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PatThePiper Archive

View 11 posts and 84 comments by PatThePiper on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

It was never about the mission, then. It was always about them. That's the problem! They are not the mission. They are a tag along. And until we realize that, we will continue to suffer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:47 AM
3

Just keep your mentality on a mission. What was the purpose of bringing her along? The answer to that question will determine the rest of everything going forward... It has and will always be your mission. If they didn't want to be part of it, then they were never a part of your goal in life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:44 AM
1

Well... human expansion is a military mission. From then to now... it's like that for a reason. Whether you like or not. I don't agree that my life is the dominion of the government; however, we are bound to law because it helps us weed out good vs. evil.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 10:52 PM
2

Of course! We don't need no virgin flesh light! Lol!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 10:05 PM
1

Drugs are bad, mmmm cay. Just get a flesh light..
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:55 PM
5

Yes! Love this. You can have another woman, but they they better be on that mission!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:26 PM
4

Never a 1st Sergeant... SSgt Combat Rescue
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:11 PM
4

I'm talking about your mission in life. If your mission is getting pussy, then do that. However, if you want a companion, they should be going with you on the mission, not taking over, or hindering it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 08:06 PM
2

We are not responsible for someone else's happiness. That's the problem. The problem is the women that behaved like this don't understand unconditional love. They think the grass is greener on the other side. I may have contributed to her realizing she didn't love me unconditionally, but she had a voice. She had an ability to tell me what she wanted and didn't. These women expected us to be mind readers. It's just sad all around. It takes two to make it work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 04:09 PM
4

I'm dealing with the same issue. My retarded STBX wants to sell the house and is willing to lose 6% in realtor fees. I have the ability to buy her out and want to do that. I have custody of the kids as well. So if she wants to go to court, she will most likely waste time and money. The judge is most likely to rule in my favor because I can buy her out, and it's in the best interest of kids to do so. It's very annoying because she doesn't even want the house and can't afford the mortgage. We'll s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 09:38 PM
6

Mine was the covert narcissist. I think they are the most dangerous. They trick everyone around them, even their victims, until its time to discard them. They come across as sweet and innocent. In reality, they are vicious and ruthless.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 11:57 PM
11

Well said, my friend! 👏 It's like fighting for a dead corpse. I fought daily for everything that I thought was real. It was all fake. Once they check out, it's just fantasy. You are no longer dealing with the same individual you walked down the aisle with. It's over. Time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:26 PM
11

I recorded her abusing the children and myself. I just put my phone voice recorder on and put the phone on the counter. I also recorded her on the Ring telling the police she was going to kill herself after the kids were taken away from her. I have possession of the marital home and full custody of the kids. She has supervised visits and lives with her mom. She will also be paying me child support. You have to document with actual evidence. Videos and recordings will go a long way. Also, get a g…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 03:57 PM
7

Brother, it does get better. In just 5 months, I've gone from begging on my knees, acting like a pathetic beta male. I got kicked out of the house, my kids were taken away, and lived with my mom. I wept for weeks. I mean balled like a baby. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I found out she was being sexual with some other guy during that time. It was like a knife being shoved into my soul. I then became obsessed with finding out if she was still involved with this guy. We shared a phone account …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 05:26 PM
31

You made the mistake of thinking that your wedding vows carried some kind of weight. You mistakenly did not know that one day this person would get tired of you and discard you like a bag of trash. They are willing to destroy you and your family for their own happiness. It's all about being happy. You didn't realize that within a short period, they already have found some new person(s) that they are going to give their body up to. Oh, their happiness is key here. If you were to die, they wouldn'…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 12:42 AM
3

My ex did the same thing to me. I had a false DV put against me. I was kicked out of the house for a month and didn't see my kids for 3 weeks. However, I had recorded and documented abuse that she had been doing to me and the kids. I had kept this information in my back pocket because I thought we could be amicable. I told my attorney about my evidence. He filed a counterpetition. Long story short. My ex's attorney dropped her. I have full custody of the kids and possession of the marital home. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:48 PM
15

