do you mind me asking what job do you do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 09:45 PM
29

Lol I heard a one handed slow clap at the end of your comment. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:57 PM
3

I've done MMA on and off for 20 years and this made me miss the dojo SO MUCH (damn these lockdowns lol). MMA is like therapy to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:32 PM
5

As you yourself realised, he tried to take advantage of you. Men who try to take advantage, who are not generous and caring make bad partners and fathers. I'm additionally concerned about his worldview on women that he viewed you as a potentially untrustworthy whore, a sugarbaby, and that you needed to financially 'prove' yourself to him 🚩🚩🚩. Any man who thinks about women in this way has some deep seated misogyny. Finally, April is not even that far away! I've learned to be wary of men who say …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:21 PM
14

Exactly this. It is about being kind and taking care of someone you care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:48 AM
34

Jesus Christ...this is fucking tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 03:44 AM
54

I literally read the first sentence then my eyes glazed over as I fell asleep. This is what men must feel like when women send them a long text message about how he's hurt them. Bored and disinterested, only this time, we're not interested in what they have to say (yawn) 🥱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:37 PM
33

Loool. Reminds me of my well meaning but LV dad. I recently told him that lockdown was getting to me and I really needed to leave the house to get some air. He came round (back when it was ok to visit someone) and made a big fuss of taking me out, asked me get ready, we get in the car aaand then he turns around and asks me 'so where are we going?' I burst out laughing. Here was his big plan to save me from the lockdown blues but he still required me to plan what we were going to do. Don't ask me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:30 PM
2

Do you know what song was shocking and controversial at the time but is totally legit when I now view it through an FDS lense? My Neck, My Back by Khia 😂 A song all about telling a guy to eat her out properly, the way she likes it. Let's get those orgasms ladies 👏👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:10 PM
20

Yup. Women are tired of sex as an offering. We are offered sex alllll the time by men. What I personally want is intimacy. That is more valuable because it's more rare, and also more erotic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:30 AM
86

Definite shout out to the mods: the unsung heroes of FDS. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:25 AM
2

This was a really interesting read and made me shift my perspective. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:07 PM
3

I loved this! Thanks for making it. I love the idea of an FDS mini documentary series on the forgotten women of history. If only I knew how to make a video like this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:07 PM
10

Ah yeah I think that's the one! 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 07:44 PM
3

Fuck. I know this is obvious but just reading it in these words made me feel a wave of anger. Fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 07:44 PM
2

This is tasty as hell. I will savour this quote, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:18 PM
19

I think it was a different tiktok but I kinda recognise his face. I may be wrong though😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:17 PM
82

LOLL The "compatibility is key, that's why every three seconds someone finds their match on eHarmony" line killed me at the end 😂😂😂 Isn't this also the same guy who was shared here before? I vaguely seem to remember his face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:52 PM
21

Saving this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:40 PM
6

This was beautiful. Reading about women's powerful sexuality was healing. I come from a conservative culture and I've had to battle with feeling ashamed about my sexuality in the past. There is always so much discussion around how female sexuality is bad, never any discussion around how female sexuality is powerful and spiritual 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 12:30 AM
2

He needs to go to therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 12:09 AM
35

Also I would like to pose the question, 'Why hasn't her therapist told her his low blood sugar level excuse is bullshit?' She needs to get out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:20 PM
21

What the actual fuck. Can we also get rid of this notion of the so called "expert" who supposedly "knows what they're doing". Have you met men? They think they're experts at everything. Fact check: they're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:39 PM
7

I'm really sorry you went through that 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:26 PM
2

Yeah absolutely! I remember those days! When you think about it like that and contrast it to what is going on right now the difference is stark as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:26 PM
7

It's really wild! I'm not interested in sacrificing my toes for any man 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:23 PM
11

Yeah I literally winced when the camera spun to the baby. My immediate instinct was, "Girl get yourself and your baby out of there!!" 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:13 PM
22

Are those buttplug voting buttons? I'm dead💀 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:13 PM
23

I low key respect how she's played all these players at their own game. I'm still judging Michael B. Jordan for dating someone almost a decade younger than him though 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:05 PM
11

😂😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 11:50 AM
6

To be honest I was watching this with my parents lurking around so I was glad it wasn't such a drawn out scene! I did appreciate how often he went down on her though. The length may be short (no pun intended 😂) but I can't think of many other TV shows that show the man willingly giving cunnilingus* without having to be asked. I think this is one of the reasons that the show has become popular among female audiences (that and Regé-Jean Page is obviously attractive), and I hope that creators will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 11:11 AM
16

Madonna/ whore complex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 10:25 AM
5

Honestly, planning a date is not even that hard. If a man can't plan a date then he's showing he doesn't have the life/ organisational skills to function as a proper, independent adult - aka will expect you to pick up the entire emotional labour and mental load of the relationship. Nah hunny, you gotta show me a little initiative. Get your act together. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:57 AM
3

I do the same 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:50 AM
7

I don't know you but I recognise your inner strength and power and want to offer you a hug! 💖💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:53 AM
15

So, I absolutely loved Call Me By Your Name, BUT I felt an uncomfortable gut feeling with Hammer. His presence, his acting, his spirit just never felt right to me. I personally think he absolutely hated the idea of playing a gay man and was uncomfortable about it (which showed in his performance), but did it to break into the film industry. I always felt he was one of these people who pretends to have a calm outer exterior but who secretly has a shit storm of a personality inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:43 AM
5

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:29 PM
10

Oh hellll noooo. So he thought having his feefees hurt was just cause for him to rape you and get physically violent?! I'm so glad you're out of that relationship. What an absolute wank stain of a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:42 PM
13

Absolutely, I felt his body language was wayyyyy off. Disinterested, going along with it all because he feels he has to uphold social etiquette (which, as a Brit, I can tell you is the most British thing ever, and as a self appointed 'Brit Translator' I can tell you he's hating every minute of this). British people will say something out of politeness while thinking and feeling the complete opposite. You'll only know what they truly think if you follow all their subtle passive aggressive comment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 09:19 PM
3

So I studied anthropology and have been in an open relationship so I have a few thoughts on this. I think humans can swing between monogamy and polygamy depending on social context. Excuse the 'muh biology' style of writing here, I'm remembering what I learned in bio anth many years ago. For women, (assuming the risk of STDs is low in a group), mating with multiple men can lead to sperm competition i.e. the man with the fittest, healthiest sperm is more likely to get the woman pregnant as his sp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:57 PM
3

'What kind of wicked game is this?' That line had me cracking up 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:25 PM
8

Yeah I find the constant over use of the word 'bitch' grating. Don't call me a bitch, don't refer to yourself as a bitch. Let's do better than this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:06 PM
5

Jesus what you've outlined is pure evil!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:46 PM
5

That would be a really cool idea! I get the impression that many FDSers are secretly very educated and impressive women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:21 PM
23

Lol I'm loving the mental image of you making the 'time out gesture' with your hands to deal with his idiotic, childish ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:01 PM
4

Where is your aunty Zelda from? Her clothes are really cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:52 PM
9

Girrrl take good care of that watch! It's rare and expensive. I found a second hand one online and it was priced at £30k, so needless to say it's very valuable. I personally love the Cartier Panthère collection. It's a lovely watch, enjoy using it and flexing with it 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:51 PM
13

Nuclear families are entirely a modern invention (that have probably only been around since the 1940s, after the post-war boom led to affordable housing for all, and where families could move to live in their own 'nuclear' houses). The reality is that most of human history has consisted of people living/ socialising in groups of around 100 individuals (usually related in some way) living in close proximity to eachother, even if these groups formed part of larger social structures such as village…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:23 PM
9

This is what was also going through my mind when I read it and I'm based in the UK. The lack of maternity leave for US mothers is really akin to some sort of medieval torture for both the mother and the baby. You can't have a well adjusted society under these conditions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:28 PM
5

Yes! I would say try and watch YouTube videos where an instructor takes you through beginner steps and practice in front of a mirror. You will look and will feel funny at first as your brain tries to compute how the hell you should move your body (lol) but if you keep practicing you'll get the hang of it and can start copying more complex movements. I learned a lot of my moves watching and copying Shakira. Her La Tortura video is one of my favourites. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:12 PM
4

Great, thank you so much for your recommendations. I'll save your comment and come back to it as I slowly digest your reading list! I agree that more women should have an interest in these "masculine" subjects. I like learning, period, and I don't pay much attention to what I should or shouldn't learn based on my gender. I've been interested in typically 'male' hobbies all my life, like MMA and coding. I wish I could meet FDSers in real life, there are so many cool women on this sub whose brains…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:00 PM
33

When I was at uni I got really, really into bellydancing. I'm Turkish so it's part of my culture and I took that, ran with it, and would practice it every night at home. Pretty soon I was very good at it. The thing about bellydancing is that it's harder than it looks, with a lot of cardio and moves that involve the use of stomach muscles. It wasn't long before I started developing a six pack from all this exercise. I mentioned this to a male classmate at the time and his response? 'You can't get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:42 PM
27

This is fascinating! I've low key become interested in military strategy but I've no idea where to start my research/ learning. Any tips on how to get the ball rolling, what are some good resources to read around this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:21 PM
40

I love how this sub has recently been filled with an influx of women flexing their beautiful rings, and a whole other bunch of women complimenting them for it! Love the sisterly energy 🥰✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:07 AM
36

Most of the noses on this sub are completely normal sized to me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:52 PM
41

This is exactly how I read his replies too. I feel incredibly sorry for his wife and his children who are no doubt suffering a lot of trauma right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 08:12 PM
5

OP thank you for sharing your story. You are kind and brave in sharing something so personal in order to help other women. Now in return, I'd like to offer you some encouragement. Sometimes we all need to hear it from someone. Firstly, be kind on yourself. I understand you have been out of the SD scene for about 1.5 years. This is not a whole lot of time (though it may sound like it) so be patient with your healing. It's great you are seeing a therapist, seeing a therapist did wonders for me so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:31 PM
131

Jesus effin christ. That was horrible to read and that gyno appointment sounds so traumatic. Really sorry you had to go through that. When I was younger I spent about a year learning Japanese as I was considering living in Japan for a year. As a 5 ft 2 petite woman who looks rather girlish, and much younger than her age, I'm glad I didn't follow through with it. I've already experienced enough trauma from being groped on public transport. No thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:40 PM
13

This show was like...bingeable trash. It's not going to win any awards but I enjoyed it after lowering my expectations and taking off my FDS glasses lol. I will say though that I was quite uncomfortable with the scene that depicted marital rape. It got no condemnation and it was uncomfortable to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:48 PM
5

What the actual fuck? I bet though, if a guy came to the hospital with a sprained ankle they would give him painkillers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:33 PM
2

Damn yeah that last line hit the nail on the head - I've definitely been a pick me with friends 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:28 PM
3

Wow thank you so much this comment is a treasure trove of wisdom. I'll be saving this and will be rereading it numerous times. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:42 AM
3

I'm so sorry you had to experience that, sending you hugs 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 01:04 PM
23

Funnily enough I think the losing my peace of mind bit scares me more than the other things. I really don't like putting myself in situations that give me anxiety lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 01:32 AM
22

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:20 PM
13

FYI giving birth as a human is difficult not only because of these modern practices but also because we have very big brains that need to be housed in big skulls. Fitting the head through the vaginal canal is more difficult for humans than it is for other animals that have smaller heads/brains.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:18 PM
7

How would you go about setting up said meetings and how would you initiate the conversation in a way that got them to blab?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:40 PM
13

If it were someone I didn't care for I'd probably turn the tables on them and start mocking them based on their appearance/ intelligence/ whatever and then say 'hey lighten up! I was just joking!' Giving them a taste of their own medicine seems to cut through to them. But then I grew up in a rough neighborhood and I'm not afraid of confrontation or defending myself, and I can have a very offensive mouth when I choose to switch on that side of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:33 AM
9

Yes!! I recently set up an automatic monthly donation to a women's shelter when I heard about all the increased rates of domestic violence during the pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:42 AM
16

Jesus that's terrible. If I ever go to S. Korea I think I'll just barge my way in and use the men's toilets!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:53 AM
6

100% he'll reach out to her when he needs some money. He'll cry crocodile tears and talk about how he's realised some truths and is a changed man/father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 11:18 PM
22

Oh god, that's maddening! You would think they would take them off and ban them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 07:17 PM
6

Damn! I didn't know this had happened. I bviously knew she was dating Mendez now and they seem so happy together too. He seems like such a sweetheart (I hope he genuinely is).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:52 PM
32

Congratulations!! 🎉🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:51 PM
5

Thanks, I'll keep this in mind for future negotiations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:48 PM
1

Could you please expand on what you mean by double negotiating on an offer? Would love to hear what you do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:39 PM
3

Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:20 PM
142

I love it if a guy is legit masculine when having sex. I’m not talking about these fake masculine pornsick ‘dominant’ guys, but actually benefitting women kind of masculine. Yes I know exactly what you mean! Men get confused about what it means to be 'alpha' and they think it's to be an asshole and dominant in bed. Look at what they teach in PUA circles. It's toxic and leads to toxic relationships. No, the sexiest type of masculine is a man who is strong, powerful (whether physically, mentally a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:55 PM
3

I've never heard of this term before - what else can I check out that involves 'real politik?'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:26 AM
1

NGL, I love period dramas (and hate gaming) 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 06:54 PM
5