This is going to be real friend. I'm sorry you have to go through this. But you are living in your mind. You are perceiving your world as fantasy. The person you think you have to have in order to have a sense of yourself is dead, and they are never coming back. The first thing you have to realize is that you should never ever want to be with someone who does not reciprocate that same want back. You are not missing this monster that is now there. You miss the fantasy that you created in your min…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:36 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear that. We will always love a part of the person we once knew. The only thing you can do is let go. Focus on yourself. If something is meant to be there, it will be there. We can't fantasize about something that no longer exists. Stay positive and be true to yourself. I'm trying to get myself to a place where it doesn't matter anymore whether they are there or not. Another person can not determine my happiness. Albeit that's exactly what they think.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 04:27 AM
2

Haha! I know she looks at my Facebook. I have randomly friended beautiful ones who are mutual friends just to make her think about it. I also gray Rock her as much as possible. Yes, and no answers. Or It's very short and to the point. She tries to drag me into debates about unnecessary crap about the kids, and I don't fall for it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 03:52 AM
4

So much for in sickness and health. For better or worse. Till death do us part. Yup. It's like, well, they just decided those parts never actually meant a damn thing. The wedding vows should've said: "I'll stay with you until you start to annoy me. Until I start to resent you. Then, when I'm really sick of putting up with your annoying ass, I'll start to abuse you. Once you don't realize that I'm pissed off at your annoyance, I'll just stop trying. Then one day I'll say, You know what? I'm not h…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 02:41 AM
2

Thanks! I'm sorry you had to deal with the same suffering. I'm happy to hear that my words helped you. These are just my thoughts on the matter. Their suffering will never bring us closure. Only our acceptance and letting go will.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:17 AM
3

Wow! That's sureal... why do you put yourself through something like that? Why not move on and leave her in the dust?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:52 AM
4

For sure! Anytime
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:03 AM
5

Thanks, brother! I wish you the best, too. There is something about betrayal that really cuts deep, especially to those who take honor in never sinking that low. I would never in a million years would have betrayed her. I may have never been perfect, but I dedicated myself to her with my flaws. I expected her to love me in sickness and health. For better or for worse. Until death did make us part. I took that oath literally.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:03 AM
4

It's been about 5 months. I totally get that. It's been more like a roller coaster. The first few months were utterly awful. Despair. Especially when I found out that she was sexual with another man. The only way I could describe the feeling would be one of those videos of mother animal next to their dead baby. They desperately want to revive them, and they can't seem to understand that it's dead. I've contemplated telling her how I feel, but I just want her to go away. Unfortunately, we have ki…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 11:56 PM
5

I wish you the best, my brother. It hurts really bad. I don't want to let go. I want there to be some kind hope. That I wake up, and it was all just a bad dream. That's me deluding myself. I know I need to let go and move on. I want to just not care. Really, I do. Fuck my brain! I hate my mind worse than her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 11:22 PM
14

They don't just wake up one day and decide that they want a divorce. She gave you a warning whether you knew it or not. Some kind of shift happens in their brain that tells them they no longer trust you or feel safe. Believe me, she has been contemplating this for a long time. In fact, she has already grieved the loss of what you once had, so expect that she will move on very quickly. You are just now beginning the grieving. It is going to be a very difficult road ahead since you were not prepar…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 12:38 AM
14

I'm sorry, friend, but unless it's a fault state, none of that crap matters. I found the same stuff. Trifling ass women. My attorney just told me to let it go. It's not worth it. It's not an invasion of jack shit. You are still married and have every right to know what they are up to. I confronted my dumbass ho wife, and she just filed a bogus DV against me. Claimed, I threatened her. Total lies. Luckily, it never amounted to anything. The only thing that's going to help you is documentation of …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:45 AM
15

Exacto mundo! By the time you get to the point of marriage counseling, it's about 3 to 6 years too late. It definitely just reinforced my wife's ideas of it being over. The counselor just made me look like a piece of crap and didn't make my wife accountable for any of her actions in the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:48 PM
1

Thanks. I agree. I just want to make sure I'm not missing something. She can go be a codependent with a simp. It's not my problem or my concern at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:29 AM
1

I am by no means being cocky. I'm scared of this crap. I have been through hell and came back to get my kids and possession of my home if only temporary. I'm just trying to see what I'm missing. I have documentation that she abused the kids, she has supervised visits, and threatened to commit suicide. The court took that seriously. Are they just going to hand her custody and forget about it?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:26 AM
1

She has supervised visits right now. It is possible that she could ask for shared custody, but I am home full-time. She works a 9 to 5 five days a week and is only off for two days. If she is paying for daycare during the time she is at work, or the kids are in school, that doesn't make sense, right? If you want 50/50, that time should be actually with the kids not putting them in a daycare. I'm trying to think logically. This was the big fight when we were still together. She was refusing to wo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 11:06 PM
1

I'm pretty sure it all depends on who has custody and what percentage. Gender does not make a difference. It is a calculated formula. If I'm the custodial parent and I have the kids, the majority of the time, she will be on the hook for child support. I think the majority of the time, men make more than women, and the woman is typically the custodial parent. But it's a matter of the best interest of the kids, not if you have penis or a vagina.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:40 PM
20

That's awesome! Yes, they are bat shit crazy man! She is living at her mom's house now. The really stupid thing for me is that I actually begged her to try and reconcile. This was even after I found out she was sexting some dude while I was still in the house. I actually begged this woman on my knees to reconsider, and she refused. Now, she is kicked out of the house living at her moms and has supervised visits with the kids. What the hell was I thinking? The grieving process is so stupid. We do…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:18 AM
17

I documented her abuse of the kids and myself, and she then threatened to commit suicide. The Judge gave me temporary full-time custody of the kids and sole possession of the house. She has to go to therapy and only gets supervised visits with the kids for a few hours a week. We will still have to divide assets, but I'll buy her out on the house. And we have debt, so she'll come up empty there too. I'm a disabled vet and I don't work so my income is only about twice as much as hers. I won't owe …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:04 AM
2

That's cool! I figured you were female. I was just thinking, "Why is this chick spying on us messed up males here?" Very different, but it actually helps in a weird way.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 03:11 AM
3

I documented her abuses of the kids, and I. She lost possession of the kids and was to have no contact with them. Since the kids and I were no contact with her, the court removed her from the house and gave sole possession to me. It's only temporary pending the divorce completion. It's highly likely she will get some custody in the future, and the house will still be a divisible asset at the end. I plan to buy her out anyway as she works at a retail store as a sales associate and could never aff…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 12:30 AM
3

Thanks for the info. I'm already one semester into my degree. I have two left. I took a break while I go through the divorce. Haha! Yes, that's exactly what it is like. I made a lot of mistakes when we first got married. I was young and just starting my military career. I think over the years we had good and bad times. But especially after having children we drifted apart. I think she built up a lot of resentment because I was successful and she was just on the sideline. That wasn't my fault. Ov…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 05:43 PM
7

She was indifferent. I think she was shocked. She never actually told me how she felt. The only thing she said was that I was dead to her and the kids. The hired appointed server happened to show up on the Saturday of my son's birthday at the house. I had no control over it. I'm getting a Masters in theology. I'm Christian and love studying the Bible. I'm 100% disabled veteran and waiting to retire early from the DoD for medical, so I'm not working. Just trying to expand my knowledge and possibl…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 05:30 PM
8

Thanks! She told me one day in one of her rages, "I'll never be your wife!" This was after we got back from an expensive trip to Disney World. Her plan was to continue to live in the house and suck of my tit until I either blew my brains out or just put up with it. She told me she was going to wait until my youngest started kindergarten next year, and then she would get a job and divorce me. She seriously thought that I would just hang around and allow her to damage me, and I would just put up w…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 05:08 PM
20

I filed for divorce about 4 months ago. I currently have temporary full-time custody of my two small kids and possession of the marital house. We were married for 16 years. She never worked and claimed to be the victim of such a horrible marriage, so I finally gave her what she always wanted. Served her the papers at my son's birthday party. She is now living with her mom and working at Savers as a brand new customer service trainee. Is this what I wanted? Nope. I tried for years to work on myse…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:55 PM
2

Need a little more background on why the court would decide that it's not in the best interest of the kids to share 50/50 custody. It's great that you are considering yourself noble and all, but is your ex doing something to warrant anything less than 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 02:15 AM
12

I'm 4 months in. She doesn't live with me anymore, but I'm definitely on a campaign for myself. You have to be a magnet in the universe, and things will come to you. Simply start becoming who you want to be. We don't need anyone else for that to happen. When you have done that, you will be a magnet for those who are meant for you. The real you! Not the sad, lonely you, or the searching you. We don't search. We find. They come to us. Be the badass that knows what he wants and doesn't settle for a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 08:32 PM
5