This week I watched The Last of the Mohicans. Damn, the love story between Hawkeye and Cora in this movie is one of my favourites and represents a HV couple (imo). The chemistry between them is so passionate and electric without being gratuitous. I found myself stanning the movie and a young, long haired Daniel Day Lewis. Bring back long haired men, I say! I know it's not to everyone's taste, but I've always had a thing for masculine, long haired men. I also really loved how Cora's character cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:53 PM
8

I never realised she didn't have female friends. I could sort of accept that she's always immaculately dressed as I work in corporate finance and that's exactly how we dress. It's expected in certain circles of the corporate world and a law firm would be in that category. I think her character is an interesting one...the basis of her character is HV, but she is being dragged and tempted into becoming LV by Saul who is NVM, instead of the other way around with Saul 'changing' to become HV because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:29 PM
8

Yes I was going to comment on that. It's kinda fucked up a woman was trying to minimise what was happening in order to make the situation less awkward, instead of shouting 'dude, what the fuck, what did you do?' and holding him accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:39 PM
4

He was pretty smart with a lot of field experience, but was also completely sleezy, which I think he mostly hid from other faculty members.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:05 PM
9

Yeah, allow me to say you're awesome 🤘 I think at least Anthropology is a field that has made efforts to be self reflective, if only to make up for it's sordid colonial past, and within those efforts to renew itself, feminist voices have also been able to shine through. I was lucky enough to study a very rigorous program that taught social, biological and material Anthropology, which meant I could be reading feminist critiques and philosophy in one breath, and learning about evolutionary biology…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:06 AM
21

Yoooo, I studied Anthropology at uni and Primatology was one of my favourite subjects. I feel so HYPED to see my fellow sisters discussing this topic and thinking critically about what is a super interesting subject, though it is a subject that has been written about from a mostly patriarchal perspective. I remember my male lecturer making jokes about how traipsing around the jungle had 'aged' Jane Goodall and using all the 'muh biology' arguments we hear today from PUA/MRAs to essentialise male…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:42 PM
27

Damn, mind blown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:17 PM
9

I want to applaud your childhood 👏👏💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:15 PM
51

I'd buy this! Can you also make club outfits that zap people, especially if they try to touch the butt?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:17 PM
1

Previous bf of mine cared and would try and make me cum more than once, or would sometimes just go down on me without expecting anything in return. If I didn't cum for whatever reason I would be honest about it and he wouldn't take it personally. I also had a fwb who kinda cared but was offended massively when I told him I hadn't cum that session. I'm sorry hunny, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. If I cum, you'll know. If I don't cum, you'll know. Women need to start being more honest about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:04 PM
5

I’ve seen men say nonsense like “I can’t stick my dick in your degree”. "Your micropenis couldn't penetrate the width of the paper my degree was printed on anyway."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:25 AM
10

Classic example of a person looking to be cruel just to be cruel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 06:32 PM
9

Haha I hear you sis and you did the right thing! Clearly I was a bit slow on the uptake 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:10 PM
21

At first I didn't realise you had copied and pasted the article into your post so I was starting to get offended as my bullshitometer levels began rising. I'm glad that even when I thought a woman was writing this post I was engaging the content critically and not agreeing with its content lol. Fuck that noise 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:05 PM
6

I think we may have dated the same person 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:47 PM
4

Absolutely, I tried searching for the kind of porn I'd like to watch and I was absolutely shocked that in the millions and millions of videos available online, only a few depicted (vaguely) what I was after (videos with an attractive man whose face you can see, going down on the woman and making her cum for real, genuine intimate chemistry and a healthy, fun dynamic).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:10 PM
3

Am British and I can confirm that the Brits have a terrible reputation abroad for being troublesome, loud drunks. I find it incredibly embarrassing, personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:44 PM
3

Lol, love it 🔥🐲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:29 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:55 PM
1

Any accounts you would recommend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:29 PM
2

How did you guys meet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:18 AM
9

Ok I'm usually not very reactive to the shit I read on the internet, but this literally, quite literally, made my jaw drop. The fuck! He is not fit to be a father, I shudder at the thought of the kind of parent he will be, the kind of partner he will be and how he will raise the poor innocent kid. My heart goes out to the OP, I get the impression she is a strong woman, just going through an awful and vulnerable time ♥️ I'm glad she kicked him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:29 PM
66

Omg this. My ex wanted to avoid a confrontation with the guy who grabbed my ass at a party so kept being buddy-buddy with him in order to keep the peace. I was expecting him to stand up for me and when I saw that he didn't I lost a lot of respect for him. At that moment I realised I had a better chance of defending myself (I'm pretty feisty and not afraid of confrontation when it's warranted) than waiting on this 6ft4 dude to use his tall, white, privilege to call out sexual harassment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 09:34 AM
11

Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:34 PM
23

Damn, can't believe the judge sided with him. Did you get the restraining order you wanted?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:21 PM
11

I'm not dating right now but as part of my vetting strategy I've decided that if I ever get to a point where I'm discussing intimacy with a man and he asks me what I like I'm going to tell him, "I like plain vanilla sex, sex that is gentle and slow and loving. I like receiving massages and long foreplay before any penetration. I also like having at least 2 orgasms before penetrative sex." Then I'll observe his reaction to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:44 PM
13

Has anybody come across men who refuse to kiss you after you've given them a blow job? I remember hearing about this and thinking it was fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:38 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:03 PM
5

This is the exact same epiphany that I had today! I realised that my desire to always be liked was counter productive to my need to be heard, respected and taken seriously. Trying to be liked makes me compromise on things I shouldn't compromise on, it makes my bite toothless. My friend once said to me, 'There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to choose between being liked and being respected.' I try to remember that when I feel bad about not being 'nice'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:17 PM
6

Read up on attachment styles, you sound like you probably have an anxious attachment style and he sounds like he's got an avoidant attachment style. You get anxious and end up chasing him, and he pulls away because he's avoidant and the cycle continues. You get addicted to the high and lows of an unstable relationship. Thankfully our attachment styles are not permanent. You want to try and develop a secure attachment style and you can achieve this by reading around the topic and going to therapy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:39 PM
3

This is actually a really interesting point. I studied anthropology at university and an argument one could make is that our values are expressed through the social currency or system that is reflective of our times. So, if we're living in a religion based culture, we'll find a way to justify our values through religion. Likewise, if we're living in a science based culture, we'll find a way to justify our values through science. Just like what happened with the 'science' of eugenics back in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:27 AM
10

When I first read this I had to put the book down and take a second with my thoughts. I hate that the male gaze has infiltrated even my own psyche and that so much mental energy goes towards navigating this very concept. What a waste of perfectly good mental resources.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 09:31 AM
3

Omg, I am dead ☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:01 AM
4

As someone who hasn't reached 30 yet and has definitely internalised negative ideas around women over 30, can you ladies please offer some support and tell me why you enjoy being over 30 and what life changes you have witnessed? It's definitely an age I'm dreading and I don't want to feel this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:49 AM
13

I remember when I was at uni, I was a 21 year old virgin and my classmate advised that I just find 'some random dude to hook up with and get it over with.' Even then I had the common sense to tell her that I wasn't interested in traumatising myself just to 'get it over with'. I said I'd want to find a man who would respect me and allow me to discover, over time, things about my body and my pleasure. A year later I had sex with my then boyfriend (I made him wait like 6 months before I was comfort…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:34 PM
14

Really sorry you went through that hun * offers you a virtual hug *. It sounds like the experiences he put you through may have caused you sexual trauma. Have you ever considered going to therapy? It really helped me. Also, there are men out there who are gentle, patient and kind. I'm sorry you had to live through what that pig put you through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:59 PM
41

I love how there is a bunch of supportive women offering support and validation for this imaginary scenario loool. Love this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:24 PM
179

Yeah seriously, the middle of a mall is such an embarrassing place to propose or be proposed to!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:20 PM
3

This is what I'm saying, I think they believe their own bullshit too! That's why I said they don't have the self awareness to realise it's what they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 08:55 PM
5

Ahhh I love this and the A-mazing pun on the card haha. Congrats girl! 🎉🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:27 AM
44

I've come to the realisation that many men will future fake in order to impress a woman they like, without even having the self awareness to realise that they're future faking and that they don't want what they say they want in the future with you. Deep down, they do know. They know they don't want kids, but you do. They know they don't want to get married, but you do. BUT in the moment when they're infatuated with you and they're trying to win you over, lust convinces them that they can see a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:20 PM
26

When the legal system fails women like this it almost makes you wish someone would lock him outside on a balcony in sub zero weather...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 08:53 PM
35

Damn, I had no idea and I'm pretty sure I had internalised some of these harmful stereotype as a young girl. Thanks for shedding light on this issue/ on the malewashing of female spaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:24 PM
3

Is there someone higher up in Reddit that we can report this to? Or even a news outlet to report this to? How can we get Reddit to change these moderators? I mean you can't have self proclaimed MRAs in charge of running a sub about feminism... Edit: Not sure if it's obnoxious to do so but I wanted to thank the kind stranger that gave me silver!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:23 AM
22

A colleague once grabbed my ass at our end of year work Christmas party. I shamed him publicly, called him out for it. Yeah, no other male colleagues tried to grab me, or even go near me again. Once they know you won't take shit, they avoid you like the plague and it's such a relief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:14 AM
11

This gave me a good chuckle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:50 AM
1

Sorry to hear about what you went through. Stay strong and find a therapist to work through your trauma with, if you can. ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:48 AM
16

In my experience, LV men are uncomfortable with me being both attractive and intelligent. I don't say that to brag; sometimes LV women also resent me for this as I think it makes them feel inadequate. Over time I've learned to hide certain aspects of my personality to 'fit in'. I try to come across as neutral as possible now, lest I provoke a witch hunt (i.e. people bitching about you). An intelligent man is worthy of respect and is a leader. An intelligent woman is deeply unpopular. Regardless,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:29 AM
27

Haha I'm glad! I tried learning guitar as a teen and I definitely felt imposter syndrome at the time. The good thing now is that there are so many female guitarists you can watch on YouTube and it's inspiring to see them kicking ass. I didn't have the luxury of those examples when I was younger. YouTube wasn't that popular at that time and guitar was very much a 'male' domain. It was quite intimidating but I hope you don't succumb to the same insecurities that I did. Go forth and rock out 🤘👩‍🎤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:45 PM
136

For real. I was watching an interview with King Princess the other day and she was talking about how she gave up on guitar for a while because she didn't feel as good as all the white male guitarists she knew. She went back to learning guitar when she realised that, in hindsight, all those guys were mediocre as hell guitarists despite how confident they were. In the interview she said something along the lines of, "I aim to be a woman with the confidence of a white man who plays guitar" and that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:08 PM
13

You know, I think that sort of bittersweet ending is so much more poignant and memorable in a movie, even your description of it is giving me a vibe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:56 PM
9

Ahh hell no. That's cause to break up right there and then. She's so young, I hate seeing these young girls being traumatised on the DL because you know that what she learns now is probably going to be the foundation of her future relationships. I hope she gets out of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:27 PM
1

Lol wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:13 PM
5

Love this 💓💓👏👏 It fills me with so much happiness to see women owning their worth and living their best lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:27 AM
2

Interesting food for thought! Thanks for sharing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:15 AM
6

Is it expected for women to put scents up there? I've never heard of this. I was always told scented stuff was bad for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:14 PM
61

I think sometimes when we get frustrated at the slow pace of progress on women's rights, we have to remember that it wasn't that long ago that a woman couldn't open up a bank account without requiring consent from her husband. A woman I know (in her 60s) had this experience and told me about it. As a younger person (in my late 20s), I always had the impression that feminism had been around for ages, and the modern interpretation of feminism (where we're meant to get equal pay, can get a divorce,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:18 PM
15

Is this a US thing? I've never heard of this happening in the UK but maybe I'm being a luddite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 09:43 PM
170

Oh my god. I've been trying to find the words to express this lately 😭😂 I'm a damn catch, and love the idea of writing poetry for someone, or doing nice things for them, or even putting on a show in bed. Yeah...none of these people deserve it. They don't even have the frame of reference for this kind of love, or the spiritual foundation to conceive of the kind of love I'm talking about. They're all like 'hey I'm open to a relationship but looking for something casual first.' Like ok, gtfo lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:32 PM
16

Jesus that last sentence was a gut punch and now I'm ugly crying while sitting on the toilet 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:04 PM
11

I smell an eventual divorce on the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:50 PM
11

Omg I want to give you a standing ovation 👏😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:40 PM
11

I've done martial arts on and off for about 20 years now (kickboxing, karate, Krav Maga). I love it, but I would never try to use it in a conflict unless it was a life or death situation and I had no other choice. My first instinct would be to not engage and to get away from the danger as soon as possible. When you take martial arts classes, you realise how easy it is to hurt yourself and to hurt others. This is often overlooked when you're in a conflict situation, hyped up on adrenaline and fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:25 PM
12

With respect, I won't go into her health problems on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:03 PM
59

My mum got breast implants and now she massively regrets it. Firstly, the surgeon didn't even ask her what size she wanted and just decided to stick in a D cup. My mum is 5 ft 3 and a petite woman and her breasts are too heavy for her. She really doesn't like them, they cause her discomfort and don't even sit right on her chest. She has other health complications too so she can't remove them. It's made me appreciate my own natural boobs a lot more. I used to think they were too small but I'm rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:01 PM
2

Thank you 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:50 PM
5

Yes I think this is the conclusion I also came to. I do it for myself, because I enjoy it. The older I get the more I realised you can't control what others think. I place less emphasis on the value of other people's opinions as time goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:36 PM
3

This isn't something I've 'achieved' per se, but I am proud of it and I don't really talk about it because I believe you should be a good person for the principle of it and not because you're trying to earn social brownie points by bragging about it. I haven't told anybody who knows me in real life about this but I'll share it here: I set up a monthly donation to a women's domestic abuse shelter charity. This charity is helping women during the pandemic. I also make a monthly donation to Doctor'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:05 AM
3

Yo, that was a banger 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:44 AM
9

"I'm going to get tested for Covid." "Oh you have Covid?" "No." 🤔🤔🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:37 AM
20

Having only previously, vaguely known of Plath as the 'author who committed suicide', I was so surprised at how relatable I found The Bell Jar when I finally got around to reading it earlier this year. Her metaphor of the fig tree is so powerfully and acutely truthful, it was cathartic to read. That woman was smart as hell and my opinion is that she couldn't bear to face the hypocrisy, sexism and banality of the world around her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:11 AM
39

I agree with what you're saying, however, I also struggle with the question of...what is the best way to be sexual and empowered without pandering to the male gaze? Is it to cover up and play into respectability politics? Is it to undress and own your body and display your sexual attractiveness however you like? I like to sing and dance and I love expressing my sexuality when I'm performing...how can I enjoy what I'm doing while also demanding respect? Especially if what I'm doing is sexy and pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 02:47 AM
71

Woah, I have a new found level of respect for this film now. I always loved that they had a strong female lead but this tidbit of information is additionally awesome. Edit: the more I think about this, the more I think the whole thing is an extended metaphor for turning the tables on men. I mean, even the facehugger looks like a vagina, the alien they're dealing with is a mother, the aliens get hatched out of eggs, which is a symbol of female fertility. So interesting! Thanks for sharing this in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:40 PM
3

Absolutely! It's quite depressing, really. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:53 AM
21

Saammeee gurll. Ever since I went to therapy to get my shit together and also started reading more around the topic I came to the shocking realisation that like 99% of people on this planet (regardless of gender) need some serious therapy and asap. I wonder how therapists cope with it all. They must see a world full of mental health issues wherever they turn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:26 PM
10

This was gross to read. I never went round to my ex-bf's house unless he cleaned it before I came. That was my expectation and he knew it lol. He would always hoover (vacuum) and tidy up, change the bedsheets and do the laundry before I visited him otherwise I'd be shaming his ass. I was vocal about my expectations and vocal about my disappointment if his standards slipped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 01:14 PM
3

I was quite frustrated with a guy I was dealing with at the time. I was infatuated and wanted strategic advice on how to go about attracting him without sacrificing my dignity. I literally ended up Googling 'female dating strategy' not realising there was a sub by the same name. I discovered this sub and ended up devouring ALL of the posts, the handbook and advice within a few days. By the end of it I was over the guy (and my pick me ways) and had a rekindled passion for feminism which I long th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:42 PM
49

I've been more careful about this and went from wanting to be friends with literally EVERYONE (cringe), to being more selective with who I make an effort for and consider a friend. FDS has had that effect on me as I now vet people from colleagues to dentists to new acquaintances in a similar way to how I would vet a potential romantic partner i.e. by asking are they providing value to my life? Do they respect me? Are they invested in my happiness? Do they make an effort for me? In hindsight, the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:19 PM
6

Forgive my ignorance but I didn't quite understand her points. Can someone give me an ELI5?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:51 PM
1

Long distance relationship - he lives in Canada and I live in the UK. We had plans to move in together but it just wasn't feasible because I have family commitments and a great career in the UK. We broke up when the pandemic happened because we knew it would be impossible to see each other and I didn't want to move abroad and start from scratch in a new country, far away from my family. There were other issues too. When we were physically together, he didn't do his fair share of emotional labour…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 04:55 AM
53

You've made me think about something... ...is small dick energy trying to be larger than life and trying to dominate socially? Is big dick energy being quiet and chill, because you have nothing to prove? My last bf was very well endowed and he was not concerned about looking masculine or 'alpha' at all. He was gentle and sweet, not domineering. AM I ONTO SOMETHING HERE??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:25 PM
11

Omg I'm dead ☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:21 PM
14

Doing the lord's work with this comment, preach it sister 😂🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:41 PM
19

Yup, me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:11 PM
15

Everytime they had to ask me if I came. If you don't know, The answer is no. And yet they get so mad if you do it yourself. This reminds me of a poem by Rita Ann Higgins : The Did-You-Come-Yets of the Western World When he says to you: You look so beautiful you smell so nice – how I've missed you – and did you come yet? It means nothing, and he is smaller than a mouse's fart. Don't listen to him... Go to Annaghdown Pier with your father's rod. Don't necessarily hold out for the biggest one; ofte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 02:45 PM
3

That would have been much better. So tired of this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 09:00 PM
15

This is one of the reasons I initially couldn't get past the start of that show. It was too toxic to watch. I was only able to get into it when my friend told me that the show doesn't remain that way and actually shows the changing place of women in society and also the gradual progress of society overall. There is a lot of character growth and story development, and some of the most important characters on the show end up being women (though there is a lot of stressful sexism that they have to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:00 PM
3

Same here! It's so nice to hear about happy older women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:45 PM
16

I've actually completely given up on wearing any makeup for zoom lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:57 PM
27

I don't necessarily agree with this. I get really put off if I don't orgasm, or if a man doesn't see my pleasure as important. I'm not a sex charity, I'm not going to forgo my pleasure just for 'the connection'. The pleasure is part of what forms the connection and he better be making my legs shake, multiple times over. Edit: I feel like I should add that OP's comment seems to be based on the fact that she doesn't cum every time with her partner (OP, I'm not trying to attack you or make you feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:10 PM
15

I also feel like women who don't live with men are spared this drop in libido because, by virtue of living separately, they're not having to do any of the emotional labour of running the house for the man, which would be the case if they lived together. I also think that men continue to chase and feel invested in a partner when the woman can easily choose not to spend time with them. When living together, the woman has no where else to go, the man doesn't need to impress her so much (if he think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 04:37 PM
3

Case in point Jacinda Arden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:23 PM
6

Yes there are men out there like that. My ex was one such man (broke up with him for separate reasons but while we were together there was zero drama because he would never push my buttons like that).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 09:52 PM
42

I hate it when men talk like this. If you don't want me to tolerate BS then don't bring the BS to the relationship. Don't pretend that you'll only respect me if I put up resistance to you, while knowing FULL WELL what you're doing is not ok. I don't want to constantly be on my toes, anxiety ridden, making sure I'm putting you in your place in order to gain a modicum of respect from you. That sounds exhausting. I want a love where respect is a naturally assumed foundation of a healthy relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:52 PM
17

This 100%. Her friend was holding the driver's hand while he was driving. While he was driving. WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:38 PM
3

I'd also like to know, I think your comment has been deleted again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:43 PM
2

Loooooooooolllll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:20 PM
4

Love a bit of geeky theory, thanks for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:39 PM
14

Does anyone else ever get into a massively poetic daydream about finding the right man, a man who is poetic and feels deeply and is just like Hozier is willing to exhalt his partner? Y'all, this lockdown has me feeling all sorts of ways and it doesn't help that my libido has flown off the charts. I share a room with my sister so can't get much quality alone time (if you know what I mean), but more than that I'm really missing having a spiritual and physically intimate connection with someone. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:45 PM
2

Lol, what about 'home digger'?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:25 PM
97

What I found interesting was that for men the top searches for 'teen' (yuck) were right up there with searches for 'milf' and 'mom'. I guess this reiterates that the wall isn't really a problem for women. Also, on a completely different note, the whole step mom/sister/dad thing is totally weird to me. Family is family, incest is gross...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:12 PM
5

Oh my god, STOP. This is making me feel disgusted. You can tell he's bullshitting on the spot, just from his tone of voice alone. I hope this girl gets out of there, he is absolute trash!! He's already making her feel crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 03:24 PM
3

I got offended and ready to walk out of that car door and I'm not even in the situation 😂 I was ready to YEET.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 03:20 PM
9

Can we come up with a term for men who dig for women's emotional labour? If a term like that doesn't already exists? I feel like it needs to be catchy, something people will understand and that we can push into the mainstream narrative. Like, 'oh you think I'm a gold digger? I think you're an emotional labour digger.' (But something less of a mouthful, catchier).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:23 PM
1

Oh don't get me wrong, I've always been a people pleaser. That's one thing I think I sort of missed out on, that is, being naughty and pushing boundaries. My mum was always hovering over me and wouldn't accept any naughty behaviour. It meant I was a great kid to raise (for my parents), but I could have done with not being raised as such a people pleaser and I wish I had questioned/ rebelled against authority a bit more. I wish I could have assumed my own agency more because now I have a habit of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:18 PM
2

Hmm I think it was a mix of receiving very good parenting and my own personality/ intrinsic values. (Sorry this is a bit of a long reply...) My parents raised me in a way that gave me a lot of confidence and exposure to different scenarios from a young age. They would always encourage me to do extracurriculars, or public speaking, or sing a song on stage or read a lot etc. Stuff that is quite formative in your young years. My mum was a STAHM who doted on me and my dad would always give us confid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 11:19 PM
8

What you're feeling is totally normal. Wanting him, still hoping he'll realise the error of his mistakes and sweep you off your feet in a grand romantic gesture, logically realising that's not likely to happen, feeling anxious and constantly thinking about him. Feeling lustful, feeling resentful, feeling obsessed and annoyed. Feeling like you're in a daze, wanting him and missing him but knowing he's no good for you. It's ok. It'll pass and one day it'll be nothing more than a resentful memory. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:30 AM
5

This is such a good way of putting it. Basically it's men overselling their CV to get the job 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 12:25 AM
35

Guys always say this but also like...complain that they get no matches online and they can't find a girl. It's like Schrödinger's dick, both getting sex and not being able to get any sex at all. Which is it? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:52 PM
55

Sending you hugs and love and support. I'm sorry for your loss ♥️♥️😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:41 PM
2

So, update for you! I asked him aaanddd... A bit of back story first: We had been chatting for about 3-4 weeks. He had been in Poland then in the mandatory 14 day quarantine period when he came back so we had never had a chance to meet in person. Things were going well and he had been messaging very promptly but I'm glad I tempered my expectations. I said to myself, 'The real test will be when he leaves quarantine and he has other distractions. Will he still be as responsive?' The answer was a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:50 PM
3

Praying for you Queen 🙏👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:39 PM
3

This is exactly how I approach dating now too. Objectively. I'm curious to know though, what do you mean by 'overqualified?'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:36 PM
9

You can do this! You're strong ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:16 PM
53

So many single mums/ married women don't have the luxury of being 'depressed'. They still look after their kids and hustle as hard as they can to meet their responsibilities. I don't want to sound insensitive because of course depression is terrible but it's funny how women are expected to just get on with it regardless of their mental health, whereas for men it's seen as this massive mental health crisis and a public health concern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:37 PM
6

Would this be too meta if I put this as one of my pictures on my OLD profile? 😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:27 PM
16

My manager does this. She owns her own house, divorced her ex husband and now refuses to live with another man again. She has a bf she sees when she wants to. I think I'd also want a similar set up but I also want kids and living in two houses may be impractical. If anybody has any ideas on how this could work let me know 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:03 PM
41

This might be slightly unrelated but one of the reasons I broke up with my boyfriend was because he snored LOUDLY every night. He'd sleep the sleep of kings, and I'd keep waking up throughout the night. We had been thinking about a future and marriage but, short of sleeping in two separate rooms, I thought it would be totally unsustainable for me to be sleep deprived for the rest of my life. That's valuing my health over a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:39 PM
61

Absolutely. I walked away from a guy, probably THE most attractive man I have ever known, because he was trash. He was physically my type, intelligent, financially savvy, and smelled so good. His smell smelled like infatuation itself (it's crazy how that works). He was also extremely attracted to me. But he was manipulative, had mummy and daddy issues and was extremely LV. I had infatuation withdrawal for about a year but I never went back to him. I can worship a man and still walk away. Edit: T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 11:33 AM
87

One of my friends doesn't understand this. She thinks that just because I find a mutual friend attractive that I should pursue something with him. Firstly, I don't pursue. Secondly, yeah he's physically my type but he's also trash so I'm swerving on that. I can appreciate him from afar while I find a decent dude thank you very much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:24 AM
5

Do you mean they can care about the guy but still choose themselves? 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:07 AM
6

Oh gosh thankfully someone said it. Paris is SO dirty. The subways smell of piss, the city is just grimy. When I went, there were homeless people on every corner (not trying to be a snob but it's clear the city had a problem), and the people are so incredibly rude. I was almost attacked twice, men cat called a lot, I was shouted at, called a whore, I was followed (by two men)! Pretty sure someone tried to sell us drugs on a train. I was in a group of 3 people, one being a guy who knew how to spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 06:32 PM
12

Ok yes, I will marry Hozier. I mean, it'll be difficult, but I'll take one for the team! 😂 Edit: I want a guy to write a moody, romantic song in honour of me. I shall be his muse, and he shall serenade me. There may also be people fanning me with palm leaves - I'm still working out the full details.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 03:10 PM
11

Sounds exhausting. It's not a problem to have differing viewpoints (within reason), however, it is a problem that you can't have a discussion around these differing viewpoints without it ending in an argument. He didn't respect your need for space and wasn't empathetic to the emotional labour this discussion involved for you. Seems silly, but I can't fuck with men who feel a need to 'win' arguments instead of sitting back and trying to understand the other person. You don't have to agree but you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:00 PM
34