For my case, I would grab my phone and use the voice recorder app. I would place the phone down and let her go on with her abuse. I also took pictures of any marks. For logging anything, I would use a notes app and write down the date, time, who was there, what happened, and how it affected both you and any other victims. Be consistent with that. The best evidence is pictures and recording. You have to be very careful when you do that, though. I hope that answers your ? correctly.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 08:22 PM
4

Thanks. Do you mean logging abuse?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 08:10 PM
3

Heck, yeah, homie! I wish you the best!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 06:04 PM
3

Divorce with minor children.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:45 AM
4

Best reply yet! That's exactly what I'm going to do. I was just overwhelmed with emotions. That's why I'm on here. It makes me happy to see you guys telling what I need to hear. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 10:45 PM
2

Thanks! I will check those out. It hurts harder for those men that truly and deeply loved the person they were with. They can't help but feel a piece of their life is being torn from them. To be so easily discard for another taps at the ego. They just want relief from that pain.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 09:47 PM
4

That's why I'm on here! Thanks, bro. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes you need a good slap to get some sense in you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:52 PM
2

I feel for you, homie, and I'm sorry. But we will get past this. If it was meant to be, then it would be. It sucks. But it won't always suck. You can't change it. Let this suffering slowly empower you to be the person you want to be. You're free, and so am I. Our minds are just adjusted to the past. We have to let that leave and bring in the new.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:33 PM
1

That I agree! Need to stay away from all of them period dot. I have a long recovery road ahead. Thanks for the support! I'm sorry you had to deal with this kinda of crap too. But people like you give me hope.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:30 PM
2

No offense taken. You are 💯 correct. She is really a horrible person, and she manipulated my mind. I filed because I knew I had to. But it still hurts. It still sucks. But that's why I'm here. Thank you for your support.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:18 PM
1

I dated one girl for about a month, but she ended it because we just weren't clicking. It was kinda of a bummer, but it was truth. That is 100 percent true. The evidence didn't lie. I think she just emotionally wrecked me, and my ego wants to say. Hell no! You aren't going to just replace me for some other asshole, but that is not in my control. I need to learn to be happy with myself and move on. It's very hard to do though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:15 PM
4

I'll be okay, bro. I hope you are too. There you go. There is plenty of beauty out there. As The Shawshank Redemption says, "Get busy living, or get busy dying"
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:46 PM
2

After our second child she started telling me she hated me that she can't stand me. That I was mean to her throughout our whole marriage. I tried to then "fix" myself. I started going to church. I stopped drinking. I started focusing on the family. We went to a marriage conference and couceling, but the verbal and emotional abuse continued with her until one day she literally told me, "I will never be your wife, I never wanted to marry you. I knew it was a mistake when I was at the altar." We we…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:38 PM
3

I feel your pain, man. I'm 4 months into a divorce that I didn't want either. I'm hurting today. She is also in a relationship with some other asshole. And it pisses me off. It hurts. It sucks badly. You just want things to be normal. I at least have my two kids full-time, but that doesn't help the suffering. She should be here with her kids, and we should be a family, but the reality is she didn't want that with me anymore. She's thinks there is something better. I feel your frustration. I cry.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:26 PM
1

I agree. I'm ready to find myself again. It's getting on that saddle and riding that's the hardest thing. I'll get there. I know it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:16 PM
1

Yes... mainly family. Most people really don't understand. It's really something you have to experience alone most of the time. And that's hard. I'm in therapy, but I just can't shake it. It's like I want to fix it, but I know I can't, and it's frustrating and disappointing. I'm ready to just be my own man. I take care of my kids and provide the best I can.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:14 PM
1

Damn bro. That sounds very similar to my situation. She has called me a narcissist and tried to say that I'm controlling. I gave her everything she wanted. She never worked. I gave her two beautiful children. I wasn't perfect. But the fact that I'm sad that I won't have her anymore even after I was the one who filed and the fact that she could give two shits, should show me what I was actually dealing with. She messed my brain up, so it's hard to figure out what I'm actually doing and thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:08 PM
6

Yes. I was abused. It's hard for a man to admit that. I'm codependent, and I just want help.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:48 PM
3