Yeah I agree with this. Men with high status want women with high status. People don't realise that the lifestyle these people live is very niche. You either have experience and understanding of the lifestyle (and all the cultural and social etiquette that goes with it), or you don't, and you're not part of that circle. They don't want an average Jane off the street who has no context of fine dining, dinner etiquette, luxury fashion, private member's clubs, art galleries, theatre, ballet, old mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:27 PM
18

I've just been reflecting on my life and I have to say, young me (7-18) was so wise. Wise and HV beyond her years. This might sound egotistical but I'm retroactively impressed at my young self lol. When I was younger I decided that girl's magazines were trash. I stopped buying them and consuming all the pick me messaging in them. I avoided boys because I saw how immature they were and focused entirely on my education and levelling up (I didn't know what 'leveling up' was at the time but I did it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:02 PM
10

Saving this post - this critique is so poetically raw. I love your writing style, you really put into words how so many women feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:21 PM
7

I'm not even Christian but I love that bit in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) that says 'Love is patient, love is kind.' I always remind myself of that and use it as a measuring aid to assess how I feel around whoever I'm dating (e.g. am I infatuated and chasing or do I feel valued? Is he patient and kind? Do I feel stable and taken care of around him?) It's very grounding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:56 AM
19

This is where being confident in your own values, standards and resisting patriarchal peer pressure is important. Society is full of people (men and women) encouraging you to act against your own best interest, but most people crumple under the pressure and conform.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:41 AM
10

This is exactly the case for me too - I used to really enjoy the feeling of infatuation but now it's a warning sign for me. Going through the highs and lows is exhausting and I find myself not being so interested in experiencing that as I grow older. It's like an addiction, and just because it feels good doesn't mean it's not a pain in the ass (especially when the guy is not right for you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:15 AM
3

Interesting analysis, thanks for this. I decided to act a little bit naive and innocuously asked him to explain to me what an equal relationship looks like to him. I want more information in order to analyse the situation better. I agree that I don't think he liked his ex that much. He said they were in long distance relationship for half a year and it was super difficult for him (muh penis). This is another red flag to me because I was in a long distance relationship for 5 (yes 5 years!) and my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:29 AM
6

To be fair I did see it reported on the news a while back. It was on the BBC, I first heard that domestic violence cases were increasing there. I'm not sure if it's been reported since as I don't watch TV that much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:19 PM
15

Basically that rape and domestic violence cases have soared during the pandemic. The OP had been raped and had gone to the ER, only to be met with a whole line of women who had been raped that night. The medical staff there told her that they had to call in a permanent Dr/ nurse who specialises in rape because of how many rape cases were coming in through the doors. Pretty grim reading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:53 PM
3

You may be able to contact a women's shelter and stay there if you feel unsafe and need to move out. You may want to research the contact details and location of your nearest one and have an escape plan. Maybe pack an emergency escape bag. Don't want to sound like I'm overreacting but I want you to be safe rather than sorry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:47 PM
23

God, this gave me a bad feeling in my gut, OP, is there any way you can move somewhere else? I'm really worried about you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:44 PM
27

Actually, this is something I was thinking about when I was posting the original post. I don't mean to simplify what is a very complex issue, but to me it does seem like a very big factor of what leads to DV or SA is men's inability to deal with stress in healthy ways. It feeds into other things too...think about it. If their wife gets ill they can't deal with the stress, they look outside the marriage. They have children and can't deal with the stress so they play video games all day. Work is s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 03:17 PM
27

God this infuriates me. A recent friend of mine confirmed his LV status in my eyes when he apologised profusely for not being in touch with me sooner. He said, he was so sorry, his uncle had died of Coronavirus so he had been dealing with that. I (being the understanding person that I am) met him with sympathy and asked him if he was ok. His response? "Yeah fine really, it is what it is."...Um what? I was taken aback by his entirely indifferent attitude to his uncle dying. Even worse was his att…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:48 PM
6

So sorry to hear that 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:48 PM
55

Jesus Christ. Thank you for the work you do. After reading that twoX thread this morning and finding out about how demand for these services have soared, I've decided I will donate to a women's shelter and/or domestic abuse helpline. I just need to do some research first. This is a bit of an aside, but I'd like to donate to a wildlife conservation fund as well so if anybody has any recommendations on either of the above then please let me know (I'm based in the UK if that helps).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:41 AM
88

Yes though unfortunately a lot of sexual assault and domestic violence is done by people that women know - their family and friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:15 AM
9

Wow so smart of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:28 AM
1

Thanks for this post! Does anyone in the UK know the best way to perform a background check?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:27 AM
87

Actually, after processing some past trauma, this is exactly the kind of sex I'm trying to find my way back to. Where just the physical presence of someone, or their gentle touch, is enough to turn me the hell on (instead of being desensitised to everything).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:07 AM
25

He needs to go therapy for his massive self esteem issues, ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 01:57 PM
1

Thanks. I like the idea of testing them for their emotional responses to sad/ funny/ cute stories. I'll definitely add that to my vetting repertoire!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 01:50 PM
10

How do we differentiate between good providers, vs. bad providers? By that I mean, good providers = happy to financially help but also wants a woman who has her own life and her own income (because it makes her HV). Bad provider = a man who wants a woman to work and doesn't want to really provide. Wants to split 50/50. I was chatting to this guy who said he broke up with his ex because she wanted the traditional stay at home, cook and look after the house thing, while he wanted a more 'equal' dy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 12:37 PM
1

I'd also like to know about your tests!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:39 AM
2

Hey sis, I'm sending you love and support about your cat. It's such an incredibly painful thing to lose a pet (I used to have a cat and I still miss her). It's normal to burst out into tears at random times (I used to cry at my office desk! Luckily I had supportive co-workers). It's ok to feel better one minute and then feel awful the next. The love never fades away, it endures with you and your sadness, grief and pain are totally understandable. Take care of yourself during this time, and feel …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:35 AM
10

Love this story ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:55 AM
3

That crazy kinks are normal and "fun" and that you're the "cute" and innocent girl in the group, just because you're the only one who never had sex before and think things like "holding hands" is a really special thing to you. (Still hate this one)" As someone who used to be the cute, innocent girl, I used to feel a lot of pressure to have 'interesting' sexual experiences in order to be the cool girl at parties, especially when the game Never Have I Ever was played. I thought being able to drink…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:37 AM
38

Could you elaborate on your policy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:57 PM
2

Same 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:41 PM
1

This is exactly how I'm approaching it too - as a way to raise my standards, take things slower and practice dating if nothing else comes of it. I even wrote on my profile that the best way to take me out is to 'plan an interesting date that is relatively covid safe (also digital first dates are underrated).' I've noticed the amount of likes I get has really reduced which imo means I am weeding out all the low effort guys who can't be bothered to plan a good date or are looking for a quick fuck.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:33 PM
4

God how embarrassing for them to have this conversation so publicly. How demeaning for that man to speak to and about his wife in this way. I wouldn't be surprised if her libido has taken a nose dive because he's not pulling his weight in the relationship. No woman wants to feel like her existence is a chore, especially while she's raising the kids and keeping the house together. He's a class A dickhead. I don't think I could tolerate such disrespect, she should divorce him. She's so gorgeous an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 02:03 PM
7

Ooh I love my quotes: "We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." - Jim Rohn "Holding on is believing that there's only a past; letting go is knowing that there's a future." - Daphne Rose Kingma "The best protection any woman can have is courage." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:42 PM
7

Haha spot on 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:14 PM
7

Haha living for this narrative ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:03 PM
5

No lie I've had her 'Touch Me' remix ft. Kehlani playing on repeat the entire damn week. It's such a good, sensual song. I crave that kind of intimacy with a man - the kind of intimacy where he wouldn't think twice about expressing his appreciation for me through art or song. Write me a poem! Serenade me goddamit! Too bad most creative men are also broke lol. I'm like 98% straight but maybe I should explore my bi side a bit more as I might have better luck finding this kind of connection lol. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:59 PM
29

I'm from the Mediterranean but I have friends from New Delhi - I went to India as an exchange student when I was 17 and the experience was amazing, but even I got comments about how pretty I was because of my 'fair' skin. As someone who's always been fairly aware of the sensitivities around racism, colourism, the cultural impact of the British Empire's colonialism (etc.), it was really weird to hear, especially as I've never been considered fair in the UK (where I live). Suddenly I had all this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:14 PM
25

He's pretty cute. How does he have so much insight into the female dating experience though? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 02:00 AM
33

She's right though, who the fuck wants to be proposed to like that? It's an insult. She wants him, but won't compromise on her standards of how she expects to be treated. That right there is a HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:55 AM
7

I'll admit it, I like a guy with luscious hair. Don't mind a man bun, me (as long as it's well kept and clean). I am slightly bi though so make of that what you will 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:17 PM
3

Don't get me wrong, the gesture is cute but her reaction is problematic for the reasons I outlined above!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 05:49 PM
40

I don't mean to sound like a snob here but y'all need to level up in your finances and your lifestyle and stop being so easily impressed. Buying a few books is not that expensive and you should aim to be in a financial position where a guy being able to afford a few simple books shouldn't set your heart racing. Honestly, raise your expectations! Books aren't that expensive. Raise your standard of living! Be in a position where you can buy yourself some boujie ass jewellery and designer handbags.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 01:09 PM
15

For real, it's so hard to find porn that has an attractive muscley man who goes down on a woman (with the correct technique) until she cums (and cums for real). They just do like...a few token seconds of oral and or rub the clit in a way that makes me cringe and then stick the dick in. I want to see more female centric porn, and by that I mean porn where the guy is hot and you can see his face and body and the woman is genuinely enjoying herself because she's getting serviced in the proper way. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:45 PM
32

This reminded me of something so ridiculous I laugh at it in hindsight. I was close to getting married to my ex. One day, we were talking about our potential future kids and I mentioned I'd like to send them to a language and culture school so they could learn my native language and culture. He (white man, only spoke English) suddenly got into a panic and was dead set against the idea. When I asked him why, he more or less said that he'd be worried that me and our child would talk in my native l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:25 PM
2

That's interesting! I wonder if you could negotiate to have your quota reduced or do something that could help you get an equal footing. There must be other things women should watch out for at work. I wonder if anybody else in HR has such recommendations...!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:19 PM
18

I also like larger dicks. The two guys I've been with have both been approx 8 inches long and decently girthy. I'm a 5 ft 2 petite woman but apparently my vagina is a tardis 🤷 On a related topic, one thing that annoys me is that 99% of vibrators come in the same size. That is, 5.5 inches and not very girthy. Took me ages to find one that was at least 6.25 inches with a rabbit vibe on it. All women are built differently, preferring different sizes, girths, penis shapes etc. Why don't sex toy manu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:13 PM
20

I love a good crygasm where the guy can hold me and make me feel safe in his arms after ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:59 PM
18

Right on point with the 'vicarious learning'! I also went through a similar thing - saw all my friends getting used by boys and having a bad time of it. I learned from their mistakes and didn't need to repeat them myself. I think I could always pin point someone who was up to no good. I don't know where this gut feeling comes from but I've had it since I was a very young child...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:48 PM
21

Love to see it, sis 💜💜💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:37 PM
12

I'm really sorry you went through that. There is nothing wrong with you ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:35 PM
7

If my ex started moping around like this I would probably piss myself laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:15 PM
43

I still want to retire with millions...just saying 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:22 AM
25

At some point I think certain factions of society use dystopian fiction as a template for the future of society. Orwell wanted to warn us with 1984 - the response? Governments thought it was a good idea to be able to track and monitor people through credit cards, social media and cameras. After the Handmaiden's Tale came out as a TV show, I've seen a general shift in the cultural dynamic and more discussions around the idea of forced sex work. It's an insidious change but it's there. I mean it's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:41 AM
3

I needed to hear this, thanks ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:21 PM
34

Haha the same thing happened to me just last night. I'm a bit of a night owl so was awake anyway but this guy who matched with on Tinder messaged me to say 'Out?' at 3:30 am. Even though I'm a night owl I don't message men after a certain hour and I couldn't believe this dude thinking he'd have any success using that opener, at that time, during a pandemic. Like no I'm not out at 3:30 am, I'm not willing to meet some fucking random stranger and especially not if his first message is one word to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:17 PM
141

Did the camera man just incredulously say how is she "going to act like she's never been called a bitch before?" Wtf, you think women should accept being called bitches because you assume men have called them bitches before? And that makes it ok? Get the fuck out of here you fucking wasteman 🗑️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:52 PM
1

I recently got fed up with LV date suggestions and have been trying a different tact on Hinge which is to explicitly state that the best way to ask me out is 'to plan an interesting date that is relatively covid safe (fyi I'm not a big drinker).' Then I also mention that I think digital first dates are underrated in these unsafe times. What do you guys think about this tact? On the one hand I don't want to have to spell out what I expect since guys can fake their value. On the other hand I think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:06 PM
20

I'd like to add smoothbrain to my vocabulary, I hope you don't mind? 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:37 PM
14

I think I could be a psychologist in another life because I love having conversations with people who I have no interest in simply because I love analysing them lol. My undergrad is in anthropology so I think that probably also explains it. I like pretending to be naive to who they are to see exactly what they'll say before I block and delete. I don't know if that's messed up of me but I do have a slightly odd sense of curiosity 😛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:33 PM
7

Wow what an inspiring story, thanks for sharing ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:46 PM
35

I live and grew up in an extremely multicultural neighborhood. I'm not black but my closest friendship group is a group of 4 black women who are from Nigeria, Ethiopia and Ghana. We met at school and we've been friends for over 10 years. Let me tell you ladies, these girls are Queens. They have their shit together, they're strong, they are beautiful (literally SO stunning), they're educated and they're looking to invest in property in the coming future. They're all single. They've got FDS attitu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 03:13 PM
9

Thanks for explaining this, I never really understood the Madonna/ whore complex until now. Reminds me of Don Draper in Mad Men, where his wife Betty is the Madonna and his various side chicks he cheats on her with are the whores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:44 PM
1

I've had a few dreams that have been close but unfortunately no cigar 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:27 AM
23

And you want me, with my genetic background built on the foundation thousands of women before me laid PLUS my lifetime experience of adulting, and get with some shithead who believes his pp is his legacy who can't even wash a dish or watch a child properly? This right here, I often think about how strong my female ancestors were. Fucking badasses to survive what they did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 10:25 PM
16

Yeah it's not been long at all though popular culture would have us believe that it's been long enough and that we're now living in a new world of EquAliTy. The reality is that we are still inheriting the generational inequality, disenfranchisement and trauma of women from the years before. There are men from that era alive today who have taught their sons, who in turn have taught their sons (and so forth) to assume oppressive and toxic behaviours in relationships and in the home. I've seen pick…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 10:23 PM
2

Sorry to hear you're stuck in that situation. Yes the cat life is appealing! 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:45 PM
1

I'm taking a multivitamin complex that gives me 100% of my daily requirements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:15 PM
6

Really good analysis - I think we may have had the same work colleague 😅 I had a crush on a guy at work (this was pre-FDS and I was hella bored and wanted to be infatuated to make work more interesting. I know, I know, I'm an idiot). He was extremely attractive, physically beautiful, fit, piercing blue eyes, tall and very intelligent. He had most of the girls in the office eating out of the palm of his hand and boyy did he know it. He would blow hot and cold with me, which made me turn into the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 06:43 PM
4

I hear ya sis. I don't tend to track my calories but I tend to eat intuitively - for those who don't know what it means it's that I maintain a constant body weight/ I eat according to my body's needs without tracking calories or feeling guilty about my relationship with food. So, I'll eat when I'm hungry only, and if I work out more I eat more. I've been to many fitness assessments and my BMI is always bang in the average middle of where it's meant to be. People always tell me I eat a lot. So mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:32 PM
20

Oh hunny, you are worth so much more, you deserve more. Sex should never be painful and you should not feel pressured to have sex when it doesn't feel pleasurable for you. I'm so sorry you went through that. You may benefit from a) dumping the NVM men in your life (not all men are like that, I've been with men who really want to give me pleasure and stop immediately if I'm in pain), b) going to psychosexual counseling to deal with the trauma 😞 and c) staying out of relationships until you can pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:24 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 08:23 AM
5

Ladies, I'm looking for recommendations for good romantic movies. Any FDS approved suggestions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 09:02 PM
12

All of that, minus the last paragraph about LVM, was so charming to read. It made me feel warm and happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 08:54 PM
6

Yeah I've seen so many comments normalising hitting women and it's so fucked up. I'm a 5ft2 woman and ironically I've felt safest in MMA classes where men have a much better understanding of their physical strength and what the terrible consequences of it can be. You understand how easy it is to injure someone and you feel pretty guilty if you accidentally do. The men I know also don't feel a need to show off because they're all pretty jacked dudes who know they are strong and don't wish to hurt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 08:27 PM
21

I think she's in a really tough spot. As a woman and a POC, she has to come across as unruffled, collected, polite and not rude whereas the other party can play dirty. As sad as it is to say, I think this makes her look weak in the eyes of the uneducated (even if she isn't). I really hope she gets a bit more fiery and passionate but I appreciate it's a hard line to tread between being perceived as passionate and too EmOtiOnaL and CrAzy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:05 PM
23

This is somewhat random but does anybody else hate how all nice underwear seems designed to cater to the male gaze and usually rides up and gives you a wedgie? It's designed to maximize your assets by sitting right up in your butt crack and it is so uncomfortable! I would like nice underwear that is comfortable to wear, that makes me feel womanly without making me feel like I'm on standby for whenever a man decides to undress me (with the implication that if he does, he will be happy to see what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 10:44 AM
19

Somewhat unrelated to dating (well maybe it is) but I feel absolutely EXHAUSTED now that we're moving towards winter. I don't know if it's the change of seasons and the grey weather, I don't know if I'm unknowingly depressed about my breakup (it's been 8 months! Get over it already!)/ being single/ wanting to get laid (I miss sex), I don't know if it's quarantine taking a toll (probably). Work is quite stressful and I find myself giving minimal fucks. I'm not working out anymore. I'm taking vita…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 09:18 AM
4

More hugs ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:10 PM
4

I'm the opposite, I like checking in throughout the day, sharing funny jokes or memes. That's just my personal communication style though, I'm chatty. Doesn't mean I'm not busy. I've got good time management skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:29 PM
16

And as a woman in her 20s I would never ever, ever, ever, EVER, date a man who spoke in such misogynistic terms about women. They usually make themselves known anyway and I swerve hard on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:34 AM
8

Any tips on ascertaining how big his D is? Asking for a friend 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 05:16 PM
25

Absolutely. The saying 'It takes a village to raise a child' is there for a reason. Human societies were a lot more social and intertwined in the past. You'd have extended family members living in close proximity together so your kid could wonder over to another household in the village and be safe. The concept of the nuclear family is a relatively modern one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:55 PM
19

Thanks for explaining it. The funny thing is, I don't find men attractive unless I can see myself having a future with them. That would probably explain my low body count lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:24 PM
5

You've got this, you're stronger than you think 💪💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:20 PM
20

That's not really a sign of a HVM though? FDS doesn't recommend assigning HV status to any man who has not consistently been HV for over 6 months, and even then being careful about it just in case they're faking. Please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 11:32 AM
25

Excuse my ignorance, what does plan B do to your body?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:47 AM
3

Thank you 💜💜 I'm sure I'll take you up on that offer 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:43 AM
21

I need help with this. It's been 8 months and I still feel like crap. It was a 7 year relationship so I guess it'll take time but quarantine and isolation hasn't helped. I still feel so lonely and miss physical affection. It's hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:43 PM
2

Aw it's so nice there is more than one of us! I always thought I was so alone in my feelings like this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:21 PM
35

I'm like you, I love people easily. I love friends, I love animals, I love the goddamn spider on the wall and will let it out instead of killing it. I don't think it is a bad thing, but not many people have the grandness of heart and love to match it or let alone understand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:53 PM
105

I think women end the relationship when they get fed up of all the work and emotional labour. They realise it's less work to be single (even with children) than to be married and taking care of a grown man who doesn't pull his weight around the house. Men end the relationship when it's not sexually satisfying for them any more (usually after the woman gets fed up of being a bang maid and the marriage ends up with a 'dead bedroom'). Even then, it's usually the woman who initiates the divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:19 PM
11

I don't know if I'm being suuuuuper judgmental and superficial but like...I just get a bad energy from him, bad JuJu. His face is one not of kindness...and then he started speaking and made her sexual assault about him and his feelings, like he was having trouble reconciling the fact that the woman he loves is damaged goods... His face though...bad vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:28 PM
32

I watched that documentary and wanted to cry at parts. This is evidence of my own ignorance but I'm a Brit and I wasn't too aware of who she was beyond the 'Notorious RBG' memes that were on the periphery of my awareness. That documentary made me appreciate her a whole lot more, especially as I identify with being a petite, soft spoken woman who is steely and has career ambitions beneath a very unintimidating exterior. The part where she was looking after her sick husband, raising her daughter a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:11 AM
8

I feel like in a system that oppresses women so badly, the MIL become the perpetrators of the very same oppression they received as brides because it is the only socially sanctified way for them to have a position of authority, or power, over another person and it be seen as 'normal', and as extension of their roles in the domestic sphere. In the absence of power, any small amount of power, even if it's power over another woman (and the ability to make her miserable and your domestic slave), fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:34 AM
3

"Oh Joe! I really want to make this work!" ROFL. Maybe I should watch that show 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:17 AM
3

Please can you send me the chapter? I'd like to read it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:14 AM
5

ARGH. Literally my reaction. Fucking fuming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:12 AM
3

I think you mean HVW (High Value Woman). ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 02:02 PM
6

Jesus Christ, are you ok? That's crazy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:05 AM
40

I'm hoping this isn't real because I refuse to believe (or am in denial about) how many stupid people there are in this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 01:05 AM
8

Me too 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 10:00 PM
12

This is the worst acting I've ever seen. "Think of the children!!" Got me cracking up over here 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:36 PM
10

Yass, I think your list is my list. I used to think I was pretty left wing but over time I realised that I couldn't stand my then boyfriend (who was more left wing than I) moaning on and ON about 'the capitalist system' and how it was broken and using that to justify never having any ambitions because 'the system is rigged anyway, there is no winning.' That mentality frustrated the hell out of me so much that I was ready to do a 180 and date a fucking old money conservative just so I didn't have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:27 PM
16

Haha I live in the UK and the men here are definitely below average in looks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:48 PM
4

Literally said this in response to a guy who commented on my OLD pics. He said "I like the way you fill out those dresses, you look good 😍" I was like "I know", then unmatched him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:48 AM
6

Oh I do that for other loved ones too. I don't alienate myself from my friends or make the guy my only focus. He certainly is not my only focus!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:06 AM
13

Yoo I accidentally ran out of my birth control pill after 5 years of using it. When I came off the pill it was like waking the f*ck up. ALL the hormones and feelings came rushing back. I felt connected to my femininity, I felt connected to my sexuality, I felt more primal, I felt the desire to have children, I felt more powerful. I never realised my BC was suppressing all of that; putting me into a false lull where, what I can only describe as my female biological messages, weren't reaching my c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 10:30 PM
8

Thank you. I definitely need to take a back seat and let them do things for me (and cut out the ones that don't)! Saved your comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:23 PM
33

I definitely understand this on an intellectual level, but I don't yet understand it (and am trying to understand it) on an emotional level. And that is because one way I show love to someone is to do acts of service, cook, cater to them etc. I want them to be happy. Not doing this feels like shutting off a part of my personality. HOWEVER, I also know where that road leads...the road to resentment and servitude, which is why I am really trying to remove myself from these ingrained habits and act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 07:30 PM
8

Ah fair, I must have misread that part. I feel really sorry for her 😞😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:19 PM
3

I agree, the "always ready to take care of my family" mentality is extremely attractive!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:57 PM
37

Also why was she even telling him about it if she suspects it was him?? I wouldn't be saying things like 'I hope they get caught' if I was afraid for my safety and life. He probably knows she's gone to the police too. God.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:36 PM
2

Hahahah are you meee? Like for real, I wear my reusable N99 mask, goggles and a face shield when I leave the house. My mask is black and has grills in it so I look like Darth Vader 😂😂😂 Some people here don't even wear a basic cloth or medical mask even though it's compulsory and they look at me like I'm an idiot. I in turn think they're so idiotic and inconsiderate to not wear a mask that it infuriates me. My news sources were also from Reddit and it's a really great example of how amazing Reddi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:20 PM
8

That's pretty impressive. I live in a city and in an apartment so we really had to utilise what space we had in order to stock up on bottled water, essential supplies and food. We're experiencing a second wave at the moment but I had already stocked up again during the summer before people started panic buying a second time. I'd love to be able to grow my own food and have a homestead one day but I appreciate it takes a lot of work and being self sufficient is not for everyone! I like growing ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:55 PM
24

I really like this. I wonder if this sub has a higher ratio of HVM. The idea of keeping you and your loved ones safe in the event of an emergency seems like a HV trait. I started prepping when I realised covid was going to be a big concern. This is before the general public had clued in and I had about a month's headstart to prep for things like N99/P3 facemasks, tinned food, essential items, hand sanitiser, toilet paper (lol), latex gloves, bleach, the lot. Basically everything that was not ava…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 02:44 PM
3

How did the universe align for you? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:57 PM
7

Is there a link to the post?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:47 PM
6

I used to be in an open relationship with two men. One was my main partner who I shared everything with emotionally, but he was long distance, and the other was a guy who I just went to for casual sex, who knew about my situation with my then bf (obviously the bf knew about him too). It was liberating and fun while it lasted, and I never got attached to my fwb, but ultimately I realised I was tired of having a long distance relationship and wanted someone who could offer me everything (emotional…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:41 PM
3

You must be getting inundated with these requests but if you don't mind could you please PM me too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:04 PM
9

Amazing. Your mum is made of stern stuff. It's not easy to care for a dying family member and turn that into a career. She must be mentally very strong. Wish her luck from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 10:49 AM
7

I used to know a guy at uni who was so condescending and self righteous. He would turn any innocent discussion into an opportunity for 'debate' (read: an argument where he'd use it as an opportunity to talk down to me or make an example of how 'intellectually superior' he was). He once had a go at me for asking a waitress why a shot of soya milk was so expensive. The conversation devolved into an argument that lasted for about two hours! I didn't let him bully me and always stood my ground which…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:44 PM
5

Actually forgot to ask, from an FDS perspective (and assuming you work too), what's it like raising children and working at the same time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:37 PM
7

Thanks for sharing your experience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:36 PM
6

Thanks for this. Reading this honestly nourished my soul. I'm going to save this thread and come back to it to remind me of what I'm looking for. Wishing you both continued health and happiness going forward ☺️♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:14 PM
24

Are your partner's friends single? Asking for a friend...😂😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:50 AM
6

What's it like having kids? I think I want children one day but probably only if I can have a doting partner and a stable financial income.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:36 AM
4

I don't know if there is any science behind it but I sure do appreciate receiving gifts 😂💅👛💲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:25 PM
5