That makes total sense. She has never once apologized for filing bogus DVs on me first and sexting with some guy while we were still living together.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:57 PM
-11

Hey, she was very apprehensive at first. We took our time. I just wanted to let others know that there is hope. The right person is out there. We should take our time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 12:09 AM
6

I will. I'm diligent. I just wanted to let others know that there is hope. There are beautiful people out there waiting.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 10:06 PM
4

Never! Lol! Lmfao!
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 10:01 PM
2

There is no plans to get married. We just love each other's company. I don't think either one of us want to get married ever again. It's just real.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 09:32 PM
1

Lol! I needed that. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:08 PM
1

Thanks for all that!
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:05 PM
2

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Yes, I don't think I want to ever offer my love again. That also makes it hurt. To know that I won't be able to love again. I want to be stoic for the kids. They need me. She doesn't want or love them as much as I do. She made this decision to put her love investment into another person. She deserves every ounce of any loss coming her way. It just fucking hurts to be discarded after investing almost two decades.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 08:03 PM
1

I depends on your state. If it's a no fault 50/50, then all assets and debts are divided equally regardless of who's is who's. The only exception is an inheritance that's was gained before the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:54 PM
13

Banging some douche bag she knew from high-school. I'm not bitter or anything. 😒
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 07:02 PM
18

"The Psychotic Bitch From Hell Who Tried to Destroy Me, But I'm Smarter Than She is and Now Things Are On My Terms" I know it's a little long, but it's a True Life Drama.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 07:15 PM
1

I'm going through the same thing. Looks like I'll get full custody of both my kids, too. My STBX is already in a full-blown relationship with another jack wagon. It hurts really bad, but you have to remember this new relationship has nothing to do with you. I would get infuriated, cry, sad, upset to the point I couldn't function. But the more I think about it, the more I know that she doesn't love me. There is nothing you or I could have done differently to prevent that. She has a free will to d…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 04:08 PM
1

Yeah, man. It's like we were hypnotized into thinking this was a person who loved you the same way you loved them. But it turns out they were just putting on a character. Once they lost the high from us. They start to abuse both mentally and emotionally. I didn't realize I was being so horribly abused until I got away.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:43 AM
2

I did my research. I didn't know what happened. The more I dug into her behavior from the past and unto the present. I realized that I was nothing more than supply. Everything is always about her. She's never wrong. She has no empathy. I gave this woman 16 years of support and let her do anything she desired. I fathered two children for her and would do anything in the world for her. I was never good enough. I was never fixing myself enough. She discarded me like a piece of dog crap and never lo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:45 AM
1

Exactly 💯 👏
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 01:14 AM
1

I'm not sure how far back it goes, but I only found out about it after I filed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 01:13 AM
2

Yeah, dude. It's totally ridged against us. I'm willing to give the shirt of my back in order to have my kids in my life. No payment is too much.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 11:34 PM
1

Oh, my brother! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I don't understand it. Lucky for my case, I have lots of evidence against her. When the hearing on my case comes up. I hope to flip the script. However, I have no confidence in family court. I pray that you will get your kid back in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 11:31 PM
3

Yup! I hired the best I could find. I don't care if cost me the shirt off my back.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 10:29 PM
1

Thanks! Yeah, bro, I'm all in. I will not let my kids be taken away from me. I plan on never acknowledging her existence ever again. If we have to discuss the kids, then so be it via messaging, but I don't ever again want to let a single breath come out of my mouth about her or to her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 09:20 PM
8

Exactly! I'm dealing with a covert narcissist. She is attempting to destroy me. Ahh, but little does she know, I have all the evidence against her. We'll see what the judge has to say in court when they hear and see it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 07:52 PM
1

Nope. She filed a DVPO against me under false accusations. The court automatically banned me from contact until the hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 05:34 PM
3

Hey, you're not alone, my friend. I have been married for 16 years and have two young kids, and I'm living at my moms house, while my soon to be ex has the kids, the house, and is seeing someone else. I haven't seen my kids in almost two weeks. The divorce isn't final. I know the pain you are feeling. It is gut-wrenching. The feeling of loss is so hard. Right now, I feel like I'm dying. And maybe that's exactly what it is. I feel like a fishing bobber in the middle of a raging rapid. No one can …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 03:23 PM
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