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:26 PM
1

You are so wise 🥰 Yeah I really hope she doesn't end up on broken moms. He doesn't want children so hopefully that won't be the case. I know he hasn't changed at all (how could he)? One thing I definitely need to work on is divorcing myself from the idea that my self value depends on how men (or anyone else) perceive me. I used to be really good at this and I'm not sure how I slipped back into these bad habits of feeling more insecure. I know this is not who I am, I'm very confident and have a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:13 PM
9

While cooking certain recipes is not super complex I appreciated the post because he showed initiative to learn it with the sole purpose of making his wife happy. From what I understand, he also practiced his recipe a number of times to get it right and cooks it when she's feeling stressed. I think it's not about how complex the recipe is but about a man being thoughtful and considerate of his partner's stress levels and food preferences, AND making the concerted effort to do things that make he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:46 AM
3

I'll check it out, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:20 AM
10

Haha aw no! Still, that's very sweet of him (I'm a big plant mummy so this resonates with me especially).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:18 PM
8

Wow, you just made me reconsider this from a whole different perspective...that maybe he really couldn't deal with the pain. The girl he's seeing now is definitely a pick me. She's a mutual friend (who's dead to me now 😂), she knew we had been together for over 5 years and started seeing him three months after we broke up. I think most women would have been cautious of being his rebound but apparently not her. Either way, they're a thing now 🤷 I definitely love learning. Did you do a degree befo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:06 PM
10

Congrats gurl! It's amazing you did that degree. It's something I'm kinda wondering whether I should go back to do (am 28). To be honest with you I'm also slightly relieved it's over (I broke it off), but he was my best bf by far so it was very difficult to do. I have a penchant for the emotional and dramatic (not in a toxic drama way but in a feeling things passionately and deeply kinda way) and I thought to myself 'Is that it? You replaced me in 3 months? You didn't grieve or write poetry or f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:23 PM
27

Aw he gave you a baby plant? 😍😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:07 PM
7

True! One thing I've always had trouble switching off is my thinking brain. I have quite a lot of trouble getting into the moment and aligning my mind with my body. Granted, I'm somewhat inexperienced but I acknowledge it's something I need to work on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:47 PM
12

I like the idea of making him work for it and for having the self discipline to stick to what my body needs. I usually rush it because I want to have sex straight away, even if I'm physically not relaxed enough yet. Thanks for the advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:57 PM
17

Rushing through foreplay is something I struggle with. Any tips on how not to rush?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:02 PM
87

Looool, as someone who has been feeling a little resentful of the fact that my ex started dating another girl so soon after we broke up, this made me laugh. It's true though, he ain't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:47 PM
3

Don't forget drinking so much that it ages them prematurely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:01 PM
7

I've been ruminating on whether I should move to the NL (for reasons unrelated to dating). What's the dating scene like there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:34 PM
10

We also need to spread the knowledge that while, yes men can father babies in their 50s, the quality of their sperm starts dropping drastically after the ages of 35-40. This means that there is an increased risk of creating babies with birth defects or health issues. It's also probably more dangerous for the woman, to give birth to a baby like that. Men definitely need to understand their own biological boundaries and optimal fertility years more than they currently do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:29 PM
11

Oh my god I'm dying 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:19 PM
1

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:12 PM
23

The ring is ugly. I said what I said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:55 PM
5

I'm doing this at the moment. I'm ultimately dating to find a relationship but I'm trying not to put pressure on myself and treating it as a learning process instead. I've already made and learned from some dating mistakes. I'm trying to improve my 'game' (for lack of a better word) since I am quite inexperienced and rusty with dating. That's not to say I am stupid or naive, but I do still think I need more exposure to the dating scene to be a bit more quick on my feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:24 PM
5

Maybe we need to create an FDS dating scene that spans generations. Like, this generation of FDS/ HV parents let their kids mingle and meet with the kids of other HV FDS parents when they're of age and looking for a high quality spouse. Kind of like matchmaking with a selection of people who respect FDS principles lol. Of course this will probably never happen because of safety concerns around meeting, but one can dream of a better dating scene for future generations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:04 PM
4

Yeah it was fascinating to watch! I knew the guy who ghosted (Vinny? I think?) was not into her the first time he ghosted and she shouldn't have given him a second chance (I think everybody who is an FDSer would know this). What kind of excuse is 'I was doing hot yoga and then I got dehydrated and needed to have a drip put in?' Seems way too dramatic and if it had really happened and he had been interested he would have sent a follow up apology text to explain the situation and made an effort to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:28 PM
1

ARGHHHGGHHHH bangs head on table out of frustration What the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:59 PM
12

I can't stand that mansplaining look he's got in his eyes (at around 20 seconds) like he's talking a child through basic concepts. That's the look I see on men who believe women are stupid, irrational, crazy, bitches and other sexist beliefs. Glad she mentioned the friendzone, swerve him sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:49 PM
2

With respect, people want to meet in person because they want to see if they are physically attracted to them in real life. Video calls, while great for making sure you're not being catfished, don't allow you to see how tall they are, how they're dressed, how they carry themselves, what they smell like, how fit and healthy they are and how much in person chemistry or attraction you have. Edit: I should clarify that yes I agree that meeting with a man can be risky business for a woman and men pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:24 PM
3

It's been a mixed bag to be honest with you. I feel like we can be friends because we had actually dated previously, broke up for 5 years and stayed as friends during that time, before dating again this time around (for another 5 years). I broke up with him at the start of lockdown because he lives in another country and travel is impossible. He was also starting to be a couch potato and didn't want kids, whereas I'm very hard working and probably want a family some day. We gave each other time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:41 PM
18

This is exactly how I feel too. I think people assume I'm too nice or naive because I lead with love and am well intentioned. I am not naive, and at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I think I'm smarter than most people. I just don't rub it in people's faces. I too was raised in a culture of hospitality and I've had the same experience with men who just don't get the cultural context. Like no, homie, I don't want to suck your dick, I am just being a nice person because this is how I was raised.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:46 PM
142

I think that's totally gross, however, I am also tickled by the hypocrisy that men find it gross that she was with someone so young, while they at the same time glamorise older men sleeping with younger women. I've heard about many a man dating women who are in the same age range as their daughters....🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:35 PM
8

Yeah I feel you on that. I digested FDS all throughout quarantine and felt like I had few f*cks left to give. Recently, I had to go back to the office. My job involves branding merchandise and I usually have a stash of merch that people ask me for. One day, a colleague came to me asking me for a bag we weren't giving out (it was for a specific project). I said 'I'm sorry, those are for X project and we're not giving them out yet.' He said, 'What so I'm not allOwEd to have them?' (surprised/ whin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:04 AM
10

It's not just the Birkins for sure, the Kelly bags also do, and so do the classic Chanel bags!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:54 AM
3

I had to Google this and, if I understood correctly, it's someone who prays on behalf of someone else. Correct me if I'm wrong y'all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:02 PM
10

I was watching Indian Matchmaking and giving a running commentary of what I thought to my friend (who happens to be an ex). For those of you who don't know, the matchmaker matches a really hard working woman who has an A-type personality and is a lawyer, with a guy who has a podcast and is 7 years older than her (in his 40s). It comes out on the date that he's been living with his family and hasn't had much of an income until a few years ago. He admitted pretty much to not having a career and ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:11 AM
2

I swoon for Dwight ❤️ Poldark is trash tho, literally cheated so many times and was so irresponsible with everything. I had to stop watching that show because I couldn't deal. Aiden Turner is a bae though 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 10:20 PM
2

Absolutely, thank you for your lovely words...and I just want to say for anyone else who is out there and who may need to hear this - I'm doing really well. I went to therapy, I have a good job, a good amount of savings, I'm working on practicing the high quality habits that I would expect from a potential partner. I'm overall very happy and I stand up for myself if a man gets inappropriately sexual towards me. I've taken years of MMA classes, I have two degrees. I'm working on slowly building h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:34 AM
14

I went down a YouTube rabbit hole of Adams Family clips following this post and I want this one on a T-shirt: https://youtu.be/PJSWw5ovLzw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 10:55 PM
7

I'm not crying, you're crying!! 😭😭😭❤️🌻🌻🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 10:15 PM
3

Very true! The perpetual student trajectory is a no go. I will continue to vet as usual. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:18 PM
9

Thank you so much for sharing your story, which was incredibly moving to hear. I'm really sorry you went through such terrible experiences but I'm glad you are in a better place now. You should be proud of yourself for getting clean. As someone who has survived sexual assault and who went through the PTSD and the disassociation that you speak of, I completely empathise. I hated men for the longest time and it was my then boyfriend who helped me overcome some of that trauma by showing me not all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:06 PM
11

Without sounding insensitive (and I completely understand if you don't want to share), would you be willing to share why it was a traumatising experience for you? I'd love to learn more as someone who is pretty naive to it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:21 PM
38

Bak bil ki domuzların önüne inciler serilmez. Mücevherden sarraflar anlar ancak, başkası bilmez. Ne fark eder ki kör insan için elmas da bir camda. Sana bakan bir kör ise, sakın kendini camdan sanma. Translation: Look, know that you should not lay pearls before swine. Only jewellers understand gems, other people don't. What difference is there between diamonds and glass for a blind person? If the person looking at you is blind, don't think that you are made of glass. –Rumi (My favourite poem fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:56 PM
4

Facts. Get tested, use a condom, and if you're ok with tolerating it always have a second contraceptive method like the birth control pill. Edit: also get tested every 4-6 months on your own so if your boyfriend cheats, catches something and gives it to you, you know sooner rather than later (e.g. sooner so there is less damage done to your body and you can get treatment earlier).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 10:20 AM
14

I used to be really into avoidant guys. I have a bit of an anxious attachment style and wanted to chase and prove my love to the men I was attracted to. It felt amazing coasting on the high of infatuation and the creative outpouring that came after (I paint and write poetry). But then I'd experience the withdrawal as these men undoubtedly ran away. And I got fed up with it. I got fed up with hurting myself and going through months of 'why doesn't he like me? Why would he do that!?' (rinse and re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:05 AM
53

It was the traditional 'increasingly verbose' approach taken on by people who know fuck all yet like to posture like wisdom shines out of their asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:43 PM
10

Even before I discovered FDS I had one rule to dating and that was to ask myself the question: Do I feel good (happy, confident, loved and secure) with this man, or do I feel bad (anxious, insecure, unconfident, always chasing etc.)? If it was the latter I knew he wasn't the one. I don't date anybody who makes me feel bad or like I have to rationalise away things that make me confused or doubtful. My ego, happiness and dignity are sovereign, inalienable and inviolable. I would have swerved on th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:41 PM
3

But what are the men like? (Genuine question, not trying to be rude.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:49 PM
12

Is his name Patrick Bateman, by any chance?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:42 PM
1

Would you mind sharing what she teaches? How can I stop wasting energy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:41 PM
5

Is MVM medium value?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:08 PM
32

Fair enough! It's absolutely bizarre when men try to get competitive with the women they're dating (and not in a cute, funny, jokey way). A competitive partner is not a supportive partner, a competitive partner wants to trump you so doesn't want to 'lose' to you and will never have your best interests at heart. That's no way to be in a relationship! Also arrogance, or any type of superiority complex is a massive no-no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 01:22 PM
44

I come from a culture where this is practised in some regions of the country and I have to say, I don't agree with this approach either. It doesn't actually give the woman any more freedoms or liberty in society and it makes the men worse because they don't get to speak to women or have a chance at having a conversation where they could get a female viewpoint, and they end up fetishizing simple encounters with women to the extreme. It's a bit hard to describe it to a westerner if they've never e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:53 PM
5

These YouTube couples give me life. Whenever I start getting cynical and think about compromising my standards to 'FiNd A mAn' I go online and watch people who are clearly HV, e.g. Lauren and Cameron Hamilton, and to a lesser extent (because it's not a couples channel but a music channel) Brandon Acker's YouTube channel (dude seems like the most cultured, gentle person ever).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:34 PM
18

Could you please elaborate on what else was going on, if you don't mind?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:25 PM
89

Yeah this seemed genuine instead of like... performative and forced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:14 PM
7

Ladies what are your feelings on men who don't have a decent job, but the reason is they have just finished a masters and are looking for a better job? Currently speaking to a guy who was working while studying and is now working at a bar in the interim. I know we say don't date on potential however working while studying indicates a good work ethic to me. He has two masters, one in International Business. Thoughts? Unmatch or just note it as a yellow flag? Edit: I unmatched with him. He was sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:36 PM
68

Yeah after 5 years together with my ex things were getting a little stagnant so I told him it would be nice if he sometimes planned nice dinners for us so I could get dressed up and he could take me out. Never once happened. In the end, I ended up planning our romantic dinners (which we would split 50/50) and the emotional labour of it all grinded away at me till I was ready to walk away. I communicated, he didn't listen and now he's my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:01 PM
7

Indeed! Glad you had a similar experience 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 06:01 PM
2

Ah fair enough, I haven't really been following her enough to know what else she's said. I think the whole music industry is toxic and full of women who are massive pickmes. It's almost like they recruit for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:11 PM
22

Ladies, I just wanted to share something that made me really happy this week. I meet my therapist for regular weekly sessions. She's obviously learned a lot about my life and who I am as a person over the past few months. Yesterday she told me she thinks I'm "very inspiring", and that I have healthy ways of dealing with difficult situations. She said that I have a seam of resilience in me that has meant I have overcome some very difficult situations. Her recognition of me and her description of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:09 PM
5

She did an interview where she said that the whole album was about being played by a man. Hopefully that means she's aware of the situation she found herself in and has grown from the experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:35 PM
4

I've not dated around much so I'm still figuring out my preferences now that I'm newly single (which is pretty exciting and fun), however what I DO know about myself is: I like white guys, or slightly tanned (e.g. Mediterranean) guys with green/ blue eyes and dark hair. This is kinda my type. Physically speaking, Cameron Hamilton from Love is Blind is probably close to my perfect man. Tall - I'm 5ft 2 but my ex was 6ft 4. I don't find men who are 5 ft 11 tall. I need them to be at least 6ft 1-2.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:30 PM
6

I think she described what many of us have felt with men rather beautifully. I think women's sexuality is more receptive to feeling valued consistently, over a long period of time, than a start/stop binary model of 'Horny or no?' that men seem to have. We need the small, thoughtful displays of a man investing in a woman or the relationship. Of feeling valued for ourselves beyond our sexual selves. We get objectified and sexualised so often, a mental, intellectual or spiritual connection is often…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:41 PM
4

Yeah I'm British too and I think it's a different perspective over here. I briefly went to America and I felt super unsafe. On the whole, I'm against the idea of the general public having access to firearms. In a place like the UK, where people can't buy guns (unless it's for very specific farming/ hunting purposes) I would not be ok with guns becoming available to the masses. I think it creates a huge amount of problems in society. However, if I were living in the US I would probably own a gun …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:15 PM
7

Louder for the people at the back please! 👏👏👏 Honestly, women are so incredibly psychologically resilient it makes my eyes roll back in my head when a guy thinks he deserves praise for being 'strong'. I've got a friend who gets stressed out just from being at work. He lives a super comfortable lifestyle, where he doesn't pay rent (lives at home), and his mum takes care of everything. Meanwhile, I work a more stressful job than him, take care of my family and have overcome more obstacles than he'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:04 PM
3

I think along similar lines. I don't like showing my hand and being really angry. Being composed and dignified is very important to me, it's part of my personal brand. I like staying classy. It also gives them less leverage over me. I am not a fan of revealing my values/ thoughts/ what annoys me to LVM. They can wonder about what makes me so composed, they may even find it more attractive which gives me more leverage over them (whether I choose to associate with them is a different story). I tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:41 PM
5

Just this Monday I found out that my work colleague (who I'm not even that close to) lost her mum. Poor woman was on the verge of tears and trying to hold it together at her desk. I decided she needed a reason to smile so I went out and bought her some fancy chocolates and a card on my lunch break. I'll happily treat the people around me to gifts and thoughtfulness, especially if they need it. I don't expect anything in return, I just wanted to cheer her up. It's not that hard to empathise and d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:21 PM
5

It's interesting. I used to be so passionate about women's rights but I found my passion ebbing away over time. I had chalked it down to me not being as radical as in my youth, having a good life where I didn't have to deal with much sexism and just 'growing up' overall. But now I realise it's maybe because I couldn't align myself with what pop culture has coopted feminism into becoming. When I discovered FDS and started reading all the content on here my passion for feminism came roaring back. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:26 PM
9

Maybe we need to create a satire show 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:39 AM
30

In breaking news: men fetishizing women for having no sexual experience, while simultaneously fetishizing women for having sexual experience and being '$luTs'. Stay tuned for more sexism on Paradoxes of Patriarchy (news theme tune plays).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 08:36 AM
38

It's nice that your husband reassures you. This is the reason why I'll unmatch with any man on OLD who says I'm 'cute'. I'm not 'cute', I'm beautiful. If you're not attracted enough to me to see that, then you're just wasting my time. Don't infantilize me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:56 AM
16

So I (think I) want kids, unlike many of the CF ladies here, however, I find it an absolute SNOOZEFEST when guys put pictures of kids or pets (usually dogs) on their profiles...I feel like men who think that way have bad judgment about women: they think they can trick us into feeling maternal because that's how we're 'hardwired' and that we find these sad displays of virtue signalling attractive. I don't care about your faux or real child, I don't care about your dog, I don't care if you like tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:38 AM
20

Not gonna lie...they all look like LVW and LVM to me but maybe I'm being too judgmental lol...😅 I think two of those girls actually fought each other for the bouquet 🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:01 AM
5

You're not the only one. I think the manner in which you break up probably determines whether you can remain friends or not. If they're awful people and you break up with hella drama then yes I completely get it if you don't want to be friends. On the flip side my break up with my ex was amicable with no drama and we have remained friends. We both respect and give each other space though, especially when it comes to dating other people. I wouldn't want to give him or his new girl the impression …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:53 PM
5

I've never thought about this! Thanks for sharing. Saved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:03 PM
1

Impressive! Happy for you, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:35 PM
6

Ugh. So many men in relationships have done this to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:47 PM
5

I'm in the UK too so maybe we matched with the same guy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:39 PM
8

I recently came out of a relationship and thought I was really looking for another relationship. But I'm actually not sure what I want now! Anybody else feel like this? I want a HV man, a husband and the white picket fence and kids but I don't want to lose my freedom or independence. I want a serious relationship but I also can't be bothered to date around (read: wade through OLD bullshit) and deal with people. Maybe I should just go for something casual. I know that's not FDS approved but I've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:20 PM
3

That's wild! Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:11 PM
8

Thanks. I'm in the UK so northerner means something else here. I unmatched him. While he seemed nice, I'm looking for an equal and a man who is confident in himself, not a sappy puppy who can't go 12 hours without hearing from me and thinking he's 'scared me off'...like I have a life lol. I can't be bothered to deal with a man who needs constant reassurance, he's not a baby and I'm not a mum. He should just grow a backbone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 04:11 PM
2

Yeah, I don't know if he actually has enough game for love bombing lol. He just strikes me as someone who is very insecure and looking for a relationship and would probably worship the ground I walk on but I don't want to deal with such needy behaviour. I don't want to have to reassure him every time I don't speak to him for more than 12 hours lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:22 AM
8

Ladies what's your experience with guys who seem a little insecure? A man messaged me on OLD with a really lovely message, like 'You're so beautiful and I like your comments on your profile you seem like a good person, would love the chance to take you out for dinner at some point.' I thought this was nice so I matched with him. However we've been chatting and there are a few things I'm unsure of. For example, he's always apologising for himself or excusing himself. I'll ask him a question, he'l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:43 AM
18

Yeah he's trying to front like he's the one calling the shots but see how he was crossing his arms in front of his chest whereas the purple haired lady was expanding her body language by putting her hands on her hips and getting into a power stance? She was having none of it and was dominating him completely, both verbally and subconsciously. I bet they cut the clip short there because she gave him a piece of her mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:51 PM
5

I just came out of a relationship where I was the bigger earner while doing most of the emotional labour of cooking and cleaning etc. so I'm definitely wary of that dynamic. I'm not looking to burn myself out thank you very much! 🛑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:19 PM
6

If anybody asks me this question, I'd turn it back on them, 'Why don't you tell me what you'd rate yourself first?' And just keep the conversation focused on them and their objectification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:16 PM
4

Yeah I know what I'm describing is very rare and that it makes more sense for the man to provide financially and the woman to raise the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:05 PM
2

Oh don't worry, I wasn't thinking of him specifically when I wrote this comment. I can't deal with lazy men who think staying at home and mooching off a woman is the way to go. They have no concept of the work involved to raise kids. My comment was more about men who do earn their own money, who are not lazy, but who are also family oriented whereby they don't mind sharing or doing most of the child rearing. Perhaps they respect their wives and their wives' careers in a dynamic, not of exploitat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:00 PM
1

Honestly, my career is really important to me so if I found a guy who was genuine about this and had a decent enough job to take care of the family during the initial maternity leave phase (while I recovered from the birth/ breast fed etc.) I would happily trade places, and go to work. That is, only if he was genuinely a good person and a good dad though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:48 PM
3

I would like to start a petition for Disney to create better female characters 😂 Jokes aside...if I have kids I don't want them to be internalising all the same messages that I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:55 PM
11

Yeah I once spotted a guy craning his neck to look back at me while driving his car in the opposite direction. Absolutely trash, dangerous driving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:52 AM
41

😂 I don't know why this is so accurate, this description is giving me life 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:51 AM
7

Interesting. Maybe it's time to move to the Netherlands 😅 I think their culture as a whole is a bit better in how they treat women, or at least that's the impression I get as an outsider.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:28 PM
5

I saw this on tinder and I'm surprised by the number of guys who chose not to tell the truth about the cheating*! I'm not sure they realised their choices were going to be displayed for all to see😂 Serves them right and I really like the fact that tinder came up with this. I'm interested to see what scenarios they come up with for Episode 2 and whether guys will lie to look better now that they know their answers will be visible. *Surprised not because I have faith in men, but surprised at how s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:08 PM
9

What did you like about dating in the Netherlands? You always hear they're about going Dutch, which seems anti-FDS, were there other factors that made up for it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:34 PM
1

Sorry you went through that ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:18 AM
7

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:14 AM
41

Could you elaborate on this please?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:25 AM
101

😂😂 I once had a date with a guy who had really bad blackheads on his nose. Not attractive!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:24 AM
11

Yeah absolutely. Forget the fact that we were on a date, I would have covered the bill for a colleague or friend because it was such a nominal amount! Also another thing I noticed was that his face dropped when I mentioned I live at home with my family. I think he was expecting to get some nooky and his plans were thwarted when he realised that wasn't happening. What a loser. Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:28 PM
6

I really appreciated your thoughts on this. I have had trouble articulating my feelings around WAP but I think you've touched on my issues with it, and the fact that, at the same time, I don't want to deny women the ability to express their sexuality and sensuality and feel empowered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:37 PM
16

Also he never once complimented me which I found very bizarre. Most guys usually say something like 'you look lovely', even if it's just a pleasantry for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:47 PM
44

Just came back from a first date. What a bust. Thought I would share it with you ladies so we could all have a good laugh: Invited me out for drinks 🚩. When I said I don't drink much suggested a picnic and lunch which I accepted. On the actual date, he had no picnic basket! I had brought my picnic blanket and a bottle of water so was carrying around a bag while we instead went for 'a walk' in the park 😂😂😂 Finally he suggested that we find somewhere to sit so we went to a cafe. When the waitress …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:37 PM
4

I'm in my late 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:00 PM
3

This is a description that I can get behind. I feel like I'm a fiery tornado rapped up in the body of a petite, friendly, polite girl haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:58 PM
49

Is there something wrong with me? The idea of being engaged in a year is super scary to me and feels too quick. I do want to eventually find a husband and get married, I just get a bit freaked out by what is (to me) a very short timeline. Is it because I haven't met someone who I'd consider getting married to? I'm big on having my own freedom and marriage seems like a lot of responsibility. Am I looking at this all wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:14 PM
16

I've never said this before because it's a little controversial and I didn't want to come across as intolerant or 'not woke', but FDS has made me realise that a lot of religious practices (or at least the cultural practices that go hand in hand with religion) enable a society where it is ok for men to be LV and treat their women like shit. I can't see any religious man (who believes in misogynistic religious tenets) as high value, unless he actively separates what he reads in his holy book with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:49 PM
8

The stories of cheap LV men on here have reminded me of a friend I used to have. He was my uni class mate and would always ask me to share my food with him. As someone who comes from a culture where sharing is customary (and being a generally nice and generous person who didn't want a friend to go hungry) I would oblige and give him some of my food. Well the one time I asked to have some of his food he DECLINED. I was shocked and he said, 'sorry I don't believe in reciprocal altruism.' I was so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:40 PM
3

I know this sub advocates for no contact but I don't think it's necessary in this case. We broke up due to incompatibilities (e.g. I wanted children, he didn't etc.) and not because we had a toxic relationship (we didn't). When we initially broke up I went NC and took the time to heal. Since then we have talked here and there and I think we are both mature enough to be friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:50 PM
23

Reminds me of this guy I matched with on OLD who, rather aggressively, was like "You're allowed 2 red flags" as one of his initial messages. I replied "The same rules applies to you" while in my head thinking that that was red flag number 1, and completely losing interest in him. I think he was a bit taken aback that I didn't just roll over and try to prove myself to him. Sometimes you have to remind them it's a two way street: you have to impress me too hombre. Starting a conversation from such…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:36 PM
4

I agree with this. As long as they are small things and not big deal breakers and the small things don't point to potentially bigger problems and they don't drive you crazy then I think it's counterproductive to be too rigid in our standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:40 PM
4

Don't be silly, I won't judge you. We're here celebrating that you successfully levelled up and you treated yourself! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:44 AM
10

I've emotionally leveled up and I wanted to share it with you all! I broke up with my ex 7 months ago. We were together for 5 years, but emotionally involved for 12 (he was my first love and he moved to my country for me). He wasn't a bad person but we had certain incompatibilities that, in conjunction with a global pandemic and not being able to see each other (long distance relationship), meant we decided on an amicable break up and to remain friends. I was so so so so so miserable for the lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:16 AM
7

Yassss gurlll. I'm dreaming of the day I can buy my first designer handbag. Which did you go for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:05 AM
11

I faced my fair share of adversity growing up and I never make excuses about it. I use it to motivate myself to be better y'all. I really couldn't stand someone who makes excuses for themselves instead of acknowledging yes you had it rough but still working hard to live a better life. (Sorry if this post is grammatically all over the place, I'm in a food coma ♥️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:35 PM
15

This is so sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:39 PM
2

That last paragraph is the truth♥️ If you don't mind elaborating, presumably you had dated other people in that 9 year period, right? How long were you single for before you found your HV man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:17 PM
7

Yeah...not sure if this is real but either way I lolled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:11 PM
6

That's lovely thanks for sharing your story 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:15 PM
3

From being single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:06 PM
44

This made me LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:49 PM
5

What a let down lol. Sorry you went through that. Someone else on FDS said it took her maybe a year to find her HV man and that she had to go on like 50+ dates before she found him. I keep that in mind when I get disappointed. I do think it's a bit of a numbers and time game, like interviewing for the right candidate lol. There are women here who are in relationships with and married to HV men so that gives me hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:36 PM
13

A lot of the women they rate low on that chart are gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:10 PM
9

Being entrepreneurial = saying they're a business owner but actually being broke/ having few real life job skills
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:59 PM
2

Don't assume that men on more 'serious' dating apps are looking for commitment. Many of these guys are on multiple dating apps, including the less serious ones where they are looking for hookups. You shouldn't be sharing that you're looking for something serious from the get go. You should be sussing him out instead. Please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:47 AM
2

So true. I feel a lot of platonic love for people. I don't know if other people feel the same way. I think it often gets confused for romantic love, which complicates things. I love (lol) how in Ancient Greece they had names for different types of love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:31 AM
1

Thank you! Also love your username haha. You are indeed cooler than the average mom. 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:18 AM
6

Following on from u/proud-purpose 's point: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3128753.stm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:11 AM
4

Brilliant thanks. I said 'I'm looking for dependability and trust and someone I can get to know over a some time.' This should hopefully weed him out if he's here for 'a good time, not a long time' 🙄🙄😂😂 Thanks for your help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 08:35 PM
45

My friend has a close gay friend and he bought her flowers when they met up recently. They were in the park and a bunch of people oversaw, misinterpreted and started saying 'aww!' She had to clarify that they weren't dating and they were so confused and started asking 'why?' She was like 'because he's awesome! 😁' I want more friends in my life like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:37 PM
3

I want to give you a million upvotes lol ♥️♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:51 PM
6

Good luck, I hope he gets his just desserts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:09 PM
6

Omg girl are you me? We're totally on the same wavelength. It sooo is this weird self flagellation ritual that women do: Girl 1: Ugh I'm so fat! Girl 2: Noo I'm so much fatter, I hate my tummy Girl 1: Yeah but look at my legs! They're so flabby. Girl 2: I'm trying out this new diet, it's meant to be good for fat loss but I still feel hungry ALL THE TIME Girl 1: Samee, I'm counting my calories but I undid everything when I had too many drinks on the weekend (laughs) I'm so hopeless And so it goes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:38 PM
8

That's exactly it. People tell women they should just be like men because men are successful at negotiating! But the reality is that sometimes just being a confident woman is threatening to people, even if you're not doing anything to hurt them. How many girls talk badly of themselves (weight, height, beauty) and hate girls who don't have these hang ups? I don't indulge in negative self talk like that but I've learned to downplay my confidence otherwise girls and guys can become offended. The re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:27 PM
6

You might be able to reach out to someone and ask? There are plenty of women who are happy to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:58 PM
32

By trial and error mostly. I once tried to negotiate my salary in a masculine way: confident, aggressive, self assured and was fired for it lol. Now I dress and speak very femininely and completely play down my threat to other people, which ironically has led me to be promoted and earn more (making me more of a threat). I try and understand the type of man I'm speaking to (some men respond to being spoken down to and made fun of as 'banter' and some men like feeling their authority is not being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:05 PM
6

What do you ladies say when a guy says they're looking for a relationship and ask you what you're looking for? I would do the usual 'I'll know it when I see it' but I think if a guy is serious about wanting a relationship he may take that as a wishy washy answer that you're not certain of what you're looking for. I know many men fake that they want a relationship so I don't want to immediately be like 'Omg me too I want a relationship!!!' but I'd be interested to know if anybody has a better res…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:07 AM
47

I think the women that fill these roles have to be exceptional and smarter and work harder than any man there in order to get to where they are. Working in a male dominated environment myself, SO much of my own career success is tied to being able to switch on/off my femininity and masculine traits at the right time in order to navigate a very male dominated industry. You're constantly juggling gender expectations and implicit biases. I wouldn't be surprised if the same instincts that led these …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:00 AM
30

Thank you for saying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:10 AM
11

Thanks I went with a 'That sounds like a lovely invitation but I'm not a big drinker so would be happy to do something else, if you had any other ideas?' as I didn't want to spell out a dinner date for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:11 PM
5

Ladies, a man has invited me out for a drink. Boring, typical. How do y'all feel about this situation? Do you suggest he plan a better date and give him a chance to come correct or just block and delete for the low effort from the start?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:59 PM
69

This is such an important post because I think a lot of women fall into this trap (myself included). I would loooovee coasting on the highs and the lows of infatuation and using it to fuel my creativity and artistic side. I ultimately realised it was exhausting for me and I hated going through the same thing over and over again, being 'in love' then heartbroken. I discovered FDS because I was looking for a dating strategy to break this cycle and I had already started thinking about how to have h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:15 PM
4

I just watched the first 1 and a half episodes of this based on your recommendations and I am SHOOK. I feel so intensely about the connection between Cameron and Lauren. Cameron is also exactly my type of man (physically) so I'm doubly shook. I would have fallen in love with him too. What goals ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:40 AM
59

Fair enough and I completely understand. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:19 PM
407

I hear you sis but I've gone in the opposite direction recently. What I mean is, I used to be so bashful about guys sexualising me, I used to hide away in how I dressed and how I acted. At some point along the way I ended up...not caring? I started embracing my femininity, dressing really well and looking womanly. If I didn't feel like dressing up I didn't either. I just became more comfortable in my skin because I realised I was fed up of living my life according to the shame brought upon me by…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:04 PM
1

Oh that's annoying thanks for letting me know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:49 PM
3

He's not worth your time. He shouldn't be lying period. Small lies lead to big lies and he's already tried to gaslight you. Next him, honey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:40 PM
61

I want to take come back lessons from this woman. Bravo, bravo 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:29 PM
2

Yes, definitely gurl ♥️♥️☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:14 PM
12

I definitely agree with this and I think we need more messages of open heartedness and love on this sub, to help women heal and move on from past negative experiences. I absolutely love that this is a safe space for women to vent their anger and call out abusive behaviour but we must be careful to ensure that this sub is not only about that. One element of levelling up is healing from our trauma and leaving bitterness behind to focus on love (self love/ love of a new healthy relationship/ love o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:02 PM
26

This is really good advice, OP. You don't have to get involved in everything, or be emotionally invested in everything. Sometimes the best way you can be a friend is to just accept that everybody is at a different point in their lives. You may have found FDS and feel better because of it, but someone else may not be ready to accept that yet. I'm afraid, sometimes you have to compartmentalise your relationships in order to lead a happy life, it is a good skill to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:17 AM
9

So, I'm someone who has a vast amount of interests/ hobbies and I'm good at a lot of things: singing, dancing, painting, cooking, sports, etc. You get the gist. I like trying new things. Do the women here find that this intimidates men (or doesn't)? I'm interested to know of your experiences regarding this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:05 PM
19

My dad just reaffirmed FDS principles and said that if he really loved a woman then, as a man, he would do everything in his power to meet her standards and make her happy. He said that he felt this was his responsibility as a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:38 PM
3

Ok so I studied Anthropology at uni and the truth is neoteny is just one biological strategy that women can use to secure resources from men (in the context of human evolution). It's been a while since I graduated so apologies if I'm rusty on the specifics but it isn't as simple as 'youth in women has been selected because men like young girls', human mating strategies are very varied and a variety of body shapes and physical characteristics (e.g. big boobs/ small boobs, tall women/ short women …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:32 PM
8

It's all good, gurl! ☺️🤜🤛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:35 PM
2

Ooh I've not seen this show, I'll have to watch it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:11 PM
2

Please fill me in! What has he done?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:57 PM
22

Sorry, I'm not sure if my comment made it clear that I very much agree with you. I wasn't trying to excuse her behaviour. (Trying to understand someone's behaviour vs. condoning their behaviour are not the same thing to me.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:51 PM
6

Omg stop I can't read anymore. Jesus Christ, I'm actually pissed off and revolted for that poor girl. Disgusting behaviour from the guy. I can't even imagine trying to have sex after going through a difficult birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:44 PM
13

The 'here for a good time not a long time' line is one that I am consistently physically repulsed by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:31 PM
53

I'm inclined to agree...Perhaps she is not actually attracted to her husband? Especially if they were highschool sweethearts, maybe she never got to date around and explore what she really wanted out of a man and a relationship. I'd guess she's probably feeling resentment and wondering 'what if?' about the life she could have led if she hadn't settled down so early. Either way leaving your kids to go partying like that is a big no no. Very LV behaviour, even if she was depressed. The world is fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:19 PM
20

I don't know what it is, but I get off vibes from him even if the message is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 10:26 PM
7

I'm sorry for your loss ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:21 PM
19

Have you seen the 'rate my profile' posts on the OLD subreddits? Many guys on that sub rate other men on there at least 7+ in terms of looks. I saw one guy, rated a 7.5 who was barely scratching at my personal definition of a 5, to be honest. I thought, 'if he's a 7.5 then I must be Naomi Campbell'...🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:29 PM
4

Thanks I already took it down because it felt off for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:19 PM
2

That's what I thought, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:43 PM
7

Ladies I'm updating my Hinge profile and put the following: One thing you should know about me is that I get covid tested every Fri and results are in 24hrs so you'll know I'm negative if we plan for a weekend (socially distanced) date. No silly risks! Is this too pick-me ish? Or is this something that people would find reassuring? I've included it on my profile but now I'm having second thoughts and I can't quite place why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:16 PM
9

Yeah I think most guys know that if you have been chatting with a girl for 7 days on a dating app and you haven't confirmed a date, with firm details, by that point you may as well give up on ever seeing her because she will lose interest. What was he even thinking, trying to suggest a vague low effort date at a vague low effort time in the future? Especially as we had both established our availabilities for the weekend! Don't get me wrong, I know I am not entitled to his weekend time (just as h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:59 AM
3

Hahah, I have to work on sensing that BDE. I gotta get me that big-dickometer. Does anyone know if they sell it on Amazon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:19 PM
15

Thanks and absolutely. It turned me off completely. I know this sub has a 'don't bother explaining rule' but I said to him 'With all due respect, I'm not going to be waiting around for the day you come into town. I'm on a dating app, going on dates and your idea of dating is very different to mine if you think I'll be waiting around for a drink', and then I blocked and deleted him. So annoying. I'm either a priority and you want to see me, or you don't. I'm still pissed off lol. I need to work o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:16 PM
15

Damn girl, 10 inches?! You're brave! 😳😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:16 PM
8

Thanks. I asked him what he was looking for and he said 'Not that I'm looking to rush but I'm looking to find the right person and then when I do have a relationship.' He asked me what I was looking for and I said 'Yes I'm also not rushing but I'm looking for someone to genuinely connect with and get go know. I'll definitely know if it's what I want when I see it!' To which he said 'Do you maybe want to go for a drink the next time I'm in town?' BLAH. He told me he has a relaxed weekend ahead an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:27 PM
139

"I like big dicks and I cannot lie, you other women can't deny, that when a guy walks in with a tree below his waist and a six pack in your face you get SPRUNG."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:03 PM
28

Yah there is no correlation, this may be tmi but I'm 5ft 2 and my ex was 8 inches long, 6 inches in girth. I could take it all and it felt great. He couldn't believe it at first, he was shooketh. It's not a competition but I feel like I deserve a trophy for that 😂😂😂🏆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:23 PM
16

Yes it's called vaginismus and you can see a psychosexual therapist and a gynecologist (who can help you with physiotherapy) in order to treat it. That is assuming that it is indeed mental and that you don't have any underlying physical conditions. I don't mean to scare you, I'm just saying women's issues are often dismissed so it may be worth getting a second opinion and getting checked out by a gynaecologist to make sure that it's all functioning normally down there. The other thing your boyfr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:17 PM
3

Haha. Most songs make no grammatical sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:48 PM
4

Yoooo...so I thought that was meant to be good grammar? Have I been duped all this time?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:31 PM
55

Joe Exotic, you got me cracking up😂😂😂 Edit: I also hate the term exotic. I have trouble explaining it but I think it's because as a POC they seem to be fetishizing my 'otherness' which is... problematic. Anybody else agree or have a more eloquent way of deconstructing this word?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:21 PM
10

Ladies, what's your usual time frame for expecting a date invitation? I've been chatting to this guy on OLD for 6 days now, he seems nice, respectful, interested in me. No sexual innuendo or flirtatiousness. All good. But he hasn't asked me on a date yet. I understand we're in a pandemic and he lives out of town so I'm happy to be patient about meeting up. However, I'm also starting to lose interest/ steam without any sign from him about his interest levels. There's only so much small talk one c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:44 PM
10

You should reach out to your mum, don't be shy. I'm sure she would love to cuddle you again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:26 AM
7

I just say something like, 'Sorry, I don't give out my phone number or social media to people I haven't met and spent some time getting to know better. I'm happy to keep talking on here [OLD chat] for now though. I hope you understand.' If they don't understand then that's a red flag. They should respect your boundaries. In the past men have usually been quite understanding of this with me and some have even become more interested because my number is a prize they have to earn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:51 PM
10

I don't give OLD guys any Instagram or social media accounts. I understand some women are ok with this but personally I'm very protective of my privacy and many OLD men are LV. There are some pics on my Instagram that they can reverse search to my LinkedIn or FB and I feel uncomfortable that they would know my real name and work place and family members etc. They can get to know me better once I have vetted them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:17 PM
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